Sapphic Voices General Fiction

Am I the Only One

I often wonder how isolated I truly am as I walk along in this life surrounded by countless other souls? The questions run through my mind of all the things that make me different, and seem to keep me separate from those who walk a step off mine. At night when I lay awake in bed, only the sound of the rushing traffic in my ears, I am left to wonder if I am the only one?

Am I the only lesbian in the world who longs for intimacy, for the touch of another, like one might long for breath? I can feel the pulse of longing rushing through my veins, and my heart races ever faster. I close my eyes and let the feeling wash over me as I think I can feel the longing of the entire world surging through me. I wonder to myself if I am so different from those I would call "family"? Is my desire, to be so much a part of my lover that I can not tell were I end and where she begins, so strange? Can there ever be a time when we are so much the same being that I need not speak for her to know my inner most desire? Is it more then just sex for me, but rather such a soul consuming desire to be intertwined with my love that the idea of being apart rips my heart in two? Or am I just looking to fill that lust that burns inside?

All my life I have been taught, or more over the idea has been pounded into my brain, that sex is dirty. It is something that is only whispered about behind closed doors, and solely for the purpose of procreation? And if that is so then I am surly bound for the depths of hell as I long for that touch, that ultimate intimacy, nearly every second of my life. The touch of her soft skin on mine, her electric body pressed firmly against mine as we indulge in the pleasures of the flesh, and complete the circle that binds us together.

Am I so different? Am I so wrong? I choose to remember the words of my esteemed teacher when she said, "We have been created as sexual beings". This thought gives me hope that I am not so wrong. It is so much more then the release of an orgasm that I seek, but true intimacy. I would refute the idea that sex is love, but rather that it is one aspect, one part of love. And I will console myself with the thought that I am not so different, or so wrong, when I lie in bed at night, electric desire pulsing through my veins. Rather I will bask in the knowledge that my lover lies only inches away, and in time as life moves on our passions for life, and for each other will intertwine in a perfect union of souls.

If you have enjoyed Roki Storm's "Am I the Only One", then please be certain to e-mail her at  rokistorm[at]hotmail.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of Roki Storm's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.

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