Sapphic Voices General Fiction

Her Story

CAUTION:   This Story contains graphic depictions of violence.

I sat there all day in her chair in our room trying to figure out why. I began to get scared then that I would forget her, that I would forget how her hair shined and smelled so sweet like berries, that I would forget the sound of her voice when she would wake up in the morning when she would tell me good morning and I love you or the feel of her touch when she would wrap her arms around me and tell me she loves me, that twinkle in her eyes when I would walk into the room. I was terrified because I knew that if I forgot one single thing about her it would be like loosing her even slower than I did before. I wandered why she had to leave but then wondered why all this had to happen to us and if it had to be either of us I wondered why it wasn't me. Why did God spare me and let her die, let this awful tragedy happen to her, why was she taken from me. I sat there way into the early next morning thinking that if I just sat there quietly and still like that she would somehow reappear and things would be like normal again and non of this would have happened. She never came back and I hated everyone and everything and especially hated the son of bitch that did all of this. I wanted him dead and prayed for it and was going to make sure that he died the most painful way that the state could give. The judge was my uncle and the best lawyer in the state was my brother and the chief of police was my cousin I knew I would have my vengeance. My family was fine with me being a lesbian and they loved Adrian and me very much and were very happy for our being together and painfully mourned her parting. They would allow me my vengeance on that bastard Jake Summers that sorry son of a bitch would fry in hell for what he did. I laid down on her side of the bed and buried my head into her pillow and deeply breathed in her scent that was still in her pillow and just cried till my head was about to explode and I heard a knocking on the door. I didn't want any visitors so I just let them knock thinking they would go away, praying that they would. I just wanted to be left the hell alone. The door opened and I heard footsteps come into my room and stand next to me by the bed and a hand rub my back. My heart skipped a beat because at first I thought it was Adrian but looked up to see it was her sister Lauren. Lauren was from out of state and had just gotten the news as to what happened. All she was told was that her sister was dead that is all the police would tell her and left the family to explain the rest. Since Lauren and Adrian's mother had died a few years ago from a long fight with cancer and they never knew their father she only had me to fill in the how's, and when's and who's. She helped me up off the bed and calmed me down and went to the kitchen and made us two glasses of tea to drink while I made my way to the living room into her side of the sofa. I saw her sweater hanging by the door, just hanging there waiting for her to come and grab it and put it on. I grabbed it instead and held it close to me as I cried into it and sunk into her side of the sofa. Lauren came in and sat next to me in the recliner and tried to hold back tears, trying to be the strong one. Lauren was never one to show her emotions, she was the older sister and had to help raise Adrian so she was use to being the strong one she felt it was her duty. So Lauren just sat there drinking her tea, fighting back tears, and tried to help me calm down once again to tell her what happened. "Laya you need to get it out hon, just take a deep breath, hold it for a little while and slowly let it out and then tell me the story." You could easily confuse Lauren's strength for being a bitch but it was totally not the case. I could see how hard she was trying not to show how upset she was about her sister how angry and upset she was and how hard it was for her not to cry. I calmed down, took that deep breath, sipped my tea and began telling her my story.

Well Lauren as you know Adrian and I have been together for three years now. You were there at our wedding so you know that we had no enemies and that everyone was OK with our being together even the people here in town. Well that's what we assumed because we were never confronted about it and everyone treated us as if we were accepted and welcomed and we were right except for a select few people. It was those guys that always gave Prissy Billings, and Kay Walker, and Peter Hart all that trouble in school. You remember? Lauren shook her head yes and sat back listening closely and carefully. Well do you remember Jake Summers? Lauren again shook her head yes. Well did you know that Jake also spent a little bit of time in jail for verbal threats made to some people and did you know that he also was in love with me during high school. "Yeah I remember him you went to senior prom with him." Yeah he's the one. We dated during that time and in that time I also had feelings for Adrian but of course could never express them cause I could not ever let anyone know that I was a lesbian. "But you dated Jake how can you be les if you dated Jake?" Jake was a cover up and a friend and that's all I wanted from him and told him that but he never took it to heart. That night at senior prom he asked me to marry him and I told him I couldn't by then I had found out that Adrian was also les and also interested in me and we had by then talked about it and kissed and had a secret affair going. "SO it was you she was in love with then but kept so silent about." Yeah it was me. Jake found out about it to. I told him I couldn't marry him cause I didn't love him and never would that I only wanted to be friends with him and had thought that I had made that perfectly clear. He still didn't hear my words and went insane therefore having a mental lapse and went to a mental institution for a while for attempted suicide and depression and a breakdown of some sort. He got out and everyone thought that he was OK cause he never showed us reason to think otherwise. I never knew he hated Adrian and me. He blamed Adrian for stealing me away from him, he told me this and I told him time and time again that I was never his to have been stolen. That set him off again and he snapped and slapped me right there and threatened to kill me if I didn't straighten up my act. I of course turned him into the police for it and when he got I had a restraining order put on him for me and Adrian for our own safety. A year went by and me and Adrian had by then moved into here and Jake had left town. The next year we were engaged to be married that December and Jake had rolled back in. Some of his bully buddies informed him that we were getting married and he snapped again but no one knew it. He came to the wedding. He acted like he had straightened up and all that shit. Came to the wedding, gave us his best wishes, so we let our guard down. Well Adrian did at least. That was were the mistake was made. He knew she let her guard down and thought I had let mine down. So for the next three years he acted as if all was OK and so in that time I let mine down to. We then decided we wanted a baby and went ahead with it and sent out the baby announcements of Adrian's pregnancy. "Im sorry Laya oh my god am I sorry. I hope that bastard fries. That son of a bitch killed my sister and my baby niece or nephew." It was a niece and a nephew she was pregnant with twins. We were ecstatic and life seemed so complete Lauren. I was so happy and it took me along time to find this happiness and peace that I had wit Adrian. "I know Laya I know." By this time Lauren's strength had faded and she was crying profusely. I took another deep breath trying to keep my strength this time and not break down into tears again and continued on with the story. So one evening at work I got a phone call a weird one. It was a strange voice saying, " Lets see how far love will go, my my my love looks awfully pretty, mother hood becomes her." I freaked out and automatically knew it was Jake and that Adrian was in trouble. I flew from work and drove as fast as my car would go home to find that the house had been trashed, windows broken, blood on the floor and on some glass. I saw her bloody foot print on the floor leading up the stairs and muddy ones following then I saw our front screen door ripped up and kicked down and Adrian was no were to be found. The police were right behind me trying to catch me for speeding and so they were already there to take care of things. That night I stayed at my cousin Paul's house. I knew I would be safe there cause he's the chief of police. Mark my brother and Uncle Simon was there to along with my aunts and other family trying to comfort me while the men tried to put some two's and two's together. They knew who took her but they tried to figure out where and stuff. I was sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette and drinking heavily trying to stay calm and hoping that she would walk up the walkway at any moment to take me home when my cell phone rang. I knew it was her cause on family and her had my cell phone number. I answered it as fast as light to hear...." I broke into tears and hyperventilating again while Lauren who was crying as well tried to calm me. I screamed out." I heard her crying and mumble my name and then a groan a painful groan. Then I heard that bastard laughing and get on the phone and say shoulda stuck with me Laya or non of this woulda happened.", "I began screaming every name in the book at him and told him for his sake he better not hurt her or the babies. He only laughed and said well the way I see it if she's outta the way then you'll forget about her and come back to me. I began screaming again telling him that I was never his that we were never together." Then I heard her crying so hard and say I Love You Laya and then she screamed out my name over and over and over and I began screaming asking where they were, by then Paul had ran out to the porch Mark and Simon following and Paul grabbed the phone and I hit him telling him not to touch it not to take her away and jerked the phone back. Paul was a sneaky man he had slapped a tracking device onto that phone to find out where the call was coming from. I kept screaming into the phone to Adrian that I love her and to tell me where she's at and for Jake to not touch her. Then that's when I heard the most awful thing that will never leave my mind. I heard him laughing and heard her screaming out I Love you Laya and then I heard a gagging sound and her gasping for air and her whimpering my name then a gun shot and a thud. He got back on the phone and said lets see how your love grows now and the phone hung up. Paul got pretty close to where the call came from but not the direct location but close enough to help out a lot. By that time I was lifeless. I had screamed and cried so much and when I heard that gun go off and hear him say what he said I went into shock. They had to take me to the hospital cause I had passed out and I didn't come to for two days just to see Paul sitting by my bed and the rest of the family standing around crying. I woke up and asked about Adrian where was she is she OK. Paul hung his head and cried like a baby and said that they found her body. Her throat had been cut and a gun shot to the heart and she was tied to a tree. I had lost my entire world that night on the phone I heard it leave out of my life for ever. I lost all control again and jumped out of bed. Paul told me to calm down that they arrested Jake and he put him in the cell with the real bad ones that will ruff him up good. I ran out of the hospital with everyone chasing me and ran right into the police station where Jake was. He saw me running to the cell and demented ass that he is ran up to the cell thinking I was running to him for love. I grabbed his head and slammed it into the cells and kicked my legs in between the bars between his legs. It took Paul, Mark, Simon, and two other guards to get me off of him. He is said to still be in the infirmary. But Lauren oh god I don't think I can handle the funeral its tomorrow and I.. I can't live without her Lauren I oh god I cant live without her." By then Lauren was sitting by my side our arms around each other crying. That night I gathered myself. I had spent all day crying the past few days crying rather and thought that I had it all out of me. I got dressed and Lauren drove me to the funeral home. I walked in the door and walked into the room were her body lay. The man that ran the funeral home opened her casket and there she lay, still, motionless, lifeless, yet peaceful. I became paralyzed and collapsed. Lauren had to hold me up. I leaned over crying yet again and touched her hand placing a little pouch under her hand that had the locket I gave her for our first anniversary with our baby pictures in it, our wedding vows we had written for each other, a blossom from our favorite sweet betsy bush in the back yard, and a letter from me that I had written earlier to her telling her that I will always be here for her, I love her and will miss her very very much and long for the day that we will be together again. I then leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on her lips hoping that my kiss would wake her up and bring her back to life like sleeping beauty, but instead they were cold and she stayed there lifeless still. I got mad and burst into tears screaming out in anger swearing to her that I would avenge her that Jake Summers would suffer the worst possible torment for this and at that I collapsed again in a crying frenzy. Aunt Bella came in and found Lauren on the floor next to me hugging me trying to calm me down so aunt Bella came running and fell to the floor next to me and took me in her arms and rocked me back and forth until I calmed down. Aunt Bella loved me and Adrian very very much and this was tearing her up as bad as it was Lauren and me but Aunt Bella lost loved ones before such as my parents and a son in the war and a brother in the line of duty so Aunt Bella knew how to handle such situations. She helped me to my feet and sat next to me by Adrian's casket so we could greet friends and family that came to show their respect for Adrian. With Aunt Bella to my left comforting me and Lauren to my right I got through the night only to wake the next morning knowing that her funeral was that day. I dreaded that day the most. Paul and Aunt Bella had to pretty much carry me down the isle to our seat in front of the casket. I had to calm down cause I had to sing a song and say a little speech for Adrian. So I gathered myself and made my way up to the podium and sang our favorite song that we had for each other, "How Do I Live" and then I cried through my entire speech and Paul had to help me back to my seat stopping on the way to place 4 white roses under her hands with the pouch and kissed her again. I fell to my knees when I had to throw the dirt onto her casket, if it weren't for Mark being by my side I would have fallen in but he caught me and I fell to the ground crying and mumbling why's and I love you and pleads for Adrian to come back. After the funeral they took me back home and Aunt Bella gave me something to make me sleep that left me sleeping onto the middle of the next day. I woke up thinking it was all a very bad dream to see that it in fact was not that everyone was down stairs waiting for me to wake up so I snuck out of the house without a word leaving a note on my bed saying I had to be alone for a while and went and sat the rest of the day by Adrienne grave talking to her as if she were really there, crying and telling her that I missed her so much that I wished she were still here. Mark found me asleep on Adrian's grave and took me home. The next day Paul came by the house and told me that Jake's court date was next week that they wanted me there to testify. Mark and Uncle Simon assured that he would get the worst form of punishment that he would get the death penalty but my testify would put a seal on it and convince the jury to find him guilty. So I went to court and right up to the stand and looked over in the corner to see that bastard sitting there starring at me with this sick smirk on my face. I blurted out how's the head Jake? They of course called me down leaving some of the court laughing because everyone knew what I had done to him. That only pissed him off. I testified and the jury came back with the verdict of guilty. His sentence was one month in prison before he would die by gas chamber. That was the worst my uncle could do for me. That was fine by me as long as the son of a bitch got what he deserved. I went back home and tried to start back a normal life without Adrian. I didn't pack up her things I left them as they were and gave Lauren whatever she wanted of Adrian's which wasn't too much just a few pictures and articles of clothing and momentos from their own childhood. Three weeks later a week before Jake's execution was to take place I got a phone call from Paul telling me that Jake had escaped from prison and that he was coming out with three of his best men to keep an eye on me while some officers looked for him. As soon as I hung up the phone I heard the kitchen screen door close and then next thing I knew I was laying on the sofa and Jake hanging over me with this deranged look in his eye mumbling some sort of gibberish I couldn't understand, my head hurt something fierce and rubbed my head to find it bleeding. He tied me up and then told me not to move and when he left the room I began to get the ropes off. Jake could never tie ropes to well plus I was good as getting out of them from previous and less painful experience. When Jake walked back into the room with his shot gun I sat there as if I were still tied up. He pointed the barrel in my face and said, "You shoulda loved me you bitch." At that I kicked my leg out and knocked the gun out of his hand and ran like hell out of the house and into the woods with him chasing and screaming behind me. Soon those shouts were followed by shot gun blasts. He got me once in the arm throwing me to the ground near the river. He caught up with me and aimed the barrel into my face again and I kicked him again knocking him down. I grabbed the gun and he grabbed the other end. We fought over who was going to have that gun when it went off shooting him in the foot. He whipped out a knife and slashed my stomach and the my arm again which threw me back into the river causing me to hit my head on a rock. I then saw him standing over me with a big rock in his hand and I rolled out of the way just in time to miss the rock and pushed him down onto some rock causing him to hit his head on the rocks. The water around him began to fill up with blood and I thought that was it and all so I went to run away the best I could when he grabbed me throwing me down. I grabbed a rock in turn. He had one going to throw it and I had mine in hand to throw mine. I kicked him between the legs he dropped the rock causing it to fall on my leg breaking it. I let out a horrific scream allowing Paul and the two other officers that had just arrived to hear it and come running. I saw that the shot gun was with in reach so I grabbed it while Jake was still doubled over from the brain pain I caused and suddenly he found himself staring down into the shot gun barrel. Just then Paul saw us and called out to me to wait. Jake picked up another rock in that time and threw it hitting me in the stomach and that caused me and Paul to shoot at the same time. I ended up shooting Jake in the stomach while Paul got the head. Jake sailed back into the river dead, blood flowing down the river and Jake with it. I spent three days in the hospital, told Paul to have Jake's body burned. When I got out of the hospital I went straight to Adrian's grave, laid down next to it with my arm over her grave with 2 white roses under my hand. I closed my eyes and pictured her and cried and said, "It is over baby, we won, I got him" then drifted off to sleep only to dream of her walking through a beautiful field full of flowers and she starring at me and telling me I am at peace now, I love you and miss you and I will never leave you. Months has passed now. I still miss Adrian greatly but I feel her with me and know that everything will be OK but life will not feel the same without my Adrian.

If you have enjoyed §ara's "Her Story", then please be certain to e-mail her at  Chikadeebey[at]yahoo.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of §ara's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.