My breath stops,
Our eyes lock
I quickly look away,
Desire flows up through me
And there’s nothing I can say.
No reason,
This season
Should drive me so crazy,
Love is worship from afar
And it’s all I’ll ever see.
Can’t tell you,
I want to
But it will have to wait,
Things would never be the same
And your beauty is my bait.
Perfection,
Direction
I have nowhere to go,
Love you more than anything
You feel like my second home.
So restless,
No chances
To tell you how I feel,
Never seems the time is right
And I question what is real.
I want the vibrations of your soul
To flicker through me even more
Than they did before.
I want the pink flushing of your cheeks
Your beautiful asymmetry
To be there for me.
I wish I hadn’t said “I love you”
But don’t you know that it’s too true
What am I to do?
I’m not asking you to change your mind
You can’t reciprocate so fine
But I want your time.
It’s been established that you won’t talk
I’m being rash against the clock
I can’t let you walk.
Don’t run from me ‘cause I spared you that
I know that I’m just being rash
Risking what we have.
I don’t want to lose this don’t you see?
Our friendship beats asymmetry
Can’t you set me free?
Two weeks have passed and now it’s too late
To resurrect my twisted fate
But it kills to date.
My little black book
Is full of secrets
And there are more still to come,
Take another look
And see what I reveal
Before the day is done.
When you read my poems
It feels as though
The whole world’s dropping dead,
When you read my poems
It feels as though
I’m no longer strung out like thread.
I fill the blank pages
Tirelessly it seems
To enlighten both you and myself,
You deserve better wages
For listening to my streams
Of heartache and lost wealth.
When you read my poems
It feels as though
I’m so different now from then,
When you read my poems
It feels as though
Someday I’ll be whole again.
Don’t know who I am anymore,
Losing my religion,
Making sense of it all’s a chore,
Like doing long division.
The fire crackles and burns,
Embers sailing into the sky.
I think of everything wrong with my world,
Trying not to cry.
I need to clear out the clutter in my mind,
And in my heart and soul.
All these feelings are useless I find,
When they make me lose control.
I wish I had someone to talk to,
Who would understand my pain.
I never know what to hold on to
And what to leave out in the rain.
Things can be so sensitive
And I hope I’ll be all right.
Every other minute puts a twist
In the road walking alone at night.
Now I walk into the shower
Pretending I didn’t cry last night,
My heart is a white powder
Laced with drugs and eternal fight.
Hot water rolls off my back
And sends a shiver through my veins,
My body should be blue and black
For all the feeling that remains.
I always want to paint it red
Because my envy is so green,
It would seem I’m in the orange again
Although you don’t know what I mean.
Yellow and purple are all that’s left
In the calm before the storm,
This colour theory seems like a theft
Preventing my soul from keeping warm.
I have a secret to divulge,
Can’t you see it in my eyes?
Or is this layer of makeup
Still a well-worn disguise?
You know me too well,
You’re the only one who understands.
No one else can ever tell
Why I think my flaws are contraband.
Unfolding my misery
Still feels like being stripped,
I pretend it’s not killing me
But inside I’ve been whipped.
I just don’t want to freak you out
When you have better things to do,
Your worries only leave me in doubt
Of whether I should’ve told you.
Now I’m performing damage control
To glue the pieces back together,
Prolonged depression takes its toll
And the road to sanity takes forever.
We used to talk for hours
Every week on the phone
What happened to the power
That kept me from bein’ alone?
Now the connection is dead
You cut the telephone cord
And now I go to bed
Cryin’, and who’s to blame?
I never thought this would happen
I didn’t think that it could
I racked up my phone bill
And you cut me off good
Now the connection is dead
You cut the telephone cord
And now I go to bed
Cryin’, and who’s to blame?
I still don’t know what hit me
But I try to pretend
That I’ll get over it,
And someday I can love again
Now the connection is dead
You cut the telephone cord
And now I go to bed
Cryin’, and who’s to blame?
Writing these words on the paper,
Your troubles are engraved in ink.
Yet you have not met your maker,
Or found the missing link.
This pointless construction of verse,
Mindless addiction of your brain,
But how could it get any worse,
When you’ve already gone insane?
You cage your mind up in sections,
Foolish little thing you are.
You cannot begin to question,
The nature of your scars.
The obsession you have with your body,
Affixed on all its flaws.
An image you think is unsightly,
Based on the media’s laws.
Never accepting your identity,
Always wishing you could change.
These things are related like symmetry,
You should know well enough at this age.
Never promising to improve things,
You sink further into a rut.
Wanting to dissolve the sting
That penetrates instincts of your gut.
Sick as you are, you animal,
It won’t get better unless you talk.
You can vomit ‘till your bedpan is full,
Or reveal the desperation you lock.
Demon cages have shattered your soul,
Yet you’re too stubborn to give up the fight.
You think that you can’t be consoled,
Don’t you know you’re not always right?
It’s as if I’m still alive,
I’ve been preserved so well.
You’d say that that’s a lie,
Because how can I be dead?
But I know the things you don’t,
What keeps me up awake.
There are things I will and won’t,
But I always put my heart at stake.
Will I never learn to love,
In the ways that I should?
Misery fits like a glove,
Makes me do what I never could.
Because of that I’m dead inside,
I watch blood flowers grow and bloom.
And I always have to hide,
No matter how much my thoughts consume.
I have become adipocere,
Living two feet off the edge.
I wish I could disappear,
Because I don’t see an end.
Just why did I trust you
With my secrets so dear?
You heard all my screaming,
Helped me let go of my fear
You’re starting to teach me
To let people in
And that’s the best lesson
That life’s ever let me win
There’s times when I’m lonely
Or times when I feel bad
About the info that I gave you
Knowing you’re scared makes me sad
‘Cause you’re starting to teach me
To let people in
And that’s the best lesson
That life’s ever let me win
But I’m starting to think
You taught me too well
More things just keep slippin’ out
And all the rumours are hell
You’re starting to teach me
To let people in
And that’s the worst lesson
That life’s ever made me win
Now it seems to me
That I was born to lose
‘Cause people put me down
When I’m just tryin’ to choose
How I wanna live life,
It’s not much to ask
I just have to hope
That this verse ain’t my last
If you have enjoyed Sara Aldsworth's Poetry and Stories, then please be certain to Contact The Poet and thank her for posting her Work.
Click here for a list of all of Sara Aldsworth's Poetry and Stories at Sapphic Voices Authoresses.
|
Sapphic Voices Main Pages: Home Adventure | Drama |
Erotica | Fan Fiction | Fantasy | General | Horror
|
Copyright © 1997-2011 Sapphic Voices. All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, all site content is entirely owned and is solely maintained by Sapphic Voices.
Absolutely no portion of this page may be reproduced either electronically or otherwise without the express
and written permission of the copyright holder, except as occurs in normal browser caching and page indexing.