Sapphic Voices Romance

And On We Go

Over the next few years Brook heard through the grape vine of Shell’s marriage. With in the first eighteen months she had her first child, then her second almost immediately after the first. It seems to Brook that Shell was trying to loose herself in mother hood. If she could not have everything she wanted then she would at least have the children she wanted. And in the raising of these children she could find her happiness. Brook, on the other hand, found another way of dealing with the loss of her dreams. After selling the house in White Bear Lake she moved to Central Florida. If nothing else the distance might help her forget Shell.

Over the course of the following five years Brook drifted in and out of a number of relationships. In spite of all her attempts she could not help but compare the women she dated to Shell, and always there was the fear that one day they would wake and decide that they were going to leave her for a man waiting somewhere in the wings. One after another the relationships would fail, and this only made things seem more and more futile as the years wore on.

In spite of all her romantic failures Brooks career was blossoming. She worked hard at perfecting her talents as photographer. Over the years she had the opportunity to show her works in many galleries around Florida, and even through out the country. The one thing she was careful not to do was to return to the Twin Cities for a showing, though her agent was often nagging her to do so. Then finally, five years almost to the day of Shell’s wedding, she gave in and agreed to return to the Twin Cities for a showing. It was advertised as the artist returning home, and the art community seemed to be eating it up.

With a heavy heart, and much trepidation, Brook headed for The Cities. Shanna and Jean met Brook at the airport when she returned. "Girl, you are looking great!" Shanna exclaimed as she caught sight of Brook disembarking the plain. Throwing her arms around Brook and lifting her off the ground in a great big bear hug she continued, "You just can’t stay away this long, my friend." Shanna’s short blonde hair shimmered in the Midwestern sun, catching brilliantly on her light Scandinavian skin, and sparkling in her mysterious hazel eyes. A wide smile lingered on her face as she added, "It is good to see you, Brook."

Turning to Jean Brook gave her a big hug. "Thanks for coming to pick me up ladies. My agent said her would get me a limo and a driver, but I did not want all that. I just wanted to see some old friends." She said to the women as she locked arms with them and they made there way to baggage claim. Jean’s long brunette hair danced as the three woman half skipped down the concourse. Her slender, feminine frame caught the eyes of many of the passers by as they continued on there way.

"So tell us everything Brook." Jean insisted as they walked along. "It has been so long since we have seen you." She added. Over the years they had kept in contact with e-mail, and phone calls, and once a number of the gals from the old gang had even come down to visit Brook in Florida, but still there was five years of every day life they had missed out on and they were anxious to hear all about it.

"Oh......, what is there to tell? I went away an almost nobody, and came back a star. There has been beautiful woman, and lavish parties, but most of all I miss the days when we would hang out at the Metro, and scope out the babes." Brook tossed her head back and laughed.

"I’m a girl watcher, I’m a girl watcher....." Jean sang out to the tune of the Wheel of Fortune. They all giggled at the thought of the old days.

"So what is new here? Anything you have not told me?" Brook asked. A part of her wanting for them to tell her any news they had of Shell, but the rest of her wanted to leave that chapter of her life closed.

"Nothing all too spectacular here, just the same, old same old. Mostly we have told you everything in our e-mails. Of course we did not tell you that tonight there will be a big shindig at my house to welcome you home, Brook." Shanna said. "Everyone is very excited to see you again after all this time."

By then they had reached baggage claim and busied them selves finding Brooks luggage. She would be in The Cities for a month, but she only brought a small carry on, and one small suitcase. "That is all you have?" Jean asked as Brook grabbed up her bag from the revolving carriage. "Aren’t you staying for a month?" She inquired.

"Yes I am, honey, but what ever I don’t have I will buy. If I bring more then this the air lines is simply going to loose it. I am surprised they did not loose this bag for that matter." Brook explained as they headed for the parking ramp.

"Oh to be rich...." Shanna sighed.

"Come on girls, let’s go. It is not all that it is cracked up to be." Brook replied.

"Yah, that has got to be a bitch having to go out and buy all new stuff each time you travel. I can see why people are always so tentative to join your ranks." Jean teased as they made there way through the tunnel to the garage. Driving back to Shanna’s house the three women talked about the show, and about all the other thing everyday things Brook had missed out on over the years. She got the quick update on the gang, and who they were all dating. Shanna was single again, but Jean had found herself a delightful woman about two years before. Brook had heard about Randi (Jean’s girl friend) already, but she was interested in more details.

"You will be staying with me still, right Brook?" Shanna asked.

"If that is all right. I don’t want to inconvenience you." Brook said.

"Of course not. I have been planning on you staying, and I would be hurt if it were any different." Shanna replied.

"Do you mind if we stop by the gallery on the way. I want to get a quick look around, and make sure everything is how I want it." Brook asked.

"No problem, babe." Shanna said, as she exited the free way toward the gallery.

"This way ya’ll will get a chance to see the exhibit first and tell me what you think." Brook added. A few minuets later they pulled into a small parking lot by the gallery. Walking to the door of the building Brook pounded on the huge glass doors. Shortly there after a striking woman in her mid thirties came to the door. Recognizing Brook she unlocked the door and invited the women in.

"Brook, I did not expect you until tomorrow." The woman said, a little surprised.

"Ladies, this is Dolsa, my agent. Dolsa, these are my good friends Shanna, and Jean." Brook said introducing the women. Dolsa reached out her hand to shake the women’s hands. Her flowing brunette hair, fell softly over her shoulders. Her light brown skin, and dark brown eyes echoed the appearance of someone who had long since left there circle of friends. But her slight Hispanic accent somehow erased the similarities to the other.

"It is nice to meet you, ladies. I have heard a lot about you over the years." Dolsa began. "Please walk around and tell me if you like the way everything is set up." She encouraged. As Dolsa invited the ladies to look around the three women began to make their way around the gallery. On all the walls were photographs that Brook had taken, beautifully framed, and accompanied by a small card on the wall next to them with a title.

Once Jean and Shanna had made there way around the room they stopped at the center of the room were an island wall had been erected with a collection of pictures titled "Faith". Intrigued, and deeply stricken by the arrangement of photos the ladies circled the island as they studied the display. All of these pictures were in black and white, and they appeared to all be of the same woman. The first was a Native American woman, clad only in a white sheet that was draped around her back and under her arms, concealing everything but the one leg that emerged from the crease of the sheet. Her head was turned from the camera, and her long dark hair concealed her face. The next picture as they rounded the wall was of the same woman bathing in an old, claw foot, white tub. The picture was taken from behind her, and once again her face was concealed because of the camera angle. The bubbles of soup concealed her form, except for the tops of her breasts, and her knees that peeked out of the water. Her head was thrown back and her long flowing hair hung over the back of the tub, as her arms rested on the edges. The next in the grouping was of this beautiful woman sitting at a mettle garden table. She was dressed in a long flowing white dress. The scene was filled with what appeared to be fog rolling in. Set at the table were two delicate Champaign flutes, half full of Champaign. In the distance was a figure walking toward the woman. The fog concealed the identity of the person, only revealing that it was a woman. The next picture was a shot of the same woman lying in a canopy bed, made with brilliant white sheets. Draped over the Harsh mettle canopy of the bed was a white chiffon fabric that appeared to be lightly blowing in the breeze from a window somewhere out of the picture. Once again the white sheet concealed most of the woman's figure as she lay on her stomach. Her back was partly peaking out of the sheet, along with one leg, and an arm. And again her hair concealed her face. The last picture in the grouping was of the woman standing on a dock, alone in the night, as she awaited the boat that was cutting through the fog towards her. Her hand to her face, as she struggled to see the boat through the fog, her long dark hair flowed in the night breeze, as she pulled her light, white shall around her with her free hand to stave off the cool night air.

The two women looked intently at the photographs. "These are very compelling, Brook. What ever was your vision?" Shanna asked knowing full well with out having to ask.

"It is a progression. The first glance at someone you know you have to have, the meeting, and progression of a relationship, and the final good-bye." Brook replied to her question. "The truth of the matter is that these are old pictures that I took long ago. I never felt ready to show them till now. Somehow it all seemed appropriate here." She continued on. Dolsa was now standing behind the three woman, taking in the photographs again. Brook had never explained anything about them to her, nor had she told her of Shell. Now, however slightly, she had a better idea of what this set was about, and why Brook had been so hesitant to return to the Twin Cities.

"So how do you like the exhibit?" She asked the women, but mainly concerned with Brooks opinion.

"I think you have done a wonderful job, Dolsa. What do you think, ladies?" Brook asked turning to them.

"Very compelling." Jean replied. "Especially these." She added.
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After surveying the gallery the three ladies continued on to Shanna’s house. That evening as Shanna had promised all her old friends showed up to welcome her home. They were all so proud of her and happy to see her successful. Throughout the night Brook went around taking pictures of everyone. It seemed to be such a happy time and she did not want to forget a moment of it. The next evening the show would pen and she would get to see them all again, but she would be working that night and unable to save each moment on film. So that night she took advantage of every opportunity that arose.

It was late by the time everyone left for the evening, and later still for Brook as she was still an hour ahead of Minnesota time. Her day had started early in Florida, and she felt like she was going to collapse soon. "Well, that is all of them." Shanna exclaimed as she shut the door behind the last guest on there way out. "You must be exhausted." She said looking at Brook who was now slumped in a chair, her eyes barely open.

"Thanks, Shanna, for everything. It was great of you to get everyone together." Brook said to her as she sat up in the chair, trying to muster the energy to chat with her for a while.

"It was nothing. When everyone heard you were going to be in town they all wanted to see you." She replied. "You seem a little sad, sweetie. Are you all right?" Shanna asked compassionately.

"Oh you know, I am just a little tiered." Brook tried to cover with a smile. The truth was coming back here was harder then she thought it would be. It had been nice to see all her friends, but the obvious whole left by Shell’s absence cut at her heart like she had not expected. It had been so long since they had gone their separate ways that it only seemed right that it should not hurt so much. "They say that time heals all wounds...... Well they lie." Brook said to herself.

"Sometimes it takes a little longer with some wounds I imagine." Shanna replied. Brooks heart beat heavy, she did not realize she had said that aloud. Shanna could see the surprise on her face as she walked over to her and squeezed into the love seat beside her. "It is going to be all right, sweetie." Shanna assured her. Brook could feel the tears welling up in her throat and she struggled to hold them back. Her eyes glazed over slightly, she was so tiered it was hard to control her emotions. It had been
years since she had cried over Shell, and she did not want to start again, afraid that she would not be able to stop.

Brook sat in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Tenderly Shanna put her arm around her shoulder to comfort her. "I am sorry, Shanna." Brook finally began. "I did not mean to be......all depressing you know." She said. "I should truly be happy to be back here getting to see all of you again, and then with my show opening tomorrow..... anyway I am sorry."

"Not at all, Brook. You have nothing to apologize for. She was your world, and she then took it away from you with out warning." Shanna said softly caressing Brooks shoulder trying to comfort her. Brook had never truly spoken of any of this to anyone over the years. At the time she had merely tried to get through it, and after that it seemed as though it was a moot point to dwell on it any longer. "It is all right, Brook. Talk to me.....have you ever even talked about it to anyone in all this time?" She asked.

"What is the point, anyway?" Brook replied. "No amount of tears, or pleading, or complaining, or feeling sorry for myself will change it?"

"Yes, but it may change you. You have carried this alone for so long, and it is only hurting you. It is time to talk about it, and maybe time to let it go." Shanna said encouraging Brook to let down her walls for just a moment. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or the sheer weight of this burden she had been carrying so long, but it all came out that night. For hours they sat and talked as Brook described the feeling of betrayal, of helplessness, and the impossible standards she had always placed on her girlfriends over the years. There were tears, and angry words for Shell Brook had never let herself speak until that night.
Finally as the sun was coming up, exhausted from their conversation, and the lack of sleep, they fell asleep in Shanna’s bed were they had moved to at some point throughout their discussion.
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After sleeping away almost the whole day Brook got up and dragged Shanna to the mall to find the perfect evening wear for the night. The opening was to be formal, so she had to get something stunning. She had contemplated getting some kind of dashing suit, maybe topped off with a white, silk, scarf, but when she had seen this amazing evening gown she knew that was the one she had to have.

Emerging from the dressing room clad in the floor length, spaghetti strap, black sequin gown Brook did a pirouette for Shanna. "How does it look?" She asked her friend. The front of the dress plunged to reveal Brooks voluptuous breasts, and the back of the gown also revealed more then Shanna expected to see. Down the one side of the dress the seem split to about six inches above Brooks knee, all in all leaving little to the imagination, as the dress hugged her chiseled frame. "I feel sexy in this number." Brook admitted as a crimson shade of red ran across her face.

"You look stunning." Shanna said at a loss for any thing more to say. Brook watched as Shanna’s eyes moved the length of her body, and then quickly back to meet her eyes. A little embarrassed at being caught checking out one of her oldest friends, she blushed.

Picking up the white, silk shall she had found earlier, she draped it over her shoulders. "I thought this would add the extra little something that the dress needed." Brook explained. "What do you think? Shall, or no shall?" She asked giving her one more turn with the shall on, then letting it fall off her shoulders and turning again with out it.

"I think it looks great either way, but I like it just a little bit more with the shall." Shanna replied.

"Well then, the shall it is." She said and then disappeared into the dressing room once again. Returning in a few moments, dress in hand, she said, "Well lets go then. I have only one more stop to make. I have got to get a necklace to wear." Handing the dress to the attendant who was hovering over them they followed her to the front to pay. When the bill came to over two thousand dollars for the dress and shall Shanna choked on the amount, trying not to act like it was that big a deal.

Making there way to a jewelers near by Brook wasted little time picking out the diamond necklace she wanted for the evening. It was a beautiful platinum chain with two sapphires on either side of a large oval cut diamond. She also took the matching sapphire earrings to round out the ensemble. Of course the price of the jewelry made the price of the dress seem like pennies. Shanna’s face showed her surprise at Brook’s extravagance, but Brook just pulled out her check card, and smiled. "You may put it on this."

The woman behind the counter looked a little unsure about the card as she surveyed the two woman dressed in old blue jeans and army boots, but she then turned and ran the card. Returning in a few seconds she said, "Thank you maim. Will that be all?"

"Yes." Brook replied, and with a thank you and a nod to the sales woman the ladies left to get ready for their evening.

Arriving at the gallery at about four to arrange the last details of the show Dolsa met the ladies at the door. "My, you are looking rather stunning today, Brook." She said as she greeted the two women. "As are you, Shanna. So many gorgeous women, so little time." She said, ushering them inside. Shanna was wearing a short red dress, that snugly wrapped her upper body, and then fell loosely over her legs. The spaghetti straps and even neck line showed off her well defined shoulders. Her short blonde hair allowed a wonderful view of her lovely feminine neck. She wore small diamond studs, and a matching diamond necklace. All in all she was very inviting. Dolsa, always the fem, wore a divine floor length, black gown that gathered at the shoulders and plunged slightly towards her breasts, careful not to reveal too much. There was a shimmer to her dress as she moved and the light caught the dazzling fabric.

"Thank you, Dolsa." Brook said as she kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You are looking just as beautiful as ever, my friend." She repaid the complement. "So how is everything coming?" Brook wasted no time in getting right down to business. Before a showing she always got a little nervous, but this afternoon it was somehow even more so. It was very important for everything to be perfect today. "Is everything all set, or is there anything that I can do?" She asked.

"The Champaign is chilling, the hours devours are being readied, and there are a ton of servers waiting in the wings." Dolsa explained. "If all goes as planned there should be a full house all night." She smiled as she saw a slight amount of Brook’s concern begin to melt away. "Don’t worry, honey, everything is going to be wonderful." Dolsa promised. "Now why don’t you two just relax, maybe walk around and make sure you are still happy with all photographs. Let me worry about all the little details." She prodded. "Have I let you down yet, sweetie?" She asked.

"Of course not, hun." Brook replied as she allowed herself to relax a little more. "You have always seen to the smallest detail. Thanks." She said giving her a quick embrace, and turning to Shanna. "Well let us walk around and take one last look before the crowds arrive." She said locking her arm with Shanna’s as she dragged her off to make a final round of the rooms to make sure everything was perfect.

Taking there time as they made there way around the gallery Shanna and Brook discussed each of the pictures. Brook would explain the reason for the picture and it’s possible meaning, and Shanna would tell her what she thought of each of them. Time flew by once they became involved in the photographs, and before long there were people showing up for the opening.

Just as Dolsa had promised the evening went off with out a hitch. By the time the night was over Brook had sold a number of her pieces. The night was a huge success, and everyone seemed to love her work. It was also nice for Brook to have her friends there that evening. But once again the night was drawn out far to long for Brook and she was almost asleep on her feet by the time the last guests left that night. Once everyone else had gone home for the night Shanna and Dolsa packed Brook into Shanna’s car, and she took her back to her house to sleep.

The gallery would be open from noon till nine six days a week with her work showing all the while for the next month, but luckily Brook would not have to be there all that time. She had made a promise to be there each Friday night after the opening, and other then that she was free to do with her month back home as she pleased. But that night she was not concerned with how she would occupy herself over the coming weeks, she was only concerned with getting to bed and to sleep.
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The following morning Brook awoke to find that Shanna had already left to go to work. "What ever should I do with myself today?" She wondered to herself. Shanna would not be home till about four that afternoon, and that gave her a whole day to fill. After getting dressed and eating she made up her mind to take a cab to a car rental agency so she could get a car to use for the month. After getting a nice car she found herself driving around town with no particular place to be.

Before long she found herself out side her old house in White Bear Lake. She did not remember planning on driving there, she just some how ended up there. As she sat across the street from the house she could feel all the old memories she had suppressed flooding back into her mind. Why had she driven here. As if it were not hard enough being here in the Twin Cities, she had to sit across the street from their old house, like some kind of love sick puppy.

Shaking her head, as if to rattle out the memories that would not stop, she started up her car again and headed for the park. Brook had always enjoyed walking to the park when she had lived there. It was peaceful, and watching the children play made her feel like there was hope out there in this great big world. Parking away from the other cars Brook sat for a while just watching the children playing as their mothers watched from benches by the playground. After some time she decided to get a little closer. Getting out of her car she made her way over to the edge of the playground, and found a seat on an empty bench.

It was about a half hour later when she saw a little girl near the edge of the playground with a big red ball. Looking around for the child's mother, and seeing no one seemingly with the little girl, she began to pay close attention to the child. Standing and walking casually toward the small girl, afraid of the child playing so close to the edge of the park, and subsequently the road. Looking down the street she saw a car approaching rather rapidly. As the car got closer the toddler dropped the ball, it hit her foot, and rolled into the road. With out thinking the girl chased after the ball. Brook was now darting toward the little girl, her heart pounding in her mouth, concerned for her safety. Just as the girl was about to step into the road, and right in front of the car Brook grabbed her up off the ground and jumped back away from the road. The shrill sound of screeching breaks and the horrified screams of the mothers who were now fully aware of the incident, filled the air.

"Are you all right?" Brook asked the little girl as she set her on the ground and slumped to her knees. "You have to be careful playing by the road like that. Some people drive way to fast down this road, and you don’t want to get hurt." She instructed the seemingly unaffected child.

From behind her Brook heard the strangely familiar voice of the child's mother. "Alexandra Brook, my god baby, are you all right?" The girls mother called out to her as she ran for the small child. Brook’s heart skipped a beat, and then sank as she could not believe the awkward situation she had just stepped into.

"Oh, shit." Brook said under her breath. Standing, with out looking toward the approaching mother, she walked into the street to retrieved the ball. Turning back to the two Brook slowly began to walk to them. Holding out the girls ball she said, "Here you are Alexandra."

"Thank you so much for saving........oh my god." Shell said as she looked up at Brook and realized who had come to her child’s rescue. ".......for saving my little Alex." She finished her thought. "I just don’t know what I would have done if......" She trailed off to afraid of even finishing the thought. "Thank you. Sweetie, I want you to meet an old friend of mommy’s." She said taking her girl’s hand. "This is Brook. She is a famous artist. What do you say to her?" She asked.

"Thank you Brook. You have the same name as me." Alex said with astonishment.

"It was no problem, sweetie. Just remember what I said about playing so close to the side of the road. We don’t want you to get hurt." Brook responded. As she turned to walk away Shell grabbed her arm gently, sending shivers up her arm.

"I heard you were in town. I wanted to come to the opening, .....but I thought it might be a little strange." Shell said to Brook as she turned back to look at her.

"I am sure you are right." Brook replied. Alex took Brook’s hand and swung it back and forth.

"Are you going to play with me for a while?" She asked.

"Alex, I did not even know you lived here. How long have you lived in White Bear?" She asked Shell more then Alex.

"We moved here about three years ago. We found a nice little house near here that was in our price range, and I always loved White Bear." Shell answered Brook’s question.

"Well I am glad that things are going so well for you, Shell." Brook replied as a stabbing pain shot through her heart. She never knew quite what she would say if she were to run into her again, but this scenario had never crossed her mind. "I better get going." The tension was thick as it hung in the air that separated them. Shell looked so beautiful standing there in her dark blue levis, and tightly fitting black sweater. Brook knew she had to get out of there, and right then or she was liable to say or do something she was sure to regret.

"Please, let me thank you for looking out for Alex. What can I do to repay you?" She asked as the three of them walked back to were Shell had been sitting before. Brook’s mind raced with all the smart replies she could come up with for adequate repayment of her actions. Instead, however, she held her tongue.

"Really, it was nothing. I just saw a child about to get hurt, and you know me, I could not let it happen." Brook responded.

"Daddy!" Alex cried out as she ran for a man that was walking their was.

"Oh shit!" Brook hissed under her breath. If there was one person she truly did not want to see, this would be the one. "I am out of here." Brook said trying to take an opposite direction as Shell’s husband Daniel was coming from.

"Don’t worry. Alex will want to introduce you." She said once again taking hold of Brook’s arm. Unable to get away Brook stood next to Shell as her husband and little girl approached.

"Daddy, this is Brook. She saved my life." She beamed to her father as she introduced her new hero. "She is an old friend of mom’s." She added.

With out even a slight hint of discomfort Daniel held out his hand to shake Brook’s. "It is nice to meet you, Brook. You saved my daughter’s life? Well, I don’t even know how to begin to thank you." He said. "You know I never have really had the chance to meet many of Shell’s old friends. This is truly a rear pleasure." He added.

"You have no idea." Brook thought to her self as she shook his hand. "As I was telling Shell, there is no need. But thank you." Brook said trying to be polite, but wanting to be anywhere but there.

"At least let us have you over for dinner." He asked.

"Really, I am sorry, but I am already late for an appointment." Brook lied as she tried to escape this unbearable predicament.

"Well then, some other time." He said as he shook her hand again.

"Thanks, Brook." Alex said as she threw her arms around Brook hugging her.

Trying to be casual Shell hugged Brook as well, "It was great seeing you again. And if there is ever anything I can do for you let me know. We are in your debt." She said as Brook began to move away.

"It was good to see you as well. Take care. And Alex, be careful when you play." Brook said as she walked as fast as she could to her car. From there she went straight back to Shanna’s house, afraid of being caught in some other uncomfortable twist of fate.

Shanna came home about an hour after Brook got back to her house. "Nice car, Brook. So what did you do all day?" She asked as she walked into the living room were Brook was engrossed in some mindless t.v. Show.

"Oh, nothing much. You would not believe me even if I told you." Brook said with out even looking up at her. Shanna knew that Brook would not part with the story so she let it drop.
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The following Friday night when Brook arrived at the gallery as she had promised Dolsa met her, "So a client was in here this week and was really interested in some of your work. But they were hopping to get a chance to meet you. I told them that you would be here tonight, but for some reason they said they would be unable to come here tonight. I got there number....in case you want to call. It is up to you." Dolsa said. "She was really cute, and a lesbian, you never know. She may be good for at least a little company, if you know what I mean." Dolsa teased.

"Thanks, Dolsa." Brook smiled and shoved the number into her pocket. She was a little uncomfortable by the whole idea, but intrigued at the same time. As the night wore on she continued to battle over weather to call this woman or not. Who know she may have been a stalker, or some kind of strange art groupie. By ten that night she had decided to call after all. What was there to loose?

The phone rang a few times, and then a man answered the phone, "Hello." His voice came through loud, and deep.

"Oh, I am sorry, I must have the wrong number. I am from the gallery...and I was given this number....." Brook began, but he interrupted her before she could finish.

"Hold on, you will be wanting my wife.... honey." He called out as Brook waited on the line.

"Boy when Dolsa is wrong, she is really wrong." Brook thought to herself.

"It is the lady from the gallery you have been waiting to hear from." She heard him explain to her on the other end.

"Thanks, hun." She said as she got on the phone. "Hi, thanks for calling back." Brook’s heart stopped as she recognized Shell’s voice and her, and her obvious omission of Brook’s name. "I was really hoping to meet with you and discuss some of your art work. I loved all of it, and would like to buy some of it."

There was a long pause on the line as Brook tried to decide what she was going to say to her. Finally she answered her, "When would you like to meet?" She asked. "And were?"

"How about tonight, and I will pick you up at the gallery after it closes." Shell offered.

"Very well. I will be done here around two in the morning. Will that be to late?" She asked.

"That will be fine. I will see you then." And with that the phone went silent, and Brook hung up.
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By the time two a.m. came around Brook was very nervous. The evening had been nothing more then a blur for her, and the next few hours held more questions and uncertainty then the last five years of her life combined. Up till that point the questions had been running through Brooks mind. Was Shell unhappy? Did she want to get back together with her? Did she just want to buy some of her art and she wanted one last bit of Brook’s attention?

"We will see you tomorrow at brunch then, Brook?" Dolsa asked as she and her girlfriend exited the gallery with Brook.

"Yes, I will meet you at the restaurant at ten tomorrow?" Brook asked.

"Yes. We will see you there." Dolsa replied. Stepping onto the side walk the three of them caught sight of Shall waiting patiently by her car. "You little devil, Brook." Dolsa taunted as she jabbed Brook playfully with her elbow. "So you did call her. Looks like someone will be getting lucky tonight." She added.

"It is not what you think. She is married." Brook tried to convince them, but all the while she hopped that Dolsa was right.

"That never stopped many women in the past, and it will not slow them down in the future." She added.

"It is not like that. I know this girl. She won’t jump the fence tonight." Brook assured them. With that and a kiss to them both Brook walked over to Shell, still standing leaned up against her car. She looked spectacular, and Brook could not help but run her body with her eyes. It was a cool night, and she wore her hair down as it blew lightly in the breeze. She wore a light black, silk jacket nearly concealing the tight fitting white sweater, hear black Levi's also hugged her body nicely, on her feet she wore a pair of cute open toed sandals. It seemed to Brook that it was a bit chilly for those sandals, but Shell must have remembered how much she loved seeing her in sandals.

"Hello again, Brook." Shell began as she stepped in closer to Brook to give her a hug.

"Shell. It was good of you to meet me tonight." Brook replied as she accepted a hug from Shell, and then kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Well if you want to hop in we can go." Shell suggested.

"My car is right over here. I will follow you all right?" Brook asked, still uncertain what the night held for the two of them. If it turned out bad Brook wanted to be able to leave at any time.

"Still a little skeptical, and paranoid?" Shell asked. "No matter. Just follow me." She said as she slipped into her car. Brook followed her as she had promised as they drove through the familiar streets of the Twin Cites. After about ten minuets they pulled into the parking garage of the St. Paul Hotel, a grand old hotel in downtown St. Paul over looking the Mississippi River. Pulling up beside Shell’s car Brook parked and got out of her car.

"So what is the deal with the hotel, Shell?" Brook asked.

"Well, I thought it would be privet, and we could talk with out any interruptions." She said with out any hint of any type of extra curricular activity in her plans. With that Brook followed Shell to the elevators were they made their way to a huge sweet near the top of the hotel. Opening the door to the hotel room that she had obviously prearranged Brook was astonished by the lavishly beautiful room.

"This is a very nice room." Brook commented as she came inside and laid down her coat, and bag. "Just happen to have this on hand?"

"No I wanted to make sure that we had a nice place talk." She said. "Check out the balcony. There is a beautiful view of the river from here." She said. Slipping her shoes off Brook walked out onto the balcony, and looked over the river, and out at the city.

"This is really beautiful, Shell. It was sweet of you to do this." She said looking back inside at Shell.

"Would you care for a drink, Brook?" Shell called to her.

"Yes, thank you." Brook replied. A few moments later Shell joined her on the balcony bringing with her a mimosa for them both.

"Here you go." Shell said handing her the beautiful crystal flute of Champaign and orange juice.

Taking a sip of the delicious drink, Brook licked her lips slightly, and said, "Nice." Trying not to give into her desires for this beautiful woman standing in front of her. In spite of her resolution she found her self scanning Shell’s shapely form, slowly. Images of a life long gone found their way into her thoughts as she longingly drank her in. Fixing her eyes on Shell’s once again, Brook physically shook her head in an attempt to remove her wondering thoughts. "So you wanted to discuss my work, then?" She asked getting back to the supposed reason for their meeting. There was a pause as Brook watched Shell’s eyes move over her body. There was a look that was familiar, and distinctive. She knew right then that the art discussion was secondary at best.

"Yes, ...oh course. I stopped by the gallery the other day. I was hopping to find you, but instead I found some incredible photography. It was truly phenomenal, Brook." Shell said as she closed her eyes as if remembering every piece.

"Thank you, Shell. That means a lot to me." Brook replied with a smile.

"I always knew you were talented. It was just a matter of time till everyone else saw what I could see in you." Shell continued. Brook turned to look out over the river in an attempt to hide a blushing smile. Shell’s words stuck a cord with her, but they were bitter sweet. In all Shell’s supposed adoration for her she had still been unable to hold on to the love they had shared. Hopes ran through her mind that now, finally, maybe she would be able to admit her undying love for her. "Hey are you blushing, Brook?" Shell asked as she gently laid her hand on Brook’s shoulder attempting to turn her back around. "That is so adorable." She added.

"Don’t be silly, Shell, I am just admiring this beautiful view." Brook replied. Shell’s hand still gently rested on her shoulder, and sent shivers up and down Brook’s body. Turning back to Shell now would surely give her feeling away, so she continued to look out into the night, not seeing the city, but seeing Shell as things had been years before.

"I’ll be right back, Brook. I have to go to the rest room. Don’t move. I’ll be back in a flash." Brook turned as she said that to see her disappear inside for the bathroom. Turning back to the cityscape Brook tried to put her feeling aside. She reminded herself of the heart ache she had endured five years earlier, the sense of abandonment, loneliness. It had all hurt so much and cut so deep, she must be crazy for standing here hopping for at least one last night together. Maybe she was hopping to hurt Shell as much as she had hurt her in the past. Maybe she was pinning her hopes on the dream that Shell had finally come to her senses, and was ready to start again. Lost in thought she did not hear Shell as she joined her again on the balcony.

"What are you thinking?" Shell asked as she came up behind Brook, and stood only inches away from her. Brook could feel her breath on the back of her neck. It was intoxicating.

"Oh, nothing, really, I am just appreciating the view." Brook replied as she turned to look at Shell. Stepping back, right into the railing, she let out a muffled gasp. "Oh my, Shell. I thought you were going to the bathroom for an entirely different reason." Brook said as she let her eyes wonder down Shell’s body, now scantily clothed in a sexy, black, lacy teddy. Over the teddy she wore a matching black house coat that fell open to reveal the alluring outfit under it.

"Well I know how you like lace and all." She said coyly. Her eyes had a different look to them now, seductive, and wanting. Brook knew that look well from all the years they had been together. Her blood coursed through her veins, as the sound of her own heart beat pounded in her ears.

"You look.....very nice." Brook said in a whisper, unable to muster the energy to speak any louder. In spite of all her attempts to resist, Brook found her eyes wondering over Shell’s body once again, then fixing on Shell’s pleading eyes. Shell took another step closer to Brook, as Brook tried to step back further forgetting that she was all ready pressed up against the railing of the balcony.

Brook’s mind raced as time seemed to stand still for a moment. "Was she willing to leave her husband of five years and try to make things work? After all they were soul mates." Brook thought to herself, as she let the possibilities revive the hope that once lived in her soul. "Is this just a one night stand kind of a thing?" She wondered as fear and doubt crept back into her mind.

By this time Shell was nearly pressed right up against her. Brook could smell that familiar and delicious sent of Shell’s delicate perfume. She drank it in, as she studied every line of Shell’s face. Her eyes glazed over and her mouth went dry. Every part of Brook’s body cried out to her to touch Shell, to hold her, to make love to her. "Maybe it would be worth it, just this one last time, to feel her naked body against her own." Brook’s mind was swimming now, caught between the tides of what might have been, and what could now be.

"You are so beautiful. You always were." Shell breathed out, her face only inches from Brook’s. Slowly she brought her hand to Brook’s cheek, and gently stroked her soft skin. Brook could feel all the questions melt away in an instant. Right then it did not matter what tomorrow would hold, only this moment existed, and she wanted more than anything to hold onto it.

As the fears and questions slipped from her mind Brook let herself feel every sensation of this one act. Raising her hand to Shell’s waiting cheek she lightly touched her skin, as a jolt of electricity shot through her body. Shell still had that way about her, and Brook felt helpless to resist her. "I have missed you so much." Brook heard the words escape her lips with out even realizing she was saying them. "I have dreamt of you each night for a lifetime it seems, and each time it is the same, I wake up and you are gone." She whispered as she continued to trace the lines of Shell’s face with her fingers.

"It will not be that way tonight." Shell said. "I promise." Shell leaned into Brook placing her lips on Brook’s as she deeply kissed her. Shell’s hands found their way around Brook’s body as if it had only been a day and a night since they last touched. Their lips, and tongues played happily as they devoured each other. Their eyes were locked shut letting their hands rediscover each others bodies.

Shell pulled away for a moment as she looked deep into Brook’s eyes. Letting her hand navigate the familiar path down her cheek, and resting on her breast. "You are my goddess, Brook. You always have been." Shell said as she locked eyes with Brook. Taking her hand she led Brook back into the room, and over to the king size bed.

"I do not care if this is only a one night stand." Brook said to herself as she let Shell led her through the room. "One more night with me will never be enough for her anyway." Brook thought. A surge of excitement pulsed though her body as she knew Shell would soon be hers once again.

Reaching the bed Shell stopped and turned to Brook. She slowly began to remove her clothes as she kissed and caressed her body. The lights were dimmed in the room now. Not so much that they could not see each other clearly, but not so bright that it could not be romantic. One by one Brook’s clothes made a pile on the floor behind her. She reveled in the fact that it was Shell who removed them this time. It was sexy, and seductive; it was familiar, and warm; it was a dream come true.

Brook lifted Shell’s lacy gown from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor behind her. There on her shoulder was the tattoo she had gotten all those years ago. It was two hearts interlocked, there were no words because none were needed and none sufficed to express the meaning of the symbol they portrayed. Brook slowly traced the tattoo with her finger, she could feel the tears building up inside her, and the memory of heart break filled her mind. Desperately she struggled to push these thoughts away, wanting so much to have this right then.

Shell took Brook’s hand as she put one knee onto the bed and began to climb into bed with her. Laying down Shell gently pulled Brook on top of her as she kissed her again. Shell’s warm skin felt so wonderful against hers, and her body burned with anticipation, yet it was so hard to push away the thoughts that insisted to make their way into her mind.

"'Come into my nest’, said the spider to the fly." Brook said as she gently stroked Shell’s cheek.

"Isn’t that my line?" Shell asked. "Haven’t I so masterfully designed this web for you, my goddess?"

"It seems you have." Brook responded as her heart sank. It was becoming clear to her now that this was merely a snare to catch her for the night, and she knew that one night would never be enough. "Were is your husband tonight, Shell?" Brook asked as she pulled away from her.

"That is not important, Brook. This night is about you and me, not him." She said.

"But you don’t belong to me any more, my sweet Shell." Brook said in a hushed voice now desperately trying to hold back the tears. "You are Mrs. Whitefeather now. You belong to him, you gave me up long ago." She added.

Sitting up beside her Shell gently touched her back as Brook tensed to her touch. "I have always been yours Brook, Daniel is just ........the father of my child. You are the one who will always have my heart." She insisted as she stroked her back.

"So are you leaving him then?" Brook asked. "Well....." Shell paused as she searched for the right thing to say. ".............you know my parents they would never put up with it if I were a lesbian." She tried to explain.

Standing up from the bed, and stepping away from Shell so she could not touch her Brook said, "I hate to have to break it to you, but you are a lesbian, and you can not have it both ways. At least not with me. I loved you once.......I still love you, but I am unwilling to have one more night of meaningless sex, and I am not willing to have my heart broken every time you go back to Daniel in the morning. I am not the other woman. I will not be for anyone, not even you." She said as the tears began to stream down her face. Brook gathered her clothes off the floor and began to dress again, wiping away the tears as she got ready to leave one last time.

"You don’t understand, sweetie, I love you, but it can’t be like you want it to be. The world is not the way you capture it on film. It is filled with hate and prejudice. You have to be realistic." Shell pleaded with her to stay.

"I am being realistic. Do you think I am just going to be your girl toy? Good for a fuck, and back to hubby in the morning?" Brook asked angrily. "I don’t even know who you are. And what does it say of what you must think of me to imagine that I would be your little whore?"

"It’s not like that at all." Shell pleaded. "There are a lot of people that are married and have a same sex partner. It is a way to be gay, but be accepted." She tried to explain the way her mind was working.

"How can you even begin to want to live that way. During the day you appear to be the perfect house wife, but by night you are the crusading lesbian?" Brook asked half mockingly. "And how about me? What do I do on holidays, and weekends when the work is done and all I want to do is be with my ‘life time lesbian companion’? You will be busy in your parallel life."

"It is not as bad as you make it out to be." Shell said, she had moved over to were Brook was standing and she reached out to touch her shoulder desperate to keep her there.

"No!" Brooks eyes were changed, stern, and red from crying. Her voice had dropped an octave or so as she now spoke. "I am proud of who I am. Not because I am gay, but because of everything. I am not defined by my sexuality, it is merely a part of me, and in that same regard I will not hide it like it is a dirty secret. You will live your life the way you want. I have no control over that, and that is the way it should be. But maybe in another twenty or thirty years, perhaps once your grandparents have passed, and maybe your parents as well, maybe then you will decide it is time for you to live your own life. I feel very sad for you, Shell, my sweet, beautiful goddess, but we all make choices every day about who we will be in one way or another, and you have made yours. I only hope you do not end up regretting it to much when the night comes." Brook said as she turned for the door unable to bear another moment of this conversation, or the thought of what lay ahead for her former lover. Slipping through the door she heard Shell try to call out to her, to plead for her to stay. As she walked down the hall the door opened behind her but Shell said nothing. Brook kept on walking, she knew to turn around meant that she might go back, and going back meant that she would likely stay, and staying meant that in the morning she would be alone again with one less night of her life to call her own. That was something she was not willing to give up, not another second of her life was going to be thrown away.

As she found her way to her car the tears began to stream down her face uncontrollably. Quickly she got into her car and drove away before Shell could find her way to stop her. Through her tears she some how made it back to Shanna’s house, all the while her heart was breaking as if she was loosing Shell all over again. It cut like a red hot knife through her heart, and she was not certain that she would survive it all again.

Being as quiet as she could she parked her car on the street and stole into the house. Not turning on any lights she collapsed into the sofa, grabbing a pillow she sobbed into it. The light turned on over head, and turning toward the door to Shanna’s room she caught a glimpse of her standing in the door way.

"Sweetie, are you all right?" Shanna asked. Brook was unable to answer her. "Come on to bed...." Shanna trailed off. Brook shook her head no, she just could not take the chance of sleeping with another woman that night, she knew she was far to upset to control her actions.

Shanna made her way through the darkness of the living room to find a place on the couch by Brook. "What is it, Brook?" Shanna asked as she gently brushed a lock of hair from Brook’s face who sat stone like, starring into space. The tracks of tears on her face were the only clue Shanna had to what Brook was feeling. "What has happened, my friend?" She asked insistently.

Finally Brook tried to speak, opening her mouth but to no avail. "Oh, my dear, it is going to be all right. Just tell me what happened and I will kick there ass." Shanna said trying to lighten Brook’s somber mood. Pleadingly Brook turned to Shanna, but when she opened her mouth again to talk the only thing that came out was a waterfall of tears as she fell into Shanna’s arms sobbing uncontrollably.

After some time the sobs subsided, and Brook was able to tell Shanna the whole story of the evening. Brook felt like a fool, pinning such high hopes and dreams on the person who had hurt her so deeply before. In spite of all her self deprecating words, Shanna only held her and comforted her as she insisted she was only following her heart, and anyone would have done the same thing in that circumstance. Still Brook felt like an ass as she recalled the way she had given no care at all that Shell was now married, her only concern at the time was for getting her back, even though it meant breaking up their, "happy home".

After hours of talking and crying Brook fell to sleep, exhausted, on the couch. Her heart and body were completely spent, and she was uncertain if her spirit would be able to go on another day.
___________________________________________________________________________

Over the next few weeks Shell tried to call Brook a few times, but Brook wanted nothing to do with her. She had been so lost for the five years between Shell leaving her and then finally trying to seduce her. After the fiasco at the hotel she did not even know what had happened to the woman she had fallen in love with all those years before. The question that remained in her head was always the same: "Was the Shell she knew just some kind of affectation, or did she change all that much in the five years of her marriage?" In the end it did not really matter. Every one has the propensity to change weather it be for the better , or for the worse. She knew that in the five years that had elapsed since they were together she herself had turned into a person she did not particularly care for. There had been so many women, married, single, or in committed relationships with other women. All at once in the moment at the hotel with Shell she had realized that she could no longer be that person. She wanted the same thing she had always wanted, but she had pushed the dream away after Shell left afraid of being hurt again. Brook now new in her heart that she wanted the fairy tail. She wanted the wife and partner that wanted only to be with her, and no one else, she wanted the family, and she wanted to be happy. "Was that all that much to ask?" She often wondered.

After the show had closed at the gallery, selling many of her pieces, Brook decided she wanted to move back to the Twin Cities. There was no demons left to haunt her there, at least none that could hurt her now that she faced Shell, and taken a long look at the person she had allowed herself to become, and the person she wanted to be again.

"So what do you think of me moving back here to Minnesota, Shanna?" She asked her old friend one morning as they sat having coffee at Shanna’s house. "I would of course keep my place in Florida, and go back often, but I think I want to come home again." She added as she watched for Shanna’s statement.

"That would be great having you back here for good, babe." Her friend replied as she smiled, an unfamiliar twinkle hiding behind blue eyes. Suddenly, as if bitten by the chill of a winters breeze, Brook saw something in her friend that she had never noticed before.

"My god, she is beautiful." Brook thought to herself as she slowly drank Shanna in. She had always thought her to be attractive, but now there was something more. Her milky Scandinavian skin catching the rays of the sun as they flooded through the window, her soft, hazel more intriguing then ever before, and her fit, athletic form resting casually only a few feet away. Brook felt her heart skip a beat as an overwhelming desire to reach out and pull her close to kiss her surged through her body.

"Are you all right, Brook?" Shanna asked as she looked questioningly at her. "You look....a little....lost in something." She added.

"No." Brook began, dropping her eyes to her coffee to try and conceal the desire that now burned in her eyes. "I am fine. Better then I have been in years." Her voice had changed a little. It was deeper, somehow more sensual.

"All right then. If you say so." Shanna replied still uncertain what was going on in Brook’s mind.

"Hey Shanna, would you like to out tonight?" She asked, unceremoniously.

"Sure. I’ll call up the old gang. We can have a little ‘glad you decided to stay’ part or something." She suggested.

Brook’s heart beat faster, almost out of control as she debated her response. She and Shanna had been friends since forever, and if she was wrong about this then everything between them could change in an instant. Lifting her head and meeting Shanna’s eyes she gathered all her strength, "No.....I mean....do you want to go out with me tonight. Just you an me." She wanted it all to come out before she lost her nerve, so she babbled on rapidly. "The two of us, for a nice quiet meal, at a classy restaurant." She paused waiting for anything from Shanna.

There was an awkward silence for what seemed to be a life time, and then Shanna replied in a low voice, "Oh, you mean...your asking me on a date?" Another few seconds of silence, and Brook felt her nerve ebbing away.

"Well, it’s no big deal you know. Just forget I asked." Brook paused for a heartbeat, but changed her mind, and recanted her last suggestion. "No, that is not what I mean. I don’t want you to forget I asked you, Shanna. I want to go out with you. But if you are uncomfortable with it, then just let me know." She finished.

"I would like that very much." Shanna replied with a slightly devious smile. "I would have probably asked you by now, but I did not want to be that girl you got over Shell with. It would not be like that would it?" She asked.

"There have been a string of girls from New York to California that I have gotten over Shell with. I am tired of it all. I don’t want any more meaningless flings with some starry eyed ‘groupie’. I hope I don’t frighten you with that revaluation. I have just wasted to much of my life on girls who don’t know what they want, or girls who just want to touch ‘the artist'." Brook continued on with her explanation as Shanna nodded her head. "You and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. I don't want to fuck that up, if you pardon the statement, but I think I am......or I could....." Brook paused not wanting to freak her friend out, but also not wanting to lie about how she was feeling. "Well, I would like a chance to see what might happen."

There was another pause as Shanna took everything in that Brook had told her. "I would like that too, Brook." She said lightly touching Brook’s hand that rested on the table between them. A surge of electricity shot through Brook’s body as Shanna touched her, and she smiled at the thought of truly falling in love again.
__________________________________________________________________________

"Dolsa, would you do me a favor before you fly back to Florida?" Brook asked as she helped remove the remaining pictures from the gallery that after noon.

"Anything for you my dear. Have you finally decided you want to see what it is like to take a wild ride with this Latino chick?" She asked sarcastically.

"You know I would snap you up if it weren’t for....what’s her name." Brook teased Dolsa as she scratched her head pretending to try and recall Dolsa’s girlfriends name. "But seriously. I would like it if you could deliver a package for me."
_________________________________________________________________________

Dolsa stood at the front door of the little two story house in White Bear Lake as she waited for someone to answer the door. It was only a few moments and a woman came to the door. "Yes may I help you?" The striking native American woman asked as she opened the door to Dolsa.

"Are you Shell Whitefeather?" She asked politely.

"Yes, I am. What can I do for you?" Shell asked again.

"I was asked to give you this." She replied holding up a large package wrapped in brown paper. "It is a gift from Brook." She stated. "I hope you enjoy it." Dolsa said, and turned to walk away.

Without a word Shell brought the package inside and tore off the paper. It was the portrait of a woman standing on a dock, face into the wind as a boat appeared in the distance. On the frame was a plaque that read, "Waiting for the Fairy". Inside there was also a note from Brook, it read:

My dearest Shell:

I hope for your sake that you truly have caught the boat you were searching for all these years. I will always cherish the time we had together, and wish for you all the happiness in the world.

Your friend, Brook

Dropping the letter to the floor Shell crumbled as the tears flowed uncontrollably.
__________________________________________________________________________

Knocking on Shanna’s door Brook asked, "Are you about ready?" Earlier that day Brook had moved her stuff into the guest room at Shanna’s house explaining to Shanna that she wanted to take things slowly, and if they were sleeping together then she knew she would be able to show no self control.

"I will be right out." The familiar voice came from behind the closed door. With in a few moments Shanna emerged dressed in a stunning black gown. It was a low cut, spaghetti strap dress that fell nicely to her knees. Slowly, and deliberately Brook let her eyes move over Shanna’s body. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized just how beautiful Shanna really was. She could almost feel Shanna’s eyes as they scanned her body. Brook wore knee length red dress that gathered at the shoulders and plunged down between her breasts, revealing just a little of her ample bosoms. "Are you sure you want to go out, or do you want to just see how fast we can get each others clothes off?" Shanna asked jokingly.

"That does sound like fun, but that would not be taking it very slow now would it?" She replied. They both giggled a little, each of them nervous about the night. "You look spectacular." Brook added.

"So do you." Shanna smiled as her heart began to beat faster.

"Well we better get going, our reservations are in twenty minuets." Brook pointed out. She offered Shanna her hand as she motioned for them to go. Taking Brook’s hand Shanna stepped close to her and kissed her lightly on the lips. Brook gasped slightly to her touch.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to..."

"No." Brook interrupted, "It was very nice." She added, and kissed Shanna more deeply that their first kiss. Her hands moved to Shanna’s hips as she pulled her close to her in a warm embrace, her eyes closing as she savored their first embrace. Shanna’s hands moved around Brook’s waist, and up her back as the kiss grew more passionate with every second. Shanna felt so warm, and tasted so delicious, falling in love was so intoxicating.

"The reservations?" Brook said as she felt Shanna’s hand taking hold of the zipper at the back of her dress.

"The restaurant will still be there tomorrow. But is this too fast?" Shanna asked, desperately hopping that the answer would be no.

"We’re already friends. I mean it has been like nearly thirty years, how long are we supposed to wait before this....?" Brook replied motioning to their actions. Shanna smiled and kissed Brook deeply again moving her toward the door of their bedroom.

If you have enjoyed Roki Storm's "And On We Go", then please be certain to e-mail her at  rokistorm[at]hotmail.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of Roki Storm's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.