Sapphic Voices General Fiction

Love May Withstand Anything?

Part 3

On the school holidays my family took me and my little brother on a regular trip to Gippsland to see family. While I was out on a family lunch at a restaurant, Lana text me saying, ‘I love you!’ I don’t know why, but half heartedly I said back, ‘Yeah you too.’ Then a few days later Lana confessed to me that at the same time she was telling me that she loved me, her lips were kissing some other boy. I did not care about her kissing someone, deep inside I was glad; but that fact that I was cheated on ate me up. That very night I scratched my shoulder in anger, being too foolish to keep the relationship going. When I finally got home I broke up with her. I was so hurt and lost all trust. I became down once again. Slicing my wrist I tried to escape it all, it still throbs to this very day.

I was not in the most healthy of positions, I was down on my knees bleeding and broken. Since I had got together and broken up with Lana, Steph had dated at least three boys, all lasting only a couple of weeks; they obviously weren’t the one for her. I fell into her arms, She was still one of my best friends we talked everyday about my hurt and past, she was there for me to let out my steam and finally trust in someone to tell what I had been through.

One night we were talking and she let slip that she had a crush on someone. She told me that she liked me. I felt tingles shoot through my body. My heart pounded, my thoughts raced. Something I had not felt before, not even with Kate or Toni. I felt the spark of passion and longing. Instantly just like that I fell for her again. Deeply this time, how could I not of seen? The lingering hug at the school production where she was such a beautiful snow white; the very flirtatious nature of our friendship. There was a building fire and passion and I could feel it.

I became afraid of my feelings; not having gone through such feelings before; a week or so passed and I feel more in love every minute I spent with her. Deciding that the feeling was too much and scary, I backed up. I was so confused and still battling depression. All I knew that the feeling was so intense, and that it confused me. So called ‘friends’ made the situation a lot harder than what it had to be; everyone was so blind to see that I was just running away because I was afraid of falling in love.

Me and Steph did not speak for a week, until I, having had enough of missing her, decided to talk to her and get her back in my life. Gracefully but hesitant she accepted. Our first date was in November; we went to see New moon at the movies, I don’t really remember the movie much, as I was to concentrated on such beauty sitting next to me. I wanted so badly to feel her soft hand in mine, to feel that fiery sensation whenever we touched. But I was too shy, she seemed to take that as I didn’t like her and didn’t want to be with her when in fact, it was quite the opposite.

In summer she smelt like her Cherry Blossom perfume, and her favourite coconut moisturiser, which I have come to crave so much. Every time I smelt something remotely similar, my heart would always spike, still does to this very day.

Christmas time soon came and I was invited to the lake with her and her friends to watch the carols. At first I was shy, but I soon became comfortable with her sitting by my side. Night time soon came, and I was getting tired and worn out, she offered for me to lay down in her lap, so I did. I remember that moment so clearly, even down to what we were wearing. She is beautiful, medium brown hair, sparkling green eyes, at that moment, everything was perfect.

I remember looking past her to the stars, closing my eyes and wishing this would last forever. Opening my eyes once again, I found her smiling down at me. Oh god I was falling so deeply in love, I was beginning to get embarrassed at how wet she made me between my legs. Oh how I do love her and I always will.

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