If you don’t come tonight
I’ll have an aching void.
Wandering in the land of emptiness,
I’ll wait till the morning come.
Upon my feet
Growing branches of solitude
Slowly I’ll turn into fruit
In which, loneliness
Has risen from the roots.
Last night, in a dream,
my mother met Jesus Christ
terrified and confused,
she asked Jesus Christ:
"Jesus, why God gives me
a lesbian daughter?
why with all of God's power
why did not God change her?"
Jesus look at her and smiled:
"God gives you a daughter
God makes you a mother
And that's all it matters."
"But, my mother said,
Why did not God change her?
My daughter is a stubborn
she said God make me in his image
why should I change?
You know, God did not
make her a lesbian."
Jesus said:
"That's right God makes
her in his image
she is love
she is nature
so what is the matter?
Why would God
Want to change her?"
Then Jesus Christ
walked away humming
I am love
I am nature
and that's all
it matters.
My mother woke up
even more confused.
I still can see you
In the branches
Little by little
You become a fragrance
I can still recognize your hair
I can still hear your voice
In the air
Among the leaves
I can still see you
Walk in the door
I still can see you
Stand in the elevator
I still can see you
Through the window
Your body fallin'
Like a paper leaf
I can still see my grief
In despair, I still hope
To hear you singing
Among the leaves
I still want to smell you
Like smelling the fragrance
Of a flower whose shape
Has changed to a form a kiss
I still can see your body
Fallin' like a paper leaf
I still can see myself
Stunned
Horrified
Terrified
I Cried
One morning in September
Don’t cut your hair too short,
Keep your clothes clean
Walk. Don’t run. Sit still.
Don’t sit your with legs
Open. Be a lady-like.
Help me make dinner
Add baking powder to the beans
So they’ll keep their color.
Help me set the table
When you eat, don’t chew
With your mouth wide open
Sit straight. Always be polite.
Be a lady-like.
Enjoy yourself at the party.
Be friendly. Always smile
Be interested in what
others say to you. Be
polite. Learn to be a lady-like.
Keep up with your grades.
You are very smart
You are very intelligent
Maybe you’ll marry
A guy with good income.
...
Why did you turn out to be lesbian?
You have come, honey, from a land
far-off in my memories. I am pretty
sure now that I’ve seen you there
so many times. For your rhythms
and your name are so familiar.
It’s so easy to spot you in the undulant
waves of men and women because you
carried along pieces of a place where I belong.
Your voice, that quiet whisper, that silent
sound of the restless heart. The first time
I heard you speaking I asked suddenly:
"Why does it sound so familiar? Why
does it sound so close?" knowing not
it’s the sound of my wandering soul.
How often I loved you without remembering
your face - without seeing
you. I simply loved you as I loved
the smell of autumn.
Subconsciously, I waited for you
Autumn leaves waited for you for
so long their color changed dry, rustic.
Darling, I loved you without knowing I did;
I waited for you without knowing I did.
And when you were here with me I touched you;
my life froze. You took me like a wildfire
in the forest. And the flame of passion
obeyed your orders!
If you have enjoyed Boles' Poetry, then please be certain to e-mail her at boles_n[at]yahoo.com and thank her for posting her Work.
Click here for a list of all of Boles' Stories and Poetry at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
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