Sapphic Voices General Fiction

Girl

Love. It was all I needed. All I breathed. All I could ever ask for. If everything in my life crumbled to pieces and I had been with someone who loved me and I loved them back, I would be the happiest person in the world. Unfortunately, love hadn’t been very kind to me. Or actually, I hadn’t been very kind to it. Upon coming out, I had two serious relationships back to back, and I treated my girlfriends like shit. I didn’t understand why I did it, it just happened. I had this fate thing going on, and I figured that if they weren’t the one for me, then I shouldn’t waste my time. I did anyways. Later, when I was lonely and sobbing, I’d realize that fate didn’t exist and I was ruining my relationships. Real relationships, ones I had to work for. Long story short, they ended, after a long arduous drawn out experience. I’d never meet anyone again. I thought. Well, I did. Shortly after. As I’m writing this, I am in love with her. I am certain. Now I know people give me that mumbo jumbo about how you can never love someone you hardly know. It must be lust, infatuation, they say. I know. I am insane. But I know. She likes me too. Unfortunately, she has a girlfriend. One that she has been with for two years. Can you pit old against new? Who will win? Will she win because they have lasted this long, and it is now a natural regular thing to be with her, or will I win? Will my new refreshing-ness bring something to her life? Will she just like me for me better? It tears out my heart. The day before yesterday, I kissed her. A lot. I went to visit her at school (she goes to university), and we hung out and talked and had fun, then it got more serious. In an abandoned classroom, we kissed. It wasn’t raw sexual lust, at least not for me; I don’t know what she was feeling. I was turned on, but I longed to hug her and caress her, and tell her how I felt about her, how I wanted to keep her forever. It was gentle, and I tried to prove to her how I felt. Now, normally for me, I would have been ripping off her clothes and trying to have sex with her. But I wasn’t. It’s not because she’s not attractive. That’s how I knew. That’s how I knew it wasn’t lust. I am so scared right now. She is everything to me. If I had her, my life would be perfect. Will the universe grant what I desire? Will I be that lucky? I don’t know if I deserve it. All I know, is she is the most amazing creature on the planet, and she belongs to me and I belong to her. What will I do without her?

If you have enjoyed AlyssaJane's "Girl", then please be certain to e-mail her at  geri_60[at]hotmail.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here to continue on to  "Girl - Part 2"

Click here for a list of all of AlyssaJane's Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.

Copyright © 1997-2005 Sapphic Voices.  All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, all site content is entirely owned and is solely maintained by  Sapphic Voices.
Absolutely no portion of this page may be reproduced either electronically or otherwise without the express
and written permission of the copyright holder, except as occurs in normal browser caching and page indexing.