Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

Comrades in Arms

Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll Warning: This is an "alternate" tale, in which a consensual physical relationship between two people of the same sex is depicted -- not graphically -- but I did my best to stimulate your imagination. If you continue to read from here, you are informing the people maintaining this web site that you are of legal age (probably 18 years or older) to read such material. The nutbread recipes in this Story do not contain hallucinogenic henbane. There is no blood, guts, gore, violence or fisticuffs in this story. The sea gets pretty rough, though.

Joxer Warning: This is a Joxer-lite episode. He was not available for an appearance (for once) and is only mentioned in passing.

Bisexual Warning: Most alternative Stories about our two heroes focus solely on their romantic interest in each other. Although I consider that of primary importance, this Story is my poor attempt to take into account their apparent interest in humans of the male persuasion.

One More Thing: I'd like to thank Jill Arenson and Wakar for their invaluable editorial and critical assistance. Their suggestions, hints, and corrections made this a much better Story.

Enough said. Now that you have successfully navigated the obstacle course of warnings, you should be sufficiently "pumped" for a good yarn. Enjoy.

'What was that!' Gabrielle woke from a sound sleep in the middle of the night with a sense that something was not quite right. She glanced at Xena's bedroll. It was empty, but no cause for alarm. The warrior was often restless in the night and got up to prowl. Gabrielle sat up and tried to determine what woke her up. She saw Argo was dozing at the edge of the clearing, and concluded they probably weren't under attack. She knew that the warhorse was much better at detecting intruders than she was.

She stood up and stretched. The only sounds were the crickets, the breeze through the trees, and an occasional pop of burning wood from the dying campfire. 'Wait,' she thought she heard something. She listened again, and picking up her staff, walked in that direction to investigate.

Careful to keep herself concealed and make no noise, she cautiously peeked around a tree. Oops, now she knew what she'd heard. Xena was standing next to a tree, her forehead pressed against the rough bark. The warrior princess sobbed very quietly, but Gabrielle suppressed her urge to rush over and comfort her friend when she realized that an interruption at this time would not be appreciated. Xena was consoling herself in a particularly personal manner. Gabrielle saw one hand massaging her breast, and the other moving in a regular rhythm under the skirt of her tunic. Blushing furiously, she backed away. As she turned to go, she heard Xena moan, "Marcus ..."

The two women leisurely traveled down a dusty road, Xena astride Argo, Gabrielle walking alongside them. Neither was in a mood to talk, and they were free to let their minds wander.

Gabrielle surreptitiously glanced up at the tall woman in the saddle. There was no evidence of the pain and loneliness she saw on her face last night. 'It's funny,' she thought, 'we've become so close and we know each other so well. Why did it never occur to me that Xena could still miss Marcus?' She blushed again. Thank the gods Xena didn't see her last night. They would probably both have died of embarrassment.

Perhaps only one of them. Xena had always been pretty matter-of-fact about sex. Before Gabrielle married Perdicus, she had made sure that the virgin was equipped with some very practical knowledge about what she could expect on her wedding night -- knowledge that had helped her to relax and enjoy her one night of marriage.

She sighed. One night. Her whole life, she has spent only that one night with a man. Her time with Perdicus was so short, sometimes it seemed like it never happened, or like a dream.

"You were pretty quiet today, Gabrielle."

"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking ... and remembering Perdicus."

They sat shoulder to shoulder staring at the fire in a small cave. Thunder rumbled and wind howled at the entrance. They had made camp early because of the threatening storm.

Xena put her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "I know you miss him." She didn't say anything about how much she missed Gabrielle when she left her to marry her childhood sweetheart. Or about how frightened she had been by Gabrielle's attempts at revenge for his death at Callisto's hands.

"Well, I do miss him. At least I have some nice memories. I just wish ... that there were more of them." She looked sad. "I never even got to cook dinner for him." A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.

Xena didn't say anything, just squeezed her shoulder.

"Xena? I know you miss Marcus, too. But have you ever ... uh ... thought about ... being with anyone else?" Before Xena could respond, Gabrielle interrupted herself. "You don't have to answer that. I know it's kind of a personal question."

Xena smiled at her. She could tell that Gabrielle didn't really intend to pry: she was just trying to reach some kind of understanding of her own feelings.

"That's OK, I can answer. Yes, I do think about meeting someone else. But who? We meet a lot of men, Gabrielle; but most of them try to bash our heads in, or lack other qualities I find attractive -- like regular bathing."

Gabrielle smiled. "You're right!"

"Or their idea of flirting is to just grab you ..." Their conversation descended to the level that sometimes tempts women when they haven't kept company with a pleasant man for a while. "... pinching ... bad breath ... cheap ... married ..." And so on. Still, the dishing session cheered them both up, and before you know it, it was time to retire for the night.

"Good night, Gabrielle."

"Good night, Xena. Pleasant dreams."

Xena's dreams that night were particularly vivid. She tossed and turned, talked in her sleep. Her voice roused the sleeping bard only inches away.

"C'mon Marcus ..." She roughly pulled a very startled Gabrielle close to her and mumbled, " ... I need you ..." Diplomatically, Gabrielle tried to squirm out of Xena's grasp, but her efforts only seemed to excite Xena. The larger woman slammed her to her back and rolled on top of her, muscular thighs straddling her hips. Xena ground against Gabrielle, who was rigid with shock beneath her.

Nevertheless, to her great surprise, the bard's body responded to the intensity of Xena's passionate onslaught. As the warrior kissed and nipped at her neck, she arched against the woman on top of her and wrapped her arms around her neck. Xena kissed her way up Gabrielle's neck and then pounced on her lips. Gabrielle had never been kissed like this! Xena's tongue in her mouth was a raging force. She could feel her eyes roll back in her head, and she held on to Xena even tighter.

"Mmmm ... Marcus, your lips are so ..." Xena's eyes flew open, "soft." She rolled to get off of the Amazon princess, but Gabrielle was still under the influence of Xena's kiss and hanging on for dear life. She landed on top of the warrior and continued the kiss..

"Mmfh!" Xena tore her mouth away. "Gabrielle!" She tried to extricate herself from the Amazon princess' clinch.

Gabrielle finally came to her senses and stared at the mortified Xena.

"Gabrielle, I'm so sorry. I ... I don't know what to say." She dumped the little bard onto the blanket beside her and jumped up. She dashed out of the cave, and into the howling storm. Gabrielle watched her go. "Wow!" She whispered to herself, "That Marcus was one lucky guy!"

A rain-drenched Xena stood at the cave's entrance later that night. She saw that Gabrielle was still awake. 'Might as well get this over with.'

"Gabrielle."

"There you are! Come over here by the fire. Look at you, you're soaked. What were you thinking, staying out in the rain like that?" Xena looked at her quizzically as Gabrielle rummaged about, insisting she change into dry clothes and putting one of the blankets around her shoulders.

"Here, I made some hot tea." Gabrielle handed her a steaming mug and sat down next to her.

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?"

Exasperated, Xena turned to her. "Gabrielle, I was practically raping you in your sleep!"

Indignantly, Gabrielle retorted back. "You were not. You were just having a really intense dream, a very nice one, if I'm any judge." She looked away and hung her head. "You're the one that should be mad."

"Me!"

"Well, I was awake a little sooner than you were. I should have ... yelled or something. It's just that ..."

"What?"

"... I really liked what you were doing."

Xena's jaw dropped. She shut her mouth.

"Xena, you told me something once, about the men in your army ..."

"MY ARMY! What does that have to do with anything?"

"Let me finish. You told me how, sometimes a man would get really scared, or lonely, and would turn to ... a comrade ... for comfort. I think you've just been needing, I don't know, to be held, to be touched, for a while now."

"You were trying to comfort me?"

"Well, at first I was. But then," she turned and looked Xena in the eye, "what you were doing felt so good I just got caught up in the moment."

Gabrielle watched the fire as if it had answers to an important question. Xena just looked as if she wanted to know what the question was.

"I'm sorry, Xena. I didn't mean to surprise you like that."

"Surprise. It was a big surprise."

Gabrielle finished her tea, set the cup aside, returned to her bedroll and laid down. "Well, I learned two things tonight, Xena."

"What's that?" Xena turned to look over her shoulder at the reclining bard.

"Embarrassment isn't fatal."

"And ..."

"You're one hades of a kisser, Xena."

Xena did not return to her bedroll that night.

Gabrielle's curiosity about this newly discovered skill of Xena's eventually led her to the conclusion that Xena should give her kissing lessons. With stubborn persistence, she argued and persuaded over a period of several weeks, and eventually Xena condescended to give her a demonstration.

"Like this?"

"You look like you're sucking a lemon. Try to relax your mouth a little. No, no, that's too relaxed. Watch me." Xena tenderly kissed the back of her own hand. She couldn't believe Gabrielle had talked her into this ... this seminar.

Gabrielle followed suit and kissed the back of her hand.

"That's a little better. Just keep practicing, Gabrielle."

"OK, but what about noses?"

"Noses?"

Gabrielle turned to Xena. "Noses. How do you keep from bumping noses? Where do I put my hands? Do I close my eyes or keep them open?"

Xena sighed with exasperation. "Didn't Perdicus kiss you at all?"

"Well sure he did! But I still don't know if I was doing it right. We went on to other things so fast."

Xena rolled her eyes toward the skies. 'Typical wedding night.' "OK, OK, noses ... here, stand up."

Gabrielle stood and faced her.

"Right. Let's take this one step at a time." She frowned in concentration, planted her feet, braced her shoulders, looking for all the world as if she was preparing for battle. "Let's see now, you'd put one arm over their shoulder with your hand behind their neck ..." She demonstrated, resting her arm on an imaginary shoulder. "... and the other hand around their waist."

"This way?"

Xena scrutinized Gabrielle's form. "Relax your shoulders a little. That looks about right."

"Noses?" Gabrielle's arms were still in the position of embrace.

"Just tilt your head to the side ... no, not that far."

Gabrielle stamped her foot with frustration. "How far? Are you laughing at me?"

Xena quickly suppressed her grin. Gabrielle did look pretty funny with her arms in the air and her ear on her shoulder, but it would be cruel to laugh. Nevertheless, her blue eyes were twinkling as she smiled kindly at her friend. "No, I'm not laughing. Let your arms down."

The warrior princess took a step closer to the Amazon. She cupped the smaller woman's face in her hands. "About this much." She leaned down so that their faces were very close, lips nearly touching. "Enough to miss noses."

"And my eyes? Open or shut?"

"Whatever's comfortable. None of this is written in stone, you know."

Gabrielle's trust in Xena may not have been etched in rock, but it was there in her eyes, immutable as granite, as their gazes locked. There was something else, too. "Show me, Xena," she whispered.

Forgetting all previous instructions about what to do with hands, arms, eyes and noses, Xena moved her lips a breath closer to Gabrielle and kissed her. Their lips barely touched, but the kiss ignited the spark of a flame which Xena had thought manageable until now. When she opened her eyes, Gabrielle's were closed.

"Again." The Amazon commanded. Xena was unable to do anything but comply. It soon became apparent to the little bard from Poteidaia that this whole kissing business didn't require lessons at all -- it came to her very naturally. She also realized that she wouldn't have to ask Xena what to do with her tongue, because the warrior princess was giving her an excellent demonstration.

One thing led to another, and their relationship became one that occasionally included sex. Nothing romantic, mind you. They were after all, just very ... very close friends. It was comfortable, relaxed, and well, friendly, between them.

Sometimes when they were together, Xena pretended she was with Marcus. Despite the obvious differences in equipment, what Gabrielle and Marcus had in common were arms that could hold a lonely warrior princess, lips that responded to hers with passion, and the ability to satisfy the needs of a strong, dynamic woman with a very healthy sexual appetite. But more often than not, it was Gabrielle's name she cried out in the heat of her excitement. The combination of enthusiasm and intensity demonstrated by the bard at these moments had proven to be irresistible to the warrior princess.

After one particularly strenuous, but satisfying encounter, the two of them lay on their backs side by side in the fragrant grass of a mountain meadow.

"Gabrielle, you are amazing."

"Yes I am, aren't I." Her hair was plastered to her forehead with perspiration, and she had a smug expression. Xena's compliments were rare indeed. She giggled and blurted out, "I have many skills."

Xena snorted, rolled over and propped herself up on an elbow. Despite Gabrielle's mirth, Xena's expression was serious when she spoke. "Gabrielle?"

"Yes, Xena?"

"Do you think I'm using you? I mean ... for this ..." She waved her hand in a gesture that encompassed their disheveled state.

"Using me? I'll show you 'use' ..." Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena's neck and tried to kiss her, but Xena needed an answer to her question and pushed her back to the ground.

"Really, Gabrielle, I'm serious. Do you think I take advantage of you?"

Realizing that Xena actually wanted to talk sobered Gabrielle. She smiled gently at her friend. "Why would I think that?"

"It's just that I'm older, more experienced ..."

"... and you think you've overpowered me with your wisdom and vast experience. Is that it?"

"I wouldn't put it quite that way, but yeah, that's sort of what I'm thinking."

Gabrielle sat up and crossed her legs. She stroked Xena's forehead, brushing the damp strands of dark hair away from the clear blue eyes that gazed worriedly at her. "Xena, we've been traveling together now, about what, two years? And we've been friends most of that time, right?"

Xena nodded.

"And in the last two years, you have rescued me from slavers, Draco, Callisto, Bacchus, Titans, and I couldn't even begin to count how many ambushes, bandits and barflies. You've taught me how to build a campfire, find my own food. You've taken me from one end of Greece to the other, introduced me to Hercules, Iaolus, Centaurs, and the Amazons. You've taken care of me when I was sick, wounded, hungry, cold, or just plain tired. You have tolerated me, bossed me, bullied me, patronized me, and intimidated me."

Xena opened her mouth to speak, but Gabrielle put her hand up. "Let me finish. Where was I? Oh yeah, intimidating. You can definitely be intimidating, daunting, overwhelming and exasperating. But when we're together like this, Xena ... when you respond to my touch, when you call my name because of what I'm doing to you, I'm the one that's powerful, in command. You can't begin to imagine what it's done for my self-confidence.

"I know you try, most of the time, to treat me as an equal, as a friend, but sometimes your superior knowledge and experience do get in the way of that. You have this tendency to want to fight my fights for me, to shield me - - from the harsh realities of life and from your past. I don't fault you for that, Xena: it's the way you are. But when we have sex, you treat me like the adult, the grown woman, that I am. And I get to see a side of you that you don't show very often: the part of you that is vulnerable, that has needs other than food and sleep."

Gabrielle ticked off another point with her fingers. "Then there's the obvious matter of what I'm discovering about myself, and about what I need and want. Perdicus is the only other person I've been with, and that was just one night. My time with him was very special, and I'll treasure the memory always, but one night was not nearly enough to last me a lifetime. With you, I get to explore my own desires, with someone I know cares about me, that would never hurt me. I feel safe with you, Xena: safe to try things, safe to learn."

"So I'm your guinea pig." Xena was not entirely certain what to think about being the subject of Gabrielle's sexual experimentation. But as Gabrielle lay down next to her and kissed her, the warrior's questions were vanquished by the power of the bard's kiss.

"Oh and one other thing ... it's so much fun!"

Xena came away from their conversation with the understanding that Gabrielle was getting her sexual experience from the warrior princess in the absence of other, more suitable, options. She determined to encourage her friend to "branch out" when the opportunity arose: she didn't want to hold Gabrielle back. In an unsubtle, but persistent warlord fashion, she regularly interrogated the bard about her tastes and preferences concerning the men they encountered in their travels, and began to plot her campaign to 'Find a Man For Gabrielle.'

"What about that one? He's got such nice long black hair."

"Needs washing."

The two women rested in the shade of a large oak tree at the side of a busy road, enjoying their view of the people parading past them. Xena considered this a prime opportunity to advance her strategy. They seldom saw so many people all at once, unless they were in a city. Maybe after this, she'd take Gabrielle to Athens. There were lots of men there.

"... dazzling blue eyes ..."

"He squints, though. Probably can't see ten lengths down the road."

"... good smile .."

"Goofy-looking." Xena was totally unaware of her unconscious sabotage of the finding-a-man-plan. If Gabrielle had something nice to say about any of the men they were discussing, she managed to find some glaring (in her mind) fault that rendered them an inappropriate choice for her conspiracy of one. Nor was she aware that a man did not exist in the entire known world who could ever meet the impossibly high standards she used to gauge whether a guy was good enough for Gabrielle. She eyed the procession of man-flesh before them as if they were uninvited ants at a picnic.

"... I like his horse. Isn't that a palamino?"

"Scruffy nag."

"... nice butt ..."

Xena shot a startled glance at Gabrielle.

The bard grinned mischievously at her. "Well, you asked!" Xena's expression was priceless, and Gabrielle burst into laughter.

The warrior princes rewarded her with a dazzling smile. She couldn't resist the music of Gabrielle's mirth.

Gabrielle looked past her, "Well now, HE'S kind of cute."

Xena turned and saw a man approaching them. 'He's old enough to be Gabrielle's father!' Before she could render her "objective" opinion, she realized that Gabrielle was referring to the young man in the older one's wake. She narrowed her eyes and examined him critically. Decent looking, clean enough, well formed ... she'd reserve judgment for now.

"Xena?" The older man held a hat in his hands.

"Yes?" He looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place where she'd seen him before.

"You probably don't remember me, but you might remember this." He pulled his sleeve up to reveal a scar that circled his left biceps. "I was wounded in the Mitoan-Thessalian civil war, and you saved my life, and my arm. I never got a chance to thank you."

"Nasty war, that." Xena stood and offered Gabrielle a hand up. There were so many wounded in the healer's temple that didn't make it, she was glad to meet someone who had actually survived.

"Yes, yes it was. I'm glad that's all behind us now." The younger man nudged him. "Oh, this is my son, Tomas. Tomas, this is Xena the Warrior Princess and her friend Gabrielle. Gabrielle was at the temple and helped take care of me, too. I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Miss."

"Thank you, uh ..."

"William."

"William. I'm glad you're doing better, too. So, where are you two traveling?"

"Ah, well, we're moving the family to a small village near Delphi. Home just hasn't been the same since the war ... still lots of hard feelings on both sides, and the harvest hasn't been too good either. My cousin has offered to share his farm with us, and we're looking forward to a fresh start."

"How exciting for you! A new beginning. Congratulations!" Gabrielle enthused, but didn't take her eyes off Tomas -- a development that Xena observed with interest.

"Yes, well, there you have it. So anyway, Xena, Gabrielle, there's no way to repay you for what you did for me, but my wife and I wanted to know if you'd consider having a meal with us tonight. It won't be anything fancy ..."

"You don't have to do anything ..." Xena was embarrassed by William's gratitude.

"Nonsense, we'd love to!" Gabrielle interrupted. 'Someone else's cooking!' She wasn't going to pass up a chance to dine on something besides the jerky and hard tack she knew was on the menu that night. Besides, she wanted a chance to talk to this Tomas fellow.

"It's settled then. We're in the wagon with the speckled goat tied to it, about half a league down the road. Dinner should be ready about sundown." He hurried away, son in tow, before Xena could object.

Dinner was a pleasant, relaxing affair. William, his wife Willa, and Tomas were congenial hosts, and even Xena enjoyed the evening's conversation. In fact, as they parted company, she amiably let herself be persuaded to plan a visit to their Delphic farm during the spring planting festival, two moons hence.

They almost didn't make it in time for the festival, having been delayed by Xena's death, Gabrielle's succession to Amazon royalty, their defeat of Gareth the giant, Meleager's trial, Gabrielle's kidnaping by Palaemon, and Xena's stubborn reluctance to ask strangers for directions. Eventually, though, they located the farm of William's cousin. As they approached their new friends' home, Gabrielle chattered excitedly about the upcoming festival.

"... there'll be food, music, dancing ..."

"Tomas ... "

"Xena ," warned Gabrielle, "don't start up with that again. You've been trying to fix me up with every halfway tolerable male between here and Athens for weeks. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get rid of me." And if it wasn't for the fact that Xena continued to make regular advances toward her, she really would think the warrior princess was trying to dump her off on some guy. What was going on in that woman's head?

"I thought you liked Tomas."

"Well I do, but I also like William and Willa. Let's not make a big thing out of this. They're our friends, and we've got a chance to relax and party while we're here. Let's just leave it at that. OK?"

"OK."

Gabrielle looked at Xena with suspicion. She had capitulated all too quickly for the bard to believe that the warrior princess would abandon her strange matchmaking efforts. But as usual, the warrior princess' expression told her nothing.

Xena for her part, had no intention of a cessation to her project. She just had to be a little more subtle, that's all. It wasn't as if she was trying to get RID of Gabrielle: she just wanted what she thought was best for her friend. It never occurred to her that the very best possible candidate for Gabrielle's affections was walking down the dusty road beside the Amazon Queen.

The two women were warmly welcomed by William and his family, and immediately made to feel right at home. The planting celebrations had started the day before their arrival, but would continue for several more days. Eager plans were made by all for participation in the festivities: Willa had entered her mint jelly in a recipe contest, William's draft horse was a finalist as the best plow horse, and Tomas was to be a participant in a tug of war. Gabrielle was looking forward to the feasting and dancing; Xena, to sampling the new wines and arranging as much time alone as possible for Gabrielle and Tomas.

Gabrielle and Tomas did wind up spending a lot of time together: they were about the same age, and discovered mutual interests in many of the activities available to them at the festival. But Gabrielle managed to foil Xena's plot to leave them alone with her constant insistence that the warrior woman accompany them on their explorations of the celebration.

"Whew!" Gabrielle plopped down on a bench between Tomas and Xena. "How did I let myself get talked into judging the nutbread?" She contentedly patted her belly.

"Who else would they ask?" Xena grinned as the nutbread connoisseur adjusted the binding of her skirt to more comfortably accommodate of the results of her appetite. This was the first time she'd ever seen Gabrielle reach the point of nutbread satiation. The occasion had been an epic event of both proportion AND portion.

"You were great, Gabrielle." Tomas started to tell her how impressive her capacity for the treat had been, but was treated himself to a very impressive flash of muscular thigh as the Amazon Queen fiddled with her skirt. With gentlemanly effort he looked away, only to meet the stern, intimidating gaze of two clear blue eyes. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. "Uh, just great, Gabrielle."

Unconscious of the psychological cold water she had just dumped on poor Tomas, Xena attempted a getaway. "I think I'll go check out the leather working display. Maybe I can find a new whip ..."

'Shopping!' Gabrielle bounced to her feet. "Good idea! Let's go!"

"That's OK, you stay here and have some fun. You know how I get when I'm looking for just the right ..."

"Exactly. And you still haven't found a new whip. Besides, you have to admit I'm better at the bargaining part than you are."

"Just because I don't like to haggle doesn't mean I can't."

"Xena, I'm the one that traded your whip for a frying pan. I still feel bad about it, and I want to help you get a new one. I'm coming with you, and that's that!"

'Whips? Shopping? No way!' Tomas cleared his throat. "Ahem. You two go on and enjoy yourselves ('as if!') shopping. I'll go see how father's horse is doing."

The two women watched him walk away, both clearly puzzled that he didn't want to join them in the joys of bullwhip buying.

Gabrielle nonchalantly ate from a cluster of grapes, juggling her staff from the crook of one elbow to another. She attempted to engage the leather merchant in distracting conversation about tanning techniques. He suspiciously watched the warrior woman behind her, fingering his inventory.

" ... and oil rubbed in-"

"What's she doing?" The merchant interrupted Gabrielle. Xena uncoiled a whip, held it up to check for satisfactory length, letting the tip trail in the dust.

"Looking for a whip." When the merchant opened his mouth to protest, Gabrielle hastily explained, "She's very particular."

They both watched as Xena closely examined every inch of stitching and braiding. Apparently satisfied with its construction, she began to loosely swing the end back and forth. Other customers at the stall stepped back to give her room.

Gabrielle turned back to the merchant. "As I said, very particular. She has a whole list of things that she says make a good whip."

"Such as?"

The red headed woman started ticking points off on her fingers, "Well first, it has to look good. I guess that one's OK, otherwise she wouldn't have picked it up. Then-"

CRACK! Xena popped the whip. More people gave her room. CRACK!-CRACK!-CRACK! She popped it again.

Unperturbed by the noise behind her, Gabrielle continued, "... it has to sound right. Of course that's not all, there are other elements to consider ..."

"GABRIELLE! STAFF!"

Without turning around, Gabrielle planted the staff on the ground and held it out at arms length. POP! The whip snaked around the staff and yanked it out of her hand. POP! The bard turned around just in time to grab the staff Xena had returned to her hand with unerring accuracy. " ... there's versatility, ..." She turned her attention back to the merchant.

"GRAPE!" called Xena. Gabrielle plucked a grape and placed it on top of the staff.

CRACK!

"... accuracy ... mmm," She popped the perfectly peeled grape in her mouth. "... um ..." The merchant's eyes grew round with astonishment, and she looked over her shoulder just in time to see the warrior princess fling the whip around a tree branch above her head, jump up about six feet, grab the leather and swing back and forth.

"Right. And strength. There's one more, I can never remember ..."

POP! The whip lashed out, snaking around the bard's waist. As Xena whisked Gabrielle toward her, "Oh yeah, suppleness."

"It'll do." Xena grasped the smaller woman's shoulders to steady her. Applause and cheers erupted from the crowd that had gathered to watch their amazing demonstration. They both looked surprised. You'd think these people had never seen a whip test-run.

"Xena! At last I've found you!" Willa elbowed her way through the audience. "Your healer skills are needed: the headman's daughter is giving birth, and she's in trouble!"

The crowd gasped, started to close in, but halted at Xena's glare.

"Here, Gabrielle. Haggle." She handed the whip and her coinpurse over to her friend, and dashed after Willa without a backward glance.

The bard bartered and bargained for Xena's new toy (with a discount of three dinars for their extremely effective advertisement of his product!), and cheerfully went away in search of Tomas. At least there were lots of fun things to do while she was waiting for the warrior princess to return.

Hours later, Gabrielle collapsed on a bench in the village square. She and Tomas had danced every dance that evening, and her feet needed a break.

"How about some cider, Gabrielle?" Tomas gasped for breath as he stood before her, worn out by the young woman's indefatigable energy, but too gallant and kindhearted to neglect his gentlemanly duties.

"That sounds good, Tomas." Gabrielle fanned herself with a hand as she waited for him to return. She had enjoyed her afternoon and evening with the young man. He had been a good sport all day, and had congenially accompanied her in a thorough exploration of the festival. The trouble was, poor Tomas just didn't have much to offer in the conversation department after he had exhausted the topics of planting, plowing and harvesting -- a farm boy to the bone.

"Thanks, Tomas." Gabrielle quickly downed the cool, refreshing liquid. She blinked. Blinked again. Heard children giggling from the shadows behind them. She shook her head and looked at Tomas. He didn't look bad, though ... not bad at all.

A tired, but pleased Xena walked back toward the village square with William. The world was richer by one new life that night, and the mother was doing extremely well. Her healing services had not been as urgently needed as Willa had led her to believe -- the headmaster's daughter had merely been suffering from a lack of confidence in her own body's abilities.

They both grinned at the couple approaching them. "That's Katherine, the herbalist, and her son Newt." William snickered. "Looks like he got caught in the middle of another practical joke."

Katherine furiously scolded her son, firmly leading him by the ear. As they drew nearer, her words carried in the gentle evening breeze. "... just wait till I get you home, young man! Your father will have a word or two to say about you pouring my aphrodisiac in the festival cider barrel! I can't believe you ... Oh hello, William. Good evening to you!"

"And to you, Katherine." William stared blankly at Katherine's back, then at Xena. Realization dawned on his face at the same instant it appeared on Xena's. As one, they whirled and pounded off toward the square.

Gabrielle had Tomas in an unbreakable clinch, bent backwards over the bench. She attempted once again to apply the kissing technique Xena had taught her so well. The hapless fellow was hard pressed to resist.

"Oh no you don't!" Xena pulled her friend off of Tomas.

"Hey!" Gabrielle struggled and tried to grab the young man again.

William helped his son to stand and looked into his eyes. They were as frightened and vulnerable as a startled deer's. "Are you alright? Did you drink any cider? Tomas?" He shook the boy. "Can you understand me, Tomas?"

Regaining his wits, the young man replied, "Cider? No, you know I don't like cider."

William breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Xena.

Xena was still having difficulty restraining Gabrielle. The Amazon Queen was on the ground and had nearly eluded her grasp. She came within inches of grabbing Tomas' ankle. He recoiled in horror. Xena sat on Gabrielle and twisted the bard's arm behind her.

"William ..."

"OW!"

"... is there ..."

"LET ME GO!"

"... an antidote ..."

"XENA! GET OFF OF ME!"

"... for this?"

"OW! YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!"

Xena released Gabrielle's arm, but used a pressure point to knock her out. She looked hopefully up at William and Tomas.

"Sorry Xena, no antidote. But this happened at the fall planting, too. If you can keep her out like this, she should be herself in about an hour or so."

The warrior sighed with resignation as she stood, "I can't leave a pinch on her that long. I'll just have to lock her up in our room." She looked down at her prostrate friend. "Maybe you two shouldn't be here when she wakes up."

They rushed hastily away as Xena bent over Gabrielle.

"I hope there's no hard feelings, Tomas."

"No Gabrielle, of course not. You couldn't help yourself."

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for a while then." Gabrielle took a step forward as if to hug him in farewell.

Tomas hurriedly grabbed her hand and pumped it. "Take care, Gabrielle." He looked up at the woman mounted on Argo behind her. "You too, Xena."

The warrior princess smiled down at him. "I will. Goodbye, Tomas." Clucking to the horse, she turned toward the road, and the bard reluctantly followed.

Tomas watched them go, his expression a confused mixture of loss and relief.

Hours later, the two camped for the night.

"Gabrielle." No response.

"Gabrielle." The Amazon Queen had not deigned to speak to her since they departed William's farm this morning.

"Gabrielle, I said I was sorry! Please talk to me."

The boiling bard whirled to face the whining warrior. "I can't believe you tied me up! And with your new whip!"

"It was the only thing handy, Gabrielle."

"You're missing the point, Xena. You TIED me UP! And to add insult to injury, you GAGGED me, too!"

"But you kept yelling ... people were trying to sleep ..."

"YOU were trying to sleep!"

"Well I didn't, did I!" Xena turned up the volume of her voice to match Gabrielle's. "You wouldn't stop yelling even after the cider wore off! They were going to kick us out of the inn last night instead of this morning!" Every time she'd tried to remove the gag, Gabrielle started shouting at her again. She'd finally given up trying until the furious female fell asleep. Then she had refused to speak to Xena from the time she woke up. Until now. Now she was yelling -- again.

"So why didn't we leave THEN? Did you really care about what those people thought? More than how I felt about being BOUND AND GAGGED BY MY BEST FRIEND?!" Gabrielle continued to rail at Xena, shaking her fist under the warrior's nose.

Xena blinked. 'She has a point there.' She grabbed Gabrielle's fist. "I was just trying ..."

"...to do what YOU thought best! Isn't that the way it always is?" Gabrielle turned her back on her friend. "You tried to fix me up with Tomas. Even after I asked you to drop it. Admit it."

"But he was a nice ... "

"And he wasn't the first one either, was he?"

"Uh, no."

"Xena. Did it ever occur to you that I didn't WANT a boyfriend? That I wasn't READY?"

"But-"

"Don't. Just. Don't. Say. Anything. Else." Gabrielle ground out the words through gritted teeth.

Xena knew she wouldn't be able to budge the bard from her stubborn stance with the power of words alone. So she decided to take another tack and use a strategy tried and proven by many a witty warlord through the ages: she would cheat. Grabbing Gabrielle's shoulder, she whirled the smaller woman around, pulled her close in an unbreakable embrace, and kissed her.

Now Gabrielle already knew Xena was a great kisser, and had enjoyed the many opportunities presented to her to confirm that knowledge. But this was a warrior kiss -- they were, after all, in a kind of war -- a war of wills. Even as she pounded a fist against Xena's chest to protest this treacherous tactic, her resistance crumbled. Her fists relaxed, and she seized the hair at the back of the warrior's head with both hands as her lips parted in surrender.

The next morning Gabrielle uncharacteristically was the first to wake. She removed herself from beneath the naked woman on top of her and slowly gathered the various articles of clothing scattered randomly about the campsite. She shook the leaves and twigs out of her skirt and top, dressed and put water on to boil.

Xena heard the bard stirring, rolled over and sat up. She also dressed, then sat down on a rock next to Gabrielle and took the offered mug of tea. "Thanks."

Silence reigned for several moments as Gabrielle blearily waited for the morning cobwebs to clear from her thoughts. She needed to be coherent before she said what she had to say. "Xena, I think we need to talk."

The warrior's expression was guarded. "OK."

"What you did last night was very unfair."

'Oh, that.' Caught red handed and red faced, Xena didn't reply. She might have known that her flanking maneuver would only temporarily distract Gabrielle.

"I'll admit, Xena, that I enjoy sex with you. I enjoy it very much, actually. But all this time you had me fooled. I thought that this was the one thing in which we were equals. After last night, I know that's not true.

"You may not think it was important, but to me it was. All this time, it was like we were playing, having fun together. You would loosen up and relax your guard. And I was having so much fun with you, I didn't have to or want to seriously think about the other people we met. But last night, I learned that we're not equal, that you can just turn off my mind and turn on my body any time you want. And you did it to stop an argument -- not because you wanted to be with me, not because you desired me -- just because you wanted to shut me up."

"Gabrielle ..." She opened her mouth to deny her friend's accusation, but her defense failed before it was even offered. She could not sully the integrity of Gabrielle's honesty by denying it with a lie. She had done exactly what her friend described. "I ... I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are. I know I wish this had never happened."

Xena reached out to comfort Gabrielle, but she shied away from the touch. "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

The warrior's hand remained suspended in the air, mere inches from the bard's shoulder, but her stomach plummeted to the depths of Hades. Once again she had let the habits of her warlord days cast their dark shadow across her soul, and that shadow had fallen between her and the one true light by which she navigated her quest for redemption: her friendship with Gabrielle.

Gabrielle continued, "Xena, I know that you like to win, but I had no idea just how far you'd go to win an argument with me."

"I don't think I won." No, she had lost -- something very important to her -- Gabrielle's respect.

The bard was silent for a while, but it was apparent she was still thinking.

"Xena," Gabrielle took a deep breath. "This is hard for me to say," Xena braced herself, fully expecting Gabrielle to inform her that she planned to part ways with the warrior princess. "But I don't think we should ... be intimate with each other any more."

"Ever?" Xena could barely breathe. It wasn't as bad as she expected, but it was still very, very bad.

"I don't know, probably."

Very bad indeed.

"Maybe we should just work at being friends, partners. Sex seems to have complicated that, for me at least."

"If that's what you want, Gabrielle."

"It's what I want."

'It's just sex.' Xena told herself, shrugging and typically understating the problem in the same manner she would assess an ambush ("There's just thirty of them."). Why then did she have this feeling that this was going to cause her grief?

The tension level remained high between them for several days. Gabrielle needed some time to think over what she had learned about Xena and herself. The warrior princess discovered a couple of things about herself as well. She had gone long periods of time before without sex, that was no problem. When other people with whom she had been intimate had left her, she had prided herself on her ability to "shrug it off" and continue on to her next sexual conquest. There were always plenty of offers from which she could pick and choose. What did it matter as long as the next one pleased her?

What was different this time was that she missed Gabrielle. She missed the sex, of course -- Gabrielle was a lovely, passionate young woman. But even more, she missed the touching, the freedom to put her arm around Gabrielle, to hold her hand, to stroke the soft red-gold hair. Until the privilege was lost to her, she hadn't realized how important these simple, affectionate gestures were to her.

And it wasn't only the physical aspect she missed. Gabrielle just didn't seem as comfortable, as open, as she had before. Gone were the hours of inconsequential chatter that had made the many leagues they traveled seem so much shorter. Gone were the annoying, prying questions that Xena didn't always answer but that still forced the warrior to examine every past mistake, every wrong move of her past, and helped her to grow and change into a better (she hoped) person.

Yes, she missed Gabrielle: her friend, her best friend.

Gabrielle watched Xena quietly unpack her saddle bags. They couldn't go on like this another day. "Xena?"

Ignoring the wary look the warrior princess gave her, "Do you mind fixing dinner tonight? I'd like to take a bath right away."

"Sure. No problem." She'd jump off a cliff if Gabrielle asked her to. If the bard wanted to risk her life eating Xena's cooking, she'd oblige her.

"Thanks. I'll be back in a few minutes." The bard gathered her toiletries and walked to the stream a few yards away. Quickly she stripped, stepped into the stream, and began scrubbing away at the day's grime. She rinsed off, but stayed in the water, enjoying the refreshing soak after the dust and heat of the road. She ruminated on what to do about Xena, but no inspiration struck her until the warrior called out that dinner was ready. Drying off and dressing quickly, she hurried to join the warrior at their campsite.

The silence continued for several minutes. Gabrielle was looking for just the right opening, and at last Xena cooperated. She looked up from the bowl of fish stew she was eating and asked, "Aren't you hungry?"

"I guess this must be rabbit." Gabrielle dramatically picked something imaginary out of her dish. "I just found a hare."

Xena was halfway up off the log on which she was seated and about to offer to trade bowls, when it hit her. 'Rabbit. Hare. Joke. Laugh.' Well, she didn't really laugh: it was a pretty lame joke after all. But Gabrielle was rewarded with twinkling blue eyes, a smile and a groan that properly conveyed the painful nature of her jest. "That's what you get for letting me cook. 'Can't even tell the difference between fish and rabbit."

Gabrielle graced her with a smile. "It's not rabbit?"

"Afraid not. Fish."

The bard looked suspiciously at her dinner then back up at the warrior. "Have I ever told you the story of my great, great, great uncle Otto?"

'A story!' "Uh, no." She hoped she hadn't heard it before.

"Well, great, great, great uncle Otto was a wandering man. He traveled far and wide, exploring many distant lands. There was this one time that he found himself a long, long, long way to the north, visiting a people that lived in a very cold country. There were mountains too high to climb, snow that would get so deep it could cover an entire house. And in the coldest part of winter, the lake would freeze so solidly that a person could walk across the water to the other side, many leagues away.

"One day one of the villagers asked him if he wanted to go fishing. He eagerly agreed, wanting to discover how one caught fish when the lake was frozen over. At his friend's instruction, he bundled up in thick, heavy furs, and covered his hands with wool that had been sewn especially for that purpose. The two men looked like strange, furry animals as they trudged through the drifting snow. Great, great, great uncle Otto was a little nervous when they first stepped onto the surface of the lake, but it seemed solid enough, and his friend didn't seem the least concerned about the ice breaking. Finally, they stopped at a likely looking spot, and uncle Otto's friend used an axe to chop a hole in the ice. They baited their hooks, and bundled up in another heavy fur to keep warm, and waited for the fish to bite. They waited. Uncle Otto's friend pulled out a flask and offered him a drink of fiery liquor. They waited some more. The flask was half empty, and still no fish.

"Great, great, great uncle Otto was beginning to wonder if all the fish in the lake were frozen as solid as his toes, when a young boy passed them. It was obvious he was outfitted to do some fishing as well, although he was not as elaborately equipped as the two older men. Having nothing else to do (the fish weren't biting! Not so much as a nibble all day!), they watched as the lad used a rock to knock a ragged hole in the ice, baited his hook, and carelessly tossed it into the icy waters. Bam! As soon as his hook hit the water, he had a fish! The men sat up straighter and watched a little closer as he nonchalantly tossed the fish on the ice and re-baited. Splash! Another fish! And another!

"Too cold and too curious to worry about their pride, Uncle Otto and his friend walked over to talk to the boy. 'What's your secret, boy?' They asked the red-cheeked fellow.

"He pulled another fish from the water and replied, 'Weep war wirth wrrm.' Uncle Otto looked at his friend. Perhaps he understood the boy's strange dialect.

" 'What?' His friend's brow was wrinkled in puzzlement.

" 'Weep war WIRTH wrrrrm,' the boy emphatically explained.

"Uncle Otto and his friend still didn't understand what the boy said. 'Young man,' great, great, great Uncle Otto's friend scolded the boy, 'You were taught to respect your elders. Now I asked you a simple question, and I expect a simple answer. HOW DO YOU CATCH SO MANY BLASTED FISH WHEN OTTO AND I HAVE BEEN FREEZING OUR HIND ENDS OFF ALL DAY AND HAVEN'T SEEN SO MUCH AS A SLIMY SCALE!'

"Uncle Otto put a calming hand on his friend's shoulder as the boy set down his fishing line, wiped off his hands, stood up. Looking at them reproachfully, he cupped his hands to his mouth, coughed into them, very clearly enunciated, 'Keep your WORMS warm!' and held the writhing, former speech impediments up for them to see."

Xena slapped her forehead. "Weep war wirth wrrm." Her shoulders shook and she fell backwards off the log. Gabrielle could only see warrior boots sticking up in the air. The boots started to kick, and laughter exploded from the other side of the log. "WEEP .... WAR ... WIRTH ...WRRRM!! WEEP- WEE-HEE-HEE-hee-hee ...."

The bard got up and walked to the other side of the log. Xena was flat on her back, still giggling. She looked up. "Ya got me with that one."

"Hook, line and sinker." More giggles. "A real ice-breaker, wouldn't you say?"

"GABRIELLE!"

Tension between Xena and Gabrielle was greatly dissipated by Gabrielle's efforts, and they both worked hard to bring a regular smile to one another's face. The bard continued to lighten their days with jokes and stories. Xena revealed a surprisingly creative sense of humor, but her efforts tended to run more along the lines of practical jokes and pranks. Frogs mysteriously gravitated to Gabrielle's bedroll, and bugs bundled up in the toe of her boots so often she quickly learned the difference between a cricket and a grasshopper, a June bug and a beetle. She drew the line at snakes, though. ("But Gabrielle, it was just a little grass snake!) ("I don't care, Xena! A snake is a snake is a snake!")

Although they could laugh together again, it was still difficult to have more serious conversations, so they tended to avoid topics that might prove controversial or too personal. Philosophy was OK, and self defense lessons for Gabrielle were also essential. Thus it was that the two women found themselves talking about meditative techniques and nature's benefits one day as they walked toward the seashore. And Xena once again found herself at sea in the turbulent waters of (gasp!) relationships.

Both Gabrielle and Xena were impressed by Ulysses when they met him. Xena enjoyed their warrior-to-warrior camaraderie, and had been excited to meet a man that seemed to be her physical equal, who was decent looking and decent acting. Vulnerable after her relationship with Gabrielle had changed, she encouraged his advances, believing an affair might help her to "move on."

What she didn't take into account, however, was that the experience with Gabrielle had changed her. Although very interested in Ulysses, she was a little more hesitant, less willing to use and be used. So she persuaded herself that the undeniable chemistry between them was the beginning stage of love. She tried to imagine the three of them traveling together, and thought they could perhaps work something out.

But then Meticles had told them Penelope was alive, still waiting for Ulysses to return. It was a shock to both of them, and a real eye-opener for Xena. She just could not be the other woman, again.

Still, Xena had been hard-pressed to resist his request to accompany her when she and Gabrielle left Ithaca. Eventually she was glad that she went with her instincts to leave him there. She had let herself be charmed by a larger-than-life figure, but time and distance gave her a little more objectivity. Ulysses had already left his wife and his kingdom to the mercies of Poseidon's pirates for what even he termed a "stupid war." That he was willing to abandon those obligations and responsibilities again so soon upon his return, knowing how much Penelope and Ithaca had suffered in his absence, spoke volumes for the man's real character. But it had been a close thing. She had very nearly opened her heart to him.

It had been hard on Gabrielle as well when the possibility loomed that Xena was getting romantically involved with Ulysses. She was not certain that her illness during that voyage could entirely be ascribed to seasickness.

Gabrielle spoke very little as they traveled with the Athenian infantry survivors to the next outpost. The wounded they were transporting still required a great deal of her attention, and despite Xena's defeat of the Horde's chieftain, she startled at every shadow or sudden noise. She wasn't the only one, though. Every member of the ragged formation suffered from that particular malady. She breathed a big sigh of relief when they spied the sanctuary of the fortress walls.

Xena watched a few soldiers quietly express their gratitude to the Amazon Queen. Her leadership and experience in the sick bay had saved several lives, and her humanitarian principles had saved them all from a battle they could never have hoped to win. Gabrielle's compassion and bravery in the face of a totally hopeless situation would become as legendary in their campfire tales as Xena's cunning at the battle of Corinth.

At last, all the wounded in their care were settled into the infirmary, and the battle-weary infantrymen were assigned new posts and barracks. Xena wearily removed her sword and scabbard, sat down in the shadows that circled a bonfire, and watched some soldiers play at dice. She wasn't looking forward to telling Gabrielle that there had been more Horde sightings in the area. Fortunately, the garrison was well-manned, and with the intelligence gained by their battle, her services as commander would no longer be required. She gratefully took a long pull at the wineskin being passed around the fire.

"There you are." Gabrielle sat down next to her. "I don't think I've ever been this tired in my entire life."

Xena mutely offered her the wineskin.

"No thanks."

"Gabrielle."

The bard turned and looked inquiringly at the warrior princess. Despite the victory, she had never seen Xena look so defeated or so tired.

"The Horde's still out there."

"Oh no ..." Gabrielle whispered.

"I ... I don't think we should stay, though. The Athenians have enough men and supplies, and know enough now, that I think they can handle things. Unless you want to ..."

"No, that's alright. When were you thinking of leaving?"

"Well, there's a problem. I don't think it's safe to set out on foot with just the two of us. There'll be a ship, though, in the morning. The commander has offered to book us passage ... it's sailing down the coast. We could be nearly to Athens in two days."

"A ship."

"And I know how you feel about sea travel ..."

"How my stomach feels about sea travel ..."

"Right."

"Let's take it. I'm ready to get out of here." Gabrielle couldn't wait to leave all this behind. The Horde had been scary, but Xena's reversion to ruthless warlord even more so. She could tolerate a little seasickness for a couple of days.

"Me too." And having nothing else to do but wait for dawn, she settled herself more comfortably against the wall behind her and stretched her legs out. The two women watched the dice game for a while.

"Xena, can I ask you a question? What happened back there?"

The former warlord gave the question careful consideration before giving a reply. She had no doubt that Gabrielle was asking about her behavior in the battle with the Horde. She deserved a serious answer. "A lot of things ... I'm not sure how to explain it, though. Some of it, I think ... well, I told you how the Horde slaughtered my men before ..."

Gabrielle nodded.

"It was horrible, Gabrielle. One of the most terrible experiences of my warlord days. And then we were surrounded, and it seemed so hopeless ... no reinforcements, running out of food and water ... the Athenians were looking to me for answers, and I had none. No answers and no hope."

"There's always hope."

Xena smiled ironically. "You always have hope. I didn't, Gabrielle. The Horde ... was so vicious, so savage ... all I had was desperation. And fear. Lots of fear." She looked away with shame. "I let my fear and hatred blind me, Gabrielle."

"That's the second time you've said that, Xena. Was it like being blind? Like that time when the sumac oil was in your eyes?"

The warrior princess scrubbed her face with both hands, as if wiping away perspiration and not the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. "No ... it's just an expression. I could see ... see how frightened you were, how angry and disappointed. But I couldn't see a way out, except to be as vicious and ruthless as the Horde." She looked up with trepidation, fearing she would see judgment and disappointment on Gabrielle's face. "When we get out of here, I'll understand if you want to-"

"No. We're in this together. I know you have a past, Xena; and it's pretty awful. This isn't the first time it's come up, and it's always scary when it does. But I'm not leaving you. We'll just make the best of it and continue on." Looking a little more closely at the warrior princess, Gabrielle noticed the exhausted droop to her friend's shoulders, the shadows under her eyes. She put an arm around Xena and pulled her closer. "Here, I can see you're very tired. No sense in worrying over all this now. You sleep, and I'll wake you at sunrise."

Uncharacteristically, Xena let Gabrielle pull her down to lay her head in her lap and let the bard keep watch over the night. Comforted by the smaller woman's presence, she let herself sleep.

'Oh Xena, what am I going to do with you?' Gabrielle stroked the long dark hair that spilled over her lap. 'Don't you know that I could never leave? That I love you?' She continued to stroke the raven tresses throughout the night, until the sky began to gray with dawn and it was time to leave.

Their voyage southward was uneventful the first couple of days and offered plenty of opportunity for Xena to think about what she had done. She realized just how bright was the light of Gabrielle's faith in her and how much she depended on her friend in her journey for personal redemption and atonement. To her astonishment, she realized that she not only missed their physical relationship and their long talks, but that she needed them. 'How did this happen? When did it happen?' She reluctantly concluded that this was something she really shouldn't share with Gabrielle, but that she would strive to treat the bard better and to show her how much she meant to her.

But of course in the lives of these two adventurers, things did not stay peaceful and quiet for very long. Not that Gabrielle felt peaceful: even when the seas were relatively calm, her stomach gave her no chance to experience tranquility of spirit because of the turbulence in her tummy. She grew accustomed to spending most of her time leaning over the side of the ship, miserably wishing that there was anything in her stomach that she could expel to relieve the constant queasiness caused by the rocking motion of their chosen conveyance.

"Gabrielle," Xena came up beside her friend, "I have good news and bad news."

"GAACK!" Gabrielle gagged over the side of the ship, coughed again and moaned. "What?"

"We'll reach the shore in a couple of hours. It won't be much longer ..." Xena put a concerned hand on her shoulder.

"But?"

"There's a bad storm brewing. The sea's going to get much worse before we land."

"Worse? Oh gods ..." Gabrielle hung back over the railing. "How could it possibly get any worse?"

"SHIP AHOY!" Called the lookout above them. "PIRATES!"

The two women looked at each other. "There's your answer," replied Xena.

So it came about that between the pirates' pursuit and the storm's severity, the merchant vessel on which they were sailing crashed upon the rocky shore. The two women were separated by the wreck: Gabrielle was rescued by Cecrop's crew from the circling sharks (out of the cold briny deep, into the hot water of a cursed craft). Xena struggled to the safety of shore and land, only to find herself surrounded by the very pirates that had run their ship to ground.

Fortunately, for the pirates at least, Xena was focused on reaching Gabrielle and did not take the time to indulge her inclination to wreak revenge and properly bludgeon the buccaneers for their part in her predicament. Indifferent to their overwhelming numbers, the unarmed warrior princess eluded the maritime muggers and sought some means by which to bridge the rapidly increasing gap between her and the best part of her heart. Although Basculis had informed her exactly which ship Gabrielle was on, and it is certain she understood the implications inherent in boarding the Lost Mariner, the warrior maniac was under the compulsion of a much more powerful charm than any mere god's grudge -- the bewitching bard was her talisman.

After watching her fly through the air, propelled by passion, Basculis cursed and accused the warrior princess of chasing after treasure previously considered unattainable. Of course he was right: Xena was seeking a treasure on board the cursed ship -- her Gabrielle -- more valuable to her than any amount of gold or silver, more precious to her than any jewel, more rare than any gem. When she landed and Gabrielle flew into her arms, Xena knew that she could happily endure this exile -- as long as they were together.

"Now what?" Gabrielle waved as the last sailor disappeared over the rise in search of a much drier destiny.

"I guess we make camp. Why don't you start a fire and I'll go hunting." Xena waited for Gabrielle to agree and set out in search of dinner: rabbit or squirrel, anything but fish.

Their camp was of necessity rather spare. Most of their gear was with Argo, left at an inn two days travel away when they first set out to explore the northern territories and instead stumbled upon the hapless Athenians and the horrible Horde. There were no dinars for a nice warm inn, no pots in which to cook dinner, no blankets to stave off the chill of the ocean breeze. Still, they counted themselves fortunate to be alive and made the best of their reduced circumstances.

"You know, it's funny, but I still love the beach." Gabrielle leaned back against a rock, stretched, and hid a heartfelt yawn with her hand. "The sound of the waves is so restful."

"Um hm," her friend agreed, then put a friendly arm around her shoulder.

Safe and comfortable, Gabrielle fell asleep leaning against Xena. The warrior princess eased her to the ground, pillowing the bard's head on her arm and putting a protective arm around her waist.

Later that night Gabrielle's front protested at the uneven distribution of heat to her anterior parts. She rolled over, buried her cold nose in warm cleavage, threw her arm around Xena's waist and snuggled into the warrior's warmth. Xena didn't even open her eyes. She just smiled and cuddled Gabrielle closer.

Gabrielle hovered over the platter of victuals provided by the innkeeper, pleased with the results of her bartering skills. Xena's hunting abilities had provided the venison, but Gabrielle had negotiated a trade for the deer that included a room for the night, a hot bath, dinner AND breakfast. Their purse might still be empty, but their stomachs were about to be full.

"Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but why did Joxer leave so soon? He usually hangs around with us for days." Spying a favorite tidbit, she popped it into her mouth.

"I think he needed a little distance to help him recover."

"Recover! Was he wounded?"

'Did she really not know?' Xena looked at her sternly. She was certain Gabrielle had not meant to be cruel, but Joxer had been crushed when the bard laughingly agreed that it would be outlandish to think that the two of them could be lovers. At the warrior's suggestion, he had gone to visit Meg in search of a more appreciative audience for his attributes.

"What!" Gabrielle could tell Xena expected her to understand the reason for Joxer's precipitous exit.

"You hurt his feelings, Gabrielle."

"How ..." Her face flushed. She realized what she had done. "Oh no! Poor Joxer."

"Well, he'll live. You know how Joxer is. A few days with Meg and he'll be his same old 'Mighty Warrior' self." Indeed the last few days had thrown everyone a little off balance: Xena chasing Draco, Gabrielle grabbing Joxer, and Draco pursuing Gabrielle. It still made her dizzy to think how catastrophic the consequences could have been. Thank the gods she'd had so much practice of late controlling 'those' urges. She shuddered, then grinned. Her revenge on the diabolical Draco had been suitably subtle. She wondered how long the effect of Cupid's arrow would last without real love to reinforce it.

Xena sat on the edge of the bed. Damn all that seawater. She needed to do something about her leather tunic. She tried to reach an awkward spot behind her shoulder where the salt-damaged leather had been chafing. Picking up a dagger, she tried scratching her back with the hilt. Where the hades was she going to find the dinars for a new tunic?

Gabrielle noticed her predicament. She picked up a vial of olive oil and a rather large slice of nutbread. "Here, hold this." Handing Xena the oil, she bounced cross legged onto the bed behind the warrior princess, took a bite of nutbread and began scratching in exactly the right spot.

"Don't get crumbs on the bed," Xena rotated a shoulder for more scratching, " ... aaah"

"I'll be careful." Gabrielle stopped scratching and held her hand out in front of Xena. "Pour some oil in my hand." Still nibbling on nutbread, she rubbed the oil into the irritation and sore, tired muscles. The warrior's breathing became slow and regular. Gabrielle enjoyed the massage, too: she loved touching Xena, and reveled in the sensuous feel of her oily hand on the warrior's neck and shoulders. She worked the fragrant oil into the symmetrical triangles of shoulder blades and the corded neck muscles.

"Gabrielle, this feels so good."

"So do you think Joxer will be OK?" Gabrielle was still concerned that she'd done him irreparable harm.

"He'll be fine."

"I mean, he's a nice guy, if you like that type, but you have to admit it WAS ridiculous to think that we, that he and I, could be, well ... when after all," She stuffed the last enormous bite of nutbread into her mouth, "brits brew brat die bruv."

"Don't talk with your mouth full. What did you say?"

'What DID I just say? I DID say it, didn't I. NOW what do I do?' Gabrielle swallowed the nutbread without chewing. The lump in her throat, however, was not all nutbread. Shocked at her own revelation, she was unable to think of a suitable substitution for her outburst, especially when Xena turned around to look at her.

'Oh well, in for a dinar ...' "when it's you that I love."

The olive oil dropped unheeded to the floor and rolled across the room.

"Say that again."

"You. I said I love you."

"You. Love. Me."

"That's what I said." 'What I want to know now is what YOU say.'

Xena grabbed her shoulders. "After everything that's happened." She shook the bard's shoulders for emphasis, "after everything I've done to you," shook again, "you love me?"

"We're both speaking Greek, right? I SAID I love you." Gabrielle began to get irritated with all this shaking-with-no-reciprocal-confession business.

Xena hugged her close in a real bone-crusher. That was a little better ...

"Oh Gabrielle, I love you too!" Xena held her even tighter.

Whatever the warrior's reply lacked in verbal eloquence, she made up for it with emphatic body language. The squished scribe decided that she couldn't really expect Xena to gush mush. The point was she had said those three magic words, with both of them in the same room, and in her own body.

Attempting to regain a little poise, Gabrielle pushed away so they could face one another eye to eye. Big mistake. Those eyes ... "I love you now. I have always loved you. I will love you forever." She was a bard, right? She could gush with the best of them for the both of them.

"Gabrielle," whispered the warrior princess. She held the bard's face in her hands.

"Xena. I think it would be a very good idea for you to kiss me now."

"Oh, I agree." The ice blue eyes released their hold on the bard and directed their gaze at the waiting lips of her love. The warrior princess acceded to the compulsion of her heart as well as the Amazon Queen's command, and softly kissed Gabrielle. Their kiss swiftly accelerated from soft and gentle to intense and passionate.

With no hesitation on her part, Gabrielle pushed Xena to the bed, hurriedly undressing the extremely cooperative warrior princess with skill and dispatch. Much to her surprise, however, when Xena began to reciprocate, the ordinarily competent warrior fumbled at the laces of her halter. Still, she managed to divest the Amazon Queen of her pesky garments.

"Xena, you're trembling!" She held the clumsy hands in her own.

"It's just that we've never done this before." Xena took her in her arms.

"Aaah, you feel so good ..." Skin on skin, breast on breast, thighs tangled together. This had to be the most wonderful feeling in the known world. "What do you mean? We've had sex lots of times-"

"Mmm ..." Xena nuzzled her neck. "What? Oh, sure ..." She raised her head and pinned her lover in place with eyes that were dark with desire. "More that I could count. But we've never made love before. Tell me later if you can tell the difference."

Gabrielle did tell her later, at length, at the top of her lungs ... and told her, and told her ...

Gabrielle finally woke in the late afternoon because the sun was shining through the window and into her eyes. She groggily attempted to assess her situation: ('yup, pretty compromising') flat on her back, spreadeagled, one foot hanging from the edge of the bed, the other comfortably resting on a pillow at the head of the bed. Of course, not a stitch of clothing or blanket to be found. She stretched luxuriously and smiled.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd have to be dragged out of that bed." The warrior princess was dressed and donning her armor. "It's time to get up."

"Do we have to? For some reason I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Yup. 'Things to do." Xena grabbed an arm and sat Gabrielle up on the edge of the bed.

The bard tried to pull her down, "What's your hurry?" but her efforts to resume where they left off were futile.

"Well, I'm going hunting." Her lover's face split in a grin as she tossed the bard's clothes to her. "And you're going to talk to the innkeeper about another trade while I'm gone. I don't think we got enough nutbread last night."

Gabrielle's face lit up and she bounded out of bed. "I'll get right on it." Still naked, she stood and embraced Xena. "But I think I need a little more motivation ..."

Which was happily supplied by the warrior, who wondered if she could find two deer.

The End

Credit where credit is due: Gabrielle's fish Story is an elaborate version of a very old joke. Unfortunately, it is so old, I have no idea who originated it and am unable to properly acknowledge the source. Whoever you are, please know that I have enjoyed this Story for years and couldn't resist sharing it with my Xenite friends.

Shameless bid for attention: Your comments are very important to me. I would REALLY like to hear from you: accolades, accusations, anything. My E- mail address is roc-it[at]uswest.net.

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