by Alicorn
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The Writer
Copyright © by Alicorn, November 2005
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I wish they were, but I know they’re not and nobody gets anything for writing or posting, except Wiffy goodness.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Authoress' Notes: After a brief relationship with Willow, Tara dropped out of college and went back to her family, so Willow is Out to the Scoobies. Buffy & Willow sharing a College Dorm room. Giles & Anya (ex-demon & Xander’s girlfriend) run the Magic Box. Faith is post coma.
Credits: Beta, translation into American and editing by Lilly.
“Well I never thought I’d have to use this again. But I’m glad we kept it handy,” Buffy commented as she returned
Oz’s old tranquilizer gun to her handy carry-all weapons bag, patting it in silent praise as she closed the shoulder
bag. Turning, she found Willow roughly dragging the now unconscious Faith towards some very familiar chains. A
chill ran over her as she remembered her own experience in those very chains, and thought ‘things really do come
full circle, don’t they?’
But her mental wanderings stopped as she saw the expression on Willow’s face. Gone was her loving friend. Instead
Buffy saw the rage of a slayer, simmering not far below the self-control and gritted jaw. The new Slayer’s eyes
held a murderous glare that sent a chill down Buffy’s spine. As she harshly clamped the irons around Faith’s wrists,
a satisfied smile crossed Willow’s face, and for a moment Buffy thought she saw something darker.
“Willow?” Buffy questioned apprehensively. “Are you okay?”
The voice of her beloved drew the new Slayer back from her thoughts of revenge. Turning, she saw her own concerned
features and reality crashed into her fast and hard. ‘Oh my god I was going to… What’s wrong with me? How could
I even think of …’ Willow shook her head as if trying to shake away the anger and rage she still felt. ‘How could
I let myself give in to… that’s just what she would have done,’ she thought as she looked down at the unconscious
dark slayer. ‘I’m better than that… aren’t I? I knew she was hurting Buffy and I… I just wanted to… she needed
to know that pain… no… I needed to hurt…’ The contradiction between her natural need for measured justification
of her actions battled with the need to protect Buffy and punish Faith. ‘Punish? Why would I feel I have the right
to punish her?’
“Willow?” Buffy called to her again, even more concerned than before.
“Buffy, I… I just wanted to hurt her. I could have… I saw her hurting you and I… Oh God! Buffy, how do you do it?”
Willow asked with sheer desperation in her eyes. “How do you hold it in… all I could think about… so much… anger.”
“I don’t always manage to keep it in. You’re stronger than you realize. That’s why I lo… one of the… things I love
about you,” Buffy stumbled in her eagerness to console Willow. She looked away in embarrassment as she realized
what she had nearly said.
“Right. Because I was so in control back there. Everything Giles taught me just disappeared… flew right out of
my head,” Willow responded sadly, momentarily missing what Buffy had said. Then delayed realization of Buffy’s
statement suddenly hit Willow and she felt warmth wash over her.
“You held it in. You know you did. That’s why you’re so wigged. Trust me, I know,” Buffy stated, ashamed to admit
that she had not always succeeded in keeping the rage at bay.
“Th… Thanks,” Willow replied, her voice suddenly small and awkward.
* * * *
“Yes, I did fill her up. Yes, she has oil and water,” Giles quietly growled between clenched teeth, as he glared
into the handset of the payphone. “As I said, the starter motor appears to have given up the ghost.”
He was a grown man of above average intelligence, with a lifetime of experience and yet these young adults, supposedly
under his care, treated him as if he was a bumbling old fool, lost in the dark ages.
“Xander!” He barked, before regaining his external composure. “Whilst I appreciate your attempts at clairvoyant
mechanics, what I actually require is a lift to the bus station.”
Giles recalled how his own father had always treated him like a child, commenting on his every action with long
drawn out pauses of tired desperation at his choices and decisions. Each sigh would make his heart sink and his
inner self rail at the fact that this man just didn’t have a clue who he was or what he was capable of.
“Thank you for your assistance, Xander.”
Giles replaced the handset and sighed with a sense of regret. Why did everything have to be so uncomfortable, so
difficult? It galled him beyond belief.
Stomping back to his car, he took several deep breaths. “It seems old chap, that you are destined to be misunderstood
and under-appreciated in your own lifetime,” he stated aloud to himself, “Well if it was good enough for William
Blake, then who am I to complain?”
Opening his car door, he settled down to wait for Xander. Returning to the serious matter at hand, his mind raced
ahead to the many things he needed to know and the hundreds of variables he just couldn’t seem to pin down.
* * * *
“How long is she going to be out?” Willow asked impatiently.
“Not too long, I guess. I mean those darts used to knock Oz out for a good hour or more but she is a Slayer,” Buffy
commented, immediately wishing she hadn’t mentioned Oz.
“Right,” Willow agreed, her nerves taking over. Buffy was standing a good ten feet from her and yet she felt as
if the walls were crowding in on her. “The gun was a good idea.”
“Couldn’t think of any other way to take her down,” Buffy said, shrugging her shoulders as she knelt to check the
restraints that Willow had placed around Faith’s wrists. Somehow this whole ‘full circle’ thing had her fearing
that she might later find out that Faith wasn’t chained up at all and it was just some elaborate plan to fool her
into letting her guard down.
“Good thinking. I mean, I don’t think I could have b… ” Willow hesitated, realizing that she was about to admit
that Faith would have beaten her. Faith would have beaten her and then there would have been no one to protect
Buffy. She had lost it! She had attacked Faith… given into a moment’s anger… forgetting their plan and putting
Buffy in danger. If Faith had knocked her out, there would have been no way that Buffy could have…
“That’s why we plan ahead,” Buffy stated, oblivious to Willow’s internal mental self- recriminations.
Willow nodded, unable to drag her eyes from the stone floor, wishing it would just open up and swallow her. “So
what are we going to do with her when she comes around?” she asked, passing the decision-making baton to the one
woman she trusted with her life.
“I guess we should get hold of Giles. He’s going to want to question her,” Buffy responded, standing and turning
to face Willow. “Do you want me to go out and try to find a payphone?”
A thousand possible dangers filled Willow’s head and she almost yelled “No! I’ll go.” Realizing her eagerness sounded
strange, she added “I’m not sure that I can trust myself around her when she wakes up unless we’re together. It’s
probably better if I go.”
“Will, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Buffy affirmed, needing to remove that look of failure from her beloved’s
eyes. “You gave me the opening I needed.”
“Yeah, sure. That’s me, stick-to-the-plan girl,” Willow sarcastically replied.
“Some things… Will,” Buffy responded, her voice gentle and whimsical as she attempted to smile reassuringly at
her dearest friend. “Some thing’s you just can’t plan for.”
The newbie Slayer was momentarily lost in the eyes that fixed hers and led to a soul she knew too well. Realizing
that she was staring, Willow gulped, shyly smiling briefly in reply as she added, “I guess so.”
* * * *
Cordelia stared out of the bus window into pitch-blackness, waiting for the occasional pair of headlights that
would break into the darkness. Knowing that she was heading back to Sunnydale, to a place she had promised herself
she would only return to in glory as the well-established movie star or TV actress, she mused at how her life had
changed. Had they been right? ‘You can take the girl out of Sunnydale, but you can never take Sunnydale out of
the girl.’
She felt a slight knot forming in her stomach as she realized that not only was she returning to Sunnydale, but
to a group of people that she had more history with than she cared to admit and whose lifestyle she appeared to
have now chosen. Her father would have had a fit if he’d known… or if he’d cared. She’d wanted to be so independent,
to make it so no one could ever take her happiness away again but instead she lived a life where her happiness
was completely dependent on the success of other people’s lives.
A smile, uncalled for, spread itself across her face closely followed by a small laugh of self-derision. Turning
her head back to stare between the seats in front of her, she met a pair of interested, dark brown eyes peering
at her from the well-tanned handsome male face of the passenger seated a couple of rows in front of her. Years
of watching men, of knowing how they thought, what they wanted, how they often reacted to her looks, told her that
his body would be tight, fit and well groomed. His conversation would be obvious in its intent, confident and full
of flattery and promise. Yet all she considered at that moment was that she didn’t have time for this, added to
her sure knowledge that his mind and morals would be as shallow as the smallest kiddie pool in Sunnydale.
The man smiled, an inviting smile filled with the white teeth and the arrogant overconfidence of a man who never
found it hard to attract a woman. He could have been just her type, not that long ago. But now --- she turned away,
breaking eye contact, while allowing her peripheral vision to confirm that he had accepted her refusal to engage
and turned back into his seat.
As it dawned on her what she had just done, Cordelia threw her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Great, now I’m returning to
Sunnydale a born-again virgin. Would it have been so hard to just flirt with the guy?’ she thought, shaking her
head. ‘Okay, so I’m a little out of practice, but he was reasonably cute. What am I looking for? A saint with a
degree in demonology? And a great wardrobe? Like they’re all lining up to date vision-girl.’ It kind of bothered
and confused her that she didn’t care about him and what he thought about her. All she cared about was getting
to Sunnydale, the Scoobies … and of course, having a long talk with Faith.
* * * *
Buffy stared at the woman chained before her. They had so much history - too much. Maybe things would have been
different if their relationship hadn’t begun with so many expectations, and then ended with so much disappointment.
Was that why Faith hated her? Had she, somehow, failed to live up to Faith’s expectations? Maybe she hadn’t understood
what this younger slayer needed from her? She’d felt a connection to Kendra even though they had been so different,
from such different cultures - they had shared the same view of what being a slayer meant. But no matter how much
she had tried, all her attempts to connect with Faith had ended badly. Why? How had it all gone so wrong between
them?
Now here she was making sure that the chains securely held the supposedly reformed Slayer. She found her mind wandering
from distrust to the vain hope that maybe, just maybe Faith was trying to help. ‘Giles, I just hope you’re right.’
After all, Faith had been the catalyst. Without the dark slayer’s actions, she would never have known what it was
like to kiss Willow, let alone make love to her. ‘Oh right and that’s going so well,’ she thought, as negativity
quickly swept over her. ‘Well I’m not falling for it. All I’m going to be left with are painful memories of something
I can never have again.’
She moved closer to take in the features of the woman who had become the source of so much guilt, pain, hatred
and anger. Faith just wouldn’t, couldn’t seem to leave her alone. Even unconscious she continued to torment Buffy.
* * * *
“I tried Giles at his apartment. I was wondering if you’d heard from him,” Willow explained to Anya.
“Yes,” Anya responded in clipped tones. Unwilling to engage in anything but the briefest of conversations with
Willow, as she unconsciously massaged her injured ribs.
“Do you know where he was calling from when you spoke to him?” Willow questioned with more patience than she was
feeling.
“I didn’t speak to him,” Anya replied unhelpfully.
“Anya, I need to get hold of him. We’ve captured Faith,” Willow said slowly. “Do you know where he is?”
“No. He called asking Xander to pick him up. His junk heap broke down and he needed a lift. So, of course, Xander
has left me alone to help him,” the ex-demon stated, her dissatisfaction at events more than a little apparent.
“He should be here with me,” she complained adding, as an afterthought, “resting.”
“Well, when they get back, could you tell him to come to Angel’s old mansion?” Willow asked. “That’s where we have
Faith.”
“He should be resting,” Anya repeated.
“Anya! I mean Giles, not Xander. Will you please tell Giles?” Willow asked again, beginning to lose her patience.
“Okay. But I don’t think they’re coming back here. Xander said something about someone arriving from LA. I don’t
know why Angel couldn’t drive himself. Xander should be resting and looking after me,” Anya declared yet again.
“Okay, thanks,” Willow responded placing the handset back onto its cradle. “Angel?” She asked the world in general.
“Just the one we need! Angel! Can this get any more complicated?”
* * * *
It was so dark … it felt so heavy … something holding her down … holding her in … keeping her safe from the
world. She could feel the sleepy fingers that had invaded her blood stream … her muscles … her head, dragging her
mind into dark hidden corners, stopping her from reaching for the faint glimmer that she hoped was daylight.
But she could feel something welling from below … its heat rising towards her … calling to the calm chill within
her mind … trying to reach her.
How had she come here? Should she stay? Should she leave? How could she leave? Would the sleepy, heavy fingers
let her? She could feel the heat from below becoming tangible … she could almost sense movement, pressure, surging
action coming towards her dark corner.
Then a surge of action caused noise … only a slight distant noise … no, a voice … washing over her mind with its
familiar tone and sound. Faith strained her mind towards it … reaching to grab all of the sounds … all of the depth
and tone … all of the … words.
“You really should have left us alone. Now everything’s changed and we can’t go back,” Buffy mumbled from the stone
table where she now sat crossed legged, glaring at the cause of her pain and heart-felt dilemma. She wanted to
sing of her love to the world. But she also wanted to protect her beloved because she knew that if her enemies,
who were always coming after her, looking for a way of hurting her or stopping her from carrying out her responsibilities
... her duty to protect the world … ever found out about her beloved … She didn’t want to think of the danger her
love would be in. How could she risk putting Willow in harm’s way? How could she risk ever losing her?
Faith struggled to pull together the sounds … to understand the words. BUFFY! ‘I’m listening to Buffy,’ Faith’s
mind screamed as she strained towards the waking world with little or no ceremony, each step closer a rude awakening
from the dark corner she had hidden in ... No, the darkness that she had been forced into.
“I can’t believe you had the nerve to turn up here again. What do I have to do to you to get you to leave us alone?
A knife in your gut wasn’t enough?” Buffy questioned, her mind swinging from anger to left-over guilt, with the
dexterity of a card shark dealing a winning hand. “We were fine the way we were. Why did you have to interfere?”
She couldn’t conceive of never holding Willow again, never feeling her arms, her lips, never tasting her honeyed
center again. She could almost feel Willow within her … even now … body switch or not. How could she just deny
the longing … the need?
Faith strained against the sleepy fingers … the remaining darkness. She could almost feel them against her flesh,
cold and intractable.
Buffy could not pull her eyes from Faith’s unmoving form. There was so much anger … so much regret about what could
have been. She knew that they could have made such a great team in the fight against evil … she had eventually
warmed to the idea of having someone with her, protecting the world. Instead they had spent their time fighting
each other. She had been so happy when she knew that she was not alone in her life as a slayer. Granted she knew
that she had her mother, Giles, Xander … and, of course, Willow. But to have been able to have Faith, the only
person who knew … really knew … what it was like to be the slayer. She thought that she hated Faith most for ruining
that.
But she also knew, deep down in her soul, that she had some responsibility for the fact that what it could have
been… had been lost. It should have been a strong friendship and collaboration, beneficial to both Faith and herself,
as well as to everyone else, but she had allowed it to somehow go horribly, terribly wrong.
Shaking her head from the pointless land of ‘what if’, Buffy acknowledged that she didn’t need that anymore. Willow
now knew. Her dearest now knew and understood the one aspect of her life that she had not been fully able to fathom
before. Even though obtaining that knowledge had been accidental and had put her beloved in danger … NO, Faith
had put her in danger. It always went back to Faith.
“What do you want from us? Don’t you think if I had the choice I’d go back and change things?” Buffy yelled at
the still unconscious woman before her. “But you and I both know that it would all still have ended up the same.
You and I are like the ingredients for TNT or worse.”
* * * *
Giles sat beside Xander in stony silence. He had finally managed to quiet Xander down by telling him just who
they were picking up. Giles would be lying if he didn’t admit how much he was enjoying Xander’s stunned silence
and goofy expression at the news that he was about to see Cordelia. ‘Ahhh, life’s small pleasures.’
Xander’s mind was full of questions. The predominant one being ‘Why me? All of my failures seemed to be coming
home to haunt me. Have I made a wish? No. Have I picked up an amulet? Nope. So what gives?’ The idea of seeing
Cordelia again after all this time caused him to feel a certain heady anticipation … followed immediately by the
‘I’m in a relationship’ guilt and associated fear. ‘Oh boy! Anya’s so not going to like this when she finds out.’
She had had a major wig-out when she had found out about his encounters with Faith. The fact that he had slipped
up and admitted that the dark-hair Slayer, another ex, had already visited their apartment had not helped matters
at all. Anya had become certain that he had invited the Faith to meet him. Why else would she have been at the
dorm room at the same time as he had been? It had taken him a good hour to calm her down. Thankfully Giles had
rescued him from the payback lecture that the so-called calmer and more accepting Anya had been about to deliver.
‘How do people do it? How do they deal with ex-es when they just keep turning up in your life? It drove Buffy nuts
whenever Angel reappeared. Why can’t your ex just go and stay gone?’ Xander wondered as he headed around the park
towards the bus station. ‘What did I ever do to deserve this?’
Giles was still aglow with his small victory over Xander’s prattle as they turned into Park Drive. Absently watching
the world go by, a small figure caught his eye. The familiar form took a moment to register – ‘Buffy … no … no
… Willow’. “Xander stop the car,” Giles ordered.
“What?” Xander asked, still lost in his own thoughts.
“Stop the car!” Giles repeated forcefully. “Now would be good.”
“Okay, okay,” Xander responded, somewhat hurt by his tone. “No need to get all repeato on me. I heard y … Willow?”
He blurted out as he too recognized the familiar figure standing by a payphone, looking more than a little lost.
As she turned in response to the sound of his breaks, he clearly saw her Buffy-face and … her EYE!
* * * *
“I mean, it’s not like I actually believed Angel when he said that you had changed. You had to know that. So
why would you come back here? Why would you believe that I would ever trust you? I almost killed you. It just doesn’t
make sense,” Buffy puzzled, staring at the top of Faith’s head.
“Honey, you and me - we never made sense. Even ‘Dead Boy’ got that,” Faith whispered, her head still hanging down,
as she began to regain her mental equilibrium.
Shocked to have her question answered, Buffy’s legs dropped to the floor. Even though Faith’s apparently disembodied
voice had given her a major freak out, her first concern was just how much of what she’d just said Faith had heard.
“What the hell did you hit me with? An elephant tranquilizer?” Faith asked quietly as she tried to lift her arms.
“Nope, I think it was a cow tranquilizer - for the interfering kind,” Buffy stated.
“Sure kicked ass, whatever it was,” Faith said, trying to shake the heaviness that held her limbs like lead weights.
“If you’re expecting an apology, you’ll be waiting a very long time,” Buffy declared as she stood and slowly moved
around to get a better look at her.
“Five by five,” Faith acknowledged. Suddenly realizing they were alone she became defensive and asked, “So why’d
you send Red away?” instinctively knowing that Willow wouldn’t have left unless Buffy had told her to go. “If you
were after some one on one time with me, you could have just asked. ‘Course you’re not really my type.”
“Thanks,” Buffy retorted, holding back her natural instinct to reach forward and slug her. “That’s one group I
won’t cry about being excluded from.”
Faith couldn’t keep herself from laughing out loud at the futility of their conversation. The idea that she and
Buffy could have a civilized conversation just wasn’t a possibility in this dimension. They were like fire and
oil, the only thing they were good for was creating a blaze.
Buffy was thrown by the sound of Faith laughing, “And just what’s so funny?” she demanded in annoyance.
“We are … it’s always the same,” Faith commented, “I just can’t seem to help myself trying to knock you off your
All-American Slayer pedestal. Then you throw a holier than thou one-liner back down on me. Then I retort and vice
versa until either the fists fly or something breaks us up,” Faith explained.
“Still kinda missing why that’s so funny,” Buffy responded, a little unnerved by Faith’s rather accurate description
of just about every encounter they had ever had since the Mayor had come into their lives.
“Its funny cuz I know, and you know, I’m not going anywhere. Plus getting physical - that other way - just isn’t
gonna to happen between us. So sorry to be the party pooper,” she added facetiously. “But you’re not really up
to kicking my ass right now and we both know it. But we still follow the script anyway. Bitching funny, if you
ask me.”
“And just why would I ask you anything,” Buffy snapped, now irritated and annoyed at Faith’s quiet resignation
and acceptance. She had expected more of a fight from her. She really had wanted an excuse … a reason … something
to justify her need to beat living hell out of this other slayer.
“Oh, I think you have a lot of things you want to ask me. But you’re not gonna, are you?” Faith asked. “You’ll
leave that for someone else. It would fuck with your head to have to ask me for anything, wouldn’t it?” Faith continued
“Too bad. But I guess some things never change”
“You should know,” Buffy spat.
“Give it up, B. You’re up to your neck in learning to live with how you really feel and what that really means.
Buffy, the all-action-hero, is just plain scared … of how she really feels,” Faith challenged.
Buffy stared at her momentarily thrown off by Faith’s clear understanding of the situation and her fears. “Right
this is me quaking in my really expensive boots.”
“Passport to ‘denial’ much. You know I’m right. The thought of talking to me about Willow just freaks you out,”
Faith observed. “Seems red isn’t just the color of your true love’s hair; it’s the color you go whenever someone
asks about her.”
“You just leave Willow out of this,” Buffy yelled, wishing she could just knock her out again.
“Glad you know who I’m talking about B,” She smirked, “But as this is all about the two of you, leaving her out
of it - not really an option. Mind if I skip past the 'your dad never loved you' and ‘Red’s mom never loved her’
part and get right to it? So what’s the big problemo?” Faith asked, finally managing to lift her arms, reaching
up and brushing back her hair, as a thought occurred to her. “Don’t tell me she was bad in bed … or maybe you…
.”
* * * *
“Ma’am, would you like a hand with your bags?” a young pimply-faced man asked.
Cordelia looked at him with an icy stare. ‘Ma’am! When the hell did I become a Ma’am?’ Glancing at her reflection
in the bus station doors, she noted her tied up hair, still slightly lopsided from leaning against the bus window.
Add to that her makeup free features as her eyes traveled down to her overnight bus trip brown ‘Eddie Bauer’ quilted
coat and ‘Prada’ purple scarf. Glaring again at the young man, she sharply advised him “No, I’m fine.”
‘Good god, I can’t return to Sunnydale looking like some quilt stitching, tree hugging fruit loop escapee from
the softer side of Sears.’ Why did that sound familiar? ‘How did this happen?’ she asked, puzzled that two of her
pricier purchases could, when combined, produce such a bad fashion visual. Heading for the restroom, Cordelia missed
the obvious attention her arrival had attracted as she pulled her overflowing bag behind her, thankful that she
had packed more than one ensemble in the rush to make her bus.
The dark haired man standing by the payphones, watched her intently, glancing occasionally at the small black and
white photo nestled into the palm of his hand. Nodding his head, he turned and made his call. “She’s here,” he
stated, glancing at her receding form. “No one that I can see,” he affirmed, as he saw her enter the ladies’ restroom.
“Affirmative. No contact. Just surveillance.”
* * * *
“Chill, B. It was just a question. It’s not like I’m after details,” Faith assured the now somewhat red-faced
Slayer. “…unless you’d like to share …” she quickly added with a smirk. ‘I really shouldn’t be enjoying Buffy’s
discomfort so much but I just can’t help myself.’
“Like you give a damn about us,” Buffy shouted. “This is all just some sicko and twisted way to get payback. Some
lame brain scheme you’ve cooked up to get what you’ve always considered your right - Sunnydale and yourself as
its one true Slayer. Add in the bonus jollies you must be getting from taking away my power, embarrassing Willow,
forcing us to … You’re sick, do you know that? Can you even guess how sick … using Xander, messing with Giles …
Why did you think I would fall for your ‘I’m here to help you guys’ act? That’s all you’ve ever been - an act.
Pretending to be the Slayer … pretending to be our friend … pretending to help us defeat the Mayor … pretending
you’ve changed … pretending you care …” Buffy’s accusing torrent was halted by the look she’d caught, if only briefly,
as she glared into Faith’s eyes. Sorrow, remorse and, no, it couldn’t have been … regret … apology?
“You really do have your panties in a twist about this. You know someone once told me that I worry too much for
a girl for my age. I’d hate to check your blood pressure right now,” Faith commented, attempting to hide her pain
at the truth in Buffy’s accusations and at the pain she heard in her sister slayer’s accusations. “It’s so right
in-your-face obvious. You need help, B. You’re in a tailspin over Red and if you don’t get a handle on your ass
soon - Hello, dirt!”
* * * *
“Buffy what?” Xander exclaimed, fighting the urge to laugh.
“It wasn’t her fault. Faith ducked,” Willow explained, gently touching the puffiness below her eye. “Is it really
obvious?”
“Uh huh. Will, you have a real shiner there,” Xander chuckled, his face full of the amusement.
“Ohhhhh,” Willow wailed. ‘I marked Buffy … no Buffy marked … well her fist … but Buffy had been in control of …
my fist … my eye … no Buffy’s eye. Ohhhh, body-switching headache stuff again!’
“I wouldn’t worry. In three or maybe four hours, it should be gone. Slayer healing, you know,” Giles reminded her,
“Regrettably it also means instead of it taking hours for an eye to go black … But as I said it will be gone, for
all intents and purposes, before morning,” Giles assured her, realizing that despite Willow being an eager student,
she was not a Slayer. It took years of training, experience and honed instinct to anticipate a situation and avoid
… Oh my. He couldn’t hold it in - a small smile spread, first, across his eyes and then his face as his mind surrendered
to the comedy of the sight before him.
“Giles!” Willow accused, as she saw his smile begin. “Oh great, I’m so pleased that you both find my eye … her
eye … so amusing. But can we get back to the issue at hand?” Willow asked, her disapproval of their reaction to
her injury very self-evident.
“Yes, yes, of course. (cough) Faith,” Giles stated, trying regaining his control.
“Right. Faith,” Willow affirmed. “Well, we followed her to Angel’s old mansion and Buffy eventually knocked her
out with the tranquilizer gun. We chained her up and Buffy sent me to call you,” Willow informed them, confident
that this knowledge would prompt some action other than laughter.
As expected, her news had a sobering effect on both men, as they both turned to gaze wide eyed at each other before
turning back to Willow. “You mean that you left them together? Alone?”
* * * *
Buffy turned and walked away from Faith, as far as she dared. The anger continued to build inside her, momentarily
tempered by the knowledge that she didn’t have the strength it would take to knock Faith around as she really wanted.
‘Where does she get off telling me how I feel? She wouldn’t know an emotion if it walked up and slapped her in
the face,’ Buffy fumed, trying to ignore the momentary sadness she had seen in the chained Slayer’s face.
‘Tailspin? I am so not in a tailspin. That’s what a pilot does when she loses any idea which way is up. I know
exactly which way is up. Don’t I? I love my Willow. What’s so tricky about that?’ Buffy affirmed ‘Nothing. Except
that I’ll probably end up flying solo.’
Faith watched her, seeing no need to add to what she had said. She had obviously given Buffy a lot to think about.
But somehow she felt she was still missing something. She’d seen the way they were together from the moment she
had met them when she first arrived in Sunnydale. Faith had noticed the searching glances, nervous body language
and the continual unconditional support - something she used to be so jealous of. ‘Where’s the jealousy gone?’
She asked herself fleetingly, before acknowledging what she now knew to be true. ‘Cordelia … I need to have a long
sit down talk with that woman. Not now, though.’ She reminded herself, bringing her thoughts back to the matter
at hand. Something had been missing when she’d watched them, something she had expected to see. Willow had been
too careful … ‘Oh damn it! I don’t believe it - they’re both scared!’ “Buffy you need to listen to me.”
Buffy paused as her doubt almost took over, but it was quickly replaced by her permanently targeted anger. “You’re
so full of the good advice, aren’t you? Remind me when was the last time you gave me good advice?” she asked, turning
to glare at Faith. “Mmmm, let me think. Oh wait! That would be the time we skipped school and you almost got me
arrested. So pardon me if I don’t fall for you as cupid’s little helper,” Buffy smiled. “Maybe you should take
your own advice … get rid of your non-working lesbian radar and stop getting in your own tailspin about something
that you can’t … you don’t know anything about and that has absolutely nothing to do with YOU!”
“B, don’t shoot the messenger. Remember … this wasn’t my message,” Faith reminded her. “Cordelia saw you two being
…” Faith stopped suddenly, realizing that why Cordelia had sent her wasn’t really the issue so much as … “Okay
so maybe that’s not really the point either …”
“Do you have one?” Buffy asked sarcastically, tilting her head to one side.
“Chill B, I’m getting to the point. The fact remains that you two have a destiny. Anyone can see it. So, maybe
two nights of doing the horizontal lambada with Red didn’t shake your passion trees. And then again maybe they
did. Maybe you just couldn’t take it … couldn’t accept it for some reason?” Faith queried, just as she caught a
movement with the corner of her eye. “I mean, last I recall you were so big in love with the look-but-can’t-touch
dead guy,” Faith paused. “Hey, maybe that’s what you’re into! Maybe you like wanting what you can’t have, can’t
touch. Maybe you enjoy the ‘will we … won’t we … we could but we can’t’ … Never took you as being into that kinda
kink.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Buffy stated dismissively, despite having a pretty good idea exactly
where Faith was heading.
“Well, if this is your kink, having an itch you know you can never scratch must turn you on. Umm, ring a bell?”
Faith asked. “Angel seemed to be into the same thing. If you ask me, you two made quite a match.”
“No one asked you. Angel and I are over,” Buffy stated emphatically. “As if his taking you in didn’t help to end
it, the fact is, unlike you, I grew up.”
“Right. Little Miss I’m-the-center-of-the-Slayer-Universe grew up. I don’t think so. How, exactly, did you two
end up under Dracula’s thrall?” Faith retorted. “Was that your mature Slayer head taking the lead or your injured
pride ignoring the warning signs. Let’s face it, having a big ole flame for Red … that was cool. It rang your bells
- can’t say, can’t do, can’t touch, forbidden fruit - which we now know you dig. Plus she was all straight and
boyfriend attached … so she was unavailable.”
Buffy clenched her teeth and moved towards Faith. “So is this the moment, you know, when we have a big old heart
to heart? Gee, thought we’d already done that. You decided to leave as I recall.”
Ignoring Buffy, Faith continued “But then what does Red go and do? She up and jumped the fence, didn’t she? Bet
that threw you for a loop. I mean, how can you safely be having those juicy naughty forbidden thoughts that you
shouldn’t be having and getting your jollies off if your secret flame is now having the same naughty thoughts?
Kinda bettin’ that was one hell of cold shower for you, wasn’t it?” Faith smirked.
Willow stood frozen, with her two companions equally immobile. ‘What did Faith just say? No. She couldn’t have
… oh! OH! Why? Why did she … how did she …? Swallow me up! Why doesn’t the earth just swallow me up? Or …’ But
nothing else came to mind that could help her escape, as her mouth opened and no noise came out.
“I remember you two as so mega with the sharing and supporting each other that it made me sick but then the moment
you find out that Red’s also got a little secret she’s been keeping … It spoiled the whole thing, didn’t it? Why
can’t you two just talk? Just be honest with each other for a change. What are you afraid she’ll say?”
Giles couldn’t move. It was like walking into a church just as the priest asked that all-important question. He
felt compelled to stay still … compelled to await the answer … afraid to break the moment … afraid his mere movements,
a slight noise would prevent Buffy from responding. His nerves ran within him as he waited for her to speak, honestly
unsure what she would say, if she would say anything at all.
Buffy smiled as she walked past Faith towards the stone table where her weapons bag still rested. “So this is when
I share how I feel? When I’m supposed to open up and spill my deepest secrets to you,” she smirked as she withdrew
the tranquilizer gun and raised it to point at the no longer smiling Faith. “I don’t think so.”
“She’s in love with you,” Faith stated firmly. “And you … you must know how you feel about her. What are you going
to do about it?”
Buffy froze, her face emotionless, staring at Faith. For what seemed like an eon she considered answering the question
but then she recalled why she was here … why Faith was in chains … why they were all in danger. As she slowly raised
the gun, she smiled.
Willow had never felt so mortified, so small, so naked. ‘Buffy’s not saying anything. Why isn’t she saying anything?
Goddess, what is she doing?’
Xander’s mind was screaming, ‘Say it, you fool. Say it!’ As he almost willed himself into Buffy’s mind. Glancing
to his side, he caught a movement – Willow. She was shaking. Turning slightly, he noticed the paleness of Buffy’s
… no Willow’s … ‘Oh hell, she was terrified.’ His heart reached out to her, wishing he could hurry time, wishing
he could make her deaf, wishing any wish that would lessen the pain for her.
Willow could almost feel herself shrinking, her self-confidence ebbing away with each excruciating second, each
breath, each blink ... each millisecond of Buffy’s silence. ‘Why doesn’t she say … something?’
Giles could hold himself back no longer. “Buffy!?”
Looking up, Buffy saw the huddled group by the patio doors. Willow. ‘Oh goddess, she heard. What did she hear?
What did I say?’ Faith momentarily forgotten as Buffy saw the pained and pallid face of her beloved.
Cordelia stared at her reflection, wondering when the slight darkness under her eyes had begun. No one had said
anything to her about her looks in so long that she’d almost forgotten about them. She merely assumed that, as
always, they were simply there. She examined her face with the self-realization of a woman. Somehow, she had gotten
older. So here she stood wishing for the skin tone and youthfulness that she remembered. Pulling at her skin and
leaning closer to the mirror to scrutinize her face at a level no one else ever would.
When had she become a woman? When had she stopped being a girl on the verge of womanhood? With everything that
had happened to her over the years, she seemed to have missed the transition.
She recalled how essential it had been for her to look healthy and toned. She remembered how clothes had loved
to hang off her tight pert body compared to the careful shopping it now took to accentuate her maturing figure.
Life had slowly caught up with her. The visions and their pain that accompanied them, the fighting, the irregular
eating and sleeping patterns had all taken their toll on her.
Yet Faith still looked as she had back then. Probably Buffy did too. Damn slayer genes! She smirked at herself.
Then sighing, Cordelia began to carefully re-apply her makeup, as she wondered why there was such a heady excitement
at seeing Faith. She could almost feel butterflies building in her now hungry stomach. What was it about the ex-Slayer
that had so gotten under her skin?
Okay, so she missed her baking, their late night chats and shared comfortable silences. But what she was really
missing was just having someone there, wasn’t she? Or was it really Faith that she missed?
Shaking her head to free herself of these thoughts, she brought her mind back to the mission she had sent Faith
on. And that mission was to bring two women together; two women so in love and yet so blind to their love. She
always knew those two “best friends” weren’t as smart as everyone thought they were.
She had been viewing it as any other mission, any other puzzle that the Powers That Be asked her to solve. Just
another vision, b. But it had become so much more, i. It had touched those she now realized she cared about personally.
You can take the girl out of Sunnydale, but you can never take Sunnydale out of the girl.
And she couldn’t help wondering why the fact that bringing these two women together had become so important for
Faith, so important that she had almost leapt at the opportunity, had led Cordelia to believe that the dark-haired
slayer had indeed changed and grown. And this was why she, herself, had backed her in Faiths in her insistence
that she should be the one to go on this mission. The seer could have gone herself; things might have been simpler
if she had. But she had seen such determination and need in Faith’s eyes that she had been unable to take this
opportunity chance at absolution away from her.
* * * *
“I really think that tranquilizing Faith once should be enough fun for today,” Giles commented as lightly as
he could, stepping forward, placing himself protectively between Willow and Buffy. He had caught the look of pain
in Willow’s face and realized that she needed a moment to collect herself, without Buffy staring at her. “Please
put the gun away,” he requested, and seeing the equally anguished look on Buffy’s face, he resisted the urge to
take her to one side and give her a piece of his mind.
Buffy automatically blindly followed his instructions, as her mind raced trying to recall what Willow could have
over heard. ‘Why is this happening? What have I ever done to the world except save it, ? why is this happening
to me?’ She mentally screamed to the Powers Tthat bBe. ‘If I’d known she was listening I would have, … I could
have….’ …’ She smiled sadly at her sheer cowardice. ‘You wouldn’t have said a damn thing, you big coward. But the
way she looked, … she was so hurt, w. Why? Why? What did I say, w? What did Faith say that could have hurt her
so much?’ she asked herself. Drawing a blank, she stuffed the gun back into theits carry- all and stood staring
at the bag in total confusion.
“Hi guys.,” Faith smiled half- heartedly. “So, who needs saving today?” Faith asked, avoiding all eye contact with
Red. She didn’t need to look at the Wiccan to know that, right at this moment, the woman was in pain. Buffy had
avoided her question. S. She had been so sure ’d thought that she couldher provocationprovoke would have forced
some kind of admission, some acknowledgement ofrom the other “real” slayer of her her feelings, for Willow but
instead she’d only made things worse.
Giles smirked slightly at the bravado of the chained ex-slayer before him. “It would seem that at this moment my
dear, you are the one most in need of saving.,” Hhe stated inclining his head towards Buffy.
“Trust me, Watcher man; . I’m exactly where I should be … where I need to be,.” ” Faith affirmed with a sadness
that surprised herim.
Meanwhile, Xander placed his arm gently around the small shoulders of his body- sswitched oldest and closest palfriend
and drewguided her out of the mansion to the stone seat in the court yard. He could still feel slight trembling
from her and, glancing at Buffy, he felt the urge to go over and knock some sense into his other dear friend, .
And, truth be told, knowing that right now he probably could do so certainly didn’t help him to resist the urge.
‘How can two people so much in love, cause each other so much pain?’
* * * *
Angel slowly slumped slowly into his favourite ‘brooding chair’ as Cordelia would often putcall it. He had missed
its comforting support and solitude these last few weeks. As he gazed into the dark shadows of his home, he allowed
his mind to wander over recent events.
Akvan had been a challenging foe, with sharp fangs, horns, claw- like toenails and deadly tail; he had been quite
a sight roaming the backwatersCentral Cascades of Washington State. Reports of the “monster” by hikers from Seattle
and forest rangers had not been at all exaggerated. Unlike with Angel, daylight hadn’t prevented his travels and
capturing him had proved a lengthy and somewhat difficult job. God, Angel hated the great outdoors.
It had taken Wesley quite some time to uncover that the Persian divinity really only had one weakness. According
to the epic poem Shah-Nameh, which he had insisted on reading at length to Angel;, Akvan’s unique characteristic
was that he always did the opposite of what was asked of him.
However, this trait had been quite difficult to use, as word games were not really something that Angel had ever
had to consider during a battle and so his first few attempts had proved to be somewhat embarrassing. But he’d
finally got the hang of it and now Akvan was chained and being prepared for his journey back to the appropriate
era of Persian history, courtesy of a powerful coven in Ventura.
Wesley had finally got them home and left him alone. Angel had his first truly sweet taste of solitude in weeks.
So here he sat, staring into the darkness, wishing his mind was blank. But, it was still still there in a corner
of his mind, remainedthere in a corner, his initial reaction to the news that Cordelia had gone to Sunnydale, to
help Faith. He’d felt disappointed, h. He’d expected her to be here when he returned, h. He wouldn’t admit it out
loud but Angel missed her.
He’d missed her no- nonsense approach to him. She wasn’t scared of him. Wesley still had a kind of awe/ competition
thing going on where Angel was concerned. But Cordelia, she just saw him for what he was. He enjoyed her continual
attempts to drag him into the modern world, just as Buffy had. According to herCordy, he was a semi-human being
in transit, and Cordy’s own personal project. During his battle, he had also thought Reminded of Faith, and during
his battle; her apparent need to disobey orders and go against the grain, he. Angel resigned himself to the fact
that Cordelia had a new project.
And sSo also thinking fondly of the sweet and loyal Willow, he realized that tonight all the women he loved, respected
and cared for were in Sunnydale. He felt truly alone and for once it wasn’t as comfortable as he had expected.
* * * *
Giles crouched down and ran his eyes over Faith, checking for injuries. Apart from a few slight bruises, he
saw nothing to greatly concern him. What he did see was a serious young woman, a tired young woman, not at all
the same delinquent girl that had left Sunnydale not that long ago. He couldn’t get Faithher to make eye contact
with him at this close range and he thought he could almost feel her trying to stillingcalm herself in response
to his invasion of her space. Acknowledging her discomfort at having him so close, he stood again and moved away.
“It would seem that you’ll live.,” Hhe stated, passing his judgemjudgmentent on her condition to the room in general
as well.
“Figures.,” Faith responded, still avoiding hisany eye contact.
‘What is this girl trying to do?’ hHe wondered. He had been struck by the absence of any sign that she considered
the events they had just witnessed as a victory. The Faith he recalled would have been internally crowing at having
almost made Buffy loose it. ‘There’s far more to going on here than meets the eyejust what I can see.,’ Hhe thoughts,
turning his head to stare at the arched back of his disempowerabled charge. ‘Much more.’
Stepping toward Buffy’s stillunmoving form, he took a deep breath. Swallowing his earlier desire to reprimand her
for her actions, he simply called to her. “Buffy?” He sawdetected a faint twitch,. ‘wWell, at least she heard me,
at least.’ “Buffy?” Hhe tried again, t just a little louder. This time the slight raising of her head, acknowledged
his call. “Are you okayall right?”
Buffy slowly turned to face him, unsure what to say, how to respond. She had never felt so lost, so confused, so
vulnerable. Mostly because she knew that this situation was somehow mostly her own fault but she couldn’t figure
out how to fix it. Glancing into Giles’ sympathetic eyes, she felt the urge to do something she had very rarely
if ever done -, she wanted to run into his arms and find the safety, the refuge that she hadn’t felt since her
Ffather had left. That infantilechildish belief that your parent or guardians could make it all better, make the
pain go away, with a hug or a kiss, sorely tempteddrew her. She wanted to be small and carefree, to have none of
these heart wrenching concerns and fears, none of the responsibilities. But as ever she held back, as she always
did, stifling her self- serving desire and need for comfort and solace. Instead she weakly smiled at him weakly
before nodding in response to his inquiry.
* * * *
Xander tried to calm Willow by offering her a hug but, resolutely, she twisted away from him and stood up from
the stone bench. Holding her hand up, Willow effectively prevented him from either speaking or attempting to hug
her again. His stomach clenched in knots. ‘My brave little Willow, why are you being so guarded and unresponsive?’
he wondered, so sure that after hearing what she had just heard she would now finally let it all out and ask for
his help.
But Willow stood staring into the mansion at the shadowed figures of Faith, Giles and Buffy, trying to make sense
in her mind of what she had heard. What everyone had heard and why Buffy had said nothing? She was sure, as she
thought about it, that Faith had been trying to bait Buffy. ‘Why else would she say all that? Faith has no way
of knowing how I feel and she probably cares even less. Hell, even I’m not sure what to do with how I feel, I mean
I know I love her but what does that mean? Loving someone doesn’t make them love you. Xander taught me that. What
was I expecting Buffy to say? But Faith saying it out loud. Why? What’s Faith after? What’s she got to gain?’ She
pushed aside the pain of having her feelings made public as she fought to use her logic rather than her emotions.
Emotions would not help her at all right now. Although the urge to vanish into Xander’s offered hug was tempting,
both she and Buffy needed her to figure out what was going on. She could not afford to allow herself to wallow
in some teen angst moment fueled by unrequited love and low self-esteem.
As Xander watched her begin to pace around the courtyard, from the corner of his eye, he saw Buffy approaching.
His natural instincts led him to stand and prepare to stop her from disturbing Willow. But as his eyes met hers,
he saw such confusion, pain and such an earnest silent plea to leave them alone that he backed down. Nodding, he
passed her and re-entered the mansion, mentally crossing every finger and toe he possessed.
“Will,” Buffy called out hesitantly as she moved towards the pacing figure of the woman who owned her heart, unsure
what exactly she was going to say.
Willow froze. She had been in mid-analysis, lost in her own thoughts and feelings. She had just about managed to
convince herself that what she had seen was about Buffy and Faith, even though the topic had been her and Buffy.
She understood that her pain was simply the result of the knowledge that this was all going to end soon. What she
still couldn’t figure out was what Faith had been fishing for.
“Will, I’m sorry,” Buffy sincerely offered, not at all sure exactly what she was apologizing for but clever enough
to know that an apology was needed. She only wished any of her former boyfriends had learned this simple rule.
“Its okay,” Willow replied, remaining with her back to her beloved, not sure that she could hold her emotions together,
not sure that the sight of Buffy’s soul wouldn’t cause her momentary clarity and logic to crumble. And then she
was so afraid that all of her pain would come tumbling out.
“Will, you have to believe me! I would never do anything to hurt you or put you in harm’s way. You know that, right?”
Buffy asked, seeking the reassurance that she hadn’t just made everything worse. At the same time she re-affirmed
her promise to herself that she would always keep Willow as safe as she possibly could. She cared too much to ever
let how she felt or what she wanted cause her beloved injury or put her at risk.
“Yeah, I know,” Willow assured her, feeling that part of her was lying. She believed that Buffy had to know that
she was breaking her heart. Surely the woman she loved couldn’t be that blind? How could she not know that what
Faith had said was true?
“You’re forgiven. Okay?” Willow stated, part of her just wanting Buffy to leave her alone to figure everything
out. But part of her knowing that everything she was going through was Faith’s fault, not Buffy’s. “Look, I know
for a fact that talking to Faith is like being in an alternate reality,” she offered.
“Tell me about it,” Buffy agreed. But she was still concerned that Willow wouldn’t turn around to face her, and
so quietly she gave in to the need to explain her own confusion. “This whole thing has me … What we shared … was
so much more than I … I mean, we know so much about each other now … and it scares me, Will. I don’t want things
to change. I can’t risk losing you.”
Willow’s heart ached at the emotion in Buffy’s voice and she involuntarily turned to gaze into the soul of her
best friend. She realized immediately that she’d made a mistake as soon as she saw the raw desperation in Buffy’s
eyes.
Buffy was lost for a moment as she tried to readjust herself to the sight of Willow’s soul in her own eyes. Nothing
about this body-switch was getting easier. She wanted to reach out and take Willow into her arms, whisper promises
into her ear and kiss all the pain she had caused away, removing her guilty feelings. But she shook her selfish
needs aside and she pushed on. “With all this weirdness I’m constantly worried that I’m going to say or do something
that will convince you that being my best friend just isn’t worth it,” she explained weakly. “I need you to trust
me, Will. I’m scared that one day you’re just going to realize we have nothing in common and that I’m not worth
your time and trouble, then you’ll decide to get on with your life and leave me,” Buffy babbled almost Willow-like.
“That will never happen. You’re m … this is my life,” Willow assured her, with no doubt in her heart that she meant
it. She would be beside this woman for the rest of her life, no matter how this situation ended. “I don’t want
to lose you either,” Willow said momentarily pulling her eyes away.
Buffy smiled shyly. “Gee, this mushy stuff is kinda awkward.” Then she gave into her feelings, reaching out to
gently take Willow’s hand in hers and squeezing it. “Why is this so difficult?”
“What?” Willow asked, not sure what Buffy was referring to and unnerved by the unexpected physical contact. Buffy’s
skin so warm against her own. She felt so good. Buffy wasn’t normally a touchy feely person, especially lately,
so that even brief moments of friendly contact had become precious to Willow.
“Saying what I mean ...” Buffy remarked, before quickly clarifying her words, “It’s always been so easy for us
to talk about anything. But now … being able to talk to you about, how all of this is making us feel is … just
so hard.”
“Unfamiliar territory I guess,” Willow commented, throwing a slight grin at her dear friend and squeezing her hand
in an attempt to offer comfort. “I mean we’ve had to cope with … what’s … happened,” she began to gulp, refusing
to expand on what she had started to say. “And all that’s being thrown at us … what people will think … what people
will say. And as much as we may want to think it doesn’t make and won’t make our friendship any different …” She
paused, gathering her courage before quietly adding “the fact remains, Buffy – that it has, it does and it will.”
Nodding in quiet acceptance of Willow’s wise words, Buffy sighed “Guess we were a bit dumb to think it wouldn’t.”
“Yeah. Pretty dumb,” Willow agreed smirking. “So as right now I’m the natural blond, what’s your excuse?”
* * * *
Seeing smiles followed by shy laughter, Giles was lost for a moment in relief. Taking a deep breath, however,
he returned to the business at hand and turning towards Xander, he saw fit to remind the young man that he need
to be elsewhere, “I believe you still have someone to pick up.”
Xander looked at him momentarily confused before recalling that they had been on their way to pick up Cordelia.
“Oh yeah. Right,” he muttered looking around the mansion in the vain hope that something might rescue him from
his fate but nothing materialized to save him from his ‘you will re-live your failures with all your ex-es now’
destiny. Sighing, he nodded towards Giles and glancing only briefly at Faith, he allowed himself one last look
at his two favorite people in the courtyard before heading sheepishly towards them.
As he reached the doorway, he tried to think of something appropriate to say. Thankfully where these two women
were concerned, his instinct for self-preservation took over and he reached the conclusion that had escaped many
a man over the years -- the best option was to say nothing at all.
So he passed them, resisting the urge to stare; instead allowing his mind to wander into the realm of utter fear
that filled him when he thought about seeing Cordy again after all this time.
* * * *
Buffy laughed out loud as she gazed at her dearest friend and suddenly found herself smiling broadly. Just being
this close to Willow, just holding her hand made Buffy feeling like a giddy school girl, full of anticipation,
nervousness, her heart a-flutter. It felt wonderful, exhilarating, so sweet and intoxicating. Dear Goddess, how
could she give this up? How could she ever think that just having Willow as a friend would ever be enough again?
But, how could she put Willow in the danger she knew would come from letting her mean that much to her … from letting
others know how she felt?
Willow giggled and sighed, both relieved that her attempt to lighten the moment had worked so well and yet saddened
that she couldn’t give into the urge to lean forward, to pull this woman that she loved so much into her arms and
kiss her. She would have given anything to let her know that Faith had been right on the mark, but fear of rejection
held her back as it always seemed to.
As their laughter subsided, neither one seemed ready to separate and Buffy found her eyes drawn to their joined
hands. As she gazed down she couldn’t help thinking that letting go of Willow’s hand would mean accepting that
they had to part, and she just couldn’t give in to the loss and dull ache that she knew would follow. She absently
allowed her thumb to gently move over Willow’s skin.
Giles coughed loudly before stepping out onto the courtyard, holding his glasses before him as if some offending
smudge was preventing him from putting them back on his face. “Umm … I apologize for interrupting but I felt I
should let you know that Cordelia will be here shortly. It would be prudent to try and get a few things cleared
up before she arrives.”
“Cordelia?” both women questioned, letting their hands fall apart, as Giles’ news had the effect of throwing cold
water on their gentle moment together.
* * * *
The silence was deafening as Cordelia sat next to Xander. Their brief reunion chat had lasted to the parking
lot, coming to a complete stop as Xander pulled onto the highway. Each so lost in the sheer awkwardness of being
in each other’s company that they didn’t notice the black sedan carefully following them at a safe distance.
“So Anya … a demon?” Cordelia asked, eager to talk about anything that would break the tension, even Xander’s latest
ill-fated romance.
“Ex-demon,” Xander stated before he could help himself, only to hear what he thought was a slight laugh from Cordelia.
“I’ll have you know that some demons are considered valued members of society,” he added, suddenly feeling as if
Anya was actually in the car too and he had to defend her.
“Preaching to the choir here,” Cordelia stated, recalling her reaction to the revelation that Doyle was a demon.
She’d been so angered at his secrecy and his unspoken belief that she would never accept him, that it had taken
her quite some time to forgive him for dying on her, let alone giving her his visions.
Xander’s eyes grew wide as he realized that Cordy had just agreed with him.
“I just can’t figure out how on earth you got a street-smart man-hating vengeance demon to put up with you. I mean,
considering your well-known obsession with Buffy and Willow, I’m surprised you haven’t been flayed alive yet,”
she commented unable to resist teasing him. “Maybe I should have a word with her.”
Xander mentally shrank at the thought of Anya and Cordelia meeting to discuss him. ‘It’s like some twilight zone
episode - A man walks down a street … it’s a strange … Oh my god, I’m gonna die. They’re gonna kill me.’ He found
himself in a full-blown panic as he realized that the women he was bringing together – Anya, Cordelia, Faith, Buffy
and Willow; combined they knew more about him than he could really face. Needing to get the upper hand here, he
said to his dark-haired passenger “Then again maybe I should ask Faith to help Anya with her tan? I understand
she’s become quite an expert in that area, hasn’t she?”
* * * *
“I’ll tell you what you’ve done. You’ve taken away my strength, my abilities. You’re keeping me from doing my
job,” Buffy angrily informed her chained counterpart. “You’ve put everyone, the whole world at risk, especially
Willow, with this damned switch. But then again, maybe you’re trying to finish what you started when you threatened
to kill her.”
“That was in the past, B. Let it go. You’re so not interested that I’m sorry, so let’s move past it,” Faith sighed,
“You have to believe me, B, when I tell you that I’m here to help.”
“Oh, so now you want to be friends, to help” Buffy laughed bitterly. “I tried to be your friend. I welcomed you
into my life, into my home. Then you turned on me … on us,” Buffy spat accusingly. “But I kept trying, even after
you tried to frame me for a murder you committed. The others, they all thought I was crazy to keep trying. Cuz
each and every time I tried, you kicked me in the face. You tried to kill me. You tried to take over the world
with the Mayor and you even tried to hurt Willow. You tried to kill her and now you’ve put her in danger again,”
she stated, clenching her jaw and her fists. “And you want me to trust you?”
Faith turned to look at Red, winking at her before replying to Buffy “Seems to me that Red here’s been taking pretty
good care of herself as your sidekick. She’s been doing it for years, B. Plus now she has insider Slayer know-how
and, ooowwweee, let’s not forget the Wiccan-fiddling and computer smarts. B, you really should have more confidence
in Red.”
“You don’t understand the danger you’re putting her … us in. Let’s face it, you probably don’t care,” Buffy shot
at her, more than a little unnerved by Faith’s apparent praising of Willow. “This isn’t about doing us a favor.
This is about something else entirely and we both know it.” She glared before turning her back on Faith and stepping
away from the woman who always managed to get under her skin.
“Remember when you said I helped you end it with Angel?” Faith asked, desperately searching for a way of getting
through to Buffy. “Well, it turns out I did both of you … hell, all three of you a favor. Only you’re running so
scared you can’t or won’t see it. I get it, B. I understand; honest, I do.”
Buffy turned to glare at Faith, “You don’t understand anything about me. You never did.”
“I may understand you better than Red or, even, you do,” Faith commented. “B, don’t you see what not admitting
your true feelings is doing to her … and to you?”
* * * *
Keeping his car back far enough so that he could the safely watch the dark-haired couple ahead of him, the mysterious
stalker felt that their meeting hadn’t been as he had expected. He had presumed from the amount of time the woman
had taken in the ladies’ room that she was meeting someone special but from the minute the guy from the slayer’s
dorm had arrived, they had really done nothing but keep a very awkward distance … other than … well … he could
only describe it as bickering.
He could see their heads moving in high animation as they drove towards the less populated area of Sunnydale north
of the park. He wondered where they were going since the Slayer’s home was to the south of the park and the magic
shop to the east.
All this watching was giving him a headache. His limbs ached for some action, some payback for the large bruise
on his right cheek and his mind screamed for something to keep his first visit to the Hellmouth from being a complete
failure.
* * * *
“You know, for the longest time I was angry with you,” Faith commented in response to Buffy’s accusations that
this was all about revenge. “It started out as something small, like most things do. Sunnyhell was supposed to
be my town, with my demons, my Watcher, my time to shine. The whole thing should’ve been mine, maybe even my own
Scoobies. Except the resident Slayer wasn't dead like she was supposed to be. Nope. Saint Buffy, mistress of all
she surveyed, had beaten death and I was just supposed to join the fawning masses. Not my usual style but I gave
it a try. I was just warming up to Sunnydale, to being number two of the Chosen Two, to the synchronized slaying.
But I was having trouble dealing, I was bummed out always having to step aside and play second fiddle to you, to
Red and the Scoobies. And then I … I accidentally killed the Mayor’s assistant,” she said quickly and quietly.
“And it all fell apart. I really and truly screwed everything up, didn’t I?” she laughed sadly, glancing at Buffy.
“Everything just got so messed up, so wrong. And then you, little Miss Perfect Slayer, you stabbed me. Turns out
Saint Buffy had a pair of cajones after all. Who would’ve ‘thunk’ it … hmm? I still can't believe you really stabbed
me,” Faith commented, losing her train of thought momentarily. She smiled sadly and shook her head as she recalled
that fateful day.
Buffy found she couldn’t drag her eyes from Faith, her eyes drawn, by the resignation in the other slayer’s voice,
to the chained woman’s abdomen where she remembered that damn blade just sticking out. It had seemed so unreal,
as if a dream. But it hadn’t been. Like Faith, she still couldn’t believe that she had actually stabbed the other
slayer either.
Willow stared at her beloved, willing her to say something but all Buffy seemed to be able to do was to stare at
Faith. “You were trying to kill Angel,” Willow offered in Buffy’s moral defense, stepping closer to the Slayer
to add her physical support.
A noise caught Giles’ attention and turning his head, he saw Xander and Cordelia quietly entering from the courtyard.
Catching their eyes, he motioned them to stay where they were. Xander put a hand on Cordelia’s arm as his eyes
begged her to stay still.
“Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have messed with Dead Boy. But by that time I was doin’ whatever the Mayor wanted. I thought
he was making me part of something important,” she admitted, almost childishly embarrassed. “You know, from the
moment I met you I’ve always wondered if you had the same dark trigger inside you that, if pushed, would make you
kill someone. And you did… didn’t you, B? I sure found it. Seems slaying isn’t all we shared,” Faith sighed, her
eyes dropping as she recalled how she used to love letting the darkness overtake her. “We all know I’m no hairy-armpit,
tree-hugging feminist, so when I say that I have only ever met four women with the kind of courage you have or
used to have, you’ll know I mean it,” she stated, as her mind drifted briefly back to LA.
“That was meant to be a compliment, right?” Buffy asked, subconsciously wondering who the other four women were.
“Yes and no,” Faith smirked, tilting her head. “Cuz now, you’ve been knocked down a peg. But maybe not just a peg
though, hmmm…? You've pretty much had your safe little world pulled right out from under you and instead of sucking
it up and doing what you know is right, you’re just letting yourself fall all the way into Achy-Breaky-Heart-Hell,
like some dumb-ass starry-eyed school girl. Damn it, B,” Faith accused “You know better. How can you two be such
cowards? You let this happen and the scar won’t ever heal. Red, you’re the brains of the outfit. Work it out!”
she demanded of Willow. “I can’t believe you’re both being so dumb. If you let this slip through your fingers,
it’ll stay with you forever, like a great big ugly tear in your soul. We all get what we deserve, B. YOU let this
go wrong and you’re gonna be paying forever. You’ll always be trying to put it right, never knowing if you can
and always wondering what your life would have been like if you had. And what’s worse – you won’t be the only one
who’ll be paying the price forever.”
“So you’re here to save me from myself? How sweet,” Buffy stated, trying to inject disbelief and annoyance into
her words. But somehow she couldn’t quite manage it. Something about what Faith had said, the way she had said
it, had hit where she lived, where she loved. Buffy found herself checking where Willow was, wondering what she
was making of all this. Somehow knowing that there was a clock ticking out there, that with each moment of hesitation
it was crawling towards her midnight … towards ‘too late’, the thought made her waver. But as she stared at Faith,
she couldn’t get past her instinctual distrust. “Picturing you as the hopeless romantic best friend to the lovelorn,
as our own personal cupid is almost as weird as watching you bake cookies for Cordy. Where’s all this coming from
Faith? What’s this really about?”
“You may not be able to believe it, but I’m here to save you from something far worse than just yourselves, from
someone who could hurt you in a way I never could. Trust me, you don't want to end up the way everybody said I
would,” Faith stated quietly, “Alone, a loser, dead. Maybe it's too late for me, B. God knows I deserve it. But
that’s no reason for you two to be so scared. You can do this. You still have a chance. You still have choices.
You still have a way out.”
Cordelia’s heart ached for the chained dark-haired woman. She longed to move forward and make her presence known;
fulfilling the need she felt to let Faith know she was there for her, that she wasn’t alone in this. But she could
see that Faith was getting through to them. So as difficult as it was, she held herself back.
“I have to say that I, for one, am a little uncertain how a curse which appears to have only one way out, can be
seen as a choice?” Giles absently questioned, immediately regretting speaking aloud and breaking into their conversation.
“Yeah. What’s with the curse?” Willow demanded, jumping into the fray. “The body-switch! Why push this whole thing
on us? What made you think that we … how could Angel know … how could they think … that I feel … that Buffy could
feel … that we … feelings for each other … like that? Where did that come from … what? Why?” Willow babbled, immediately
wishing she hadn’t started as she caught Buffy’s sharp intake of breath.
“Honey, anyone visiting the planet of ‘Buffy and Willow’ feels like they’ve been watching Brokeback Mountain meets
Beaches. It’s like watching a train wreck for God’s sake. What you two need is to sit down for a truth or dare
with Dr. Ruth,” Faith gibed, relieved that Willow was finally talking to her. “You’re stuck in a rut, ankle- deep
and safe. Both of you are so afraid to change anything, risk anything. You’ve gotten too comfortable. And friendly
advice from your favorite Queen C and delivered by yours truly, the slayer you love to hate, just wasn’t going
to do it,” she stated, unsure that even now she was getting anywhere. “You’re not that big on the listening to
your Watcher. So what chance did we have?” Faith commented nodding slightly towards Giles, who swallowed and looked
away. “Let’s see, if talking isn’t enough to get you two lust bunnies together – then I don’t know what is. Oh
wait. But I do - what about making you two repressed Ellen's walk in each other’s sexually bottled-up hot little
bods for a bit and watch the fireworks?”
“You watched?” Willow screeched, before she could stop herself, unable to believe what she had just heard, her
mind a red haze of fury and embarrassment. Willow stepped towards Faith, yelling at the chained and obviously amused
slayer, as she felt the heat beginning to rise both in her cheeks and, more frighteningly, in her current slayer
blood. “How could you … that’s sick … SICK!! When did you … even …? Even Xander wouldn’t … okay – he’d think about
it, but he wouldn’t dare do it … PRIVATE!! Sooooo not for watching. There was … there were … circumstances. We
were … it was about…” She paused trying vainly to remember what those two wonderful nights had been about. ‘OH,
yeah’. “Trying to break the curse … circumstances. Private!! And did I say -- NOT FOR WATCHING.” she finished,
now almost within punching distance.
Cordelia just couldn’t hold her laughter in and she howled as five pairs of eyes flew to her.
* * * *
The mysterious stalker had watched Cordelia and Xander enter the mansion, somewhat bemused to discover their
destination. The last place he had expected the pair that he had followed from the bus station to end up had been
at some run down mansion, which looked like it had been left over from the Rocky Horror Show.
He had carefully followed them around to the back of the manor and into the courtyard. Glancing in, he could hardly
believe his luck. They were all there, the entire group from Sunnydale, in a nicely deserted part of town. But
then he saw Faith chained to the fireplace and he beat a hasty retreat back to the street.
Glancing around, he recalled that as he’d driven down the road earlier he’d noticed a payphone. Rushing towards
it, he lifted the receiver and dialed, dropping his coins into the slot. “Sir, I have their final location. But
we may have a bigger problem.”
* * * *
Cordelia strode forward, throwing a quick reassuring smile at Faith as she turned to Giles. “Are those really
necessary?” she asked, gesturing towards Faith’s chains.
“For the present, I would have to say yes,” Giles concluded, glancing at Buffy. “Thank you for coming. Maybe now
we can get a few things cleared up.”
“I’m sure that’s exactly what you’d like,” Cordelia said, raising her hand to him. “But I want some time alone
with Faith first,” she stated, meeting Giles’ questioning look with one of sheer determination. “I need to talk
to her. Now.”
He sighed, considering his options. It was probably a good idea to give Buffy and Willow a break, some time to
think. Maybe some of what Faith had said would finally sink in. He had been quite impressed and had felt a sort
of pride at the observations Faith had made, but her use of a curse to bring them together still bothered him greatly.
Maybe Cordelia was the person she would talk to; explain why she had used the curse, where it had come from and
why. Going on instinct, he nodded his agreement before turning to the all too-quiet duo and gesturing that they
should move towards the back of the mansion.
Buffy gave him a questioning look of protest but the sight of Willow quietly doing as Giles had requested broke
her objection before it began and she followed the woman she was far more concerned about.
“You’ll excuse me if I don’t go far,” Giles commented, but Cordelia ignored him as she moved towards her chained
friend.
Xander stood awkwardly, not quite sure where he should go. He really wanted to give Buffy and Willow some space
but aside from hiding in the courtyard he couldn’t think where he could go. Giles, seeing Xander’s predicament,
gestured for him to follow and headed towards the old entrance hall of the mansion’s large living area. The Watcher
was positive that in doing so they would be giving both pairs of women more than enough privacy without letting
the dark Slayer out of their view. The sight of the door to his left and the memory of all that had happened to
him in the room beyond caused a chill to run down the Watcher’s back, making him question his choice of relocation.
As they reached the back of the living area, Buffy reached for Willow and turning her, she placed her hand gently
under the slightly red-faced chin of her beloved. Lifting Willow’s slightly red face she smiled into her eyes.
“We’ll be fine,” she reassured her before doing something she had been longing to do. Buffy pulled her beloved
into a warm and tender embrace, closing her eyes and allowing herself to feel the warmth of their bodies.
Willow gave into the need for Buffy’s warmth, her closeness, her breathing and, gasping in relief, she threw her
arms tightly around the woman she loved so much that it was beginning to hurt. Everything had been brought up to
the surface. She had seen what she thought was pity in Faith’s eyes. She pitied them. The idea that anyone, especially
Faith, could feel like that about them had thrown her. And then she’d gone and opened her mouth and asked or tried
to ask the one question she had promised herself she wouldn’t ask. The answer had been … too … she couldn’t deal
with what it might mean. But, if they’d been watched … Cordelia’s laughter had washed over her like ice, numbing
her mind.
* * * *
Anya glared at the mansion, somehow believing that just the right thought, just the right phrase would make
it crumble around its current inconsiderate occupants, leaving them standing in the ruins and knowing exactly how
pissed off she was with them. Where did they get off treating her like she was a nobody? She missed the respect
and recognition her powers had once brought her. People had sought her advice. She had often been admired and envied
by lesser demons. But Xander’s little group – the Scoobies. Bah! They treated her as an annoyance. Even Giles who,
okay, had a little more class than most, often dismissed her very helpful insights.
They had allowed Willow to injure her and then, having promised to care for her, they had left her alone. Giles
had taken Xander away from her. She’d sat stewing at first but Willow’s telephone call had just pushed her over
the edge. ‘What am I - his answer machine? I don’t think so. I have rights. Xander had explained about rights during
Planet of the Apes. If guys dressed in really bad fur coats can have them so can I’ she had decided before storming
out of their apartment and heading across a part of town she would normally have avoided. Her anger was so evident
in her striding form that those who had noticed her had given her a wide berth.
Taking a deep breath, she scrunched up her lips and squinted at the mansion in anticipation that she was about
to let off some major steam and make them realize that she was a real person … that her needs were just as important
as Buffy’s or Willow’s. Xander had stopped seeing to her needs because of Buffy and Willow, and the ex-demon was
starting to get pretty irritable. Anya squared her shoulders and strode forward, her eyes so fixed on the heavy
front door that she didn’t notice the agile black shapes of men moving swiftly from both her right and left.
* * * *
“What is it with you guys and bondage?” Cordelia quipped, shaking her head in mock shock as she locked relieved
eyes with Faith.
“Wicked thrills, C. You should try it some time,” Faith responded breaking into a beaming smile, unable to hide
the sheer joy at seeing Cordelia.
“Yeah, that and letting someone drop hot wax on me are so not on my list of things to do before I die,” Cordelia
responded, feeling a slight warmth beginning in her cheeks at some of the thoughts that had momentarily nudged
at the edges of her mind as she kneeled down in front of Faith. “So is this part of your cunning plan then?” she
asked reaching forward and touching the manacles clamped around Faith’s wrists.
“Not so much. But it has its upside. As long as I’m like this, they have to listen to me. I think I’m kinda getting
through as long as B doesn’t tranq me again,” she noted.
“Tranq you?” Cordelia questioned, raising a confused eyebrow.
“There was a whole ‘let’s use a tranquilizer gun on Faith’ episode. Kinda clever really … the downside being a
totally fuzzed-up head and just getting the feeling back in my toes.” Then seeing the concerned look on Cordy’s
face, she added “I’m five by five.”
“Sure,” Cordelia commented, giving Faith a look that said ‘who do you think you’re fooling’. “So exactly how far
along are we?”
“Ooooh, still pretty much a three-ring circus but they’re definitely not in the stands anymore … I can’t think
why they thought it was about sex, not my fault – honest,” she grinned. “Well, let’s just say that it all opened
an unexpected door. They’ve played the pelvic duet, if you know what I mean,” Faith said winking at Cordelia suggestively.
“But damn it, C, that bitching denial fest of theirs is still in play – Go figure,” Faith sighed. “You’d think
that finally sleeping together would have set off some bells and whistles for the dumb duo. You know, a couple
of orgasmic moments of clarity. I mean, I always had Red figured as kinda a closet sex kitten. With all that bottled
up reserve and shyness, I was sure that she would be wild in bed. But hell, maybe it is B and her damn ‘I can’t
do anything simple; everything has to be difficult’ way of doing things.”
“Okay, I think I know what you’re saying. That is, I hope I do and I’m afraid to ask about the rest,” Cordelia
sighed in mock school teacher mode. “It seems that there’s something wrong with the curse.”
“You think?” Faith responded laughing.
“No, Faith. I really mean it”, the Seer added more seriously. “Giles thinks there’s something wrong with it. That’s
why he called and asked me to come.”
“Giles called you?” Faith asked.
“Yeah, he seems to think there’s more to the curse than we think,” she stated, hating herself for holding back
what little she knew and for doubting that Faith wasn’t being completely honest with her.
“Like what?” Faith asked deeply concerned, her light-hearted tone gone.
“I don’t know. Where was it you said you got it?” Cordelia asked as nonchalantly as she dared.
“The guy came highly recommended,” Faith responded defensively, suddenly feeling as if Cordelia was quizzing her.
“Why?”
“By who?” Cordelia fished.
Faith sighed before breaking eye contact and almost whispering “You’re so not gonna like it.”
“Faith!” Cordy pleaded, willing her to tell her the truth. She needed to know that Faith would tell her the truth.
She needed to know that they could trust each other; that the friendship she had felt building over the past month
wasn’t just a fake, like so many before had been.
“A lawyer, the guy who … the guy who worked on … aah … the Mayor’s estate,” Faith whispered, cringing in anticipation
of the screaming she was sure was coming.
Cordelia took a deep breath and held her temper. Now was not the time to go ballistic. She’d have to save that
for later. “Would that be the same lawyer who tried to get you to kill Angel?” she asked, much too quietly for
Faith’s liking.
Faith nodded, dropping her head even further and scrunching her face up in anticipation of the blow-up.
“And why would you think that a recommendation from … That Firm would be a good thing. Just what part of your ‘I
wannabe blond brain’ were you using to make that leap?” she spat. unable to hold her anger back.
“Hey …” Faith retaliated, in automatic indignation. “I used them to get what we needed. No one else had a contact
who could help. I made sure. I watched that backwoods hick. He only cursed them to swap bodies for a month or until
they confessed their love for each other. I read the wording … I checked. I was in control of the situation. That’s
all there was.”
“Oh, so now you’re a Lit major with a minor in Curses. Faith, he messed around with the wording. You read what
he wanted you to read,” Cordelia explained in exasperation. Then seeing the confusion in Faith’s eyes, she gently
added “Honey, they played you.”
* * * *
There has to have been a time when Buffy didn't look at Willow like that but Xander couldn't recall when it
was. He remembered the sheer panic in Buffy’s face when the Mayor and Faith had taken Willow or the look of loss
he’d seen when Tara had come into their lives. But, exactly when he’d figured it out escaped him.
Listening to Cordy and Faith, (mainly because he couldn’t help himself) he was less shocked than he thought he
would be at Faith’s observations regarding his two best friends. And a lot of what she was saying kinda made sense.
Damn it. Cordelia’s acceptance of it all was a real eye opener for him, though, and he was more than a little suspicious
of the way she was talking to Faith, and the way they were looking at each other as well. He'd expected Cordy to
throw around some sarcastic put down about his friends, some lame play on words but she’d actually seemed concerned
for them. It all gave him the heebie-jeebies.
But, what really bothered him was why - if they’d all had these suspicions, why had no one had ever raised the
subject. Maybe just like him, they had doubted what they thought they were seeing or like him they’d put it down
to hormone fueled fantasies. But why would Cordy be … No. He shook his head to rid himself of that fleeting thought.
It must have happened so gradually that the realization had been mostly subconscious - that had to be the ‘why’.
He had to face it – even he had needed the curse and Faith to open his eyes to his subconscious suspicions.
Glancing over at Willow and Buffy, his heart sighed to see them hugging. Lately they tended to keep such a respectable
distance from each other, much more than usual, currently all big on the no personal space invasion. But things
were changing and he liked it. And Xander couldn’t help allowing a moment’s concern to surface - that this would
somehow change their relationship with him.
Recognizing a brief moment of jealousy, he grinned only to have his thoughts interrupted by the sound of loud knocking
and a familiar voice yelling his name.
“Xander! I know you’re in there. Xander!!” Anya yelled from the other side of the mansion’s front door, long ago
sealed shut.
Giles stared at him in amusement, annoyance and expectation.
“Xander, answer me. Let me in,” Anya called, her voice raising an octave. If he could have seen through the door,
he would have seen that she was stamping her foot in irritation.
“I can’t. It’s sealed shut,” he replied, annoyed that she had tracked him down. What did she think he was up to?
“Well unseal it. Now! I need you to come home. You left me,” she stated plaintively, causing Xander to sigh in
resignation.
“Okay, okay. Go left and ‘round to the back, there's a lane that leads to some stone steps,” he explained, unwilling
to leave and give up his ringside seat.
“Why can’t you just come out?” she asked, aggravated that he wasn't rushing to her side.
“Anya, just come around back, and I’ll explain everything,” he responded, certain he'd heard her huff in frustration.
“Okay, but it better be good. You should be at home resting and looking after me,” she reminded him as she moved
from the front door.
Giles smirked, not an expression that often ran across his controlled features. But watching Anya and Xander often
made him more than grateful he was still single.
* * * *
Buffy couldn’t let go. She didn’t want to ever let go. They had been holding each other for what seemed like
an eternity but an awkward stillness had come over them and the warmth of the embrace had gone.
“This feels a little strange,” Willow confessed, suddenly feeling very shy and uncomfortable.
Buffy sighed and gave Willow a quick squeeze, her mind overflowing with all that Faith had said. “I know. But ever
since … I mean with all that’s happened … all we’ve experienced … I’ve thought about … us … so much that … it’s
begun to feel real to me, Will. More real than I ever dreamed …”
“It has?” Willow asked, finally pulling herself from their embrace as she babbled to herself ‘she’s thought of
me? Dreamed of me? How has she thought of me? What has she dreamed? Ever since we … Oh!! … THAT made her think
of me!’ She mentally blushed and continued to babble unable to comprehend why this information made her even more
nervous and shy. “Really?”
“Really,” Buffy assured her, trying to ignore the empty feeling in her arms. Lifting her head, she smiled to find
Willow also gazing at her with eyes as big as saucers. “Do you know,” she asked tilting her head, to gaze at Willow’s
face “that you look totally petrified in my face?”
Willow rolled her eyes, wishing she wasn’t so transparent. “Yeah, I guess I am,” she acknowledged.
“Me too,” Buffy stated laughing nervously. “Downright terrified,” she explained gulping as, despite all her misgivings,
she stumbled towards what she knew she wanted to say … what she needed to say. All the while screaming at herself
to ‘take it slow, don’t scare her off. You can do this.’
Willow raised her head, touched by the sheer sincerity in Buffy’s voice. She allowed relief to flood over her.
“This isn’t about Faith. I need you to know that, Will,” Buffy began, uncertain why talking to Willow was suddenly
more frightening than any fangy night crawler she’d ever met. “This isn’t about the damn curse or the end of the
world, Will. Hell, I don’t know … maybe all that’s happened has helped me get here sooner than … I would have.
But you repeat that to Faith or Cordy and I’ll throw you into a bucket of tadpoles,” she threatened smirking.
“Okay,” Willow responded, unsure where Buffy was going with this. “I think I’ve got it. Not about the curse, the
end of the world or Faith. Never breathe a word, especially to Cordy or Faith,” Willow repeated. “No tadpoles,
please,” she pleaded in a vain attempt at light relief, her voice almost breaking as her stomach began Olympic
somersaults. Her mind had finally pulled the conversation together and what Buffy was talking about suddenly became
scarily and wonderfully obvious! She didn’t dare wish for what she thought Buffy was going to say. She just waited
for Buffy to continue.
Buffy took a deep breath and began “I would really like the chance to … for us to … for me to get to … being so
close to you … I mean, what we’ve shared … I think maybe there’s a possibility that we could … I’d really like
to … Not in that way! I mean that way was nice…” Buffy blushed and coughed. “More than nice … Mind blowing.” Buffy
gulped again, wondering if she’d ever get it out. She couldn’t believe that now that she had finally decided what
to do, finally decided to be honest – that she couldn’t find the words.
Willow stood stony still, afraid to move. She’d considered not breathing but air had become an issue.
“What I mean is … I never thought that I would stand a chance … I mean you’re so clever and smart, so beautiful,
so brave… and if you don’t want to … I’ll understand … I’m probably not your type…. but I … I’d like to get to
know you better … that is … not in a friends’ way but in a … Not that we’re not friends … because we are … and
always will be best friends”, Buffy continued her Willow-like babble. “But in that … well, in this way,” she said
and giving up on words for a moment she reached forward to gently stroke Willow’s cheek with the back of her hand,
before leaning in and quietly adding “You know…. like da … Dating?”
“Dating?” Willow whispered awkwardly, unable to stop herself from nervously laughing at Buffy’s choice of words,
as soft flames burned her caressed cheek, only to see her own face blanch in an all too familiar way. Willow’s
hand instinctively went to her beloved’s, cupping it gently against her face. “You want to … date me?” Willow asked,
her tone as bewildered as she. All she could do was blink, her mind in total disbelief. It did not compute. Those
weren’t exactly the words she had been hoping for, but heck … not bad … no, not bad at all …
“Yeah. Is that the wrong word or something? Is there some special word or terminology that I’m supposed to be using?”
Buffy asked, her face now completely red. She tried to recall if Willow had ever used another word to describe
the relationship she had had with Tara. She had never felt so like a fish out of water. Why wasn’t there a book
or a class? Yes, she could have taken a class – ‘Lesbian speak for the clueless’, something idiot-proof.
“No,” Willow assured her, smiling as her heart seemed ready to burst at the meaning behind Buffy’s words. “Dating
is just fine. I just can’t believe I’m … that you’re asking … I mean you are asking, right? … You want to date
me?”
“Yes, please,” Buffy replied in a very small voice.
Willow’s heart soared at the look she saw in the eyes of the woman she loved, and then the world seemed to explode
before her, a blinding white light that screamed at her. Then she heard the explosion, so loud, so deafening, that
throwing her hands up to her ears she closed her eyes. The pain was so sharp and falling to the floor she thought
that her slayer-sensitive eardrums might shatter.
Faith could still hear and feel the ringing in her ears as the explosion assaulted her senses. She’d caught
sight of a figure dressed in black by the courtyard doors mere seconds before the world had been drowned out by
a blinding white light and deafening sound. Straining at the chains, her slayer instincts told her that bad stuff
was about to hit the fan and she needed to get free.
Deep male voices broke into her mind as the slayer healing allowed her to recover from the traumatic effects of
the blast. “She’s at the back” Faith heard one of them say and then the sound of many feet on the mansion’s stone
floor.
Feeling Cordelia’s hand tighten around her wrist, she suddenly recalled that she wasn’t alone. “C, you okay?” Hearing
a grunt, she added “They’re after B. Where is she?”
“What?” Cordelia yelled, trying to regain her hearing.
“Where’s B … and Red?” Faith shouted back.
“At the back … I think,” Cordelia replied shaking her head in the hope of removing the pain in her ears and the
camera-flash effect that was fogging her eyesight.
Faith saw more dark shapes passing by her, moving towards the rear of the mansion. She strained at her chains,
the need to do something overwhelming her. This was her party and she hadn’t invited anyone else. “Buffy!” she
called out, somehow feeling that by yelling out her counterpart’s name she could at least warn her and help matters.
“Someone, get me out of these fucking chains!!” she screamed in frustration, just as she noticed someone moving
in front of her. Throwing out her leg, she heard that satisfying sound of him falling.
Xander had closed his eyes in frustration at Anya’s behavior just as the flash and bang had hit. Having been deafened,
instinct had kept his eyes closed until he heard the sound of running feet. Realizing something was terribly wrong,
he pushed himself forward, only to be grabbed by a strong pair of hands and thrown backwards. Glancing up, he saw
the familiar black uniform of his earlier attackers. ‘Where had they come from? The courtyard … oh god, Anya?’
but just as he was about to anxiously search for his girlfriend, he heard Faith call out, in what sounded like
fear, to Buffy. A cold chill ran over him as, turning towards the fireplace, he saw Cordy crumpled in front of
Faith, still holding her ears and vainly shaking her head.
For some strange reason he’d expected to see the dark Slayer gazing down at Cordelia but Faith was pulling and
struggling with her chains, eyes fixed firmly on the back of the mansion. Turning to follow her gaze, he saw three
big men moving towards Buffy and Willow.
Although Buffy was on her knees, he was reassured when he saw her lift her head, as they came towards her. But
then Xander saw the expression of sheer confusion and panic on her face. ‘Oh God, NOooooo’ his mind screamed as
he remembered that he was actually looking at Willow.
Willow gazed straight ahead, trying frantically to comprehend what had just happened. One minute Buffy was asking
her out and the next she had been blinded and deafened. As her eyes cleared, she saw three men heading towards
her. Fear overtook her, as she heard Faith’s desperate voice calling out to Buffy. She glanced to her side to see
the crouching form of Buffy and her intense need to protect what she had only just found overpowered her fears.
Buffy’s world had been turned inside out. Her nervous anticipation of Willow’s response to her request for a date
had been shattered as she was first blinded and then deafened. Instinct made her drop to the ground, all romantic
thoughts driven from her mind, as her senses were assaulted. As she’d buckled, her knees had hit the ground with
such force that she was certain there would be yet more bruising. ‘How does Willow cope? WILLOW!!’
Ignoring the searing pain in her ears and her temporary blindness, she tried to reach out and find Willow as her
hands fumbled in search of her beloved. “Willow!” Shaking her head she tried to clear her vision before attempting
to open her eyes. She needed to know what was going on, where Willow was, that she was safe.
Faith saw that the guys moving towards Buffy and Red were splitting up as another three positioned themselves around
the room to secure their retreat.
Glancing towards the old hallway, she saw Xander turning his head towards Buffy and Willow but what caught her
attention was the sudden look of concern and intensity that crossed his features. Knowing that he was about to
throw himself into the fray with little or no hope of winning, she was filled with both jealousy at her inability
to do the same and concern for him. And somewhere inside, she was unable to stop herself from resenting the fact
that no one had ever done that for her.
A slight moan caught her attention and she looked down to see Cordy beginning to raise herself up from her partly
fetal position.
What followed was chaos, as Faith watched Willow trying to regain her feet as two of the three men launched themselves
at Buffy. Hearing a scream, the dark-haired slayer glanced to her right to see Xander being thrown to the ground.
She saw Giles was still huddled on the floor as Xander tried to get up again. A body flew past her and, turning
back, she saw Willow, having dispatched one of her assailants, turning on the two men now trying to manhandle Buffy
to her feet. “Go, Red!!”
Although both Slayers had the intense desire and almost physical need to fight these intruders and protect the
others, each ached at her inability to do so. And so Faith physically prevented by her chains and Buffy magically
removed from their usual Slayer strength by the curse, found themselves in the same uncomfortable position. Their
eyes met in silent but mutual understanding across the room. This sucked big time. But neither one was going down
without a fight!
Faith’s jaw dropped with guilt as she saw Buffy giving her all as she tried to fight them off even though she no
longer had her slayer abilities. Her attempts were nothing but an annoyance to the men. The dark-haired slayer
yanked at her chains again as Willow grabbed one attacker by the scruff of his neck and simply pulled him off her
best friend, kicking out at his partner’s knees. She then launched into them with the same ferocity Faith had recently
experienced herself. There was no technique, no style, just brute force. She could almost taste the raw anger in
Willow.
Cordelia slowly stood up and glanced to her left, checking on Faith and having done so she took in the scene. Instinctively
evaluating how best to help, she realized that they needed to get Faith unchained. Glancing back towards Giles,
she made the assumption that the Watcher would have the keys and she launched herself towards him. However an arm
appeared from nowhere and yanked her back by the neck of her blouse. Clutching her throat, she fell to the ground.
Xander saw Cordy being thrown to the floor and his male instinct to protect took over as he stood and yelled at
the curled-up Watcher. “GILES! Get up damn it!” Ducking beneath the fists he knew were heading his way, he stepped
forward dropping his head to barrel into his attacker.
Faith noticed Cordelia starting to regain her breathing when a thought occurred to her. “Cordy,” she called out.
“Get Buffy’s weapons bag.”
Cordelia glanced at her in confusion. “What?”
“The bag on the table. Get it to Buffy!” she instructed, nodding her head vigorously towards the stone table on
her left.
Finally understanding, Cordelia slipped slightly as she regained her footing and she half-crawled and half-walked
towards the table, still trying to recover her breath and stay out of their attackers’ way.
Xander watched Cordelia’s progress, and realizing where she was heading, he swerved to his right, just missing
an upper cut intended for his chin. He embraced the first positive thought he had had since the attack had started
-- ‘The tranquilizer gun.’
Buffy was furious and still a little dazed as she watched the battle before her. Willow was busy pounding the stuffing
out of two black ops guys but through their arms and legs she saw two more men heading towards her Willow. Instinct
took over and she moved behind Willow, momentarily forgetting her powerless situation. Finally past her initial
attackers and closer to her weapons bag, she screamed “Here Cordy, to me.”
Cordy shot a glance to her left as she reached the table and summoning her remaining energy she grabbed the bag
and not having time to gauge its weight, she threw it towards Buffy. It fell short, twisting around as it skidded
across the ground.
Xander realized he could probably reach it so he launched himself towards it. Sliding across the floor on his side
and reaching out, he pulled the bag towards him. Glancing up, he realized he was now facing Willow and her attackers.
He began to open the bag and, plunging his hand in, grabbed the stock of the gun pulling it out barrel first.
Buffy was almost there when she saw Xander slide to the bag. He didn’t seem to see her as he glanced past her towards
Willow. She fell to her still sore knees and reached for the gun, sliding her left hand into the trigger guard
as Xander continued to raise the barrel. The next sound she heard was the whoosh of air as something shot past
her left ear.
Buffy and Xander’s eyes met in surprise as they realized what they had done and both looked back towards Willow
just in time to see her freeze, stare back at them in shock and then fall to the floor. “Willow!!” they both screamed.
“No!” Faith exclaimed, seeing what had occurred. She gave a final, mighty yank at her chains but she only succeeded
in causing her wrists to bleed.
Their attackers took a moment to realize what had happened but upon seeing that their only serious opposition had
been taken out, they went right back to their mission. Turning towards Buffy, they moved in. Xander tried to get
up but a kick to his gut came out of nowhere.
“Get off her, you limp mothers,” Faith screamed as she saw them shove Buffy to her feet before placing a chloroform-soaked
rag over her mouth. Then she saw Cordy launch herself at the man holding Buffy’s right arm, only to be swatted
aside by him with an elbow to her face.
“Cordy!” Faith screamed, hating how helpless she felt in the midst of the chaos and the injuries her friends [yes,
friends] were sustaining.
Giles suddenly appeared out of nowhere, slamming his fist into the side of one attacker’s face. ‘Way to go,’ thought
Faith, as Xander positioned himself at the feet of the same man and threw his weight at him. “Knock his lights
out,” Faith yelled as she saw him fall over Xander. But when she saw the assailant careening towards her, she thought
‘Oh hell.’
Buffy couldn’t get free. Her only thought was that she needed to get to Willow but no matter how she hard she fought,
she couldn’t seem to get away from the strong hands holding her. She could hear voices yelling and she knew she
was in a fight that she probably couldn’t win but for once in her life she didn’t care. Then a hand covered her
mouth and the strange sweet and yet bitter smell brought the darkness.
* * * *
She had seen a flash of light and heard a loud bang as she reached the top of the stone steps. Not sure what
was going on, as well as hesitant and nervous, Anya cautiously made her way down the steps. Looking around for
a weapon, she cursed herself for not bringing something with her. ‘This is Sunnydale for goodness sake. I should
always carry around an arsenal.’
Clutching her still sore ribs, she moved around the back of the courtyard to get a better look. Anya could hear
yelling and shouting coming from inside. But decades of watching mankind and their petty squabbles, as well as
her own current uncomfortable mortality, had taught her that charging in when you didn’t know what was going on
usually resulted in pain, and she’d had just about enough of that – thank you very much. Why everyone always had
to refuse to run away when the odds were against them escaped her. Still, even she usually followed the
crowd - most of the time unless no one was looking - like now. Although she did so love it when Xander looked sweaty,
bruised and manly - she was pretty damn sure that this look was a macho thing, not at all an appealing unisex characteristic.
Anya stared at the two men before her. They were dressed in black from head to toe, loaded down with weaponry and
watching events unfolding inside just as she was, perhaps about to join their accomplices. They were dressed just
like Xander had last month when they’d enjoyed his new game - ‘how ever can I thank you for saving me, Sergeant.’
She caught sight of Xander sliding across the floor and fear filled her as she spotted the three men surrounding
Willow. Xander and Buffy seemed to be fighting over something … ‘What the …? Oh hell!!! They’ve shot Willow!’
Anya’s open-mouthed amazement was tempered with more than a little bit of satisfaction as she saw the shocked expression
on Willow’s face. ‘See, that’s what it feels like,’ Anya couldn’t stop herself from thinking before Willow crumpled
to the floor.
Despite the obstacles in her way, she saw Xander move towards ‘his Willow’ and Anya again felt jealous, wondering
if he’d ever really told her the whole truth about his relationship with his childhood friend. He'd slept once
with Faith and snuck around with Cordelia. He had always had the ‘hots’ for Buffy, with whom he spent most of his
time getting sweaty and bruised in some battle or another. Now Willow was getting all sweaty and bruised. ‘I have
bruises. He should be at home finding me sexy’, she reasoned.
But her thinking about fairness, truthfulness and what constituted sexy was rudely interrupted when she saw the
men pile on Buffy and kick her Xander! Unable to restrain herself, but slowed down by her aching ribs, she forced
herself to move towards the doorway. “HEY! Leave him alone,” she yelled at the attackers, not one of whom turned
to look at her.
Then Anya made a split second decision. Her physical presence wasn’t going to prevent a bunch of muscle bound men
from leaving the mansion, and in her present condition, there was no way she would be able to help get Buffy away
from them. ‘But, what if I follow them?’
Her decision made, Anya threw Xander an apologetic glance before stepping back into the courtyard and making her
way towards the stone steps. Behind her, she could still hear the fighting inside. ‘I should have time,’ she decided.
Anya headed for Xander’s car, shuffling as fast as she dared, holding her ribs at every step, and glad that she
had brought her car keys.
* * * *
Giles shook his head, trying desperately to clear the effects of the attack from his mind and body. He watched
as Xander lifted Buffy’s … no … Willow’s head gently and raised her into his lap, rocking her like a small child
and calling her name. "Willow? Willow? Oh god!"
"She'll be unconscious for a while," Giles stated unnecessarily. Still reeling from the attack and having
trouble focusing on the fact that they had just lost Buffy, he sat motionless staring at Willow, lying limp and
unconscious in Buffy’s body. His mind ran through every possible ‘could have, should have’ scenario. ‘I should
have sent them home. No. I should have kept Buffy with me. No. I should have released Faith as soon as Cordelia
arrived. I should have been expecting something like this. The attack at the cemetery. The attack at Buffy and
Willow’s dorm room. How stupid could I be?’ He was supposed to be the adult, their Watcher. He was supposed to
prevent them from making mistakes, help them plan … Giles felt like a fraud, he felt so guilty. He’d been so wrapped
up in solving this damn curse that he had ignored the very real threat posed by the unknown men in black, who had
repeatedly appeared to them.
Cordelia groaned as she rolled onto her back, feeling like a train had run her over. “Okay, did someone get the
number of the truck that hit me?” But when no one answered, she was forced to look around her. What she saw filled
her with dread. Willow lay unconscious on Xander’s lap. Faith was barely conscious and still chained. And Buffy
was gone. They’d taken the Slayer. “Faith?” she asked fearfully.
* * * *
“She kicked like a mule! Are you sure she wasn’t the Slayer?” Slim asked holding and rubbing his injured leg.
Payback hadn’t gone completely as expected, but they got who they’d come for. So even if the score was Sunnydale
2, because of that damn dark-haired Slayer, Black Ops 1, they had ended up with the prize.
“ No, she was just filling in for this one,” the driver assured him.
“She doesn’t look like much to me,” he observed, looking back at the unconscious Buffy.
“Fully charged up, she’d eat us for breakfast,” the driver stated. “If you’d ever been on the receiving end of
a real Slayer you wouldn’t be making stupid comments like that.”
“Are you sure you tied her up properly?” the guy to his left asked.
“She’s trussed up like a turkey. She’s not going anywhere – especially in her condition,” he responded, smiling
in satisfaction at the hog-tied form that was curled up against the vehicle’s rear.
Listening to their chatter, the driver responded “I’ll call it in when we get back to base.” A feeling of relief
washed over him, ‘about time I got to deliver a positive report.’ He had the distinct impression that one more
failure to separate the Slayer from the Witch, would have led to his taking quite a fall. Wolfram & Hart didn’t
really understand or tolerate continued failure from any of their employees; too many screw-ups and you were retired,
permanently just as his predecessor had been.
* * * *
Giles had unchained Faith at Cordelia’s insistence. His hesitation lasted only a moment as he recalled the way
she had baited Buffy and Willow, but also how intent she had been trying to get loose to help them. Although his
instincts were telling him she was on their side, he was doubtful that his cognitive abilities had recovered completely
from the battle and so he kept a watchful eye on Faith as Cordelia helped her to stand. Faith had been knocked
out again. This time by the man who had landed heavily on her during his and Xander’s vain attempts to protect
Buffy. He could tell that having been rendered unconscious again had done nothing to improve Faith’s disposition.
“Christ. Next time can you guys just let Buffy use the tranq gun?” Faith asked as her head continued to spin and
her bones ached. She was feeling far more unsteady on her feet than she really wanted to admit and uncharacteristically
she was letting Cordy take a good part of her weight as she moved away from the fireplace and those damn chains.
Cordelia smiled at her comments but noticing Faith’s tendency to sag slightly at her knees, she realized that the
dark Slayer was still trying to recuperate. Helping her towards the stone table where Buffy’s weapons bag had been,
Cordy helped her to sit. Assuring herself that Faith was not going to just lean forward and fall off, she let go
of her and reached down to take a look at her bruised and bloodied wrists.
Ignoring Cordelia’s interest in her wrists, Faith swallowed her feelings of failure at having been unable to help
them keep Buffy and Willow safe. Glancing at Xander and his unconscious childhood friend, she asked “How’s Red?”
When no one responded she added, “C, I’m five by five. See to Red.”
“There’s nothing I can do for her until the tranquilizer wears off,” Cordelia stated, glancing at Xander and Willow.
The affectionate sight before her seemed to open old wounds and she quickly returned her attention to Faith’s injured
wrists.
* * * *
Anya stayed as far back as she dared. She had seen this done on TV. She knew that every time the rookie cop
followed too close - a high-speed chase resulted. Anya didn’t do high speeds anymore. She’d promised Xander after
that very rude traffic cop had explained that the sign reading 110 she’d seen when getting onto the highway wasn’t
a speed limit.
The van had shot off at first and she’d almost lost it twice. But now that they’d left downtown Sunnydale and were
headed towards the docks she’d found it much easier to follow. Her side still ached and all this concentrating
was starting to make her head hurt as well. Anya wasn’t exactly sure where she was but what she was sure about
was that she needed to do this. She hadn’t been able to fight but she could think. She was an intelligent ex-demon
and it was about time they realized how useful she could be. She’d show them all that her way was best. Anya smiled
to herself in the certain knowledge that Xander would be pleased she had helped rescue his Buffy.
‘There will be lots of celebratory sex,’ she assured herself.
* * * *
Cordelia was right. Damn her! As frustrating as it was, there was nothing that Xander could do but wait for
Willow to come out of it in her own time. But that just left him even more time to feel totally guilty. ‘How the
hell did they get passed us?’ he wondered. ‘We used to be a pretty tight team. And I’m a main member of the team.
Okay, I was more GI Joe than Action Man but, hey, I kill vamps … well, I help kill vamps. Hey, Willow and I staked
four last month.’ His mind went into meltdown as he realized that he wasn’t going to find a good reason for believing
he could have stopped those guys. And, worst of all, that by shooting Willow with the tranquilizer gun, he’d actually
helped them take Buffy.
He glanced around him and saw the same mortified look on Giles’ face. As their eyes locked, each acknowledged their
mutual pain and what was now required - action. Glancing at his body-switched best friend, Xander sighed and released
his last self-indulgent thought before slowly removing her head from his lap and gently laying it onto the hastily
improvised pillow that Giles had placed below her head. Looking up at Giles, he nodded “Okay G-man, what do we
do first?”
Giles stared at him, momentarily at a loss. He knew that something needed doing and for a split second when Xander
had looked at him he’d known what it was. But looking at his Slayer … no … his temporary Willow-slayer, he was
drawn back to his failures.
“I’d say getting Willow the hell out of here before they come back for another round of ‘please wup my ass’ would
be tops on the list,” Faith chimed in.
“Agreed,” Giles responded before he could help himself. Faith was a Slayer, her instincts seemed good and her thinking
seemed a little clearer than his. Maybe if they … ‘What the hell am I doing? She’s not my Slayer – Buffy’s my Slayer.
Faith is at least one of the reasons we’re all in this mess,’ he reprimanded himself. Fighting the sudden urge
to take out his frustration at the recent events on the dark Slayer, he internally shook himself. “I mean … it
would seem that relocating would be the best option. We will need to regroup, gather what we need and let Willow
recover before we can do anything else. Cordelia, I need you to get Angel to find out where the devil those guys
may have taken Bu … Buffy. I suggest we move Willow to …” But he couldn’t think of where to move everyone.
Xander stared at Giles and his rather unnerving goldfish impersonation, as the Watcher unsuccessfully open and
closed his mouth but remained uncharacteristically wordless, before jumping in. “Back to my place,” the young man
suggested. “So far, they’ve visited the dorm, cornered Giles on his way to the magic shop and now attacked us here.
They must know where Buffy lives, so it’s either my place or over to Willow’s mom,” he explained in response to
their puzzled looks.
“Yours it is,” Cordelia decided, a cold shiver running down her spine as she recalled her one and only meeting
with Mrs. Rosenberg during that weird MOO incident.
“You had better let Anya know …” Giles mumbled, before recalling that Anya had been in the area and Xander had
been speaking to her when all hell had broken out. “Anya?”
“Anya!!” Xander roared as he shot to his feet and launched himself at full speed towards the courtyard, afraid
of what he might find.
* * * *
Willow couldn’t get the heaviness to lift from her mind and body. She felt as if she was being dragged down
into the depths. Something was disabling her sense of up and down, left and right. She couldn’t open her eyes.
She didn’t seem to be able to get her mind under control, let alone her senses. But one single image was burned
into her brain - the pained and apologetic eyes of … herself? … no … her beloved.
Why had Buffy looked at her that way? What had she done? How had she …? No. Maybe it wasn’t that she’d done anything.
Had Buffy said something? Something important … something … bright … blinding … black? Her thoughts became jumbled
as she tried to catch hold of the answer but it seemed to fly around her, just out of reach, as hands reached out
for her … pulling at her.
* * * *
Xander stood at the front of the mansion, his heart pounding and his breath sharp. He’d looked everywhere but
there was no sign of Anya. Staring up and down the road he ran through everywhere he’d looked, checking each place
off in his mind. ‘Oh god, she’s gonna kill me,’ he thought as he pictured her lying somewhere hurt, bleeding, calling
for him. ‘They’ve taken her too! No. Wait. Why would they want Anya? But where is she?’
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys. Turning towards – ‘where the hell is my car?’ Xander glanced
back up the street in case he hadn’t parked where he’d remembered parking but nope. His car was gone. Why would
my car – ‘Anya? She’s taken my car. She’s run away. But why would she need my … car! OH!! Oh my god! Anya, you
clever little bunny.’ He stood staring at the now vacant spot where his car had been, a stupid smirk of satisfaction
and pride plastered across his face.
* * * *
Buffy opened her eyes - at least she thought she had but all she could see was the same blackness as before
and the distant murmur of voices and machinery. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to stretch only to find herself
bound. Taking in her situation - her thirst and the strange taste in her mouth, she realized that she’d been drugged
… no chloroformed. They’d used chloroform.
Her attempts to move had been in vain and she realized that her arms were tied wrist to elbow behind her back.
She’d felt a mutual and very uncomfortable pulling when she’d tried to move. From her straining, she deduced that
her ankles although tied together were somehow connected to her arms. ‘Looks like they want me to stay around,’
she thought angrily.
They had her hog-tied and blindfolded, and she had no idea where she was. ‘Just your average, everyday gig in the
life of a slayer. Only I’m not the Slayer … well not really, not right now anyway. I’ve been neutered. Willow’s
the Slayer now … Oh God, Willow! Did they get her too?’ She dragged her mind back trying to recall what had happened
just before – oh Goddess – Willow had fallen. She had seen her go down. She had shot her!
“NO,” Buffy screamed. “Where is she? What have you done with her? If you harm just one hair on her head I’m going
to introduce you to a world of pain. You’re going to beg me to kill you,” she screamed as a thousand horrifying
images filled her mind. Could Willow be bleeding in a dark cell like this one … alone … tied and bound? ‘OH Goddess!’
* * * *
Willow could hear noises … no … voices. But what were they saying? She strained through the fog that filled
her head. Giles … that was Giles. What was he saying? He sounded so far away.
“Anya must have seen them come in,” Giles reasoned.
“I didn’t see her,” Faith commented, recalling that she’d glanced at the courtyard more than once to check on the
two guys keeping their exit covered. “What was she doing hiding?”
“Knowing Anya, I’m not sure that she wasn’t doing just that. Willow broke two of her ribs the other day and I somehow
doubt she would have been much use in a fight nor in the mood to throw herself in harm’s way again,” Giles explained,
partly understanding and yet partly resenting Anya for probably just watching.
“Can’t say I blame her,” Xander stated. “None of us were injured before and look how much use we were,” he said,
sharing his dismal opinion of their performance.
“So she’s taken your car, which you believe means she’s trying to follow them?” Giles queried doubtfully, not sure
that Anya would be that clear thinking in a crisis.
Faith stared at Xander as if he was crazy. She’d been watching them all for a while now and there was nothing she’d
seen that could make her believe that Xander’s new squeeze was someone to have around in a fight. All she had concluded
was that the ex-demon liked money and sex - not that she could really fault her logic on either score, but that
didn’t really give you a basis for believing the woman had the balls to follow the guys who had just creamed them
all. But she kept her thoughts to herself and her mind open.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow in the direction of Giles before changing the subject. “So let me get this straight.
We’ve lost Buffy, Xander’s wheels are – elsewhere, Faith’s running on fumes and Willow’s still unconscious after
getting ‘tranqed’ by Buffy and Xander. And our best hope is that Xander’s ex-demon girlfriend is following the
bad guys,” she summed up for everyone before turning back to Giles and asking “Okay, so where did you park?”
Giles grimaced, thinking of his poor Citroen.
* * * *
Buffy wallowed in her misery. She had shouted herself hoarse, and now found herself with the time to wonder
how she could have been so close to what she had dreamt about and hoped for only to have it all taken away. The
attack had prevented her from hearing Willow’s response to her request for a date; indeed, it had been a request
for a new future. It was like a sick joke was being played on her, on them both. She’d seen the surprise and what
she had thought and hoped was joy in her best friend’s eyes. And then all hell had broken loose. Sometimes she
just wished for a dull, normal life; where nothing unexpected ever happened and no one ever got hurt because of
her.
She’d had that life once or so she’d thought. Her parents had still been happily married, she was popular, she
was one of the star cheerleaders and she was a girl whom all the people she had believed were the best and right
people wanted to be with. Her life was full of achievement, praise, enjoyment, and everything had seemed to come
so easily to her. But then he had arrived … her first watcher, turning everything in her life upside down.
And no matter how hard she tried to keep it all together, everything had fallen apart. Somehow she had become one
of those people that others talked about in hushed voices, nudging each other as she went past and never daring
to meet her gaze. Then they’d just ignored her, something that hurt her more than she cared to admit.
Her mother had moved them after the divorce and her expulsion from Hemery High School, which had resulted due to
the fact that she couldn’t explain that she’d only burned down the school gym because it housed a large nest of
vampires. She’d held out hope that here, well away from her past she could start again with a normal life. But
the first day at her new school proved that Sunnydale would be worse than Los Angeles had ever been - her mother
had moved them to the Hellmouth.
When she’d met Willow, she found someone she understood and who understood her, someone who deserved more, someone
kind and intelligent. Heck, Willow was the resident genius. Willow was someone so special that it constantly amazed
her that the girl seemed to be willing to be around her, let alone help her.
Over the years she’d come to think of herself as lucky to have had the experience she’d had of falling from grace
in Los Angeles before moving to Sunnydale. Otherwise she would have just slid into the elite world of the popular
and overlooked Willow, just as so many others had.
Willow had filled her world with magic and yet with a kind of stability, making what she had to do worthwhile and
even enjoyable. She would have given up or been killed long ago if it had not been for her best friend. Willow
had stayed when she could have gone. Colleges from all over this and many other countries were falling over themselves
to offer Willow admission. She could have moved on with her life, gone to a safer place and left Buffy behind.
But she’d chosen to stay, to help her ‘with the good fight’. That decision had produced the one moment when Buffy
came the closest she’d ever gotten to telling Willow how much she meant to her by blurting out ‘I kinda love you’
in a moment of relief and exuberance that had been easily misunderstood as a declaration of true friendship.
And then finally, after all that Faith had put them through or maybe because of it, she’d found the courage she
had always lacked. She’d overcome her fears, her nightmares. Maybe her eyes had been opened by the body-switch,
maybe the sweet taste of heaven in Willow’s embrace had pushed her there.
Damn it! How could she be expected to give that up, the feelings, the knowledge of how they could be? Hadn’t she
given enough up already?
She felt helpless and weak - two things she hated feeling. The last time she’d felt like this - the damned Council
had forced Giles to help inflict that sick Cruciamentum test on her. And she and her mother had almost died because
of it. But they hadn’t died. And she’d learned that being a slayer was about more than her strength, more than
her healing powers, more than her training. It was a calling and obligation. ‘Oh hell, now I’m starting to sound
like Giles.’
But today despite her so-called slayer inner strength, she’d been captured and brought here against her will; wherever
the hell here was. And she still didn’t have any answers. She still didn’t know what was really going on and all
she could think of was Willow. What had they done to her? Would she ever see her best friend … her true love again?
Why hadn’t she been more forceful, straightforward? ‘Damn it! Why didn’t I just tell her I’m hopelessly in love
with her, and always have been?’
* * * *
Anya turned off her lights and engine as she coasted to a stop by the beginning of the wire fence. Glancing
to her left, she could just see them. They were struggling with something – ‘Oh god that’s Buffy.’
She glanced around looking for a sign, anything that might give her a clue as to where the she’d ended up. Then
she saw it. The faded blue lettering - ‘Aries Holdings’ – okay, that’s a start. But now she needed a street name
or something. What was it with the docks, poor lighting and no street signs? A movement caught her eye and she
realized that one of the men was heading towards the gate, towards her. Her heart jumped into her throat and she
dropped down behind the steering wheel. ‘Why the hell am I doing this? I never had to go through any of this crap
with D’Hoffran. He knew I was special.’
She heard the sound of steel wheels moving across concrete and sighed. ‘He’s just closing the gate.’ Slowly she
lifted her head, to make sure that she was right, peeking through the upper arch of the steering wheel. Relief
washed over her as she saw him padlock the now closed gate and turn back to the warehouse. “Okay, now where the
hell am I? I am so making Xander buy a ‘sat nav’.”
* * * *
Giles paid the cabdriver as Xander carried Willow up the stairs to his apartment. The journey had been somewhat
stressful and agitating. Giles had been quite forceful with the semi-conscious Willow, who had wanted to head out
to look for Buffy there and then. He’d noted that Faith had almost smiled to see her own usual reaction at having
to wait in someone else – in Willow.
Cordelia stood by the cab, still supporting Faith as they glanced at each other, both unsure what was coming next.
But now that they had arrived at Xander’s, they both knew that some serious discussions were about to happen.
“Shall we?” Giles encouraged, his instincts still kicking in where Faith was concerned.
Cordelia turned to Faith and smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, it’ll be okay.”
“Sure,” Faith muttered without much confidence as they made their way towards the stairs.
“Listen. Trust me. Xander may think he’s a major player now but even he’s not dumb enough to get on the wrong side
of the two of us. We know too much,” Cordelia pointed out.
“Yeah. Cool,” Faith responded, a small grin spreading across her face. She nodded behind them towards Giles, “If
granddad gets out of line, I’ll take his left leg, you take his right,” she suggested raising a wicked eyebrow.
“Pretty soon he won’t have a leg to stand on.”
Giles was slightly disconcerted by Cordelia’s sudden laughter and the backward glance of amusement she threw over
her shoulder at him. But what had really caught his eye was the way that Cordelia, a woman he’d always known to
be more interested in her own reflection than anyone else, appeared to be going out of her way to look after Faith.
Hearing her defend the dark slayer was one thing but watching her offer comfort and support was quite another.
There was more to these two than met the eye and Giles wondered if he could really trust Cordelia’s loyalty to
them to override her apparent loyalty to Faith. Things could get tricky if he was going to have to watch both of
them.
* * * *
“Yes sir. We have her secured at the agreed location,” the leader of the attack squad assured his boss.
“Good. It’s about time. I was beginning to wonder if you were up to the job.” the lawyer commented, not trying
to conceal his threat at all. He had never felt that praise worked as an incentive with these damn Rambo types.
He wanted to make sure that they didn’t slacken off and relax. The last thing he needed right now was to lose the
advantage he had worked so hard to achieve. “Check in every eight hours and be prepared for anything.”
“Sir, our exit was ‘text book’. They have no idea where we are,” he was assured.
“Trust me when I say that not knowing where you are will not last for long. Do not underestimate this group. They
are resourceful. We only have tonight and tomorrow to get through. Tomorrow night the lunar eclipse takes place.
Remember all you need to do is keep her away from the Witch. Keeping them apart until sunrise - that’s your job,”
he stated, laughing to himself because he knew that if everything went according to plan there would be no sunrise.
“I’m aware of my orders sir,” he almost snapped. God, he hated sucking up to the suits. He’d like to get them all
out on just one of his training gigs and see how they coped.
“I’m sure you are. But be assured that should you lose control of the situation again, I will have to carefully
reconsider your future with the firm,” the lawyer threatened one last time, just for fun as he began to feel success
approaching. This had taken a lot of planning, and at first it had almost seemed improbable that it would succeed.
But then the dark slayer had fallen into his lap. His standing with the senior partners would be assured, as long
as everything went according to plan. And for that, he needed his men motivated.
“Yes sir,” the attack leader responded, feeling the beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he tried
to recall if he had set up the sentries.
* * * *
Cordelia had settled Faith on the wrap-around sofa and made her call to LA. Giles had tried to listen to what
she’d said but Willow had been pretty much ranting for action through most of it. Only when Xander stepped in to
remind her that if the attackers had wanted Buffy dead they’d have just killed her back at the mansion, did Willow
finally relent long enough for the Watcher to catch Cordelia’s parting instructions.
“Okay. Well, get back to me as soon as you can,” she directed. “No, no. We’ll call if we need you.” Hanging up
the phone, she stared at it, deep in thought for a moment before turning to Giles and seeing his concerned expression,
offered him assurance. “We should hear something soon.”
“Right then. Well, in the meantime and without interruptions,” he stated glancing meaningfully at Willow, “I think
it would be useful if Cordelia and Faith ran us through the events that led to the body-swap.”
Cordelia looked at him with concern and throwing a very slight glance towards Willow she asked him “All the events?”
“Buffy’s been captured. I really think the time for keeping certain things to ourselves, not matter what the reason,
has passed,” Giles stated firmly.
“Keeping what things?” Willow asked, before realizing what he was referring to. “OH!” she muttered, no longer sure
that she wanted to find out in detail what the future events were that Cordelia had seen.
* * * *
Anya slowly made her way back to town; at least she thought she was heading towards town. She could make out
some very bright lights ahead of her. Turning left, she almost plowed into a parked construction crane before slamming
on her breaks. “Where on earth did that come from?”
Getting back into downtown Sunnydale was not going to be as easy as she had thought. Cursing herself for going
against her instincts and trying to be helpful, she reversed the car back into the road she had just left, and
this time she went to the right. “Ma Jun, where are you when I need you?” She fondly recalled her time in the three
kingdoms of China. “Those were the days; honored and feared, not forced to go on senseless, dangerous missions
to ensure sex.” Ma Lun had offered her all of his nephew’s inventions to prevent her from exacting the terrible
revenge his wife had called for – “A south pointing chariot that’s what I need. No, no, that’s not what they call
it now. A compass, that’s it! People navigate using a compass. I could learn how to … but I don’t have a …” She
glanced up at the darkening sky. “Where the hell am I?” she yelled, pulling the car to a stop.
Then she heard it. An engine and music! Glancing in her rearview mirror, she was almost blinded by two bright headlights
and what appeared to be a halo of blue lights in the shape of cow horns. As the eighteen-wheeler whooshed its air
brakes and pulled along side, she glanced up to find a large hairy-armed man staring down at her. “Well hello darling,”
he greeted her with a Texan twang. Anya was struck by how much like Olaf he looked - large, dim and easily distracted
by a friendly female. Anya smiled, ‘Thank goodness men are so stupid.’
* * * *
Faith hadn’t been able to look at Willow as Cordelia had recounted her vision. She knew the pain that she would
see in Willow’s eyes; the kind of pain she had often brought people in what she fervently hoped was and would remain
her prior life. She shrank into herself, recalling how she’d once captured Willow, how badly she had treated her.
Only now did she realize the kind of pain Buffy must have experienced not knowing, having to decide what to risk
to get her back.
“I’ll kill him,” Xander exclaimed, unable to drown out the boiling anger that welled within him as his mind visualized
all that Cordelia had described.
Giles, however, merely nodded before adding “I see. Well, that certainly explains your somewhat eager and unorthodox
approach to bringing Willow and Buffy together.” He had long since removed his glasses and now he found himself
staring at them blankly.
“You think?” Cordelia responded. “We couldn’t risk letting that happen. Okay, maybe our plan was somewhat extreme,”
Cordelia noted, glancing at Faith, “But the general feeling was that only drastic action would drag these two out
of their respective closets.”
“Not in a closet,” Willow grumbled, her brain scattered into fragments. It was one thing to suspect what Cordelia
had seen. It was quite another to know exactly what the powers that be had shown her. She found herself numbed
and enraged, swinging from disbelief to anger to guilt.
Cordelia ignored her comment; pretty sure that it didn’t need a response. “The switch was meant to end at the lunar
eclipse and Faith came here to keep the vamps at bay in the meantime.”
“I thought by now … something would have … happened’, Faith commented.
Giles looked towards Willow whose face was frozen. “I believe that something did,” he stated. “However, it appears
that events have overtaken your wishes on this subject.” He glanced outside into the dark night, ‘where had the
day gone?’ “We now have only one day in which to find Buffy.”
“One day?” Cordelia questioned.
“The lunar eclipse will occur tomorrow night and our understanding of the subtext within the curse is that unless
we find Buffy, and she and Willow deal with the curse before then, the sun will not rise again,” Giles explained.
“We’ll find her,” Willow declared, raising her chin in grim determination.
Xander sighed, “It’s not just finding her though, is it? Will, you need to tell her.”
Willow glanced into his concerned face and bit her lip, “I know. I almost did. She … she asked me … Before we were
attacked Buffy asked me … for a date.”
“Buffy did the asking?” Cordelia jumped in, almost unable to believe that the straight-laced blonde had found the
guts to ask.
“Oh Will! That’s great, that’s wonderful. Then you two … Hold on if you two had … You’re still Willow right …”
Xander rambled before turning to Giles in confusion and asking, “Why didn’t they swap?”
“I didn’t get a chance to say … Yes,” Willow explained, her head dropping in sheer embarrassment and guilt. If
only she’d spoken … if only she hadn’t made that silly quip about Buffy’s choice of words.
* * * *
“Have you checked on her yet?” the attack leader asked, his memory of the lawyer’s threat still fresh.
“Like she’s going anywhere soon,” Slim cracked in amusement.
“Just do as you’re told. Check on her now,” he growled in frustration.
“Okay, okay, no problem,” the other replied in an annoyed fashion, before trudging off.
Picking up his radio, he hit the ALL button and ordered, “Guys I need you to keep focused. We cannot afford to
underestimate this group. Hell, we’ve already had our butts handed to us twice by one of them. Keep it together,”
he ordered.
Turning the radio off, he sighed. ‘It shouldn’t be this hard.”
* * * *
Willow had made her way onto the balcony in need of some night air. Everyone was talking as if she wasn’t there
anyway.
The room was hemming her in and all she wanted to do was go, search and find her beloved. And tell her YES.
Tell Buffy that she’d been waiting most of her life in the vain hope that she would one day want her, need her,
care for her. To let her know that she would happily spend the rest of her life loving her, supporting her, keeping
her safe … ‘Oh, and you did such a bang up job of that, didn’t you?’ she berated herself.
‘I’m a joke as a slayer. I’m all book learning, research and no experience. I’m surprised Giles let me out at all.
I could’ve got us all killed. Who the hell did I think I was - Sylvia Stallone? I should have stuck to what I know
– Magic.’ “MAGIC, why the hell didn’t I think of that before?” she shouted to the world in general before gathering
her thoughts.
‘There has to be a way to combine them.’ Giles once explained how magics had been used to create the slayer. Therefore,
she reasoned some residual magic must exist within the line. Maybe that was what laid dormant in potentials?
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