The first morning light bares a subtleness
torched and singular in movement
the fired breath that lingers
in the moments after that initial rock
when you held me tight with lips parted
and we both cried into the stillness
The clinging and twisted limbs
perspiration dripping from your brow
and seemingly from my chin
that high up arch, my arms holding you
from behind as you pour sweet
into mine
We tried that scissor thing
with our legs spread far to touch
the inner wisdom
when I kissed you
it ran so deep
in that mornings embrace
Now the day has begun
the silvery tones have faded into harvest
the wind gathers leaves in her hands
and strews them about the highways
and yet
you still lay in my arms
drenched from yet anothet whim
another arch where you cried my name
and kissed my lips
I want to walk inside
the small places of time
and taste the forbidden fruit
I want to lean too close
to the raging fire
and feel my skin tingle all night long
I want to dip down far enough
scraping the inflamed walls
grasping hold of the shaking
and bucking, the eruptions from within
I want to live without shadows
without restrictive chains
unless you bind me to tantalize
I want to walk in the newly-formed shore
as each tide brings another layer
another tier.
They say my people hail from Mississippi
my mamas side anyways
my father, his daddy was from Kentucky
a mean hateful man, rigid and unforgiving
ran with that silly group called themselves the Klan
never did know why a person could be so evil
as to hurt another just for the color of their skin
like them southern boys be better than anyone
who they foolin dressed up in them white sheets
paradin around like they owns the world
and no body better try and step on them
such silly antics for supposed grown ups
I snicker and wonder when they gonna ever
My mama she was a kind womyn
and she made my daddy into the man
he became
before her, he was a shiftless drinking man
never caring more for anyone he come by
and surely never wanting anything, aspiring
to nothing but the emptying of another bottle
but he must have seen something in her eyes
made him quit his carrying on and settle down
and then they moved from Mississippi
and come on down to these parts
and they got comfortable in their ways
and familiar and had them a nice family
but them first two babies drowned in the well out back
and mama never seem to smile anymore
even when i would bring her flowers i picked
down by the creek than ran past our farm
my daddy he blame himself for them poor babies
he didn't know they had wandered down to the well
and fallen right in and no one knew for days
where they had gotten to...daddy was supposed to be watchin them
got busy with the farmin and just didn't see
and then he and mama they cried for days
i could never bring them any happiness
they would see me and cry all over
and then one day when the cop was bring brought in
my father tore outta that house 3 weeks since they been gone
and he rushed that well and let out a cry so loud
inside of me it echoed for years his pain
and them was boys that died and i thinks to myself
he wasn't happy that only thin left was me a girl
he never take me anywheres and never looks me in the eye
thinking maybe it had been better if Is' the one don died
Im older now and i have forgiven him some
for the ways he couldn't manage and the love he couldn't give
my mama she don passed away a few years ago
leaving him to start up with that bottle again
it don't matter much now, nothing to be sober for
a big ole girl like me still living and caring for him
still i see the hurt in his eyes...that those boys did die
and still i don't see any loving in there for me
but I stay with him, aint got anywhere else to go
but i remember when I was a little girl
I used to go sippin lemonade down by the crik
watching that other girl swimming naked
and o my that little girl and I we did some playing
touching and kissing under a quarter moon
i remember the way the honeysuckle lingered in the air
long after she laid with me down by the waters edge
looking back now i realize to myself that she was my only
happiness ever...had no one else and no one else wanted me
so she and I would creep on down there every night
when the sun had rested itself on the other side of the world
and we would hold each other and dream of one day getting away
I wish now Id have gone with her..to anywheres out of the south
anywhere out of this holler...find some people who also hail from Mississippi
and got stuck somewheres down here.
Its hot and raw
my fingers touching you
I want to enter into
the darkest places
of your soul
if you will just let me taste
that power
that erupts from you
each time our lips meet
The way you make me smile
surrounds my inner peace
effortlessly my shell
falls to the ground and
the world applauds
Im not vunerable
with your love holding me
The storm brings more wind
howling through the panes
sometimes the windows
themselves seem to buckle
and I chuckle
remembering how silly I am
in storms
wishing you were here
holding me deep inside of you
a place with heat that bares me deep
all I can breathe is you
Rain falls this day in the wake
of too much humidity
the clouds whisper and moan
saying your name
a thousand times into a night
that is destined for you and I
if only I could bring Chicago closer
then I could have the dreams
of my heart
Traffic whooshes by
thunderous in the early morning dawn
again I awaken wrapped around
a pillow worn out from my squeezing
wishing it was you that felt me longing
long into a midnight that breathed
in the last scents of pear
that subtlety of you that lingers
long past the dreaming state of mind
Bold and wet
the way she shrugs
off the slightest
bit of embarassment
with a simple strut
the kind that shakes you
to your core
trembling she is all you want
all you desire and she knows
just how to make you sweat
when she is that wet
and begging silently
for you to unleash your passion
So it was just seconds
that held us against the night
as
the simple sounds of traffic
in the distance seemed
to purr
it didnt really matter
the whole world became silent
when I reached for you
and you kissed the spaces
in between time and reason
when you let out a gasp
because the fire raged
deep inside of us both
sharing but a single breath
Its prisms light
a marquis cut
across the lanterns path
hypnotizing me
trance like I search for you
awaft on a breeze
though finding myself
alone in this dream
I hold myself deep within
and remember how
you plunged right in
taking me all the way
to heaven
A blue world lays
dying in the summer sun
with a voice so strong
(coming from me)
though it could have been anyone
The muffled cries
anguish and dispair
uncontrollable laughter
I didnt want to share
her staring eyes
as they ripped into me
raping was her game
but her victim had no name
I am strong
a power unto myself
she cant hurt
what I cant feel
and like the wheel
I keep turning around
feet planted firmly
upon the ground
If you have enjoyed Carol Marie's Poetry, then please be certain to e-mail her at carybehr[at]comcast.net and thank her for posting her Work.
Click here for a list of all of Carol Marie's Stories and Poetry at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
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