Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

The Homecoming

Part One

Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle and Eve are owned by Pacific Renaissance/MCA Universal/USA Studios. I have only borrowed some of their identifying characteristics for this Work of original Fiction.

Content Warning: This is a Story of two Women who are very much in love and there are many descriptions of lovemaking, some of which are explicit. If you are under the age of consent where you live, please reconsider reading this Story. Thanks!

Language: Imagine Xena in the 1990's - yep, she swears. And she's a cop, so there's some violence too.

"New Age"/Religious Content warning: I'm a "new age" kind of girl, so my characters are too. All new age/metaphysical and healing occurrences presented here are actual phenomena that I have personally experienced. By presenting my characters' religious views, I by no means wish to diminish the views of others. IMHO, each person's religious view is the "right" one (smile).

Author's note: This is my first Story. Since I really have no idea just how good or bad this may be, I would welcome comments and constructive criticism. Thanks for reading! - JL, 2001

-Prologue-

July, 1994

A pair of hawks, the fourth such that she had seen over the last several miles, soared above the highway on thermals of air rising from the foot of the low mountain range. The late morning sun glared brilliantly off the windshield of the black Jeep Wrangler as it traveled east along California 580, a 2-lane ribbon of highway cutting between sculptured golden foothills of dried, knee-high grass. Hundreds of giant electricity-generating windmills on either side of the road stood like sentries above the San Joaquin Valley below. Most of them were idle, oddly enough, during this heat wave. The driver scowled under mirrored Ray Bans, marveling at the incredible inefficiency of the current State Government and wondered if anything would change when (not if!) a Democrat returned to the Governorship. One would hope, but probably not. At least we have a Democrat in the White House now, the political activist thought.

She glanced up at the hawks again, enjoying their graceful beauty as she tried to remember the hawk's message from traditional Native American lore. She nodded as it came to her: Hawk is the messenger, reminding you to look for omens and signals in your life and to take the long view. Circle over your life from above if necessary and examine it. Thank you hawk-friends. That is exactly what I've been doing.

The hot wind blowing in through the half-opened side window blew her shoulder-length blonde hair across her face. She smiled, enjoying the feeling of freedom that the wind and the road beneath her wheels gave her, forgetting for the time being her pessimism and her disgust at the current state of politics. It was good to feel free again. Well, not so much free as unencumbered. Home. Wonder if it will still feel like home? she mused. Even as seemingly sure as she was that this move was the right one for her at that point in her life, she still had trouble believing that anyplace other than her beloved San Francisco could ever truly be home for her again.

Janna Norden, at thirty-two, felt almost like a teenager again. She felt an enthusiasm and an excitement not unlike that which she had felt the first time she had left home. This time, of course, it was tempered by maturity and by life experience, but it was a definite enthusiasm nonetheless: an eagerness to begin anew. It had been a long six months. Six months? If she were really honest with herself she would have to admit that it had actually been a long fourteen years. Fourteen years since she had left home, at eighteen, to "find herself". Find herself she had, eventually, in San Francisco's punk rock and GLBT activism scenes. She had, through sheer self-determination and hard work, become a successful musician - in a field where success is most often fleeting at best, especially for a woman. She had plugged away as a guitarist, or a bassist, or a drummer (whatever was needed) in increasingly competent bands until she had landed in one that had, for a brief time, hit the "big time". That brief stint at the top had been all that had been required to establish herself as a serious, accomplished musician and to set herself up in the relatively stable career of a session artist and occasional producer.

But the lifestyle of her chosen profession had slowly eaten away at her. Not that she was particularly self-destructive, she wasn't, but being immersed in that world and seeing friend after friend dragged down, and worse, dead, had taken it's toll. She was ready for a change. Her excursion into photography had given her the opportunity to make that change. Gigs and recording sessions had slowly given way to photographing concerts and artists, which had in turn increasingly given way to scenic and nature shoots. She began spending much more time outdoors than in and was enjoying it immensely. She had begun to dread the days when she would be trapped in a studio all day, thinking about how she would rather be at the seaside or in the mountains, rather than about the task at hand. So, recently, she had quit the music biz completely. She felt very lucky, and grateful, that through prudent investing of residual earnings, she had acquired financial independence and was now able to support herself in her new career. Almost at once she had started to feel more balanced - happier.

With the career change, however, came imbalance in her personal life. Most of her friends and all of her lovers whom, remarkably, you could count on one hand, given her profession (if you didn't count half-remembered drunken early-years encounters with fans), had been musicians. Her last serious relationship had ended nearly a year ago and she had been so badly burned that she had not even been tempted to date since. She had made some good friends in the queer scene, though and that had helped to fill the void she felt. She was able to do good work, helping others, lending her "name" to charity events and fundraising organizations. Unfortunately, the fulfillment and joy of helping others, and especially, that of working with pediatric AIDS patients, was offset by the pain of losing friends to the dread plague. In the last year alone she had lost two close friends to the disease. It was not without surprise that she had recently begun to feel complete with that stage of her life, but it was with tremendous astonishment that she had started to feel a pull back towards home.

It was a strong gut feeling, an intuition, which had started to nag at her. She had learned somewhere along the line to trust her intuition, so here she was, on her way back to the hot, dry agricultural town where she had grown up. A town which held, as it's main claim to fame, its location halfway between San Francisco and the Sierra Nevada Mountains and was very proud of its inland seaport. It was a predominately conservative, homophobe ridden town existing somewhat uncomfortably within a predominately liberal state. Am I nuts? she wondered. Not receiving an answer, she drove on, musing silently about how strongly she felt that she needed to return home, despite the hot, flat ugliness of the place and the overriding narrow-mindedness of many of it's residents. Little did she know that she would very shortly have an encounter that would make the reason for her yearning all too obvious.

As an L7 song blasted from the sound system, the driver drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and began her descent into the great valley below, and into a new era of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Officer Ryan Zamora wiped her brow with a handkerchief and then readjusted her sunglasses under the bicycle helmet. God, it's hot, she thought, as the sun beat down incessantly and was soaked up by her dark uniform. The heat was made all the more unbearable by the bulletproof vest which she wore under her shirt. Only a few more hours of patrol and then she would have three days off. Her time off couldn't have come at a better time, she thought, what with this early July heat wave.

As a bicycle patrol cop she didn't have the luxury of an air-conditioned patrol car to escape the heat in. Normally, she loved her job. Loved being on the bike, keeping fit, interacting with people, and of course, loved being of service, but this prolonged heat was wiping her out. This despite the exceptional health and fitness level she enjoyed.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon, so her shift was heating up as well. Her beat was downtown and the office workers would be heading home soon, creating a two-hour mass exodus from the center of the city. She had two hours of (hopefully) minor traffic accidents to look forward to, as well as the perpetual problems encountered when young, upwardly mobile business people were forced to interact with street people, as they were here, on her beat.

Her partner, John Stewart, was up ahead of her, foot braced against the curb as he waited for her to catch up. He watched over his shoulder as she pushed off from the curb and approached him, admiring her tan, fit body and her self-assured attitude.
She glided past him, grinning as she said, "What's the matter John, too hot for ya?"

He laughed easily, knowing that it was indeed too hot for him, but it wasn't the weather that was affecting him - it was his beautiful partner. His beautiful, gay partner. Some girls have all the luck, he thought, not for the first time, with an internal shake of his head. He pushed off from the curb, still grinning as he followed his partner down the street.

As they maneuvered along between the grid locked traffic heading north and the sidewalk equally grid locked with pedestrians, Ryan couldn't help but grin sardonically at the fact that her partner, once again, had managed to situate himself behind her. Guys! She shook her head, her short, dark hair waving gently, momentarily cooling her overheated neck, as she pedaled on.

33-year old Ryan Zamora had been a cop for over a dozen years and had found it to be an extremely fulfilling and exciting career. She was doing the only thing that she had ever really wanted to do. Despite that fulfillment, in the last six months or so she had begun to feel as if something were missing from her life. She had an inkling that it might have something to do with her private life, or lack thereof, but that was such a disquieting idea that she refused to stop and examine it. After the unparalleled disaster of her last relationship she wanted nothing more to do with love, romance, relationships, or commitment. She wanted only to throw herself into her vocation and her main avocation, which was softball.

So driven was she in both her love of career and loathe of personal relationships that she had not seen anyone romantically in over two years. She had not had a single casual affair or even a one night stand, an activity with which she had been quite familiar in the past. She had not been so much as attracted to, or tempted by, any woman, much to the displeasure of many.

So it was that she would not have been able to fathom the depth of the changes coming into her life very soon. Changes that would be initiated by her chance meeting with a 32-year old musician turned photographer on a hot, dry San Joaquin Valley evening in July.

-1-

Her first two weeks back home went relatively smoothly for Janna. Her reunion with her family had been a happy one, despite their conservative (or was it just "old fashioned"?) beliefs. They had known, of course, of her "lifestyle", but the physical distance between them had softened their differences some. Now that she was home and they were seeing a lot of her, they had been forced to confront their attitudes and had been somewhat surprised to find that it wasn't all that big a deal - they loved their daughter for the good woman that she was, regardless of her sexual preference.

Both parents had even come to believe that their daughter's homosexuality hadn't actually been a choice on her part, nor had it been caused by something they had done wrong in raising her, but that she had simply been born that way. Janna considered this to be representative of significant growth on both her parents' parts and was extremely proud of them. For her part, Janna had tried to tone down that aspect of her life - not to hide who she was, for she would find that personally morally reprehensible, but simply to not be quite so "out". This was, after all, no longer San Francisco, where one could go about acting naturally in nearly complete safety. Here, she needed to be cautious. There were plenty of gay people, but they tended, of necessity, to either be inconspicuous or fairly well closeted.

Janna had also reconnected well with her brother, Dan. They had been very close growing up, due mainly to the fact that he was only a year younger than she was, and they were again enjoying a close, if mildly antagonistic, relationship. He was now a married father of two, and Janna absolutely doted on her young niece and nephew. They also enjoyed a good working partnership, as he was the General Contractor making the renovations to Janna's "new" home.

Her transition to self-employed homeowner was also progressing relatively smoothly . Six months earlier she had purchased a one hundred-year old Victorian-style home in the historic district near the center of town and was having it renovated, as well as adding a photographic studio and darkroom. As a renter in San Francisco, she had never had to concern herself with repairs or home improvement tasks but had found that she was enjoying these jobs very much. She left the heavy carpentry to the experts, of course, but surprised herself at how capable she was at the more basic tasks, such as painting, wall papering and light plumbing. She discovered that there was a certain amount of satisfaction in doing these things herself and was quite pleased with the results of her handiwork.

Also immensely satisfying was the newfound freedom to work her own hours and at her own pace, with the ability to leave for several days, on a whim, to work in the mountains or at the coast or in the foothills above her home valley. She had already had some success in finding local galleries and places of business in which to display her photographs, and had sold some to a few national publications, as well.

The only aspect of her life that wasn't entirely satisfactory was her social life. She hadn't been able to connect with a lot of her old friends, for various reasons, but mainly because she returned home a very different person than the teenager who had left there. She had left as bright-eyed, naïve girl, in search of adventure and had returned an experienced, somewhat jaded woman who had seen and done much more than almost all of her childhood friends had. So she now found herself alone most of the time and was unused to that. She really didn't mind being alone, in fact had always treasured her independence, but while living in the City had become accustomed to having plenty of gay and lesbian friends around. There, there was always something interesting to do and someone to do it with. Here, there was very little to do. At times she almost felt as if she had been transported to some vast wasteland. She, knew, before returning, that the slower pace of life would take some getting used to, but still found herself unprepared when the newness wore off and she found herself feeling lonely. There was so much to do around the house however, that she gave herself little time to be bored or to dwell on her situation.

It was on a Thursday that she heard from several friends from the City, who would be driving to Lake Tahoe and wanted to stop by to see her on the way. With tremendous joy, she greeted her friends Doug, Jay and Melissa. Missy's partner, Lisa was away on business for two weeks and since she was missing her lover very much, Doug and Jay decided that Missy needed some cheering, away from the City, and that Tahoe was the perfect place for this. Of course, Doug and Jay thought anyplace was a perfect place to party and needed little coaxing to do so.

Upon arrival, all announced that they were famished, so Janna took them to a favorite brewpub. They had a great time getting caught up, over burgers and beers, and Janna felt more happy and relaxed than she had in weeks. Wanting to prolong the fun, Janna suggested that they check out one of the very few gay bars in town. "I have no idea what to expect because I haven't been there yet, but I've heard that they have live music on Thursday nights."

"Sure", responded Doug, "how bad can it be?"

Laughing, Janna replied, "Well, keep in mind that this isn't the City, ok? We may be the only four in there tonight!"

Jay replied sarcastically, "Jesus, this place is hopping isn't it?" Then in his very best drag queen voice, "Well, we'll have to liven the place up won't we? Come on girls!"

To which Missy remarked, "I don't know Jay Jay, we don't want to shock the hicks too much. You'd better tone it down some!"

"All right you guys, it's not that bad here. At least there are gay bars!" growled Janna.

"Yeah, two whole gay bars - how progressive!" responded Dougie.

"Did you guys come to have fun or to sit around ragging on my home town all night?"

"Fun, baby!" squealed Jay.

"Yeah, let's go guys!" suggested Missy.

"All right then, let's go. It's only a few blocks away. Why don't we walk? It's Street Market night and there's lots to see on the way," suggested Janna.

"Lead on, babe" said Jay.

As they left the brewpub, the many sights, sounds and smells of the popular outdoor farmer's market and craft fair assailed their senses. The air was full of the rich aromas arising from the many food booths and coffee vendors. Muted strains of several styles of music drifted to their ears, carried on the light breeze. Though early evening, the sun still created a brilliant glare and warmed them as they wandered slowly among the vendors.

As they made their way down the street and in and around the various street vendors, they tried to remember, though it was difficult at times, to cut down on the swish and swagger. Not an easy feat for a happily married gay couple who have had a few beers, or for two out dykes used to their own brand of swagger. Had they been back home in the Castro, they all would have proudly displayed, and even reveled in, their homosexuality. Here they had to stifle their natural tendencies, but they tried not to let it dampen their fun.

They made quite a picture, for those who cared to look. Two cute guys and two attractive women all dressed smartly. Janna wore an emerald green tank top that highlighted her sculpted, lightly muscled arms and shoulders, tucked into faded jeans. Missy was clad in a navy polo and cargo shorts, while the guys wore khaki shorts and cotton shirts. The four of them made two attractive couples; Missy was statuesque with shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes, and Janna was shorter, with blonde hair and vibrant green eyes. Doug and Jay were a similar complement of light and dark: Doug with his blonde hair and light eyes, and Jay, African-American with gorgeous brown eyes. They were all enjoying the atmosphere of the street fair and laughed and joked happily as they walked along the avenue.

As she sat perched on her patrol bike, surveying the avenue, Officer Zamora watched the two couples with a barely noticeable, perceptive grin, paying particular attention to the short blonde. She felt grateful, and not for the first time, that this town offered a relatively safe place for her gay brothers and sisters to gather. Her partner asked, "What are you grinning at?"

"Oh nothing! Just enjoying the evening."

"Whatever!" replied John, and then added, "Come on, let's keep moving. Only another couple of hours and we can close this thing down and open the street back up to traffic. I'd like to get home to Sara at a decent time tonight."

"Sure thing", Ryan said, taking one last quick glance at the retreating friends. As she watched the small blonde woman, a curious, comfortable warmth crept into her soul.

-2-

"Whoo hoo, I feel good!" trilled Jay Jay as the four friends left the bar. They had had a good time. The drinks had been good, the company even better and the young band decent, playing a cool mix of their own stuff and classic queer punk covers.

When Dougie went up to the stage and told them that they had a former member of 'The Tribe' in the room, they enthusiastically encouraged Janna to join them on stage for a few numbers. Janna somewhat reluctantly picked up a spare ax, but then proceeded to blow the room away. She had quickly fallen into the familiar old groove, strutting and snarling along with the singer.

Though diminutive in stature (she stood five and a half feet tall in shoes), she more than held her own among the young punk musicians. Despite no longer truly looking the part of a punker (her one remaining concession to her old lifestyle being the 3 piercings in one ear), she had a stage presence and a mastery of her art that was truly impressive. The familiar old chords returned easily, her permanently calloused fingers flying over the neck of her instrument. The way that she had strutted and pogoed along with her fellow musicians gave the appearance of their having been playing together for years. She exuded a joy while playing that charged her fellow musicians and the entire room.

When she had finished with her short set, the fair-sized crowd had cheered enthusiastically and the kids in the band fell all over themselves thanking her. Later, during their break, the young band mates crowded around her, talking biz and getting autographs and production advice. Janna got the band's manager's phone number and promised to keep in touch with them.

It felt good, she had to admit, being back up there. But it had felt even better to be able to quit after a few songs and go back to having a good time with her friends. There was no way that she would want to do that all night any more! After she returned to her friends' table, the bar's owners, a middle-aged gay couple, approached, thanked her graciously for her contribution to the evening's entertainment and informed her that her party's tab would be complementary. They were both gregarious and fun and Janna felt she had made two new friends, promising to return to the appropriately named 'Rainbow Lounge' often.

When they left the bar, the four friends noted that the street was fairly empty of people, the market having ended an hour before sunset. Now there were only a few vendors remaining who were still packing away their wares. They were accompanied only by the police officers and firefighters who were removing barricades and preparing to return the avenue to its normal function as one of the main thoroughfares in town.

As they stood just outside the bar, a pickup truck roared by, its occupants yelling raucously. "Welcome to the valley, my friends," Janna quipped, frowning.

They walked down the street arm in arm, joking happily and loudly. It was about a quarter mile to where they had parked at the brewpub and the night was finally, mercifully, cooling down some. Janna took a deep breath of the night-chilled air and looked up at the sky, as was her habit, enjoying the brilliant hues of the lingering sunset. It ranged from a deep blue at the zenith to an intense turquoise at the horizon. She loved the beauties of nature and exulted in them with all of her senses.

As her gaze swept downward from the sky another natural beauty caught her eye. Across the street a gorgeous lady cop was talking with a group of young men. She was tall and buff, her uniform shorts and short-sleeved shirt displaying her strong, muscled arms and legs. Wavy, dark hair curled out from under her helmet. Even from across the street Janna could see that she had piercing blue eyes. Another cop, her partner Janna supposed, stood nearby, watching the discussion with arms crossed casually in front of his chest, his mountain bike propped against his backside. The cops were focused intently on their task and didn't see the group of friends. Janna elbowed Missy and nodded toward the cops.

"Jesus! What a babe", Missy gasped.

"Shhh!" warned Janna, "She'll hear you!"

"Like I care!" Missy replied.

"Re-mem-ber, you're mar-ried," sang Jay Jay gleefully.

"Thanks for reminding me. Now I really miss Lisa," she pouted.

"Oh, it's all right Mis, she'll be home before you know it", comforted Janna, patting her friend on the back and taking another look at the cop. Then added, "But oh my God, are you right, she's gorgeous! She can arrest me any old day she wants too!"
"Too bad you're just a regular old law-abiding citizen now, huh babe?" teased Dougie, grinning.

Janna only sighed as she led her friends to their car up the street. She took a quick look back at the cop and wondered why it felt hot again all of a sudden.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan and John finished their conversation with the young men and started walking up the street, removing and stacking barricades as they went.

As he reached for another barrier John commented, "You know, I've said it before but I'll say it again. You have a really good way with young people. You warned those guys about the noise ordinance so calmly and professionally that they didn't even seem bothered by it. And you scored some major points with all that baseball and basketball talk."

Ryan rested her hands on the police barricade in front of her and said, "They weren't bad kids, John. The fact that they're young doesn't mean they're immune to good sense."

"True but so many young guys today think they have to be so macho. They usually resent authority figures and aren't afraid to let us know it."

Ryan dropped the barricade she held down onto the stack with the others and replied, "Well, I just try to put myself in their place and talk to them the way I like to be talked to: with respect. Everyone deserves respect. I knew they were just trying to have a good time and I just reminded them that the other people there were trying to have a good time too."

"Yeah well, it doesn't hurt that you're drop-dead gorgeous either!"

"Oh come on! I like to think that they listen because I'm a fair cop and they respect me. Also, I'm not that much older than they are, or don't appear to be anyway. I think they think of me as an equal. I like that they do. I am an equal," she said sincerely.

"That you are my friend. No question about it" smiled John.

As they neared the end of the avenue, they heard loud, angry voices coming from down a side street up ahead and to their right. They glanced seriously at each other and made their way purposefully toward the clamor. As they rounded the corner they saw the four friends that Ryan had seen earlier. A gang of four guys about a block ahead now surrounded them, near the brewpub. As they cautiously approached they heard, "...teach you a lesson you fuckin' faggots!" and saw one of the toughs advance on one of the men, raising his arm and swinging something toward the man's head. At the same time a woman screamed, "No! Please!" and the other woman in the group jumped toward the thug who was advancing on her friend.

Ryan and John shouted in unison, "Police! Drop it now!" and pulled their batons as they raced toward the fray. Before they could get there, the tough with the bat swung around and tried to hit the blonde woman challenging him. She turned slightly and brought her arms up in front of her face and the bat glanced off of her right shoulder before grazing her head. As she went down she lunged at the attacker, catching him at the knees and taking him down with her. Another of the youths, who had been about to start kicking at her male friend on the ground, now turned and tried to free his friend from the tenacious grasp of the little woman. At this point the two cops were so close that the other two toughs ran off down the street, leaving their comrades to fend for themselves.

As the cops arrived, the brunette woman and the two men were attempting to help their friend escape the grasp of the two toughs by kicking at them. The weapon, a wooden baseball bat, lay nearby, forgotten and Ryan kicked it away, out of reach of the combatants. The cops quickly scrambled over to the thugs, and straddling them, pulled handcuffs from their pockets, subduing them in swift, sure movements. As Ryan pulled the toughs roughly up by their cuffed arms, her partner radioed for backup. Within thirty seconds there were three squad cars at the curb, having been still nearby clearing the street market. As the thugs were read their rights and loaded into the police cars, Ryan went to see to Janna as John briefed the other officers.

Janna was sitting on the ground, surrounded by her friends, when the cop came over and squatted next to her. She reached toward Janna's face, where a large gash above her right eye was dripping blood.

"Here let me have a look, OK?" she said gently, inclining her face to peer at the cut and tenderly grasping Janna's chin.

As Janna turned her face toward the cop she cradled her right arm with her left hand and said, "Sure. Thanks. It doesn't feel too bad though."

As the cop squinted at the injury in the poor street lighting she replied, "Well, I think it needs to be looked at. You may have a concussion." Her low voice was full of compassion.

Janna replied, "Nah, I don't think it's a concussion. I've had one before." When Ryan looked at her quizzically she added, "This isn't my first run-in with 'phobes, I'm afraid."

Ryan asked, brows burrowed, "Did that happen here too?"

Janna replied, "No, that was in Seattle."

Ryan looked at her seriously and said, "Still, it's better to be sure, okay?" Turning toward her partner, she said, "John, better call for paramedics." She turned back to Janna and quietly said, "There's help on the way, just stay still."

"Okay", Janna relied quietly.

While waiting for the paramedics to arrive, John took Janna's friends aside and took down the details about what had happened. Ryan kneeled by Janna's side, gently cupping her face, feeling that her presence was comforting, all the while listening to what the injured woman's friends were telling John. Even through her slight haze, Janna could feel her skin tingling where the other woman was touching her. Ryan noticed it as well, but dismissed it as merely interesting: possibly an artifact of the adrenaline rush she had just experienced, though she had never felt such a sensation before.

Doug related to John, "Just as we came up to the brewpub, these loud guys came up the sidewalk from the parking lot and when they saw us they stopped in front of us. They started taunting us, calling us 'queers, 'dykes' and 'perverts'. While this was happening one of them ran back toward the parking lot and then came back with a baseball bat and said he would teach us a lesson. That's when he went after Jay with the bat and then Janna went after him and brought him down. Then you guys showed up and we tried to get them off of Janna."

Missy added, "I think they were the same rowdy guys in the pickup who saw us coming out of the Rainbow Lounge."

Ryan absorbed this information and looking seriously back at Janna said, "That was a pretty brave thing to do."

Janna grinned sheepishly and said, "Pretty brave, Officer or pretty stupid?"

Ryan just shrugged and smiled gently at her.

Janna thought for a moment then said, "Seriously though, I didn't even really think about it." Then, feeling for some reason that she could trust this cop, she grinned sheepishly and added, "Look, I'm with two nellies and a femme. I'm about the butchest of the bunch so I guess I felt I needed to protect my friends."

Ryan looked at her with understanding. She didn't think Janna appeared to be particularly butch, but she certainly understood the desire to protect one's friends. Ryan's beautiful eyes softened and she smiled as she said, her voice rich and low, "Your friends are very lucky to have you."

Janna shyly said, "Thanks... um," and squinted to see the Officer's nametag, "Officer Zamora". As she said Ryan's name she gingerly reached up and lightly touched the metal nametag on Ryan's chest. Their eyes met and locked and at Janna's touch Ryan felt a pleasant sensation, not unlike an electrical shock. It quickly spread throughout her body and she suddenly felt warm all over. Normally not one to blush easily, she was embarrassed to note that hers ears felt hot.

Clearing her throat quietly and looking away she replied, "No problem. Glad to help. Okay, I think I hear the ambulance coming." After a moment she looked thoughtfully back at Janna and impulsively said, "Did you go to school here in town? You seem familiar."

Janna looked surprised and answered, "Yes. I grew up near here and went to City High, class of 80. Then to Valley College for a while."

Ryan smiled and said, "That must be it then. I was in your class."

Janna peered at Ryan, looking puzzled, and then blurted, "Sissy Zamora?"

Ryan's face lit up in a wide, beautiful smile and she said, "Yep, that was me!" Then whispered conspiratorially, "I go by Ryan now though. I hated my name when I was younger but I think it suits me now."

It certainly does...much more so than 'Sissy', Janna thought as she gazed up into the strong, beautiful planes of the cop's face. She felt as if she were staring at an ancient Greek statue. Far from cold or stony, however, this "statue" seemed to exude warmth and magnetism. Suddenly, as if she'd been shocked, Janna started and gasped, "Oh my God - I had a crush on you in Junior High!" She then added with a mock scowl, brows creased, "You, however, didn't know I was alive."

Ryan looked down at the ground between them and then shyly back up at Janna through long, black lashes and responded, "Oh, yes I did, Janna Norden."

Janna's heart suddenly leapt and she thought she might pass out, though not from her head injury. At that point the medics arrived and she and Ryan were separated. As the medics worked over Janna, Ryan backed away hesitantly, not wanting to leave her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from Janna and wondered, Why on Earth am I feeling so protective of her? And was I actually flirting with her? I don't flirt! She also found herself wanting to wring the necks of the redneck assholes that had hurt her.

She was brought out of her musing when she heard one of the paramedics say, "But you've got to go, Miss, for your own good."

To which she heard Janna reply, " I really don't want to go in the ambulance. I'm not seriously hurt, can't my friends drive me?"

Missy then spoke up and said, "But sweetie, we have no idea how to get to the hospital and you really need your injuries looked at."

At this point Ryan stepped back into the fray and said, "I'll drive her there in one of the patrol cars. Her friends can follow me over. John, will you get my bike back to the station?"

John, looking confused said, "Sure, no problem. I guess I'll see you later then."

"Thanks John. I can take care of the reports if you want. I'll go in tomorrow and do them."

"Sounds good bud. Have a good night." John walked away feeling somewhat confused at his partner's interesting behavior but he quickly shook it off, feeling that she surely knew what she was doing. She always did.

As the paramedics picked up their equipment Ryan reached down to help Janna to her feet. Janna accepted the cop's outstretched hand and as she rose to her feet, she looked up into Ryan's face. Their eyes locked again, mildly cloudy green meeting serious blue. "You're very stubborn, aren't you?" spoke the perfect Cupid's bow lips below the striking blue orbs.

"Well, I'm worried about my friends. They're not from here and don't need to be spending the night with me in the emergency room. Besides, if they think I'm badly hurt they'll insist on canceling their trip and staying with me. I don't want them to do that. Dougie and Jay Jay work really hard and need a break and Missy needs the distraction."

"That's very thoughtful of you, but you do need medical attention. Careful getting into the car here." She gingerly helped Janna lower herself into the front seat of the patrol car, feeling a warm fuzzy feeling in her belly as she did so. She couldn't help but wonder again at the fact that helping this woman made her feel very good - she helped people all the time, it's her job after all - why was she getting all warm and fuzzy this time? She was afraid that she knew why but didn't want to consider that scenario, so she refocused her attention on the task at hand and, after seeing that Janna was comfortably seated, went over to instruct Janna's friends to follow her to St. Joseph's.

The short ride to the hospital was a quiet one at first. Janna appeared to be in quite a bit of pain, so Ryan didn't prod her with questions. That could wait until later. Janna shifted slightly in the seat to try to get more comfortable and winced as pain streaked from her shoulder to her fingers. Ryan, ever observant, didn't miss it and said, "We'd better have them take a look at that arm too, huh?"

"Yep, 'fraid so. Good thing I'm not making a living playing the guitar any more. It kind of puts a crimp in my softball plans, though."

"You play ball?" asked the cop with interest.

"Used to. I checked out a few games last week and found myself wishing I were out there playing. I thought I might look into the City League and see if any teams were in need of late-season subs."

"Oh they're bound to be. Always are. What do you play fast, slow?"

"I've played both. I prefer fast."

"What level?"

"The last team I played for was B Division. But that was about 15 years ago. I'm probably pretty rusty now."

Ryan replied, eyebrows raised in approval, "If you played at that high a level, you should have no problem getting back into it. You look to be in pretty good shape," Ryan remarked as she glanced at Janna. Yep, she thought as she surreptitiously scanned the other woman's compact but lithe body, nice shape. Then shaking off the unprofessional feelings thought, Jesus what is wrong with me?

As Ryan pulled the car into the emergency room parking area, Janna said, "So do you play?"

"Yes. I'm playing on two teams right now, as a matter of fact."

"Wow, you're a serious ballplayer then, huh?"

The officer pulled the car to a stop and seeing that Janna's friends had not yet arrived behind them, turned to face her passenger. "Well, I enjoy it and it's a great way to stay in shape for the job. I play on a coed Peace Officers League team and on a Woman's Fast Pitch team."

"Sounds like fun," smiled Janna. "What position do you play?"

"I pitch, mainly, and fill in at the other positions. How about you, what do you play?"

"Infield, mostly but I can fill in in the outfield too, and I'll catch in a pinch."

Grinning, Ryan replied, "Shortstop huh?"

"Is that a smart-ass remark about my height?" responded Janna mock-indignantly with furrowed brows and cutely scrunched up nose.

Still grinning, Ryan replied, "Absolutely not!"

"Yeah right. Just wait until I'm healed...I'll show you a shortstop!"

"You promise?" Ryan asked with a raised eyebrow and a rakish grin. She regretted the remark immediately when a warm blush crept up Janna's face and was mirrored on her own face. Why the hell did I say that?

"Yeah, I promise. You think I could come check out your teams sometime?" Having recovered her composure, now Janna was grinning rakishly, despite the throbbing in her head.

"Um, sure, I guess. Yeah, any time," stammered a now flustered cop.

"Cool", replied Janna, feeling as if her belly were full of warm butterflies. The feeling then wrapped itself around her heart and she realized that she was in deep, deep trouble.

The usually reserved cop was experiencing a remarkably similar sensation and her reaction to it was equally unsettling.

-3-

Officer Zamora sat, her tall frame stretched out uncomfortably, in the soft waiting room chair. Hospitals made her extremely uncomfortable. For reasons unknown to her, she always felt very claustrophobic in them, and she hated feeling confined. She sighed and returned her attention to the packet of forms in her lap. Her partner, John, had wisely realized that she might have a long wait before being allowed to question the victim, so had dropped off the necessary report forms for her to start filling out. They would be classifying this attack as a hate crime and that entailed extra paperwork, so Ryan was glad to be getting a start on it rather than sitting doing nothing. She was glad, also, of the diversion, as she did not like the path her thoughts were taking.

Her mind kept straying to the cute, brave blonde, wondering how she was doing and trying to think of ways to prolong their encounter. What I am doing? she thought yet again. I do not want to get involved again! With anyone. Stop thinking about her that way! She knew that she needed to retain a degree of professional detachment, but it was becoming increasingly hard. Especially when that damn warm feeling insisted on continuing to envelope her gut and her heart.

Janna's friends sat together across from Ryan, talking quietly and trying not to disturb the intense cop who seemed intently focused on her paperwork. Missy kept stealing surreptitious glances at the strikingly beautiful woman, admiring her classically defined features. Her high cheekbones and long, straight nose, coupled with darkly tanned skin and black hair, hinted at Native American bloodlines, yet her pale blue eyes made guessing her exact heritage difficult. Whatever her heritage, she certainly is gorgeous...and she seems drawn to Janna.

Despite the officer's obvious preoccupation with her work, Jay couldn't help trying to get to know this intriguing woman a little better. He thought happily to himself, I am just a nosy nellie, after all!

"So" he started, "Officer Zamora. How long have you been on the force?"

Ryan gritted her teeth but looked up pleasantly and said, "Twelve years. I started right out of college."

"Oh, I see. That would make you about the same age as our Janna, wouldn't it? Early 30's?"

"Yes, actually we're the same age. We went to school together here."

She bent down to return to her writing but Jay Jay continued unabashedly in his sing song voice, "Well, what a small world! Our little one returns home from the big city and is immediately saved by a tall, dark knight from her past! How lucky she was that you were nearby!"

Embarrassed, Ryan scowled mildly and replied, "Actually sir, she didn't seem to need much in the way of saving. It appeared that it was she who was acting as your protector. My partner and I just showed up and did our jobs."

"Oh you're much too modest." Then he added conspiratorially, "You're just her type you know - tall, dark and mysterious. Did you know that she's a famous rock musician - now retired of course, but still..."

Now acutely bothered, Ryan didn't try to hide her irritation. "Sir, no offense, but I really need to concentrate on this paperwork."

"Oh, sorry. No offense taken. You go ahead." He waved his hand at her and turned back to Doug, who scowled at him while Missy just shook her head.

Jesus Christ, that's all I needed to hear, I'm her "type". She stopped writing and contemplated her pen as she mused. Rock musician, huh? Doesn't sound like my type at all. She continued to comprehend the enigma who was Janna Norden, now oblivious to the presence of the clipboard and file folder on her lap.

Just then, a lean, middle-aged doctor in blue scrubs appeared and asked, "Is there someone here with Ms. Norden?" Janna's friends and Ryan immediately stood and the doctor addressed them all. "Are you family?"

Missy answered, "No, we're friends visiting from San Francisco. She has family here but we don't know how to get in touch with them."

The doctor turned to Ryan and said, "I'm Dr. Turner, Officer. Do you have her emergency contact information?"

Ryan's gut clenched in fear as he said this, but her face remained impassive, as she replied, "No I haven't been able to get that yet. Is she all right?"

Her heart beat wildly until the doctor finally responded, "She'll be fine. She has a mild concussion and a badly bruised humerus in her right arm, as well strained ligaments in her shoulder. She is resting now, but was concerned that her parents be notified. Apparently she had planned to stop in at their house tonight and thought they might be worried when they couldn't reach her."

Ryan sighed visibly with relief, an action that did not go unnoticed by Jay Jay, who raised an eyebrow perceptively, and by Missy, who smiled inwardly at her friend's good fortune. The doctor continued, "We'll need to keep her here overnight for observation, but she should be able to go home tomorrow." Looking at Ryan, he said, "Officer, she may not be up to answering questions tonight, but you're welcome to wait around and see if you want."

"I think I'll do that, thanks."

Turning to Janna's friends he said, "You can see her briefly if you'd like to, but don't tire her. She needs to rest."

"Sure, doctor, thanks," said Missy. As Dr. Turner left, Jay turned to his friends and said, "Let's go see our girl, kids! Officer, are you coming?"

Startled, Ryan replied, "Um, no. You go ahead. I'll wait until you've had your visit."

"Suit yourself", sang Jay and Doug and Missy smiled at her as they walked by.

A short time later the three friends emerged from Janna's cubicle and returned to the waiting room. As they approached Ryan, Doug said, "Officer, she says she feels up to talking to you now. She gave us her house keys so we're going to her place now. We also have her Mom's phone number so we'll let her know what's going on."

Missy reached out for Ryan's hand and grasped it gently, saying, "Thanks so much for your help, Officer. If you need to talk to us again we'll be at Janna's...here's her number," and she handed her a scrap of paper.

Ryan replied, "Thanks, I appreciate that. I think I have all the information I need though. Janna mentioned that you were on your way to the Lake...I don't see a problem if you want to go ahead and go tomorrow."

"Oh, okay, we'll keep that in mind. But I think we'll wait and see how she's doing tomorrow before we decide. Thanks again." Doug and Jay repeated their thanks, Jay with a twinkle in his eye, and both shook the officer's hand.

After they left, Ryan took a calming breath before turning and heading toward the cubicle where Janna Norden rested.

As she lay on the uncomfortable gurney, Janna heard someone approaching her area and looked at the entrance expectantly. When she saw Officer Zamora peek her lovely, concerned face around the doorway, the butterflies in her stomach started fluttering again and a pleasant warmth spread throughout her being. She smiled weakly and said, "Hi Officer. Sorry to keep you here so long."

Smiling gently, Ryan responded, "Call me Ryan, please, and don't worry about it. It's part of the job." As she pulled a chair up next to the gurney she said, "So do you feel up to answering some questions for me?"

Janna grinned mildly and said, "Sure do. Shoot!"

At that Ryan winced and said, "Ooh, don't ever say that to a cop!" then smiled.

"Ah, right. Got ya'. Go ahead."

Ryan's grin disappeared, though her expression remained soft and concerned as she resumed her role as police officer and set about asking Janna about the attack.

Sometime later, her last question answered, Ryan sat back in the large vinyl-covered chair and relaxed a little. She looked thoughtfully at Janna and said, "So, how are you feeling? Is there much pain?"

"Not much right now, no. They gave me some pretty heavy painkillers. I ought to really feel it tomorrow though."

"Well, try to take it easy and get a lot of rest. These things take a little time to heal."

"Yeah, I remember. I think it will be a little easier to follow doctor's orders this time, since I'm not in a touring rock band." She grinned wryly at the pleasant cop.

Ryan raised her eyebrows in interest and asked, "Oh, is that why you were in Seattle? At the time of the other attack I mean?"

"Yes and no. I was living there at the time but we had just finished the first gig on a U.S. tour. We left the next day for California. On a bus. God, I do not miss those days!"

"It must have been an exciting way of life though."

"Actually the excitement wore off for me pretty early on. I'm basically a homebody, not at all into heavy partying and that type of scene. It was the love of performing that got me through. As soon as that went away, I quit. Started doing only session work, then producing. Then when the joy went out of that I drifted into photography. That's what I do now."

"Oh, I see. I would have thought that being in punk bands would have generated a pretty wild lifestyle. That's another confirmation, I guess, that generalizations can be unfair."

"In my case yeah. I've always been into a pretty natural, healthy lifestyle. And the people in the bands I was in tended to be cerebral and idealistic. 'Striving to enact social change through our music'. Obviously we were quite naïve as well."

"But well-meaning. That's a pretty noble cause as far as I'm concerned."

"Well thanks, I think so too." Janna smiled warmly at Ryan as she said this and received a warm smile in return. "Um, our main 'cause' was civil rights, especially for gays and lesbians. Obviously, tonight's little episode was proof positive that we still have a long way to go in that area."

"I'm afraid you're right about that. People will always fear what they don't understand, and the weakest lash out in anger." She gazed intently at Janna and added, "I'm no fan of 'phobes myself, if you know what I mean." One of her dark eyebrows lifted knowingly as she said that and Janna nodded, warmed by the intimate confession and curiously elated as well.

Ryan continued, "I guess coming here from the City, you were unprepared for the degree of backward thinking here. I'm sorry you received such an awful reminder of just how far we have to go here, compared with there."

At that Ryan stood up and moved closer to the gurney. She rested her hand lightly on Janna's arm and said, "Well, listen, I'd better let you get some rest. Will they be moving you into a regular room for the night?"

Janna gingerly reached over with her injured arm, which was resting in a sling, and covered Ryan's larger hand with hers, saying, "Geez, I hope so. This 'bed' is far from comfortable. I wish they'd just let me go home. I've got friends there if I need any help."

"Yeah, I know" Ryan replied with compassion. "But regulations, you know. They don't want any unnecessary liability." She looked down at Janna's hand on hers but made no move to leave. She allowed herself to revel, momentarily, in the warmth their shared touch created in her. Then she briefly covered Janna's hand with her other one, giving it a gentle squeeze as she did and said, "Well, goodbye then. I hope you have a good night. I think I'll stop by in the morning on my way into the station and see how you're doing."

Janna reluctantly let go of Ryan's hand and said, "Thanks Ryan, but that's not necessary, you must be busy."

The cop grinned pleasantly and said, "Nope, tomorrow's my day off. I'm just going in for a while to catch up on some paperwork. I live nearby so it's no trouble at all. You take care now." She smiled gently at Janna and left, stopping and turning briefly at the doorway to give a little wave.

Janna sighed and said to the empty room, "'Night Ryan. Sweet dreams."

Ryan sat in her borrowed patrol car, unwilling to leave the hospital parking lot and dwelling on the reasons why. She shook her head softly thinking, I am in a lot of trouble here. She looked up at the emergency room doors and softly said, "Good night Janna. Sweet dreams."

-4-

The next day dawned hazy and warm, a typical July day in the arid San Joaquin Valley. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as Ryan drove the short distance to Janna's hospital. As she drove, she reflected on her meeting with the interesting young woman the night before. She had made quite a strong impression on the usually implacable and unimpressionable cop. In fact, Ryan had not slept well for thinking of the cute blonde and the effect she was having on her resolve not to become involved, not to mention the effect it was having on her libido. When she did sleep, it was fitfully, fraught with strange dreams of herself and Janna in a strange and ancient land. She awoke feeling confused and somewhat shaken, but upon remembering that she was going to visit Janna, her disquiet disappeared instantly, replaced by an uncharacteristic giddiness.

Ryan strode through the front entrance of the hospital and stopped at the information desk to enquire as to Janna's whereabouts. She was told that the patient had been moved during the night to a room on the 3rd floor. As she rode the elevator up, she realized that she was feeling apprehension at seeing her new friend again. Friend, she thought. Yeah I really do want to be her friend...Actually, I feel like we're already old friends...Strange. Feeling apprehension in any situation was rare for her. She was usually able to maintain a calm reserve, even in the most stressful and heated situations. But this little blonde really had her going. She felt almost like a teenager on her first date.

As she approached room 329 she heard laughter and gay voices. Gay, she smiled inwardly, how appropriate! So, it was with a soft, warm smile that she came through the open doorway and stood looking at the room's occupants. Janna was sitting in the bed, right arm still in a sling and butterfly strips on the wound over her right eye, looking adorably rumpled (in Ryan's estimation). Her friends from last night as well as an older man and woman surrounded her bed. Janna looked up as Ryan entered the room and a large smile appeared on her pretty face. Ryan returned the smile unabashedly and quietly said, "Hi. How ya feeling this morning?"

As if her sustained wide grin weren't enough, Janna answered, "Pretty good. I've got lots of company as you can see!"

At that Jay Jay jumped up and trilled, "Beth, Marv, you just have to meet the brave police officer who saved us last night!" He flitted over to Ryan and touched her arm.

As a blush swept swiftly up her face, Ryan said, "Hi, I'm Ryan Zamora. Janna's friend here is prone to exaggeration, as you probably know."

"Nonsense!" trilled Jay, adding, "If you and your partner hadn't shown up when you did we all would probably have been killed! Don't you dare downplay your bravery. I won't hear it!"

"Well, thank you Mr. Sampson, but like I said last night, it was Janna who was the brave one and my partner and I were just doing our jobs."

"Oh you! Janna how will you put up with this one?" At that remark Janna blushed crimson, Missy coughed, and Doug grabbed his mate by the arm and dragged him out of the door. All the while, poor Ryan stared down at her shoes, which had apparently suddenly become fascinating.

Janna's mother Beth broke the tension by saying, "Officer Zamora, we realize that you were only doing what you are paid to do but we appreciate it tremendously nevertheless. So thank you."

"Yes, we can't thank you enough," added her husband Marv.

Ryan looked up at Janna's parents and graciously said, "Your welcome. I'm so glad I was there to help. I appreciate your kind words." She felt very warmed in the presence of these nice people and glanced shyly over at Janna, who gazed back at her fondly and smiled, then quickly looked down at her hands.

Missy cleared her throat and said, "Well, buddy of mine, since you're doing so well and have assured us that you don't need us hanging around, we're gonna take off for the Lake, okay?"

"You bet, Mis. You guys go and have great time. You all deserve it."

"Oh, I wish you could come too" she pouted. "Who knows what those guys are gonna put me through without you there on my side."

Janna beckoned her friend closer and as she leaned in, whispered, "I happen to know that they plan to take you to all the big stage shows. They figure you'll enjoy seeing the topless showgirls while they get to ogle the cute gay dancers. You'll have a blast!"

Grinning, Missy answered with interest, "Oh really? All right, sounds good to me. And while I'm there and taking in the beautiful sights I'll be thinking of you!" Janna smirked and Missy added, "I'm talking the beauties of nature: the mountains, the lake, the fresh air? You naughty girl!"

Janna grinned, "I know what you were talking about!" Then she glanced over at the beautiful cop lounging against the wall, one knee bent and propped behind her on the wall. She was dressed for her day off in faded jeans and a white tank top, which showed off her dark tan. Her position, arms crossed behind her back, served to highlight her full breasts and strong shoulder muscles. Janna sighed softly and said, "I've got all the natural beauty I need right here."

"Whoo baby you sure do! Good luck with that!" Missy whispered. "I'll tell the guys that you said goodbye and for them to be good at the Lake!" With that Missy kissed her friend goodbye, bid her parents farewell, thanked the cop once again and left in search of her trip mates.

With the room suddenly much quieter, Ryan leaned forward, intending to step up to the bed to say goodbye, when Janna's mom said, "Well honey, we have to get going. We have a date at the gym. Now you be sure and give me a call when you're ready for a ride home."

"Thanks Mom, Dad. I'm sorry to have to trouble you. I know you're both working today."

"Oh honey, it's no trouble. I'll be glad of the excuse to stop for a while and get out. See you later."

She leaned forward and kissed her daughter on the cheek as her husband said, "You get some more rest now sweetie. I know you won't once you get home."

"Okay, Dad, I will. Bye."

They each shook Ryan's hand as they left and then the two women were left alone. They gazed quietly at one another in comfortable silence, both of them simultaneously sharing the identical thought: I want to get to know this woman. Ryan broke the silence by clearing her throat quietly and said, "Um, you know, I only have to work for a few hours. I'd be happy to swing back by and take you home. You only live a few blocks from me." She gazed at Janna expectantly and waited for her to answer.

When Janna did answer, it was somewhat sadly. "Oh, I can't ask you to do that Ryan, but thanks anyway."

Ryan pushed down the feelings of disappointment those words caused and tried again. "Really Janna I don't mind. And um, to be perfectly honest, I'd like to see you some more." Then she quickly added, "If that's what you want, I mean, and you don't find it inappropriate." She gazed hopefully and somewhat shyly at Janna, and this time her heart was warmed when her friend smiled happily and nodded.

"Oh God, Ryan, that would be great, and not at all inappropriate", Janna gasped with relief. She added, grinning, "In fact I've been sitting here wondering what I could possibly do to get your attention again. Short of committing a crime that is!"

Ryan let out her held breath with relief and grinning rakishly, said, "You certainly wouldn't have to go to any trouble to get me to notice you." Jesus, did I really just say that? Then, "Well, um, I'll see you in a few hours then. Try to get some rest until then, okay?"

Yeah right! Not when I have seeing you again to look forward to! Janna thought just before replying, "All right, I'll do that. See you in a bit."

At that Ryan pushed away from the wall and started to leave but then abruptly stopped and tentatively came to the side of the bed, where she leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Janna's cheek. Then she quickly turned and left the room. Janna was left sitting in shock, eyes wide, mouth open in a silly grin. Oh my God, I think I'm gonna die! Now there's no way in hell that I'll be able to get any rest. The warmth left by Ryan's lips on her cheek quickly spread to every part of her body, aided by the pounding of her heart.

As soon as Ryan escaped Janna's room, she leaned back against the wall and ran one hand through her hair. Fucking Christ, what did I just do? What is this woman doing to me? She shook her head in disgust but then grinned at the tingling warmth still lingering on her lips. The silly grin was still plastered on her face as she entered the station house ten minutes later.

~~~~~~~~~~

Needless to say, 3 hours later, Janna had neither slept, nor had Ryan accomplished anything productive at the office. Both women were shocked at the intensity of their attraction for the other and puzzled both over the reasons for it and how to handle it.

Janna was a voracious reader, and had a lifelong fascination with metaphysics and mysticism, so in her spare time on long road trips she had made an exploration into esoteric studies. As a result, she believed in the concept of soulmates, but had never given much thought to ever actually meeting hers. In fact, she had become somewhat jaded in her views on love. She had only given her heart away a few times, but each time she had been hurt a little more when the relationship had ended.

Now, however, she was starting to believe that she might have met her soul's match. A small part of her didn't want to believe it, because it would mean committing to the idea of being in a relationship again - something she would have sworn only days ago that she was not yet ready to do. Yet, whenever she was with Ryan, she felt a deep familiarity, a comfort, as if they had been very close their whole lives. She was experiencing an intense physical and emotional longing to be close to Ryan, more than she had ever experienced with anyone else before. Janna was beginning to believe that there was a strong possibility that the two of them had been together before, in another life - possibly in many other lives. This concept both thrilled and terrified her. On top of all that, she was at that very moment feeling an actual physical pain, near her heart, at being separated from Ryan.

Ryan, on the other hand, had very little use for what she considered to be impractical, abstract, "new age" ideas. Though she had been raised to believe in the wisdom of traditional Native American knowledge, she was still a realist. She believed in what she saw with her own eyes and in what she could quantify. She liked dealing with facts, not relying on elusive theories pulled from the ether. She had never particularly believed in the concept of soulmates. She had certainly never met hers, if she even had one, nor did she expect to.

She had enjoyed some satisfying relationships, but she had also endured a few truly horrible ones. So bad were a few, in fact, that she didn't particularly care to commit herself to anyone ever again. She wasn't even sure that she believed that humans were capable of monogamy - at least not over a lifetime. She had surely not been lucky enough, she thought, to find someone who wanted to be with her forever, nor had she ever felt that way about anyone else. Her longest previous relationship had lasted not quite a year, and she had been badly hurt at the end. The majority of her past relationships had consisted mainly of meaningless affairs and one night stands. She liked to be in control of her own destiny, but in this situation with Janna, she felt like she had no control over what was happening.

Yet here she was, feeling as if she couldn't go even an hour without seeing this woman. A woman she had only just met yesterday. Yes, she remembered Janna from school, but they had run in completely different crowds and she had quickly squashed the schoolgirl crush that she had developed on the little blonde. This was a skill that she would become adept at in adulthood. This whole attraction was just incredibly strange. She felt that she needed Janna. Needed to be near her, to touch her, to protect her. Needed to love her. Ryan had never needed anyone before. And way the hell does my heart ache when we're apart, like it does right now?

After almost three hours of trying to concentrate on her paperwork, Ryan came to the realization that she needed to be with Janna. Needed to get to know her. Was, in fact, falling in love with her. How could this be?

A few miles away in her hospital bed, Janna came to the same realization about Ryan. She admitted to herself that she was falling in love with her. Is this really happening?

At noon Ryan finally threw in the towel and decided to leave for the hospital. Driving there her palms were so sweaty that she had to repeatedly wipe them on her jeans, despite the air conditioning in her truck. As the large hospital came into view she still had no idea of how to proceed with Janna. She only knew that she would do everything within her power to become close to the woman. She had no choice but to do so. God, I want her. I hope I don't jump her like some horny beast and scare her away.

Janna's doctor finally released her at 11:00. In the ensuing hour she felt like a nervous wreck. She was too wired to eat or to watch TV or even to read. She didn't even notice the dull throbbing in her head or the sharp, knife-like pains in her shoulder. All she could think about was Ryan, but she hadn't a clue what she would do when she arrived. Just play it by ear and pray that it goes well, I guess. God, please don't let me act like a lovesick idiot and scare her off!

-5-

When Ryan walked into Janna's hospital room she found her new friend standing by the window, gazing out at her tree-filled hometown. Through the haze, she could just barely make out the faint outline of the Coast Range of mountains to the west. The more distant Sierras to the east were not visible at all. She was still wearing her hospital gown, but now had her jeans and sandals on again. Ryan was struck by how the sunlight turned Janna's hair golden, bringing out faint red highlights and she had the strongest impression that she had seen Janna just that way many, many times before. Her heart clenched at the lovely sight and a lump formed in her throat. Oh my God. I have fallen in love.

As she heard Ryan enter, Janna turned. Her heart warmed impossibly at the sight of her new friend and smiling, she greeted Ryan with a, "Hi there".

"Hi".

Janna's smile became apologetic. "I'm sorry, I'm not quite ready to go yet. I was having trouble getting dressed with this sling on so the nurse said she'd be in shortly to give me a hand. That was about twenty minutes ago" she scowled.

"That's ok. I'm not in a hurry" Ryan replied, smiling warmly, as she sat at the end of the bed, facing the wall. Her first inclination was to offer to help Janna dress, but she quickly quashed that idea, as it would put Janna's virtue at extreme risk. She sat on the bed, feeling somewhat nervous, not quite knowing what to say or do, but feeling happy at being in the small blonde's presence again.

Janna approached and sat tentatively next to her, wriggling clumsily up onto the bed and bending a leg under her. As she faced Ryan she said, "So, did you get all your paperwork done?"

"Oh, I uh, made a dent in it" Ryan lied. She hadn't really wanted to finish the arrest report today anyway. Let the asshole cool his heels in jail all weekend. Fucker. The better she got to know, and care for, Janna, the more she hated the son of a bitch.

"Oh. There must be a lot of it huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Lying again. She had been all caught up before Janna's incident.

"Sounds like a drag."

"Oh, God, it is. Worst thing about the job."

"Huh. So, do you really enjoy the other aspects of the job? I hope?" Janna asked with an expectant smile.

Smiling, "Yeah. Yeah I really do. It's all I ever really wanted to do. I love bike patrol duty. When the department created the unit a few years ago I jumped at the chance to do it. Before that I drove a patrol car and hoped to one day get on a motorcycle." Turning now to face more toward Janna, she then asked, "How about you - are you happy with your career?" She mentally kicked herself. God what a fuckin' dorky question. Shit.

Janna apparently didn't find the question at all dorky because her face lit up as she answered, "Oh yeah. I'm loving it, and already have had a few small successes."

Ryan felt curiously warmed at hearing Janna say that she was happy. "Oh that's great. I'm really glad to hear that. You said you were a photographer now, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. I'm working mostly freelance, doing a lot of nature work. I absolutely love being outdoors so much. And traveling. I adore the mountains and have been spending a lot of time up there."

Ryan found Janna's lovely smile infectious and sported an equally lovely smile of her own. "Oh, that sounds fantastic. I love the mountains too. I do a lot of mountain biking and backpacking up there. Maybe we can make a trip together some time?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'd love that, Ryan!" Janna responded happily, with a smile that warmed Ryan to her very core. Janna added, "You've got to really love biking to spend so much time on one, don't you?"

"Yeah" Ryan smiled shyly. "It's not just the biking. It's the whole package. Being outdoors, exercising, breathing in the fresh, clean air...in the mountains I mean!"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It sounds like we have that in common too." Janna's smile widened and then she looked down at her hands shyly, warming Ryan's heart even more. "Hey, I got some good news from the doctor today!" She said as she looked back up at Ryan.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" delivered with an endearing rakish grin and one lifted eyebrow.

"He said that I should be able to play ball in a few weeks...if I'm good and let the ligaments heal properly. Any strenuous activity too early will also stress the bone bruise. Cause inflammation I think he said." Then she added, "I didn't tell him that I heal pretty fast though."

"Well, I'll have to make sure you stick to the plan then. I'd like to see you play." That's not all I'd like to see you do.

"I'm dying to get out there and play so I will definitely be following doctor's orders, Coach."

As she said this she picked up Ryan's hand and looked at her fondly. They held each other's gaze and both became lost in a timeless moment. Shining emerald eyes locked with brilliant sapphire and the message conveyed was not lost on either woman, nor was the intense tingling sensation where they touched.

Ryan looked down at their hands and intertwined their fingers. She cleared her throat gently and holding the other woman's gaze said, "Janna, I'm really looking forward to spending some time with you."

Janna's face became even more radiant as she replied, "I'm very much looking forward to that too, Ryan. I must say that I, um, feel like something very special is happening here. As strange as it may seem."

"I'm feeling the same way, Janna." Ryan said as she brought their linked hands to her lips and gently kissed Janna's fingers, her eyes never leaving Janna's.

Janna's heart lurched violently at the electric contact, but the moment was broken when the nurse suddenly returned, completely oblivious of the fact that she had just interrupted a very special moment.

"Okay, hon, let's get you dressed and out of here!"

The two friends, who had been sitting cross-legged facing each other, clumsily unclasped their hands and parted, and Janna dropped her feet to the floor.

Ryan, somewhat embarrassed, quickly said, "I'll wait outside in the hall." She sought refuge, as before, just outside the door and took a shaky breath. One more second and I would have kissed those beautiful lips. Jesus. I am gone...totally and completely gone on this woman. She marveled at the fact that her heart was pounding and she was shaking. No one has ever had this kind of effect on me.

The nurse stepped out a few moments later, with Janna trailing her. "Okay ladies, let me grab a wheelchair and we'll wheel you out to your car."

When Janna started to protest, the nurse held up her hand and said, "I know. But it's hospital policy. I have to wheel you to the curb. Just sit down and enjoy the ride, hon."

Janna grudgingly sat down in the chair and scowled as Ryan unsuccessfully smothered a grin. Then, smiling, added, "Just you wait, Coach. I'll have you in an embarrassing situation some time, then who'll be smiling?"

Oh, I am so counting on that, baby...you have absolutely no idea! Ryan thought, but said instead, "Yeah, yeah, babe, promises, promises!" She winked at Janna as she bestowed upon her another of her patented rakish grins.

Janna's blush lasted all the way down to the parking lot.

~~~~~~~~~~

With Janna seated comfortably in Ryan's Ford Explorer, the cop made the short drive to Janna's place. They both lived within the nearby historical district, their homes only a few blocks apart.

"Small world, huh, that we live in the same neighborhood? Coincidental, but nice."

"Yeah", replied the cop. "Very nice." She glanced thoughtfully at Janna. "I'd call it a case of mutual good taste and yet another thing we have in common." She began to blush and looked quickly back to the road in front of her.

Janna smiled as her heart lurched. She's got the cutest blush I've ever seen. Probably because she doesn't do it much.

Ryan scowled inwardly at herself and thought, Jesus, she's got me blushing again.

A companionable silence ensued before Janna said, "So, you have my address, right?"

"Yeah, I got it from the file. It's just about a block ahead on the left isn't it?

"Yep. It's the gray two-story in need of a paint job, just up there" and she pointed to an attractively styled large, two-story Victorian with a rather new Jeep parked in the driveway. There was construction scaffolding lining one entire wall of the house.
Seeing the house, Ryan smiled and said, "I thought that might be your house. I was glad to see that someone finally bought it a while back. I've been curious as to how much renovation the new owner might do."

Janna grinned and said, "Well the new owner is planning on restoring it completely to its original state - on the exterior anyway. I'm modernizing it on the inside."

"Sounds great. What was the original color, do you know?"

"Yes, I researched that. It was a warm yellow with white trim. I think it will be really bright and cheery.

Ryan nodded, agreeing, "Oh, yeah, sounds real nice." She then looked warmly at Janna and added, "I'm glad you're taking an interest in restoring it correctly. This neighborhood was in really poor shape, but now it's really starting to come back again."

"Oh, I know. I couldn't believe it when I first came back here and saw it. When we were kids this was a pretty rough neighborhood, remember?"

"Sure do."

"And downtown! I can't believe how much redevelopment is going on. When we were kids it was called 'skid row', but I went down to City Square to eat lunch the other day and I was truly impressed."

Ryan smiled proudly because it was her beat that Janna was talking about. "Oh, yeah? My partner and I eat lunch in the Square a lot. Yeah, downtown is changing dramatically. I'll have to show you the master plan sometime. In a few years the waterfront will be completely redeveloped as well. I'm really looking forward to it."

Ryan pulled the Explorer to a stop behind Janna's Jeep and jumped out to assist her friend.

"Nice Jeep!"

"Thanks! Your Explorer is nice too. We both drive SUV's - typical lesbians!" Janna giggled.

Ryan threw her head back and laughed. It was a deep, full-throated laugh that turned Janna's knees to jelly. "Yep", she said, "I guess we are!" She walked Janna to the porch, her hand on the small of her friend's back. When they got to the door Janna reached into her pocket for her keys, saying, "Will you come in for a bit?"

"Um, well, you really should rest shouldn't you?"

"Nah, I slept pretty well last night - I must have been wiped out. I'm really not tired now. Please come in, just for a while? I'd like to show you the renovations I'm doing."

"All right, if you're sure you're not tired, I'd like that." Janna's open smile melted her heart even further and Ryan followed the smaller woman into the house.

Janna commenced the grand tour, pointing out finished and future renovations. She started with the completed rooms, which were upstairs. The first to be completed was the large master suite. It occupied fully one half of the upper floor and contained a large bedroom with sitting area, fireplace and large walk-in closet. Adjoining it was a large, luxurious bath with double sink, shower and a large, square whirlpool tub set into a corner. A skylight in the ceiling flooded the room with light.

"Wow," exclaimed Ryan with a wide grin. "You don't do anything halfway do you?" With a raised eyebrow she added, "I love the tub."

Janna blushed mildly and smiled. "I plan to stay here so I wanted to do everything right. And I happen to love bubble baths."

Ryan clamped down on what she almost said and just grinned jauntily instead. Janna grabbed her hand and said, "Come on. There are two more bedrooms and an office finished. Then we'll go back downstairs."

Ryan followed along happily, not unlike a puppy dog, relishing the warm contact with Janna's hand. For both women, the warmth in their clasped hands shot straight to their hearts and stayed there, the first tendrils of a life-long bond forming.

During the rest of the tour, Ryan nodded thoughtfully, making occasional knowledgeable comments, having had experience with that type of historical renovation.

The tour finished on the bottom floor at the back of the house where the studio and darkroom were under construction. "This will be my pride and joy," Janna said happily. "I designed it myself to be both functional and comfortable. I plan to spend many long, happy hours in here". At the same time she thought, Although with you in my life I can think of another room where I'd rather spend many long, happy hours.

Coincidentally, Ryan was having remarkably similar thoughts and as they looked at each other, they both were blushing slightly. Ryan recovered first and leered at Janna shamelessly, watching her friend's face turn beet red. Ryan quickly took pity on her and, offering her hand said, "Come on. I think we both could use something cold to drink."

"You better believe it," mumbled Janna, still holding Ryan's hand. Ryan led them to the kitchen and leaned back, elbows on the counter.

"I see you've finished the kitchen too," Ryan said as she looked around, admiring the large space. It had whitewashed cabinets with glass fronts, matching white appliances and a large central island.

"Yep, the most important rooms first!" Janna grinned as she walked to the refrigerator and asked, "What would you like?"
"Oh, I don't know. Whaddya have?"

"Let's see. Spring water, beer, iced tea, soda, wine..."

"What are you having?"

"Well, I'm still on painkillers so alcohol is out. A Coke I think."

"Sounds good. I'll have one too."

Janna inclined her head towards the living room and Ryan went on in. The room was very comfortable looking with a large, soft sofa, two overstuffed armchairs and a loveseat positioned in a semi-circle around a rough pine coffee table. The room was done up in a Southwestern motif, the furniture sporting muted desert colors. Opposite the loveseat was a large entertainment center, which housed state of the art audio and video equipment. Two electric guitars and one acoustic sat on stands on either side of the entertainment center, as did a large Peavey amplifier. Next to the amp stood a large pine tower filled with CD's. The titles represented an amazingly eclectic mix of musical styles. Besides the expected punk titles there were titles ranging from classic and modern rock, to new age to classical.

On the other side of the entertainment unit stood a tall tower filled with videotapes. Quickly scanning the titles, Ryan noted many current and classic favorites, a large percentage of which were science fiction and action films. The top shelf, she noted with a smirk, contained gay and lesbian titles, including her current favorite, the recent lesbian classic, "Desert Hearts." Smiling inwardly, she thought, I'd love to watch that one with her some time!

The walls of the attractive room held several Native American art prints, and numerous Native American ceremonial and artistic objects dotted the various surfaces in the room. Smiling, Ryan realized that the Native American décor made her feel right at home. Every surface in the room contained at least one candle. Against another wall stood a floor to ceiling bookshelf filled with books.

Janna returned with their sodas and took a seat at one end of the sofa and Ryan sat next to her. From where she sat, Ryan could see that the bookshelf contained numerous books on music and almost as many esoteric titles. There were also many books on science and astronomy, as well as science fiction. The top two shelves were filled with Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual titles, ranging from novels to essays, to art books to self-help and instructional books. She noticed more than a few titles matched some in her own library and was struck again at how very similar their interests seemed to be, as well as how well-matched they seemed to be intellectually. I don't believe I've ever found anyone so attractive in every way, she thought as she casually looked around the room and sipped her drink. My God, I want this woman. I want to know her completely.

Janna noticed Ryan thoughtfully observing the room and asked, "Do you like what you see?"

Ryan turned to her and replied seriously, "Yes I do. Very much so."

"Good. I'm glad. I'd like for you to feel comfortable and welcome here Ryan." She smiled quietly at her new friend and held her gaze.

"I do Janna. Thank you." She looked down at the drink sitting on her knee and played with the moisture on the rim with her thumb. "Um, Janna, I want to be honest with you about something, if you're feeling up to having a serious discussion." She looked back up at Janna expectantly, her blue eyes serious.

Janna, concerned, said, "Sure, Ryan, I'm feeling okay right now. What is it?"

Ryan looked back down at her glass and began, stammering a little, "It's just that, well, I want you to know... um...how I feel." A look of dejection marred her perfect features and she shook her head, saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not good at expressing my feelings. Damn." She took a sip from her glass and set it on the table in front of her.

Janna's heart filled with compassion for this woman whom she was beginning to love. She reached over and picked up one of Ryan's hands, holding it in hers, and said, "It's okay Ryan. Just take your time. I care and I'm listening."

Ryan smiled weekly and began, "Okay...I'm sure you've noticed the feelings passing between us, right?"

Janna nodded in the affirmative and smiled gently, squeezing Ryan's hand.

Ryan took a breath and continued, "Right. Well, I'm feeling myself very strongly attracted to you Janna. Not just physically, although that's undeniable". She smiled crookedly and suddenly her words were upheld by a warmth which shot from her groin and spread out in every direction.

She cleared her throat again. "Not entirely physical. It's emotional as well. I've never been so strongly attracted to anyone before and certainly not this fast. I mean, I've only known you for one day, for Christ's sake." At this she shook her head and continued, "What I'm trying to say, besides that I'm starting to care deeply for you, is that, I'm not used to this. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time - several years - by choice. The last relationship I was in ended very badly and I haven't wanted to risk that again. It just wasn't worth it. But now, I don't know...I think I very much want to be involved with you. I can't fight it, and it's scaring the hell out of me." Her face was etched with concern, her brilliant eyes misty, as she looked up into Janna's loving gaze.

Janna found herself moved beyond all reason. Her eyes filled with tears and took on a depth of compassion and love that Ryan had never before witnessed, warming her instantly and easing her fear. She reached out for Ryan with her good arm and pulled her tightly to her, holding her close. In a breaking voice, she said, "Oh Ryan, thank you for telling me that. I feel exactly the same way for you. I don't completely understand it myself and it scares me too, because I've been burned as well."

She added, somewhat embarrassed, "At the risk of sounding hokey, I think we just might have an 'eternal soulmates' type thing happening here." She chuckled nervously and a similar laugh bubbled up from Ryan's chest.

Her head still buried against Janna's uninjured shoulder, Ryan replied, "Yeah, well I used to think that stuff was hokey too but now I'm not so sure." Lifting her head and looking deeply into Janna's eyes, she said, "I feel like I've known you forever...um...like I've loved you forever."

Janna answered her by gently capturing Ryan's lips with her own. Immediately they were both swept up in an all-consuming warmth and the rest of the world seemed to fall away from them. Ryan returned the kiss gently, broke away for an instant, then kissed Janna again passionately. She lightly brushed her tongue against Janna's lips, which parted instantly in acceptance. The kiss deepened, tongues dancing and intertwining ardently. A soft gasp escaped from Janna's throat as Ryan moaned. The kiss continued until both women were breathless. They separated a little, still holding one another and Ryan gasped, "Jesus!"

Janna, eyes closed and breathing hard, could only smile and nod her head. Finally she said, "My God Ryan, I've never felt this way about anyone!" Looking seriously at Ryan, she added, "I've never wanted anyone so much."

Ryan pulled her into another tight embrace, resting her cheek against Janna's blond head. "Neither have I, Janna. Not even close." She lightly kissed Janna's hair and reluctantly said, "I hate to say this, but we'd better stop now. You're really not up to this, I know, and you should be resting." With a wry look, she added, "Not to mention the fact that we should slow this down some."

Janna nodded tearfully and said, "I know, you're right. I'm feeling kind of faint at the moment. However," she added with a smile, "I think that's your fault, not the concussion's."

Ryan laughed her wonderful, deep laugh and nodded her agreement. "Will you rest now then?"

"Only if you stay with me," said Janna looking up through long blonde lashes.

"I'd love to, more than I can say. Come 'ere." She grinned as she kicked off her Birkenstock's and sat back against the end of the sofa, beckoning to Janna with outstretched arms. Janna snuggled happily into her arms, head resting on her chest, and closed her eyes. Ryan wrapped her arms around her new love and realized immediately that she felt utterly complete. Her entire being was filled with a warmth that emanated from her heart center and expanded out to include the woman lying in her arms. Janna felt the same unique sensation and knew, from the very depths of her soul, that she had just become bonded for life. Both women could feel the strong cord which now linked their hearts, and they silently, simultaneously, thanked whatever Universal powers that existed for bringing them together. For bringing them home.

-6-

Ryan awoke several hours later with Janna still resting in her arms, feeling a peace and a contentment that she had never ever experienced before. She had been awakened by a soft groan and as she opened her eyes she could see Janna grimacing in her sleep. Ryan bent her head and lightly kissed the top of her friend's head. Janna shifted slightly, moaning again. "Janna, hon, are you ok?" whispered Ryan.

"Hurts" came the mumbled reply. "Pain pill must have worn off."

Checking her watch, Ryan saw that it was 4:00 and realized that Janna's painkiller would definitely have worn off. "Sit up hon and I'll go get one for you."

"Don't wanna move" came the grumbled reply.

"Well, honey, I'm sorry but you really need to take one so you can get the rest you need. You should eat something with it too or it could upset your stomach."

"Stomach's already upset. I can't eat anything."

"Just a couple of bites then, please? I'm hungry myself. Can I make a sandwich for us?

"Ok, let me show you..." came the tired reply.

"Oh, no. You stay right here", Ryan interrupted vigorously. "I think I can find my way around your kitchen all right. You care what I make?"

"Nope. Anything's fine. Thanks" came the tired reply.

"No problem" replied Ryan as she extricated herself from her sofa mate, grinning. Then, shaking her head, "I can't believe I slept. I never do that."

"Well, I guess this whole thing has taken something out of you too" replied Janna quietly, rubbing her face.

"Guess so" smiled Ryan in agreement as she started toward the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a pill and a glass of water, which she handed to her friend before returning to the kitchen.

She returned several minutes later, a plate with two sandwiches balanced on it in one hand and two bottled waters clasped in the other. She set the meal on the table next to the couch and turned to see Janna cradling her injured arm, with her head resting on the back of the sofa, grimacing again in pain. Ryan sat down next to her and tenderly kissed Janna's forehead and caressed her cheek. Two cloudy green eyes returned her concerned gaze and at Ryan's touch, some of the tension seemed to leave Janna's face.

"Thanks for taking care of me Ryan. You really shouldn't feel that you have too" said Janna, an anxious expression on her face.
"I know I don't have to. I want to. Very much." Then she added tenderly, "Janna, please let me. There's no place on Earth I would rather be right now."

"God, what did I ever do right to find you?" expressed Janna, looking lovingly into Ryan's striking eyes and receiving a loving look, full of longing, in return.

Ryan replied quietly, "I feel like the lucky one here." Then, changing the subject while handing Janna a ham and cheese sandwich said, "Here, eat a little something for me now".

At that Janna's mouth twisted into a leer and she said seductively, "Anytime baby. I thought you'd never ask!" The tips of Ryan's ears and her high cheekbones rapidly became red and hot, and she quickly picked up a sandwich, cramming a large bite into her mouth. Janna grinned at Ryan's reaction and patted her friend's jeans-clad thigh comfortingly.

They ate in silence, Ryan wondering, not for the first time, just what she had gotten herself into here, and Janna marveling at her good fortune, injuries notwithstanding of course.

When they had finished their snack and Ryan had cleared the dishes, she returned to her end of the sofa, motioning for Janna to cuddle up to her again. This time she spread her legs and Janna sat back against her, between them, head resting on Ryan's chest. Ryan wrapped her arms around the small blonde's waist protectively. Both women noted that a wonderful tingling ran through their bodies, and was especially strong wherever skin touched skin. Two pounding hearts began to beat as one.

"Mmm, this is nice," murmured Janna contentedly.

"Sure is," agreed Ryan. Then, "If it's ok, I'd like to hang around until about 6:30. I have a game at 7:15." Then quickly added, "But if you don't want to be alone, I can miss it, no problem".

"Oh please, stay around until then, I'd like that, but don't miss your game on account of me. Maybe after some more rest I'll feel like going with you. Would that be ok?" asked Janna, turning slightly to see Ryan's face.

Smiling widely, Ryan said, "Sure, I'd like that. But only if you're up to it", she added pointedly. "The bleachers aren't that comfortable and the game will last about an hour and a half."

"That sounds okay. I hope I feel like going. Then she added playfully, grinning, "I'm dying to see you play." At that Ryan looked a bit apprehensive but smiled and pulled Janna back against her, thinking, What the hell am I afraid of? I love this woman. She won't make me nervous on the mound will she? Not likely! No one ever has before. At which the little voice of reason in her head reminded her that she had never known anyone like Janna before. Or loved anyone so much. Oh shit. The team may be in trouble.

A few minutes later, Ryan wriggled uncomfortably and Janna asked, "Are you comfortable?"

"Oh, fine, yeah. I'm just a little warm in these jeans. You don't happen to have a pair of shorts that would fit me do you?"

"Oh, sweetheart no, I doubt it. I'm sorry. Why don't you take them off? I won't mind, in fact..."

"No!" Ryan responded pointedly, eyes wide. Janna tensed a little in her arms, so Ryan added softly, "Um, the truth is that you have aroused me numerous times today. If I take off my pants the scent of that arousal will make me insane with desire for you and I won't be responsible for my actions". She grinned wickedly, nuzzling Janna's hair.

"Oh, I see", replied the blonde, enormously pleased at the admission. She intertwined the fingers of her left hand with Ryan's, which rested on her abdomen. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm soaking wet too."

Ryan swallowed convulsively as another surge of warmth and wetness emanated from her groin area and the throbbing there increased. "Yeah, lots better, thanks", she replied sarcastically. Janna smiled, picking up on Ryan's body's reaction, and snuggled more deeply into her arms, feeling profoundly happy. Her joy spread quickly to Ryan through their connection and both women sighed contentedly. The warmth that permeated and surrounded them soon lulled both of them back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sometime later, a soft nibbling on her neck awakened Ryan. As her pulse quickened, she opened one eye and saw that Janna had turned in her embrace. She smiled and tightened her arms around her love and Janna responded by planting tender kisses on Ryan's neck, moving up her jaw line and ending at her mouth. Ryan placed a hand behind Janna's head, deepening the kiss. They spent long minutes exploring each other's mouths, tongues caressing and cavorting lovingly. Ryan's other hand caressed Janna's back sensuously, then dipped down to move under her shirt. At the touch of Ryan's warm hand on her bare flesh, Janna gasped and turned so that she straddled Ryan's lap. Now face-to-face, their necking intensified, only slightly encumbered by Janna's slinged arm between them. Ryan put her other hand under Janna's shirt, caressing the soft skin of her back with both hands and pulling her more tightly against herself. Ryan was experiencing a physical reaction that shocked her in its intensity. Her pulse pounded and she felt as if every nerve ending in her body were on fire.

Janna, feeling much the same thing as Ryan was feeling, ran the fingers of her left hand through Ryan's raven hair as she kissed her deeply, until, lips still on Ryan's she gasped, "Oh, God Ryan. I want you so!" Then pulling back slightly, she said dejectedly, "I want to love you so badly, but this is making my head throb".

Ryan, eyes wide in alarm, pulled back and said, "Jesus! I'm sorry! Are you ok?" and with concern caressed Janna's injured brow.

Janna caught Ryan's hand and kissing it said, "No my love, I'm sorry. I want you so much but my body is just too sore yet."

Sighing, Ryan relied, "I know Janna. It's ok. Shit. I just can't keep my hands off of you." Then sheepishly added, "Sorry about that."

Placing her fingers on Ryan's lips, Janna whispered, "Shh." Then smiling tenderly added, "I'm not at all sorry. Just hold that thought for another day or so, okay?" Ryan returned the tender smile and leaned forward for one more gentle kiss.

The kiss ended and Ryan rested her forehead against Janna's. With a look of quiet exasperation she stated, "Lord, woman, what you do to me!"

They sat holding each other for a few minutes before Ryan checked her watch and declared that she should leave to prepare for her softball game. "Are you feeling up to accompanying me this evening?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Why yes, I do believe I am, ma'am", Janna replied in a mock Southern accent. "Thank you kindly."

"Why anytime ma'am", Ryan delivered with a rakish grin. They came together for one more hug and a short, sweet kiss and then Ryan helped Janna from the couch.

-7-

As they drove to Ryan's house, she and Janna talked about the neighboring homes, Ryan pointing out and explaining various renovations that she was familiar with. As Ryan slowed the truck in front of a beautiful home, Janna gasped, "Ryan, is this yours?" It was a somewhat smaller Victorian than Janna's, a two-story with gingerbread siding and a cupola. The color scheme was a very attractive brown with trim done in green and red.

Ryan smiled with pride and said, "Yep. I've been here for over two years and I'm still not quite finished with it." Pointing to the house, she added, "Those are the original colors, as nearly as I could match them."

"It's absolutely beautiful Ryan. I'm very impressed." Janna offered Ryan an unabashed adoring gaze and Ryan had to look down to hide her embarrassment. Looking back at Janna, she quietly said, "Thanks Janna."

Ryan pulled her hunter green Explorer into the driveway and helped Janna out. They made their way up the front walk hand-in-hand, Janna admiring the tidy yard and home. The front door sported a beautiful stained glass window depicting a sun and moon design, using colors that matched those of the house itself. "Oh Ryan", she exclaimed. "That window is gorgeous! Maybe I should do something like that with my door."

"Sure", Ryan beamed. "The artisan is a friend of mine. I'll give you her name if you'd like."

"I would, thanks."

Ryan opened the front door and ushered her friend inside ahead of her, placing her keys in a dish on a small table just inside. The front door opened into a hallway and Ryan led Janna through a doorway to the right, saying, "I'll just be a few minutes. You can wait here in the sitting room if you'd like. I'm afraid I don't have time to show you around right now." Then displaying the charming smile that Janna just could not get enough of, she said, "For some reason I'm in need of cold shower." As Janna blushed, Ryan's grin grew wider and she disappeared out the doorway and down the hall.

Janna thought, Ok, but I'd rather go with you and watch you shower. As she made herself comfortable on a cotton-covered sofa of country blue, she glanced around the bright, cheery room. It appeared to be used mainly for reading as there were several bookshelves utterly overflowing with books and several comfortable chairs, in addition to the sofa. Janna noticed that Ryan's taste in reading very nearly paralleled hers, with the addition of many books on criminal justice and police science, as well as a number of sports titles. Janna noticed the current issue of "The Advocate" sitting on the coffee table and glanced through it as she waited for Ryan to reappear.

Ryan made her reappearance only about ten minutes later, running a towel through her still wet, dark locks. Janna stood and admired the vision before her. Ryan was dressed in a dark green uniform of shorts and shirt, which read, "Bob's Shell" on the front. She wore matching wristbands and white leg guards, which were at the moment resting casually around her ankles. She looked up from under the towel, and seeing Janna's unabashed stare, grinned widely, tossed the towel onto the back of the couch and opened her arms. Janna fell into the embrace and Ryan hugged her tightly. "You sure you feel up to this?" she said after kissing Janna's head.

Janna smiled just as widely and answered, "Absolutely. Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

To which Ryan replied, "It's not that big a deal Janna, just a regular game."

Janna placed her good hand on her left hip mock-indignantly and demanded, "Oh yeah? Tell me Coach, what division is your team in?"

Embarrassed, Ryan replied modestly, "A".

"Just as I thought. A highly competitive regular game! And probably as good as women's softball gets, short of college and pro teams. Am I right?"

The self-conscious reply was, "I guess so, yeah." Then, recovering quickly, she grinned crookedly and said, "You know you look really, really scary, what with your arm in that sling and all. Don't hurt me, please!"

Janna scowled playfully and replied, "Oh you! You'd better watch it woman or I will hurt you! I'll hurt you but good!"

Ryan suddenly scooped Janna into her arms and asked, "Make that a promise, will ya'?"

Meeting Ryan's sparkling eyes, Janna's face broke into a radiant grin and she said sincerely, "I promise."

Ryan pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much Janna."

Janna's breath suddenly caught and her heart began to pound as tears sprang to her eyes. She whispered hotly into Ryan's ear, "I love you too Ryan. More than I can possibly express with words."

They pulled apart slightly, still holding each other, and green eyes met blue for another timeless moment before they came together for a passionate kiss. Ryan ended the kiss and as they gazed at each other again proclaimed, "At this rate I'll never make it to the game! Come on love." She led a grinning, slightly discombobulated Janna by the hand toward the door, picking up an athletic bag and her car keys on the way.

As they made their way to the truck hand in hand, they both shared the same thought: She loves me!

~~~~~~~~~~

The two almost-lovers made it to the ballpark just in time for Ryan to warm up. On the short ride to the softball complex they both had admired the beautiful sky in the west. The sun, intensely orange behind thin lines of bluish clouds, was beginning its final descent and had painted the sky in a brilliant palette of oranges and reds. Janna remarked, "It's ironic, isn't it, that the dirtier the air is, the more beautiful the sunset?"

"Mmm, I've thought the same thing, yes" agreed Ryan, and quietly admired the wash of color on Janna's peaceful face as she watched the sky before her in awe. Ryan pulled into the lot at the park and they walked in side-by-side, arms touching, both filled with a bubbly joy just from being in each other's presence.

Janna sat next to Ryan on the bleachers as she put on her cleats. Noticing her pitcher's arrival, a stout older woman approached and said, "Jesus Ry, cuttin' it a little close tonight weren't you? We were startin' to worry."

Glancing up with a small grin, the cop replied, "Relax Sharon, how many times have I let you down?"

Sharon replied over her shoulder as she returned to the dugout, "Well, never, but there's a first time for everything you know."

With that, Ryan ducked her head and glanced sideways at Janna and they smirked in unison. "Ok", said Ryan, standing and resting her hand on Janna's shoulder. "I'll see you later."

Janna reached up and squeezed Ryan's hand on her shoulder and quietly said, "Later, love. Have a good game!"

"How could I not?" came the jaunty reply. "I've got you here." With that she turned and made her way down to the warm up area, feeling Janna's smiling, loving gaze following her the whole way. I have never been so much in love in my life. I hope I never let her down.

As Ryan passed her dugout, Janna could hear laughing voices: apparently her teammates were kidding Ryan good-naturedly. A that point Ryan turned slightly and looked back at Janna, then turned back toward her teammates and grinned rakishly at the women on the bench, who erupted once again, some displaying the thumbs up sign to their teammate. Oh boy, thought Janna...I guess we're officially an item.

After fully warming up, Ryan returned to the dugout, but not before sparing a quick glance at her friend in the bleachers, who was, of course, also looking at her. They shared a quick, loving smile and both women's hearts warmed in unison, their bond strengthening another fraction.

It was still several minutes before game time when Ryan sat on the team's bench. As she watched Ryan sit down with her teammates, Janna felt someone arrive and sit down next to her. She turned to see who it was as she heard, "Hi there! It looks like you're feeling better!" and looked up into the face of Ryan's partner, John.

Janna replied, "Hi. Yes, I am. Good to see you again Officer Stewart."

"Good to see you too Miss Norden. But, call me John, please" smiled the friendly man.

"Ok, John, and please call me Janna."

"Will do Janna. So, are you a softball fan?" he inquired.

"Yes, and a player too. I had hoped to get on a team soon but I've had a damper put on those plans, I'm afraid" she replied good-naturedly. She casually added, "I mentioned to Ryan that I'm on the lookout for a team that needs subs, so she invited me out." Janna decided to offer the information, not being at all sure whether or not Ryan wanted her partner to know about their relationship.

"Well, you're in for a treat. Ryan's an awesome pitcher. Some teams can barely hit her at all", he added with pride. He glanced past Janna to his left where a commotion in the dugout had caught his attention. They both heard raucous voices and phrases like, "Ooh, baby!", "Nice babe!", "Good going Ry!", "You dog!" as her teammates looked toward Janna. Ryan was sitting on the bench, head tilted back against the chain link fence, trying unsuccessfully to cover her beet-red face with her arms, as her teammates taunted her mercilessly about her new girlfriend. John looked at Janna with a confused grin, which slowly became a huge smile as she blushed.

"You and Ryan?" he asked incredulously. Janna nodded weakly, feeling about two inches tall. Then John said, "That is so great! She deserves someone nice, she really does. After that last bitch, pardon my French, I was really worried about her for awhile. What a friggin' user." He shook his head in disgust.

Janna's brow furrowed in concern and she nodded. John went on, "Well, why don't you go over there and throw it right back in their faces?" His grin continued as Janna looked at him in shock.

"What?"

"I mean it. Look at how they're embarrassing her. Go plant a big one on her. Show them that she really is the stud they're making her out to be. She never brings girls out here, that's why they're doing it. I'll betcha they shut up real quick."

Janna looked doubtful but John encouraged, "Look, she's the best looking woman out here and no one has ever gotten anywhere with her - and believe me, many have tried. They're all jealous of you. Go on. I know my partner - she'll enjoy it."

Still not entirely convinced, but somehow excited by the prospect, Janna got up, adopted some of her old punk attitude and sauntered over to the dugout, eyes riveted on her quarry. As she approached, the clamor of voices died to a murmur and Ryan glanced up at her.

Janna leaned down seductively in front of her, her tank top revealing her lovely assets to Ryan, and said, "Baby, have a great game. I'll be waiting for you." Then she bestowed an intense kiss on her partner, as her teammates looked on, mouths gaping open. Ryan returned the kiss hungrily, proving John right. Janna then stood up, turned on her heal, looked back over her shoulder and said, "Bye now!"

As she sauntered back to her seat, Ryan's teammates looked from her to Ryan and back again, some shaking their heads, most smiling. Ryan sported the biggest smile of all and looked exceptionally pleased with herself.

As Janna sat down, John said, "See, I told you!"

Janna grinned, shaking her head in disbelief as she patted him on the back and watched her partner saunter out to the field. The partner whose pitching, by the way, blew the other team away that night.

~~~~~~~~~~

The game went very well for the Bob's Shell ladies. Ryan pitched a 3-hit shutout and helped her team to score five runs by singling twice and tripling, rounding the bases twice. The players were now lounging in the bleachers, congratulating each other and visiting, Ryan with her arm draped casually around Janna's waist.

Janna listened to the friendly banter with half an ear as she recalled the vision of her beautiful partner out on the field. She had pitched with a single-minded focus that was truly inspiring to behold and her poise and grace were unmatched by anyone else on the field (in Janna's estimation at least). And then there was her base running. My God, she was poetry in motion. Janna smiled warmly as she recalled Ryan's natural, long, loping stride and how her leg muscles rippled and flexed as she ran.

She was pulled from her reverie by the sound of Ryan's voice warmly asking, "What are you smiling at?"

Janna returned the warm smile and replied, "Just remembering something beautiful." As Ryan cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head in question, she said, "I'll tell you later." She received a warm squeeze in reply.

As they sat together, enjoying each other's company, one of Ryan's teammates finally spoke up and said, "So Ry, are you going to introduce us to your friend or what?"

Grinning, Ryan answered, "Yes, Carrie. Ladies, though I use that term loosely for some of you, this is my friend, Janna Norden. Janna, meet Carrie, Liz, Sarah, Jackie, Elaine and our slave driver, Sharon."

As greetings were exchanged one of the girls asked Janna if she had known Ryan long. She replied that she and Ryan had gone to school together but had only just recently become closer. Ryan smiled approvingly and thought, Good girl!

When asked about her injuries, Ryan became serious and quietly said, "I'm afraid she was the victim of a gay bashing the other night after leaving the Rainbow."

"Fuckin' Christ!" gasped Carrie, amid other exclamations of disbelief from the rest of the group.

"I'm afraid it's true. Luckily for my friends and me, Ryan and John were on duty. They caught and arrested two of the guys."

"I hope you guys beat the shit out of them", this from Liz, looking pointedly at John and Ryan.

Ryan smirked, replying, "No, but I took my time turning in the report. They're cooling their asses in County lockup all weekend - couldn't get a bail hearing set until Monday, maybe Tuesday."

"Thank God for that. Assholes." Responded Sharon disgustedly.

Another player, Jackie, asked, "Hey, aren't you the guitar player that got up and played with the band there Thursday night?"

Janna nodded, "Yeah, you were there too?"

"Oh, yeah, my partner and I were there. You were awesome girl!"

Janna grinned, "Thanks. It was fun." Glancing at Ryan, she noted raised eyebrows, looking impressed.

Jackie, continued, "And you were attacked that night? Shit, there were a lot of people there too. I never heard anything about it. Was it in the paper guys?" she asked, looking around at her friends.

"Well it happened over by the brewpub where we were parked. I didn't even think about it being in the paper - would it have been Ryan?"

Ryan shook her head, "I don't know. The department likes to be careful with these cases, I think not wanting to publicize them too much in the fear that it will give other creeps the same idea. They may not have released the information yet. If it goes to trial though, it will definitely become public."

Liz spoke up, "Well maybe we should make it public. Let people know, if only to warn the GLBT community."

Sarah added, "Yeah, can we at least get in touch with our advocacy and support groups and tell our friends?"

Janna nodded and responded, "Oh, whatever you want to do is fine with me. I'm a long-time activist, and I'm used to getting down and dirty and fighting about these things. I'll be glad to cooperate with anyone who wants to do something about this."

Ryan tempered the discussion by saying, "It's great to want to make something good happen from this guys, but lets remember where we are, huh? Our community doesn't have a whole lot of support from the community at large and it could backlash on us." Looking at Janna apologetically and giving her a squeeze, she gently added, "Remember, babe, this isn't the City anymore."

Janna nodded, "You're right. We do need to keep that in mind. But I want to do something. At the very least we need to get the word out to our friends. Remember, two of the jerks got away." Then looking thoughtful, she added, "You know, my Mom goes to a pretty liberal Methodist church that recently voted to welcome gays to the congregation, maybe we could start with them."

The idea was greeted with a chorus of, "Yeahs" and nodded heads and Janna received a look of approval and a nod from Ryan.

Carrie then added, "Yeah and my partner and I are members of the Unitarian Church up the street... I think half the congregation is gay...I'll let them know too."

As the friends sat discussing the incident further, a men's team arrived at the diamond to prepare for their game.

Carrie, spying them approaching, said, "Heads up guys, here comes Jake's Bait."

The women all became wary and started to pick up their stuff and to leave when one of the guys was heard to say with a sneer as he walked by, "Oh, Jesus, we get to have the lezzy bench again. Someone grab a towel and wipe it down before we sit will ya?"

Carrie replied mockingly, "Just use your tongue Roy, you know you want to." He flipped her off as her teammates laughed and she gave him a parting, "Fuck you". Carrie looked pointedly at her teammates and asked, "How'd we get so lucky to be on the same schedule as those dickheads. Most homophobic team in the league."

Most of the guys moved off to the dugout, but one, upon seeing Janna, wandered over and stood a little too closely and leered at her, saying, "Hey baby, what's a cute little thing like you doing hanging around with these mean old dykes?"

Before Janna could respond, her partner was on her feet in a flash, standing in front of the guy and tensed like a coiled spring. With waves of anger emanating palpably from her body, she said in a calm, but menacing voice, "Back off buddy before I arrest your sorry ass for harassment."

The guy immediately held his hands up and backed away, though more from the implied threat of violence than from the danger of arrest.

Ryan watched the men leave and then sat back down next to Janna. Her face was an unreadable mask, but her fists clenching at her sides revealed the anger coursing through her. Janna, sensing her partner's disquiet, lightly touched her arm and said, "Thank you, Ryan. It's over now and I'm fine, so let's go home."

"Yeah, let's", came the forced reply.

Among the group of guys watching the confrontation were two who, upon seeing Ryan, quickly turned and ducked away, one of them saying to the other, "Whoa, shit, it's that cop from the other night."

They quickly went around behind the bleachers where Ryan and Janna were sitting and watched as the women got up to leave. When it was safe to do so, they reemerged, the other man saying, "Yep, that's the same dyke who arrested Joe and Brian the other night. I think Joe will be interested to know that we saw them here. When he gets out of the can, that is. Looks like she's hooked up with the cute blonde too."

As they walked out of the complex with their friends, Ryan declined their invitation to go out for pizza and beer, citing Janna's need for rest. As they arrived at the truck and sat down, Ryan said apologetically, "Janna, I'm sorry if you wanted to go out, but I'm not really in the mood for it right now."

Realizing that her friend was struggling with her emotions, Janna replied, "It's okay, honey. I really am too tired and my head is starting to throb again. I'd just like to go home and go to bed."

During the drive to Janna's, Ryan was very quiet. Janna glanced at her, concern written on her face. She gently touched Ryan's thigh and said, "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Yes, I would, but not right now, okay?" She glanced hopefully at Jana and smiled weakly.

"Sure, whenever you're ready, Ryan." She rubbed her friend's thigh again tenderly.

Ryan glanced down and covered Janna's hand with hers saying, "I appreciate that. Thank you Janna."

-8-

Ryan stood just inside Janna's front door, not wanting to leave, but realizing that her friend needed to get some rest. She pulled Janna into an embrace and said, "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Then suggested hopefully, "Maybe we can lounge around all day again."

Janna grinned and answered, "Yes, I'd like that." She stood on her toes and captured Ryan's lips for a long kiss before they parted reluctantly.

"Okay, bye" said Ryan regretfully.

"Bye love. See you tomorrow."

Ryan sat in her Explorer and watched Janna's house until she saw the lights in the front room go out, and then she drove home to her quiet house.

Ryan shifted uncomfortably in her bed, staring at the off-white ceiling of her bedroom. Moonlight filtered in, giving the room outside the range of her small reading lamp an eerie, yet comforting, glow. A book sat next to her, forgotten. It was after midnight but she was unable to sleep.

The evening's events had left her feeling very unsettled. She had never reacted to a situation with such anger before. Even though she had seen many, many terrible acts of violence and stupidity, none had affected her so much as seeing Janna in possible danger again. Not even the senseless acts of violence against children that she had witnessed had angered her more. She had learned to steel herself against such acts in order to do her job. She had always focused her anger on doing everything within her power to catch the perpetrator.

But she couldn't steel herself against seeing Janna hurt or threatened. She had no protection from that. She had nearly throttled the stupid, arrogant prick tonight. The barely controlled rage and the violence that lay just under the surface terrified her now. She knew without a doubt that she could have killed that man tonight with her bare hands.

In addition to that restlessness, she felt a disturbing emptiness at Janna's absence and couldn't get the little blonde out of her mind. She ached, both physically and emotionally, to be with her. Physically, there was that dull ache in her chest that she associated with missing Janna and had never experienced with anyone else before. I'm filled with her. I need her.

Suddenly, the phone ringing startled her out of her thoughts. Checking the Caller ID, she noted Janna's number. She sat up and frowned as she answered in a worried voice, "Janna, what's wrong?"

"Hi. How did you know it was me?" came the confused voice.

"Caller ID", was the matter of fact response.

"Oh, I don't have that yet. That's pretty cool" Janna stalled.

"And? Are you okay? Do you need something?" Ryan asked, her voice still full of concern.

"Oh, no. I mean yes. I'm okay." Then meekly added, "I um, I just needed to hear your voice. I hope I didn't wake you."

Relieved that Janna was all right, Ryan relaxed and sighed. "God, I needed to hear your voice too. I'm not sleeping either." With confusion, she blurted, "Janna, I have the most uncomfortable feeling in my chest when we're apart. It's an actual ache. Does that sound crazy? Am I just imagining it because I miss you?"

"No hon. It's real. I feel it too. It's because of our link, I think. I've never experienced this before but I've read about it." After a moment she added, "What we have, some call a 'heart link'. There is an actual cord of energy linking us at our heart centers. Soulmates can often feel what their partner is feeling, physically and emotionally, and physical separation can be painful."

"Well, I've never really believed in those things Janna, but what you just said makes sense to me." She shifted back onto her back. "Is there anything that can be done about it?"

Janna smiled into the phone and said, "Short of never being apart you mean?"

"Yeah, but that sounds like a doable plan, actually."

Janna grinned and blushed, despite the fact that she was alone in her bedroom, and the pain in her heart lessened a little. "Yes, I think it's a good plan too. But since we're not together right now, I think there is something I can do to help you."

Ryan grinned her patented rakish grin and said, "You mean phone sex?"

Janna giggled, "No silly!" She sat up, crossing her legs and continued, "Where are you?"

"In bed...in my bedroom...in my house" she carefully reported.

"Great, smart-ass. Do you want some relief or not?" came the teasing reply.

Ryan grinned and said with her deepest, most alluring voice, "Oh, yes, baby...please...give me some relief."

"You know, Jay Jay may have been on the right track when he asked me what I will do with you. You can be a complete pain in the ass, did you know that?" Then she softened her voice and added, "You're just lucky I have no choice in the matter and love you so damn much."

Ryan suddenly became serious, realizing that she was, in fact, very lucky. "I'm sorry Janna. Yes, I am very lucky. What did you want me to do?"

Mollified, Janna began, "Okay. I've had some success as a healer - now don't laugh!"

Ryan interjected, "Honey, I have no intention of laughing at you. I know that you're sincere in your beliefs. Please, go on."

"Okay. I use an ancient Tibetan healing technique called Reiki. Some good friends of mine who are master healers trained me. I've actually had some real success with healing different ailments. I can send healing energy to you that will help to balance you and soothe the ache."

"You mean you can send it through our link?"

"No, though our link should definitely intensify it. I do a little ritual with the healing symbols and then send the energy to you. It is part of the Universal Consciousness and will know where to go and what to do, although I do guide it somewhat."

"Sounds cool love. I'm game", Ryan said sincerely.

Janna was heartened beyond belief. I do believe that I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with this woman. She sighed and began, "Okay, is the room dark?"

Ryan reached to the bedside table and switched off the small lamp. "It is now."

In a soothing voice, Janna said, "Okay, lie comfortably on your back and let yourself become completely relaxed."

Ryan did so after placing the phone on the pillow next to her ear. The room, now bathed in a comforting moonlight, helped her to relax.

Janna gave her a few moments, and then she continued, "I'm going to visualize the symbols now and start sending the energy. Just relax." With that she set the phone down and took a moment to center herself. She then drew each of the four healing symbols in the air before her. Then, holding her hands in front of her, palms out, she directed the energy out through her palms and into Ryan's heart chakra. She visualized Ryan lying in her bed asked the Reiki to heal and balance her.

Ryan lay on her bed, surprised at her own open-mindedness: she actually believed that Janna could do this. She lay calmly, not knowing what to expect, but trusting in her new partner. After a few moments she thought that she felt a comfortable warmth in her chest. Soon, the warmth became more distinct and was accompanied by a pleasant tingling sensation. The warm tingling slowly, gently, filled her heart center and then expanded, suffusing her entire being with an intense feeling of love. After several minutes she began to feel giddy and a laugh bubbled happily up from her belly.

From the nearby phone, Janna heard Ryan's laugh and smiled. Picking up the phone she said, "Tell me what you feel."

Ryan chuckled happily, "Janna this is incredible! I started feeling really warm and tingly and then I was filled with a feeling of love that was so incredible that it made me laugh. Sweetheart, this is better than a drug! You ought to be selling it."

Janna smiled warmly, her heart soaring. She said, "Honey, what you're feeling is my love for you and I have no desire to sell that. Our bond is intensifying the Reiki. Normally people just feel warm and/or tingling, or sometimes cold, though it can cause an emotional release too. I'm so glad you like it. Is the pain gone?"

"Oh, yeah, completely!"

"Super! Just lie there and enjoy it for a bit. I'll wait." Janna stretched out on her bed and relaxed, also enjoying the moonlight suffusing her room. She silently thanked Luna, the moon spirit, and then closed her eyes and visualized something else.

A few minutes later she heard an uncertain voice say, "Um Janna, are you directing the energy to another place now?"

Janna grinned slyly and replied, "Possibly. Where are you feeling it?"

"My breasts and ... oh, uh, Janna..."

"Mmm, hmm?"

"This feels waaaay too good honey" she drawled.

"Okay...we'll save this for some time when we're together then. Now what do you feel, love?"

A great, jolly laugh answered for Ryan and Janna's face became radiant. Ryan recovered somewhat and said, "Oh, sweetheart, message received. I love you too! Here, I'll try to send my love back to you."

As Ryan furrowed her brow in concentration, Janna waited a moment and then felt a soft, sweet feeling of love wrap around her heart. She exclaimed, "Wonderful love, I feel it!"

"Oh baby, thank you. This is so great!" Ryan beamed but then her eyes closed involuntarily and she yawned.

Janna heard it and said, "Okay, love, we should both be able to sleep now. I love you Ryan."

"I love you Janna, sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, love, night."

"Good night." With that, and despite their physical separation, two extremely contented partners spent the rest of the short night sleeping soundly and having sweet dreams.

-9-

At 7:00 the next morning, the buzzing of her doorbell downstairs roused Janna. Who the hell? she thought, confused. She padded sleepily to the door, clad only in an oversized Pansy Division t-shirt that hung halfway down her thighs, and peered through the peephole. A smile lit her face as a large blue eye through the glass greeted her. She pulled the door open and welcomed Ryan into her arms. "Honey, what are you doing here so early?"

Ryan returned the embrace and kissed Janna sweetly then said sheepishly, "I missed you."

Janna smiled tiredly and said, "I missed you too, honey, but don't you sleep?"

"Not all that well without you" came the honest reply. It was true. Ryan, normally a very light and fitful sleeper at best, had enjoyed her deepest sleep in ages while napping with Janna the last several days. Ryan peered closely at Janna's arm and exclaimed, "Hey, where's your sling?"

"I didn't need it last night. All that Reiki flowing through me seemed to speed the healing along. Come on", she said, grabbing Ryan's hand and pulling her toward the bedroom. "We're going back to bed. I need a lot more than five hours sleep."

Ryan grinned crookedly, eyes twinkling, "Ah, I see. Not a morning person, huh?"

"Absofrigginlutley not" came the gruff reply. They entered the bedroom and she pushed Ryan, who was clad in a blue t-shirt stamped, "POLICE" in bold yellow letters, and biking shorts, toward the bed.

As Janna climbed into bed, Ryan stood at the foot looking uncertain. "Are you sure about this Janna?"

"Yes, come on" came the certain reply.

With a grin similar to that of a kid in a candy store, Ryan deftly stripped her t-shirt off over her head, leaving her clad only in her sports bra and shorts, and kicked off her sandals. She would have been an incredibly alluring sight had Janna's eyes been open. Ryan climbed into the bed next to Janna, who immediately snuggled up against her. Janna lay on her uninjured left side, head resting in the crook of Ryan's shoulder, arm about her waist. Ryan circled her arm around Janna and pulled her close. The small blonde was asleep again before Ryan could say, "Sweet dreams."

Several hours later, as the sun streaked in through partially opened blinds, Ryan awakened, confused. As comprehension as to her whereabouts dawned, she realized also that Janna was sprawled mostly on top of her, her head now resting between Ryan's breasts. In her sleep, Janna's t-shirt had hiked up, revealing a luscious naked behind. As if that weren't enough to arouse Ryan's desire, she also realized, rather quickly, that she felt soft, damp curls against her thigh. She swallowed convulsively as an involuntary shudder ran through her. At this, Janna stirred, shifting slightly and pushing more firmly against the center between Ryan's legs. Ryan's breath caught and she couldn't stifle a low moan. Janna opened one eye sleepily and smiled up at Ryan, then realized in what position she lay, and it was her turn to shudder and try to catch her breath.

As she gazed up at Ryan, Janna had been absentmindedly stroking the skin above Ryan's taut abdomen with her thumb. Ryan calmly reached down and covered it with her hand, stopping the movement. Her blue eyes were dark with desire as she gazed at Janna. Janna brought her hand out from under Ryan's and covered a breast, gently caressing it through the material of the bra. Ryan closed her eyes and moaned softly. Before she could open her eyes again, Janna had bent her head to Ryan's other breast, kissing it softly through the thin material. Ryan gasped as her eyes flew open. In a voice thick with desire she said, "Are you sure about this Janna?"

Janna replied, voice equally thick and breaking slightly, "Yes. Very."

At that Ryan sat up, gently pulling Janna upright and onto her lap, embracing her tightly. Ryan softly kissed the earlobe next to her lips and then turned her head to find soft lips. They kissed passionately for long minutes, two pairs of hands roaming sensuously, before Ryan ducked her head and nibbled at Janna's soft neck, which arched, allowed greater access. Then Ryan parted slightly from her love and carefully pulled off Janna's t-shirt, revealing the blonde's beautiful, full breasts.

Ryan gasped, "Oh Janna, you are so beautiful!"

Janna smiled and reached for Ryan's bra, using both hands to pull it over her head. Janna gasped as Ryan's lovely breasts were freed, dark nipples erect with pleasure. They embraced, kissing hungrily and Ryan pulled Janna down on top of her, crushing them together.

Their bodies intertwined, beginning a dance of passion that reunited their souls and rekindled a timeless love that they had shared through many lifetimes before. They spent the rest of the day repeating their dance of love, and finally lay together mutually sated as the daylight began to fade.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, after a quick meal and a long, sensual shower together, Ryan and Janna lay in bed in what they now considered "their" position: Ryan on her back, Janna snuggled up against her side, head on Ryan's chest, enveloped in her arms. Between their many lovemaking sessions that day they had lain just like this, completely content, talking and sharing bits and pieces of their lives with each other. They talked of their families, their jobs, their desires, their hopes and fears. Janna related many stories of her life as a rock musician: many funny, some tragic. She had had a wonderful, successful career but it had been fraught with pitfalls and she had lost some very good friends. Ryan had laughed and cried with her, sharing both Janna's joy and her pain.

Ryan became pensive and, coming to a decision, said seriously, "Janna, I need for you to know some things."

Janna kissed the pulse point under her lips and murmured, "Okay. I'm listening."

Ryan bit her lip, wondering how to begin, and then started, "You'll probably hear some things about me from the people I hang around with. Things about my past and old relationships. Um, things I'm not proud of."

Janna interrupted, "Ryan honey, we all have a past. Even though it has helped to shape the person that you are, it has no bearing on how I feel about you. I adore the person that you are right now, today." She sealed her statement with a kiss to Ryan's chin and wrapped her arm more tightly around her waist.

"I agree with you, Janna, and I feel the same way about you and your past, but I need to be honest with you. I believe in complete honesty."

"So do I honey, go ahead then. You share, and then I will."

Ryan cleared her throat and began. "I'll tell you the whole sordid tale now so I'll never have to repeat it." She took a breath and began, "Ok, during my first few years on the force, I saw some really bad things...some truly horrifying things. I had a hard time, then, distancing myself from the job and not bringing that pain home. So, after a really bad day I would end up in a bar - sometimes at the Rainbow, sometimes at one of the cop bars. I would drink heavily and almost never left alone.

Those women meant nothing to me. It was just sex, and I always left before morning. In my first five years or so on the force I had three committed relationships that each lasted less than six months and numerous one night stands. While in a relationship I was monogamous, but after breaking up, would fall into the same old pattern. It was unfulfilling and I disliked myself for using the women for sex with no intention of forming a relationship with them, but I did it anyway.

Eventually I learned to handle the tough stuff at work better, and didn't try to lose myself in meaningless sex, but I still did some sleeping around." She sheepishly shrugged her shoulders and added, "I was lonely, I guess...unfulfilled.

Then about three years ago I met a woman named Bethany. She worked in public relations for the department. She was beautiful, driven, ruthless and openly bisexual. She loved her reputation as a player and enjoyed the rumors and gossip her conquests created. She also happened to be a favorite niece of the then Police Commissioner, so she held a lot of power and enjoyed controlling people with it. She was a real bitch," Ryan added, shaking her head disgustedly. "I only wish I hadn't been so blind to the fact at the time." Then, with regret clouding her face she added, "Or that I had listened to my friends."
Ryan glanced down at Janna, who had become still in her arms, trying to gauge her reaction. Janna smiled and squeezed Ryan's hand where it lay on her waist, urging her to continue.

"Anyway, to make a long story even longer, for some reason she set her sights on me. Maybe because I had a reputation but generally stayed away from women on the force, I don't know. In retrospect, I think she viewed me as some sort of prize. I had been attracted to her physically but had never asked her out, mainly because I had no problem finding female company when I needed it. Also, I didn't really feel the need to play with her brand of fire. Anyhow, she pursued me and eventually I turned the tables on her and seduced her. It was exciting at first and we both thought we were in love - or so she led me to believe anyway. After dating for a few months, she invited me to move in with her."

Ryan gathered her thoughts for a moment, then continued, "At first I really liked the whole domestic thing. I loved being responsible for someone other than myself. For a while before meeting her I had been pretty tired of the one-night stands, so, when she came along, I felt ready to try another relationship.

A few months after I moved into her place though, I started seeing warning signs of how controlling she was. Little things started adding up, you know?" Janna nodded and Ryan went on. "She would try to control, subversively I now realize, who I saw and what I did, even aspects of my career. All the while, John and other friends tried to get me to see how she really was. But I basically told them they were just jealous and to fuck off." Ryan groaned and shook her head, "Jesus! What an asshole I was. It's a wonder any of them are still my friends."

Ryan cleared her throat and continued the narrative. "Well, when we'd been together for not quite a year, John came to me one day and told me that she was screwing around behind my back, and that he had proof. He said he knew I didn't want to hear it but he cared for me and was gonna tell me the truth, even if it destroyed our partnership.

He said that the Sunday before, he and his wife had been out boating on the Delta with some friends. They had motored way out, to a protected little cove they liked that was halfway to Antioch. He said that as they rounded the cove they came upon another boat already anchored there. Since they were so far into the cove already they had to float pretty close to the other boat before turning, and when they did, they saw two women making out on the deck. They both had their tops off and weren't even all that put out at having been seen, in fact they waved to John's friend at the wheel. John and Sara were in the cabin and couldn't be seen. John said he was sure it was Beth and so was his wife Sara. I called him a liar and he said, 'Fine, but tell me Ry, does she have a big tattoo in the small of her back? And was she home yesterday?' Well, she has a tattoo and she had been away all weekend, supposedly at a conference in the City, so I knew he was probably telling the truth.

When I confronted her about it, she didn't deny it. She was nasty. She laughed and said that in fact, she had had several affairs right under my nose and was ready to move onto better things. She said she was tired of being with a beat cop who didn't aspire to do anything greater."

Ryan's voice sounded bitter as she added, "God, that hurt. Even though I wasn't sure that we had ever really been in love, I had liked coming home to someone instead of to an empty apartment for a change. I moved out that day and she left the department for a better job in L.A. a few months later."

She received a reassuring hug from Janna before finishing, "After that I never wanted to trust anyone again. And I didn't until you came along. I haven't been with anyone except you since then."

Before she could say another word, Janna shifted so that her body was above Ryan's. Looking deeply into Ryan's eyes she said, "I'm so sorry you went through that sweetheart. I know how much it hurts to be betrayed." She continued, caressing Ryan's cheek, "Who you were doesn't bother me Ryan. I love you with all my heart, and I always will." The heartfelt sincerity written in her beautiful features nearly moved Ryan to tears, and Janna leaned down and sealed her promise with a passionate kiss.

When the kiss ended, Janna settled back down into Ryan's arms, and Ryan nuzzled her head with her chin.

"Now it's my turn, I guess" Janna began. "My story isn't nearly as sordid as some might imagine, given my line of work, but there are things I'm not proud of." After receiving a kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze from her lover she continued.
"I've had four previous committed relationships. One was right after I arrived in the city...I was nineteen and it lasted about a year. Another was in Seattle a few years later, with a rock superstar who was up there doing a lot of producing of young dyke bands. We cared for each other deeply, but she was into pretty wild sex...bondage-type stuff...and I just never really got into that. It was more of a turn off than a turn on. She was great about it for a while but I knew our white-bread sex life wasn't fulfilling her, so I ended it. We stayed friends and I still talk to her once in a while...in fact I still love her like a sister. She's an awesome lady, wild and tough on the outside but so warm and sweet on the inside.

Before that there was only mild fooling around. Sex is a very private and intimate act for me and I never wanted to enter into it casually. In my early years in the City though, I would usually drink beer while performing and after a show the combination of the alcohol, the adrenaline rush and the second hand weed smoke would usually have me pretty high and very open to suggestion. There would often be girls waiting for me, wanting to um...for lack of a better term, fuck. I would always tell them that I wouldn't screw them but that they could do whatever they wanted to me. So, we'd make out a little and I'd let them do various things to pleasure me. I never wanted to let it go too far, because I didn't want to use them, but at the same I was usually so wasted that I wasn't in complete control. There were some occasions, I know, where I went all the way with them and had no memory of it later. That I am not proud of.

I gradually grew out of that, mainly through maturity I think, but also because I hated the self- destructiveness of it, and disliked hurting people. But there was this one show. I was in The Tribe and we were starting to hit big...we'd just landed a big national tour. After a pristine show I was my usual sky-high self and this really cute baby butch grabbed me as I left the stage and kissed me hard. I let her drag me to a chair stage-side and she sat me down and straddled my lap. We started making out heavily and before I knew it, she had one of my breasts in her mouth. I was only vaguely aware of a crowd gathered around us, watching, but I was too high and too turned on to care. I quickly turned the tables on her, ripped off her shirt and went at her breasts hungrily. Then I suddenly needed much more so I got up and dragged her backstage. Some of my band mates were using the couch back there for the same sort of activity but I screamed at them to get the fuck off and threw the girl down. We screwed there until we both passed out."

Janna stopped and took a breath adding, "That was a real low point for me but it led to a relationship with the girl. Her name was Jordan and she was an art student ten years younger than I was. We were together for six weeks, until I left on tour. She had wanted to come with me but I wouldn't let her. She was a talented artist and I didn't want her to quit school for me. I ended up leaving a day early without telling her. I knew I was hurting her, but felt it was for her own good...I knew I wasn't ready to settle down. I didn't see her for almost a year. We became friends again later and she's now a successful graphic designer. She's committed to a great lady and they have a baby girl.

While on that tour, I got involved with the new singer, Diana Marshall. She was on her way to becoming huge, it turns out, and would eventually find me hindering her. But before that happened we were pretty happy. It was a very exciting time. Our album was selling well and we were playing incredible venues in great cities, opening for some big names and doing some headlining of our own. It was a very heady experience and we rode it for all it was worth. Diana and I were talking about getting a house together when we got back to the City, and I really thought that she might be "it".

But at the very end of the tour, she was offered a solo contract by a major label, and she dropped us, all of us, so fast, we didn't know what had happened. She left for New York with nothing much more than a, 'Thanks babe, it was fun'. Janna grimaced and swallowed hard, remembering the pain, and Ryan hugged her closer.

"That was the last relationship I was in. I was crushed for a while, emotionally, and just threw myself into my work, including activism work. By that time I was doing more producing and session work than playing with the band and I let them replace me. My heart just wasn't in it after Diana left us. They never did find a singer to fill her shoes and aren't doing much any more. Soon after that I threw myself into my photography. So...that was over a year ago and I haven't been with anyone until you."
She sighed heavily, a load off of her mind and heart and Ryan scooped her closer and wordlessly held her tightly. They then proceeded to spend the rest of the night showing each other just how special and loved they were.

-10-

The next morning, shortly after dawn, Ryan awakened and stretched long arms and legs. The movement didn't stir the small beauty sprawled across her body and she thought, Nothing short of an earthquake could possibly rouse Janna this early in the morning! Ryan sighed, filled with a warm sense of peace as she gazed down at her love, who was bathed in a pinkish gray light. She's so damned cute when she sleeps...hell, she's just plain damned cute. She closed her eyes again and pulled Janna up closer to her, deciding uncharacteristically to catch a little more sleep herself.

A few hours later she herself was roused from sleep as Janna stirred. Peeking one eye open, she saw bright green eyes gazing at her. "Morning, " Janna said with a smile.

"Morning baby. What time is it" Ryan asked groggily, yawning.

Janna turned to glance at the bedside alarm clock. "8:30" she replied.

"Jesus, why do I do that when I'm with you?" Ryan asked, scowling.

"Is there something else you would rather be doing?"

"Oh no, absolutely not." She gathered Janna more tightly to herself and kissed her head, proving her point. "It's just that normally on Sundays I go to the gym at the station to work out at 7:00."

"In the morning?" came the disbelieving response.

"Yeah. I also stay late on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work out."

"After being on a bike for eight hours? Jesus, you're not quite human, are you?"

A rich laugh erupted from Ryan's chest and she squeezed Janna lovingly again. "Maybe not" she agreed.

Almost afraid to ask, Janna said, "So, are you going to go work out now?"

"Nope. In fact, I'm not budging from this spot for quite a while yet." Ryan grinned as Janna let out her held breath.

"Cool!" came the reply as she turned in Ryan's embrace and their lips met.

Some time later, they lay languorously together, enjoying a bath in the large whirlpool tub. Janna sat back against Ryan's chest in what had become another of their favorite positions. As she gently caressed Janna's arms, which rested on her long legs, Ryan asked, "Honey, I'm curious, why do you have such an interest in Native American art?"

Janna sighed, "Mmm, that's feels so nice. Because my Mom's Dad was part Cherokee. Even though we're just barely blooded, I was brought up with many Native American ideals and I've always been proud of that part of my heritage. He didn't teach me a lot of religion or ritual - we were Christian - but he instilled in me a love of and respect for the Earth and for animals."

Ryan nodded as she kissed Janna's neck, eliciting a moan from her partner. "So, that's where you get your green eyes from, huh?" She grinned and kissed the other side of Janna's neck.

"Oh, yeah, right" Janna said as she slapped playfully at her lover's leg. "Those I get from my Irish and Scandinavian Dad."

Ryan grinned again and responded teasingly, "Oh, okay. That makes sense. I'd sure love to know how I got my blue eyes though, seeing as how I'm one quarter Comanche."

"You are?" came the incredulous reply.

"Yep. What's wrong, don't I look it?

"Oh, you do actually. I guess with a name like 'Zamora' I figured you were part Hispanic."

"I am, some, but I have more Comanche blood than anything else. My mother was Irish and Greek, my Dad Comanche, with some Navajo and Mexican."

"So, honey, how do you explain your blue eyes? I thought that brown eyes were supposed to be a dominant genetic trait or something, and Native Americans generally have brown eyes."

"That's true. But my father and a long line of our Native ancestors before him were reported to have these eyes. Some weird genetic screw-up, I guess." She shrugged, her breasts softly caressing Janna's back.

"Oh, don't do that to me" Janna sighed. "Not unless you're prepared to do a whole lot more."

Ryan responded sensuously, "What? You mean something like this?" As she spoke, she moved one hand from Janna's waist up to a breast, caressing it softly.

"Oh, God, yes, that's exactly what I mean" gasped Janna, arching back into Ryan and covering the large hand with hers. This only served to encourage Ryan and she moved her other hand to points farther south, caressing Janna tenderly and eliciting more panting and moaning. Soon Janna's cries of pleasure mingled with the quiet hum of the whirlpool's jets, soon to be replaced by similar sounds from Ryan.

It was quite some time before their bath ended.

~~~~~~~~~~

As they sat eating a brunch of scrambled eggs, waffles and bacon, Janna said, "So, what do you have planned for today?"

Ryan took another sip of coffee and replied, "Well, I have a Peace Officers League game at 3:00. Until then I can hang around here if you want."

Janna smiled, "Oh, I want."

Ryan returned the smile and said, "Sounds like a plan then. Though, after the game I really need to go home and do some laundry. For some reason I didn't manage to get it done yesterday," she added as she caressed Janna's hand and smiled.

"Oh, imagine that!" Janna giggled. "I know...I have a big pile of it to do too." She added with a groan, "Not my favorite chore."

"Well, how about I help you with yours and then you help me with mine later?" Ryan suggested with a smile.

"Sounds great, love. It'll be nice to have some help for a change."

"Yep, it's one of the nice things about cohabitating."

Janna stopped chewing her waffle, swallowed and said, "Ryan, are you thinking about some kind of permanence here?"
"I do want to think about it, yeah, Janna. Lets face it, it's god damned hard being apart, isn't it?"

Janna nodded.

Ryan continued, "We probably shouldn't rush into it, but I would like to talk about it. I know one thing: I don't care to spend another night apart from you."

Janna grabbed her hand and gazed at her seriously, love written all over her face, "Then we won't, okay?"

"Okay" replied Ryan with a quiet smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was early afternoon and Ryan stood looking out the French doors into the backyard as she folded a towel. "Janna, who's doing your landscape design?"

"Dave's, why?" came the reply from the nearby laundry room.

"I like the design. The curve of the deck leads your eye right along to that perennial flowerbed. Its very well done," she said, returning to grab another towel.

"Yes, I think so too. I think it's turning out beautifully. They've managed to capture my vision for the yard almost perfectly. I can't wait until they get the hot tub and gazebo in."

Apparently, judging by Ryan's reaction, the phrase "hot tub and gazebo" held some sort of magical power. She dropped what she was folding and sauntered over to her lover with a silly grin on her face, wrapping her arms around her from behind and nuzzling her neck. "Did you say 'hot tub and gazebo'?" she mumbled into Janna's neck.

Janna grinned as she wrapped her arms over Ryan's and replied, "Yes. Shall I take it that you approve of the plan?"

"Oh, yeah" she grinned, kissing Janna's neck. "You have great taste."

Janna turned into Ryan's embrace and met her gaze, "I know that. Just look at my girlfriend."

Ryan kissed her deeply and then nuzzled her hair, "I want to be a lot more than just your girlfriend Janna."

"You already are love."

The rest of the laundry sat unfolded until later.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan's Peace Officer game was at the huge, modern softball complex south of town. As she drove along the highway that cut between furrowed fields of corn, tomatoes and peppers, Ryan glanced at Janna and asked, "So, you played with the band at the Rainbow the other night?"

Janna turned to Ryan, her Ray Bans mirroring Ryan's similarly bespectacled face, grinned and said, "Yeah, Doug told them who I was and they asked me to join them. I had a great time...although, I really am glad that I'm 'retired'. Those few songs were plenty."

"Think you'll do it again sometime? I'd like to see you play."

"Sure, I guess I could. I plan to keep in touch with that band, help them out if I can. Um, I have videos of some concerts you can watch too."

"Yeah, I'd like that if you don't mind."

"Nope. It's what I did and I had a great time while I did it. I was pretty wild then, just so you know." Janna returned to watching the countryside pass by.

"Oh I think I can handle your wild side", delivered with her rakish grin. "You certainly do handle mine."

Janna smiled into her reflection in the window and marveled, yet again, at how warm, happy and loved this incredible woman made her feel. Her thoughts mirrored Ryan's exactly as the cop drove on down the highway.

Ryan pulled the truck into the complex and Janna exclaimed, "Wow! Look at this place. What does it have six diamonds? Eight?"

"Eight" came the reply. "This complex is only about a year old. It's a great place to play. Sunken dugouts, bullpens, crushed brick infields. Very nice."

"Yeah, sounds cool. Does the City League use it?"

"Yeah, for the higher divisions and for tournaments. It's actually a County facility" Ryan replied, parking the truck and then glancing at Janna.

"Great. I'd like to get a chance to play here." She looked happily at Ryan.

Ryan returned the happy grin and replied, "Well, let's get that arm healed and sign you up then! Speaking of which", she added, eyes twinkling as she lifted her athletic bag from the back seat, "I had a thought. Do you think you'd like to give 'A' division a try"?

Janna looked surprised. "Whoa, I don't know. I've never played at that level and I haven't played competitively in years. I don't know if I can cut it", she responded, a frown marking her pretty features.

"Well, how'd you like a personal coach and trainer to help you get back into shape?" Ryan's sparkling grin dazzled Janna as they walked towards the fields. Spotting her team up ahead warming up, she steered them in that direction.

"Hmm, would this trainer happen to be tall, dark and gorgeous?" grinned Janna.

"Well...tall maybe" came the self-deprecating reply.

"And dark, and gorgeous. Believe me, love. Yeah, I'd love some personal attention like that from you. In addition, of course, to the personal attention that you're already showing me" she clarified.

"Oh, of course", laughed Ryan as they arrived at a bleacher area. "The reason I'm asking is that our second baseman, Linda, is leaving in two weeks on sabbatical and we'll need a replacement for her for the rest of the season."

"Second base huh?" pondered Janna. "Well, I did use to turn a mean double play" she added with a grin.

"I'll bet you did!" Ryan wrapped an arm around Janna's shoulder. "Think you can be ready in two weeks?"

"With your help, probably, yeah, but you still don't know how good I am."

"Oh, baby, I certainly do" Ryan leered. She sat down on a bleacher seat and took her shoes out of her bag.

"At softball!"

"Oh, that too!" laughed Ryan as she tied her cleats.

Slapping her lover playfully on the arm, Janna said, "You are so bad!"

"But you love it, don't you?" Ryan asked playfully.

Smiling and shaking her head, Janna replied, "I do. I really do." Then sitting down next to Ryan, added thoughtfully, "Seriously though, I would like to give it a try. But I'd hate to let the team down. I would want your manager to give me a tryout."

"Sure, that'd be fine. Honey, if you don't feel up to that level of play or don't think you're ready, then don't worry about it. I just thought that since you want to play, it would be fun if we could be on the same team."

"Oh, sweetheart, it would be more than fun." She leaned her head on Ryan's shoulder and felt their love passing between them through their link.

"Yep, that it would" Ryan said as she turned and gently brushed a kiss on her love's head. "I've got to go warm up. Enjoy the game."

"You betcha! Have a good one."

Ryan did have a good one, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~

That evening, they sat together on the couch in Janna's family room, watching some of her old concert videos, with beers and popcorn. Though she had never really been a fan of punk rock music, Ryan found herself intensely interested in understanding Janna's love for it. As they watched, Janna deciphered the mostly unintelligible lyrics for her and Ryan was impressed at the social relevance of the songs. With Janna's help she gained an understanding of the punk genre, and even an appreciation for it.

More than anything though, she gained a deeper appreciation of the woman with whom she now wanted to share her life. Janna had written the lyrics for many of the songs and was an incredibly exciting and agile performer on stage. Ryan was most surprised at the wild abandon with which Janna played her instrument. The woman she knew and loved was much more calm and reserved now, except in bed, Ryan thought with a smile. Perhaps it was maturity. Perhaps she was simply not as angry any more. But on stage, she had seemed completely carefree, jumping, cavorting, singing, stage diving, crowd surfing, all the while with a huge smile plastered on her face. She seemed to be truly in love with her craft and the crowds responded to her ecstatically. Most of the videos they were watching tonight were of the most successful band Janna had been a part of, 'The Tribe', an all-woman dyke punk group.

During a break between videos Ryan had admitted to Janna that before watching the tapes, she had had difficulty reconciling the warm, loving woman she knows with the snarling, angry punk that she must have been. But now, she admitted, she understood that Janna's anger had been borne, not of apathy, but of her deep love for humanity. She had been angry at the injustice, the inequality, the selfishness, and the greed which infects humanity, not at humanity itself. She told Janna of her understanding and received a warm hug in return.

Janna then told more of her ex, the rock superstar. Society tends to view her as simply a leather biker chick, or a tattooed dyke, or a hardcore rocker with a bad reputation and a foul mouth who has no redeeming qualities. In reality this woman is one of the warmest, most caring people she had ever met. And one of the most talented. "Joanie loves to say that you can't judge a book by its cover, and she, and I, are perfect examples of that."

As they sat snuggled together, Ryan thoughtfully asked, "Baby, you seemed so happy on stage, though your songs were very angry. Tell me about that."

Janna laughed, "Strange dichotomy, huh?" Then she added, "Playing live did make me happy...ecstatic, actually...joyous. The only thing that even comes close to it is sex - with you." She leaned back more deeply into Ryan's embrace and continued, "The songs were angry but putting them out there, having them heard, made us happy. We were trying to make the world a better place. Make people aware of the injustice. I like to think that we succeeded somewhat. I hope so anyway."

"Oh, I think you must have had a tremendous influence on many kids" Ryan said sincerely, feeling very proud of her partner.

"If we helped even one kid feel okay about her sexual identity, or one boy to realize that girls are not simply playthings, or one kid to rethink suicide, or to realize that being a musician is cool, then we were very successful. I feel so grateful that I had the opportunity to make a difference. Or to try to anyway." She shrugged.

Ryan became very still and quiet and when Janna turned to look back at her, she saw tears streaking her lover's cheeks. "Sweetheart what..."

Wrapping her tightly in her arms, Ryan choked out, "Janna, I love you so much, words don't even exist for what I feel. I don't even know if I can show you adequately, ever." Burying her face into Janna's' she continued, "You are my Universe, Janna. Forever. Thank you so much for coming into my life."

Turning and straddling Ryan's lap, Janna kissed her tenderly. "I feel the same way about you my love. I tried to make a difference while doing something fun. You're out there every day making a difference by putting your own life on the line. You're quite literally saving people's lives. You're the hero here Ryan. You are my hero. My Universe. Forever. I love you with all that I am, Ryan." As she tenderly kissed Ryan again, Ryan wrapped her arms around her and gently laid her down on the couch.

As she leaned above the love of her life, Ryan looked deeply into her eyes and said, "Janna, I know that we've only been together for a very short time, but in that time you have completely changed my life. This all seems so incredible, but it's not: I know, with all that I am, and with no doubt whatsoever, that we have loved each other forever, and will continue to do so, in this life and beyond." She reached down and picked up Janna's hand, bringing it to her lips and imploring, "Janna, I want you to consider making a commitment to me...to us. Will you, please?"

Janna's immediate response was to reach up and pull Ryan's face to her own, kissing her with more passion than she ever had before. When they finally parted slightly she said, "Ryan, in my heart, I am already fully committed to you...to us. There is no question in my mind that we were meant to be together. I only wish we had come together sooner, so that we could have had sixty years together instead of only forty. You are everything to me Ryan, and it doesn't matter how long we've known each other, we both know that what we have together is timeless. I'm yours forever, Ryan Zamora."

With that, Ryan, tears streaming down her face in a highly uncharacteristic manner, gently lay her body along the length of her lover's and kissed her, from the center of her soul. Their tears intermingled as their heart link surged, encompassing both of them in a loving vortex of energy, sweeping them away on a wave of ecstasy and love. They made love then, as they never had before: gently, slowly, tenderly. Each touch, each caress, conveying the depth of their love. Each kiss, each taste, each embrace, a promise. Their love was solidified, for that lifetime and every other to come.

Later they would both remember that night as the beginning of their lifelong commitment to each other.

-11-

The next morning was the most beautiful that Janna had ever seen. She didn't notice the hazy overcast, or the already stifling heat (made all the more uncomfortable by the morning humidity), nor the oppressive, polluted air, which sat over the valley due to the absence of the Delta breeze. As far as she was concerned, this was the most beautiful and the happiest day of her life. She was still floating on a billowy cloud of love from the night before. She felt that today was, in all practicality, truly the first day of the rest of her life. The commitment that she and Ryan had made to each other the night before would surpass any other they would ever make: no ceremony or legal document could mean more to them than last night had.

They had sealed their commitment with soul-searing kisses and blazing hot touches. Janna's skin tingled in remembrance of Ryan's caressing hands and fingers. Of her stroking tongue and soft lips, and she shivered with pleasure.

Her partner felt the same way. She felt as if her feet hadn't touched the ground all morning long. As she pedaled along on her route, she almost felt as if her bike were flying. Her face was a peaceful mask of calm joy. The gentle, happy smile rarely leaving it, despite the necessities of her job and the ugliness she was faced with as a matter of course throughout her day.

During their morning break, she and John stopped at a downtown flower shop and she had a dozen red roses sent to Janna. The card read simply, "To the love of my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. -Ryan". Her patrol partner was speechless at her behavior and at this act. As far as he knew, his stony partner had never, not even when involved in a relationship, thought enough of a woman to send her flowers. Not even as a kiss off. This woman, whom he had jokingly referred to for years as the "Lone Wolf", had very obviously lost her heart. As he watched her, for the umpteenth time that day, gaze into space with a faraway look and a happy smile, he thought, boy, when she falls, she falls hard. Never thought I'd see it. Her happiness was so contagious that he couldn't even kid her about it. I must be getting soft in my old age.

Janna's flowers arrived while she was in her temporary darkroom, trying to concentrate on getting some work done but having little luck. The beauty of the roses and of Ryan's gesture took her breath away. When she returned to her work and her tears of joy kept dropping into the photographic solution that she was working over, she finally admitted to herself that today was just not going to be a workday and had given up.

She went into the front room and picked up her acoustic guitar. Sitting on the couch where she and Ryan had made such beautiful love the night before, she played, over and over, her favorite love song, thinking of her Ryan all the while. A few moments after she strummed the last chord, tears falling anew, the telephone rang. She knew before picking it up that it was Ryan, because their link started thrumming. "Hi love", she said with a warm smile.

"Hi. I'm glad it was me" came the warm, loving reply.

"I felt you. God, I miss you."

"I miss you too sweetheart."

"Thank you so much for the flowers. They're beautiful, Ryan."

"If only they could match your beauty, Janna." Ryan sighed softly and continued, "Hey, listen; things have been pretty quiet today. Why don't you meet us for lunch if you're not too busy? We're at the little café near City Square, next to the theatre."

"I'm there love. See you in a few. I love you."

"I love you too Janna, bye."

As Ryan hung up the phone and looked longingly at it, her partner stood watching her, not believing his eyes. He'd have bet anyone any amount of money that nothing like this could ever happen to his tough partner. He would have lost. Badly.

As Ryan turned away from the payphone she met her partner's direct gaze. He said, "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my partner?" a smile creeping onto his face.

Ryan blushed mildly and just shrugged her shoulders. "I love her John. I feel like she's been my best friend forever. I'm going to marry her." With that, she met John's gaze again and grinned at his look of surprise.

"Jesus Ry! That's great! But, uh..."

She interrupted him, "Yes, I'm sure. And so is she. This is it, John. No question."

His partner's direct gaze was so compelling that he knew that she knew what she was doing, and trusted in that. A very levelheaded woman was Ryan Zamora.

He grinned and slapped his partner on the back, saying, "Well, all right then buddy. I'm happy for you. Let me take you out for a beer after work, okay? We need to celebrate!"

"Actually, why don't you and Sara come over for a barbecue? You can bring the beer - Janna likes Foster's."

"What, you're actually giving up your beloved Coronas? Shit, you must be in love!" he grinned wickedly as she blushed again.

"Yeah, all right, come on. She's meeting us at the café for lunch. Give Sara a call about tonight will, ya?"

As they sat at a small wrought iron table under a dark green umbrella awaiting Janna's arrival, Ryan felt she was seeing her familiar world through new eyes. Everything seemed brighter today. Colors seemed more vivid, people seemed to be smiling more and were friendlier, and John was only being a slight pain in the ass.

John watched his partner, apparently lost somewhere in her own happy little world for the moment, and felt warmed. He was glad she had finally found a good woman. Glad she was so happy. He loved her like a sister and cared for her more than anyone he knew, after his wife. As he watched her, she suddenly looked up from the table she had been quietly gazing at, and swiveled her head, as if sensing something were amiss behind her. Her face, however, broke into a happy grin as she spotted her new mate striding toward them. Huh, how on Earth did she know Janna was coming up behind her?

As Janna arrived at their table, Ryan arose to greet her and the lovers grasped each other's arms and stood smiling at one another. Then Ryan abruptly said, "Come 'ere for a minute" and not waiting for a reply, pulled Janna behind her into the café. Entering a small, empty hallway that led to the kitchen, Ryan pulled Janna tightly against her and kissed her soundly. Janna wrapped both arms around Ryan's neck, prolonging and deepening the kiss. As they parted, Ryan rested her cheek against the top of Janna's head and said, "I've missed you this morning."

"Oh, Honey I've missed you too. I haven't been able to concentrate on a thing today!"

"I've had a little trouble staying focused too. Even John noticed, " she added wryly.

Janna winced. "Ooh, is he giving you a hard time?"

"No, surprisingly not. He's happy for me. He's really a good guy," she said warmly. Then she turned and, holding Janna's hand, led her back out to the café patio, adding, "I'm gonna ask him to be my Best Man."

Janna nearly stumbled as the impact of Ryan's words hit her. Best Man? She squeezed Ryan's hand warmly as tears sprang to her eyes, thankfully hidden behind her sunglasses.

They arrived back at the table and John politely stood, prompting Ryan to say with a smirk, "Who are you trying to kid?"

"Zamora, you wouldn't understand, but some of us have class."

She grinned widely at him as she held the chair for Janna, "Bite me, Stewart."

"Nah, I'll leave that to Janna, thanks!"

He was immensely pleased at the blush the remark brought to his partner's face and smiled as Janna reached for her mate's hand in comfort and pulled her into the chair next to her, a smile gracing her features as well.

Ryan recovered quickly and looking pointedly at her partner said, "Tell me again, John, how many martial arts degrees do you hold? Versus my 3rd degree black belt?" Shining blue eyes under raised black eyebrows awaited a response.

"Okay, I give. Shit, Ry, just trying to have a little fun. Let's eat," he said as he busied himself with a menu.

Ryan smirked at Janna, who grinned and squeezed her hand again.

The three friends enjoyed a scrumptious lunch of sandwiches, salad and sodas. John's wife had accepted Ryan's dinner invitation so they discussed those plans. Ryan was anxious for her closest friends to become close to her mate as well. They lingered as long as they could, none of them really wanting to part and return to work, but eventually duty called, literally, when a call came over Ryan's and John's radios simultaneously. Ryan bid her love goodbye, looking around quickly before placing a peck on her forehead. "See you later love. My place tonight, right?"

"Right, love. See you then." As Ryan started to leave, Janna's face took on a concerned look and she called "Be careful."

Ryan gave her a sober smile and replied, "Always love. Don't worry."

Janna smiled weakly and nodded, knowing there was no way in hell that she wouldn't worry. Not as long as her partner was in this line of work. Oh, God...Now I so understand what cops' wives go through.

~~~~~~~~~~

John and his wife Sara arrived at 7:00, John with a twelve pack of Foster's under one arm, and another twelve of Corona under the other, his wife carrying a bottle of fine champagne. As their noses detected the delicious aroma of barbecued food, they heard the strains of a Melissa Etheridge song coming from the rear yard, so they walked around that way, along the perfectly sculptured flowerbeds that lined the driveway. As they rounded the corner into the backyard, they stopped short and gazed with wonder at the lovely sight before them.

Ryan and Janna were dancing together on the deck, swaying slowly to a quiet love song in a tight embrace. Ryan had one arm wrapped around her love's waist, while holding a barbecue utensil in the other hand. Janna's hands were wrapped around Ryan's waist, her head resting on Ryan's chest. They both had expressions of pure bliss on their faces, and John and Sara were loath to interrupt them until the song had ended.

As the last of the song died out, they shared a quiet kiss, and as they parted and Ryan turned back to the grill, John announced their presence by clearing his throat. "Very nice guys" he grinned as his wife stood next to him, her face mirroring his. Ryan grinned cutely and seeing that they were loaded down with drinks, hurriedly dropped her utensil and rushed to unburden them as she introduced Janna to Sara.

"Nice to meet you, Sara", Janna said as she clasped Sara's hand. "I've heard some nice things about John's "better half!"

Sara grinned and replied, "And I've heard wonderful things about Ryan's. Nice to meet you Janna." She then offered her help in the kitchen and followed Janna inside, the two women immediately comfortable with each other and chattering away. After loading the beer bottles into a large cooler, Ryan returned to her grilling, Corona in one hand. John sauntered over and said, "Uh, you did remember that Sara's not much of a beef eater, didn't you?"

Ryan directed a sharp gaze at him and replied, "Yes, John. Hence the chicken here on the grill. See, it has Sara's name written all over it."

"All right smart ass, just making sure" he answered as he grabbed a Foster's for himself and came to sit on the bench near the grill.

"Actually", Ryan added, "Janna's not much of a meat eater either, so she's made a couple of salads and some sort of quiche-type thing."

At that John wrinkled his nose a little and Ryan laughed, saying, "I know, but do me a favor and at least try it. It really is good."

"Well if she got you to try it then it must be safe." He grinned as she swatted him with her dishtowel.

Eyeing her partner, Ryan commented, "You're sure in a good mood. What happened, you get lucky?" She grinned around her bottle as she took a jaunty swig.

"Nope, but I'll bet you did."

Ryan nearly sprayed her beer across the deck. "Shit, John!" then bringing her hand up to wipe her mouth added, "Jesus!"

"Well?" John awaited her reply with a grin.

Looking humbled, she replied, "Yes, but..."

"Hah! I am so good! I knew it. I can read you like a book, pardner!"

"Oh, you think you're good. That's not what I hear Sara says" smirked Ryan, trying to even the score.

"Ryan, I am the bes..." John started but was interrupted by the reappearance of their ladies, who were bearing dishes of food. Ryan and John both rushed to their aid and received pleased smiles from their mates.

"Good timing ladies, the meat's about done. Why don't we have a seat?" suggested the chef.

Seating herself next to her husband, Sara commented, "Oh, Ryan, Janna, everything looks and smells wonderful!" Sara was a short, blue-eyed blonde, who complemented her husband's fair looks. Her bubbly disposition also matched his.

Janna replied warmly, "Thanks Sara". Nodding her agreement, Ryan announced, "Okay, dig in everyone!"

Ryan started to go for the plate of meat but John stood and held up his hands, saying, "Wait a minute! I have a little business to conduct first. Sara, honey, hand me the Champagne, will you?"

Ryan and Janna looked at each other, puzzled, as Sara complied, producing four wine glasses as well, and John carefully popped the cork and poured the champagne.

"I want to offer a little toast." He raised his glass and waited for the others to follow. "To Ryan and Janna, may your obvious happiness be long-lived", then looking at Janna, he continued, "and to you, Janna, for coming into my partner's life and making her so happy. She's a hell of a lot easier to work with now!"

Everyone laughed as Ryan groaned and they happily downed their drinks. They all went on to enjoy both the meal and the company enormously.

Later, over a dessert of strawberry shortcake and coffee, the four friends sat companionably around Ryan's comfortable family room, visiting and sharing stories. John and Sara were regaling Janna with stories of Ryan's exploits and achievements, to her embarrassment. Janna loved it however, getting a further glimpse into her complex partner. She was snuggled against Ryan's side on the loveseat, while John and Sara shared the couch.

During a lull in the conversation, John quietly said, "So, guys, if you don't mind my asking, are you planning on moving in together?"

Ryan and Janna both looked surprised, with Ryan answering, "Uh, yeah, we haven't talked about it in detail yet, but it's what we both want, eventually." She looked questioningly at Janna, who nodded her agreement. Then, warmed by her lover's smile, added, "I think it will be sooner rather than later though" and gave her love a squeeze.

Clearing his throat, John continued, "The reason I ask is... and I don't want to put any pressure on you Ry, but well, now that Sara has finished her degree, we want to start a family, and well..." he stammered before his wife took over for him.

"Ryan, what he's trying to say is that we want to buy a house in this neighborhood, and is there any chance that yours might become available in the near future?" She patted her husband's knee as she smiled at Ryan.

"You're starting a family? Oh, you guys that's great!" exclaimed Ryan.

"Congratulations" said Janna warmly.

"Well, we're not pregnant yet. I just went off the pill last month. It could take a little while."

"Still, Sara, John, I'm happy for you. You'll make great parents." Ryan said sincerely. Then added, "As far as the house, yeah, I guess I need to give that some thought. There's no one I'd rather see in it, that's for sure." Looking thoughtfully at Janna she added, "Janna and I need to discuss it, but I suppose we would use her place. It's bigger and she's building a darkroom and studio so she can work at home." Then thoughtfully, "I guess that would be the most practical move."

Beside her, Janna rubbed her leg, and added, "Plus, honey, I don't have a mortgage - just a construction loan, which is nearly paid off."

"That's a definite plus" she responded with a grin. "Not to mention the gazebo and spa arriving next week," she added with a wink. Then she directed her gaze to the Stewarts and said, "Yeah, I guess you probably can count on the house."

Janna nodded, intertwining her fingers with Ryan's, which rested on her side.

"We appreciate that a lot, Ry, but you take a while to think about it and then let us know, okay? We kind of just wanted to let you know we were interested," John said.

"Yes, please don't feel pressured. There are plenty of available houses around here," Sara added.

"Okay, we'll definitely talk about it and let you guys know soon," responded Ryan.

"Great, thanks guys" John said sincerely.

"Yes, thank you," added Sara. Then, checking her watch, she noted the time and suggested they get going.

After bidding their friends farewell and cleaning the kitchen, Ryan and Janna made their way arm-in-arm up the stairs to Ryan's bedroom. Janna had not yet seen the room and was very pleasantly surprised to see several Native American prints on the walls, including two large R.C. Gorman paintings.

"Oh, my God, honey, this room is beautiful." Her eyes were drawn to the beautiful images of Native American women above the bed. "Are those R.C. Gormans?"

"Yep", Ryan replied proudly, "they cost me an arm and a leg, but I love them."

"Oh, they're gorgeous. I love his work!" Janna sighed.

Giving her lover a squeeze, Ryan replied warmly, "I'm so glad you like them. That makes me happy." She thought for a minute and then added, "You think you can find a place for them in your house?"

"Oh, honey, could I! How soon would you like to move yourself and your R.C. Gormans into my place?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

Eyes sparkling as well, Ryan replied, grinning "How about yesterday?"

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" the small blonde asked.

"Yep, and you showed me too. Wanna show me again?" Raised eyebrows and a wolfish grin accompanied the question.
Janna answered her by slowly removing her own clothes and then approaching Ryan and, oh so slowly, removing hers as well. The process was slowed considerably by the fact that as she removed each article of Ryan's clothing, she thoroughly kissed and tasted each newly bared area. By the time she was naked, Ryan could barely contain her desire and Janna was quickly scooped up bodily and carried to the bed, where both women commenced showing each other how very loved they were.

~~~~~~~~~~

After their lovemaking, and before falling asleep, they lay in each other's arms and discussed their ideas for settling down together. Though Ryan loved her home and had put much love and sweat equity into it, she was not displeased with the idea of John and Sara making their home there. And, of course, she wanted very much to live with Janna and was looking forward to their spending all of their time together in their own home. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that a move very soon would be appropriate.

Janna agreed. Her head was full of ideas for how to make Ryan comfortable there. Her first plan, after the spa was installed of course, was to add an exercise room. She had two unused bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs that they could make use of for that purpose. She also thought that Ryan might like an office of her own, perhaps in the room next to her office. She presented these ideas to Ryan and they discussed them late into the night. Or, rather, early into the morning.

The next morning, it became apparent to both Janna and Ryan that they were already falling into a comfortable routine. This morning, as yesterday, they awoke at 6:00, spent some quality intimate time together, then showered together (ostensibly to save time, but in reality for completely different reasons altogether that actually prolonged the event), and after a quick breakfast, they were out the door by 7:30.

This early morning experience was a very new one for Janna. For the better part of fifteen years she had kept a very late-night schedule and rarely woke before the crack of noon. Once she arrived at her place, however, Janna surprised herself by not returning to bed. She found that all the early-morning activity with Ryan actually energized her, and she was eager to get to work. Focusing on the work, however, was another matter. This day she found herself in the same dilemma as the previous, having a difficult time concentrating on anything other than her absent partner.

After some soul searching, she decided that the answer might be to try to center herself better after Ryan's departure. She devised a routine consisting of Reiki, meditation and yoga, and committed herself to practicing it daily.

Janna started by smudging the family room with sage and cedar to cleanse the space, and she lit some candles. Then she put on a quiet, new age cd, and placed a large pillow on the floor in the center of the room, which she sat on. She then entered into a Reiki meditation that she had been taught by her teachers. The Reiki left her feeling incredibly relaxed and balanced and she thanked God/the Creator/the Universe once again for bringing it into her life.

During the meditation, she connected strongly with Ryan. Besides the strong, constant feeling of love that she now identified with her partner, she felt, for a few minutes, a feeling of acute stress and anxiety. She noted the time: 10:15 and determined to ask Ryan about what had happened then. She sent calming energy to her partner and felt the anxiety melt away.

After the meditation she did yoga for half an hour, after which she felt very serene. She picked up her acoustic, sat on the couch, and slowly ran through some fingering exercises. Suddenly, Janna was filled with an inner peace and she realized that she had achieved the balance that she had been seeking by coming home. Her balance was Ryan. With great tears of joy, she realized that she had found the key to life, to happiness. "Thank you God!"

As she sat there contemplating her happiness, her link with Ryan began to vibrate pleasantly, or thrum as she like to think of it. She smiled and reached for the telephone even before it began to ring.

"Zamora-Norden residence" she answered cheerily, and was rewarded by a rich, hearty laugh from her soul mate.

"Sweetheart, one day you may be wrong about who's on the line, do you realize that?" came the happy voice.

"Nah, not when it's you, love" she replied, settling her legs comfortably over the arm of the couch and lying down. "Our link gives you away."

"Janna, that is so incredibly cool!" Ryan laughed. "What a gift it is. What a gift you are" she said, sincerity filling her voice.
"Thank you sweetheart. You are too, you know."

"Thanks love." Then changing the subject, "Hey, I had a minute so I wanted to ask you something. About an hour or so ago we had a sticky situation to deal with and I was feeling pretty tense, but then it just went away and I felt our link. Or, our love or whatever that is. What was up with that, do you know?"

"Yeah, hon. I was meditating with Reiki and just naturally reached out to you. I felt your tension so I sent calming energy." Then alarmed, she added, "Was that okay Ryan? I didn't consider that I might be interfering, it just sort of happened without my thinking about it." Confusion knit her brows.

Ryan answered, "Oh, babe it was fine. Great actually. I think it may have helped me to get a clear enough head to defuse the situation. We were trying to get a knife away from an unstable homeless guy who was threatening a cashier and he suddenly came at me. There were several kids around complicating the issue, so we were walking on eggshells. But when I suddenly felt calm it was as if I could see all the angles at once and I knew what I had to do. I got the knife and John subdued him easily. It was a very cool experience. John's looking at me like I just walked on water, but I thought you might have had something to do with it, Janna," she added with a smile.

"God, Ryan, I'm so glad I could help. Honey, I really want to start tutoring you on these techniques. I need for you to be as safe as possible out there. I couldn't bear..." She suddenly became choked up with emotion and couldn't continue.

"Shh, sweetheart. I'm okay. I feel like I now have a guardian angel watching over me. We make a great team Janna." Now Ryan was choked up.

"Yes we do. The best. We truly complete each other Ryan."

"Yes, love, we do." She cleared the emotion from her throat and went on, "Hey, we're at the station now making a report. Want to meet for lunch?"

"Oh, yeah, lets. Where?"

"Why don't we meet in City Square, near the fountain, in an hour? Would you mind picking up some sandwiches and drinks?"

"Sounds good, love. Lunch and I will see you in an hour."

"Super. Bye sweetheart. Love you."

"Bye Ryan. Love you too."

Janna clicked off the phone and rested it absentmindedly on her chest as she mused. Oh my God. What is going on with this link? This situation just gets more and more incredible by the minute. But it's really happening...cool!

-12-

Ryan and Janna had a wonderful lunch together. They had met by the fountains in the middle of City Square. The Square, a shady, tree-filled plaza bordered on two sides by the Police Station and the County Courthouse and on the other two by recently redeveloped avenues of small shops, cafes and restaurants, was the center point of the city's redevelopment efforts. It was a beautiful day, the Delta breeze having returned, both blowing away the polluted haze and cooling the region somewhat. It was a downright chilly (for July in the valley) 90 degrees in the shade. With the return of the breeze, the sky had regained that beautiful, intense blue shade which matched Ryan's eyes.

Ryan waited for Janna on a shady bench facing the fountain, enjoying the play of the water against the brilliant sky and the cooling mist it created. Her right arm rested along the back of the bench as she stretched her long, tan legs out in front of her. Her appearance was that of a cop relaxing on her lunch hour, but in reality she never completely relaxed. She was always observant, always alert and prepared to react. Through her mirrored sunglasses, nothing escaped her notice. She was aware of all of the activity on her periphery at all times.

And so it was that she noticed Janna's approach long before the blonde saw her. She watched her lover striding toward the square wearing a running tank, shorts and running shoes, and carrying a white paper bag. She admired Janna's pleasant veneer; blonde hair blowing in the breeze, her happy smile indicating her enjoyment of the nice day, sunglasses reflecting the sun and the tall buildings surrounding her and her lean, fit body. Ryan's heart warmed at her lover's beauty and at her growing proximity.

As Janna approached City Square she looked around briefly, trying to spy her partner. Then she saw her, an absolute vision before her, relaxing on a bench, oblivious to all but Janna at the moment, including the stares from admiring passersby. Ryan was looking directly at her, a huge, crooked grin on her face. Janna's heart began to race, her pulse pounding, as she approached her beautiful partner. My God, she looks great in that uniform.

Ryan stood to greet her and reached for her hands, taking the bag from her at the same time. "Hi sweetheart", she greeted Janna warmly before kissing her cheek and helping her to her seat on the bench. Chivalry is so not dead Janna thought happily as she held Ryan's outstretched hand and sat.

"Hi love. Are you at all aware of how gorgeous you look?" Janna grinned.

"I could say the same for you." Ryan smiled. "Did you walk here?"

"Yep. I need to start getting into shape and it's so gorgeous out that I couldn't resist."

Ryan leered at her gently and drawled, "Baby, you are already in perfect shape."

"Thank you, sweetheart, but I'm not. If I'm going to try out for your team, I have a lot of strengthening to do first."

"Well, that's true. If you don't prepare your body, you'll injure it for sure. We can start right away if you want, concentrate on your legs until your right arm is ready" Ryan replied thoughtfully, then added," You want to meet me at the gym after my shift? We can get started on a program. This is my regular workout day."

"Yes, that would be great. Are you sure it's okay for me to work out there?"

"Yes, spouses are welcome. There are usually a few wives in there when I work out."

Janna sat numbly, staring at the fountain, tears filling her eyes behind her sunglasses. She considers me her spouse? That realization made her happier than she had ever felt in her life. I had no idea that it was possible to love someone this much.

Ryan, oblivious to Janna's bewildered joy, peered into the bag she held. "Whatcha bring for lunch?" she asked as she pulled out two large deli sandwiches and sodas.

Janna shook herself back to the present and replied, "Oh, um, I got veggie for me and a hoagie for you, okay?"

"It's perfect sweetheart!" Ryan smiled warmly and rejoiced in the connection she shared with this woman. She already knows me so well. And loves me anyway. Amazing. She dug into her sandwich, amazement written on her beautiful features as she chewed.

They ate in a companionable silence for a while, enjoying each other's company and the beautiful day.

"So, how has your day gone - besides that little incident I mean" Janna asked between bites of her sandwich.

"It's been pretty quiet except for that. Mainly just the usual stuff" Ryan replied and then took another bite.

"So tell me, what does 'the usual stuff' entail," asked Janna curiously.

"Oh, things like moving loiterers along, domestic problems, mediating minor disputes, traffic problems, a variety of stuff, really. Mainly though we just maintain a presence. The department calls it 'Community Policing'. We get to know all the business owners and residents, become a friendly, constant presence in their lives. It comforts the law abiding folks and discourages the less than reputable types from doing their business here."

"Sounds like a good arrangement for the neighborhood."

"Yes, it is. And you know, with all the redevelopment down here, they want people to, number one, feel this is a safe enough place to visit, and number two, to be safe once they're here. The crime rate here has dropped so I think we do a good job of it, personally."

"It appears that you do. Are you and John the only bike patrol cops? I haven't noticed any others."

"No there's a squad of us, eight in total. We share this twenty-square block beat, plus the malls out north once in a while. We also rotate other duties, like policing special events and community outreach in schools and the malls. John and I are the main beat cops here downtown though. I also usually volunteer to work most of the special event jobs. I really like the change of pace - interacting with the public and with kids, especially." Ryan turned her attention back to her sandwich.

Janna nodded thoughtfully as she sipped her Coke, then said sincerely, "It sounds like a wonderful career, Ryan, and you seem to be a fine police officer. This city is lucky to have you."

Ryan caressed the hand lying between them and said, "Thanks, honey. I appreciate hearing that." She glanced around them and returned her steady gaze to Janna, saying, "I wish I could kiss you right now." She smiled wryly and shrugged.

"I do too, sweetheart. How about we plan a special evening?" Then she added seductively, "Perhaps something involving melted chocolate, strawberries and the whirlpool?"

Ryan's breath caught and the look of pure longing on her face warmed Janna from the inside out. She could also feel Ryan's desire through their link.

"I'll just take that as a yes, love!"

Ryan simply grinned and nodded dumbly.

Janna giggled. She can be so much like a guy sometimes - but only in the cute ways, thank God!

Ryan eyed her suspiciously, "What are you giggling at?"

"You. You're so cute! And I love you very much" she added sincerely.

That produced a big, warm smile and, "I love you too baby." Then she checked her watch and groaned, "Well, I need to get back to the station. You wanna come with me and I'll show you where the gym is?"

"Sure!" She collected all of their trash into the bag and tossed it into a can near their bench as they got up to go across the street to the station. As they walked, Janna asked Ryan, "Honey, are you okay with your coworkers knowing about us?"

Ryan placed her hand on Janna's back as they crossed the busy intersection and replied, "Yes. I've always been out, so it's no secret that I'm gay, and I have no problem with them knowing that I'm with someone now." She glanced shyly at Janna and smiled, adding, "I'm actually very proud of my beautiful girlfriend and won't mind showing her off a little."

Janna blushed at the compliment. "And I'm exceptionally proud of my beautiful girlfriend, and I won't mind letting the other women know that she's off limits now", she replied smugly.

"Oh, I am huh?" Ryan grinned, then added, "I've gotta tell ya sweetheart, I've been off limits here for years."

Janna found herself inordinately pleased at that revelation, and Ryan felt that through their connection and smiled widely as they entered the Police Station.

The Police Station was housed in an attractive, modern two-story building and the front doors opened into a wide reception area. Ryan walked straight ahead to a desk and checked in with the Sergeant.

The big man behind the counter looked up at her from his paperwork. "Zamora, I'm glad you stopped by. This just came over. You have an arraignment hearing at 4:00 on that gay-bashing case."

"Good, thanks Gary. Does Stewart know?"

"Nope, I haven't seen him yet."

"I'll let him know, thanks."

The desk Sergeant buzzed the security gate open for her and Ryan led Janna through and down a straight hallway. She sensed her partner's disquiet, and glanced at her.

"Janna, honey, it's okay. There's no way he'll be able to make bail. In fact, the charges against him are so serious that bail may not be an option."

Janna sighed and took Ryan's arm. "I know that, on an intellectual level, but on an emotional level, all I can think about is that baseball bat hitting me. Or how I felt thinking he was going to kill Jay Jay with it. My gut's tied up in knots."

They arrived at the doorway to the gym, and seeing no one inside at the moment, Ryan led Janna in. Once inside she wrapped Janna into an embrace and held her for a long moment. The knot at Janna's center eased somewhat at the loving contact.

"Sweetheart, I'm here for you, in whatever capacity you need me to be. We'll work this out together." Then pulling back slightly and looking pointedly at Janna, she added, "I want you to know, without any doubt, that he will never hurt you again. He would have to get past me, and that just is not gonna happen." She pulled Janna back tightly against herself and kissed her head, lumps forming in her own gut and in her throat, vowing silently to herself. There is no way in hell that anyone will ever touch her again. I'll kill any fucker that so much as thinks about it.

Janna felt Ryan's resolution and was comforted by it. She nuzzled Ryan's chest and mumbled, "My protector, huh?"

Ryan embraced her more tightly and replied, "Forever."

"I have a strong feeling that you always have been."

Tears coming to her eyes, Ryan answered, "And I have a strong feeling that you've always been by my side."

"And always will be love."

They stood holding each other there just inside the gym for long minutes. The comfort they provided each other was immeasurable. Ryan broke apart slightly and leaned in for a kiss, which Janna responded to sweetly.

"God, I love you Janna."

"I'm so glad for that Ryan, because you are everything to me."

Grinning, Ryan stepped back from her lover. "Well, I could stand here and do this all day, but I think my other partner would object. Think you can find your way here again later?"

"Sure can. Will the desk sergeant know to let me in?"

"Let's go talk to him now. I'll sign you up for gym privileges and get you an ID badge." They left the gym and started back down the hallway, hand in hand. More than one of Ryan's coworkers raised eyebrows or smiled as they passed them but the two lovers were oblivious to the attention.

"Cool, what will the badge say?" Janna grinned.

"How about, 'Janna Zamora'?" Ryan replied, only half joking.

Janna stopped and looked at Ryan seriously, "I can live with that." Ryan's face broke into a wide grin and Janna added, smiling, "But how do you feel about 'Janna Norden-Zamora'?"

"I love it!" Ryan beamed, then added more seriously, "We're gonna have to do something about that real soon."

Looking up at her love with complete devotion, Janna answered, "Yeah, we are. Real soon."

They arrived at the front desk and Ryan completed the necessary forms that would allow Janna guest privileges at the gym. The no-nonsense sergeant didn't so much as bat an eye when he looked over the form and noted that under "Privilege type", Ryan had checked "Spousal".

The Sergeant asked Janna to step over to another counter where a camera was set up in front of a screen and he took her photo as Ryan looked on proudly. Sixty seconds later, a photo ID badge was emitted from the printer and he handed it to Janna.

"Okay, Ms. Norden, you're all set. If you come before end of the day shift, you'll see me here and I'll just buzz you through. If its one of the other shifts, just show your ID", he instructed. "You'll need to wear it at all times while you're in the station here."

"Great. Thanks Sergeant." He nodded industriously and returned to his paperwork.

Ryan took Janna's arm and they stepped through the gate and into a small alcove, away from prying eyes.

"Ok, sweetheart, I'll meet you back here later. I should be here between 6:00 and 6:15, but if I'm delayed, I'll leave a message for you at the desk."

"Okay, love." Then, seriousness clouding her green eyes, "Good luck at the hearing."

"Don't worry Janna. Those assholes are going down." Ryan rubbed her partners arms and pulled her into a hug. "I love you sweetheart. See you later."

"Love you too. Bye."

As Janna walked home, she had much to contemplate. She was worried about the outcome of the hearing, and that of a trial if it came to that, but she actually felt surprisingly reassured that all would turn out well. And she knew, with every fiber of her being, that Ryan would do everything within her considerable power to not let anything happen to her. She trusted in Ryan completely. She fingered her new ID badge as she walked along the busy avenue and recalled Ryan's look of pride as she was photographed. I need to marry that woman very soon, I think.

As she thought of Ryan, she felt warmed. Through their link, she knew that Ryan was feeling the same warm, fuzzy feeling at that very moment. She marveled at the incredible good fortune that the Universe had bestowed upon her. Ryan is my destiny. I came home to find her...to find the other half of my soul. Now she wants to marry me! I have truly found heaven on Earth. She said a silent prayer of thanks and made her way home along the busy streets of her partner's patrol beat.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan entered the woman's locker room and sat on the bench in front of her locker. She took a long swig from her large water bottle and began removing her uniform. The cool, conditioned air felt good on her overheated skin. She removed her vest and sat for a few minutes in her sports bra and shorts, enjoying a brief rest and reflecting on her day.

It had been a long day, despite the pleasant interlude with Janna. The hearing had gone quickly, and pretty much as she had expected: Joe Simpson, the batsman, had been ordered held without bail. His cohort's bail was set at $250,000.

The three hours prior to the hearing, which had seen Ryan pedaling out in the heat and dealing with a seemingly inordinate amount of human stupidity, left her in a sour mood by the time she and John entered the courtroom. As the accused were brought in, she had to fight the urge to vault the divider separating them and rip the guys' heads off. She sat, seething with a boiling anger. The perpetrators had smug grins on their faces, obviously unrepentant and without remorse, especially as they glanced at Ryan. When they did so however, she fixed an icy, hate-filled glare on them and they both visibly paled, looking quickly away. When the Judge administered her decree, Ryan immediately stood, fixed them with another menacing glare, followed by a cold, snarling smile and turned to leave, her partner following quickly behind her.

"That went as expected, at least, " her partner remarked as he caught up to her."

"Yeah" she answered coldly.

"Hey, Ry, those guys are going away-there's no question."

"They'll probably plead it down and be out in two years, after which you may be arresting me for murder." Ryan stopped and took a breath. "I want to kill those sons of bitches John. With my bare hands." The anger was visibly rolling off of her now, and John knew to watch his step.

"Maybe not. They seemed pretty arrogant in there, at first, anyway." He grinned and she relaxed a bit. "They may be stupid enough to try to beat it. They certainly look stupid enough to try it."

"Yeah, maybe", Ryan conceded. "Come on, we've only got another hour left, let's just finish up some paperwork."

Ryan was brought back to the present when two cops entered the locker room. She stood up to leave and heard, "Ryan!
What's this we hear about a girlfriend?"

"So I've got a girlfriend, Mary, so the hell what?" she growled.

"Ooh, sorry, bad day?" her coworker asked, rather sincerely.

Ryan blew out a breath, responding, "Yeah Mary, sorry. I had the gay-bashing arraignment this afternoon." As she passed the two women she added, "I'm gonna go work out. See you tomorrow."

"Sure Ry, see you then. Hey, take it out on the machines all right?" she added as she shrugged at her friend.

As Ryan entered the gym and spotted her soul mate, most of the pent up anger left her body. She made a beeline for Janna and wrapped her in her arms, not caring that there were several men and another woman in the room looking on.

Janna could sense her partner's frustration, indeed had been feeling it for the last hour, and held Ryan tightly. "Hi baby, rough day?"

"Oh, God, yeah." She pulled back and looked at Janna sheepishly. "I barely restrained myself from committing murder in the courtroom today."

"Why, what happened?"

"Oh, those two assholes were just so god damned smug. The one that hurt you looked at me and grinned and I could've ripped his fucking head off."

"Then you would be in jail. Ryan, promise me that you won't do anything to those guys, no matter what happens. Please?" she pleaded. "I need you here with me", she implored with serious green eyes.

Ryan's anger softened even more as she gazed at Janna's concerned features. "Okay, I promise." She caressed Janna's cheek and leaned down, kissing her soundly.

A chorus of hoots and whistles accompanied the action and Ryan grinned and flipped them the finger as Janna blushed. "Come on", Ryan said, pulling Janna along, "I'll show you the locker room."

After returning from the gym's locker room and showers, where they had shared another, more private, kiss, Ryan introduced Janna to the various Nautilus and weight lifting machines, as well as the free weight area. They chose three leg machines for Janna to start out on and Ryan coached her through three sets of ten repetitions each. After that, Janna spotted for Ryan as she did bench presses and then they returned to the machines, where Ryan did an upper-body work out.

As Ryan sat at the chest press machine, using a very impressive amount of weights, Janna sat on a nearby bench and watched her partner in awe. She was breathtaking. She was clad only in her sports bra and shorts and her body was covered by a thin sheen of sweat. As she lifted, her arm, shoulder and chest muscles rippled, and her tight, six-pack abdominals were highlighted. Oh my God. She's a Goddess. An absolute Goddess. As she continued to watch Ryan work out, admiring the sight, she devised a plan for their intimate pursuits later that evening. By the time Ryan was finished, Janna was more flushed than she was.

Janet Lynne's e-mail address is unavailable.

Click here to continue on to "The Homecoming - Part Two"

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