Sapphic Voices General Fiction

In One Solitary Moment

Jenna took her usual path through campus, walking past the fountains where countless students sat in small groups, past the main Science building on her way to the library for yet another long session of thesis research. As she approached, she saw the woman who always occupied the same spot on the grassy knoll in front of the library. This woman was in a couple of the same classes as Jenna, but she hadn’t gotten an opportunity to get to know her…a rarity since most graduate classes are small and require some degree of teamwork. And yet, there was this incredibly beautiful woman who didn’t seem to want anything to do with the others in her classes. Jenna couldn’t explain it, but she felt more than a subtle interest in this mysterious woman. Perhaps it was the way her long tresses fell from her shoulders and over the books she was always pouring over, or maybe it was the inexplicable distance she seemed to maintain…something about her piqued her curiosity. Jenna went on in to the library and began her work without giving in to the urge to approach the woman and, at the very least, introduce herself.

A few days passed, and Jenna found herself paired with the mysterious woman for a project in one of their classes. While this gave her an open opportunity to find out a little more about her, she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. This woman seemed so purposely aloof, and Jenna was anything but reserved when it came to interacting with others. She always considered herself to be affable in just about any situation, but she feared this one was going to be much more difficult. With an unusual, timorous feeling, Jenna initiated the conversation, “My name is Jenna, and we’ve been paired for this project. What’s your name?”

The woman glanced up at her, “I’m Sam,” she replied before looking back down at her books and papers.

She’s not going to make this easy, Jenna thought and decided to push a little further in her attempt to get to know Sam better. “Sam? Is that short for Samantha?” she asked.

Sam nodded silently without breaking her concentration on the papers before her…or was she simply avoiding getting too familiar with anyone? Jenna wasn’t sure, but became determined to find out. “Sam, we’re going to have to exchange more than one word answers and occasional head bobs if we’re going to get through this project,” Jenna said.

With a heavy sigh, Sam looked up at Jenna, “Ok, then, let’s stop the small talk and get busy, shall we?” she said rather tersely.

Jenna acquiesced, albeit tentatively. The tone in Sam’s voice and her annoyed expression left her with little choice but to lay off. There seemed to be a coldness in Sam that Jenna had trouble deciphering, but while she heard the coldness in her words, she couldn’t find it in her face. Sam had a unique softness in her face…in her eyes especially, but her gruffness presented Jenna with quite a quandary. All the signs told Jenna to back off and give Sam the distance she seemed to want…all except for the gentleness she saw in Sam’s face. And what a face it was, too. Sam had piercing blue eyes…the kind that could rock someone with just the right glance or stare. Her complexion was almost creamy, and Jenna was in awe of her beauty. She knew that gleaning any information about Sam was going to be an arduous task, but she was willing to give it a try.

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In the weeks following their rather curt introduction, Jenna and Sam worked on their project with very little in the way of small talk. Jenna saw Sam sitting in her same place on the grassy knoll everyday as she went about her usual schedule. Sam was becoming more and more of a puzzlement to her…she’d tried everything she could think of to befriend her, to no avail.

The two met to put the finishing touches on their project, when Jenna decided to be a bit more forward in her attempts to get closer to Sam. “You know, we’re almost finished, and we haven’t really gotten to know each other, Sam,” she said somewhat tentatively.

“Look, I’m not in graduate school to make friends, ok? Let’s just get this finished,” Sam replied, clearly irritated.

“Sam, I just thought…,” Sam stopped Jenna there with a raise of her hands and a steely glare from her intense blue eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what you thought. I don’t have time for friends,” Sam replied while surveying their work, “I think you can finish from here.” With that, she picked up her things and left.

Jenna sat down, a bit stunned at the abrupt manner and tone that Sam had taken with her. Although, the more she thought about it, the less surprised she became…Sam had given her no real reason to expect a different response. Every sign, every indication told her to let well enough alone, but Jenna’s mind came back to the softness she saw in Sam’s face and eyes. There was definitely something behind the outwardly gruff façade that Sam projected, and the more Jenna thought about it, the more she felt her seemingly inexplicable attraction to Sam begin to escalate. All evidence to the contrary, there had to be some credence to the nagging allure that Jenna felt…her sense about people couldn’t have failed her this badly, could it?

Days went on, and Jenna still saw Sam everyday…occupying the same spot on the grassy knoll in front of the library. While she still had a head full of questions about Sam, Jenna had, for the most part, decided to concede to the obvious fact that Sam was unreachable. It was difficult for her to ignore the ache that her heart felt, confusing as well. The ache was easy to recognize, as it was the same emptiness she felt when any of her relationships had ended. But there hadn’t been a relationship this time, making the miscellany of emotions she felt almost impossible to comprehend. She had no idea why she was experiencing such heartfelt sentiments for someone who obviously had no interest in her. Every time she got close to letting go, she’d catch a glimpse of Sam’s exquisite face in her mind’s eye, reinforcing the dull, aching emptiness that she’d been feeling.

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It was a rather dreary day, and Jenna found herself walking more quickly than usual to the library as the gray sky threatened to open up and drench everything beneath it. Her pace slowed dramatically, when she saw Sam. While she was in her usual place on the grassy knoll, she wasn’t hunched over her books. Instead, her face was upturned, looking aimlessly into the angry sky above. As she got closer, Jenna was able to see tears mercilessly streaming down Sam’s face. The inexplicable ache she had felt when she thought of Sam returned with an overwhelming power that made her want nothing more than to hold this woman and make whatever pain was behind those tears go away. In that one solitary moment, she was able to see a part of Sam that had been so carefully guarded.

Jenna was so fixated on the expression on Sam’s face that she didn’t notice the slow drops of rain that were beginning to fall. She was jolted back to her senses with the cold feel of the rain, and pulled out her umbrella. Sam was just sitting, face still turned toward the now showery sky, as Jenna knelt beside her, allowing her umbrella to give some shelter from the increasingly heavy rain. Sam looked at Jenna with a somewhat perplexed expression. Jenna just smiled and said, “I thought you might want to share my umbrella and get out of this mess.”

Sam nodded wordlessly as Jenna reached a hand up to wipe away the tears from her face and helped her to her feet. Once they’d gotten Sam’s belongings together, the two headed for the Student Center where Jenna was able to gather some napkins from the cafeteria. She helped Sam dry off before taking a seat in the adjacent chair. Sam had a sorrowful look about her that brought back Jenna’s instinct to reach out and hold her. She resisted that urge, though, and asked Sam if she could get anything for her. Almost as if she hadn’t heard the question, Sam said, “She just left me. She didn’t say why. I came home, and she was gone.”

Sam was so obviously distraught, that Jenna decided to follow her initial instinct. She stood, moved over to where Sam was sitting and, placing her hands gently around her, pulled her head to her chest. She was surprised that Sam seemed to fall so peacefully into her embrace, but there she was, allowing Jenna to do what she so desperately wanted. It started to make sense now. Jenna began to understand why she continued to feel so strongly about Sam, as she always seemed to know when someone was in need of comfort.

Sam broke their silent embrace, “Oh, God, I can’t believe you even bothered to help me. I’ve barely given you the time of day,” she stammered.

Jenna just smiled and began to explain how she felt that there was something more to Sam than she was willing to show. Without giving it much thought, she proceeded to explain how she saw that graceful softness that she now knew was more than just an underlying component of Sam’s beauty.

Sam absorbed all Jenna said with amazement that this woman could be so perceptive as to see the very thing she’d been trying so hard to conceal. Ever since the break that she had babbled nonsensically about, Sam had slowly become more and more circumspect…never allowing her emotions to have any say in her life, thus guarding her from the kind of pain she’d been forced to endure. By a simple twist of fate, Jenna had crossed paths with her and had been able to see through her defenses…and they owed this culminating insight to one solitary moment.

If you have enjoyed angeldaybreak's "In One Solitary Moment", then please be certain to e-mail her at  angeldaybreak[at]yahoo.com and thank her for posting this Story.

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