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I want to tear off your chains and
Break you out of your tower
I want to show you how beautiful you are
I want you to see yourself
As I see you
I would hold you close
Gyrating to tribal dance rhythms
In some illicit club
I would lie naked on a beach next to you
Weave strands of kelp in your
Hair, the colour of honey
I want you to be open to me
This could be our secret place
Away from your stern father
From his pulpit, preaching sin, subservience
And eternal damnation
I would shower your luminous body with forbidden kisses
But I can and will do no such thing
You are far away
All I have of you are these words and this empty longing
For Adrienne
A crude, Sufi-style bird
Crafted by a four year old child
Crossed out by her teacher
Thrown into a cage
Erased
My magical land
My druids, elves, and fairies
Replaced by mathematical equations
Desperation
A teacher down the hall
Kept a bird caged in his class
For this, I hated him more than anything
Although I never so much as learned his name
Rebel against the clock-driven rules
Oh, distant, faceless god
I’ve wasted years of my life
I’ve painted birds flying free
Cages falling open
But what of my own freedom?
My younger brother and mother
Would sometimes walk in the clover field outside
The window I sat beside
Staring at the chalk board
Taunted by the sun
Wanting nothing more than to whirl
In the clover until all sightsmellsound
Blended into a psychedelic vision of beautiful disorder
Once I left my bed at dawn
To run through the forest laughing
Finding a secret swamp and singing songs of love
To a tree spirit who never showed his face
But appeared in my hidden dreams every night
The afterglow of his kisses evident only to me
In the morning light
Take me to the ashram
Where sunlight flows through the trees
Leave me alone to meditate
And drink from a brook where lotus blossoms raise
Their faces to the sun
Take me to the harbour
Where the ocean washes onto the shore
Take me in your arms and touch me
Drive me crazy with your fingers as we fall into the sand
Touch me with your searching tongue
Watch my body turn to fire
By light of the moon
You tempt me, moon
With dreams, whispered seduction
The spirit within
This hedonistic flesh
You awaken in me
Something I will always
Long for as
The flame lusts
For something to burn
And I, the moth
Offer myself
By light of candle and
Crescent moon
To the glow of
Primordial power
Lying dormant
In my body
Shine here
Beneath this flesh
Even as it dies
And fades into dreams
Beneath you, crescent of the night
A sense of peace hangs over you, my friend
Irrepressible joy
Two days after I met you
We spent the night in my basement
Like Shams and Rumi, we talked all night
Your movements call to mind a bodhisattva
Walking a potentially dangerous path
Your hedonism could kill you, friend
You shrug and continue on your way
As though someone as beautiful as you
Would fade away from this earth without a piece
Of bone to mark your passing
Like Shams, you would give your life for perfection
In a place where hatred is taught from an early age
For Jared
Margaret Haugen's e-mail address is unavailable.
Click here for a list of all of Margaret Haugen's Stories and Poetry at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
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