Sometime in Autumn
the leaves fall one by one
to the flat surfaces of time...
Sometime
I will call your name
wondering
if there are still moments left
to ponder
in the memories
of falling
in love with you...
Sometime in Spring
the blossoms are
fragrant
tiny petals with alluring
elixirs
that arouse and captivate
your scent is such to me...
Sometime
in Summer
warm nights that glow
beneath the fronds of
of an ancient palm
its tendriled fingers
massaging
the inner depths of
who we are together..
Sometime in Winter
beside the glowing embers
of silver oak and newly aged pine
I will ask you to dance
one more time
with the bear
of your seasoned dreams
Sometime
in the middle of my life
you found me
I didn't run
instead I opened
to the possibilities
of the universe...
Sometimes
I find myself
laughing
full smile
that lends itself
to all that I touch
and in that
magic
I am in the vision
of all that can be
Cloudiness
Sometimes
I have sat staring
aloft in space
many fleeting thoughts
racing so quickly
I couldn't grasp
long enough
to record
any of them...
I'm at a loss
Words
that rip
really rip
my first response is tears
but the stupid water continues to fall
then what
rather than return the banter
I retreat
into anger
and ultimatums
only known to me
confusion reigns supreme
When I see you now, across the hall
your back to me...
the back that for 10 years slept so close to me
your beautiful shoulders that rounded into me
your neck
the neck I kissed for 10 years
soft little murmuring kisses
that held us in the silence
of midnight
I see you reading or typing
words I will never read
thoughts I will never know
and your lips
I will never feel the brush
of them on my own
I will never again taste
that which you held open for me
I will never draw in the breath
that you exhaled
I never will hold you again
nor feel your beautiful fingers as they
run through my hair
I know that I will love you
for a long time
I just hope that it doesn't
hurt like it hurts now
to know
what I know
Spring born of spring
how the air fluttered around me
whenever she walked
into my world
night dreams
that bore no resemblance
to anything I had experienced
before
the feelings for her
kept me warm
tucked into slumber
a dam has broken
the floodwaters
come straight
from my heart
my eyes
will never see a spirit
such as she
again
One of the hardest things I have ever done
was to watch the steam fog the mirror
with the bathroom door
just slightly ajar
knowing my boundaries, your boundaries
I couldn't throw open
the door and step inside
to kiss the softness
of your shoulders
I couldn't hold you in my arms
I couldn't feel
the water
as it left you and ran
onto me
because of those boundaries
Some nights there is a comforting
that comes in knowing
she is still across the hallway
but that comforting feeling
is often followed by the hollowness
of what is in the future...
a life without her
I can't move
my feet and brain
feel cemented in self pity
or maybe just being alone
just me
apparently I've been foolish
or maybe undesirable
or maybe
she just grew tired
of
just me
everything
I write
seems banal
insipidly dreary
o geez
is it really
just me
All things aside
all emotions tucked away
I put up a good front
not wanting anyone to see
the cracks just above the response
the gaps just below the compliments
the screaming, impetuous emotions
I can't stop the crying
she just doesn't want me anymore
she didn't ask
me to go with her
She says she wants her life back
and I have to wonder
what kind of life do I have now?
If you have enjoyed Carol Marie's Poetry, then please be certain to Contact The Poet and thank her for posting her Work.
Click here for a list of all of Carol Marie's Stories and Poetry at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
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