Sapphic Voices General Fiction

Silence

Sean sat quietly at the table while the lawyers finished the transaction. The last building. The last one sold. The final signature erasing ownership of the physical property she had worked so hard to attain. Fifteen years ago she had jumped at the opportunity a friend presented in selling her the three family that started her real estate ‘empire’. Over the ensuing years, Sean had learned to handle tenants, burst pipes, snow plowing, evictions, city compliance and the gamut of landlord responsibilities all the while buying and refurbishing multi family homes. Her efforts were constantly made towards the maintenance of all the units and she never felt she got ahead. Money was always the struggle, mortgages never stopped, and sometimes tenants didn’t pay. Bit by bit, her enthusiasm waned, but she kept trying anyway.


Her plan was always to retire by selling her holdings. She had not planned on meeting Cathy, falling in love, building a life together only to watch as she slowly faded from the cancer that consumed her spirit. Instead of blissful days on a golf course and evening sitting in a hot tub, Sean had to apply the money toward the medical bills. 43 and a long way to go before any thought of hitting the links could begin. Sean sighed. Rising from the table, shaking hands all around, Sean left the office in a daze. The check in hand would cover the final expenses that were made just yesterday. Cathy’s insurance paid off the house debt so she still had a place to live and the check’s balance could start her in a new life.

“What life?” she wondered.


Days later, family and friends came around, filling the house with noise and activity that could never fill the silence that seeped into its crevices. Blur was the norm and receiving other people’s sadness was claiming he last vestiges of strength from Sean’s bones. Her mother had kept the dishwasher flowing and her best friend Joe ensured food was readily available for all. Numbed and semi sedated, Sean received each person and them the proper exchanges needed for their own grieving. Later she would bury her head under the pillow in her now empty bedroom she and Cathy once made passionate love many times in. But for now, she was glad that Joe was there. He was up from Florida just before Cathy had passed and stayed on helping with every detail. He arranged for her mother to take the dogs, packed a suitcase for her and then whisked her away for a week in P-town to start the healing process.


Twenty hours after the last guest had left; route 6A into Provincetown was crowded with the summer’s crush of tourists. Sean stared out the window during the entire 4 hour trip. Joe stopped once for fuel and a bladder break, but Sean didn’t move. He kept up quiet banter talking about unimportant topics never prompting her for a response and for this she was grateful. Single, but not by tragedy, Joe had been coming to P-town for the last ten years. He owned a condo which would be rented out when he was not in town. Sean had always thought that was the smart way to invest; own property in a desirable vacation spot while the care, maintenance and rental responsibilities are the responsibility through a local agency. All he had to do was wait for the monthly report that accompanied a check.


Arriving at Joe’s place, Sean spilled out of the car, stretched and began the process of unpacking for the week ahead. After a long, steamy shower and putting on comfortable sweat pants and a T shirt, Joe greeted her in the kitchen with her favorite glass of wine.

“Ordered pizza, Sweetie.” Joe said as she stepped onto the balcony.

Turning to him Sean looked into her glass as if the words she wanted to say would magically float to the surface. “Joe…”

Sensing her feelings, Joe raised his hand, “No need.”

He then left her alone for most of the evening, letting her get acclimated to her surroundings. So he busied himself calling local friends and making arrangements for lunches and dinners. Sean called no one, not even her mother to let her know they had arrived safe. After pizza, Sean started the fire in the propane fireplace. Staring into the flames she said something under her breath.

“What hun?” Joe picked up his head from the appointment book he was writing in.

Clearing her voice, Sean spoke up, “Cathy would have loved being here. She always enjoyed your condo and the smell of salt in the air.” She went back to her musings. Joe looked at the back of her head from his spot on the sofa. “As long as you are here, so is she.”

“Then how come I feel like she left me and the hole in my soul is like a bottomless pit?” Sean was whining.

“Honey, the wound is fresh, but it will heal over. How you heal, will depend if it leaves a scar or not.” Joe’s years of therapy sounded like it was paying off. Sean giggled at the thought. She had been Joe’s rock during the twenty years of their friendship always giving him the advice. Knowing that he was most likely raising an eyebrow in curiosity, made her laugh out loud. That was when the giggle dam broke and she let it. She laughed until the tears finished rolling down her face and she lay flat on her back, hiccupping.

“Better?” Joe knew better than to interrupt her moment on insanity.

*hic* “Yup! I think I’ve had enough wine for tonight.” Sean sat up and looked with tired eyes at her best friend. “Joe, I think I’ll go to bed. *hic* I’ll take care of the kitchen in the morning.”

Joe kissed her goodnight. She knew the kitchen would be cleaned tonight. He’s such a neat freak. *hic* She crawled under the covers and slept.


Waking to sound of bacon frying and conversation, Sean wrestled with the depression that threatened to paralyze her, trying to keep her hidden from leaving the safety of the bed covers.

“Coffee?” It came from an unrecognizable voice, a woman’s voice, from right next to her bed. Opening one eye against the onslaught of light, Sean tried to see who it was that offered the brew. “Coffee?” The woman repeated. A blurry vision of reddish, brown hair in a business suit demanded a response.

“hmmmm….OK.” Sean yawned, sat up, rubbed her eyes and saw an attractive woman around her age holding that dumb mug with the picture of Joe and a former boyfriend on it. She took the offered mug and managed to say, “M-morning and thank you.”

“Joe and I are having breakfast. Join us when you are ready, but don’t take too long, we’ve a day ahead of us.” And with that the stranger left, not waiting for an answer.

Great, Sean thought. First day in her newly unplanned single life and an attractive woman saw her at the worst…first thing in the morning. Single life? Ugh. No, there were way too many issues she had to work through. She’ll enjoy looking but that’s it. Her heart would not be into anything for a long time.


Twenty minutes later she had pulled herself together enough and shuffled into the kitchen. Joe looked at his watch and handed her a paper plate of cheesy scrambled eggs, wheat toast, bacon and a cup of juice. All to go. And the kitchen was clean. Freak, gotta love him.

“Take it to go Sean; we don’t want to be late!” Joe was carrying a brief case and the woman went outside to hover at the door to her Suburban.

“Wait Joe!”

“No time! Let’s go!”

“Where?” she asked as she hurriedly climbed into the back seat trying to balance her meal.

“Tell you when we get there.”

With that they were off. Joe made the introductions as the woman drove. Apparently this woman, Maggie, was his real estate broker and also owned the rental management company he used for the condo. Sean rolled her eyes. She had met many agents during her time of buying and selling property that the last thing she wanted was to be associated with anyone in the business. Then Joe told her that he had made a good profit on his condo rental that he wanted to purchase another. They were on their way to the first appointment of the day.

“Couldn’t you have left me a note? I would have much rather stayed in today.”

“Nope, I need your opinion.” Joe was all smiles. Knowing she was obligated (if not rooked) into helping him, after all he had helped her through recently. She dropped her protests.


Three minutes and a half eaten breakfast later, they stopped in front of a house on the west side of town. According to (she was rather good looking) Maggie, the house was converted in 1992 to three condos. The available unit was housed in the former detached garage. They walked up the sloped driveway and met the listing agent. Before her the man was in drag: button down shirt, pale blue, conservative tie, pressed pants and rich leather shoes. His flamboyant mannerisms reminded her of the winner of the last drag queen show she and Cathy had seen at the Cape. Cathy had just started her treatments and still had the energy for travel.


Not overly impressed with the size and location of the unit, Sean never the less, listed as Maggie (she does have a nice voice) made the introductions all around. Henry (or was his/her name Eureka!) began his litany describing the property and its amenities. Ignoring the women, Henry constantly leaned into the conversation and questions Joe had. Sean hung back noticing the quality of workmanship of the remodeling job. Sean could tell that someone slapped up sheetrock over the original studs by the thinness of the walls. Then threw paint and light fixtures in place. The evidence of settlement and a slab foundation made Sean wonder about the possibility of termites and rot hiding behind the finished surfaces.

Stepping inside, Henry made grand gestures at the living space on the 1st floor with the half bath, kitchenette and new (cheap) cabinets. The second floor had two functional bedrooms and a small full bath. The materials used showed their price tag and were falling apart from wear. Water stains on the ceiling indicated possible roof issues. When Joe got a moment to consult Sean, she responded with questions: How much parking was assigned to the unit? How old was the roof? What was the owner still planning to upgrade? How much money was Joe will to invest in his own upgrades? Henry (Eureka!) looked at Sean as if seeing her for the first time. Turning to Joe Henry responded to her queries. Joe, nodded, smiled and suggested that they look at Henry’s second listing.


The day went on and finally around 3pm and 6 listings later, Maggie (she does have a nice ass, though) dropped them off with a promise to call Joe in a day or two. Sean flung herself on the bed, exhausted. Joe leaned in the doorway.

“Don’t do this again to me Joe. I haven’t the energy.”

“Sorry, hun, I just thought I could take advantage of you, since I knew you had no plans.” A pointed reply.

Sean looked at him and slowly smiled. “I know. I was hoping to have a brainless day and then start thing again in four or five years!”

“So, did you like any of the condos?” Joe wanted her to think again.

“Actually, that fourth unit did show some promise.” It had been located closer to the hub of Commercial Street activity and yet private enough to allow the weekly renters to get some sleep without the occasional noise from passing pedestrians. “No parking though. Parking is important.”

“What about the first place? Joe did refer to it several times today, which Sean knew which one he liked the best.

“Joe, keep looking.” Then an idea struck her. “How about a house?”

“I don’t want the responsibility.”

“I’m sure Maggie has a few under her rental accommodations and it would open up your search to more possibilities.” Sean showed some enthusiasm for the first time that day.

“I’ll think about it. Now, I’m going to nap before my grand entrance tonight at the Anchor.”


Maggie Cyrney drove straight after her long day with Joe Dennison and that woman Sean Meyers. The woman had impressed her. She just buried her partner and yet could still remain civil as they whisked her about looking at the available condos in the area. Sean knew her stuff about construction and home repair as well. Pulling into the drive, Maggie’s two shepherds bounded out to greet her.


Branches tore at their clothing as they tried to move through the dense under brush. Sean was leading Cathy through these unfamiliar woods they had been thrust upon. Cathy was cut and bleeding, and having difficulty breathing. Sean held her hand and sometimes had to cold her up as they constantly pushed through the unforgiving brush. As they reached a small knoll, Sean took hope as daylight grew from behind diminishing under growth. They had finally reached the end of the forest. Stepping into the clearing, Sea cried out in anguish. The woods continued beyond their small reprieve. Cathy sighed and then said “Let’s go.” They began the battle again.

Sean woke up in a sweat.


Leaving Joe to fuss over his wardrobe for his night ahead, Sean decided to walk around Commercial Street to find dinner and to window shop. Hands deep in her Khaki shorts, Sean fought the sadness and loneliness that threatened to send her running back to the condo. Instead, she focused on how long it had been since she was in town last. Three years it had been. The long, drawn out illness had only taken three years.


Friday night was starting to come alive. Sean walked past shops new and old alike and glanced inside the front windows. The volume of human traffic made it difficult for the vehicle kind to pass through the streets. Tourists openly gawked at the drag queens in full regalia and the camp dykes walking dogs in their flannel shirts and hiking boots that shopped mostly at the Army /Navy store. Sean even saw a non-descript couple kissing in a darkening alley. The T dances were ending and the bars were now open for the crowds. The restaurants were filled to capacity and Sean, for the first time in 8 months, felt hungry. Spotting Maggie standing with a few women outside of Betsy’s, Sean waved when they caught eyes. She then started again on her quest for a less crowded place to eat; Sean almost didn’t hear the running foot step behind her. Out of breath, Maggie touched Sean on the shoulder. Turning in surprise, Sean greeted Maggie with a hug.

“Where’re you off tonight?” Maggie had very nice green eyes.

“Just getting a bite to eat before I head back.” Sean played with the keys in her pocket.

“Come on and join us.”

“Uh, no thanks Maggie, that’s OK.”

Grabbing her hand, Maggie started leading her to the restaurant. “Come on, you’ll be fine.” Feeling the panic typical with meeting new people, Sean thought of the dream she had during her nap. But now, she was trying to get through the woods by herself.


Clara Joan and Alicia all proved to be good company. All four live in town and worked as agents throughout the entire eastern half of the Cape. Though they worked with different agencies, they had become fast friends during the years and met twice a month over dinner socially as well as networking about available property on the market. When winter arrived and the market slowed they met once a week, thus doubling their efforts for only half of the number of closings. But they each survived for another year. Conversation during dinner was light and enjoyable. Sean found herself smiling more and more inside as she slowly allowed their company to warm up the cold that had settled in her core. Talking about her won life, Sean tried to keep the topic of Cathy out of the conversation, but failed. Overcome a moment or two, the other women offered kindness allowing Sean to struggle then regain control of her emotions of her own accord.

Maggie then asked the question Sean had put to herself but avoided responding. “So, what are you going to do now?”

Sean crunched up her face but honestly had no answers.

“Seams to me you have a world of options.” Maggie said.

Curious, Sean asked, “Maggie, I’m just trying to get my feet back on solid ground, what possible options do you think I have?”

“OK. You have no debt, right?”

“Right” Sean glanced at the other women as to where this might be going to, but they looked just as curious as Sean.

“You don’t have another person to consider in you options, right?”

“Now hold on. Don’t be so callous. My girlfriend was buried not three days ago. Show some respect!” Sean, shocked and angry at the same time, now dismissed any thought of continuing her evening with this group of women and started to excuse herself.

Placing her hand kindly over Sean’s, Maggie continued with quiet insistence. “Sean, please understand me, I meant no disrespect. It’s just that now, you have a chance to explore any and all options. You could move to anywhere you want, do anything you please or be who ever you want to be without restriction.”

In her heart, she knew Maggie spoke the truth. Unable to speak for the moment, Sean then squeezed Maggie’s hand. “So give me an idea.”

The other women suddenly got what Maggie was trying to say. “How about taking a train ride across the country?” Joan quickly spoke first.

“What about buying a Harley and taking a road trip?” Clara had told them about her favorite trip with an ex girlfriend.

“What if you took a two week cruise to the Caribbean?” Alicia offered. “I’ll be happy to carry your luggage!” With that they all laughed.

“All great suggestions!” Sean began to smile again.

Maggie, silent while the others spoke, finally said what was on her mind. “How about you rebuild your real estate holdings again?”

Sean was surprised. “Ah, thank you no. I’m done with dealing with tenants.”

Maggie persisted, “Do what Joe did, buy property in vacation spots?”

Raising an eyebrow and glancing sideways to her, Sean teasingly said “Got any place in mind?”

Thinking she was being sarcastic, Maggie replied, “No, no Sean, you don’t have to buy here.” She waved her had indicating Provincetown. “There are other places besides here. I just suggested you get back in investing in property. I saw the gleam in your eye as you got into ‘the hunt’ as I like to call it. I was rather amazed that you really came alive when we were walking around today.”

Maggie noticed, huh. Even so, she was right. Sean had enjoyed herself earlier; maybe she needed to start again, even if it’s only been a week.

“So, Maggie, Clara, Joan and Alicia, do any of you have property for my consideration?”

Sean began to feel hope once again.

If you have enjoyed Jesse Linde's "Silence", then please be certain to  Contact The Writer  and thank her for posting this Story.

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