I listen to the lies you always speak
The look in your eyes tell of the deceit
Yet I fall for them again and again
From these lies I cannot defend
Without so much as a second thought
I believed when you said my heart was sought
Blind to the error of your ways
I was a fool to believe a thing you say
Waited for the day that you would change
Just time I wasted and that is a shame
You knew I would give you all I had
Instead I was left heartbroken and sad
How could you be such heartless bitch?
Under your spell I was entirely bewitched
Night after night I sat in agony
Did I deserve such wretched acrimony?
I feel nothing now for the tears you shed
I don’t want to hear now what should have been said
It is your bed now to lie alone
The truth to me has finally been shown
Now I am gone and to whom do you turn
When you are the one who now feels that burn
Lace that bowl and puff puff pass
Come on now and make me laugh
Got my nose job courtesy of coke
Me? Addicted? What a joke.
Paging my dealer because I need my fix
Waiting on that crackwhore to finish sucking his dick
I have no problem and I stay away from crack
Like Whitney had said that shit is whack
I can always pay in cold hard cash
I’m not so bad that I am giving up ass
I never did heroin and only snort coke
Me? Addicted? What a joke
Nose is bleeding and won’t fucking stop
Dripped right in the shit I was about to chop
My blood mixing with coke on the mirror
This time he will hit me and I know true fear
Better make up for it before he gets meaner
Where the fuck did I stash that extra teener?
Everyone watching how we split up the coke
Me? Addicted? What a joke.
Gimme the foil I’m gonna smoke this shit
Mikey just took a huge fucking hit
Next thing we know he’s hitting the floor
It’s ok because now we get more
He smashed his head so now it’s bleeding
Wasn’t too worried he never stopped breathing
He don’t want a doctor and says he didn’t o.d.
Just give him a line and leave him be
Been up for so long I don’t even know
Spent the rent money on stepped on blow
Doesn’t matter what was used when it was cut
As long as I don’t get sick or pain in my gut
Dealer got busted so no more good coke
Me? Addicted? What a joke
Can’t you see I am doing just fine?
At least I am in my own corrupted mind
I don’t have a problem and it’s only coke
Me? Addicted? What a joke.
Gotta be happy for Friday night
Gonna head out and not looking to fight
It’s only 9 when we walk in the bar
Heads held high like some superficial star
The bar is empty and not a single seat filled
You can still see where last night beer was spilled
Break out the shot glasses it’s time for some Jack
The first one of many that we gonna tilt back
Music is playing and conversation starts flowing
It’s about damn time this night got going
She knows she looks great and I can’t resist
I just had to pull her close and give her a kiss
Next thing you know we both were getting wet
Owner sprayed us with water because he’s upset
A few minutes later he still pretty pissed
Tells us to leave saying he got dissed
We walk down the stairs laughing off our ass
Doesn’t matter where we are it’s always a blast
On to the next place and ordering drinks
Take a step back and my feelings sink
An ex to my left and an ex to my right
Look around my friend nowhere in sight
It’s getting late but there is time for one last shot
Let’s make it tequila and the best they got
Get to the house and now we gotta pack
It will be a few hours before we hit the sack
Off down the road to the clubhouse we go
What tomorrow would bring neither could know
Need some sleep so we are ready for the ride
A beautiful day filled with Harley pride
Finally can crash just before it gets light
The best part is I held her all night
From higher up the call comes down
They think of me as only a foolish clown
As their own stupidity and greed devours
Inside all that is good in me starts to sour
Insult to injury is the name of the game
Then they tell me I am the one solely to blame
I made a mistake and of that there is no doubt
Let see how far they get on their own clout
Exceptions in the past no longer even matter
They think it is only my life that will shatter
I sit here and listen to everyone constantly bitch
A break from this bullshit will be a diplomatic switch
They tell me I’m fired then gave me a raise
You still are fired but let us continue to praise
Tell me to keep to the grind while sucking on my sobs
What stops me from saying fuck you and this job?
To be honest I don't care, my tank has no more gas
So why don't you pucker up and kiss my lily white ass.
Fortunate was I to hold an angel in my arms for one enchanted night. Her wings engulfed me as a tranquility that I had lost returned to me. That night for the first in many countless lonely evenings my heart felt no plight. To Heaven we rose so close that I caught a glimpse of the gates only to fall back to earth in a spiral of her restless dreams. I woke to find her struggling with an inner torment that caused me to ache for her. As I gazed upon her uneasy sleep I mused what demons haunted her dreams. Were the dreams similar to the painful yet repressed memories that had stalked me as I rambled through my own agitated nights? I took it upon myself to whisper words of comfort letting her know I was there and I knew of her suffering. As serenity from my gentle whisper filled us both she allowed me to be encased once again within her aura. So completely has she captured my heart that each beat echoes her name and her musical voice still strikes a symphony into my very soul. I openly welcome the imprint she has left on my essence knowing I am for the better just to have known her. The feel of her breath upon me and how soft her skin still lingers vividly in my memories. The softest utterance of sighs play ceaselessly in my head and they light my fire anew. As the morning light filled the skies I prayed that my angel would not take flight. Alas as all of those who have been touched by an angel we know that to be allowed one glorious night is to be forever blessed. Always will I cherish knowing I had her…for at least that one night.
Oh so sweet and tempting are the abhorrent shinylicious
This my homage to those we know we shouldn’t have
The ones who walk into our lives and we say YES!
The entire time ignoring our minds screaming NO!
Like a child with untreated ADHD we turn to them
Oh so sweet and tempting are the abhorrent shinylicious
We are doomed from the onset to resist their perceived charm
No questions are needed; we might as well have a crystal ball
Always starting so damn good and ending so damn badly
A simple innocent conversation and from there to the bedroom
Oh so sweet and tempting are the abhorrent shinylicious
Then the names must come…the dreaded horrid names
Names like asspipe and fuckdouche are the least offending
Even when we tell them it is over they are already afflicted
They stalk us and it is as inevitable as bird shit hitting your car
Oh so sweet and tempting are the abhorrent shinylicious
The summer of love has again begun
A new glimmer appears in my eyes
To a new day my hope rests undying
A canvas of vibrant color fills my vision
My eclectic dreams carried on the breeze
Soulful songs replenish my weary mind
A new found affection gives life a purpose
Beneath a Royal Empress tree I am alive
The blooms overhead cascading down
The fragrance fills the air around me
An aroma between gardenia and jasmine
The sun's silken warmth washes over me
A soft smile spreads across my face
Feeling refreshingly blithe is so sublime
My spirit is again animated and viable
The walls have finally been knocked down
My heart has no fear and holds her inside
She alone will know all there is to know
From her there is nothing I will ever hide
Simply open up and see what we found
Take my hand in this walk through life
Love misconceived
Lost in her whisper
A verbal infliction
Alacrity lost in apathy
A void embellished
My faulty semblance
A cloaked savage soul
A tarnished heart
Reveled in anguish
Never to be absolved
A hedonist of pain
I can take no more
Not mine to possess
Yet can I set her free?
My heart hangs by a single frayed thread
Tethered dangerously to an obstinate love
Unmindful, it threatens to carelessly fall
She is the only one to save it from shattering
The denial lies in her closed eyes and mind
A tragic belief that to love will be her demise
She hopes for love that will leave her breathless
While gasping for the words to tell me just that
I am her unrealized yet willing marionette
Wishing only to comfort and please her
Instead I am left alone, dormant and hollow
My love is left to smolder and it fails to warm
My only solace is the memories she gives me
Her smile, her laugh, her wit and a lasting kiss
If you have enjoyed Maureen L.'s Poetry, then please be certain to Contact The Writer and thank her for posting her Work.
Click here for a list of all of Maureen L.'s Stories and Poetry at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
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