Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

The Challenge

Conclusion

This is a sequel to my first Story, The Homecoming. It is not necessary to read that one first, however, I would recommend it, as some events and situations that take place in this Story will be better understood if you have read TH first.

Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve are owned by Pacific Renaissance/MCA Universal/USA Studios. I have only borrowed some of their identifying characteristics for this work of original Fiction.

Sexual Content Warning: This is a Story of two Women who are very much in love - with each other. There are many love scenes, and some are explicit. If you are under the age of consent where you live or have homophobic tendencies, please give this Story a miss. Thanks!

Language/Violence: Imagine Xena in the 1990's - yep, she swears. And she's a cop, so there's some violence too. This Story contains hurt/comfort elements as well.

"New Age"/Religious Content warning: I'm a "new age" kind of girl, so my characters are too. All new age/metaphysical and healing occurrences presented here are actual phenomena that I have personally experienced. By presenting my characters' religious views, I by no means wish to diminish the views of others. IMHO, each person's religious view is the "right" one (smile).

Author's note: Feedback is very much welcomed. However, flames and homophobic mail will be joyously burned in a ceremonial cleansing ritual :-) Thanks for reading! - JL, 2001

As Ryan lay quietly on the bed, with Janna sitting beside her, their friend Terry walked the perimeter of the room. She held in one hand an abalone shell with smoking bits of sage in it, while with the other hand she fanned the rising wisps of smoke with a bundle of eagle feathers.

Ryan breathed deeply, becoming quite relaxed despite her pain, and Janna smiled as she felt her mate's calm. Terry's mate, Anna, picked up on Ryan's relaxed state as well, and smiled as she leaned nonchalantly against a wall.

"Okay, guys, I think that's good." Terry said softly as she placed the still smoking shell on the dinner tray. She gazed at it for a moment and remarked, "It looks like it wants to keep burning for a while, so we'll let it."

Anna nodded as she approached the bed. Terry stood beside her on the side opposite where Janna stood and they closed their eyes, centering themselves before starting the healing session.

Just before they were ready to begin, a nurse came into the room and frowned as she detected the acrid-sweet aroma. "What..." She started to say, and Ryan opened her eyes.

"Relax...it's not what it smells like...it's sage. I'm Native American and this is one of our traditions. Please respect that."

The nurse looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded and turned to leave.

"Thank you," Ryan said sincerely, though her pain was wearing her patience thin.

The nurse half turned and smiled before exiting.

"Well done, love." Janna smiled down at her mate. Ryan grasped her hand where it lay beside her and brought it to her lips, kissing it gently.

"Are you ready, Ryan?" Anna asked.

"Yep."

Each of the three women then did the quick ritual which each used to help to call forth the energy, and then they placed their hands on Ryan's body.

Each woman knew intuitively where to begin, and Janna started at Ryan's heart and power centers. Her mate had begun to feel very confined the previous few days and Janna wanted to send her comforting, healing love as quickly as possible. Terry started on Ryan's abdominal surgery site, while her wife applied energy to Ryan's ankle. The healing continued for almost an hour, with the women changing positions as they felt a particular area was complete, until they had covered Ryan's entire body.

About half way through the session, Ryan had fallen blissfully asleep, as the energy relaxed her body while it helped to heal her. When they were finished, Janna took Anna and Terry down to the cafeteria and bought them lunch.

As Janna and Terry enjoyed salads and Anna ate a bowl of pasta with meatballs, they visited.

"Guys, thanks so much for coming out. She's been having a hard time and I know this will help her."

"We don't mind, really, Janna. You should have called us earlier, you know." Her dark-haired friend gently admonished.

"I know, Ter, but I was pretty numb myself. Trying to get by from minute to minute."

Her friend nodded sagely. "How are you doing now, Janna? This has got to be so hard for you."

Janna nodded. "It is, but I'm hanging in there. Looking after her actually takes my mind off of my own discomfort much of the time...though when she becomes difficult, it usually rears its ugly little head at the same time."

Terry nodded compassionately and continued, "Hon, did Ryan tell you what I told her when I was giving her the massage the last time you guys were over?"

Janna nodded as she took a sip of her juice. "Yes, she did. That was very interesting. Do you think it's affecting her recovery now?"

Terry nodded. "Yes, I think it is. I think she'll need lots of Reiki and maybe even a regression or two to work through those ancient wounds." Terry was referring to the fact that she had picked up on Ryan's subconscious tendency to hold onto emotional issues within her body at the sites of past-life traumatic injuries. She had apparently suffered many, many serious injuries in previous lives, or perhaps in one particular life, and those areas of her body were currently giving her major problems.

Janna nodded as Anna added, "We'll be happy to come out as often as you think she would benefit, like weekly, if you'd like."

"Thanks guys...that would be great. I'm afraid I'm not much use to her when I'm not feeling well. And anyway, you two are powerful healers."

"Janna, don't discount your abilities...you're pretty powerful yourself. But I know how it is to not feel up to running it. When I blew out my knee, I never gave any to myself...I always had to have Terry do it." She took a big bite of her pasta and then added, "Hey, you mentioned wanting an attunement while you were pregnant...is today good, or would you rather wait until you're farther along?"

"I don't know...does it matter?"

"No, it's just whatever you feel like."

"I think I'll put if off for a while then. When Ryan's better, we want to come over for some channeling...maybe we can do it then?"

Anna nodded. "Yes, sounds good."

Terry looked up from her salad and frowned as she said, "Hey, what about the Pride Parade in two weeks? Will you still be able to come out for it? Will Ryan be up and about by then?"

"Oh, God...I don't know. I had forgotten all about it. I don't imagine she will be able to travel yet. The doctor said something about using a wheelchair the first few weeks and I'd hate for her to push herself too hard too soon. I don't even know if she'll be out of the hospital by then." She sat back in her chair and frowned. "Darn. We were really looking forward to that trip. She's never been to the parade, and I was gonna try to show her a great time at all of my old haunts."

Terry's eyes sparkled as she said, "Maybe it's for the best, Janna. She's so damn gorgeous she would probably cause a riot."

Janna laughed as she said, "I can't argue with that. I must admit that I was looking forward to showing her off."

Anna grinned and punched her friend's arm before saying, "We'll just have to enjoy all the babes for you and tell you all about it later."

"Gee, thanks, guys. That makes me feel so much better." Her eyes brightened as she added, "Hey, can you take a camcorder and make a video for us?"

Her friends looked at each other and grinned. "Yeah, we'll do that...it should be fun." Terry answered with a grin.

"Just make sure you get the Dykes on Bikes...they always lead the parade and are the highlight for me." Janna giggled.

"I can't imagine why," Anna said sarcastically, "Since a good half of them are usually topless."

"Exactly!" Her eyes lit up again and she added, "Hey, Ryan would be great, wouldn't she? She's a gorgeous dyke, loves her Harley, and possesses no modesty whatsoever."

Terry fanned herself as she said with a grin, "Try and talk her into it for next year, will ya, hon?" Addressing her mate she said, "We'll have to get that tape for them hon, so she'll see what fun it is."

"You are so bad, Miss Terry." Janna said as she playfully slapped her friend's arm.

"I'm just a little ole red blooded Southern girl, Miss Janna." Terry smiled coyly and batted her eyelashes.

The rest of the lunch was finished amidst a flurry of giggles and good-natured teasing and the three friends arrived back at the room to find Ryan still sleeping peacefully after her healing session. Janna and her best friends spent the remainder of the afternoon visiting pleasantly and she saw her friends off shortly before Ryan's dinner arrived.

Later, Janna settled next to her mate, tired after the long day, and Luna, from her perch outside Ryan's window, saw her safely to sleep wrapped tightly around her wife.

-17-

As Janna approached her mate's room, she heard Ryan's voice raised in anger. Oh, no...not again. She sighed and steeled herself before entering the room.

Upon seeing her mate, Ryan whined, "Janna, where have you been? This damn woman is insisting that I take these goddamn pills and I don't want them."

"Honey, I was just down getting some lunch. And what pills are these?" She set her sandwich and juice on the tray next to the bed.

"Some goddamn stupid pain pills. I told her I'm trying to do without."

The exasperated nurse looked plaintively at Janna as she said, "Mrs. Norden-Zamora, the doctor needs to see how she responds to these, because he absolutely won't send her home until he's certain that her pain can be managed." She looked down at her patient. "And she's obviously still in a lot of pain."

"Ryan, honey, I thought we had talked about this. You agreed to give it a try."

"I agreed to talk to the damn doctor about it, Janna. The goddamn shit makes me dopey." She turned her frosty gaze to the hapless nurse again and said, "Get the goddamn doctor in here...I want to talk to him."

"I'm sorry, he won't be making his rounds until this evening."

"I don't care if he's up to his fucking armpits in surgery...call him...now!" Ryan roared, and then winced at the pain it reawakened in her body.

"Mrs. Norden-Zamora, there is no need for that kind of language in here. I will call his office and ask that they have him call the desk as soon as he's free."

"You do that. And I'll use any goddamn, fucking language I want to in here. That's why I got a private room...that and so I can fuck my wife." She sneered at the nurse's look of alarm.

"Ryan!" Janna gasped before turning to the nurse, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, she's in so much pain...we don't...in here," she stammered. The nurse simply furrowed her brows and left in a hurry.

"Janna, don't fucking apologize for me. I meant what I said and you know it."

"Ryan, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I'll call the doctor's office too and try to get him in here. But honey, please try not to treat the nurses badly. They really are doing all that they can."

"Oh, they're useless...absolutely fucking useless, Janna." She winced as a sharp pain shot from her thigh to her ankle and left a burning ache in its wake. "Fuck! Janna this damn pain is too much."

"Ryan, take some medication for it, for God's sake!" She caressed her mate's sweating brow. "You should still be on the morphine, honey. Your injuries were incredibly severe...you can't expect to be pain-free this soon...not even with the Reiki."

Ryan closed her eyes and moaned, "But Janna, as long as I still need such heavy pain killers, they won't let me go home...and I've gotta get home, Janna. I'm starting to go nuts in here." She rolled her head from side to side on the pillow. "Janna, it's been a week since the leg surgery...I'm going fucking nuts!"

Janna forgot her lunch, despite her nausea and lay down beside her wife, pulling her into her arms. She sent her soothing, loving energy through their link and began to run Reiki as well. Soon, her mate had drifted to sleep. Janna kissed her brow, which was still furrowed in pain, and said a silent prayer to the grandfathers, asking them to continue to watch over her mate. She sighed deeply. This certainly isn't going to be an easy road.

"Remember the love, Granddaughter."

I will. Thank you, Grandfather.

Later, shortly after the sun had set, Janna finished giving Ryan more Reiki and leaned over to kiss her forehead. She thought that Ryan had fallen asleep, but as she touched her lips to her mate's head, she heard a quiet, "Thanks, love."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. We'll do it again in an hour." She caressed Ryan's cheek and smiled warmly at her as she settled next to her on the bed.

"No, Janna. You don't feel up to healing me so often. I've decided to take the pills. Who knows, maybe they'll work now." She nuzzled her face against Janna's shoulder as she mumbled, "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole."

"I understand, love. Don't worry about it."

"Buzz the nurse, will ya babe? Tell her I'll take the damn things now."

When the nurse arrived some time later, Janna said to her, "We've decided to take the pain pills now."

The nurse smiled and nodded without saying a word and left to retrieve them. When she returned several minutes later, both women were asleep and she had to awaken the patient to administer the medicine.

~~~~~~~~~~

Janna awakened to lips on hers and insistent fingers trying to gain access under her panties. She smiled into her wife's kiss and threw herself around her mate...and solidly kicked her casted ankle.

"Ow!" Ryan hissed. "Shit...god...fuck..."

Janna's eyes flew open as she suddenly realized where they still were. "Ryan! God, I'm sorry! I was still half asleep." She turned toward Ryan and raised onto her elbow as she tried to console her.

"S'okay...it was a bad idea...anyway," she groaned.

"No it wasn't. Come here." Janna tried to pull Ryan close, but she resisted.

"It's okay, Janna. Can you just give me some Reiki?"

As Janna began to nod affirmatively, she was hit by a wave of nausea, and her face contorted in discomfort.

Ryan saw it and said, "Oh, shit, Janna...you're sick. Never mind." And she turned away sullenly. "I need the bedpan anyway."

"I'll get it...I'm sorry, honey."

"It's okay, Janna."

Janna rolled off the hospital bed and drowsily got to her feet. She helped Ryan take care of her business and as she walked the full bedpan to the bathroom, her stomach lurched and she barely made it to the toilet before she vomited. She got up off her knees, shook her head disgustedly, and reached for her toothbrush.

When she walked back out into the room, she heard, "You okay?"

"Yeah." She set the clean bedpan on the bedside table and stood looking at her mate. "Wonderful morning, huh?"

"Just fuckin' grand." She sighed sadly, then added, "Janna, I need to get out of this damn place...we both do." She looked tiredly at her mate. "You don't have to be here, you know. You can start sleeping at home...come in for a few hours." She looked down at her hands dejectedly.

"Ryan, I can't do that. I need to be here. I think I need it as much as you do." She turned around and grabbed her jeans and bra from the chair and went back into the bathroom to change. She came back out and smiled weakly at her wife. "I need to get some food so I don't lose it again...I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay. Hey, grab me a steak while you're there." Ryan said with a half smile.

Janna returned the smile and gave her mate a hug. "I love you, Ryan. We'll get back to normal real soon...I promise."

"I know, baby."

Janna pulled back and gazed at her beautiful wife, then her face contorted in confusion. "Hey! Why isn't your leg up in traction?"

"The nurse came in during the night and took it down...said it can be down at night now."

"Well there's some progress right there."

"Yeah."

"Except for when your wife forgets where she is and kicks you. Maybe it should be up at night and down during the day."

"Maybe...clumsy woman..." Ryan grinned lopsidedly.

"Hey!"

"Go get your breakfast and come back to me."

"I'm gone."

When Janna returned, Ryan's doctor was in the room.

"Ah, here she is." Ryan grinned at her wife.

"Morning." Janna set her breakfast on the tray and went to her wife's side.

"Good morning, Janna. I see she's making some progress in the pain department."

"Yeah, babe, I told him that the Demerol is helping some now." She looked at the doctor as she added, "Though it makes me sleepy and dopey."

"That's why they call it 'dope', Ryan. We'll get you onto something milder as soon as we can. So, ladies, I think that one or two more days of observation will be plenty and we can get you home." He lifted Ryan's gown and gazed at her incision. "Everything is looking good. You're doing okay off the catheter?"

"Yes. I've got my own private nurse here who handles the bedpan duty and sponge baths." Ryan grinned at her mate.

"And Janna, you're informing the nurse of her urine output?

"Yes."

"Good. Well, Ryan, I'd like to start you on solid foods today. We'll give that a day or two, see how you handle it and go from there. Alright?"

"Jesus...yes that's alright!"

He smiled and added, "Can I assume that since you're responding better to the pain medication that you'll be a little easier on the nurses?"

Ryan blushed mildly. "Yeah...sorry about that. I was trying to do without the pills and I guess I became Super Bitch. It won't happen again."

"I'm glad to hear that, because your body heals while you're resting and if you're not resting because of the pain, healing is reduced, obviously."

Ryan nodded.

He added, "Though I must say, your surgical incision is healing up very quickly."

Ryan threw a quick, knowing smile her mate's way and then smiled at the doctor. "Good."

"Well, ladies, I'll be in again tomorrow morning. Have a good day."

"Thanks doctor," Ryan and Janna replied in unison.

As soon as he was gone, Janna crawled onto the bed and hugged her mate. "Ryan, honey, that's great news!"

Ryan returned the hug, saying, "God, yes, baby." She looked at Janna and added, "Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel?"

"It is, I think." Janna's eyes reflected the light that they both could now see, and she kissed her wife soundly.

When they parted, Ryan said, "God, Janna, we haven't kissed like that in weeks." She sighed. "I miss loving you so much."

Janna snuggled against her mate and sighed. "I do too, love. Um, have you had your Demerol this morning?"

"Yesss..." Ryan drew out the word with a smile.

"And the nurse has been in to do your vitals?"

"Mm, hm."

"I'm feeling better, why don't we, um, try our cuddle time again?"

"Close the door and draw the curtain, baby."

Janna was up, out of her pants, and back into bed almost before Ryan could blink, and she grinned widely. "Come 'ere then, love." She reached out to her mate and was scooped into Janna's loving arms.

They kissed gently, not wanting to become overly passionate, and both reached down to connect gently with each other.

"God, Janna..." Ryan moaned into her wife's mouth.

"Mmm," was the response.

After several minutes of incredibly warm, satisfying bonding, both women began to crave more, so it was fortunate, in a way, that Ryan's partner walked into the room.

As their kiss deepened and Ryan's blood began to pound, waking up raw, sore nerve endings in the process, they heard someone clear his throat.

"Um, guys, you up?"

"John, yeah...uh, just a sec." Ryan choked out.

"Hey, Ry, if it's not a good time I can come back..."

"No, buddy, it's a good time...really...just a sec."

Ryan gazed comically into her wife's eyes and sighed. "Later, baby." She whispered before kissing her tenderly.

"Absolutely."

Janna rolled off her wife and took a deep breath before sitting up. She looked down at her mate and shook her head, grinning. "I'll need to wash that hand for you."

Ryan returned the smile and nodded.

Janna got out of bed and poked her head around the curtain. "Hi, John...could you, um, hand me those jeans there please?"

"Sure," he said as he handed them over.

"Thanks."

Janna slipped into them and struggled to zip them.

Ryan grinned as she watched. "Honey, you're ready for my shorts, I think."

"Yep, I'm afraid so...and your shirts. I think I'll run home and get some."

She emerged from behind the curtain and pulled it back to reveal a smirking John Stewart. The smirk grew wider when Janna went to the bathroom, retrieved a soapy washcloth and proceeded to wash her wife's hands.

Ryan grinned at her friend and said, "Don't say a fucking word, John."

John laughed and held up his hands innocently, shaking his head. "I had no intention of saying anything, Ry."

"That'll be the fuckin' day, John. What's up?" Janna sat next to her and Ryan pulled her close.

"I'm back on duty...thought I'd check in on my way to the station."

"That's good, bud. Who're they partnering you with?"

"I don't know...I guess I'll find out today. I truly hope it's not a clueless rookie. I'm used to working with the best." He gazed sincerely at his partner, who smiled her thanks.

"Well, John, a rookie could learn from worse. And anyway, anyone they would assign has already had some patrol training. There aren't many rookies in training now, are there?"

"I don't think so."

"Then I think you don't need to worry."

"Probably. Frankly, Ryan, I'm not looking forward to being out there with anyone other than you. We're a team...we've learned to work together like a machine...I trust you at my back. I don't want to have to build that trust with someone else, just to have you come back in a few months."

"It looks like at least six, John."

"Shit..."

"Sorry, buddy...you have no idea how much." Ryan shook her head sadly and received a squeeze from her mate.

"It's okay, Ry, don't stress about it. I'll manage. I'll be counting the days until you come back, but I'll manage." He grinned. "So, when you getting out of here?"

"Maybe day after tomorrow. If I'm a good girl." She grinned at her mate.

"Well, then, you're sunk Ryan. You'll be in here until hell freezes over."

She happily flipped him the bird as she grinned and he sat and enjoyed his doughnuts and coffee with them until it was time to leave. "I'll stop by on my way home. Janna, if you want to get out of here for a while, I'll sit with the patient."

"Thanks, John. But I just need to run home and get a few things. I think she'll be okay alone for that little while."

Ryan's expression said, "Oh, yeah, absolutely," but when Janna left several minutes later with John, she murmured quietly, imploring her mate, "Hurry back, love."

Janna kissed her sweetly and promised that she would.

Later, the nearly full moon hung gracefully in the southeastern sky as their softball team entertained Ryan and Janna again before a late game. They were regaling them with tales of the game that they had missed, and won, despite the absence of two of their best players, beating their archrivals, which was very satisfying for all.

Carrie, the stocky, short brown-haired catcher, said, "So, Ry, how long are you out of commission for?"

"Four to six months, Car."

"Shit no! You're out for the season?"

"Well, yeah, Car, I am. I figured you knew that."

"God, that sucks, Ry. I'm sorry." Jackie commented.

Sharon added, "Don't worry abut it, Ryan. Elaine is doing fine and one of the new girls is backing her up."

"Yeah, Ry...she's working me like a slave. I haven't thrown so many pitches since college."

"And it's paying off, isn't it Elaine?" The coach eyed her pointedly.

"Yeah, but Jesus, Sharon...my arm kills me the next day."

"Well we appreciate it, Elaine. Thank you." Janna said sincerely.

Everyone shared a nice visit and Ryan assured them both that their second baseman would return soon and that she herself would be making it out to watch soon thereafter.

Shortly after the team left, Sam and Georgie stopped by after a dinner out.

As her Captain walked in, Ryan, having recently received a dose of Demerol boomed happily, "Cap! Georgie!"

Janna grinned next to her. "We're still on the happy pills!"

Their friends both grinned. "Hell, whatever works. You look a hell of a lot better than you did a week ago, Ryan."

"Thanks, Cap." Ryan looked at Janna briefly, then back at her friends as she said sincerely, "Last week, I don't think I thanked you two for being so supportive of Janna when this happened. I really appreciate it. Thanks."

Georgie waved her hand at Ryan and said, "Oh, hon...that's what friends do. I'm glad I was able to help."

"Georgie, I can't thank you enough either. You were so there for me." Janna looked at Ryan and added, "She even helped me to send you Reiki when you were so critical."

Ryan's mouth dropped open. "Georgie...thank you so much. Come 'ere." She held her arms open and her friend accepted a warm hug.

"It was no trouble, Ryan. I was happy to do it."

Ryan eyed her Captain. "And Sam, you took good care of my wife for me the night it happened. I couldn't ask for more from a friend. Thank you."

"Just doing my job, Norden-Zamora."

"Yeah, okay, Sam...thanks anyhow."

"What's the prognosis as far as returning to work?" He changed the subject.

"It's too soon to know, Cap. I'd like to return to desk duty, at the very least, as soon as possible. But right now, the doctors aren't telling us much past getting me home in a few days."

"A few days, hell, Ryan, that's great!"

Ryan beamed. "You have no idea how great, Cap! I'll be in a wheelchair for a few weeks, but shit, at least I'll be home." She looked to her mate and picked up her hand. "We'll be home."

Janna nodded happily.

"Ryan, let me tell you something. I broke my leg playing football in college...a bad break, like yours...and I found out that I couldn't dwell on what I couldn't do. I had to focus on the things that I could do. Took me a while to figure it out, but once I did, I was a lot happier." He nodded at his friend to emphasize his point.

"That's good advice, Sam. I'll definitely keep it in mind." She looked at Janna, who nodded her agreement.

When they left a short time later, Janna saw them out and as Georgie hugged her she stood back and grinned. "You look so cute in Ryan's shirt, Janna. It's almost a dress on you."

Janna looked down at herself and laughed. "Yeah, can you tell that I have shorts on underneath?" She lifted the police t-shirt to reveal a pair of Ryan's biking shorts.

"Oh, my, honey...you're starting to show!" Georgie exclaimed happily as she patted Janna's little tummy.

"Yep, hence the reason for wearing Ryan's clothes. I graduated out of my jeans just this morning." Janna beamed up at her taller friend.

"And you're glowing, too, Janna." She sighed. "Oh, I just loved being pregnant...and don't worry, you'll feel better very soon and then you'll just love it so much...especially when the baby starts to move."

Janna's eyes twinkled merrily as she replied, "I can't wait, Georgie." She looked back at her wife. "We're both so excited."

"I can see that. Honey, you couldn't have chosen a better partner, as far as I'm concerned. She'll be a wonderful parent."

"I know." They hugged once more and then their friends left, with a promise to visit soon after Ryan returned home.

Later, their friend in the sky glowed brilliantly outside of Ryan's window, filling the room with a comforting glow as they lay together in bed.

Janna cradled Ryan's head against her shoulder and idly played with the front of her hospital gown. Ryan grabbed the playful hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed each finger and then gently sucked Janna's index finger into her mouth. Janna gasped at the intimate touch and rose onto her elbow, looking down at her mate. Slowly, she leaned down and captured Ryan's lips softly. They kissed tenderly, enjoying the contact that they had missed so much over the previous two weeks.

Janna broke the kiss and then leaned in for another before pulling back and asking, "How do you feel, love?"

"Not too bad, Janna...you?"

"Pretty good."

"You want to close the curtain, babe?"

"I do."

"Please do, then."

Janna did so and removed her t-shirt before climbing naked back onto the bed. Ryan's sharp intake of breath was audible.
"God, Janna, it's been way too long since I've seen that beautiful sight."

"For me too, Ryan." She leaned forward and gently pulled Ryan to a sitting position so that she could untie her gown in the back. She did so and pulled it off, leaving Ryan sitting before her clad only in the bandaging around her ribs, which unfortunately covered her breasts from the nipples down.

Janna gently traced a fading bruise on Ryan's torso and then leaned down to kiss it. Ryan gasped and pulled Janna up into her arms, where she kissed her passionately. They spent several very pleasant minutes tasting each other before Janna gently pushed Ryan down onto the bed and gingerly leaned over the top of her and kissed her again.

"Mmm, Janna, I want you baby." Ryan mumbled sexily into her mouth.

"I want you too, Ryan...me first, okay?"

"Yes, baby." Ryan gasped as Janna's soft lips moved down to her throat. She tilted her head back and ran her hands through Janna's hair as she enjoyed the sensuous contact.

Janna nibbled and tasted her wife as if she hadn't partaken of her pleasure in months, rather than fewer than two weeks. "God, love, you taste good."

"Mmm..."

Janna's lips continued their journey downward and when she reached a bound breast, she kissed it tenderly and said, "Does that hurt, love?"

"No, baby. Do it some more please."

Janna smiled against Ryan's breast and commenced a more ardent caress, eliciting moans from her mate. As she ran her tongue along the unbound curve of Ryan's upper breast, a hard nub appeared under the brown bandaging below it, and Janna tended to it passionately. She slipped her tongue partially under the wrap and tasted a velvety nipple before moving her mouth to the opposite breast and treating it equally, slowly running her fingers down Ryan's torso as she did so.

When she reached Ryan's dark curls, her mate flinched. Janna looked up quickly, asking, "Did I hurt you, love?"

"God, Janna, no...the opposite. I'm just incredibly turned on. Your touch is like fire."

Janna smiled, feeling the electricity within her own body as well, and bent her head back to it's task while her fingers sought out sensitive nether regions. Ryan gasped as her hips bucked when Janna gently entered her.

"God, baby, you're already so close."

Ryan panted, "It's been a long time, baby."

Janna stroked her gently, lovingly, bringing her wife to full arousal within mere seconds. She began stroking her mate rhythmically, matching her mouth's rhythm above. After long minutes, as she continued to fondle and stroke Ryan's inner folds, she moved her mouth off the breast it was loving and kissed her way down to join her fingers.

At the first stroke of her mate's tongue, Ryan lost control of her hips and they bucked rhythmically of their own accord, as much as they could under the weight of the adjacent cast.

"God, Janna, yes...baby, yes," she began to moan. After another few minutes, her muscles began to contract and Janna stroked her deeply with both tongue and finger, while her thumb tended to the hard little bundle of nerves at the top, and Ryan began to moan loudly. Janna quickly disengaged her mouth and moved back up to capture Ryan's mouth with hers, silencing her cries. Her mate's release came quickly then, and she moaned loudly into Janna's mouth, gasping deeply for air.

"Oh, fuck, Janna...fuck," she panted.

Janna kissed her sweetly and asked, "Did you like that, baby?"

"Oh, God...yes." Ryan winced slightly through her satisfied smile.

Janna's brows knit in concern. "Are you hurting?"

"Yes...but it was...so worth it."

"Where are you hurting, Ryan?"

"My...ribs...Jesus, it's killing me to breathe." She gasped.

"Christ!"

"It's okay, I just need...need to catch my breath. Then it's...my turn."

"No, Ryan. We're done." Janna said emphatically.

"Janna, yes! Please? I need...to taste you, baby." She looked up at her wife, passionate blue eyes imploring her seriously. "Please?"

Janna caved, of course, under pressure from the beautiful blue eyes. "You can have a taste, but I will not let you tax yourself."

Ryan grinned happily and tried to take a deep breath, but winced instead as it wouldn't come. "Fuck this."

"Lie still and take it easy for awhile."

"Yes, doctor."

Janna held Ryan tenderly until her breath no longer came in ragged gasps and the lines from the pain no longer creased her brow.

"I'm ready, love. Let me love you, Janna," she said softly.

"Okay, but let me do all the work." Janna insisted.

"It's a deal...since I can't really move much anyway. I want to taste you, love. Sit on my face?"

"My pleasure!" Janna grinned and then moved into position. Ryan delved immediately into her dessert and Janna gasped aloud, "Oh, my God!"

"You're close too, baby."

"That's because I'm married to the sexiest, most beautiful...woman...on the...oh, God...planet. Oh, God, Ryan...yes!"

Ryan smiled against Janna's soft, sweet cleft as her mate began to moan her pleasure. She began to rock against Ryan's mouth and quickly succumbed to the loving barrage. As she climaxed and her juices were released, they both moaned loudly at their combined pleasure.

Janna sat above Ryan, holding onto the bed rail as she caught her breath, and shortly crawled back down to embrace her mate. They kissed deeply and then rested, both utterly sated.

A few minutes later, Ryan mumbled, "It took me a long time, didn't it? Must be the drugs. Make me horny as hell, then dull my senses."

"It must be that, honey...you did take a lot longer than normal. But it was good, wasn't it?"

"Oh, God, yes, Janna. Incredible...when I finally came. That's another reason for going off the drugs as soon as possible." She grinned against Janna's chest.

"Mm, yep," Janna replied sleepily as she pulled the sheet up over their bodies and hugged her mate tightly. "We needed that, Ryan."

"Mm."

Grandmother Moon smiled, as she saw that her friends had taken an important step toward healing. She knew that the road ahead of them contained more bumps and hidden curves, but they were negotiating it very well. Well done, my friends. Rest well.

-18-

Janna supervised the positioning of the bed and checked her watch. Three hours. I need to get back to her. She felt an acute anxiety at having left Ryan alone for so long and was anxious to return to her. Jesus Christ...who's attached to whom? She grinned at the realization of how much she needed to be with her soulmate and shook her head.

"Okay, ma'am...here's the paperwork," said the beefy deliveryman as he handed over a packet of papers.

"Thanks. I guess all the instructions are self-explanatory?"

"Yep...it's all there. Any questions?"

"Nope, I don't think so. Thanks."

"Thank you Ms. Norden-Zamora. Good luck to you."

Janna smiled and nodded before seeing the man and his partner out. When she returned to the family room, she surveyed the new layout. The large hospital bed now sat against the wall where the sofa used to be, and the two nightstands from their bedroom sat to either side of it. Looks good...it's not too big for the room at all. She sat on the end of the bed, testing it. Comfy...good. I think this will work well. I hope she doesn't mind that I didn't consult her on this.

She gazed around the bright, pleasant room, enjoying their collection of Native American art and artifacts. I think she'll be very comfortable in here...with the stereo and the TV...instead of being stuck in the guest room in the back. And if she's happy and comfy, then I will be, too.

She sighed, hopped off the bed, and made her way to the front door, grabbing her backpack and keys as she went. After locking the door, she walked down the new wheelchair ramp, testing its strength. The attractive structure was well built and solid, attesting to her brother's craftsmanship, and she smiled, pleased. She turned and gazed at the lovely sunshine-yellow Victorian-era home that she shared with Ryan. Tomorrow. We'll be back home tomorrow. Finally.

Ten minutes later, she strode through the door into Ryan's room, to find her mate watching TV. Ryan's face lit up when she saw her mate, matching Janna's.

"Hey, baby...there you are. Didja get everything done?"

Janna set her backpack down and kissed her wife before climbing onto the bed and parking herself next to her.

"Yep. Everything's all set. Dan did a super job on the ramp."

"I'll bet. The man is talented." She lay her head against Janna's shoulder as they reclined and tried to settle her cast more comfortably in it's sling.

"I'll tell ya, Janna, one of the best things about going home is gonna be getting out of traction. This is murder on my butt."

"Well, honey, Miss Bicycle Athlete, you don't have much padding back there, you know. Not like I do."

Ryan grinned. "Oh, yeah, Janna, you're just huge."

"I have more butt than you do, love."

"It's a perfect little ass, I'll tell you that."

Janna smiled. "Thank you, love. When did you last have some Demerol?"

"'Bout a half hour ago."

"Mm, hm...thought so. Let's take a nap before dinner, huh? I'm tired."

"Okay, babe. Sounds good."

Janna left her mate briefly to shut the blinds and pull the curtain around the bed, then put the head of the bed down and joined her wife in slumber for a few hours.

The next day, by mid-morning, Ryan was becoming extremely antsy. "Janna, Jesus...where's the damn doctor? I can't leave until he signs me out...he said last night that I can go home today if my pain isn't too bad. I've had two doses of the Percodan since the middle of the night and I'm okay...where the fuck is he, Janna?" She sighed deeply as frustration twisted her usually pleasant features.

Janna doubted that Ryan felt as okay as she claimed, but tried to be understanding as she said, "Honey, I'm sure he'll be in as soon as he can."

Ryan continued her whine. "He fucking well better be, Janna, or I'm gonna commit murder. If I have to spend one more night in this God damned place, I swear to God, I'll kill the prick."

"Ryan, for God's sake, calm down. Let me go check with the nurse again." She sighed as she left the room, and nearly ran into the doctor.

She smiled weakly at him. "Boy am I glad to see you. My wife needs to get home." She shook her head ironically as she added, "And I'm sure your staff would agree."

He nodded as he smiled and guided Janna back into the room. "Ryan...I hear you're ready to go home."

"Christ, Doc, I sure am."

"How's the pain today?"

"Manageable."

"Your stomach isn't upset?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Let me give you a quick check and I'll sign the release forms."

Ryan sighed her relief as her wife beside her smiled. As the doctor gently palpated her ribs, Ryan winced. He gazed down at her apologetically and said, "Sorry...I'm afraid ribs take a long time to heal."

"Yeah...and I'll have to try to remember not to overexert myself...that deep breathing is killer."

He looked at her questioningly and asked, "And have you overexerted yourself while you've been in here?"

She actually blushed mildly and shrugged as she looked sheepishly at her wife, giving him all the answer he needed. As he turned away to write in her chart, he was grinning.

After giving them thorough instructions as to Ryan's care, including the necessity of staying off the leg completely for two to three weeks, he hugged both women and wished them well. As he left, he said he would send the nurse in with a wheelchair.

Janna smiled down at her mate, then turned and glanced around the room. There were potted plants and vases of flowers on every surface, filling the room, as well as colorful balloons and boxes of candy. "Honey, I asked my mom and Dan to come help us get all of this stuff home, but do you mind if I send the balloons down to pediatrics?"

"Not at all, baby. Why don't we leave the flowers, too? Just keep the cards. There might be people here whose rooms can use some brightening."

"That's a good idea, love. I'll check with one of the nurses...she can probably call one of the nuns. I'm going to call my mom...I'll be right back."

As she lay waiting to return home, Ryan reflected on the turn of fate that had so drastically changed her life, at least temporarily. Among other things, she would take home with her the knowledge that she had the benefit of the love and support of wonderful friends and coworkers. Then there was her devoted mate. She began to cry softly as she considered the depth of Janna's devotion to her. She was nearly overwhelmed by the fact of the depth of Janna's love and sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Universe for her great blessing. She was so fully here for me. She spent nearly every second here by my side, even when I was a total fucking asshole. I am so blessed. So very blessed.

"Always remember the love, Granddaughter," her grandfather's voice rang clearly in her mind.

I will, Grandfather. Thank you. I love you, Grandfather.

She sighed deeply, and wiped her tears when she heard Janna and a nurse approaching her room.

Janna said cheerily, "Okay, love, we can go home. We'll leave the flowers and balloons, and they'll be distributed by the nuns and pink ladies. I do want to take the plants though, so my mom and Dan are on their way to get them."

"Great, Janna, let's go."

The nurse stepped up to the bed and said, "Mrs. Norden-Zamora, your wife has all of the post-op and recovery instructions, as well as your pain pills. The surgeon's office will be calling to schedule an appointment for a week or so from now for a checkup. Now, you have a wheelchair at home, right?"

"Yes." Janna replied. "Ready and waiting."

"Good. Then you're all set. Do you have any questions?"

Ryan answered, with a rakish grin, "Just one. How happy are you all to see me leave?"

The nurse laughed. "Not as happy as you'd think, probably. You were a walk in the park compared to some patients. And we fully realize how excruciating pain affects people. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, but I want to say that I'm really sorry with how I acted at times. I know I embarrassed my wife a few times."

"Actually, Ryan, we'll miss you. You take care. Drop by and visit us."

"We'll do that...in December when our baby comes. I should be back on my feet by then." She reached out to shake the nurse's hand, but received a hug instead, and then several other nurses came in and did the same.

As she was wheeled down the hallway, with Janna beside her carrying her belongings, a number of staff greeted them and wished them well. When they reached the elevator, they ran into Beth and Dan and more hugs were exchanged before Janna's mother and brother left to empty the room.

When they reached the lobby, Janna was about to go ahead to pull the Explorer to the front curb, when several people wearing press badges approached them.

One man, who was followed by a TV camera operator, said, "Officer Norden-Zamora?"

At Ryan's confused, affirmative nod, he continued, "I'm Rick Ibanez, from Channel Three...do you feel up to a few words?"

"I guess so, sure." She looked up at Janna, who stood by her side.

"Thank you. I'd like to record a short piece for tonight's broadcast. I'll do a short lead in and then I'll ask a few questions. Okay?"

Ryan nodded, as Janna added, "Please make it brief. She's anxious to get home."

The friendly-faced man nodded and asked, "And you are...family?"

"Wife." Ryan replied matter-of-factly, her tone daring the man to question the statement.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Norden-Zamora," the seasoned pro replied, before turning to face the camera. "Okay, Joe, let's roll."

He began, "I'm here with Officer Ryan Norden-Zamora, the Stockton police officer who was run down almost two weeks ago during a vice raid that netted the county over two million dollars in drugs and guns. Officer Norden-Zamora shot and killed the two leaders of the ring before their car went out of control and hit her, and is being credited with almost single-handedly stopping the two extremely dangerous, wanted felons. She sustained life-threatening injuries and was listed in critical condition for one week."

He turned to Ryan and said, "Officer Norden-Zamora, congratulations on your release from the hospital. What exactly were your injuries?"

Ryan faced the camera with grace and replied, "Thank you. But first, I would like to say that I did not single-handedly stop the suspects. I was part of a very large team effort, and my partner, John Stewart, actually disabled their car so that I could get clear shots at them. As far as my injuries, I suffered a broken leg and ankle, a ruptured spleen, a dislocated shoulder and a few broken ribs." She grinned winningly and added, "Just a hard day at the office."

The reporter chuckled and added, "Are you aware that you have been cited for bravery and valor, and are being spoken very highly of in local law enforcement circles?"

Ryan blushed mildly and looked down briefly before looking back up and answering, "No, I wasn't aware of that. I'm honored." She felt Janna's warm hands on her shoulders, communicating her love and pride.

"Are you aware also, that local and national gay and lesbian groups are hailing you as a hero and a shining example of a gay American?"

Fuck. "No, I didn't know that. Um, I must say that I was simply doing my job, and I'm very honored to serve my community, including my own gay and lesbian community." She looked over her shoulder at Janna, and added, "I would like to publicly thank St. Joesph's hospital and all of its staff for the tremendous care I received, and for treating my wife and myself with the dignity afforded any married couple. It was very much appreciated."

"So, you suffered no discrimination based on your sexual preference?"

"On my sexual identity...no. My wife and I were treated fairly and with dignity and she was allowed to stay by my side throughout my stay."

With that, Janna stepped forward and politely said, "If that's all, we'd like to get home. Ryan is still recuperating and needs her rest."

"Of course, thank you very much. This is Rick Ibanez for Channel Three Reports."

As soon as the red light on the camera went out, Ryan blew out her breath and looked at the reporter. "I'm glad we're already out, dude, or that would have been extremely uncomfortable."

The reporter shrugged and said, "It's been widely reported that you and your wife are active members of the gay and lesbian communities both here and in San Francisco. Your story has been of great interest. I'm sorry if I sprung it on you unaware."

Ryan half-smiled. "That's okay. We just didn't know. We both have been pretty out of it."

Janna nodded her agreement. After the reporter thanked them and shook their hands, three more reporters, one television and two newspaper, stepped up and Ryan repeated her words verbatim from the first interview.

When they finally reached the car, and Ryan, with Janna's assistance, had lifted herself into the back seat, she blew out a breath and said, "What the fuck was that, Janna?"

"You got me, Ryan. John mentioned that you had been on the news, but I haven't watched any TV, or read a paper, since the accident, so I had no idea it had reached these proportions. Jesus." She started the Explorer and began the short drive home.

After a few moments, she said quietly, "Um, you know, honey, that there may be some backlash against you from the religious right...I don't think that they will appreciate the fact that you referred to me as your wife during a news interview."

"You know what, baby? I couldn't care less about the assholes and how they think. Bring 'em on." She lay her head back against the window and breathed deeply to try to dispel the excruciating pain that was setting in again. Time for another pain pill already. Not that they do any good.

Janna felt a flash of Ryan's pain through their bond and winced. I need to get her to bed. I hope no one decides to come by for a visit today. She pulled into the driveway, saying, "We're home, love."

Ryan opened her eyes and was heartened beyond belief at the sight of their home, which sat behind the lovely, flower-filled yard. Home. "Yes, we are, love."

-19-

Ryan slid carefully from the back seat to the ground, into Janna's arms, who then sat her carefully in the wheelchair she had parked next to the truck. She carefully raised the leg extension on the chair and gently lifted Ryan's cast-encased leg onto it, gazing down into her mate's eyes as she did so.

"That okay, honey?"

"Yep."

"Good. Let's get you inside."

"Just a minute, Janna. Let me enjoy the fresh air for a bit." Ryan tilted her head back and enjoyed the feeling of the sun on her face, and breathed deeply of the late-spring, flower-scented air. "God, babe, that feels nice. I had missed the sky...and the sun." She looked around at the impeccable yard. "Who's been taking care of the yard?"

"Dan and the kids."

Ryan smiled. "I'll bet Robbie's been a big help." She held a real soft spot for her four-year old nephew.

"Yeah. When I was here yesterday he had his little play mower and was following his Dad around as he mowed the lawn. It was the cutest thing." She grinned.

"I want to see the pictures, Janna."

Janna put her hands on her hips mock-indignantly and asked with a smile, "Now, how do you know I took pictures?"

"Because, babe, I know you better than I know myself. Besides, how do you make your living?"

"Taking pictures."

"I rest my case. Wheel me around back?" She looked up at her wife adorably.

Janna grinned. "Sure."

She pushed Ryan along the driveway around to the back of the house and parked her beside the deck.

As Ryan gazed around their comfortable yard, her gaze rested on the lovely gazebo next to the house, and she sighed.

Somewhat sadly she said, "I won't be able to enjoy that for quite some time, will I, love?"

"Honey, let's just think about how nice it will be when we can use it again, okay?" She leaned down and kissed the dark head in front of her.

"What's this, 'we', Janna?" She looked back and up at her mate.

"I'm not using it without you."

"That's silly, Janna."

"Ryan, it wouldn't be the same, and if you can't enjoy it, neither can I. Besides, is it any sillier than giving up alcohol and caffeine because your wife is pregnant?"

Ryan just gazed at her with a wide-eyed look of amusement. Finally, she grinned and shook her head. "I guess not."

"Come on, love. Let's get you settled, and then I need to go to the grocery store. There is no food in this house."

"Okay, yeah. I am pretty tired."

Janna turned her around and wheeled her around to the ramp in front. "I wonder if we should put a ramp there in back, too?"
She wondered aloud and then looked at Ryan. "So you can go out in back."

"I wouldn't bother, hon. I can use the front ramp and go around. I'll probably be glad to get the exercise. Anyway, I don't need to go farther than the deck in this thing, do I?"

"I guess not."

As they rolled up the walkway, their unfriendly neighbor could be seen working on a flower bed next to their property line.

"Afternoon!" Ryan called, smiling.

The woman pointedly ignored the cheerful greeting, but her little girl, Michaela, ran to the fence and called happily, "Hi Janna. Hi Officer Ryan!"

"Hi Michaela!" They called in return as her mother scowled. Just then, the woman's husband exited their garage and walked to the fence.

"Officer...welcome home."

Ryan held her shock in check as she replied with a warm smile, "Thanks, and it's Ryan."

He nodded. "Ryan. Good luck to you." He smiled at each of them and then glanced pointedly down at his wife and returned to his garage. "Micki, come help Daddy, please."

"Okay, Daddy. Bye Janna, bye Officer Ryan!"

"Goodbye Michaela," they called warmly in unison.

Janna smiled and shook her head as she unlocked the front door and pushed it open.

"Janna, one day soon, I'm afraid I'm gonna give that damn woman a piece of my mind."

"Honey, don't make waves. You'll just give her more ammunition. Let's not play her game, huh? Her game sucks." She pushed Ryan into the front room and stopped in the entranceway.

"Janna, what's this?" Came the shocked response.

"This is our bedroom for the near future. You can't make it up the stairs anytime soon, and I didn't want you stuck in the back guest room, so I fixed us up in here." She walked around and knelt in front of Ryan. "Don't you like it?"

"Um, yeah...I like it...a lot. Thank you honey." She grasped Janna's hand. "That was very thoughtful, Janna."

"Honey, your comfort means a lot to me. Here you have the TV, the stereo, a nice bed, all your books. It wasn't a hard decision." She moved back behind the chair and pushed Ryan over to the bed. "Come on. Let's get you settled."

Ryan nodded and Janna engaged the chair's brakes. "Look, the bed lowers to make it easy to get in and out of the chair. She showed Ryan the bed control and depressed it, lowering the bed.

"Excellent, Janna," Ryan said as she used her strong arms to lift herself out of the chair and onto the bed, wincing as she did so. Janna helped swing her heavy leg on to the bed.

"That hurt, huh?"

"Yeah, my damn ribs." She blew out a breath. "I think it's about time for a pain pill, too, Janna."

"It hasn't been four hours, honey."

"I'm taking them every three, Janna."

Janna gazed at her with concern, but nodded. "I'll get them out of the truck. Be right back."

When she returned, she caught Ryan grimacing in agony and trying to take a deep breath.

"Here you go, love." She said as she entered the room. Ryan quickly wiped the agonized look from her face and tried to smile.

"Thanks, Janna." She said as Janna handed her the pill and a bottle of water.

Jesus, she's still hurting badly. She lied about that. Janna took a deep breath, feeling rather dejected, but buried the emotion and put on a cheerful face for her wife. "Any special requests for dinner, love?"

"No, hon. Whatever you feel like. Don't go to any trouble." She gazed compassionately at Janna as she added, "Janna, I don't expect you to cook when you don't feel well. We can do take out...every night if you want. You know that's no problem as far as I'm concerned."

Janna smiled and brushed Ryan's hair from her eyes. "I know, honey...you'd have no problem with In and Out Burgers every night. We may do a lot of take out until I feel better...cooking is very hard when I'm nauseous, and the kitchen odors..." She scrunched up her nose and frowned.

"I know, Janna, so you take it easy too. I expect you to spend a lot of time resting in this big bed with me." She looked down at the massive bed. "This thing is huge, Janna!" She grinned jauntily up at her mate and added, "Plenty of room for fun, too."

"Ryan, you are so incorrigible! Barely home five minutes and already thinking about sex. You get some rest and we'll discuss it later."

"Yes, ma'am."

Janna leaned over and kissed her. "That's my girl. I'm going to the store. Be back in a bit."

"Bye, love. Be careful."

Janna grinned. "Always."

Ryan winced and quietly said, "I've heard that one before...and so have you. Look how true it was." She looked down at herself and sighed.

Janna went back to her and gave her a warm, loving hug. "I love you, Ryan. Rest now."

As she pulled the Explorer out of the driveway, Janna thought, her emotions are so much closer to the surface right now. I'll need to watch my step. She sent a burst of love to her mate through their link, and felt it return. She smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Janna, hurry up...it's starting," Ryan called from her bed.

"I'm coming!" Her mate replied as she came down the hallway, juggling a large bowl of popcorn and two bottled juices. She handed the big bowl to Ryan and set her juice on the table beside the bed, then climbed up next to her mate.

Janna grinned as she saw the parade beginning. "Cool, just in time. Honey, this first group is the highlight of the entire parade for me." She uncapped her mango juice and took a sip.

Ryan read the banner at the start of the parade. "Dykes on Bikes?" She looked at Janna, amazed. "They're serious?"

"Yes! Why wouldn't they be?" Janna looked comically at her mate. "Honey, it is San Francisco, and it is the Pride Parade, so most everything is done tongue in cheek, but that is a legitimate group, and they always begin the parade. Ooh, look, here they come!"

Janna's enthusiasm was infectious, and Ryan grinned happily as she took a handful of popcorn. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head moments later, however, when a Harley sporting two bare-breasted women was featured prominently on the screen.

"Jesus, Janna! Can they show that on local TV?" She looked at her mate wide-eyed.

"Yep! They always do. Though, I'm usually there enjoying it in person." She smiled. "Good old channel 20."

"I'll bet you are...enjoying it, I mean. Is that typical? I mean, is there lots of nudity?"

"Oh, my God, honey...it's San Francisco. Of course! Ryan, even the non-queer events usually feature open nudity. Like the Bay-to-Breakers Race. Oh, God, what a blast that is to see!"

Ryan looked at her mate as if she were seeing an entirely new side to her. "Janna, have you ever been nude in public there?"

"No...well, um, sort of, once." She giggled.

"No fucking way, Janna! My modest little girl?"

"Honey, it was years ago and I was incredibly drunk. I, um only know about it because my friends took pictures. I don't actually remember it." She looked sharply at Ryan as she added, "Anyway...what do you care? You have no modesty whatsoever, Mrs. Norden-Zamora! I can totally see you topless on one of those bikes, Ryan!"

"Oh, hell no! No fuckin way, babe...I'm an officer of the law, for Christ's sake!"

"Honey, no one would know that. And anyway, it's all in the spirit of fun and freedom."

Ryan took a sip of her juice as she eyed the screen and muttered, "There's such a thing as too much freedom."

"Ryan! I'm surprised. I really thought you might be able to get into something like that." She pointed to the screen showing the very large contingent of women on motorcycles.

Ryan gazed thoughtfully at the TV Screen. "Well, I might sort of enjoy us riding our bike, but topless? I don't know, Janna."

"Honey, it's a political statement. You know, 'We're here, we're queer, we're strong, we're independent, deal with it'."

"Hm, I guess." She looked sideways at Janna and grinned jauntily as she added, "I definitely wouldn't mind being surrounded by all those tits."

"Yeah, there is that, too!" She returned the grin, but slapped her mate lightly. "Maybe taking you there isn't such a good idea."

Ryan grinned, but sobered quickly as she added, "I'm sorry we couldn't make it this year, baby. I know how much you wanted to go. March, see your old friends, show me your old hangouts. I really am sorry, Janna."

"It's okay, Ryan...you couldn't help that. We can see it on TV and not have to deal with the wall-to-wall humanity. And honestly, the sheer number of big, swinging penises can be a little overwhelming."

"Oh, yeah? I'll bet Jay and Doug have a great time!"

"Oh, Jesus...you have no idea. You'll find out next year. What an experience that is! Last year I rode on the AIDS Crisis Center float with them. I think I actually blushed a few times. But, God, it was great." She sighed, and Ryan's sense of dejection at disappointing her mate was renewed.

Fuck. I have really let her down. Fucking asshole. Stupid, arrogant, fucking asshole. She sighed deeply and spared a quick glance at her mate. Janna's face lit up with a smile just then, as the queer family legion marched by.

"Honey...there we are...next year." She looked at Ryan and nodded toward the screen. "How about it?"

Ryan gazed at the gay and lesbian couples marching joyfully with their children, many of whom were being pushed in strollers. Sure...if I haven't gotten myself killed in the line of duty by then. Shit...I need another fuckin' pain pill already. She was so lost in her morbid thoughts that she didn't answer Janna, and then Janna felt her melancholy through their link.

"Ryan...honey? Don't get down on yourself, please? It's not a big deal. The way I've been feeling, I don't think I'd have an enjoyable day out in the fog all day, marching, dealing with the crowds, fighting for a toilet, trying to find food." She grabbed Ryan's hand and caressed it. "This year I'm much better off watching it from here."

Ryan gazed at her sadly. "If you say so, Janna." She returned her gaze to the screen and continued to wallow in self-loathing, spurred on by the chronic pain that was returning vengefully. God damn this fuckin' pain!

"Honey, do you want some Reiki?" Janna asked softly. She was feeling Ryan's pain as stabbing sensations in her own leg and chest.

"No, Janna. Just watch the parade. Maybe you'll see some friends."

Oh, boy. Here comes the self-pity and hatred again. Jesus! Janna sighed as she wondered what tack to take to counter Ryan's sudden sour mood.

"Janna. I can feel that you're worrying about me. Stop it, please. I don't deserve it."

Janna counted to three but said what was on her mind anyway. "What do mean you don't deserve it?"

Ryan blew out a breath. "Never mind. I don't feel like talking about it right now. Just watch the parade."

Janna counted to ten and then just sighed and checked her watch. Silently, she got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a bottle of water, which she handed to Ryan with a Percodan tablet when she returned. "If you won't take Reiki, at least take your pain medicine." She returned to the bed and sat quietly by her mate's side.

"Alright." Ryan downed the pill and looked sheepishly at her mate. "I'm sorry...I'm not trying ruin your show."

Janna said nothing, but picked up Ryan's hand and laid it in her lap. They spent the remainder of the afternoon watching the Pride festivities in a less than jovial mood.

~~~~~~~~~~

One week later.

"Oh yes, Janna...fuck me, baby...make me forget," Ryan moaned. She rolled her head on the pillow as Janna stroked her deeply. "Make me forget, baby."

Janna kissed her again and inserted a third finger, knowing her mate loved to feel her fully inside of her on occasion.

"God, yes! More, baby...your fist...please," she panted.

Janna took a deep breath and relaxed, sending calming energy to Ryan through their link. She felt Ryan's body relax and then her own arm and hand relaxed and she gently inserted the fourth finger, then slowly made her hand as long and as narrow as she could, tucking her thumb inside her hand, and slowly, gingerly slipped her hand completely inside her lover. With great care, she slowly opened her hand, filling her wife's soft, warm cavity. She gently, slowly flexed her hand, feeling Ryan's velvet-smooth walls envelope it.

"Oh, shit...yes, Janna...yessss," Ryan moaned. As her lover's hand filled her completely, the pleasure nearly overcame her and her strong climax was set into motion. "Janna, baby...my love." She rode the waves of pleasure deliriously, mumbling, "Janna... that's so good, baby...thank you."

"You're welcome, love." Janna kissed her mate's warm belly and moaned her own pleasure as Ryan's muscles contracted almost painfully around her hand. She shifted onto Ryan's healthy thigh and rode out her own release as her mate writhed in ecstasy below her.

When both bodies had stilled, they lay together, letting the warmth of their love fill their souls. For more than an hour, Ryan forgot her pain and her despondency, while Janna forgot her mate's intense pain and the corresponding ache that washed over her own soul.

Later, as the sun sat high in the western sky, filling the room with a soothing, deep yellow glow, Janna folded the towel and set it on the bed bedside the others. Ryan sighed as she did the same from where she sat on the bed.

"What's wrong, Ryan?"

"Nothing, Janna. Nothing new anyway." She said sullenly.

"You've been pretty upbeat today...may I ask what changed that?"

Ryan considered glaring at her wife, but reminded herself that she was only asking because she cares, so answered, "I realized that the Fourth of July is Tuesday, and Friday is the anniversary of the day we met. I had plans, that's all." She shrugged unhappily.

Janna looked down at the towel in her hands and sighed. "I'm sorry, Ryan, but we can still celebrate, you know. And face it, you are okay...you're alive...you're here with me...we're happy. Can you try counting your blessings?"

Ryan dejectedly tossed the towel on the bed and ran her hands through her hair. "At the moment, no, Janna...I'm having trouble doing that." She blew out a breath, not wanting to be angry with her wife, but having a hard time fighting the oppressive emotion.

Janna was engaged in the same war at that moment and suddenly, the weeks of her wife's despondency caved in on her. "How many times do I have to tell you, Ryan, that self pity does not become you?" She faced her wife angrily.

"How would you handle this, Janna? In the same situation? I've got a fucking cast on my leg that weighs a hundred pounds, I can't move, much less walk, the fucking pain pills don't work, I'm bored out of my mind, I can't help you, I can't be there for you in any way, I'm nothing but a burden..."

"Stop! Fucking stop it already, Ryan! I've heard it all...a hundred times. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm more sorry than you can ever know, but we have to work together to make the best of this." She shook her head and rubbed her stomach as more nausea hit. "I'm sick, Ryan. I don't have the strength right now to deal with another bout of self pity." She left the room, saying quietly, "Call me if you need anything. I'll be on the couch." She went across the hall to the living room and lay down.

"Fine! Go hide...see if I fucking care. And don't worry, if I need anything I'll get it myself. You don't have to trouble yourself." Ryan yelled angrily, the anger taking full control of her senses. Despite her love for Janna, she couldn't see past her pain and depression. Self pity...fuck that! She has no idea. No fuckin' idea.

Janna tried to take a deep breath, but was stopped by the sobs in her chest. She wanted desperately to be able to deal compassionately with Ryan, but her own discomfort overcame her, and left her severely short of patience. As she lay trying to calm herself, and put down the nausea so she could go in and comfort her mate, she heard a crash in the other room, followed by a string of curses. She jumped up and ran to the doorway of the family room, only to see Ryan haul back and throw another book. The large hardcover bounced off the entertainment center and hit one of her guitars, knocking it off its stand and breaking a string.

Janna gasped and looked at her wife wide-eyed, then tore her gaze away and looked at her favorite guitar lying broken on the floor. She walked over and picked it up, then held it before her and said, "This is a two thousand dollar guitar!" She looked back down at the instrument, assessing the damage done to it.

"Big fucking deal, Janna...you can afford ten times that!" Ryan sneered angrily.

Janna looked at her wife with disbelief. "Forget the cost then...it's my favorite guitar!"

"Great...you care more about that fucking thing than you do about me!"

Janna gasped, feeling like she had been slapped. When her breath returned, she whispered, "I can't believe you think that, Ryan. It's absurd."

"Believe whatever you want. Leave me alone." She rolled over sullenly and looked at the opposite wall.

Janna stood in front of the bed, stunned. "Fine. I'm out of here. I'll see you later." She carried the guitar with her and left the room.

When she sensed that Janna was gone, Ryan rolled back over and looked up at the ceiling. "Fine." She whispered. "Just fucking go."

A few minutes later, Janna returned holding her backpack and motorcycle helmet. She spoke coldly, "I'm leaving. I'll be back later with dinner." She didn't wait for a response and turned away.

Ryan looked after her, shocked. "What? You're taking the bike? Where are you going?" She received no answer. "Janna!" She heard only the kitchen door slam, followed a few moments later by the roar of the Harley's engine.

"Fuck! Fuck it all! Janna!" She tried to get out of bed and into her chair, but heard the motorcycle leave as she did so. No! She can't handle it well enough yet! Janna...God!

Janna started the bike, immensely pleased when it roared to life under her. She gunned it and took off down the driveway, enjoying the pleasant rumble beneath her and between her legs, but not as much as she usually did...when her arms were wrapped around her mate. She shook off the happy memory, wanting only to feel numb for a while. She flew down the street, with no particular destination in mind. She knew only that she had to be alone for a while. She needed space to think through their dilemma.

As she heard the bike roar away, Ryan's shock and anger turned to concern. She had only given Janna a few lessons on the machine, and though she had done quite well, her small frame handling the large bike impressively, Ryan didn't believe she was accomplished enough yet to try to take off on her own. Shit...Janna, please be careful...God, please be careful! She covered her eyes with her hands. Fuck! What have I done? I've driven her away. She rolled her head in agony and began to sob.

Neither woman could feel the other's pain through her own pain. Both felt lost and alone, though they were neither. Their unseen guides, including their grandfathers, kept them within their compassionate gaze.

As Janna headed west, into the setting sun, she realized where she was going: to the quiet spot on the island where Ryan liked to take her. Where her father had taken Ryan and Zac to fish when they were children. Through the dark visor, she gazed at the sun as it sat just above Mt. Diablo. El Diablo. So beautiful...so unlike your name, Janna thought. Some of the ice around her heart melted at the lovely site, and she had to admit, at the thought of going to Ryan's special place. God, I love her, but she's making it so hard...

As she roared along the twisting two-lane highway, she reveled in the feeling of freedom the motorcycle gave her. The bike felt good...very, very good, beneath her. It felt good to control the harnessed power and energy of the large machine. To shift her body slightly and have it respond by turning. It gave her a feeling of power...something she had lacked the past month. She realized then that she had been feeling completely powerless since Ryan's accident. I should have noticed. I should have felt the imbalance in my power chakra. I have really been neglecting myself.

She turned the bike off the highway and onto the small road that ran along the river. Soon, she came upon the large oak. Their oak. They had come to this spot several times, the first immediately after their wedding reception. They liked to go there to watch the sun set, always sitting spooned together, as one. Janna pulled the bike to a stop and hopped off. She took off the helmet and set it on the seat, then sat against the majestic oak.

At home, alone in the large bed, Ryan was miserable, worried sick about Janna. God, please let her be all right. Bring her back to me. Grandfather, please watch over her. Through her worry, she completely forgot about her own physical and emotional pain.

Janna sat for long minutes, lost in her thoughts and seeking guidance. As she watched the sun dip below the twin peaks, she missed her mate acutely. I wish she were here with me. I don't ever want to watch a sunset alone again.

"Be patient with her, Granddaughter. She is a proud and stubborn woman." The wise voice of her wife's grandfather spoke clearly in her mind.

I know, Grandfather. But isn't pride a sin?

"No, Granddaughter. It is a silly emotion...born of fear. Help her to work through it. Use the love."

I will, Grandfather, thank you.

"Remember..."

Remember the love...yes.

"She's afraid, Janny. Be there for her. Be strong." Her own grandfather's voice spoke then.

Grandpa? Yes, she is. I'll try...I love you, Grandpa.

"I love you, too, Janny. Remember."

Yes. Janna threw her head back against the tree and cried quietly, moved by the loving presence of their grandfathers. Thank you. As Grandfather Sun sank below the horizon, she took a deep, cleansing breath and blew it out, releasing the fear and anger she had been holding onto. She centered herself, pulling clean fresh air and energy into her body and reasserting her intention to love her mate no matter what. To remember their love. Always.

As the sun set, plunging the room into darkness, fear clenched at Ryan's gut. Janna...where are you? She looked at the clock on the VCR. Almost an hour and a half. Where is she? She began to pray quietly, asking her guides to watch over her mate.

"Granddaughter. Your pain has opened the door to fear. You have let it in. You must chase it away. Remember."

Grandfather! I'm sorry...I'm afraid to lose her, Grandfather. How can she want me when...

"Granddaughter! She loves you. You must chase this fear away before it eats you. Remember, Granddaughter."

Ryan sobbed. Yes, Grandfather...thank you. I will not forget the love again. "Remember the love," she spoke aloud to the empty room. "Remember the love."

A few minutes later, she heard the motorcycle roar home and was filled with relief. God! Janna...thank you! When she heard the kitchen door open quietly, she sat up in bed and looked expectantly at the door to the hallway. She heard Janna striding down the hall and then she turned the corner and entered the room, pulling the helmet off as she approached, dropping it and her backpack to the floor as she climbed onto the bed wordlessly and pulled Ryan into her arms.

Ryan returned the embrace tightly. "Janna...I was so worried about you...I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Janna."

Janna kissed her hair and mumbled, "I'm sorry I worried you." She pulled back and looked into Ryan's eyes. "I didn't mean to. I just needed some space. I love you, Ryan."

"Love you, Janna...so much. So much." Ryan mumbled as she pulled Janna close again.

Janna turned her face and captured Ryan's lips gently, then with more passion as she tried to communicate her love to her mate. The message was received and returned, and the burgers and fries in Janna's backpack grew cold before they were remembered and retrieved some time later.

-20-

The warm crystal gave off subtle, but very definite, vibrations, tickling the hand that gently grasped it. Thank you, rock-friend. Janna silently voiced her gratitude for the crystal's amplification of the healing energy as she held it above her wife's injury. She felt the Reiki enter her body and travel along her arm, into the crystal, where it exited, magnified.

"That is so hot, Janna...right through the cast." Ryan remarked as she lay on her back.

"Good...that's the idea. What does it feel like at the fracture site?"

"Besides heat...a comfortable heat...it's tingling. It's not the usual gentle tingle of Reiki, it's more...energetic. I can almost picture the bone knitting."

"Keep picturing that...that in itself will speed healing. Our minds definitely affect reality."

"Yep." She remained quiet for a few moments, then added, "I guess when I get down and in a pessimistic mood, it doesn't help my healing, does it?"

"No, hon. I don't think it does."

"Janna, there won't be any more episodes like I had yesterday...I promise you." She gazed sincerely into her partner's vibrant eyes.

"I know, Ryan. And I will be more understanding when you're down. Since we talked everything out, I think we both understand where the other has been coming from."

"Yeah Janna, you're sick and I'm an asshole." Ryan grinned to soften her words.

Janna smiled and held a finger to Ryan's lips. "Shh! I won't hear that about my beloved."

Ryan grinned and kissed the finger, then licked it seductively.

"Honey, we're doing healing right now...save that for later, please." She sent calming energy to Ryan through their bond and Ryan relaxed, closing her eyes. Janna smiled. "Mm, I think that's good there. I'll do your lower leg now."

"Okay," Ryan replied sleepily. "The energy's hitting me hard, babe," Ryan said as she yawned.

"You're gonna miss your sponge bath at this rate, love." Janna said as she moved to sit next to Ryan's lower leg.

Ryan's eyes flew open. "I'm awake."

Janna grinned but didn't say anything. God, she's so transparent! She must have plans for us later. She took a deep breath to dispel the excitement she felt at the prospect and tried to refocus on her healing.

Next to her, on the bed, Ryan smiled. She felt Janna's desire and excitement as a giddy joy and it filled her with happiness. We're gonna be okay. Thank you, Grandfathers. Thank you so much. As a solitary tear escaped from Ryan's eye, Janna leaned down and kissed it away, knowing exactly what emotion had caused it.

Later, the comforting light of a dozen candles illuminated the makeshift bedroom as Janna entered, carrying a plastic tub of water. She set it on the table next to Ryan's side of the bed and gazed comically down at her wife. Ryan was stretched out on the bed, already naked, waiting patiently for her.

"All ready, are we?" Janna smiled down at her.

"Mm, hmm. Are you ready? Tonight it's a double bath."

"Oh, it is?"

"Mm, hmm. Sit down here. You're first." Ryan sat up, gently grasped her hand and pulled her down onto the bed, settling her between her legs. "But first, these clothes have to go." She leaned forward and kissed Janna's neck while she tugged at the oversized t-shirt she wore. "God, I love you in my clothes, baby."

"I love to wear them, Ryan." Janna murmured as she leaned back against Ryan. "I don't think they'll work much past the sixth or seventh month though, do you?"

"I guess not." Ryan mumbled against Janna's neck before kissing it again.

"Is this a bath, or a seduction?"

"Both."

"The seduction part is progressing nicely, I must say."

"Mm...good." She pulled Janna's shirt off. "No bra...thank you, baby."

"My pleasure."

Ryan caressed Janna's breasts while kissing her neck and throat and the soft moans nearly distracted her from the job at hand. She pulled back and sighed as she gazed at her beautiful wife, then reached for the soft, soapy washcloth. She dipped it in the warm, scented water and rung it out before bringing it to Janna's back. She tenderly washed her mate, gently scrubbing with loving care.

"Ryan, that's so nice," Janna murmured contentedly. "But are you sure you feel up to it?"

"Yes, I do. I'm still feeling the Reiki...not hurting at all right now. You've been taking such good care of me for a month, let me take care of you a little, okay?"

"Sure, love. Thank you, baby." She picked up Ryan's left hand and kissed it tenderly.

"My pleasure," Ryan responded as she continued with the loving attention.

She finished with Janna's back and moved down the length of an arm. As she leaned forward, her breasts caressed her mate's back.

"Mmm, Ryan..."

Ryan answered her with a soft bite to the side of her neck, and Janna threw her head back and moaned.

"God, Ryan, forget the bath," she mumbled as she turned and embraced her mate, capturing her lips as she settled in her lap. "Does this hurt your thigh?"

"No, stay there."

"Good." She captured Ryan's soft lips again and savored them passionately.

Ryan mumbled into Janna's mouth, "You're gonna have to go get hot water again, love."

"'S'okay...you're gonna need washing after what I do to you anyway."

"Oh, Jesus, baby..." Ryan fairly panted as she pulled Janna tightly against her, kissing her deeply.

Janna continued the kiss for several minutes, then gently pulled back and leaned down to capture Ryan's breasts with her mouth. "Oh God, baby, you taste good...I haven't been able to do this for way too long."

Ryan's answer was an unintelligible part moan, part pant. She buried her hands in Janna's short hair and arched her back, forcing closer contact. Her ribs had been wrapped on the previous occasions they had made love since the accident and the renewed contact was driving her nearly to delirium.

"God, Janna, it's...it's been so long, it's...like the first time," she gasped.

"Mmm..." Janna was enjoying her dessert too much to break away to comment. She stroked an excited nipple erotically with her tongue while gently rolling its twin between two fingers.

"Janna, God..." Ryan moaned. "I need you, baby."

"Mmm..." She switched and attended to the other nipple, nearly sending Ryan over the edge.

"Janna, please, baby...that's too good." She tried to pry Janna's lips from her breast and when she was successful, captured them with hers. She kissed her mate deeply again, and then went for her breasts.

Janna leaned back on her hands without complaint. "Ryan...God, Ryan, I'm seeing fireworks."

"Already, baby? Good." Ryan mumbled around a mouthful of nipple.

"No...uh, really...oh, God...no, really, love...outside...I just saw a...a firework in the sky," she muttered breathlessly.

"What?" Ryan looked up into Janna's eyes. "Oh, yeah...they must be starting...I didn't know we could see them from here...trees are so tall."

"We're pretty close."

"I'm very close, baby." Ryan grinned against her treat.

"Close to where they're firing them, silly!"

"Oh!" Ryan gave the nipple below her lips one last delicious lick, and pulled back. "Help me to the window, baby."

Janna sighed, but hopped off the bed and pulled Ryan up. "You're not supposed to be up on this leg yet."

"It's just to the window, Janna...please?"

The gorgeous, imploring baby blues just could not be denied...the ability didn't exist within Janna's framework, so she held her arms out to her mate. Ryan grinned as she grabbed them and pulled herself to her feet, rather unsteadily.

"Whoa, that's a little tough after a month on my back."

"Be careful, love...take it slow." Janna backed up, holding Ryan securely, and helped her the several feet to the west-facing window. They stood arm-in-arm watching the colorful show in the sky for several minutes. The relative darkness of the room behind them preserved their modesty as they both stood naked by the window.

After several minutes of standing, Ryan tired and Janna helped her back to the bed, where she gently lay her down and knelt between her legs.

"May I continue with my dessert now?"

"Please do, Janna."

"Thank you."

She commenced gently making love to her wife, slowly and thoroughly, to the boom of the nearby fireworks. Very shortly, Ryan saw fireworks of an entirely different variety as she blissfully screamed Janna's name.

The act was repeated for Janna very shortly thereafter, making it a Fourth of July that they would remember for quite some time.

~~~~~~~~~~

Janna lay blissfully sprawled across her mate's increasingly strong body as the morning sun filtered in from the back of the house, illuminating them in it's soft light. As her mate slept, Ryan ran her fingers gently through her soft hair. It almost feels like my accident never happened. As if today were June 4 instead of July 4. Somehow, I know now that we will be okay.

Janna stirred then, and smiled against Ryan's breast. Before even opening her eyes, she gently kissed the soft skin below her lips. Ryan closed her eyes and smiled as she embraced Janna.

"Morning, Janna."

"Morning, Ryan. How are feeling today?"

"Blissful, Janna. Absolutely blissful. That loving you gave me last night was some mighty fine medicine, baby."

"Not to mention the crystal Reiki, huh?" Janna said as she grinned up at her wife.

"Oh, well, that too!" Ryan squeezed her mate as she added, "Janna, I feel like we've come through a major battle. Like, I don't know, there are still some minor skirmishes to be faced, but we've won the biggest battle."

"Honey, I'm feeling the same way. It's like we've faced the major challenge and conquered it. It's a wonderful feeling." She moved off Ryan and leaned on her elbow. "I had help...throughout the process. During the roughest times, your Grandfather visited me, and yesterday, out on the island, my Grandpa did too."

"Christ. My Grandfather kept reminding me too. To..."

"Remember the love." Janna finished, quietly.

"Yes, to remember the love." Ryan caressed Janna's cheek with a long finger.

"I would venture to say, Ryan, that from this point on, we will both be hard put to forget the love."

"Can't see it ever happening, Janna. I honest-to-God cannot."

Janna's answer was to lean down and kiss her wife tenderly, after which they commenced their morning Tantric connection, which progressed into slow, gentle lovemaking. After sharing their love, they lay together quietly, Ryan in Janna's arms.

"Ryan, last week, Georgie called and invited us over for a barbecue today. Since things weren't going too smoothly then, I told her it didn't look like we'd feel up to making it. She said that if we were feeling better, to come on out. It's only a few cops and their families." She looked down at the strong cop in her arms. "Would you like to give it a try for a little while? It's up to you, and we certainly wouldn't have to stay long." She kissed the dark hair below her chin. "But I think it might be good for you to get out for a while...see some of your friends. John and Sara are going."

"Are they?" Ryan continued caressing Janna's arm, which lay draped around her, as she considered the idea. "I would sort of like to get out for a while. Why don't we, honey? See how it goes. But if I start hurting, I'd want to leave before Super Bitch makes another appearance."

"Super Bitch has been vanquished. She won't be making another appearance." She kissed Ryan's head again. "And I would definitely want to leave as soon as you start hurting. You're making progress now and I don't want any setbacks."

"I feel like I am making progress, that's true...finally. Maybe when I see the doctor on Friday, he'll tell me that I can start using crutches."

"Maybe, honey. That would be great. I have an ob/gyn appointment next week...if you're on crutches, you can go with me. That would really be great." She kissed her love again and sighed before adding, "I need to get up, love. My stomach needs food again, and then I think I'll get a shower. Do you want a sponge bath before I shower?"

Ryan grinned. "That would be nice, Janna, thanks. Just in a few strategic areas, though. I, um, I think I'll wheel myself in to the guest bathroom and we can do it in there."

"Sounds good, baby. Come into the kitchen with me?" Janna hopped to the floor and held her arms out to Ryan.

A grinning cop let herself be helped into a t-shirt and shorts, and then into her wheelchair and wheeled into the kitchen for a pleasant breakfast with her wife. It was the first one they had shared together in the kitchen since the day over a month earlier when she had nearly been killed.

~~~~~~~~~~

"To Ryan!" Captain Sam Carlson boomed.

"To Ryan!" The chorus of voices shouted as the guest of honor blushed fiercely. Her wife, standing behind her, leaned down and kissed Ryan's cheek before taking a sip of sparkling cider, and then sharing the glass with her wife.

Shortly after their arrival at Sam and Georgie's Fourth of July barbecue, her Captain had offered a toast, honoring his Officer for her bravery. It was a precursor to the official award ceremony to be held a few weeks later. Ryan found herself wishing she could wheel her chair into a hole in the ground, but took the praise graciously.

After the toast, Janna wheeled her to a round table under a large umbrella and parked her next to their friend Sara, then left to fill their plates with food.

As Ryan leaned over to see the baby she was nursing, Sara said, "Ryan, it's great to see you here. How are you doing?"

Ryan grinned down at the beautiful three-month old boy and answered, "Not too bad, Sara, thanks. I think I've turned the roughest corner. This is my second pretty good day in a row. I feel like I'm on a roll now." She grinned, then looked her friend in the eye as she added, "I owe so much to Janna, Sara. She's really stuck by me...and I haven't made it easy for her."

"She loves you, Ryan."

"Yeah, well, at this point that's almost a miracle, so I'm counting my blessings."

Just then, Janna returned with their food and sat down. "I see John, Jr is having his lunch too."

"This is actually his fourth meal today, but I guess since it's lunchtime, we'll call it lunch," Sara said happily as she grinned down at her son.

"When will he start taking a bottle so his Aunt Ryan can feed him?" Ryan asked.

"He takes a bottle now from John. He handles the night feedings."

"Oh, my God...what a prince!" Janna exclaimed.

"Jesus...I didn't know he had it in him." Ryan grinned.

"Didn't know who had what?" John asked as he arrived and sat next to his wife and son. He kissed first his son, then his wife before he started eating.

Ryan looked at Janna and grinned widely. "Didn't know you were so into the Daddy thing. So that's why you're tired in the morning, huh?"

"Nah...it's nothing." He waved off the question.

"Yeah, right, like all guys do that."

John eyed his friend. "I'll bet you plan to, Ryan."

"Well, yeah, John, but I'm not a guy. I'm her mother."

"You may be her mother, Ryan, but you're also as much a guy as any man here...and you know I mean that as a compliment." He pointed his fork at her.

"I do, yeah. Thanks, buddy." She grinned at her friend, warmed by his endearing statement. Janna and Sara looked at each other and shrugged.

"Ry, where's your beer?"

"I'm abstaining, John...because Janna has to."

"Christ...you're kidding!"

"Nope. It something I want to do."

"Shit, I never even considered that." He looked sideways at his wife, who declared, "That's okay, honey, I didn't either."

She raised her eyebrows at Ryan and said, "That's commendable, Ry."

Ryan shrugged. "Not really." She attacked the steak on her plate. "Lots of meat here, honey...thanks." She grinned at her mate.

"No problem, babe...you need your protein...eat up." Janna smiled before taking a big bite of salad. She returned the fork to her plate and speared a tomato, then fed it to her wife.

"Mm, good." Ryan's eyes sparkled her thanks.

John and Sara watched in fascination as Ryan and Janna continued to share food with each other from their plates, oblivious to the attention, and obviously very much in love.

The day ended with Ryan and Janna sitting spooned together against a tree, enjoying the backyard fireworks display with their friends.

-21-

Three months later, October

Ryan hobbled down the rampway into the airport, struggling to carry her bag while manipulating her crutches. Janna walked ahead of her, sporting her own carry-on bag on a strap around her shoulders, and turned to wait for her mate.

"Honey, let me get your bag, please. That's too much work for you."

"Baby, I've got it. You're carrying too much as it is." She stopped next to her very pregnant wife. "Whew. It's not easy, though." She grinned at Janna's 'told you so' look and then took a deep breath. "Where's my brother anyway?" She said as she looked around the passenger area.

"Ryan! Janna!" Zac's voice rose above the din of the busy Albuquerque airport.

"Zac!" Ryan exclaimed as her brother rushed up to them, looking extremely sharp in his uniform. He scooped her gently into a hug and kissed her cheek before greeting Janna similarly.

"How was your flight?" He asked as he relieved them both of their bags.

Ryan grinned as she replied, "It depends on whom you ask! If you ask me, it was great. If you ask my wife here, it was horrendous." She leaned onto her right crutch as she threw her left arm around Janna's shoulders.

"Really, Janna? Why?"

"I don't fly well, Zac. To tell you the truth, I usually get plastered when I fly, just to get me through it, but I couldn't do that this time." She expelled a held breath. "It's a phobia, I guess." She looked at her mate. "Thank God I had Ryan to comfort me."

"Sorry, Janna. You guys couldn't drive, huh?"

"Not in this humongous cast, bro, no...not comfortably, and anyway, Janna would have to do all the driving, and in her condition that's not an option. I think we may look into taking Amtrak home." Ryan grinned at Janna's relieved look and rubbed her back. "It'll probably be more comfortable for both of us. I was supposed to be in a right-side aisle seat so I'd have room for my leg, but they put us on the wrong side. Thankfully, we found a nice couple willing to switch with us."

"Shit, I should have put you on a military flight. Sorry, guys." He gazed into his sister's eyes. "You look really good, Sis. About a thousand percent better than the last time I saw you."

"I feel that much better too, Zac. Let's get Janna off her feet and I'll tell you about it."

"Marty's expecting us for dinner, so let's get on the road, huh?" He looked to the two tired travelers. "Unless you want to rest a while...get something to drink?"

"Something to drink you would be great, Zac, then we can get going." Janna answered.

"Okay, there's a nice café just up the way here. While you get something I'll grab your other luggage."

They sat, enjoying their cold drinks in air-conditioned comfort while gazing out over the sunny desert. "Still hot here in the Fall, huh Zac?"

"Not as, but pretty warm, Sis, yeah. Actually, at our elevation it is usually pretty comfortable here in the Fall. Warm days, cool nights."

Ryan grinned, "Not like the Indian Summer back home, huh? Ninety, one hundred degree days, hot nights."

Janna sighed. "Here, there, it's still too hot for me." She looked at her mate disparagingly. "You couldn't have timed my getting pregnant a little better, could you? So I was biggest in the winter?" A grin softened her words, and Ryan returned the smile.

"Sorry, love. It'll be over soon now. They say the last trimester goes fast."

"That's not what Sara said. Or Kris." Janna pouted into her seven-up.

Zac looked compassionately at Ryan, who shrugged. "She's already in trouble, huh Janna?"

Janna half-smiled. "No, not really. I'm not even that big yet, and the heat is almost over. I'm really starting to feel tired though...and fat."

"Janna, you have never looked more beautiful in your whole life. And I'm not the only one who has said that." Ryan added sincerely.

"Thanks, honey. That's nice to hear." She smiled warmly at her mate, and then turned her gaze to Zac. "Enough about me...let's hear about the wedding, Zac."

"Well, if you're almost done, we can talk about it in the car. It's a pretty long drive to Las Cruces. Okay?"

"Sure. Let's go. You ready, love?" Ryan addressed Janna.

"Yep. I'm looking forward to seeing Marty again."

"I'm looking forward to Marty's cooking," Ryan said with a grin.

"You would be, Sis! Come on."

Three and a half hours later, Zac pulled his Cherokee into his driveway and helped his sisters out. Ryan rested against the side of the car and breathed deeply.

"Ah, that nice, dry, desert air. I love it, Zac!" She gazed up at the western sky, which sported a lovely orange sunset. Janna stood beside her and threw her arm around her waist.

"God, it's great to be back here." She took a deep breath as well, filling her body with the clean, pure energy of the region.

"I'm glad you guys like it. You're sure welcome here."

"Hey, there you are!" Marty's rich, pleasant voice called as she exited the house.

"Marty...it's great to see you," Ryan said as she threw one arm around Marty's shoulders.

"Ryan, you look wonderful. It's so good to see you on your feet." She turned to Janna and gave her a hug. "Hi, Janna...and you look beautiful!"

"Thank you, Marty, but I'm starting to feel far from it."

"Janna, there is no one more special or more beautiful than a woman giving life. Remember that." She looked from Ryan to Janna. "Come in...you must be very tired and dinner is ready."

She was answered by two very large grins.

Some time later, as they still sat around the large dining room table, digesting the large meal, Marty said, "Janna, Zac said that you were having a hard time with morning sickness. Is it still bothering you?"

"No, thank God. I had a terrible time...six months, Marty. Six months of almost constant nausea, but for the last several weeks I've felt great. Oh, I'm so relieved. I feel like I can finally start to enjoy this pregnancy a little bit."

"And," Ryan said happily, leaning over to pat her baby, "The baby is moving around a lot."

"Yes, especially when her Momma talks to her every night." Janna beamed.

"Is that true, Ryan?" Marty asked.

It was Ryan's turn to beam. "Yep! We have a nice visit every night after dinner. We talk, I read to her, massage her Mommy's belly, and she becomes very active. It's unfuckinbelievable!" She leaned closer and kissed her wife sweetly. Gazing into Janna's eyes she repeated, "Unfuckinbelievable."

"I see you two are no less stuck on each other." Zac added with a smile.

"More so, Red Hawk. Especially after what we've come through." Ryan turned her gaze to her brother. "We had a pretty hard time of it right after I got hurt. I didn't handle things too well...took it out on Janna some."

"Honey, I didn't handle things well myself. I didn't have enough patience."

"You were sick, Janna, and under the influence of raging hormones."

"Well, in any case, we're great now. Again." She kissed Ryan's hand.

"Yes, we are, baby."

"I think I'm gonna be sick now." Zac declared playfully and his wife-to-be slapped him lightly.

"Leave them alone. They deserve to be as happy as they are."

"Well, I guess I can't argue with that." Zac looked around the table at his family. "Hey, let's take this out on the patio and we'll talk about the ceremony."

"Good idea...it's beautiful tonight. I'll get the coffee and dessert," Marty said as she stood.

"I'll help you," Janna added.

"Janna, no, I can get it. You go on out."

"Marty, I'm not that pregnant! And I'd like to help. Come on." She rose from the table and led Marty into the kitchen. Zac and Ryan simply looked at her, smiled, and shrugged.

"Come on, Sis...let me give you a hand."

"Hey, I'm not helpless either. I've been doing this for four months now."

Zac held up his hands. "Okay...all right...go on. Lead the way, Sis."

Ryan made her way rather gracefully out to the lovely tiled patio and looked out over the desert before she had a seat. Zac admired the way she handled the crutches, her strong body making it look easy.

"We have Grandmother Moon gracing us tonight." Zac said reverently as he gazed up at the nearly full moon.

"Mm, I'm glad. She's a special friend to Janna and I." She looked at Zac and half-smiled. "She feels like it anyway."

Zac nodded as he left the chair next to Ryan for Janna to use and sat across from her at the table. "So, Sis. Things are going well, it looks like? Between the two of you?"

Ryan smiled warmly. "Zac, it couldn't be better. What we went through made us stronger, I think...if that's possible. When I got home from the hospital, after you left, we had a rough patch...a real rough patch. Um, she actually left...only for a few hours, but it shook me up pretty bad. Scared the shit out of me, Zac. Scared the sense into me too, I guess." She looked seriously at her brother. "Scared her too, I think. Anyway, after that, we really talked things out and it's been fine since. Of course, it helped that I started to feel noticeably better around then, but honestly, I think that had a lot to do with my improved outlook."

"I'm sure it did, Sis. Well, if it helps any...I thought you two would be fine. You've got such a special thing going, I thought it would take an awful lot to screw it up."

"Red Hawk, it was pretty touch and go there for a while, I've gotta say. If Grandfather hadn't given me the warning, or hadn't shown up the several times he did to remind us of it, I'm not sure we would have made it." She shook her head. "I'm just not sure. As good as it is for us, I don't know."

"Well, then, we all thank the Great Spirit for Grandfather and his message." Zac said solemnly.

"Yes, we do. We, uh, plan to have a little ceremony, tomorrow, before you get too busy with the festivities, and we'd like you two to join us." Ryan gazed at her brother sincerely and he nodded. "Sunrise?" Another nod, and a smile.

Marty and Janna arrived then with desert, setting two trays on the round table.

"Are you talking about our giving thanks?" Janna asked as she served Ryan.

"Yeah, babe." She grabbed Janna's hand and sat her down. "We have so much to be thankful for." She kissed Janna's hand, and then Janna leaned in for a real kiss.

"Yes, we do. Without a doubt."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan lit another candle and then joined Janna in the large bed. She was naked, stretched out on her back, rubbing her belly.

"How's our baby tonight?" Ryan said softly as she reached out to caress Janna's swollen abdomen.

"She's been pretty active today...I think she's resting now."

"I'll bet she didn't like the plane flight any more than her Mommy did."

"Probably not. But honey, I have the strongest feeling that she is going to take after you...I'm not sure why." She gazed up at Ryan, who leaned above her on an elbow. "Wishful thinking, maybe."

"You actually want a little Ryan running around? Janna, why?" Ryan's eyebrows rose in question, making her look adorable to her mate.

"In case you've forgotten, I love you. I adore the person that you are...everything about you. Why wouldn't I want a miniature you?" She picked up Ryan's hand and kissed it.

"I was a brat, Janna...a tomboy. I never had a feminine bone in my body and I think that really bothered my mom. I was never the girl she wanted me to be. She had two sons...plain and simple."

"Well so did my mom. I was a tomboy too. I still consider myself a tomboy, Ryan. Frankly, if Halley isn't a tomboy, I don't know quite how I'll deal with her. I'll have to learn about the things that little girls like."

"Oh, come on, baby...don't tell me you didn't play with dolls!"

"I did...but I also played with trucks and Dan's GI Joe's and army men...and played ball. I was much more into boys' things, really. Let me guess...no dolls for you?" She grinned up at her wife.

"Not a one. Actually, no, I got one for Christmas one year and I don't think I ever took it out of the box. It pissed me off that my mom even bought it for me...I think I was six."

"Fighting stereotypical roles even then, huh?"

"Damn right. I resented the fact that I was expected to want to play with dolls. Thank God for my dad...he accepted me exactly as I was. Always. Even when I came out."

"How old were you, love?"

"Fourteen."

"Jesus! I came out to my parents from the relative safety of San Francisco when I was nineteen."

Ryan shrugged. "I was sure. I actually knew a lot sooner than that but it wasn't an issue."

"Ah, I see...it became an issue when you wanted to start seeing girls?"

"Absolutely! And I didn't just want to see them, babe."

"Ah, yes. Okay...I see where you're going with this. If Halley is like you, it's likely that she'll be a mother's worst nightmare by the time she's thirteen...chasing their daughters around the playground."

"Around the ball diamond, but yeah, that's what I'm getting at."

"We'll have to guide her then, won't we? As any parent would. Love her and respect her for who she is and give her the tools to make good, moral decisions. I think we're good people, Ryan. We will be good role models for her."

"Honey, with us as role models, she'll be chasing little girls when she's four. We're not exactly chaste."

"What we have is a very healthy love life and she will be raised to realize that. She'll be raised to respect girls, or boys, and not simply see them as sex objects. To respect them as people first and foremost." She looked seriously as Ryan. "Support me on that?"

"Yes, Janna, of course. I'm not a dog any more, and I'll tell her, if she'll listen when she's old enough, that's it's a very unfulfilling lifestyle."

"Good." Janna smiled and grabbed her belly. "She's awake again. She must have heard your voice."

Ryan grinned widely and pressed her lips softly to Janna's tummy. "Hi, sweetheart. Are you awake again? It's time for your story. Momma loves you, baby."

As Ryan spoke to their child, Janna ran her fingers through her thick, dark hair, filled with love for her mate.

Ryan reached to the table behind her for a book and brought it forward.

"What is it tonight?"

"Navajo children's stories."

"Nice."

Ryan settled comfortably next to Janna and began to read. Her rich voice flowed as fluidly as song as she read to her baby, and her mate relaxed to the point of falling asleep...as was usually the case. Ryan finished the nightly ritual by massaging Janna's belly tenderly with aromatic oil and they wrapped themselves around each other for the night.

Grandmother Moon smiled at her friends, happy to see them so happy, and turned her gaze to her other friends, who were readying themselves for the ceremony that would unite them in marriage.

The next morning, after sharing a long cuddle time, Ryan and Janna lay together, both glowing somewhat from their shared love. Janna sighed as she played with Ryan's fingers.

"It so great to be back here in New Mexico, love."

"Mm, it is." She looked down at the blonde head under her chin. "I was just thinking the same thing. And remembering last month...that was a wonderful trip too, Janna." She squeezed her mate and sighed.

The previous month, they had gone to the mountains to celebrate their first anniversary, to the little inn South of Lake Tahoe that they had visited before they married. The reservation had been made before Ryan's accident, and since she was feeling much better by the time their anniversary, and her birthday, rolled around, they decided to go. They had not been able to hike, of course, but had been able to enjoy just being in the mountains they so loved, and spent hours sitting on the deck of their suite, or beside the river, or in bed.

"Oh, yes, honey...wasn't it?" She giggled and Ryan knew exactly why. The sex had been wonderful...life affirming, in fact.

"I know, Janna. I still can't get over how great it was. I thought that there'd be no way in hell we could top our first trip there, especially with you so pregnant and me in this cast, but Jesus, baby, we did, didn't we?" She ran her hands along Janna's torso as she added, "God, you loved me good, baby." She trembled slightly in remembrance.

"Mmm. And you know what?" She turned over and leaned into her mate.

"What?" Ryan grinned, knowing full well what was what, thanks to their link.

"I'm getting hot again just thinking about it."

"Oh, are you? I suppose you want me to do something about that, huh?"

"Absolutely, babe."

"Your wish is my command, my baby. Come 'ere," she said as she pulled Janna down on top of herself. "Let me love you, Janna." She said as she captured her mate's lips sensuously.

Janna returned the kiss and muttered breathlessly, "God, I still can't get enough of you, Ryan."

"Or I you, love. And I love feeling the baby between us, Janna." She said between kisses, then stopped and asked, "Is that okay for her...you're not too heavy?"

"I'm not putting all of my weight down...this position won't be possible much longer though."

"Well, babe, let's take advantage of it while we can." She pulled Janna's face back down to meet hers and all conversation stopped for a good long while. Unless one counted moans, groans, pants and other unintelligible utterances.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, Ryan stood next to her brother at the edge of a butte under a brilliant blue sky as the tribal elder declared him married. Ryan, and Martha's attendant, her sister Mary, stepped forward and each removed the blue blanket from her sibling's shoulders and then together, placed a single large white blanket around them, enveloping the couple.

Soft Native flute music played as they embraced, and through her tears, Ryan looked over at Janna and smiled happily. My baby brother is a married man now. Mom and Dad would be so proud of him...of how far he has come. And Grandfather.

"I am proud of both of my grandchildren. They honor me."

Thank you Grandfather.

Later, pow wow drummers pounded joyously on their large drums as they sang during the merry reception. Ryan sat with her leg stretched out as Janna sat beside her, hand on her thigh, clearly enjoying the music. Ryan gazed with wonder at her wife as she sat with closed eyes, her head nodding to the beat of the drum, feet tapping, obviously having been carried to another place...an ancient place. She carries far less Indian blood than I do, yet she is so much closer to the spirit of the people. Ryan's eyes misted as she felt an immense pride and joy in her lovely mate.

Janna wore the billowy sundress from her own wedding, which still fit, but just barely, and sported her turquoise wedding necklace around her neck. Ryan wore her wedding clothes as well, as the pants were loose enough to accommodate her cast, and her bone and turquoise wedding choker adorned her throat.

From his place at the head of the table, Zac watched his sisters and thought they looked as lovely as they did at their own wedding. They are light and dark...like night and day...yet they complement each other perfectly. Just as the night needs the day, and the dark needs the light. They embody the concept of yin and yang. Zac smiled at that thought, as he knew that Janna was very fond of the ancient Chinese symbol. I only hope that Marty and I can approach what they have.

As if reading her husband's mind, Marty leaned over just then and kissed his cheek before saying, "I believe that what we have is just as strong, Zac."

Zac turned to gaze into his wife's beautiful, brown eyes. "So do I, Marty. I knew it a year ago when I was with them at their wedding. I love you Martha Two Rainbows Greyeagle-Zamora."

Marty's gaze spoke the volumes of love that she felt for her new husband, but she spoke the words nevertheless. "And I love you, Zachary Red Hawk Zamora."

Six hours later, the Zamoras were on an airplane bound for Hawaii, while the Norden-Zamoras were making beautiful love in their brother and sister-in-law's home in Las Cruces.

The next day they would journey to Taos, to revisit a stranger who had paid them a kindness on their previous visit there. The Navajo woman was not surprised when the couple walked/hobbled into her shop, the part-Native woman smiling warmly, knowingly, at her and greeting her wordlessly. She returned the silent, reverent greeting, warmed greatly that the couple had survived their trial. As before, she bestowed upon them a lovely gift, but this time, the tall, strong woman had made several large purchases in addition to the gift for her pregnant wife.

As the train sped along the California coastline, Ryan held Janna's hand tightly as they gazed at the magnificent rocky shore. At that moment, while gently physically connected with her soulmate in the presence of the breathtaking natural splendor, she felt complete. Through their bond, Janna felt Ryan's sense of serenity and wholeness and sighed happily, feeling the same sense of peace wash over her own soul. The soul that was at that moment in time physically and ethereally merged with Ryan's.

-22-

Three weeks later, early November.

Ryan leaned back on her hands, holding her breath as the technician manipulated the small saw. A fine white dust floated up from where saw blade met plaster and the colorful, decorated cast began to loosen. As she approached her upper thigh, Ryan got the woman's attention and motioned for her to saw around a particular section. She nodded, smiling behind her mask, and directed the line of the cut away from the colorfully written passage.

Several minutes later, Ryan sat gazing at her freed leg. "My God, but that's ugly," she said, chuckling. Her leg was almost grotesquely white and oddly textured from the cast and liner. She ran her hands over the fracture sites. The thigh break had been clean and had left no visible outward sign, but the lower leg and ankle breaks sported nasty scars from the compound fractures themselves and from the surgery. She tried to move her ankle and found it incredibly stiff, and she winced.

"So, you say you want to keep the cast?" The woman said as she lay the large now-empty shell on the table next to Ryan.

"Yep, it's a trophy to show the grandkids." Ryan grinned.

The woman returned the grin and added, "I can see why you wanted to preserve that poem. It's beautiful...Elizabeth Barrett Browning, right?"

Ryan smiled warmly as she nodded.

"That's some special guy you have...to write something like that on your cast. Um, just how many 'I love you's are written on that thing, do you know?"

Ryan blushed mildly. "Oh, uh, I don't know...one for each day I had it on, I think." She shrugged. "Over a hundred, I guess."

"Wow. Well, enjoy your freedom!" The woman smiled cheerily as she cleaned Ryan's leg.

"Oh, I will." Ryan's warm grin widened as she reread the special passage that Janna had written on her upper thigh, so that she could see it all the time. She had read it so often that it had become burned into her memory permanently.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the breadth and depth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

The tech helped her to her feet and led her from the cast room, carrying the plaster monstrosity for Ryan. When they entered the exam room, Janna jumped up and exclaimed, "Oh, honey!" and threw her arms around her wife, crutches and all.

As they embraced, the tech stood wide-eyed for a moment, but then smiled and shook her head as she caught Ryan's eye.

Ryan returned the grin and shrugged.

As she left the room, the woman could be heard mumbling, "Should have known it was too sweet to be from a guy..."

A few minutes later, the doctor returned with Ryan's x-rays, looking somewhat dumbfounded. He sat down on the stool beside the exam table and shook his head, smiling. "Ryan, the fractures are all completely healed. It's remarkable. I'm not even sure I need to put a walking cast on you, but I'm going to, to play it safe." He shook his head again. "I really expected to see you in a full cast for another six to eight weeks."

Ryan's crooked grin and raised eyebrows warmed him and he returned the smile.

"I told you I heal fast, Doc." She squeezed Janna's hand as she sat beside her.

"Care to share your secret with me?" He joked.

Ryan hesitated a moment, then said, "Actually, Doc, we do know an ancient healing method. If you're interested, let us know. Janna teaches the technique." Ryan's sincere gaze convinced him that she was serious.

"I'll keep that in mind and let you know. This certainly does attest to something extraordinary going on." He nodded and then went into his instructions for the patient, emphasizing that she must use the removable cast at all times, except for while sleeping and bathing.

A half hour later, Ryan walked out the door using only a cane, carrying the huge cast under her arm, while Janna carried her crutches.

As she reached the car, she exclaimed happily, "Janna, honey, I can drive!"

"Yes, and I get to be passenger again!"

As she settled into the driver's seat, Ryan looked at Janna and grasped her hand. "We're celebrating in the spa tonight, baby."
"I'm way ahead of you, Ryan."

Ryan closed her eyes and sighed, feeling that she couldn't wait to find out what her wife had in store for later.

~~~~~~~~~~

Janna lowered herself cautiously into the spa. Her added bulk made her feel awkward and she worried about slipping. She needn't have however, as her wife grasped her hand gently and guided her into the seat next to her.

"Just about six more weeks, honey, and our baby will be here."

"Mm. Yes. And I'm really looking forward to Lamaze class tomorrow, Ryan." Janna sighed as she leaned against her mate's strong shoulder.

"Me too, love. It seems like such a special way to bring a baby into the world."

"Yes, and special for you. You get to help her enter, Ryan, and support me."

"God, Janna, I'm glad I'm out of the monster. It would have been so much harder if I were still wearing that thing."

"I'm glad for you, love." She turned to face Ryan and pushed a few wayward strands of hair behind an ear. "Things are almost back to normal for you, honey. I can't tell you how happy I am about that."

"You don't need to, Janna...I can feel it. Thank you."

"Now you can start rehab and regain nearly normal use of your leg and ankle."

"Yep, but I'm shooting for normal, babe."

"I know, Ryan, but remember how severely injured you were...I don't want you to be disappointed if you don't quite get back there."

"Don't worry, Janna, I think my expectations are realistic." She squeezed her mate tightly and grinned. "You don't have to worry about my becoming a fucking asshole again when things don't go my way."

Ryan gazed up at the nearly full moon and became pensive for a few minutes before saying softly, "Janna, even if I regain full use of my leg and ankle, I'm not sure I want to return to patrol duty."

Janna raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, why not, honey?"

Ryan blew out a breath. "It's just so dangerous...we've seen that first hand, haven't we?" At Janna's nod, she continued, "And I have such huge responsibilities now...not to mention the fact that I want to be around to help raise my kids." She sank lower into the pleasantly warm water and pulled Janna onto her lap.

"I don't think I'm afraid...I really don't...it's not fear I feel, but responsibility. And face it, I've changed. My career isn't everything to me anymore...you are. And the baby is. I think I want to focus more of my energy on being a parent and a spouse." She ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head incredulously. "Jesus! Can you believe I'm saying this?"

"Yes. It is exactly what I would expect from this woman whom I love so much." Janna kissed her cheek and lay her own cheek against it.

"Does becoming a parent mellow everyone out this much?"

"Honey, I think it's more a shifting of priorities, isn't it?"

"Sure, with a corresponding mellowing of attitude."

"Mm, yeah, I suppose. Well, Ryan, whatever you decide, I will support you. I know what a fine cop you are, and how much you love being a cop, despite any mellowing that may occur."

"Thanks, baby. But you know what? These last three months that I've been on desk duty, and doing so much community outreach? I've loved it, Janna! I have so enjoyed meeting kids, and especially working on the D.A.R.E. program with them. And God, the little class of deaf kids, Janna. I was thinking the other day when I was there about how much I'll miss them when I return to patrol." She smiled at a special memory. "Especially that little Andrew...what a character!"

Janna smiled warmly, feeling her mate's happy heart. "Is that the little boy who has other problems too?"

"Mm, hm...yeah. He's mildly retarded...or, I should say, 'developmentally disabled'. God, what a sweet kid...always lights up when I come into the room and gives me a big hug. That's what life's about, Janna. Not chasing fucking lowlifes who don't have a chance in hell of reforming, or rehabilitating, after I catch them and send them to the can. But working with kids, to teach them right and wrong...to help them develop a sense of self worth and respect for others...to prevent them from ever getting onto that path of drugs and crime. To make a difference to a kid."

Ryan's sincerity touched Janna deeply and she whispered, "That does sound wonderful, Ryan, and I'm behind you one thousand percent." She added, "I don't want to influence you one way or the other, but I will be honest and tell you that I would feel much more comfortable with you off of patrol." She gazed into her wife's eyes as tears began to fall. "To be perfectly honest with you, Ryan, I've been dreading...absolutely dreading...the day when you go back out there. It terrifies me."

Ryan said nothing, but sighed and wiped Janna's tears as she pulled her closer, her own eyes misting. She kissed Janna's head before saying, "I'll give it some serious thought, and talk to John about it...and Sam and the Lt. I have a while yet before I need to make a decision one way or the other. The doctor won't be releasing me back onto active duty until after the first of the year anyway."

"Okay, love."

"Whew, Janna...that's a load off my mind. A huge fuckin' load off my mind. Thank you, baby." She nuzzled Janna's hair with her cheek.

Janna smiled warmly at her and said, "Don't mention it. Um, honey, are we gonna have to have another talk about language?"

Ryan adopted a sheepish look. "Yeah, shit, I haven't been doing too well, have I?"

Janna shook her head, but smiled at her wife.

"I told you it would be hard for me..."

"I know, Ryan, and with all you've been through in the last four, five months, I don't blame you, but honey there's not a lot of time left for you to work on it...and, well, you know how important it is to me that our little girl's first words aren't something like, 'fuck' or 'shit'."

Ryan dropped her chin to her chest in embarrassment. Looking back up at Janna through long, black lashes, she replied, "You're right, Janna...or her first sentence, 'God damned fucking asshole.' I don't want that either. Um, maybe you could start fining me or something...that's what Sara did with John, remember?"

"Yes, I do, and I thought that it was very funny at the time, but now I don't." She gazed thoughtfully at her mate. "I don't know, Ryan...I really don't think I want to do that. I trust that you can manage to do it on your own." Her eyes brightened as she added, "Now, remember, the no swearing rule doesn't apply in the bedroom, when we're alone. That should help." Her bright grin matched her smiling eyes.

Ryan grinned widely at her adorable mate. "That's not fair, love! You only made that exception because that's about the only place where you do swear!"

"Ryan! That's so not true...I swear!"

"Honey, 'Jesus Christ' and 'hell' and 'damn' are not swearing."

"Are you gonna love me tonight, Ryan? Because if you are, I'll show you some swearing." Janna's eyed sparkled a challenge that Ryan wouldn't dream of ignoring.

"Oh, shit yeah, baby. I'm gonna love you good while I fuck you silly." She grinned rakishly before burying her face against Janna's neck and then began to nip lightly at the soft skin there. She mumbled, "We'd better make that exception good out here in the spa, too."

"Absofuckinlutley," Janna murmured as she turned in Ryan's lap and straddled her, as best she could, capturing her lips possessively as she did so.

Ryan returned the kiss just as possessively and moaned her pleasure into Janna's mouth while her hands began to roam sensuously.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, her sweet wife was swearing a blue streak as Ryan made passionate love to her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Five weeks later, December 15

Ryan stood in front of the chalkboard, waiting while the teacher interpreted her words for the students. The African-American woman looked back to Ryan with a smile, indicating that she could continue, and Ryan smiled and returned her gaze to the children sitting at their desks in front of her.

"Now, who would like to tell me why non-medicinal drugs are dangerous?" She looked expectantly around the semi-circle of ten, nine through thirteen-year olds and waited while their teacher signed to them.

As soon as their teacher finished, ten sets of eyes settled again on Ryan and she raised her eyebrows expectantly. She signed, "Anyone know?"

Three children raised their hands and she pointed to a girl and signed her name, "Yasmine?"

The black-haired eleven-year old signed, "Because if they aren't medicine they are very bad for your body."

Ryan smiled and signed, "Yes." She added, speaking, "That's right. Who gives us medicinal drugs?"

She waited again as the teacher rapidly signed her words to the students and then called on a thin, brown-haired little boy with glasses.

She smiled as she signed, "Andrew."

The ten-year old gleefully signed, "Doctor, nurse, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, auntie."

Ryan smiled widely and signed, "Yes. Very good, Andrew!"

The little boy's face lit up with joy at having pleased his special friend and his small body could barely contain his enthusiasm as he clapped for himself.

The tall, strong cop, standing before them in her impressive dark blue uniform, turned the page of the red workbook and started, "Now, let's talk about non-medicinal drugs..." but was interrupted by her pager sounding. She stopped talking, startled momentarily, and then as realization hit as to whom must be paging her, she pointed to the pager, and addressing the class said, "I have a message...excuse me."

She nervously grabbed the small unit from her belt and looked at the display. 911. Jesus! Janna. She looked up at the teacher, a look of startled amazement on her face and said, "It's my baby...my wife...our baby." She shook her head, trying to dislodge the cobwebs and smiled widely. "My wife is in labor...I have to go...sorry!"

The teacher, Marly, replied with a huge grin, "Congratulations...go...hurry!"

Ryan turned to the children and signed, "I need to go help my friend now. Merry Christmas!"

All the children happily signed, "Merry Christmas" in return, some vocalizing the words as well, and little Andrew said, "Buh buh!"

Ryan smiled warmly at him and signed, "Bye bye, Andrew. I'll see you after Christmas."

Then she set the workbook down on the teacher's desk and hurriedly shrugged into her warm jacket before rushing from the room. As she ran to the patrol car, wincing as her nearly-healed ankle sent prickling pains up her leg, she retrieved the keys from her pocket and activated the remote locks, then jumped behind the wheel and was off within seconds, lights and sirens in motion.

Jesus, the baby...oh God. As she maneuvered the car into traffic, some of which actually parted so she could pass, she reached for the cell phone and speed dialed Janna.

"Hi, honey."

"Janna...you're in labor?"

"Yes, my water just broke."

"Shit! I'm two minutes away, baby...I was at the school. I'm coming, Janna. Are you all ready?"

"Yes, honey. I'm standing by the front door."

"Okay, I'll be right there!" Ryan said excitedly.

"All right, honey...hey...calm down."

"Janna, our baby's coming!"

"I'm aware of that, love...get here safely please."

"Yeah...are you having contractions?"

"Yes...they're seven minutes apart, so we're fine." As she spoke, Janna could hear the siren from her wife's patrol car approaching. "I hear your car, love. I'm gonna hang up."

"Okay, bye!" Ryan quickly radioed in, checking herself out on personal time and then turned down their street, tires squealing as the car spun around the corner.

As Janna stood on the front porch, she watched as Ryan's police cruiser raced down the street, skidded to a stop, and then slid up into the driveway. As she raced out of the car, neighbors all up and down the street stuck their heads out of doors to see what the commotion was. Many of them smiled as they saw the police officer help her hugely pregnant wife down the walkway and into the police car.

"Baby, are you okay...here, careful getting in....I'll get the bag..." Ryan's mind and body were in hyperdrive as she tried to get them coordinated. She threw Janna's athletic bag into the back seat and jumped in behind the wheel.

"Okay, let's go."

Janna looked at her mate and grinned as she laid a calm hand on her thigh. "Relax, honey...it's not an emergency."

"Honey, just let me get you there, okay?" Ryan spared her a serious gaze before checking the mirrors and shooting out the driveway in reverse. She skillfully handled the car and took off at breakneck speed again. She reached up to the overhead console and flipped the siren on and as she raced down the residential streets and onto the busier thoroughfares, the traffic parted and cars pulled over to let them pass.

As they came upon slower traffic ahead of them, Ryan mumbled with frustration, "Come on, asshole, move the hell over." She reached up and flipped the siren switch again, turning it off and on to try to get the dopey driver's attention. Finally, the man woke up and pulled over, and Ryan fixed an impressive glare on him as she passed. "Turn your stereo down, dickhead," she muttered as she sped on.

She picked up the cell phone and speed dialed the hospital's maternity ward, saying, "This is Officer Norden-Zamora, SCPD, I'm enroute with my wife, who's in labor...oh, and just so you're prepared, we're a lesbian couple. ETA is one minute." She listened for a moment and replied, "Great, thanks."

Looking at Janna, she said, "Okay, babe, they're waiting with a wheelchair at the emergency entrance."

"Great, love...thank you." Smiling warmly at her wife she said, "God, you're good to have around in an emergency." Her face then contorted in pain, and she said, "Whoa!"

"A strong one, Janna?"

"Yes...God, that started in my back and went all the way through." She took a deep breath.

"That's good, baby, breathe. How far apart now?"

Janna looked at her watch. "Five minutes."

"Fuck!"

"It's okay, Ryan, we're almost there."

"Honey, I thought you were gonna call me when they were ten minutes apart."

"Sweetheart, I knew you were in the middle of your DARE lesson and I didn't want to bother you."

"Janna, Jesus! Fuck...I knew I shouldn't have worked today...I had a feeling those mild contractions during the night were more than just Braxton-Hicks."

"I called the doctor when they were ten minutes apart. It's done, honey, and now we're here...stop worrying, please." She pleaded with her wife, using her pretty green eyes to proper effect.

Ryan sighed and smiled. "Okay, Janna. Jesus, I can't resist you." Just then, they arrived at the hospital and she pulled the cruiser into the ambulance bay. As expected, a nurse was waiting for them with a wheelchair.

Ryan jumped out of the car and motioned to the nurse to follow. They got Janna situated in the chair and five minutes later, she was undressing in a birthing room on the third floor.

As a nurse helped Janna to settle on the bed, Ryan removed her police belt and holstered weapon and put them into the athletic bag they had brought.

She remarked as she removed her badge and unbuttoned the top buttons of her shirt, "I'll have to try to get comfortable in this uniform."

"Oh, honey...I packed a t-shirt and sweats for you...they're in the bag."

"Janna, honey...that's great! Thank you, baby."

"Don't men...ohhh," she groaned.

"Mrs. Norden-Zamora, let's get a fetal monitor on you, alright?" The obstetrical nurse who was assisting her said. "How far apart are they now?"

"Still five minutes."

She nodded. "Good. We've called the doctor and she's on her way. Since your water has already broken and the contractions are five minutes apart, I don't think there's time to do an enema...have you eaten much today?"

"Very little...herbal tea and toast for breakfast and nothing since. I've been having the contractions since the middle of the night and didn't feel like eating."

"Okay, that sounds fine. Do you want to lie down to deliver, or sit upright? These beds go either way."

"I'd like to be as upright as possible, but with my wife sitting behind me, Lamaze-style."

"Okay, that'll work. We'll have the bed partially upright, then." She addressed Ryan, who had proceeded to change into the more comfortable clothes, "If you're ready, Mrs. Norden-Zamora, you can get in the bed first and your wife can sit back against you."

"Okay, and please, it's Ryan and Janna."

The nurse nodded and grinned as she directed Ryan onto the bed. She set their bag on the bedside table, within her reach. As soon as Janna was settled against her and as the nurse affixed the fetal monitoring strap around her belly, Ryan reached for her cell phone and called Janna's mother. After clicking the phone off, she said, "Your parents and Kris are on their way, love."

"Good, thanks honey. I know my mom wanted to be here, and Kris wants to tape this for us." She sighed and took a deep breath as the excitement of the moment began to settle in on her. She leaned back into Ryan's warm, strong body and said quietly, "I'm a little scared, Ryan."

Ryan tightened her embrace around her wife and though she felt a little afraid herself, said, "Don't worry, love. It's gonna be fine. I've got ya." She kissed Janna's neck and murmured, "Soon our baby girl will be here with us. It's gonna be so great, sweetheart...you, me and our little Halley. I can't wait, baby."

Janna started to respond, but was hit by another strong contraction and groaned instead.

Ryan checked her watch. "Four and a half minutes, Janna. She's getting ready, baby."

"Mm," Janna said, still feeling the tightening in her abdomen.

"Breath deeply, love."

Janna did, and felt better. When her wife was breathing normally again, Ryan asked, "I know it hurts, honey, but what does it feel like, exactly?"

"Like a really severe menstrual cramp...you know, the kind that burn? Only now, it's getting a lot worse, and my uterine and belly muscles feel really, really tight. It's like a wave; the muscles contract, it hurts like hell, and then it passes."

Ryan winced in sympathy and kissed her wife again. "You're doing great, Janna...I love you so much, baby."

The nurse came into the room again and as she glanced at the fetal heart rate monitor asked, "How are we doing?"

Ryan replied, "Four and a half minutes now, and they're getting stronger."

"Okay, I'm going to have a look at your cervix now, Janna." She knelt between Janna's knees and checked her dilation. "Good. Janna, you're already dilated to eight centimeters...your baby is about ready to be born. Do you know the sex?"

Janna nodded. "Girl."

"Her heart rate looks real good. I'll be back in a bit. Do you need anything...ice chips?"

Ryan answered, "Yes, please...I'd like to have some here in case she gets thirsty."

"I'll be right back with those."

"Hear that, love? Halley is coming."

"I know that, Ryan...she's getting a little pushy." She stiffened as another contraction began. "Ohh, Jesus..." She blew out a breath. "God, that's starting to hurt." She took a deep breath, moderating the pain somewhat. "God, Ryan..." As the contraction passed and her breathing evened out again, she said, "Honey, let me apologize right now for anything mean I say to you during this...the pain is just so intense." She turned her head slightly to glance at her wife and grinned as she said, "You're already starting to get on my nerves and you've been an absolute angel."

"Don't worry about it, baby. I understand pain...not that mine approached this, but I do understand."

"Thanks, love." She relaxed against her mate until another one hit a few minutes later. "Ohh...ouch..."

Ryan checked her watch. Three and a half, where's the damn doctor?

Janna panted, "How long, Ryan?"

"Three and a half, honey."

"I'd love to see the doctor any time now."

"Don't worry, Janna...the nurse said she's on her way." She'd better be on her way, God damn it.

Janna stiffened again and moaned loudly as the wave hit. "Oh Christ...I might need drugs, Ryan...I'm sor...ahh!...I'm sorry."

"Whatever you want, Janna. Slow, even breaths now."

The nurse came back in and checked the monitor. "Are they getting closer?"

"Yes...three minutes...the doctor's on her way, huh?" Ryan was beginning to show the frustration she felt.

"Yes, but I'll give her a call and see how close she is."

"God, Ryan...what if she doesn't get here in time?"

"She will, Janna...and anyway, there are obstetricians on call."

"'Kay." Janna sighed, beginning to feel the drag on her body. She had been awake since just after 2:00am when the contractions had started, and the pain was beginning to take its toll.

Two minutes later, another pain came and Janna screamed. The nurse came back into the room, pulling a gown on as she said, "The doctor just arrived and is scrubbing...she'll be right in." She looked at Ryan and said, "Okay, coach, have her do her fast breathing on the next one. Janna, hon, listen to Ryan and don't push yet, okay?"

"Okay."

Less than two minutes later, the next pain hit and Ryan coached, "Breathe, baby, blow...blow...blow...good, Janna."
"Oh, God, I need to push! Oh, Jesus..."

"Not yet, honey, breathe, now...don't push. Blow...blow...blow..."

Janna screamed as the contraction burned through her uterus and tried to do as her coach and partner instructed. "Ow, God, Ryan! Ohh, Jesus Christ," she moaned. "You're doing this the next time, Ryan...I swear to God!" She rolled her head against Ryan's chest as the agonizing pain blazed through her body and moaned again loudly.

Ryan felt the contraction lessen under her hands and said, "Okay, love, breath slowly now. You're doing great, Janna...just hang in there." She kissed her mate's neck and mopped the sweat from her brow with a towel, then brought her hands up to Janna's shoulders and massaged them lightly. "You're tense, honey, try to relax a little."

"How can I fucking relax, Ryan?" Janna snapped.

"Try, Janna. Take a deep breath for me."

Janna did and some of the tension left her shoulders as Ryan continued to massage them.

"Oh, God, here comes another one." Janna stiffened and grabbed Ryan's hands. "Ohh, God...ohhh...I have to push...I have to push..."

"The nurse, who had parked herself between Janna's knees, said, "Not quite yet, Janna. Blow."

"Blow, honey, fast...blow."

"You blow, Ry...Ryan...ahhhh!" Janna's whole body contorted under the severe pain of the contraction and she dug her short fingernails into her wife's hands. "Jesus, fu...ck, Ry..."

"Breathe, Janna, fast. Blow, blow, blow."

Janna relaxed as the pain passed, and most blessedly so. Just then, her doctor entered.

"Janna, I see Halley decided to arrive a little early!" She addressed the nurse as she pulled on a pair of gloves, "Where are we?"

"Fully dilated, contractions at just under two minutes, fetal heart rate is good."

"Glad you could make it, Pat." Ryan said, eyebrows raised.

As the doctor seated herself between Janna's legs, she grinned behind her mask, saying, "No reason to come any sooner, Ryan." She inserted her hand into Janna's cervix and gazed upward as she felt the area. "Everything's looking great, Janna." She extracted her hand and palpated Janna's abdomen. "Okay, hon. The baby is starting to move down the birth canal...it should be real soon now. How is the pain?"

"Killer, Pat, but I'm trying to do without drugs."

"You don't have to be a hero, Janna...these drugs are quite safe now."

"I'll see, Pat. Oh, God, here I go again..." She squeezed Ryan's hand again and moaned loudly.

Ryan looked at the Ob/Gyn and said, "One minute, Pat."

The doctor looked at Janna and said, "Hang on, Janna, don't push yet....don't push yet..."

"Ahhhh! I need to push, please...now...ow, Ryan, I need to pu...push."

"Breathe, honey...just breathe...you can push in a minute." Just then, Ryan felt a portion of Janna's pain through their link and would have doubled over had her wife not been lying against her. "Fuck! Jesus Christ, that hurts," she panted.

The doctor and nurse both looked at her in alarm. "What hurts, Ryan?"

Ryan was trying to take a deep breath and figure out how to block off the pain coming from Janna as she panted breathlessly, "I feel what she feels...it's a...a soulmate thing." The pain passed and Janna relaxed against her as she caught her own breath. "Fucking Christ..." She shook her head as the nurses and doctor gazed at her in amazement.

Janna moaned, near delirium, but managed to mutter, "Ground yourself, Ry...Ryan...sorry."

"It's okay, baby...I'll do that. Don't worry about me. You're doing great, love. Beautiful."

"I'm thirsty."

Ryan grabbed the cup of ice chips and tipped it against Janna's mouth. "Here, love. Just a little, now."

Janna sighed and murmured, "Thanks, love."

Less than a minute later, another spasm hit and Janna moaned. "Okay, Janna, it's time to push. Ryan, coach her."

"Push now, baby, push for me."

As the baby moved into her birth canal, Janna screamed, the pain literally cutting through her. "Ahhh! Jesus, please, get it out, please...ohhh, God..."

"That's great, Janna, now relax and breath normally. She's coming. Just a couple more pushes will do it."

Janna lay against Ryan and panted, near exhaustion. "God, honey, I feel...feel like this is killing me."

"Relax, baby, it's almost over. You're doing great. I love you, Janna. You're doing great, my love." Ryan winced as the pain cut through her as well, though not as severely as previously. She refocused her grounding cord and felt the welcome, steady pull of the Earth.

Thirty seconds later, the strongest contraction yet hit and Janna let loose a piercing scream.

"Push, Janna!" Ryan and the doctor said in unison.

"Ahh! Ryannnn!" She screamed again and rolled her head wildly against Ryan, feeling as if she were being split apart. "Ahh, get it out...get it out!" She screamed, her voice reaching higher and higher pitches as the agony took hold."

"Okay, I see her head, Janna...give me one more good push. Come on now, Janna, one more push. Coach her, Ryan."

"Push, baby, push!"

"Ahhh, God, I can't! It's ripping me open..."

"Push, Janna, she's almost here."

"Don't fucking tell me to push Ryan, God...damn...it! Ohh, Jesus...this is your...fault." Janna screamed uncontrollably then, unable to form words.

"Push, Janna, she's almost completely out. Here come her shoulders. I need you to push, Janna...now!"

Janna bore down and put every remaining bit of her energy into the effort, and the baby finally, mercifully, slipped out.

"Good, Janna...she's here...great job. Ryan, can you see her?"

Ryan craned her neck around her listless, crying wife, and saw the baby lying in the doctor's hands.

"Oh, Jesus, there she is Janna. You did it, baby! You did it! Oh, God, baby, there's our Halley!"

"It's done?"

"Yes, honey. She's here," Ryan cried.

"Oh, God," Janna sobbed.

"You have a healthy baby girl, Janna." The doctor lifted the baby onto Janna's belly then as she said to Ryan, "Mom, do you want to cut the cord?"

Ryan gazed at her wide-eyed and nodded dumbly. The nurse handed her a pair of scissors and showed her where to cut. Very carefully, Ryan reached forward and gingerly cut the tough cord, crying as she did so. The nurse deftly tied off the umbilical and settled the baby more comfortably on Janna's belly as the doctor delivered the afterbirth.

Ryan and Janna gazed in wonder at the small, pink being with the tuft of fuzzy black hair that they had brought into the world, and cried softly together. They were allowed to share the baby's first few minutes quietly before she was picked up and removed to be assessed. Several minutes later, she was placed, wrapped in a blanket, in Janna's arms.

"God, Ryan, she's beautiful. She's so beautiful." Janna was filled with a love for her child unlike any she had ever experienced. Ryan too, fell instantly in love with her daughter, and the tough cop sobbed openly as she reached around Janna to touch their daughter.

"Janna, God...she's perfect. Just like you...I love you so much, honey." She embraced Janna and felt her love returned to her through their bond.

"I love you, Ryan. So much." Janna turned her head toward Ryan's and they kissed gently, their tears of joy intermingling. They both gazed back down at their daughter and cried quietly, sharing an intense, almost overwhelming joy.

As they sat together, holding their baby while the nurses cleaned the patient and the room of the surprisingly large amount of blood, Janna's mother and sister-in-law entered the room.

When Janna looked up into her mother's eyes, her tears intensified. "Mom, meet your granddaughter, Halley Rebecca."

"Oh, Janna, Ryan...," Beth cried. "Look at all that black hair! She's beautiful."

Kris began video taping the happy event and captured luminous, exultant smiles on the two moms' faces as they gazed affectionately at their baby girl.

Ryan remained on the bed behind Janna, holding her lovingly within her arms, stunned by the love she felt for her mate and their baby. She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes. Thank you, Great Spirit, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, for blessing us with this child. Please guide us as we raise her to be a good, happy human being. She nodded and swallowed the emotion that choked her throat.

Janna sensed Ryan's prayer and echoed it, almost word for word, before leaning back more deeply into her wife's embrace. She turned her face wordlessly and her lips were captured by her devoted wife, and savored for long moments as they silently communicated their love to each other.

Their friend, Luna, from her perch above the land across the Atlantic Ocean, smiled as she sensed the birth of a new friend, and wrapped the three Norden-Zamoras within her loving energetic embrace.

The End

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
Ryan's and Janna's adventures will continue.

Thanks for reading!

Janet Lynne's e-mail address is unavailable.

Click here for a list of all of Janet Lynne's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.