Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

The Challenge

Part Two

This is a sequel to my first Story, The Homecoming. It is not necessary to read that one first, however, I would recommend it, as some events and situations that take place in this Story will be better understood if you have read TH first.

Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve are owned by Pacific Renaissance/MCA Universal/USA Studios. I have only borrowed some of their identifying characteristics for this work of original Fiction.

Sexual Content Warning: This is a Story of two Women who are very much in love - with each other. There are many love scenes, and some are explicit. If you are under the age of consent where you live or have homophobic tendencies, please give this Story a miss. Thanks!

Language/Violence: Imagine Xena in the 1990's - yep, she swears. And she's a cop, so there's some violence too. This Story contains hurt/comfort elements as well.

"New Age"/Religious Content warning: I'm a "new age" kind of girl, so my characters are too. All new age/metaphysical and healing occurrences presented here are actual phenomena that I have personally experienced. By presenting my characters' religious views, I by no means wish to diminish the views of others. IMHO, each person's religious view is the "right" one (smile).

Author's note: Feedback is very much welcomed. However, flames and homophobic mail will be joyously burned in a ceremonial cleansing ritual :-) Thanks for reading! - JL, 2001

3 weeks later, early May

Janna finished setting the places and arranged the candles around the spa in the gazebo as she heard Ryan's Harley pull into the driveway. She smiled, feeling her mate's proximity as a loving warmth in her heart center as she strode around the back of the house to greet her.

She stood watching, arms crossed, as her gorgeous partner climbed off of her bike and removed her helmet. When she spotted Janna, Ryan's face broke into a huge grin and she set the helmet on the bike and unhooked her gym bag from Janna's seat. She smiled widely as she strode toward her grinning mate, and scooped her into her arms when she reached her.

They shared a long, loving kiss before Ryan said, "Hi, baby. I've felt your happiness all afternoon...what did the doctor say?"

Janna grinned widely as she looked up at Ryan. "The test was positive, of course! I'm four weeks along and we're due on December 22."

"A Christmas baby! Oh, Janna, that's great!" She kissed her wife's cheek before walking her toward the kitchen door.

"I know...honey, my Mom's birthday is on Christmas.... wouldn't it be special if she arrived then?" Janna's eyes were sparkling merrily and Ryan could feel her extreme happiness.

"It would, baby." As they entered the house, she set her bag on the counter and embraced Janna tightly. "God, baby, what a Christmas we'll have...even better than our first one together...and that's saying a lot." Her eyes twinkled as she pulled back and gazed at her wife.

"It sure is!" Janna grinned as a memory flashed across her awareness, involving a very special lovemaking session in front of the hearth on Christmas night. "Can you think of a more wonderful gift to each other, Ryan?"

"I cannot, love." She kissed her mate and added warmly, "I absolutely cannot."

"Come on, babe. I've got a special dinner all ready for us in the gazebo."

"Janna! Did you feel up to that, love?"

"Well, it helped to take my mind off of the nausea, so I didn't mind."

"God, baby, I wish this morning sickness would go away...I hate that you're hurting." Ryan's uncharacteristic misty eyes conveyed her sincerity and warmed Janna's heart.

"Let's go eat, honey and I'll tell you everything the doctor told me." She began to lead Ryan out of the kitchen, but was halted.

"Janna...there's nothing wrong is there?" Ryan's brows creased in concern as she looked pointedly at Janna.

"No, no...not at all. Everything is just fine, honey. Come on...I'm hungry."

"Well that's a good sign." Ryan grinned.

"Oh, Ryan...will you grab the drinks, please? I just can't bear the smell of the refrigerator...and I don't want to throw up again."
"How many times were you sick today, love?"

Janna grimaced. "Three. Twice while I was fixing dinner. This ultra-sensitive sense of smell is the strangest thing. I mentioned it to Sara earlier and she said the worst thing for her was dog food...she absolutely couldn't feed the dog for nine and a half months."

"Babe, I'm sorry. From now on, you let me help you in here, okay?" She grasped Janna about the waist and gazed into her eyes.

"Ryan, you don't enjoy cooking...it's okay, I can manage."

"Janna Norden-Zamora, I'm not asking...I'm stating a fact. I will help you in here from now on, so you don't get sick and endanger yourself and our baby." She softened her words with a small smile before adding, "I'm afraid you're throwing up too much, and not getting the proper nutrition. Did you talk to the doctor about that?"

"Yes, I did...and I'll tell you about it while we eat. I really need to eat now, Ryan, or I will be sick again. Grab me an Odwalla, please."

"Okay." Ryan grinned and waited for Janna to leave the room before opening the refrigerator door, then grabbed two bottles of juice and joined her mate in the bedroom.

"So, it's suits instead of skins, huh?" Ryan asked with a smile as she stripped out of her uniform. She had adopted the habit of not changing at the station after her shift...so she could get home to Janna sooner. Since they often unwound in the spa together when she got home, she found it worked out well: it was relaxing and rinsed off the day's grime.

"Well, it doesn't really matter how we go in, does it? Since we usually lose the suits at some point anyway?" Her mate remarked coyly as she stepped into her green one piece bathing suit.

"It would save a bit of time and frustration though, when things heat up, if I didn't have to fight with your clothes. I mean, why bother, baby?" Ryan grinned rakishly to drive her point home.

"Um, the neighbors, love?"

Ryan's answer was a grin and a shrug and she stepped into her black suit and pulled it up, then followed her mate back downstairs and out onto the deck, where the spa sat within the lovely gazebo.

A short time later, Ryan fed Janna a forkful of pasta and received some salad from Janna's plate in return. She sighed, enjoying the meal. "So, how many times did you pee today, love?"

Janna laughed, nearly losing the mouthful of spaghetti. "Honey, what made you think about that just now?"

"Just wondering how your day went, hon, besides the puking." Ryan grinned.

"Oh, God...honey, that doesn't help, let me tell you." Janna frowned at her mate, who adopted a sheepish look. "And, to answer your question...about seventy-five times."

"Shit!"

"I'm kidding, silly! I'd say probably two or three times an hour or so. The doctor said that should get better any time now...until the last few months, at least."

"What else did she say, love?"

"Not a lot...it was just a short visit, really...to confirm the blood test. But she started me on prenatal vitamins and gave me some nutritional information. I have a comprehensive examination scheduled for next week."

"When, sweetheart? I'd like to go with you."

Janna smiled. "I thought you might, so I scheduled it for late afternoon next Thursday...that way you won't have to miss much of your shift."

"Great, Janna...thanks. What about the throwing up?"

"Well, she said it sounds more severe than usual, so she wants to keep an eye on it. If I start losing any more meals than I already am, she may give me an anti-nausea medication."

"Is that safe, Janna? You're being so careful, not even taking Tylenol...I don't want to hurt the baby."

"She says it is...but I agree, I will only take it if I really have to. She says its important for me not to get dehydrated from the vomiting, so you can help me watch that, okay?"

"Done, love." Ryan handed Janna her bottle of fruit juice and grinned. "Here, drink."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Don't mention it." Ryan finished the last of the delicious pasta and sat back against the side of the spa, feeling wonderfully full. "That was so good, baby. Thank you."

"Don't mention it!" Janna finished her last bite of salad and joined Ryan, who folded an arm around her shoulders. They sat together and enjoyed the pleasant evening, both noting the lengthening days as spring marched on. Through the lathe privacy screening they watched as the sky darkened; turning from the light blue of late afternoon, to the vivid turquoise of evening. Soon it would be velvety black and dotted with twinkling stars.

"Mm, it's a nice night. Hey, there's Luna." Ryan pointed to the crescent moon that decorated the southern sky.

Janna smiled toward their friend. "Hello, Grandmother Moon."

"I feel like she's a friend to us, Janna. I love her energy."

"Mm, me too, love. She is our friend. She always seems to be there for us...supporting us." Janna glanced at her mate by her side and remarked, "You must have a lot of Lunar energy in your body, like I do, Ryan. We're both very affected by her cycles."

"Yes, is that why we always cycle together, at the full moon?"

"Possibly...though I think that it's common for women who live together to cycle together, and women who try to live balanced lives in harmony with nature tend to cycle at the full moon and ovulate with the new."

"I didn't know that, Janna."

"Yes...you've heard of the Native tradition of the moon lodge?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes, that's right. Most, or all, of the women of the tribe would cycle together and go to the moon lodge during the full moon." She gazed at the moon again and said reverently, "Her energy is powerful." Ryan turned her gaze from Luna to Janna and asked, "What do you mean by my having Lunar energy in my body, though?"

"We all choose the physical characteristics that our bodies will have before beginning each life. One of the characteristics is planetary energy...planetary influence. Some people choose the lunar influence, some Jupiter, some solar, Mercury, Saturn, and so on. You've heard the terms 'mercurial' and 'saturnine' to describe people?"

At Ryan's nod, she continued, "Descriptions of body type, based on the amount of a particular energy. I'm almost totally lunar, while I think you're a mixture of mainly lunar and some solar. You have that strong, attractive body type."

"So, this is ancient knowledge, I take it?"

"Yes, though I found out my body type in a channeling session."

Ryan grinned. "Ah...the spirit dudes!"

"Yep! My spirit friends told me."

"I'd like to go talk to them again soon, babe...they're fascinating. They told me the most interesting stuff about the criminal mind and why people do the things they do...about how their motivations are based on soul-age level, personality traits chosen for that life, and karma."

"You know, Anna may write a book based on her conversations with this Spiritual entity. It's information the whole planet can benefit from."

"Absolutely, babe. It's helped me immensely...to understand people. To understand why my baby thinks the way she does." She grinned and pulled Janna close.

"That goes both ways, love...my warrior."

"Mm, and I'd like to do another past-life regression with them. That was so cool, babe...just like being there." She smiled as she added, "It's amazing to me that I was a peacemaker in the life right after the warrior life...and you were a warrior working for peace, supporting me."

Janna grinned. "It's called 'karma', babe. Let's plan on seeing Anna and Terry soon, then. In addition to more channeling, I'd like to get another Reiki attunement while I'm pregnant. That way the baby will be born attuned."

"She'll be born with the ability to run Reiki? Honey, that's incredible!"

"It's wonderful...such a special gift." Janna smiled warmly as she leaned into her mate's shoulder.

"Jesus, the kid will probably be a Reiki Master by the time she's four." Ryan shook her head in amazement, grinning.

"If she's anywhere near as determined as you are, she will...though I would hold off on that level until she could fully understand it."

"Well, if she's anywhere near as intelligent as her Mommy is, that will be around three or four, babe."

"Or as precocious as her other Momma...God, honey, I feel for your Mom." Janna laughed.

"Babe, I have a strong feeling that I'm gonna be getting a dose of my own medicine before too long."

"I hope so, baby." Janna said as she turned and sat in her wife's lap.

"Janna, that's not nice...give me a kiss, baby." Janna did as requested and pulled Ryan's swimsuit down off her torso as she did so. She ran her hands sensuously over Ryan's breasts as they kissed, coaxing soft moans from her partner.

"Mmm, Janna...are you gonna have your way with me, baby?"

"I am, love. Here, or in bed?"

"Here, since Grandmother Moon is out...okay?"

Janna answered her with a searing kiss, which took her breath away and made further conversation both impossible and undesirable. Luna smiled on her friends, as was her habit, as she saw them begin their loving dance. When they finally exited the spa, she had already journeyed into the western sky.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan rubbed her soulmate's thigh gently as they sat together on the bench. She could feel her mate's trepidation as she awaited the start of their game against their main rivals, Mid-Valley Auto. The previous season, in only her second game with the team, Janna had been injured...deliberateley taken out by a nasty, sliding player, when they had played the same team. Her sprained ankle had healed quickly, thanks to her mate's loving attention and Reiki, but now she worried about facing the dirty player again.

"Janna, honey, it's alright. There is no way in hell that she will try anything like that again. She will be out of the league permanently if she does, and I know that I made it perfectly clear to her what would happen if she did ever try to hurt you again."

"I know, Ryan, but there is so much more at stake now than just a sprained ankle. I don't want to endanger the baby." Janna looked up into Ryan's concerned gaze with worried green eyes.

"Look, baby...just calm yourself, take some breaths, and sit here quietly. She hasn't even looked our way...but if she does, I'm on it. She will not come near you, love...I promise. How's your stomach?"

"Not too bad right now. I just hope I don't barf on the field later."

"You have your Power Bars, right?"

At Janna's nob, she said, "Good, you can nibble on those...and drink plenty of water, too." She reached an arm around her mate and patted her back. "Everything will be fine, honey... I promise. Try to enjoy the game."

Janna felt somewhat reassured by Ryan's words and took her advice, breathing deeply to calm herself. When the game started a few minutes later, she felt much more centered.

Their team was up first, with Janna batting lead-off, and as she strode to the plate, she was accompanied by her protective mate...under the guise of giving her hitting advice. As she walked Janna to the plate, Ryan eyed the opposing shortstop menacingly, leaving no question as to her message. The player in question looked down at the ground rather sheepishly and kicked at the dirt as she pounded her fist into her glove.

Ryan, satisfied that her message had been delivered, patted Janna's behind gently as she said, "Wait for a good one, babe."

Janna did, and slammed a line drive just over the shortstop's head, beginning the game in fine fashion and leading her team to a shutout victory. She had a little help from her mate, the pitcher, who struck out seven and hit two home runs.

After the game, Ryan and Janna treated their teammates to dinner at the Rainbow Lounge and shared their happy news. While their teammates were congratulating them boisterously, the bar's owners, Ray and Jose, sauntered over.

In his singsong voice, Jose twittered, "What is this that we overheard?"

Ryan grinned widely as she replied, "We're gonna be mommas, guys!"

Jose's hands flew dramatically to his mouth as he screamed, "Oh my God! A baby... my babies are having a baby!"

He parked himself next to Janna, knowing better than to try to sit between the devoted women, and said, "I want to hear all about it, honey."

As his mate began to happily receive the details of the conception, Ray said, "Ryan, congratulations...I think this calls for another round on the house. If you and Janna keep up with this habit of bringing your celebrations here, you will eventually run us broke!"

Ryan grinned as she said, "Where else would we take our celebrations, Ray? Yours is the only gay bar in town." At his mock hurt look, she added, "And there is no place in town where we would rather go. Thanks, buddy." Her warm smile pulled even at his tough heart strings.

A short time later, the band that was appearing, having been told of Janna's presence, asked her to play a few numbers with them. As usual, she took the stage somewhat reluctantly, and at the loud encouragement of the bar's patrons and her friends, but went on to blow everyone away. They played three classic rock songs, with Janna taking over the lead guitar part, and Ryan was as proud as always of her mate, as well as incredibly turned on. A fine time was had by all until late into the night, and even Sharon, the Master Sergeant, lightened up and had a good time.

Later, at home, Ryan gave Janna a fairly good idea of just how turned on she had become while watching her play guitar.

-10-

Four weeks later, Early June

Janna bent over her task, and pulled up another clump of stubborn Bermuda grass. She idly tossed it into the pile behind her and sat back, wiping her brow with the back of her gloved hand. She lazily reached for her bottle of spring water and took a healthy swig.

The late afternoon sun burned down upon her, the sleeveless t-shirt and cut-off shorts she wore offering little protection from its intensity. She savored the lukewarm water as it slid down her parched throat. It's not even summer yet and already nearly one hundred degrees. It's gonna be a miserable summer for this pregnant lady, I'm afraid. She shook her head, but grinned; joyous at the prospect of her developing pregnancy, despite the discomfort that she knew was in store for her.

"Hi."

Janna looked up, startled from her musing by the sweet young voice that greeted her, and spied a toddler on the other side of the fence, in the next yard.

"Hi! What's your name?" Janna smiled at the adorable brown-haired, brown-eyed tot of approximately three years of age.

"Michaela...but Mommy and Daddy call me Micki."

"Well, I'm happy to meet you, Michaela. My name is Janna."

"What cha' doing?" The little girl asked as she peered curiously through the split-rail fence.

"I'm pulling out weeds so that I can plant flowers here."

"Oh..." Just then, her mother called to her from the front porch. "I'm over here, Mommy."

As her mother, a slim, attractive brunette approached, Janna stood and wiped the dirt from her shorts and knees.

"Michaela, go on in the house now. It's time for dinner."

"'Kay...bye Janna."

"Goodbye, Michaela." Janna smiled as the young girl trotted dutifully toward her house and turned her gaze to the girl's mother. "Welcome to the neighborhood...I'm Janna Norden-Zamora."

The woman frowned and then scowled at Janna. "I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to my daughter again. If you do so, I will call the police. If we had known there were your kind on the block, we never would have moved here." With that, she turned on her heel and left a stunned Janna looking after her. Her shock quickly turned to sorrow, and she blew out a breath as she rested her hands on her hips and shook her head sadly.

As she stood there with the sun burning down upon her relentlessly, her sorrow turned to anger at the woman's narrow-mindedness, and what the fact of her prejudice bode for her little girl. She scowled as she bent to retrieve her gardening tools. The woman's hatred had given her a sour stomach, which had, in turn, reawakened the nausea that her physical activity had held at bay for nearly a blessed hour.

After returning the tools to the garage and dumping the weeds in the trash can, Janna made her way to the kitchen to retrieve a small snack of crackers and cheese, hoping that it would settle her upset stomach. She then made her way into the family room and picked up her black Stratocaster, aiming to relieve the stress she was feeling.

She plugged the jack into the guitar and flipped the power switch on the amplifier, pausing to adjust the volume controls. Through the open front window, she could hear her unpleasant neighbor, and glanced out to see her in the side yard, talking on a cordless phone. Janna smiled wickedly and turned both the master and volume controls on the amp to full blast, and did the same with the knobs on the guitar's body.

As she pulled the guitar strap over her shoulder, the motion caused a surge of vibrating feedback, which crescendoed loudly, especially when Janna pushed the instrument up against the amp. The resulting screech of feedback, pleasing to her accustomed ears, startled her neighbor, whose eyes grew wide as she looked toward Janna's house.

Janna pulled the guitar away and then thrust it again toward the amp, increasing the warbling sound, before grabbing a pick and raking it down across the strings and hitting a power chord. She then launched into a speed metal rendition of one of her songs, pleased beyond measure at the neighbor's look of dismay and distaste. She watched as the woman covered her left ear with her hand and hurried into her house.

After the unfriendly woman's departure, Janna continued with her stress-relieving exercise, which had the added benefit of taking her mind off of the ever-present nausea, transporting her to place beyond which the discomfort didn't seem to pass.

As Ryan exited her truck and locked it, she could her the pounding, booming guitar and smiled briefly. But then she felt a renewed surge of her partner's unhappiness. Shit, she is upset. I guess that is what I felt a while ago. She strode purposefully into the kitchen and set her bag and keys on the counter before making her way to the front room.

Her wife stood right in front of the amplifier, apparently enjoying the vibrations that were being emitted. Though her back was to the door, Janna felt Ryan's presence and therefore was not startled when long arms wrapped themselves around her from behind. She smiled and leaned back against her mate, continuing to play, but quickly turning the guitar's volume to a more comfortable level for her mate.

Ryan kissed her hair and mumbled, "What, or whom, are you pissed at, baby?"

Janna raked out one more sequence of power chords and let the feedback reverberate through the room before stilling the strings and shutting the power down. She lifted the strap over her head and set the instrument back onto its stand before facing her mate.

She kissed Ryan and replied, "Hi, sweetheart. I met the new neighbor and her little girl a while ago. She not very politely indicated that she doesn't want 'my kind' interacting with her daughter."

"Oh, fuck. Baby, I'm sorry." Ryan shook her head and pulled Janna into an embrace. "Jesus...that's pathetic."

"Yeah...sweet little girl, too. Her name is Michaela." Janna reveled in her partner's warmth and strength and let Ryan's abundant love for her wrap itself around her, soothing her frayed nerves. "You feel good, love. Thank you...I needed that."

She kissed the dark blue uniform shirt below her lips. "You're a little early today."

"I felt you...thought you might be upset. I wanted to get right home."

"Honey...thank you. I hope I didn't distract you at an inopportune moment." Janna looked up at her with concern.

"Nope, I'm learning how to deal with the feelings when they come across." She grinned down at her wife. "How are you feeling otherwise?"

"Lousy. I wish this so-called morning sickness would confine itself to the mornings. I think I could deal with it better if it would."

"So do I, love. I wish there was something that I could do."

"You help with your presence, Ryan. Believe me. And you're very good at finding ways to distract me." She grinned jauntily up at her wife, who returned the grin just as jauntily.

"Glad I can oblige you, baby. Anything along those lines I can do for you right now...possibly in the spa?" Her brilliant blue eyes sparkled under raised eyebrows.

"There just might be. Why don't you show me what you have in mind"?

~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, yes...that was soooo nice, my love. Thank you." Janna sighed and smiled as she lazed against Ryan in the spa. She was still throbbing gently, and very pleasantly, and let her satiated state soothe her, body and soul.

"My pleasure, Janna. So glad I could oblige." Ryan drawled lazily as she ran her hands lovingly along Janna's torso. She brought her hands down to the slight bulge in her wife's belly and caressed it gently.

"You're starting to show, baby." She mumbled in Janna's ear.

"Mm, hm. This morning I noticed that my shorts were tight, too. I'm gonna have to start thinking about getting some maternity clothes, I guess."

"Either that or you can wear mine."

"I think I like that idea. I love to wear your clothes...especially when I'm missing you. They smell like you."

"Hm, is that good or bad?" Ryan smiled against Janna's neck.

"Oh, it's very good!" Janna turned her head a little and breathed deeply of her mate's scent. "I love the way you smell."

"Good. You can start wearing them right away, 'cause I found out today that John and I will be working some extra shifts over the next week or so."

"Oh, why?"

"We'll be providing extra backup for a vice/narc sting op." She blew out a breath. "I don't like working vice, but since we're the most senior bike team, they want us for our experience. Hopefully, it'll go down soon and I won't have to work too many nights. I don't like your being here alone at night."

"Honey, it sounds dangerous. Not that your everyday patrol isn't dangerous, but this sounds more so."

"Well, sweetheart, I won't lie to you...there is more risk in it than in everyday beat patrol, but honestly, Janna, these things are planned down to the nth degree. Don't worry about it, honey. Anyway, we're acting in a backup capacity...we won't be on the front line."

"Vice, huh? You've mentioned before that you don't like vice."

"I hate it, frankly. They always wanted to use me as a john decoy, and Jesus, I hate that. But also, I hated having to hassle the working girls...and busting young gay guys for hustling. It's a very depressing detail. That and narcotics." She shook her head in disgust.

"And this is both vice and narcotics?"

"Mm." Ryan nodded.

"Must be quite some ring someone has going."

"I think it's the biggest we've ever infiltrated. This is a multi-agency operation, county-wide. We start Saturday night." Ryan felt Janna's trepidation and moved to soothe it. "Janna, baby, you know how safe I am out there...how careful I am...especially now that I have so much to come home to." She wrapped her arms tightly around her wife. "Please don't worry."

"I know, love. But I need to be honest and tell you that I can't help but worry. Until you're safe at home in my arms, I'll be nervous." A nervous wreck is more like it.

"Okay, baby. Just don't let it get out of hand...too much worry isn't good for the baby." She grinned before adding, "I read once where some scientist theorized that too much stress during pregnancy causes homosexuality."

"Oh, God...how horrible...we wouldn't want that terrible fate to befall our child, would we?" Janna remarked sarcastically.

Ryan gently encouraged Janna to turn in her lap and she drawled sexily, "Mm, no, we wouldn't. Kiss your wife again, lady."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan groaned in her sleep as she experienced the blow of the weapon. Her own weapon. The round, razor-sharp weapon hit her in the back with such force that it knocked her to the ground. She knew immediately that it was over...that the weapon had broken her back, and she slid to the ground. Her soulmate, her warrior-bard, was nearby, fighting off her own small legion of soldiers when she saw the weapon take flight and strike her partner in the back.

As she lay on the ground, unable to move, the warrior watched in a daze as her mate stood dumbfounded, then rushed to her side and began fending off the advancing soldiers, protecting her mate as the warrior had always protected her.

As she frantically fought off one advancing soldier after another, the smaller warrior yelled, "Xena...let's go!" She had picked up her mate's sword and was wielding it impressively, though unfamiliar with it. As she fought valiantly she glanced at her partner on the ground and screamed, "Get up!"

The warrior answered, "Can't...my spine. I can't move." The dark warrior, unable to stand, lay on her stomach, watching her bard fight. When she saw that her partner was killing men furiously, in a blind rage, she felt a measure of dismay and yelled, "No, Gabrielle. No!"

Just before she lost consciousness, she felt a sharp pang of self-hatred for setting her gentle mate on the violent road on which she now walked.

She came to some time later and found herself resting in her partner's arms. She noted that both she and the bard were dressed only in rags, which barely preserved their modesty. Her mate was sitting on the ground in a dark, stinking cell and was holding her broken body tenderly in her arms.

"Gabrielle." The dark woman whispered.

"Xena." Her partner answered before leaning down and tenderly kissing her. As she gazed at her fallen mate, tears streaked down her cheeks.

"Crying? Don't cry." Her warrior whispered.

"Okay."

They gazed at each other quietly, not needing to speak, when a man approached their cell and called gruffly, "It's almost time."

They gazed deeply into each other's eyes and the warrior felt heartsick at destroying her beloved's life before her world darkened and she lost consciousness again.

Ryan gazed solemnly into her cup of decaffeinated coffee. The images from the dream, and their apparent implication, were weighing heavily on her. She had not told Janna about the dream. They had shared their regular morning connection but had not made love, because Janna was too ill, so her partner had not had the opportunity to realize that anything was bothering her mate. Now they sat quietly at their kitchen table, neither wanting to burden the other with her worries.

Janna assumed that Ryan's mind was on her stakeout duties in the sting operation scheduled for later that night, and Ryan had no intention of adding to Janna's worries while she was in such a delicate state. So they sat; close but separated by fear and worry.

Janna took a sip of her herbal tea and gazed at her mate. Ryan's brow was creased with tension, and she reached out through their link and tried to ease her worry. Ryan looked up sharply at the contact and smiled crookedly as she said, "Thanks, baby, but you don't have to do that. I'm fine and I know you don't feel well."

"I want to do it, Ryan, and will whenever I feel that you need it."

Ryan smiled at her mate, then stood and drained her cup. After walking to the sink and dropping it in, she returned to Janna's side and knelt beside her. "Let me give you a little Reiki before I leave, love."

Janna smiled weakly and nodded. "Thanks."

Ryan gazed into her eyes and softly said, "Don't mention it." Then she gently placed her hands on Janna's abdomen and began sharing the healing energy with her. After several minutes, she felt that Janna had received what she needed and removed her hands before standing. She moved behind her mate and, laying her still-warm hands on her shoulders, bent and kissed her head.

"I love you, Janna. Take it easy today, love. Please."

"I will, Ryan. Days that start out like this have a way of not improving much."

"I'm sorry, baby." Then she added, with frustration tingeing her voice, "God, I'm sorry I agreed to do this extra duty...I won't see you until the middle of the night again."

"Honey, it's okay. And you know you didn't have much choice in the matter. I'll be fine. If I feel better, I'm going to Dan and Kris' for dinner."

"Okay, baby." She stood for a moment, not wanting to leave her mate, or to lose contact with her.

Janna sensed her reluctance and felt the sharp stab of anguish that her wife had tried to hide from her all morning. She reached up and grasped Ryan's hand, which was lying on her shoulder, and pulled her around in front of her.

Concern colored her voice and etched her face as she said, "Ryan, you're very worried about something. Is it the stakeout?"

Ryan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew she couldn't hide anything from Janna, and had never lied to her, but didn't want her to worry excessively. She looked away from her mate's concerned gaze and stared at the floor. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"I thought you said that everything was going as planned and that you were bored out of your mind the first two nights."

"It is, baby...I was, it's just..." Ryan faltered, unused to lying, especially to Janna. An unwelcome image of herself as the mortally wounded warrior flashed through her mind just then, and she couldn't stop the pain that pierced her soul. I caused her death in that life.

Janna, very perceptive even when their link wasn't involved, felt the anguish quite clearly and gasped. "Ryan, there's something you're not telling me."

Shit. "Janna, I just hate this extra work detail, that's all. I need to be home, taking care of you."

Janna gazed seriously at her and Ryan averted her gaze again. Janna knew then that she was lying and tried to swallow the pain that the knowledge caused. "Ryan, please don't lie to me. Please...tell me what's going on."

Ryan rubbed her tired eyes with her hand and blew out a breath. "Janna, it's nothing. I just had a bad dream last night and didn't sleep well. I don't want you worrying about it."

"A bad dream? A warrior dream?" Janna questioned.

Ryan turned away, running her hands through her hair and sighed. "Jesus...yes, a warrior dream. Janna, I need to get to the station."

Janna stood and walked around to face her wife. "Ryan, it was a past-life memory, and I want to hear about it."

Fuck! "Janna, it's not important...I'm just tired. I don't want you worrying about it," she repeated.

"Ryan Norden-Zamora, I'm sorry, but I decide what I will and will not be concerned about. Please share this with me. Your refusing to share this and lying about it is what is worrying me." She used her unfair advantage then, and reached out to Ryan through their bond.

As Ryan felt her wife's love surround her heart, she groaned. "Shit, Janna, that is so not fair. You know I can't refuse you anything when I'm feeling your love."

Janna reached out and wrapped her arms around Ryan's waist, resting them on her officer's utility belt. "We share everything, Ryan. Everything. Remember your vow to me."

Double fuck... "Come 'ere." She sat on a kitchen chair and pulled Janna onto her lap. After taking a deep breath she sighed, "I was wounded...in battle...and it led to our deaths on the crosses."

"You were wounded in battle?" Janna gazed at her seriously, wide-eyed. Then as the realization struck, her eyes filled with terror. "Ryan, you don't think..."

"I'm trying not to think about it, Janna." She gazed intently into Janna's worried green eyes. "I can't be afraid out there and still do my job. No cop can." She sighed again. "All I can do is treat this like a warning and use it to be extra careful."

"But Ryan, you're always careful...you're already careful. Baby, I don't want..."

"Janna, do you see why I didn't want to share this with you? You don't need this extra worry, and neither does the baby."

"Ryan...for God's sake...I have the right to know what is going on! This involves me...Jesus, Ryan, anything involving you involves me. Don't shut me out!"

Ryan felt Janna's pain then, and could have kicked herself for causing it. She reached forward and pulled Janna against her. "You're right, Janna. You have every right. I was just trying to protect you...I'm sorry." She looked down into sad, green eyes. "I love you more than anything...more than life...I'm so sorry." She kissed her wife's forehead and rested her cheek against it.

"Ryan, please don't love me more than life. I need for you to want to live more than you want anything else...do that for me, please?"

"Okay, because I want your happiness more than I want anything else...and that's as good a promise as you're gonna get out of me."

"I'll take it. Thank you, Ryan."

Ryan accepted the thank you with a sweet kiss and they sat together for several minutes, quietly sharing their love.

~~~~~~~~~~

As she sat on the stoop of a vacant building, Ryan glanced briefly up at the moon and looked back down at the luminous dial of her watch. 2:15. She idly wondered if Janna was sleeping peacefully or if she was stubbornly waiting up for her. She smiled, knowing the answer. She glanced over at her partner, John, and said, "Well, bud, it's looks like a bust again tonight...or should I say, 'non bust'?"

"Non bust it is, Ry. Shit...I wish they'd get their act together. I have someplace I'd much rather be this time of night."

Ryan laughed quietly, "Shit...you and me both."

John Stewart grinned at his best friend, being all too familiar with her personal life.

"So, how's the baby, John? Still feeding twice at night?"

"Still is, yep...and growing like a weed. He sure likes that Momma's milk." He glanced at his partner as he added, "I hate like hell not to be there to help Sara at night...she's exhausted." At Ryan's nod he added, "How's Janna doing?"

"She's still sick most of the time, but managing to keep most of her meals down...thank God." She smiled. "Stubborn woman...the last two stakeout nights, she waited up for me."

"I hope you made it worth her while."

"Goddamn right I did." Ryan grinned widely, white teeth flashing in the streetlight. Hell, he doesn't have to know we cuddled ourselves to sleep.

Suddenly, the quiet of the night was shattered by a barrage of gunshots and both cops jumped to their feet. A split second later, their radios erupted into frenzied communication. The two cops listened intently, listening for orders or word about what was happening and heard the most dreaded words a cop can hear: "Officer down! Officer down! Corner of Eighth and B."

As Ryan and John stared at each other, near shock, their orders came: the suspects that had fired on their fellow officers were fleeing in a dark, late-model car and the pursuit was coming right toward them. They were to attempt to apprehend, with lethal force if necessary. Both Ryan and John made the decision to stay on foot, as that would allow for better shots, and the patrol cars already involved in the chase would be much more capable of continuing if necessary.

As they took their positions behind parked cars on opposite sides of the street, they could hear the sirens approaching, accompanied by squealing tires and roaring engines. A block straight up the street, a late model sedan raced toward them, lights off, followed by several patrol cars with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

Ryan and John each spared a quick glance at the other and nodded slightly as they trained their weapons on the approaching car. Since she was on the driver's side of the street, Ryan took aim at the driver, while John aimed at the car's tires. They had to wait until the last possible moment, to get the best angle and to prevent shots from going astray and into their comrades who were right behind the suspect car, while not waiting until the car exactly paralleled their positions, as they would risk hitting each other at that point.

When the car was nearly upon them, they both opened fire. John's shots cleanly took out the right side tires and Ryan hit the driver several times. As the car careened by them, beginning to spin, Ryan saw a passenger in the front seat attempt to gain control of the vehicle. She couldn't get any more shots off without endangering her partner, so she followed the car on foot as it slid into an alleyway a few doors down, still spinning.

She ran after the car, her speed taking her ahead of her partner, and entered the alley. It dead ended ahead at a wide loading zone behind a warehouse, and the dark car spun around haphazardly and headed back out of the alley. Right toward Ryan. She set herself in the firing position and fired, getting off two shots. Both shots hit the suspect and he slumped onto his fallen companion on the front seat, causing the car to lurch wildly. It slammed into the brick building that bordered the alley and before even her quick reflexes could get her out of the way, it bounced back into the alley and careened into Ryan. She knew only a brief instant of fear before she was hit, and a single thought flashed across her mind: Janna.

Janna was sitting in bed, attempting to read, but kept nodding off. As her chin hit her chest again, she sat upright and scowled, upset with herself for being tired. She wanted to be awake when Ryan returned. She glanced at the clock. 2:20. She smiled as she remembered that her mate had returned at around 2:30 each of the other two nights.

She decided to get a bottle of water and as she swung her feet to the floor was hit by a strong jolt of fear, followed by a stabbing pain in the chest. She doubled over as she heard Ryan's voice whisper, "Janna."

-11-

Just as John entered the alleyway, he heard Ryan's gunshots and saw the suspect car crash into the building. He watched in horror as the car caromed off the wall and slammed into his partner. Her body was hurled through the air and bounced once, landing with a sickening thud nearly at his feet. The car came to rest against the opposite side of the alleyway, engine and tires smoking, its occupants unmoving.

As he dropped to his knees beside his fallen partner, he screamed into his uniform radio, "Officer down! Officer down! In the alley near Eighth and F...behind the warehouse. Officer down!" As he finished the call, several of the cops who had been pursuing ran up to aid Ryan, while several others checked the status of the suspects.

John looked down at his partner's crumpled form and his stomach lurched as he was gripped by horror. She was lying on her stomach, unconscious and bleeding from head and leg wounds. Her left leg was twisted unnaturally under her, as was her right arm. He tore off his shirt and covered her as he screamed, "Where's the fucking ambulance!"

A fellow cop laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and said, "En route, John. Hang on." Two other cops knelt beside Ryan and laid comforting hands gently on her still form. John sat next to her and held the hand of her least injured arm.

"She's alive...pulse is weak," said one of the cops, a woman, as she gently checked Ryan's carotid artery.

Another said, "Make sure the ambulance has access...and make sure they look at her first."

"She's first anyway, Lt. The perps are DOA," said another cop as he walked away from the wrecked car. "She nailed them good."

The group of cops surrounding their fallen friend all nodded, satisfied, and then the ambulances arrived, followed by several fire trucks. The paramedics from the closest unit jumped from the truck, rushed to Ryan's side, and began offering life support. The other cops moved away, but John stayed as close to her as he could.

The scene became almost surreal to him as they worked over his friend. As he watched them carefully turn his partner over and rip her shirt open, gingerly removing her bullet-proof vest, his heart was beating furiously, his head pounded, and he had to remind himself to take even breaths. While one medic took her vital signs, another cut off her pants, revealing a badly mangled leg, with bone protruding in two places.

The lights from the many emergency vehicles cast the scene in an eerie glow, with the flashing lights painting the people, buildings and trash bins in the alley with an almost strobe-like effect. Residents of the seedy hotels and apartments above the alley looked on from open windows and fire escapes.

As John observed them, the actions of the medics took on an almost slow-motion effect and he suddenly felt very disconnected: almost as if he had left his body. He vaguely heard what was being said, but none of it registered until he heard, "Backboard" and, "Possible internal injuries." With that, he was shaken back to reality and realized that someone was speaking to him.

He looked up and saw his Captain, Sam. As he stood to face him, the senior officer said, "Stewart...how is she?"

He shook his head, as if to wake himself up. "I don't know, Cap. Pretty bad, I think." He swallowed hard and looked back down as the paramedics gently rolled Ryan onto a backboard, with a third carefully holding her neck. "Jesus." Tears sprang to his eyes and one rolled down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. "Bastards...fucking bastards."

Sam reached out and pulled John by the arm, away from his partner. "John, you stay with her...go in the ambulance. I'm going to go get Janna. I'll have my wife meet us at the hospital."

John nodded dumbly and Sam wasn't sure he had been heard, but then the fair-haired cop looked him in the eye and said, "Will do, Cap. Will you have someone call my wife, too?"

"Done, Stewart. I'll see you there." He looked down at his friend's battered, still form and shook his head as he mumbled, "Son of a fucking bitch." He looked back up at John pointedly and added, "You keep her with us."

"All right, Captain."

"Ryan!" Janna quickly realized that the pain she felt was coming through her link with her mate. She jumped up from the bed and screamed her wife's name again. The initial sharp pain she had experienced was replaced by a dull ache and tears began streaming from her eyes. She felt like she had been punched in the chest. She could feel Ryan's warmth, so she knew she was still alive, but the ache was much stronger than the usual warm glow, and her mate felt somehow far away.

"Ryan, Ryan...oh God, Ryan." She began to pace, not knowing what to do. She was growing numb and the strong feeling that Ryan was hurt was becoming overpowering. While she was still able to think coherently, she picked up the phone and dialed the station. She got an unfamiliar operator and in a strained voice said, "I need to reach Officer Ryan Norden-Zamora. She's on special duty tonight...is there any way you can put me through, or get a message to her?"

There was a pause before the female dispatcher spoke. "Is this Mrs. Norden-Zamora?"

"Yes."

"Mrs. Norden-Zamora, are you home?"

"Yes...oh, God...what's happened?"

"I have no information on that, ma'am. I will relay your message."

"Please...has something happened to my wife? I know something is wrong...I can feel it...please." She implored the hapless dispatcher.

"Ma'am, I'm very sorry but I have no information for you."

Janna could only sob quietly and clicked off the phone. As she stood trying to think of who else she could call, the doorbell rang.

"No...oh, God, no..." She numbly walked down the hall and down the stairs, nearly paralyzed by fear. As she reached the door, she saw though the stained glass the distorted form of their friend Sam. She was gripped by terror as she reached for the dead bolt, and her hand shook almost uncontrollably as she began to swallow convulsively. When she swung the door open and saw the grief-stricken look on Sam's face, she lost control.

She fell into Sam's arms and sobbed, "Sam, what's happened? Please...I know something has happened. I called the station but they wouldn't tell me anything."

Sam gently gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Janna, you need to be strong. She's been hurt."

"Oh, God, no," she wailed. "Sam, is she alive? Please tell me she's alive." She implored him with red, swollen eyes.

He nodded, "Yes, she's alive, but it's not good, Janna. Let's get to the hospital." He guided her by the arm to the stairs. "Come on now, get dressed. I'll wait here."

Janna looked down at herself. She had forgotten that she wore only a long t-shirt. One of Ryan's shirts. Suddenly, she felt extremely faint and sagged against the banister. Sam rushed to her side and helped her up the stairs. He walked her into the master bedroom and sat her on the bed.

"Janna, where are your clothes?" He asked softly. She looked dumbly at him and then shook her head and pointed to a rocking chair. On it sat a pair of jeans and on the floor in front of it, two pair of Birkenstock sandals, one sized seven, one sized ten. At the sight of Ryan's shoes, she dropped her head into her hands and was wracked by deep sobs.

Sam approached and firmly said, "Janna...you need to be strong for her. Can you do that? We all need to be strong. Now, I need you to get dressed so we can go see her. Come on, Janna. Georgie is meeting us there."

Janna took a deep, shuddering breath and looked up at Ryan's friend and Captain. She nodded her head and said, "Okay, Sam. For her. I'll try to be strong for her," and she stood up.

"Good, Janna. Get dressed, hon."

Janna nodded and went to the dresser, where she pulled out a pair of underwear and a bra. Sam turned his back when she started to pull them on. Just a minute later, he was guiding her back down the stairs.

When they got to the downstairs hallway, he halted them and asked, "Papers, Janna. You have papers, don't you? For emergencies?"

"Yes...in my office. I'll get them." She returned a moment later holding a large envelope and looked so sadly up at him that Sam thought his heart might break. As her tears fell anew, Janna sobbed, "We prayed that we would never have to use these."

"I know, Janna, but it's good that you have them. Now there should be no problems."

Janna nodded and took a deep breath. As she picked up her backpack from the hall table she said, "Let's go Sam. Take me to her."

John watched the medics load his best friend into the ambulance and climbed in after her. The doors were slammed shut and the unit took off, quickly gaining speed and rushing through the empty streets of the city.

He watched quietly as the paramedic continued to look after his friend. He listened as the man made the radio call informing the hospital of her injuries and their estimated time of arrival, wincing as the man said, "Head injury, double compound leg fracture, dislocated shoulder, possible internal bleeding...BP is falling."

Dear Jesus, God, all the spirits that Ryan believes in...please look after my friend. She has so much to live for...please. Amen.

As he prayed silently, tears fell unrestrained from his eyes and he gently grasped Ryan's left hand. He gazed quietly at her battered body. Her head and leg were bandaged and bloody, her uniform and bra had been ripped and cut away and she already had various tubes stuck in her body, delivering vital fluids. He gingerly reached down and carefully pulled the thin sheet up, trying to protect her modesty, even though he knew that she possessed none. Suddenly, he was filled with the love that he felt for his friend and began to speak to her softly, imploring her to hang on and to fight.

"You can beat this, Ry. Be strong for Janna...be strong for your baby. They need you." As he said her wife's name, John thought that he detected a faint movement of her eyelids. He repeated, "Janna needs you, Ryan." The faint movement repeated. "Yes! Ry, I saw that...hang on my friend. Hang on. I love you, buddy...fight for me."

When the paramedic had finished his radio call, John looked at him and quietly asked, "Will she make it, Joe?"

"If anyone can, it's her, John. I swear to God, she's the strongest woman I've ever known. She beats the shit out of me every time our team plays hers." He looked down at Ryan and back up at the machine monitoring her vital signs. "It's pretty bad, though John." He shook his head sadly. "God dammit...it's hard when it's one of us."

"At least she took out the pricks that did it." John muttered, his voice a mixture of anger and pride.

"Did she? Good for her. Good for her." He nodded as he prepared another bag of IV fluid.

~~~~~~~~~~

During the short drive to the hospital, Sam kept a vigil on Janna's state. She sat unmoving, stoically trying not to break down. He found himself wishing he could say something to ease her mind, but he couldn't come up with anything, so he remained quiet. He had seen Ryan...he knew how badly injured she was.

Suddenly, Janna spoke quietly, in a determined voice. "Sam, tell me what happened."

He briefly considered hedging, putting it off until they reached the hospital, but realized that she deserved to know. He knew that he would certainly expect to be told the truth if something similar had happened to his wife.

Without preamble, he began, "She was on foot, chasing suspects fleeing in a car. They had fired on two officers...one of them is down, too. She followed them into an alley, took them out, but the car crashed into her. She was thrown quite a distance I guess." He glanced quickly at Janna and then back to the street.

"What are her injuries, Sam?"

"Janna, I'm not sure...the ambulance got there right away and I left to get you before they took off."

"Sam, tell me what you saw." Janna pinned him with a pointed stare.

"She was unconscious, Janna. She looked to have head and leg injuries...possibly more."

"What do you mean, 'more'?"

"They were loading her onto a backboard...but that's pretty standard, Janna." When he saw her flinch in pain, he added, "She's getting the best possible care and she's got a whole lot of people pulling for her, Janna. I don't think there is a more popular cop in the entire department."

As he looked at Janna he saw her close her eyes and swallow hard and her tears began to flow again, silently, as her lips began to move in prayer.

Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Great Spirit, Jesus, Buddha...please look after my wife. Keep her in your loving protection and give her the strength she needs to fight this and return to me. Thank you. Amen and Aho.

Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Great Spirit, Jesus, Buddha...please look after my wife. Keep her in your loving protection and give her the strength she needs to fight this and return to me. Thank you. Amen and Aho.

Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Great Spirit, Jesus, Buddha...please look after my wife. Keep her in your loving protection and give her the strength she needs to fight this and return to me. Thank you. Amen and Aho...The silent prayer continued until they reached the hospital.

The Captain pulled up into the ambulance bay and Janna vaguely noted that there were dozens of emergency and police vehicles parked around the emergency entrance to the hospital...many either haphazardly or double-parked or parked in restricted zones. Sam parked his unmarked department car between an ambulance and a fire truck and he and Janna hurried into the waiting room.

Janna was completely unprepared for what she encountered when they entered the emergency department. There were peace officers, dozens and dozens of them, of every possible persuasion, milling about everywhere. And they all looked up, seemingly as one, when she entered the area. Their hearts ached at the sight of the small, cute woman in the over-sized "Police" t-shirt and faded jeans.

Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder and whispered, "They're all here for Ryan, Janna. Every last one of them."

Janna stopped and looked at the ceiling, unable to handle the emotion that overcame her at that moment. It passed though, when Ryan's partner rushed to meet her and scooped her into his arms.

"Janna."

"John," Janna cried as she lay her head on his shoulder. She looked up into his eyes and croaked, "How is she?"

"She's hanging on, Janna. They won't let me in there...they're still working on her. We should tell them that you're here."

"Let's go." She stopped and remembered Sam, then, and grabbed his hand. "Thank you, Sam."

"Go take care of her, Janna. If you need anything, Georgie's on her way. "

"Thanks, Sam."

John led Janna down the clean, white hallway to the triage nurse's desk. An officious looking middle-aged woman dressed in blue scrubs was on the phone there and looked up as they approached. She held up her finger as John started to speak. "All right," she said. "I'll handle it at this end." She hung up the phone and looked expectantly at them.

"This is Officer Norden-Zamora's next of kin."

The woman looked at Janna. "You're family?"

"I'm her wife and her legal next of kin...and I have power of attorney as well."

"Do you have the documents? Because, unfortunately, until this State recognizes same sex marriage, you don't have many legal rights here. I'm sorry."

Janna shoved the large envelope at her and said impatiently, "They're all in here...may I see her?"

The woman took the envelope and quickly scanned its contents. "Okay, these seem to be in order...I'm sorry, you can't see her yet...she's still being treated."

"How is she?"

"The doctor will be out as soon as there is anything to tell you. In the meantime, I have some forms for you to fill out." She thrust a clipboard at Janna, but John intercepted it.

"Look, these can wait...let her see her wife."

She looked sharply at John and then turned her gaze to Janna. "I'm sorry, but no one can be in there while the trauma team is working, and we really do need her medical history from you."

John handed the clipboard to Janna. "She'll fill that one out, but the rest can wait...please tell the doctors that Ryan's spouse is here."

"I'll do that, Officer."

"Right now, please." He pinned her with a fixed stare.

The woman looked pointedly at him, as if she were wondering just who the hell he thought he was, but Janna's soft plea of, "Please," swayed her and she left the desk and walked down the hallway.

John placed his hand on Janna's back and said, "Come on," and they followed the nurse. She turned into a bay marked, "Trauma 2," and they stopped just outside the door. John cautiously poked his head around the corner and looked into the room. He saw a battalion of doctors and nurses surrounding a gurney. All he could see of Ryan was one arm hanging over the side and one of her feet. The team was working frantically, but he saw one of the doctors look up toward the doorway after the nurse spoke to him.

The doctor spoke briefly to a colleague and then made his way out into the hallway, pulling off bloody gloves before exiting the room and tossing them into a receptacle.

He spoke to John. "You're Officer Zamora's next of kin?"

Before John could speak, Janna said, "I'm Officer Norden-Zamora's wife."

The doctor seemed stymied, but only for a second, before he got down to business. "Does she have any medication allergies or pre-existing conditions?"

Janna shook her head. "No."

"Any previous surgeries or injuries?"

"None."

"All right, good. She sustained compound fractures of her left leg and ankle, has several broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung, a severe concussion, and we suspect internal injuries, because we can't keep her blood pressure up. We're trying to stabilize her enough to get her into surgery. We'll need you to sign a surgical release."

"Okay...anything."

The doctor looked at the triage nurse. "Sylvia, get that form for ..." He looked questioningly at Janna, "Mrs. Norden-Zamora?" At Janna's nod, he continued, "For Mrs. Norden-Zamora, so we can take her wife up to surgery."

The nurse nodded and left. The doctor then looked at Janna and added, "I think we'll be able to stabilize her enough to get her into surgery, but it's still touch and go...until we know what the extent of the internal injuries are, I can't tell you much more."

Janna nodded and said, "Okay, thank you, doctor."

He nodded and hurried back into the trauma room and Janna collapsed against John's side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her back to the triage desk, but not before she spared a quick glance into the trauma room and murmured, "Hang on baby...I'm here. I love you, Ryan."

Ryan floated on a cloud of white-hot pain. She vaguely felt Janna's presence through the pain-filled haze and that was all she needed. She didn't attempt to feel anything else. That was all she needed and she allowed the black to seep back in and overtake her consciousness again. But not before the fuzzy thought fought its way out of her foggy brain: Love you too, baby.

-12-

John led Janna back to the large waiting room. She briefly recalled that the last time she had been there, she had been the patient and it had been Ryan who had sat waiting for word on her condition. It was the night that they had met, nearly one year earlier, and Ryan had driven her there to have her assault injuries treated.

Ryan told her later that she had fallen in love with Janna instantly...in fact while she was still sitting on the sidewalk after the beating. Janna, in turn, had admitted that she had realized her love for Ryan the instant the cop had gently touched her face to peer at her injury...while she sat on the sidewalk after the beating. Lord, Jesus...she can't die. We're only just beginning our life together. I need her...her baby needs her. Please, Jesus, please...

As she sat silently praying and imploring the Universe to save her soulmate, cop after cop, firefighter after firefighter, paramedic after paramedic approached her and offered their support. Most of them simply nodded and touched her hands. Very few of them could come up with appropriate words, but Janna appreciated that. She needed their support, not their pity, and she didn't feel up to having to speak with any of them. She simply nodded her appreciation to each one. She knew many of them, in passing at least, from the Peace Officer's Softball League. She had, in fact, watched her wife strike almost all of them out at one time or another.

John left briefly to use the phone. He had called his wife, their close friend Sara, earlier and wanted to update her. He knew she wouldn't be sleeping; that she would be terribly worried and waiting for word. They had a month-old son who most likely would be keeping her up anyway.

While John was gone, Sam's wife Georgia arrived. She rushed to her younger friend and wordlessly embraced her as she sat beside her.

"Janna, how is she?" Her concerned brown eyes conveyed her depth of compassion for Janna and Ryan.

"They don't know yet, Georgie. She has some broken bones and a concussion, and they suspect internal injuries. They're trying to stabilize her now for emergency surgery."

Georgie closed her eyes in pain and sighed. "Honey, can we send her Reiki? Are you up to it?" Georgie had become an enthusiastic student of Janna's several months earlier after witnessing the Norden-Zamoras' healing of one of her son's severe insect stings, and had recently attained the second degree of the healing art.

"I hadn't thought of that, Georgie...I've been too upset. Let's give it a try...though I don't know how effective I'll be." Janna gazed at her friend with green eyes dulled by grief.

Georgie nodded and hugged Janna briefly before setting herself to the task of visualizing the healing symbols and sending the energy on its way.

As she and her friend sent the powerful, loving energy to her mate, Janna felt connected to Ryan for the first time in the half hour since she had been injured, and it served to soothe her own aching heart center. It was reassuring to again feel Ryan's familiar warmth, if only just a spark of it. Along with the Reiki, which flowed from her palms, Janna sent her love to her mate through their heart chakra link. She visualized it washing over her mate, encompassing her body and soul with the full breadth of her love.

The Reiki energy flowed exceptionally strongly for both women, as it tended to do when most needed. Janna received the distinct impression that her beloved's body was eagerly soaking up the healing energy. They had been running the energy for a full fifteen minutes when a nurse approached Janna and informed her that Ryan was being taken up for emergency surgery, and invited her to follow them up.

Janna jumped to her feet and held out her hand to Georgie, who grasped it as she stood, and followed Janna down the hallway. They stopped outside of Ryan's trauma bay and watched as the team hurriedly pushed the gurney out.

As Janna got a glimpse of her mate, her gut clenched in fear and horror. Her beloved's beautiful body was a mass of bruises, contusions, and bloody bandages. Her entire left leg, from foot to thigh, was dressed and splinted, and her head was wrapped in a wide bandage, with blood seeping through on the left side of her head. There were wires and tubes protruding from what seemed to be every part of her body, and to top off the horrifying scene, her torso was uncovered immodestly, as a thin sheet covered only her pubic region.

The team pushed the gurney quickly past the patient's wife without so much as slowing down and hurried into a waiting elevator. One of the nurses accompanying Ryan motioned for them to wait for the next lift and Janna was left watching her soulmate as the elevator doors closed her out. As she lost sight of her mate, Janna burst into tears and Georgie threw an arm around her as she hustled Janna onto the next elevator, hurriedly punching the second floor and "Close Door" buttons.

When they arrived at the surgical suite the doors were already swinging shut and Janna could only stand and watch them close. She suddenly felt totally defeated and dejection overcame her, as she was wracked by powerful sobs. Georgie led her to the nearby private waiting room and sat her down. A minute later, John arrived, carrying Janna's backpack, which she had forgotten in her haste.

As he sat down next to Janna, he caught Georgie's eye and they exchanged meaningful worried glances. John looked at Janna and patted her hand. "Janna, do you need to eat something? Can I get you anything?"

She sniffled and shook her head dejectedly, then whispered, "I have some meal bars and water. That's all I need." She looked up at John and added, "Thanks." She felt nauseus but was unwilling and unable to dwell on it, being much more preoccupied with her mate's condition.

He nodded and sat back in the chair. Sighing deeply, he fought to hold the images of his partner's broken body at bay. But they were powerful images and a few tears escaped his eyes. Janna quietly reached over and picked up his hand, doing the same with Georgie's on her other side, and they sat there together, waiting, holding hands and silently supporting each other.

~~~~~~~~~~

The surgeon tiredly pulled the covering from his head as he hit the plate to open the surgical doors. As they swung open, he noted the three occupants of the small waiting room across the hallway. He knew that the attractive, shorthaired blonde woman was whom he needed to speak with and steeled himself as he approached them.

As Janna dozed quietly against Georgie's arm, she dreamed uncomfortably about a large, black wolf stalking a puma. "Janna."

The quiet voice repeated, "Janna," and she opened her eyes to see Georgie gently shaking her. "The surgeon is here, hon."

"Oh." She sat upright and shook her head before glancing at the clock on the wall. 6:30. It took almost three hours?

The surgeon kneeled before the obviously exhausted woman, despite his own exhaustion. "Mrs. Norden-Zamora, she's stable."

Janna closed her eyes with relief and took a breath, then gazed at the surgeon, steeling herself as she did so. "And?"

"She's still critical. When she leaves recovery, she'll go into the Intensive Care Unit. She had a ruptured spleen, which we removed, and her blood pressure improved right away. How much did the doctor in the E.R. tell you about her injuries?"

"That she has broken ribs, a concussion, a badly broken leg, um, a punctured lung, dislocated shoulder. Internal injuries."

He nodded, "Right. We've taken care of the internal injury, though her liver was badly bruised and they'll have to keep an eye on it as well. Her concussion is worrisome because she hasn't regained consciousness since she's been here. We'll see how she does coming out of recovery. Then, as soon as she's stable enough, she'll need surgery on her leg and ankle."

He eyed Janna seriously as he added, "She's got a lot of swelling from the concussion, and may need surgery to relieve it...but we can hold off as long as possible and see how she recovers in, say, the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

Janna swallowed hard and nodded.

"You can see her in recovery, but only for a few minutes, and she's not awake. Do you have any questions?"

"Not right now, no, but I may think of some when my head clears a little."

"Just have the operator page me...I'll be on call all day."

"Thanks, doctor." Janna gave him a small smile as she grasped his hand.

He nodded and stood, then nodded at John and Georgia before turning to leave.

The three friends stood and John wrapped his arm around Janna's shoulders. "I'll go downstairs and make some phone calls while you see her. Should I call your parents, Janna?"

"My parents, God...yes, thank you, John."

He smiled and nodded and Georgia said, "I'll go help you, John." She turned to Janna. "Kiss her for us, hon."

"I will, Georgie, thanks. I'll come find you when they kick me out." She left her friends and walked through the doors into the surgical wing. As she approached the desk, a nurse in surgical scrubs said, "Mrs. Norden-Zamora?"

Janna nodded.

"Follow me, please."

Janna followed the woman in blue scrubs into the large recovery area. She was led into the first bay and thought at first that the woman had brought her to the wrong bed. The patient in the bed appeared small and frail and Janna gasped when she realized that it was actually her wife's form.

"Ryan," she whispered as she gently touched the hand that wasn't bandaged. She looked down upon her mate's battered body and a large sob choked her. Ryan was unconscious, with a sheet covering her body up to her chest, her arms lying on top of it. Her right arm was in a sling, while her left sported an I.V. Her head was freshly bandaged, her face was bruised, a nasal cannula delivered oxygen to her system, and her badly broken leg protruded from under the sheet at the foot of the gurney. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Janna said, "I'm here, baby. All of your friends are here. I love you...we all love you. You rest now...get better for me. I'll be right here."

As she leaned over and gently kissed her beloved's forehead, the recovery nurse approached and checked her vitals. She glanced at the distraught woman and felt deeply for her. "She took quite a beating...but she seems very strong. That's a big plus on her side...and so is having someone here, supporting her."

Janna nodded at the woman and gazed back down at her wife. In a small voice she said, "I just hope they let me stay with her in the ICU. Not everyone recognizes the legitimacy of gay marriages."

The nurse nodded her agreement, then said, "Listen, why don't I have one of the hospital social workers come talk with you? She has advocated for gay patients' rights in the past and can probably help you out if you run into problems."

"That would be great, thank you." Janna said sincerely.

The curly-headed blonde said, "Glad to help...we have to stick together, you know," and she smiled warmly.

Janna returned the smile with a nod before gazing down at Ryan again. "How long can I stay with her here?"

"A few more minutes. We'll have someone find you when she's moved to ICU."

"Okay, thanks."

The woman smiled and returned to her desk across the room.

"I'm here, sweetheart. I love you, baby. I'll be right here when you wake up." She kissed Ryan again, this time tenderly on the lips, and gently stroked her hand, avoiding the bruises that covered it. As she touched Ryan, Reiki began to flow, unasked for, so she placed her other hand lightly on the sheet above her wife's abdomen. She stood gazing at her mate, sending her healing energy for several more minutes, until the nurse gently told her that she would have to leave. She kissed Ryan one last time and backed away from the bed, then turned and left the room.

Ryan still floated on the clouds of pain, but the sensations were dulled somewhat and a blip of awareness made itself known through the thick fog that blanketed her. Janna. She felt the sweet warmth that she associated with her mate, and let it creep slowly through her being before the blackness returned and she slept again. However, that little glimmer of love from her mate served to heal her a small measure, setting her on the road to recovery. Another thought pushed its way through the black and forced its way into her awareness, and it was an even stronger medicine: I'll be right here when you wake up.

Janna left the recovery room and exited the surgical wing, but instead of joining her friends downstairs, returned to the small surgical waiting room. She wanted to stay there while her mate was in recovery and then follow her to the ICU...whether the hospital personnel would allow it or not. She needed to be near Ryan.

She had waited perhaps a half hour, alternately alone with her thoughts and sending Reiki to her love, when John arrived with her parents and brother. As she sat with eyes closed, hands held in front of her, palms out, sending the healing energy to her mate, she heard, "Janna, honey," and opened her eyes to see the welcome sight of her mother.

"Mom." She jumped up and into her mother's loving arms. Beth Norden wrapped her daughter in her embrace, and despite being a few inches shorter than Janna, kissed her head.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. How is she?" Her mother's concerned blue eyes communicated boundless love and sympathy for her daughter.

"She's still in recovery...I'm waiting for them to take her to the ICU." She took a deep breath. "Did John tell you what happened?"

Her mom nodded sadly and then Janna's Dad and brother stepped up and joined in the embrace, and Dan said, "Will they let you stay with her, Sis?"

"They're going to, Dan...regardless of hospital policy. I'm not leaving her side." She gazed at each of her family members in turn. "Not for a minute. I promised her."

Her Dad remarked, "I understand your not wanting to leave her, sweetheart, but you have to take care of yourself too."

"I'm fine, Dad, and so is the baby. Right now I need to devote all of my energy to her." She looked down briefly and then back up into her father's eyes. "If she's not okay, then I won't be either...so I need to make sure she gets better." She turned and sat down again and her family and John joined her.

"Janna, Kris sends her love and wants you to know she's praying for Ry. As soon as she can get the kids to a sitter, she'll be here too."

"Thanks Danny. Hey, um, can I borrow your cell? I need to call her brother, but I don't want to miss her if they bring her out."
As he handed over the cell phone, he said, "Sure Sis, here you go."

"Thanks."

Janna walked to a nearby window and made the call, asking information to connect her to the missile base. After a wait of several minutes, Zac finally came on the line. "Lt. Col. Zamora."

"Zac," her voice cracked.

"Yes...Janna, is that you?" He sounded confused.

"Yes, Zac, it's me. Zac..." she began to cry and took a deep breath.

"Janna...what's wrong?"

"It's Ryan, Zac...she's been badly hurt...on duty."

"Oh, God, Janna...what happened?" She could hear the fear in the tough soldier's voice.

"She was involved in a big sting operation and tried to stop the suspects in a speeding car...it ran her down. She's had emergency surgery to remove her spleen and will be heading to the ICU shortly." Janna stopped and took a deep breath to try to waylay the sobs that were threatening to overcome her again and continued, "She has a severe concussion that's worrying the doctors, plus a badly broken leg and ankle, broken ribs, punctured lung, dislocated shoulder...God, Zac, she's a mess." The tears returned then as she added, "She's not out of the woods yet, Zac."

"Jesus fuck..." Zac muttered, then added, "Janna, I'm coming out there. I'll get the next flight out and see you later today, all right? You hang in there and be strong for her, Sis, okay? Marty and I will be praying and I'll see you later."

"Thanks, Zac. She's at St. Joseph's. Will you need a ride from the airport?"

"No, Janna...I'll take care of it...might take a military transport to Mather or Travis so I don't know where I'll land. You just stay with our Puma and make sure she hangs in there, okay?"

"Okay, Zac."

"I love you, Janna. I'll see you later."

"Love you too, Zac, bye."

Janna clicked off the phone and leaned against the smooth glass of the window. Ryan, baby, please hang on. I love you so much. She sighed, feeling the full breadth of her pain. It filled her being and knotted her stomach. She took a deep breath and slowly released it, trying to let go of some of the fear she felt, but was unsuccessful. She returned to the waiting room, joining her parents, Dan and John.

An hour or so later, the surgery doors swung open and a nurse and an orderly wheeled Ryan's bed out. Janna threw her backpack over her shoulder and jumped up, followed by her family and stepped in alongside her wife. She was still out. "Has she regained consciousness?"

"No, not yet." They continued their purposeful strides, not stopping to allow Janna to touch her wife.

When they came to the elevator, Janna stepped in with them, while her family waited for the next one. Janna picked up Ryan's left hand and held it as they ascended, then continued the contact as they wheeled her wife into the intensive care unit. They were met by a stern-looking nurse, who directed them to a room that was waiting ready. The surgical nurse introduced Janna as the patient's next of kin, so she was allowed to stay with Ryan.

After getting Ryan settled in the unit, and attached to the various monitors, the nurse took her vitals and then advised Janna of the visiting policy, which precluded her presence during shift changes and from 10:00pm until 8:00am.

Janna nodded, but said calmly, "I'm her wife and will not be leaving her side. I'll sleep on the floor if I have to, but I will not leave her."

The nurse looked at her as if she had spoken in a foreign language. "You're her..."

"Wife."

The woman raised her eyebrows, but nodded and left the room. As she exited she thought, I can see this one is going to be trouble. Might need to call security later.

Janna pulled a large, blue vinyl-covered chair as close to the left side of the bed as it would go and sat down beside her wife, gently grasping her uninjured hand. "I'm here, baby. You rest a while, then wake up and give me a kiss, okay." I need a kiss, love... and a big, warm Ryan-hug.

A minute later, John came in. "Hey...they will only let two in here at a time, so we'll keep you company in shifts."

Janna spared him a small smile. "Okay, John. But you should get some rest."

"Janna, I can't rest until she wakes up. And anyway, I'm here to see that you get some rest." When she began to protest, he added, "Now, don't argue. That's why someone else will stay here with you. When she wakes up, you'll know right away." He rested his hands on Janna's shoulders and added softly, "Janna, you have to take care of the baby...for her. She's gonna wake up and want to know that you're okay, you know that."

Janna nodded, knowing he was right. "Okay, John, I'll try to rest, but I don't think I can." John nodded and left briefly to retrieve another chair, then returned and sat on the other side of the bed, and they continued their vigil together.

Janna lowered the side rail on the bed so that she could get closer to Ryan and eventually laid her head on her arms, next to her mate, on the bed. Within a few minutes, she was asleep.

Ryan's consciousness was still mired in the thick fog, but she could feel her mate's closeness, like a beacon. It kept her there, kept her earthbound. When her spirit wanted to give up, to sleep, the beacon of her wife's love kept her grounded and safe. Additionally, some of the spirits that Janna had been calling on repeatedly to watch over her love were in the room with them, doing just that.

-13-

The early evening sun of late spring shone brightly on the cream-colored building, but its intense rays did not enter the cool darkness of the Intensive Care Unit on the third floor. In Ryan's room, next to the window, the blinds were tightly drawn, casting the room in a peaceful blue tint, broken only by the intermittent flashing of red, green, and amber lights on the medical equipment and monitors. Janna slept soundly, with her head resting beside her wife on the bed, and Ryan's brother sat quietly nearby, watching his sisters sleep.

He sat, silently suffering an acute pain, and pondered his sister's life. He had never known her to be as happy as she had been the past year, since meeting Janna. In fact, he had never really known her to be happy. Content, perhaps, but not happy. She had always been a tough, solitary soul: going through life without ever becoming really close to anyone. There had been her father, and her grandfather before that, and to some extent, their mother, and later, her best friend John, but never any deep love interests that he had been aware of. As far as he knew, all of her previous lovers had not been much more than conquests.

How different she was now, he thought, after meeting her soulmate. And how cruel was fate, to possibly separate two who had so much to live for. Finally. A tear tracked down his cheek as he said another prayer to the Grandfathers. He added a prayer to their own grandfather, who had so recently appeared to his sister in a dream, warning her of, apparently, this very occurrence and its aftermath. Grandfather, you have shown Puma and her mate how their bond might survive this. Please, now, help her to survive to face the challenge. Give her the chance to overcome and conquer it as I know she can. Thank you, grandfather.

He bowed his head solemnly and looked back up into tired green eyes, gone gray in the dim light.

"Zac."

"Janna," he said as he stood and walked around the bed to greet his sister-in-law. They hugged tightly and he held her close.

"How long have you been here?"

"About an hour. I didn't want to wake you. John told me what a rough night you had."

Janna glanced at her love in the bed as she said, "I'm surprised I slept...I've been so upset."

"It's good that you did, Janna. The baby needs for you to get lots of rest."

"I know. So, did you get all of the details?" Janna sighed as she looked up at him sadly.

"I did. God, I'm sorry, Janna." He looked at his battered sister. "She just had to be the hero, didn't she?"

"Of course she did. She wouldn't be who she is otherwise." Janna choked up as she added, "Damn brave, silly, stubborn woman."

"Strong. She's a strong woman, Janna. I'm sure she will survive this. I'm sure that you both will."

"You think it's what your grandfather warned her about, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. And I have the strongest faith in the both of you." He pulled his sister's wife close again and added, "Have faith, Janna. Think positively. Our thoughts affect our reality."

Janna gazed into the blue eyes that were so much like her wife's as she replied, "I know...I believe that too. Thank you for reminding me of it, Zac."

Janna returned to her perch beside her mate, to resume her vigil. She picked up Ryan's hand, kissing it tenderly, and began speaking to her, as if she were awake and aware.

Ryan was aware, on some level. No one had mentioned the word 'coma' to Janna, but she knew that it was a reality. Her mate was in a coma. As her body healed, Ryan's mind shut down and her spirit rested. The small portion of awareness that remained, heard and stored away Janna's tender words and caresses, and her mate smiled, deep within; the loving warmth from Janna healing her slowly, but surely.

Later that night, John Stewart took his shift at Janna's side, replacing Zac in the large chair while the MP retired to a sofa in the ICU waiting area. John wanted to be present when, if, the nursing staff refused to allow Janna to stay the night. One nurse did begin to raise a fuss but was curiously not supported by the security personnel whom she summoned, so she gave in, deciding that she would rather not get involved.

A few hours later, John went home to the wife and son he had not seen for a day and a half and to try and get some rest. He had taken a leave of absence to be with his partner and intended to return to her side early the next morning. Before leaving the ICU waiting room, he and Zac had watched the local evening news, on which their loved one was featured as part of the top story.

The blonde talking head read from the teleprompter, "In our top story tonight, two valley police officers are hospitalized, one in critical condition, after an early morning vice raid that netted the confiscation of over one million dollars worth of narcotics and firearms, including automatic weapons, and broke up a suspected prostitution ring. One of the officers, Paul Johnson, a ten-year veteran of the Police Department, who was shot while entering the suspected ringleader's headquarters on Eighth Street, is listed in good condition with gunshot wounds to the arm and leg.

The other officer, Ryan Norden-Zamora, a thirteen-year veteran of the Police Force, was run down by a car driven by the two suspected ringleaders. Officer Norden-Zamora shot and killed both suspects before she was injured. She remains in very critical condition at St. Joseph's hospital. Both Officers are being cited for bravery and Officer Norden-Zamora and her partner, John Stewart, are being credited with stopping the two extremely dangerous criminals.

The raid, which resulted in fifteen arrests, was the culmination of a nine month undercover sting operation which was a joint venture of the City Police Department, County Sheriff's Department and the Federal Narcoatics Task Force." Footage of the crime scene and shots of the crowds of well-wishers at the hospital in support of their fallen comrades completed the news story.

Zac and Dan both experienced sharp jolts of pain as Ryan's image was flashed on the screen and both men looked down as they attempted to swallow sobs.

"Son of a bitch," John muttered. He gazed at Zac with moist eyes. "She's the best cop ...and the bravest...that I've ever known, Zac."

Ryan's brother simply nodded.

The next morning, the consulting neurologist examined Ryan, and was encouraged that the swelling in her brain had decreased.

"This is a positive sign, and the CT scan also looks good. It appears that we won't have to go in and relieve the pressure surgically. We'll continue to watch her closely for another day or so and if she remains stable, the orthopedists can go in and repair her leg fractures."

"What about the coma, Doctor? Would they operate on her in that state?" Janna asked as she held her mate's hand.

"Well, we can't know what will happen, of course, but I expect her to come out of it soon. As I said, we'll watch her for another day or so and make that determination." He nodded. "Okay?"

"Yes, thanks."

The man left and Janna resumed her vigil at her wife's side. Soon thereafter, John returned, spelling Zac, and pulled the bed tray around in front of Janna. He then set two bags on it and said, "Breakfast. Eat."

Janna grinned at him. "Yes, sir." She opened the bag to find bottled juice and bagels. "Thanks, John. I was getting kind of tired of meal bars."

He frowned. "I can imagine. How can you eat that stuff?"

"It's only supposed to be for emergencies...for when I start to get nauseous." She gazed at her mate in the large bed. "As it turns out, they were for an emergency." She kissed her wife tenderly and then sat down to eat, talking to Ryan all the while.

John smiled, and so did Ryan, from the far-away place where she rested.

Sometime during the second night, she wasn't sure quite when, Janna got very tired of sleeping in the chair and thought, fuck it. She may have even muttered it aloud, though it's not likely. So she climbed into the large bed next to Ryan, on her least injured right side. Oh, yes...this is so much better, she thought as she carefully snuggled next to her mate.

She draped her arm carefully over Ryan's slinged arm and against her bandaged chest and leaned up to gently kiss her lips. "Good night, love. Sweet dreams. I love you Ryan." She spoke quietly and then sighed deeply before dropping into the deepest sleep she had experienced since Ryan's accident.

The next morning, when John arrived to spell Zac, Ryan's brother met him outside the ICU unit.

"You've got to see this," he said, grinning, and led John into the room. "But be quiet," he warned.

As he walked in, John was greeted by the lovely sight of Janna wrapped protectively around her wife, deeply asleep. They looked adorable and both tough men grinned goofily.

Zac grinned widely as he said, "The nurses are pissed...they need to check her vitals but are too embarrassed to come in, and I told them not to wake Janna."

"Good for you, bud. This has got to be good for both of them." As they stood gazing at the women, Janna stirred and stretched, yawning cutely. Instead of opening her eyes, though, she settled more snugly against her mate and smiled. And then Ryan smiled.

Zac looked at John wide-eyed. "Did you see that?"

"Shit...she smiled!"

They both approached Janna and Zac tapped her shoulder lightly. "Janna...Janna!"

Janna opened her eyes with a frown. "Hmm?"

Zac said excitedly, "Ryan just smiled!"

Janna repeated, groggily, "Hmm?"

"She smiled, Janna! When you snuggled against her. She smiled!"

Janna's eyes opened fully then. "She smiled?"

"Yes!" Answered the happy chorus.

Janna raised up on one arm and gazed down at her wife. She gently caressed Ryan's cheek as she said, "Ryan, sweetheart, are you awake?"

She was answered by a soft groan and Janna's tears were immediate.

"Ryan...Ryan, love...can you hear me?" She gently kissed her mate's cheek. "Ryan?"

"Mm," was the hoarse reply.

"Oh, God...oh my God! Call the nurse!" She looked excitedly back down at her mate, saying, "Honey, it's time to wake up."

John ran from the room to get the nurse and when they returned, Janna was leaning over her wife, kissing her tenderly.

As she pulled back, Ryan's eyes slowly fluttered open. It seemed to take a few moments for her to focus, but then her eyes tracked to Janna's face and she smiled faintly.

"Janna," she whispered.

"Ryan, my love." Janna's tears dropped onto her wife's face as she leaned above her and caressed her cheek. "Welcome back, honey. I've missed you so much." She gently kissed Ryan again.

"Janna...where are we?" Ryan croaked, trying to speak above a whisper.

"We're in the hospital, love...you were hurt on Monday night...on duty."

"What day is it now?"

"Wednesday."

"Shit...what happened to me, Janna?" She looked dazed and confused as she searched Janna's eyes for some answers.

The nurse stepped up then and said, "Ms. Norden-Zamora, I'm glad you're back with us, but I need to check your vitals now, if you all don't mind."

Ryan tried to move, but was stopped by the pain. "Ow, fuck..." she moaned and then whispered coarsely, becoming upset, "Will someone tell me what's going on?"

Janna gently laid her hands on her shoulders as she said, "You were hit by a car...by the suspects...after you shot them. Do you remember that?"

"No, but it feels like it was a truck. What happened to me?" She closed her eyes as a wave of pain swept over her.

The nurse answered, "Broken ribs, broken leg, broken ankle, ruptured spleen and dented head. How's that?"

"Shit...that's plenty, thanks." She smiled crookedly, or tried to, and warmed everyone's hearts.

"Can I please do my job now, people?" The wisecracking nurse asked.

Janna grinned, "Sure!" And moved off of the bed, but not before kissing her wife again...at which Ryan smiled successfully.

As the RN tended to her business, Ryan closed her eyes, exhausted by the act of regaining consciousness. Janna, John and Zac, stood back, Janna embraced by the men, and waited for the nurse to finish.

"Okay...now don't tire her out...and I don't see three of you in here, do I?" She raised her thick, black eyebrows at John and Zac and they both grinned sheepishly. "I didn't think so. Say your hi's and then let her rest...I mean it."

"Yes, ma'am!" Zac replied.

When she heard her brother's voice, Ryan whispered, "Zac?"

"Hey, Sis." He approached the bed and kissed his drowsy sister. "You sure know how to get attention, don't cha?" He grinned down at his sister.

"Zachary Red Hawk...what the hell are you doin' here?"

"I came to keep you in line. Your little lady here needs you well and back home."

Ryan looked at her mate. "Janna, are you okay, baby?" She asked weakly.

"I'm fine love...especially now. You rest now. I'll be right here."

"'Kay." She closed her eyes again, but they flew open again a few moments later. "I was hurt on duty?" She asked. "On the raid?"

"Yes, love."

"John...is John okay?" She asked, fear coloring her voice.

Her best friend's familiar voice answered, "I'm fine, Ry. Now that you're done scaring the shit out of us."

"John." She smiled weakly. "Come 'ere."

John approached and grasped her left hand. "I'm here, buddy."

"How'd the raid go?"

"We kicked their asses."

"Good. But it looks like they kicked mine too. Anyone else hurt?"

"Yeah, Paul Johnson got shot...he'll be fine. He's downstairs."

"Just me and him?"

"You and him and the badasses you killed, Ry. They were true slime, Ryan...you did good. Saved a lot of lives." Her partner gazed at her proudly and she nodded slightly.

"Jesus...I've got a fuckin' headache that'd stop a train."

"Honey, you rest now. I'll see about pain medication." Janna said with concern.

"No, Janna. I just need you...okay?" Her eyes misted and she closed them, lest the guys notice.

"Absolutely, baby. I'm right here. Let's go back to sleep." She gingerly climbed back into the bed and very gently embraced her mate. Ryan's eyes closed and she fell almost immediately back to sleep.

Janna began to cry softly as she held Ryan, and she looked at her friends. "Guys, will you let everyone know that she's awake, please? And thank them for their prayers?"

The guys nodded in unison, and left, smiling. Janna curled protectively around her mate and proceeded to thank every deity she could think of for returning her soulmate to her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Janna and Ryan slept most of the day, awaking only when Ryan's pain got so severe that it roused her. She grudgingly accepted pain medication, putting up only a small fight, because she knew that her body needed rest but couldn't do so when the pain was too bad.

Janna's mother sat with them much of the day. She looked up from her book once more as a stray beam of sunshine floated in. As she gazed at her daughter and her mate, she was warmed by their obvious devotion. Janna was gently wrapped around Ryan as she lay immobile. With splinted leg, slinged arm, broken ribs, surgical incision, IV lines, and catheter, it was not only difficult for her to move, but the slightest movement caused intense pain...in addition to the ever-present dull, throbbing aches.

At lunchtime, Beth left briefly to retrieve lunch for herself and Janna. While she was gone, Ryan stirred and groaned.

Janna roused and mumbled, "Am I hurting you, Ryan?"

"Ugh...no, baby, you're comforting me." She reached for the pain medication delivery switch and flicked it, then waited for it to kick in. "Jesus, Janna, I didn't know it was possible to hurt this much." She groaned as she tried to take a deeper breath, wincing as she did so.

"I'm so sorry, love. I'd give you more Reiki but I'm not sure it would do much through the heavy painkillers...they seem to hinder it somehow."

"'S'okay, love. Just lay here with me...as long as you're comfortable." She closed her eyes as the throbbing aches began to dull, and a pleasant, mild euphoria set in. "What are they giving me, Janna? It sure works fast."

"Morphine, sweetheart. So don't get too used to it." She smiled down at her mate, who was sporting a goofy grin.

"Mm...'kay." She slowly rolled her head to look at her mate. "Love you, baby."

Janna smiled down at her lover and caressed her cheek. "Love you, Ryan." She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her wife's lips, which Ryan opened playfully, allowing Janna's tongue to slip in. She tenderly caressed Ryan's tongue with hers, just briefly.

Still kissing Janna, Ryan somewhat drowsily mumbled, "Mmm, baby. Now my clit is awake but we can't do a goddamn thing about it."

Janna ended the kiss and scowled at her naughty mate, but softened it with a smile and said, "Sorry, Ryan...but look at the catching up we'll have to do when we get you home."

"It's what I'll use to motivate myself." She sighed and closed her eyes, as exhaustion, in concert with the morphine, put her back to sleep.

Janna resumed her position next to her mate, as exhaustion still claimed her as well, and was already asleep again when her mother returned. Beth smiled and lay Janna's lunch on the tray next to the bed, and sat to quietly eat hers.

Later that afternoon, Ryan's attending physician arrived with the orthopedic surgeon to discuss the leg surgeries. They arrived to find the two women still curled up together, asleep. Beth gently shook her daughter awake, and Janna disengaged herself from her sleeping partner and sat up on the bed.

The middle-aged surgeon remarked, "I didn't think these beds were big enough for two," and he chuckled. Janna grinned, happy that he hadn't had a completely different reaction to seeing the two women sleeping together.

"Well, we're definitely glad they are, because I can't leave her, and that chair just does not make a comfortable bed." Janna grinned winningly. "Um, should I wake Ryan?"

The attending said, "Yes, why don't you. I'd like to check her responses."

Janna nodded and gently rubbed her mate's arm as she softly said, "Sweetheart, can you wake up? Sweetheart..."

"Mm...don't wanna, Janna. Tired. Hurts."

"Honey, the doctors are here. They'd like to talk to you."

Ryan sighed, then opened her eyes and smiled weakly at the intruders. "Hey."

"Hello, Ryan. I'm Doctor Jensen and this is Doctor Mattos. We'd like to have a look at you, if you don't mind."

Ryan nodded and Janna moved away from the bed. The first doctor pulled the sheet down to Ryan's waist and then lifted up her gown to check her surgical incision and ribs. Most of her torso, what wasn't tightly wrapped, was covered by dark bruising.

"Jesus..." Ryan muttered as she got the first good look at her body. "Are you sure it wasn't a train that hit me?"

The doctor smiled and then remarked, "Everything looks fine...no infection, no swelling...won't be much of a scar. How do the ribs feel?" He asked as he gently palpated them.

"Like shit."

"That's to be expected. How about here?" He palpated her liver area.

"Pretty sore."

"Your liver was bruised. We'll need to watch it...but it feels pretty good now."

Next he carefully removed her arm from the sling and examined her shoulder and its movement. "Much pain here?"

"Not too bad. I did this once before."

"I think we can lose the sling, then, since you'll be confined to bed for the near future."

At that, Ryan scowled and groaned, lying her head back against the pillow. "Christ."

"Ms. Norden-Zamora, you were very critically injured...it will take some time for your body to repair itself." He pulled his stethoscope up to his ears and placed the bell against Ryan's chest as he leaned over her. "Take a deep breath, please."

Ryan complied, grimacing. "That's pretty painful...did I puncture a lung, too?"

"You sure did, but it sounds good now."

Ryan rolled her head, looked at her mate and sighed, looking as if she were resigning herself to some horrible fate.

Janna slipped up to the head of the bed and rested a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "We'll get through it together, Ryan."

Ryan simply blew out a frustrated breath. Addressing the doctors, she said, "So what's going on with my leg?"

The surgeon stepped to the bed then, as he said, "Your leg is broken in four places. The femur is broken here," he touched her mid thigh, "And you have compound fractures of both the tibia and fibula, right about here," and he gently touched her splinted leg about halfway between her knee and foot. "And, your ankle is shattered. We need to go in and place four or five pins, possibly more, so that we can restore something approximating normal movement."

Ryan murmured, "Fuck...," before looking the doctor in the eye and asking, "How close to normal are we talking about?"
The man assessed his patient and replied honestly, "I'd say, if we're lucky, 75 to 80%."

Ryan put down the waves of pain that were beginning to roll over her again and rose above them, replying steadily, "I'd like to shoot for closer to 90 to 100%, if we can, Doc. My job depends on it and I love to play softball."

"We'll do all we can for you here, and then you'll have to work hard in physical therapy. If you do, and, like I said, with luck on our side, maybe we can approach that figure. But, I really won't have a good idea of what we're facing until I get in there and take a look. And, we should do it as soon as possible." He turned to the other physician and asked, "What do you think, Scott, can we do it tomorrow?"

"Yes, from my standpoint, she's looking good. I see no reason to wait."

"Alright...tomorrow it is...first thing." He nodded to Ryan.

"What kind of recovery are we talking about, doctor?" Janna asked.

"Providing things are as I expect, I would say, four to six months in a cast, followed by a walking cast and physical therapy. Hopefully there won't be a need for further surgery after that."

"Four to six MONTHS?" Ryan practically bellowed.

"Months," the doctor replied calmly. "The largest bones in your body are broken."

"Fuck!" She looked despondently at Janna, then back to the doctors. "Janna, Jesus! There's no fucking way I can be in a cast for six months. I have to work...I pitch for two softball teams...I teach an aikido class." Her eyes then grew wide as she added, "Oh, shit...and my wife is pregnant... due at Christmas. How the hell am I going to support her through the pregnancy? She's sick constantly, she needs me...we have Lamaze in October..." Ryan shook her head in disbelief.

"Honey, it's okay...we'll work it all out."

"Janna, God...this can't be..." Ryan rolled her head miserably and swallowed hard. "Fucking Christ," she murmured unhappily.

"Ms. Norden-Zamora..."

"Mrs. Norden-Zamora," Ryan replied sullenly.

"I'm sorry...I expect that a woman in your condition should make a nearly complete recovery...there's no reason to think that you won't...but, unfortunately, it takes time." He looked at the unhappy woman with sympathy, then gently patted her leg. "I'll see you in the morning."

Ryan didn't respond, so Janna thanked the doctors, and they left.

-14-

Ryan lay quietly in her hospital bed, growing more sullen by the minute. Janna sat beside her in the chair, thoroughly frustrated and Ryan glanced sadly at her mate. "I don't blame you for not wanting to sit by me...I'm nothin' but a fuckin' loser."

Janna counted to five before answering, as she had become accustomed to doing over the past hour. "Ryan, where is this coming from? You are so far removed from a loser that I could laugh at that statement."

"Fuck, Janna...I can no longer support my wife...in any way...financially, physically, spiritually, nothing. I am absolutely and completely good for nothing like this."

Janna gave the soft touch one more try, though she was quickly becoming frazzled, and her nausea had returned with a vengeance. "Ryan, love. Please don't be so hard on yourself. None of this was your fault..."

"I could have said, 'no', Janna...my wife is pregnant and sick for Christ's sake...I should never have agreed to take the duty. I should have told the Lt. to fuck himself." She shook her head, wincing when it hurt. "No, I never should have been out there."

"Honey, I disagree, but let's go on to the other points. Financially...that is not a problem, and you know it. We have plenty saved..."

Ryan didn't let her finish. She closed her eyes to try to shut out the pain, then said, "Janna, stop. You know how I feel about that. I will not be kept by you. I financially support this marriage equally."

"Ryan, you will be getting disability. Probably nearly what you make normally, and the Peace Officer's benefits..."

"I will not take charity, nor will I accept pay when I'm not working!" Ryan grasped her head as she was gripped by pain from the still-healing concussion.

Janna groaned and dropped her head into her hands. Suddenly, she was overcome by nausea and had to run to the bathroom. Ryan could hear her retching from her bed and had she not been flat on her back, would have hung her own head in her hands.

When Janna returned and looked at Ryan, she saw a face full of pain and dejection. Quietly, Ryan muttered, "See, I can't even help you when you're sick. I can't even get out of this goddamned bed."

Janna, sick, tired and frustrated, simply looked at Ryan and quietly said, "Ryan, self-pity does not become you," and stood looking at her mate with disappointment written all over her face.

Ryan, pressed by the pain and the drugs, the frustration and self-loathing, then said something she would regret for a very long time. With a gaze as cold as ice, she said, "If you're so goddamned, fucking disappointed in me, then leave. Get out of here. I'm hurting so bad I can't see straight and I can't do this fight right now. So leave. I don't fucking want to see you right now, Janna." She turned her head away from her wife and closed her eyes tightly, trying to shut out the pain.

If she had seen the intense look of pain on Janna's face, Ryan would have retracted the statement immediately and reached out to Janna...even through her own pain. But she didn't. So Janna was left standing there, staring in disbelief at her wife, and feeling a sting of pain like she had never experienced in her life. With tears streaming down her face, she quietly picked up her backpack and left the room without looking back.

Ryan was so lost in her own world of pain, both physical and emotional, that she didn't feel Janna's through their link. When she opened her eyes and saw that Janna was gone, she angrily flipped the morphine switch, needing desperately to feel numb. Suddenly, all of her pain, all of her fear, all of her frustration, merged and coalesced into something primal and she screamed, "I should have fucking stayed single!"

Janna felt the words like a blow and slid to the floor where she stood just outside of Ryan's doorway. Zac, hearing his sister's scream, came running and knelt at Janna's side, thinking that she was hurt. Janna looked up at him with pain-filled eyes overflowing with tears.

"What is it, Janna? Is Ryan okay?"

Janna shook her head. "No, she's not. She's taking this all very badly and taking it out on me. I didn't know she could be so mean, Zac," she cried as she stood.

Zac helped her to her feet and put an arm around her. "Janna, she's not. She's talking through the pain, and the drugs...don't you know that?"

At the negative shake of Janna's head, he added, "Oh, Janna, she is. She loves you more than anything...you have to know that, Janna. Come here."

He led her to the waiting room and sat her down, then sat beside her. He continued, "Look, she's very like a man in some ways, Janna. She considers herself the provider. She feels like your protector. She's even told me that you both found out that she has been your protector in literally dozens and dozens of lives and she continues in that role in this life. Janna, it's inbred in her. It's an essential part of who she is, and right now she feels useless. She feels like a liability to you."

He gazed seriously into his sister-in-law's eyes as he added, "I've gotta tell ya, Sis, that as a man, that is the worst thing you can feel. She feels powerless and, I would even say, emasculated. Please don't take to heart anything she says in this state." He searched her eyes. "You've got to understand how much physical pain she's in, too, on top of feeling so down on herself."

Janna looked at the floor as more tears fell. "I know Zac, that's what I've been telling myself for the last two hours...but what she just said...there has to be a grain of truth in it somewhere, or it wouldn't have come out." She looked deeply into Zac's eyes. "Zac, nothing has ever hurt me as much as what she just said does."

"What exactly did she say?"

"I should have fucking stayed single." Janna repeated, choking on the last word.

Zac closed his eyes and muttered, "Shit." He picked up Janna's hand and held it gently. "Janna, I know that hurts...I know you're sick and hurting, but please try to understand her. Okay? Please?"

Janna bowed her head and muttered, "Zac, I'll try, but right now, I don't have the energy to see past this nausea. I just want to go home and take a bath and crawl into bed, okay?" She felt totally defeated, and powerless to battle it at that moment.

"Let me drive you home, then."

"No, please stay with her. She needs company, whether she believes it or not, and I can't do it right now, so it has to be you. I'll ask my mom, or John, or whoever's around, or I'll get a cab." She looked up sadly into Zac's stirring eyes. "I'll see you later, Zac."

~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later, as the moon, their loyal friend, sat in the southern sky, half full, the two estranged lovers both tossed and turned miserably. For her part, Ryan was in severe physical pain, but it didn't come close to the pain she felt emotionally at being separated from her mate. And Janna, terribly sick to her stomach because she had been unable to choke down any dinner, moaned and writhed miserably on the bed. She too, felt an even more intense emotional pain than the physical. Both women cried themselves to sleep and slept fitfully, when at all. In their nearly one year together they had never once slept apart, and the fact of their separation was tearing both of them apart.

Luna tried to send subtle, loving energy to remind her friends of the special vision message: to remember the love, but she was unsuccessful, as both women were too lost in their pain. Tomorrow is another day, she thought as she went on her way, continuing her eons-old cycle.

The next morning, Janna, still feeling deeply hurt and thinking that Ryan wouldn't want to see her, waited to go to the hospital when she knew that Ryan would already be in surgery.

When Janna didn't show up before she was taken into surgery, Ryan fell into an even deeper depression and found herself wishing that she could just slip away during the operation. She just wanted the pain to be over. As the anesthesiologist pressed the mask to her face and she went under, her last, mournful thought was, she doesn't love me any more. I don't want to live like this.

Janna arrived in the surgery waiting room, feeling very down and as if Ryan didn't want or need her there. She sat sullenly by herself, feeling sick and not wanting to visit with Zac or John. Both men gave her the space she needed, but after about an hour of silence, John had to say something.

"Janna, don't um, take this wrong, okay...I'm not upset with you...Zac told me what happened yesterday, so I know how hardheaded she was being. I just want you to know that she was very upset when you didn't show up this morning. She tried to bluff her way through it, but we both saw it. She thinks you don't love her anymore, Janna...and when they took her away, she was crying."

"What? She's crazy. She's the one who was acting like she doesn't love me."

Zac answered her, softly. "Yes, Janna, she is crazy. Crazy with pain and fear. She loves and needs you so much that she's feeling desperate. Please try to understand where she's coming from." Zac got up and knelt before Janna, taking her hands in his. "This is what grandfather was warning you about, Janna. It's this...not her accident, but it's aftermath. Do you see that?" He pinned her with his piercing blue gaze.

Janna had not seen it...not until that very moment. She looked at Zac wide-eyed. "Oh, my God, Zac...you're right. He told us to remember the love. We haven't done that. Neither one of us."

She gazed unseeing at the blue-carpeted floor. "Remember the love..." she murmured quietly. "Oh, Jesus...what an idiot I've been." She looked back up into Zac's eyes. "Oh, God, Zac...I've hurt her badly, haven't I?" Tears began to flow and she looked up at the ceiling.

"You've hurt each other, Janna, because you did not remember the love." He gently grasped his sister's chin and forced her to make eye contact with him. "But it's not too late...with a love like yours it is never too late. Remember the rest of her vision. How many people have a love that can survive so strongly for over fifty years? How many, Janna?"

Janna sighed. "I don't know, Zac, but I know that we do." She burst into tears and sobbed openly. "Oh, God..."

"Be there for her when she comes out, Janna. Just be there...and remember. It will be hard, but if you just remember, you will prevail."

"Yes, Zac. You're right. I'll do that." She gazed seriously at him. "I have to."

From where she sat above the Coral Sea, Luna smiled, and wrapped her friends within her loving energetic arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

The warrior walked sadly through the forest, leading her horse behind her. She felt very alone. The feeling surprised and frustrated her. She had always been solitary, had never needed anyone before. Why was the small blonde's departure hitting her so hard? Because I love her. Gods, I love her, I miss her, and it hurts. It felt like an arrow through her chest and she sighed deeply, trying to dispel the pain. I love her. I want her to be happy. She is happy now...she never could have been happy with me...not really. It's better this way...he can give her the things that I never could. When she reached the boundary of the forest and came upon a dusty road, she mounted her horse and galloped off, in search of peace.

As she rode her horse with the wind, the dream shifted and she became the horse...no, she was a puma, loping swiftly across a meadow. She raised her proud head and gazed at the sky. A red-tailed hawk soared majestically above on unseen thermals of air.

"Hello, my brother. Thank you for showing me the way."

She continued her lope across the meadow and reached the forest. As she slowed and entered the cool, dark forest, she gazed upward again and her gaze settled on a beautiful white owl, sitting on a pine branch.

"Hello, my love."

The owl gazed at her seriously and took flight, sailing down and coming to rest on her back. As her soulmate settled into place, she suddenly felt complete again.

They continued through the forest and reached a clear pond, with a lovely brook babbling into it. As they rested together near its edge, they reveled in their partnership. Though seemingly very different to outside eyes, they were, in reality, wonderful together. They made a perfect team. Each embodied qualities that complemented the other. As they sat together, a large bear appeared. The puma smiled and welcomed him.

"Hello Grandfather."

"Hello Swift Puma, White Owl. I am glad that you found your way back to each other. You have remembered the love. I am very proud."

"Thank you, Grandfather.

Ryan groaned and writhed uncomfortably. Her brain felt very fuzzy, and as her awareness began to clear, the image of the wise, old bear, and his words, faded, replaced by a consistent, muted, high-pitched beeping sound. She felt a warmth in her heart center...no longer the pierce of the arrow...and could feel a loving touch on her arm. The touch and the warmth translated into a thought: Janna. She smiled. The clouds of fog swirled around her fuzzy mind and she struggled to form another cohesive thought, and another and then to put them together.

Janna gazed down at Ryan's still form. The heart monitor beeped rhythmically, and Janna noticed that it matched her own pulse. She smiled as she caressed Ryan's cheek and then dropped her hand to her mate's arm as she waited for her to awaken in recovery. The same nurse was on duty that had been there the other day, and Janna had talked her into letting her stay with Ryan the whole time she was there. Something in Janna's serious eyes had implored her and she had relented, bending hospital policy.

She lovingly caressed her mate's arm while she watched and waited. Ryan's left leg now bore a huge, heavy plaster cast, from the top of her thigh to the bottom of her foot. She smiled faintly as she shook her head. She's not gonna like that one bit. The nurse returned and checked the monitors.

"She should be waking up any time...why don't you start talking to her? Try to wake her for me. I'll be back in a bit."
Janna nodded and turned to look back at her precious mate. I'm so sorry I hurt you yesterday, love. I will never hurt you again, I promise. Her eyes misted as she sent a surge of love to Ryan through their link and she saw her mate stir.

"Ryan...Ryan, honey, wake up."

The beeping sound slowly morphed into longer syllables and Ryan's fuzzy brain recognized a familiar voice. Her body reacted to the familiar sound and she struggled to open her eyes.

"Ryan, love. Can you hear me? I'm here, baby. Wake up for me now."

I'm here, baby. Wake up for me now. Janna! I love you, Janna. Ryan turned her head drowsily toward the welcome sound of her wife's voice and forced her eyes open. As they fluttered open and her focus sharpened on her wife's lovely, concerned features, Ryan smiled dopily.

Janna returned the smile warmly. "Hi, love. The surgery is over." She leaned down slowly and kissed her mate tenderly, lingering on her lips to communicate her love.

Ryan blinked several times as she continued to try to focus her sight and her brain. "Surgery's over?" She whispered hoarsely as Janna continued to hover just above her face.

"Yes, and it went very well. We're gonna be out of here real soon, Ryan, and back to our life." She kissed Ryan again and pulled back.

Ryan tried to smile. "Love you, Janna. So much." A tear appeared at the corner of her eye and slid down and over a high cheekbone.

"Love you too, Ryan. Always and forever."

A half hour later, Ryan was settled in a new room and rested with her left leg in traction above the bed. Janna sat beside her in a large chair. John and Zac occupied the two other chairs in the room, and her family watched quietly as Ryan dozed.

John stood up and said, "I think I'll go home for a bit and come back later when she's more up to company, okay, Janna?"

"Oh, sure, John. Give Sara and John, Jr. my love."

John smiled. "I'll do that, Janna." He gazed at his partner in the bed and blew out a breath. "Jesus, this has been hard...but I think she's turned the corner. "

Zac nodded. "She has, John. No question. We'll tell her you'll be back later. Go take care of your family now, bud."

John nodded and kissed Janna's cheek before leaving.

"Zac, what about you? I know you can't be away from your duties for too long...not to mention Marty."

"Don't worry about it, Janna...I can stay as long as I need to. I'll leave when I feel it's time. And Marty understands how important family is. She wants me to be here for Ryan."

Janna nodded as she smiled. They quietly passed the time together, conversing softly about Ryan and many things until their special one awakened. When she did so, Zac spent a few minutes with her and then departed for the cafeteria, knowing that his sisters needed to talk.

-15-

Spoiler warning: This part contains a major spoiler from the Xena Series Finale, "A Friend in Need." If you do not wish to be spoiled, skip the first part of chapter 16, the italicized dream sequence.

Ryan stretched, as much as she could under the constraints placed upon her body, as she watched her brother leave the hospital room. She looked at her hands and fiddled with the IV stuck in the large vein on the back of her left one.

Without looking at her mate, she said somewhat sheepishly, "Um, Janna, I said some pretty stupid things yesterday. I hope you know that I didn't really mean them." She gazed over at her wife then, adding, "I could never mean them. I'm so sorry."

Janna sighed and smiled weakly. "I know, Ryan. I wasn't very understanding, myself. I'm sorry too."

Ryan continued. "But, um, I need you to understand that I do feel useless like this...and I feel guilty about putting myself in the position that I did, and getting hurt." She looked back at her hands, adding, "The last thing that I want to be is a burden to you...especially now."

"Ryan, I understand that. First of all, let me say that I don't blame you at all...not in the least. But let's move beyond that, okay? What's done is done. What we need to do now is figure out how to go on from here...let's get you healed and home and then rehabilitated, and continue with our life together.

You know, our relationship won't stop and wait until you're back to one hundred percent, we need to live day by day, right now, and make every day the best it can be...for both of us." She gazed seriously into Ryan's eyes before adding, "And you could never, ever, be a burden to me...you are my life, Ryan. You and this baby that's coming. I joyfully take on whatever comes along."

She stood up, walked to the bed, sat down next to Ryan, and picked up her hand. "I love you, Ryan...in sickness and in health." She held up her hand as she added with a grin, "I know...it's a cliché, and people have said it without truly meaning it, or thinking anything would ever happen to challenge it, but I do mean it, Ryan. I mean it with all of my heart." She kissed her wife's hand. "I love you with everything that I am and nothing will challenge that ever again. I will never forget our love again."

"Not even when I'm being an asshole?" Ryan grinned sheepishly.

"Not even then, love." Janna's eyes sparkled, punctuating her point.

"Thanks, Janna, 'cause I can be, you know."

Janna just smiled.

Ryan looked back up at Janna and said quietly, "I'm kinda scared, baby. I don't think I've ever really been afraid of anything before, but this scares the shit out of me."

Janna sighed. "I know, honey. I'm scared too. Our future is an unknown right now. But you know what? We have each other and that's a huge plus. Even with troubles and hardships and challenges, what we have is pretty damn great."

Ryan nodded, and Janna added, "Honey, I've gotta tell you...I've never been so scared in my life as when I felt something was wrong with you that night, and then Sam came to the door. I was so paralyzed by fear that I forgot to breathe, I think." She blew out a breath as she felt the knot in her stomach return in remembrance.

"Janna, baby, I'm so sorry that I did that to you." Ryan's eyes misted as she gazed at Janna mournfully.

"God, Ryan, it was a nightmare...an absolute nightmare, for three days, but it wasn't your fault, love. Please, please stop blaming yourself." She kissed her wife's fingers.

"Janna...you felt something was wrong? That night?"

"Yeah, I guess I felt your fear, just for an instant, and then pain, and then you felt very far away. I just knew that something was terribly wrong...and I can't even say that it was an entirely physical sensation. I'm pretty sure that there was some intuition involved."

"Jesus...and Sam came? To the house?"

"Yes. He came to take me to the hospital. First I called the station, but the dispatcher wouldn't tell me anything, though I could tell she knew something. She asked if I was at home." Janna raised her eyebrows, and Ryan closed her eyes and grimaced.

"Then the doorbell rang and I think my heart nearly stopped. Everything from then on is pretty much a blur...until you woke up." She grinned, "I didn't even really notice the morning sickness too much while I was so worried about you."

"Well there's a plus," Ryan said sarcastically.

"But now, I have you back...and I'm not letting you get away from me ever again."

"Great...kiss me then, baby."

Janna did. And when they parted, she lay down and stretched out on the bed, pulling Ryan's head onto her shoulder.

In an uncharacteristically small voice, Ryan murmured, "Janna, it's gonna be hard for me. I hate hospitals...hate pain...hate being confined. You're gonna need patience, I'm afraid. And, shit, I hate feeling like I'm going to be needing too much from you when you're not well yourself. I hate that, Janna."

"Honey, it's okay. I know we'll manage. And Jesus, I should be feeling better before too long, don't you think? I mean, I'm almost through the first trimester."

She kissed her wife's head. "We'll take care of each other, okay? It won't be easy, but we'll manage somehow. Anyway, I have a lot of faith in you. I know you'll work hard and do what you need to do to get better in record time." She laughed. "I know you, Ryan."

"Oh, yeah?"

Janna looked at the still-battered face of her beloved and grinned. "Yeah, I do...so there."

"Okay."

"Ryan, I do want to ask something of you. I want you to be honest with me about how you feel, okay? If you're having a lot pain, or a bad day emotionally, let me know...don't try to be tough and hide it from me, please? That would really hurt me. I want to know so that I can do what I can to help."

Ryan started to speak and Janna hushed her. "No...don't hold back to try to protect me or think that you shouldn't burden me with it...like if I'm sick or something...I want to know immediately...even if I'm having a bad day too. It will give me something else to focus on, and I guarantee you that helping you, or comforting you, or soothing you, will help me to feel better." She looked at her mate pointedly. "I mean it, Ryan...please promise me."

Ryan sighed resignedly. "Okay, Janna. I promise. But I can be pretty tough, you know."

"Oh, I know. But I also know how soft you are."

Ryan looked quickly toward the door to make sure no one was around. "Shit, baby, quiet...I don't want anyone else hearing that."

"Oh, Ryan...anyone else who means anything to us already knows it."

"What? No..."

Janna kissed her forehead. "I'm afraid so, love. Come on, rest now. Do you want your head up or down?"

"Up. I'm tired of being flat on my back."

Janna grinned. "I kind of like you flat on your back."

"Well, I like it too, baby, but ugh, God...don't go there, please. I don't need to be horny on top of everything else."

"Honey, you are naturally horny...the pain and the morphine are just mellowing it out. In fact, you are the horniest woman I have ever known."

"Are you complaining?"

"Oh, absolutely not! I'm thanking you."

"Good. Lie down here with me and take a nap and we'll have a sexy dream together." Ryan depressed the button on the handheld bed control and the head of the bed rose, allowing them to recline against it.

"Okay, which dream shall we have?" Janna smiled coyly.

"How about the warrior one where we were making love by the lake?"

"Oh, God, Ryan...that's a sexy one." She sighed. "You know, you were as sexy in that life as you are in this one."
"So were you, babe."

With that, Janna curled around Ryan and as they slept together, the sexy dream commenced. When Zac returned later, they both had very pleased smiles on their faces.

~~~~~~~~~

The naked warrior stretched her long frame out in the sun as her partner finished her bath. The clear, blue lake spread out majestically before her and as she gazed at the sky, she breathed deeply, filling her essence with the beauty of the place. She returned her gaze to the lake just as her mate was walking out of the shallow water.

Her breath caught as she watched the water drip from her partner's lithe, strong body. Her gaze lingered on the bard's soft, full breasts and her heart rate sped up as a gentle, but insistent, throbbing began between her legs. Her mate either picked up on her desire through their link, or read the leer on her face, because instead of settling beside her to dry off in the sun, she walked up to the dark warrior and knelt between her legs.

"By the gods, Xena...you are so beautiful," she said quietly as she gazed openly at her mate.

"And, so are you, Gabrielle. Come 'ere." She sat up and reached out to the blonde, who fell into her warrior's warm embrace.

The dark woman held her close and nipped at her throat. The smaller warrior threw her head back, enjoying the sensuous contact, and the warrior took full advantage, kissing and sucking at her throbbing pulse point.

"Gods, I want you Gabrielle." She sought out her partner's lips and kissed her deeply, leaving no question as to her desire on that warm, breezy afternoon in India.

"I need you, Xena...love me."

"I do, Gabrielle. Let me show you how much." Without waiting for an answer, she lowered her head to her bard's lovely assets and suckled erotically, coaxing deep moans from her smaller partner.

"Gods, Xena..."

The tall warrior then lifted her eyes to her mate's face and murmured against her sweet breast, "I haven't loved you since your hair has been short."

"It's, ahh, yes, gods...it's um...only been short half a day, Xe...Xena."

"Mmm..." The warrior slowly moved her lips down her partner's body, pausing to lick seductively at the intricate mehndi design that surrounded her navel. "Gods, I love this body art on you."

"It's uh, pretty...it's pretty hot on you too, love." She threw her head back and moaned loudly as her mate's talented tongue drew immense pleasure from her body. "Oh, gods..."

The tall, dark warrior then laid her mate down gently and covered her body with hers, reaching a long arm down to run talented fingers through golden curls. Time fell away from them then, as they lost themselves in each other for long hours.

When the full moon rose at dusk, they were still entwined...still writhing together and dancing their sacred dance. Luna, the spirit within the moon, smiled at them and winked. The warrior-shamaness looked up at her and winked back before returning her attention to enjoying her mate's delicious body.

~~~~~~~~~~

Zac gazed pointedly at his sister when she opened her eyes several hours later.

"Jesus, Sis, do you think it's a good idea for you two to sleep together in a public place like this?" His voice was serious but his eyes twinkled merrily. "I thought the poor nurse was gonna have a heart attack."

Ryan actually blushed. "It's a private room...and anyway, a girl can't help what her brain does while she's sleeping, you know." She stretched gently, trying to work out kinks that couldn't be easily worked out, and groaned as the ever-present pain reasserted itself.

"Well apparently, Ryan, both your brains were thinking the same thing." He grinned.

"Shit...," she groaned. "Sorry, Zac."

"No problem, I uh, actually kind of enjoyed it."

"Pervert!"

"Who's a pervert?" Janna mumbled as she yawned next to her mate's ear.

"Zac...apparently he enjoyed our dreams as much as we did."

"Ugh...." Janna pulled the sheet up over her head in embarrassment. A meek little voice rose from under the cover, saying, "I had a feeling that wasn't a good idea."

"Well, baby, just because I'm laid up doesn't mean we should stop living. I'm only half dead, you know." Despite her constant pain, her voice took on a coy note as she added, "As soon as I'm a little better healed, we're gonna do a lot more than dream about it...whether I'm still here in the hospital or not."

She was answered by another groan, and she grinned devilishly while her brother scowled playfully at her.

"Christ, you two." He shook his head. "Sis, I'm very happy to see that you are definitely on the road to recovery."

"Thanks, Zac." She cleared her throat gently and added, "I, um, couldn't have done it without you guys...you, Janna, John. I'm not sure I would have pulled through without you." She gave Janna's hand a squeeze under the sheet.

Janna's head reappeared and she turned onto her side to hug her mate...carefully. "It was our pleasure, love. And our joy. We love you so much." They enjoyed a gentle kiss and snuggled together contentedly as Zac looked down at his hands.

A little later, as Ryan attempted to keep down a clear, liquid meal and Janna and Zac ate cafeteria sandwiches, a pleasant face popped around the corner of the door and grinned.

"Hey, guys! How's our patient doing?" The cute curly-haired blonde asked as she entered the room.

"Sara!" Janna jumped up to greet their friend. As they hugged, Janna said, "She's doing so much better...look, they're letting her try to eat."

Ryan scowled at her friend. "Try is the operative word. Janna, honey, I don't think I can get any more down...not and have it stay down." She pushed the tray away and leaned back, groaning.

"Okay, love. That was great for your first try...you don't want to push it."

Ryan nodded lightly and looked at Sara, grinning weakly. "Hey, Sara. How's the baby?"

"He's great, Ry...how are you?" She knit her brows in concern as she gazed at her battered friend. Ryan still sported many bruises and scrapes on every visible portion of her body, and was somewhat painful to look at. Sara approached the bed and grasped her hand gently. "John says you're doing a lot better, but honestly, my friend, I'm afraid of what you must have looked like before."

Ryan grinned. "Sara, brutally honest as usual!"

"Well? How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, frankly, but a little better today...and it's better than the alternative. It sure helps to be surrounded by love." She reached for her mate's hand and pulled her close to the bed.

"I can imagine. Look, John is down in the car with the baby, so I can't stay long...I just had to see you." Her eyes teared as she added, "You gave us a terrible scare, Ry. I'm so glad to see you awake and eating and doing better. God..." Her emotions began to get the best of her and Ryan reached her other hand out to her friend and pulled her close as well. The three of them shared a quiet hug and then Sara left to send John up.

As he entered the room a few minutes later, he said playfully, "What's this about making my wife cry, Ryan? Always have to be the heartbreaker, huh?"

Ryan grinned as she wiped one of her own tears away. "Fucker."

"Ooh, she's feeling better...the real Ryan is coming out now."

That statement earned him a flipped finger and he laughed heartily.

As the evening went on, Ryan received a steady stream of visitors, most of them cops, and by the end of visiting hours, she was exhausted.

After saying goodbye to Zac for the night and giving him their house key, Janna crawled onto the bed next to her mate and settled gently beside her.

"Hmm, wasn't that cute, earlier, when John suggested that we could request a bed for me in here, and we both shouted, "No!"

Ryan chuckled quietly, "Yeah, it was. I thought he was gonna pee his pants from laughing. Asshole." She grimaced then, as she was hit by a sharp pain, and sighed. "Med's wearing off again."

"Where does it hurt, hon? I mean mostly?"

"The surgical incision is the worst right now, but the lower leg and ankle are pretty bad, too." She groaned as another pain hit. "Jesus...sorry, Janna...I don't mean to whine."

"Ryan, you're in agony...whine for God's sake. And hit the med switch, love."

"I was thinking of trying to do without...stuff gives me weird dreams." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Last night, I had a mixed up warrior dream. I was the warrior, but I was on a flying horse, and had superhuman powers. Very strange..."

"Hm, yeah, wow. Want some Reiki, then? Maybe you won't need as much morphine."

"Yeah, Janna, thanks."

"Anytime, baby. Close your eyes. Try to sleep, and I'll give you a bunch. I need some myself right now."

"Okay, baby, night."

"'Night, love. Sweet dreams."

"I'll dream of you tonight, so they will be."

-16-

Within the throes of an intense dream, Janna tossed her head on the pillow she shared with Ryan.

"Ares! Ares, I need you, now!" The small, powerfully built blonde warrior shouted at the top of her lungs as she gazed at the ceiling of the dark temple, attempting to summon the usually meddlesome god. "Gods be damned, Ares...show yourself!"

Suddenly, in a showy flash of twinkling lights, the god appeared, with a smirk plastered on his darkly handsome face. "I knew the day would come, Gabrielle, when you would call on me again." He bowed chivalrously, an absurd gesture coming from him. "How may I serve you...or, should I say, how may you ser..."

"Shut up, Ares. Xena needs your help." The warrior-bard interrupted, her face deadly serious.

The haughty god adopted a wary air as he asked, "What is it...and why isn't Xena asking me herself?"

The bard took a deep breath and sighed, swallowing the painful lump in her throat as she did so. "Because she's dead." She gazed sadly at the ground as sobs rose in her throat yet again. Looking back up, she stated, "She's dead, Ares."

"Dead. Yeah, right...if she were dead, Gabrielle, I would know about it. Try again."

"Ares, gods..." Gabrielle took a deep breath and blew her frustration out with the breath. "She is dead, Ares. It happened across the sea to the east, in Japa. It didn't happen in your realm." As she gazed at the brutal being, he could see the deep pain in her eyes. She added, "We can bring her back, Ares...I have her ashes here." See pulled the small urn from her silk robes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...wait a minute. Her ashes? Gabrielle, only Zeus could bring back a mortal from ashes, and Hercules took care of him real good, didn't he?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I really am, but I don't have the power to do it."

"Yes, you do, Ares...with the help of Aphrodite and our friend Eli." She implored him with her serious gaze.

He shook his head in disbelief, but spread his hands as he said, "Okay, this I've got to see. Let's give it a shot."

Gabrielle closed her eyes in relief and then nodded her head. "Thank you, Ares." Then she gazed at the ceiling again and called, "Aphrodite! Aphrodite, I need you... please." As the bard called on her goddess friend, the god of war stood behind her, scowling, arms crossed impatiently across his chest.

With a poof of smoke, the goddess of love appeared before her eyes. "Hi sugar! What's up?"

The god of war answered sarcastically, "Hey Sis...it's good to see you , too."

"Aphrodite, thanks for coming. I need your help. Xena's been killed, and I need your help to resurrect her." At the voluptuous goddess' look of surprise, the bard added, "It's true, Aphrodite, but you and Ares together can revive her. Please, Aphrodite..." The warior-bard implored, teary eyed.

The goddess gazed sincerely at her friend as she said, "Sure, girlfriend. Whatever I can do to help."

Gabrielle threw her arms around the goddess and hugged her tightly. "I'll be grateful to you forever."

When they separated, she nodded at Ares, who scowled again as he said, "Sure, she gets the hug. Whatever. Let's get this over with."

Gabrielle nodded again and walked to the altar set against the back wall of the temple. She carefully placed the small, black, ceramic urn upon it, her fingers lingering on the smooth clay. She gazed lovingly at it as she said, "We're bringing you back, love...please don't be upset...everything will be alright."

She took a deep breath and turned to the gods. "You'll need our friend Eli's help. He's crossed over, but is still a powerful healer. He helps to rule the kingdom of heaven." She knelt before the altar and brought her hands together in prayer.

As she prayed silently to her old friend, the air before her shimmered and the image of Eli appeared. He smiled at Gabrielle, but said nothing. Gabrielle looked back at Ares and Aphrodite and nodded. They both stepped forward and stood before the altar.

Eli closed his eyes and the air around the can containing Xena's ashes began to shimmer with energy. At the same time, Ares and Aphrodite both closed their eyes in concentration and the air around the urn became even more luminous. The urn was lifted on the currents of energy and began to glow from within. Suddenly, a golden fire shot out of the urn and hung in the air above it, coalescing into a vaguely human form.

As the energy swirled within the human-like form, it began to solidify and take shape. Gradually, Xena's body could be discerned among the fiery, golden energy. Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the fire disappeared and Xena's resurrected body hung in mid air briefly before falling to the altar with a thud.

Gabrielle gasped and rushed to her mate's side. The ghostly image of Eli smiled, then disappeared, and Ares and Aphrodite did the same, smiling as they vanished in swirls of smoke and twinkling lights.

Gabrielle gazed down at the warrior's naked, still body. Gently, she reached down and cradled her beloved's head, caressing her cheek as she whispered softly, "Xena. Can you hear me, Xena?"

She held her breath as she waited. Come on, Xena, wake up. Please, wake up.

She repeated the words aloud. "Come on, Xena, wake up. Please, wake up."

She caressed her partner's cheek again.

"Xena, please. I love you...don't leave me again. Wake up."

The tall warrior flinched, and her bard's heart jumped. "Xena! Xena, can you hear me?" She bent over, placing a gentle kiss on the warrior's lips, lingering there as if sharing life-giving warmth. She deepened the kiss, sharing her breath and her energy with her mate, and the dark warrior coughed.

"Xena, oh Xena, gods..." The bard cried, rocking her warrior in her arms. "Come back to me, Xena."

"Gabrielle." Her voice rose barely above a whisper. "I'm here, Gabrielle."

The bard pulled the warrior up into her arms and held her close, then kissed her again. This time, the kiss was returned, very lightly. The warrior-bard's warm tears bathed her warrior's cheeks as she held her close, rocking her gently.

"Xena, Xena, by the gods, Xena, I love you. I love you, Xena."

"Love you, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle looked up at the sky, to the dark god and his sister, whom she knew were observing them, unseen, and whispered, "Thank you, Aphrodite, Ares. I will never forget this."

"Ares?" The warrior asked weakly.

"I'll tell you later, love. Right now I need to get you warm. I'll be right back." The small woman left and returned a minute later with their bedrolls. She placed them near the temple's altar and then helped her partner onto them, covering her warmly. She then busied herself making a fire and soon the temple was beginning to warm perceptibly.

As her partner slept, she gathered the few scraps of food they had left in their packs and fixed a meager meal. After coaxing her mate to eat a small bit, she lay next to her and pulled her into her arms.

Xena held tightly to Gabrielle, as if not wanting to part from her again even for an instant. "Gabrielle, why? I told you that bringing me back would condemn those 40,000 souls."

"Xena, Eli came to me in a dream. He told me that no spirit had to remain tormented... that he would welcome them into his realm. He places no restrictions or limitations on any soul...all are welcome there. He said he could feel my torment at losing my soulmate and wanted to do one last thing for us." She caressed Xena's brow. "So see, those souls are alright...Xena, I had to do it. I need you so much. I know you were nearby...I could feel you...but it wasn't the same, Xena. I would rather be with you on the other side than live without you."

Xena nodded weakly. "Thank you, Gabrielle. I missed you too."

A short time later, as they lay in each other's arms, Gabrielle said softly, "Xena, it was way too close this time. I can't go through that again. I just can't." The bard mumbled against her partner's temple, "Remember when we were on the ship on our way to Japa, you said that we should take a break from this life and go away for awhile?"

The warrior nodded.

"I want to do it Xena. Let's leave as soon as you're strong enough. I don't care where we go...let's just go."

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yes." The normally strong warrior added weakly, "I'm done with this, Gabrielle. I figure freeing 40,000 souls is redemption enough. I'm ready to go away with you."

"Oh, gods, Xena..." The bard began to cry softly.

"Hey...what's that for?"

"I'm happy, Xena. You're alive, we're going away to a safe place and we're going to have a life together." She gazed into her partner's usually brilliant eyes, which were still dulled somewhat, but at least held life. "That makes me so happy, Xena."

"Me too, Gabrielle."

They held each other quietly for a few moments and then the bard softly said, "Lesbos."
"Hmm?"

"Let's go to Lesbos for the winter...as long as I can get a promise out of you that you won't be distracted by any other women." She grinned against her mate's hair.

"Gabrielle! I wouldn't." She turned to look up into her smaller mate's eyes and said seriously, "Gabrielle, you are everything that I will ever want or need. You are my soulmate...Gabrielle, you complete me." As she spoke, tears began to fall from her eyes and her mate was insured of her sincerity.

"I know that, Xena. I love you, too...always and forever."

"Always and forever, Gabrielle."

Ryan blinked her eyes awake and frowned. Jesus Christ, they get stranger and stranger. Friggin' drugs. She sighed and tried to stretch, and the pain settled in again. Fuck, when will it start to improve?

She blew out a breath and tried to settle herself more comfortably in the hospital bed. Janna stirred then and Ryan used the control to raise the head of the bed.

"Morning, honey. How are you doing?"

"Shitty, Janna. God, I can't get comfortable," she said, anger beginning to color her voice.

"Honey, maybe I shouldn't sleep with you...maybe I prevent you from moving around like you need to or from getting the rest you need."

"No, Janna, your presence is comforting...it's this god damned, fucking five hundred pound cast that prevents me from getting comfortable. And the incision in my gut." She looked at her mate and smiled weakly, adding, "Shit, baby, I don't think I can sleep without you. I'm so used to your presence."

Janna smiled. "I know, me too. I don't think I've used a regular pillow since before we met, have I?"

"Nope, that's my job now, baby. Give me a kiss, love...that'll send some of this pain away."

Janna did, and it did. They snuggled for a while, until Ryan's breakfast was delivered and then Janna got up.

A short time later, after retrieving bagels, fruit and herbal tea for herself from the cafeteria, Janna sat beside Ryan while they ate. Rather, while she ate and Ryan drank her breakfast, as she was still on a liquid diet.

"Ryan, I had a really intense warrior dream last night. It was realistic, like they always are, but it also had some very strange elements."

"What was it about?"

"Well, the intense part was where you had died, love, in Japan, I believe. The weird part was that you were resurrected and you recovered. Then we decided to go away and rest and not fight any more. I felt then just as I do now, with you recovering...just so happy and relieved that you are alive."

Ryan had listened quietly to Janna, and set her spoon down in the broth. "Shit, Janna, we did it again...we had the same dream. I thought it was the drugs that made it weird, but you saw the same things. Jesus." She shook her head and picked up her spoon again.

"What was it about, Ryan? I mean, the man and woman that helped you were gods...does that mean that the mythical gods were real? And we actually knew some of them?"

"Well, my Grandfather told me that in the ancient times, there were powerful beings, Star People, who were on the planet helping humans, and they were considered gods. Maybe that's what they were." She shook her head, confused. "I don't know, babe. Maybe the only way to find out the truth is to consult with the spirit dudes. They seem to be pretty near omniscient."

"Mm, true...but remember hon, they're the first to admit that they don't know all, and only have the experience of their own thousands of lives, along with the perspective of the plane of existence that they now exist on."

"Well, yeah, Janna, but still, compared to an earthbound human they are pretty damn near omniscient, as far as I'm concerned."

"We'll have to put that at the top of our list of questions for our next channeling session then, love." A thought struck and Janna looked at Ryan curiously. "You know, I haven't told Terry and Anna about your accident yet, but I'll bet when I do, they'll want to come right out and do a healing session. Are you up to that, honey?"

"Janna, I'd kill for a massive dose of Reiki. This pain is really starting to get me down."

"I'll give them a call, then. See if they can make it over this way soon."

"Thanks, baby." She patted her mate's thigh and sighed. "You know, it's been almost a week since we made love. I had thought that we just might go our entire lives making love every day. I'm sorry I blew that for us, Janna."

"Ryan, honey, don't worry about that. The number of times is meaningless. We'll get back into our routine soon."

"We haven't even been able to make our morning connection...I really miss that too." Ryan said sadly.

"I do too, love. Um, why don't we tomorrow? We can be discrete about it...stay under the covers. Especially if we wake up early...which isn't a problem for you. Will you feel up to it?"

Ryan's wide grin was answer enough.

Later that evening, as they were having their dinner with Zac, their entire softball team stopped by on their way to their game.

As Sharon, the manager, walked in and saw her star pitcher's battered and bruised body, with her leg in traction, she gasped, "Aw, fuck, Zamora! We're sunk...no offense Elaine," she said as she quickly turned and glanced at her backup pitcher.

Elaine laughed. "None taken, Sharon...I'm well aware that Ryan's in a league of her own."

Ryan smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, coach. And, um, I'm afraid that your second baseman isn't playing tonight either."

Sharon looked at Janna and then back at Ryan and actually almost grinned. "I didn't expect she would be. I went ahead and called a couple of the girls you scouted for me Ry." Addressing Janna, she added, "Janna, you come back when you're ready."

Ryan's jaw dropped in shock. "Somebody check Sharon's temperature...I think she's sick."

"Yeah, Ry, she's been awful mellow...we've been wondering about her too!" Carrie, the catcher, said, eliciting laughter from everyone else.

Sharon scowled, a more natural look for her. "Fuck...you...all." That received an even bigger laugh.

Ryan shook her head as she grinned, looking around at her teammates. "Jesus, there haven't been so many dykes in one room in this hospital since Jackie's wife had her baby here a few years ago!"

Janna laughed and threw her arm around her wife's shoulders, kissing her temple.

After a short, friendly visit, Sharon said, "Well, guys, we've gotta run...we have a game to win. You take care, you two. Zamora,"

"It's Norden-Zamora now, Sharon and you goddamn well know it." Ryan smiled and raised her eyebrows at her friend and coach.

"Sorry!" Sharon said dramatically. "Habit. Anyway, you get better. We're all thinking about ya."

"Thanks guys...it was good to see you. Win it for us tonight."

"It's a done deal, Ryan." Sharon said, before doing the most surprising thing she had ever done in any of the ballplayers' presence...she kissed her pitcher's cheek and gave her infielder a hug before quickly turning away.

The players all looked at each other wide-eyed and smiled at Ryan and Janna before following their coach out of the room. Carrie and Jackie, Ryan's closest friends on the team, lingered and kissed both of their friends goodbye.

Carrie held Ryan's hand as she said, "We'll come see you again in a few days and bring our wives...Michelle and Kathy both send their love."

"Thanks, Carrie. We'll see you then. Go give 'em hell!" Janna nodded her agreement and they watched their friends go.

"That was nice," Janna said as she settled Ryan's head on her shoulder.

"Yeah, God...it was good to see them...and Jesus, this must have really shaken Sharon up...I've never seen her show tenderness to anyone before."

"It's shaken everyone up, Ryan. Everyone who knows and loves you. This has been very hard, honey...you almost died, you know."

"I know." She snuggled against her wife's shoulder and let their love, and their gratitude, pass between them as they watched the sun travel toward the western horizon outside of Ryan's window. Their brother watched them, in turn, as he realized that his sister was on the road to recovery and that it was time for him to return home. He quietly thanked the Grandfathers and the spirits as a silent tear tracked down his cheek.

Two days later, on Sunday morning, he bid his sister and her wife goodbye. Ryan sent him away with the promise that she would work diligently to be able to attend his wedding in mid October. He told her that he would hold her to that promise.


Continue on to the Conclusion

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