Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

Tell Me What You Want

B’Elanna’s stomachs churned. She shouldn’t have eaten, especially not Neelix’s concoctions, not after having what barely passed as a conversation with Harry. Shit, she was more confused now about the nature of their relationship than she had been before they began the conversation. Well, maybe that wasn’t exactly true. They had managed to clear the air about what they had done and establish that they could still be friends, but B’Elanna just couldn’t get her head all the way around that. Neither could Harry, when it came right down to it. Before he left, they both agreed they would need to give it more time. A lot more time.

Great Conquering Kahless, first Tom, now Harry. When was she ever going to learn? When was she ever going to get a chance to learn, trapped on this starship for what might probably be the rest of her life?

Okay, she thought, let’s recap, shall we? Tom’s going to marry Seven. Huhhh...past that, get past that...Harry’s still got the hots for Seven, so in order to have an excuse to spend just a little more time with her, he helped her create a beach program. A beach program for Tom. A beach program she and Harry had used to fuck each other just the night before.

Yup, that was about it. It would have been funny-if it hadn’t been so pathetic.

Okay, her stomachs reminded, now it was time to go. She stood and turned so fast, she crashed right into Neelix, who was returning to her table with a coffeepot.

"Oh! Sorry, Neelix." Thankfully, no damage had been done.

"Oh, no, no problem, Lieutenant. I guess you don’t want anymore coffee, then, huh?"

"No, thanks." She stepped around him and exited the mess hall, heading for Engineering.

Men! I am so through with them! I can’t even believe my own behavior. God why can’t my Klingon libido just give it rest sometimes? Imagine how peaceful my life would-

"Oof!" Deep into scolding herself, she had rounded a corner and ran blindly into Captain Janeway. Momentum sent them both to the floor, a tangle of red and gold.

B’Elanna was mortified. "Captain!" She began to separate herself from Janeway, scrambling to get her feet under her. "Oh my God, I am so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going. I was preoccupied and I know that’s no excuse..." By this time she was standing, babbling, until she noticed Janeway hadn’t moved from the floor. And she was moaning.

It occurred to B’Elanna that something was very wrong with the captain, but she couldn’t immediately figure out what or why. Heeding her inner alarm, she dropped to one knee in front of her. "Captain?" As she got closer to Janeway, her nostrils flared and her Klingon sense of smell kicked into warp.

Janeway smelled of alcohol. Alcohol and...something else, something B’Elanna well recognized.

Sex.

Fucking A, Kathryn, she thought, at the beginning of Alpha Shift? You? What happened, don’t I wonder, and what the hell are you doing walking around? She didn’t voice any of that, of course, just leaned in closer and whispered, "Captain?"

Janeway gagged, pushing away from B’Elanna just in time to avoid hitting her with the contents of her stomach, which hit the worn carpeting instead. She gasped and sagged. B’Elanna caught her before she could fall into the mess and brought her to her feet.

Against the wall, Janeway’s full weight on her, she slapped her commbadge.

"Torres to Sickbay."

"No." Somewhere, Janeway had summoned strength enough to insert a command-level tone into the word. She shifted her weight off B’Elanna.

:::This is the Doctor. B’Elanna, are you all right?:::

B’Elanna wasted no breath hemming. "Yeah, Doc, sorry. False alarm." She raised her eyebrow critically at Janeway.

:::Very well, Lieutenant. Try to be sure you need me the next time you call.:::

It was still quiet in the corridor, which was amazing considering Alpha Shift was about to start. However, they were in the west corridor, which was not as heavily-traveled as the others. Nevertheless, B’Elanna was well aware this was not the way the captain preferred her crew to see her, particularly not the junior officers. She had to get Janeway out of there.

"Captain, how about we go someplace a little less public?"

Still leaning heavily against the wall, a hand shading her eyes and an arm wrapped around her midsection, Janeway nodded weakly.

"Torres to Maintenance."

:::Yeah, Chief, what’s up?:::

"Hey, Matt, good morning. Listen, we’re gonna need a clean-up in the west corridor on Deck 2."

:::Somebody couldn’t take Neelix’s breakfast again, huh?:::

"Something like that. And would ya tell Carey I’m gonna be late? Thanks."

B’Elanna initiated a site-to-site transport to her quarters, figuring she had the captain’s full approval on use of the extra energy.

* * *

"Coffee?"

"Yes, please." Kathryn Janeway had spent the better part of ten minutes in B’Elanna’s bathroom upon their transport in. While she looked much tidier when she came out, B’Elanna couldn’t tell by looking how Janeway might be feeling.

As B’Elanna went to the replicator, she considered the awkwardness of her situation. It was one thing for the captain to handle one of them in a sensitive situation, but the other way around? Nearly unheard of. Despite her natural tendency to talk first and think later, she was completely without a clue as to what she should say.

So, Cap, what’s with the booze and sex, huh? Didja finally get lucky with Chakotay? Oh yeah, that would work. Her Klingon libido chose that moment to graciously provide her with a tantalizing memory of her captain in the corridor just a few moments ago, and then she nearly did open her mouth and ask her outrageous questions.

Standing there, eyeing the coffee mugs on the replicator’s little platform, she wondered if the captain would notice if she stayed where she was and sent the coffee by transport.

She’d probably notice. And then would probably want to know why.

B’Elanna sighed in resignation, lifted the two mugs and returned to the couch, resolutely ignoring the pesky tingling sensation between her legs.

As it turned out, she needn’t have worried about initiating conversation. Janeway did, when she accepted the coffee.

"Thank you, B’Elanna. As you can tell, I’m not feeling especially well this morning."

"No kidding!" So much for diplomacy. She backpedaled furiously. "Oh! Well, I mean, uh, I mean..." She gave up. "C’mon, you puked in the hallway!"

Janeway abruptly turned her head away, speaking so softly that B’Elanna had to strain to hear her. "B’Elanna, you know this journey of ours is becoming impossibly long."

This was not the response B’Elanna had been expecting and she immediately felt bad for being such a smartass. She put down her coffee mug and scooted closer to Janeway on the couch. "Geez, Captain, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..."

When Janeway turned her head back, B’Elanna could see tears standing in her blue-gray eyes. If that wasn’t enough to unnerve her, what Janeway said next certainly did.

"Seven kissed me."

B’Elanna could not have been more surprised if her captain had sprouted forehead ridges and started belting out Klingon opera. She knew her jaw was hanging open, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember how to close her mouth. None of this was helping her cursed libido, either.

Apparently, the look on B’Elanna’s face was enough to stir Janeway out of her melancholy. She snorted in amusement.

"Close your mouth, B’Elanna, you look like a goldfish. Besides, you can’t possibly be that shocked by what I said."

B’Elanna snapped her jaw shut, tracked down her voice, and managed, "Well, you said Seven kissed you. Seven?"

Janeway sighed. "I’m not being clear, B’Elanna, I’m sorry. Yes, she kissed me, but it wasn’t anything like you might be imagining." She held out her hand, palm up, and pointed to the center. "Right there. That was yesterday evening, when she declared after she let me win several rounds of Velocity that she wanted to have sex with..." She paused and lowered her voice, "with Tom."

B’Elanna choked back an unwelcome sob and Janeway looked away to give her a moment’s privacy. When Janeway looked back, she saw B’Elanna’s eyes narrow in Klingon suspicion, clearly checking her for signs of pity. Janeway knew she would find none, and apparently this satisfied B’Elanna, because the young woman lost some of her starch and relaxed against the couch. Janeway continued.

"Let me just say this. Seven wants to have sex with Tom, but she said she felt ‘inadequate to the task.’"

B’Elanna interrupted, hand up in a classic stop gesture, unable to resist asking. "Her words, right?"

Not trying to hide a smirk, Janeway nodded her head. "Her words."

B’Elanna’s turn to snort.

"So she asked me to make love to her, to teach her, so that she would be a better lover to Tom."

"And you did?"

"No, B’Elanna! Would you let me finish?"

"Sorry. Shoot."

"When I told her I would not agree to that, she became, well, let’s say she became...angry. I told her to channel what she was feeling into loving Tom. That’s when she kissed me and left." Janeway paused and dropped her eyes again. A few seconds passed silently before Janeway raised her eyes to stare vacantly across the room. "I spent the rest of the evening drinking and most of the night, uh, feeling ‘lonely and preoccupied with myself,’ shall we say? Thus the reason for the completely unacceptable condition you found me in this morning." She turned to B’Elanna. "I’d already contacted Chakotay and told him I wasn’t feeling well and was trying to figure out why I had left my quarters in the first place when..." And now her eyes picked up sparkle. "I was hit by a flying engineer." She ended with a rare, radiant smile.

And that smile sent B’Elanna’s heart lurching into overdrive, despite the fact it had no business doing that and Janeway’s smile did not linger on her lips. The captain hadn’t quite withdrawn her hand; it was resting on the couch, still palm up, next to her thigh. B’Elanna watched as Janeway rested her head against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

B’Elanna never considered protocol. She never considered rank. She never considered the time of day, or that she should be in Engineering. She never considered Tom. Or Harry. Or Seven. She never even considered the fact that her heart was still hammering away.

Instead, she considered only a brief smile and her Klingon libido, which was actively prodding her to take some action towards providing it some relief. These considerations gave her courage she did not know she possessed.

What the hell, the woman admitted she was lonely. Hell, she looks lonely, and god only knows what I look like.

Throwing the balance of her caution to the wind, as it were, she slid up next to Janeway’s hand, bent to it, and put her mouth into the center of her palm. She opened her lips and fluttered the tip of her tongue against her skin.

Janeway’s reaction was immediate and potent. She sucked in a ragged breath and yanked her hand out from beneath B’Elanna’s mouth.

"Jesus, B’Elanna! What are you trying to do, kill me?"

B’Elanna, still bent over, cocked her head up so she could see Janeway. "If that’s what you’d prefer, Captain."

B’Elanna never did figure out just what it was she had said that provoked such an intense response from Kathryn Janeway, only that whatever it was, it spoke directly to her Klingon libido and then some.

Janeway shifted smoothly, tucked her head up under B’Elanna’s, and met her lips firmly and with obvious intent to continue.

B’Elanna did not spare a moment to wonder about this. She merely responded, mouth open, allowing Janeway to pull her atop her as she slid around to stretch out fully on the couch. Their lips never parted until they both had to breathe, and B’Elanna took the opportunity to query the woman beneath her.

"Captain, are you sure this is what you-?" As if that would make any difference, Torres. As if it made any difference to me and Har. First I fuck my best friend, then I fuck my captain...wait, wait, wait, just wait a goddamn minute...what am I doing?

When this question finally hit her, she was immediately full of Klingon rage at herself. Snarling, she pulled away from Janeway and flew across the room to stand by the replicator with her arms folded protectively around her.

There was no sound until she heard Janeway get up and approach her, touching her shoulder. "You might find this hard to believe, B’Elanna, but, yes, I’m sure it’s what I want. What I’m not so sure about is whether or not it’s what you want."

"Heh," she snorted bitterly, keeping her eyes squarely on the wall and her arms locked around her. "What I want. I slept with Harry last night, on the holodeck, in the beach program he made for Seven to use with Tom. Oh, did I say ‘slept with?’ Fucked. I meant fucked. So I don’t know a damned thing about what I want."

Janeway considered this. Another inappropriate activity to add to the hundreds she had tallied last night after Seven left. Good Lord, their own mothers wouldn’t recognize them anymore. Starfleet certainly never would.

But that was for the future. Right now, the young woman with her face to the wall needed to understand that it was unacceptable for her to lose herself in the guilt of her actions. She couldn’t afford it. None of them could. Yes, this would also qualify as "inappropriate activity," and she might be labeled crazy, but she just could not deny herself this time. She would not. Neither would she allow B’Elanna to.

Before her was a woman fraught with guilt over actions she could not take back or change, and within her a woman longing for the comfort of another body, if only for a single moment. They could answer for their inappropriateness when Voyager sailed back into the Alpha Quadrant. But not today, not now.

Janeway paused one more second to consider her motives. It might well be that she was using B’Elanna, just as she could have easily used Seven the night before, but it did not seem at all the same. She recalled a fluttering tongue to her palm and the passionate kiss she had just received, and decided, no, it was not the same at all.

"Oh, I see. And now you think you’re going to fuck your captain. All part of your nasty, destructive pattern, is that right?"

"Yes," B’Elanna whispered, clearly ashamed. Imagine her surprise then, when she felt Janeway’s breath on the back of her neck, followed a moment later by a kiss. She leaned into it, moaning softly, responding instinctively to a tender caress she had not felt in a long while. Janeway spoke, punctuating her words with tiny kisses.

"I don’t...see it...that way, B’Elanna...but...if you’d rather I stopped...I will."

B’Elanna sighed deeply, as if the weight of the world had just fallen from her, and let her head fall back onto Janeway’s shoulder, so their lips could meet. The kiss deepened as if it were the most natural thing in the universe, and they held it until Janeway broke off, making as if to turn B’Elanna into her arms. B’Elanna stopped her.

"No, Captain, please." Her lips parted in an atypically shy smile, eyes cast downward, as if she were almost embarrassed to admit what she wanted. "I like it...I like it this way."

Janeway returned her smile. "All right, B’Elanna, if that’s what you’d prefer."

B’Elanna chuckled, a throaty sound that ceased immediately when Janeway brought her hand to the fastener on her pants and deftly opened them. The pants fell straight to the floor.

"Oh, I do love those slim-hipped women."

"Captain?"

"Nevermind. And please call me Kathryn." It was easy enough to help B’Elanna shrug out of her uniform top and everything beneath it, leaving her clad only in a pair of white, Starfleet-issue briefs.

Janeway did not shed any of her own clothing, did not even have the desire to. Dominatrix had never been her style, but neither did she think all this submissiveness was B’Elanna’s. They were certainly acting out of character this morning, and the thought immediately provoked a tingling in the center of her palm. She placed her hand on B’Elanna’s shoulder to chase the feeling away, but it did not wish to leave.

Her attention was pulled back to the moment by B’Elanna, who shivered lightly at the contact. B’Elanna stood nearly naked, and clear evidence of her chill could be seen.

"You’re cold."

B’Elanna pushed herself arm’s length away from the wall, cocking her head over her shoulder to look through slitted eyes at Janeway. "No, Cap-Kathryn, I’m not." She closed her eyes and rested her bare chest against the wall, waiting.

Janeway’s palm tingled fiercely.

B’Elanna felt Janeway reach past the elastic of her underwear and weave her fingers into the curls she knew were very damp. She moaned again, curious about her lack of aggressiveness. It was not at all like her to respond so passively, but then she’d been wondering for days just what was "like her" and couldn’t come up with a definitive answer. Even now, she was not sure

At that moment, Janeway’s finger slid between folds of slick swollen flesh, touching her intimately. B’Elanna reflexively jerked in her arms, all thought vanishing in the wake of this subtle contact. She knew she was wet, knew her own smell, but did not realize how it might affect Janeway until she heard her snarl in fine Klingon imitation and fill her lungs deeply.

"Oh, my, you have a distinctly pungent fragrance, don’t you?"

This strengthened B’Elanna’s nerve. "Is that a...compliment, Cap-Kathryn? If so..." she said, rolling her hips against Janeway’s finger, "I think...you can do...better...than that."

Janeway shifted to gain a better angle and snarled again, a sound that melted into a vibrating kiss to B’Elanna’s shoulder. Her finger penetrated, her fingernail catching on sensitive tissue. She pulled her head back and growled, "Tell me what you want, B’Elanna."

Oh, God. She felt herself grow even wetter, could feel a single cooling drop of her arousal sliding down the inside of her leg. "Uhhh..." B’Elanna pressed herself fully against the wall, pushing Janeway’s finger deeper into her. Her panties were soaked, they were in the way, they were annoying her. She angled her hips away from the wall. "My underwear..." With impressive speed, Janeway stretched the panties over B’Elanna’s hips and they fell to her ankles.

A whispered repetition, more like a plea. "Tell me what you want." Her finger moved delicately within B’Elanna, withdrew to lightly circle her clit, penetrated again, and repeated the motion.

B’Elanna struggled to speak. "I...huhh...I..." Janeway’s gentle assault was driving her crazy, but she desperately wanted another sort of assault. She forced the words past her lips. "I...want you to touch me...there. Back there."

"Mmm...yes."

Janeway lifted her other hand and began to caress B’Elanna’s warm velvet back, stopping to gently brush her thumb across each individual ridge in the hybrid spine, matching her strokes with the hand buried in B’Elanna’s sex. She did not rush her effort, and B’Elanna moaned with each pause. Janeway moved sedately down the ridges, enjoying the feel of every minute bump.

Drawing her head back, Janeway looked at what she was touching. It was a unique spine, and she wondered if every Klingon/Human hybrid had a spine such as this. She could not actually see the ridges, but she could feel them, and it was obvious her caresses were arousing B’Elanna. She continued her Braille study until she reached a slight indentation at the base.

B’Elanna pushed backward into Janeway’s hand, a twitching mass of response and nothing else. "Huhhh...." Janeway placed her mouth next to a diminutive ear.

"Tell me...what you want." As she said this, Janeway allowed her fingers to drift into the cleft between B’Elanna’s ass and forward still, to meet her own fingers in the wetness. This time the younger woman hissed, bent slightly at the waist and shuffled two steps away from the wall, uttering a guttural affirmation.

Very gently, very slowly, Janeway drew her hand back and worked the tip of her middle finger into B’Elanna’s anus, pressing deeper when she felt B’Elanna push back against the pressure. She caressed smooth brown skin with her thumb.

B’Elanna felt another rush of wetness between her legs. "Oh, oh, my." She swayed, impaled on Janeway’s fingers, her thoughts centered only on how this woman, her captain, was making her feel.

Her hand saturated, Janeway focused her efforts, stirring her fingers and making little humming noises in the back of her throat. B’Elanna was so wet, moving so fluidly... A sudden heat rose in her, demanding fulfillment. She choked, her fingers stalled. "B’Elanna, I need...I need to..." She couldn’t finish, but B’Elanna seemed to understand. She shook her leg free of her panties and presented her thigh to Janeway.

"Do what you need, Cap-Kathryn. Please."

Parting her thighs around B’Elanna’s offered one, she groaned as her body met the resistance it needed and she was able to continue. They found a rhythm, and their coupling became a sensual climb to release, as both women rocked and swayed, responding to sensations both eternal and brand new.

In a very short time, Janeway felt inner muscles contract tightly around her fingers, and B’Elanna’s movements changed as her climax began. Her breath caught in little rumbling gasps and she began a full-body shuddering that was unlike anything Janeway had ever seen. She could not quite believe how little it had taken to evoke such vivid responses from this small, dark woman. Tom is a fool and I hope to God he soon realizes it. She issued encouragement.

"Come for me, B’Elanna."

Janeway had no way of knowing this was the very thing Tom used to say to B’Elanna anymore than B’Elanna had known that the phrase "If that’s what you’d prefer" was the very thing Seven had said to Janeway the evening before.

And they would never know.

A keening sound escaped B’Elanna and grew in volume and intensity until Janeway thought the walls might shatter. It went on for more than a minute and sounded to Janeway like B’Elanna was releasing a whole lot more than just the sound of orgasm.

Janeway did not resist the desire to comfort. "That’s my girl, B’Elanna," she whispered, "let it all go now." Her own need for release cooled, became less urgent. Kissing her cheek, Janeway rested her forehead on B’Elanna’s trembling shoulder, fingers deep within her, and prepared to give her all the time she needed.

Eventually, the keening ended and her shuddering began to subside, and Janeway slowly removed her fingers. B’Elanna sagged against the wall, knees buckling. Unready, Janeway nearly didn’t catch her.

"Hold on there, miss! You’re not going to pass out on me, are you? I didn’t think Klingons ever lost consciousness."

It was too late. B’Elanna was out.

* * *

"Captain?" The word slurred against her tongue, making it sound like it had more than two syllables. Disoriented, B’Elanna struggled to sit up, dislodging a blanket that had been covering her. Janeway, sitting on the floor beside the couch, rose to her knees and pressed a hand firmly to her chest, pushing her back into the cushions and arranging the blanket again.

"Ah there, B’Elanna. Not so fast."

She came fully awake. "What the hell happened?"

Janeway smiled, touching her arm, handing her her tank top undershirt. "Think a moment."

A slow smile spread across B’Elanna’s features as she threw the tank over her head. She stretched languidly. "Oh yes, now I recall. God, I don’t think I’ve ever-,"

"Passed out?"

B’Elanna ran her hands through her hair. "I was going to say ‘come so hard,’ but I guess ‘passed out’ qualifies, too." Something occurred to her. "But you, Captain, what about you? You never even took off your uniform!"

"Me? I’m fine." She climbed off the floor to sit beside B’Elanna. "I didn’t think it was supposed to be a competition, anyway."

"No, no," B’Elanna countered. "That’s not what I meant. I just...I just wanted to be sure you, uh, well, god, why am I tongue-tied? C’mon, Captain, you know what I’m asking."

"Yes, I do," she said, "but I’m surprised by your inability to ask it."

B’Elanna snorted. "Then I guess you’ll have to remain surprised."

Janeway relented. "B’Elanna, this will probably sound perfectly ridiculous and trite, but I was more than fulfilled just by touching you. You’re a joy, B’Elanna, so responsive. No one has ever passed out in my arms before, and I thought it was lovely. However, I would think the more important question is how are you? You seemed to have ‘let go’ of quite a bit there."

B’Elanna thought for a moment about pretending she didn’t understand and then dismissed that idea. "Actually, I feel a lot better now than I did after Harry and I..." She cut herself off, eyebrows furrowed. "Why is that?"

Janeway fixed her with a trademark glare, a cocked eyebrow mocking her severity. "B’Elanna, if I could answer that, I’d be this ship’s counselor, not its captain."

Both women laughed, grasping hands. They both realized there were things that needed discussing, though B’Elanna admitted she despised the very thought. But for now, it was all right, was comfortable in a way that would have been strange at best for any other Starfleet vessel. But this wasn’t any other Starfleet vessel, this was Voyager, and her crew had long since learned to take their comfort-and their lessons-wherever they could find it and move on. B’Elanna rose to get more coffee and Janeway asked the computer for some Spanish guitar.

This activity felt...appropriate.

End

If you have enjoyed DianeB's "Tell Me What You Want", then please be certain to e-mail her at  dmbmcs2[at]juno.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of DianeB's  Stories at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.