Sapphic Voices Romance

Becoming

Conclusion

by R Brown
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Copyright © by R Brown, January 2011

This Story is a Work In Progress. The Authoress requests the reader's feedback.

No one woke up for hours so I had plenty of time to think about things. I knew I had to end things with Peter and I knew I wanted Emma but somehow it all seemed so wrong I knew I had been wrong last night and I couldn’t let that happen again. I also knew that Peter was going away for a week on a football tour and it was unfair to tell him now he would be up and gone within the hour. My phone went off ‘I WISH I HAD BEEN FALLING ASLEEP WITH YOU LAST NIGHT, MEET ME TODAY. EM XX’

My heart skipped a beat when I read the message but I knew that I couldn’t confuse the situation anymore ‘I CANT, SORRY’ I pushed send before I changed my mind and caved in ‘PLEASE I NEED TO KISS YOU AGAIN’ came the quick response. I shivered at the thought but quickly turned off my phone so that I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t let anything else happened between us.

I heard movement upstairs and a short while later Peter came running down the stairs ‘I have to go I haven’t even packed yet, sorry I’ll see you next week’ and with that he ran out the door which was a light relief. At least I didn’t have to worry about Peter for a week I went back upstairs and crawled into bed. I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I knew the door bell was ringing it was constant I dragged myself out of bed and went to open the door and there stood Emma. I looked like a mess was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of Peter’s Boxers I couldn’t believe she was at my door and I looked such a state. ‘Hi’ I managed. ‘Can I come in?’ she asked so I moved aside to let her in. ‘You didn’t answer my text so I just, I don’t know I wanted to see you and I knew that Sophie would be at work. I’m sorry to just come round but I just couldn’t stay away’ with that she stepped towards me and kissed me she took me off guard again and I couldn’t help but kiss her back. She kissed me deeply and with such want that I couldn’t push her away, we stumbled backwards and on to the stairs and she was on top of me pushing her body into mine I felt her hands on my skin touching every inch of me my body was weak with wanting. I pulled away ‘Not here’ and lead her upstairs and to my room. As I shut the door my nerves kicked in and I stammered the words ‘I’ve never’ I didn’t get the chance to finish what I was about to say before Emma’s lips were on mine again pushing me back into the door, I didn’t want her to stop but the rational part of my brain knew that what we were doing was wrong and that we shouldn’t be doing what we were. I felt her hand under my clothing as I held on to her tightly not wanting to let go, I felt myself push her back so that I could step apart from her. My breathing was quick and I couldn’t speak I looked at the confusion on her face and felt the want within me but knew that I didn’t want things to be this way.

‘We can do this’ The words came out of my mouth I’m not sure how but there they were hanging between us ‘its not right, I want this but not this way’ She just continued to look at me, I felt like she was looking inside of me her hand came to my lips and I was lost in those Blue eyes again. She took my hand and lead me to my bed and we lay down facing each she kissed me softly and wrapped her arms around me and in that single moment I knew that everything would work out I felt safe and wanted and this felt right. As I looked in her eyes I knew that she was feeling the same that she understood, ‘It’s ok we can wait, I don’t want to rush things with you’ I was so grateful that I didn’t have to explain myself that she would push me ‘Can we just sleep, I don’t want you to go but I can’t do this It’s not fair on Peter or Alice’ She pulled me closer ‘There is no me and Alice I ended things last night, it wasn’t fair on her not when I was feeling the way I do about you for some reason a smile spread across my face and I felt somewhat better about the situation, she had admitted to having feelings for me and they were strong enough for her to end her relationship so she must be serious. ‘I will assume that you haven’t done the same’ I looked at her a shook my head ‘I didn’t really get a chance, this is all so confusing for me, you seemed to have turned my world upside down. I know that I don’t want to be with Peter but I’m not sure that I’m ready for this’ I felt her fingers tilt my head towards her and her lips were on mine, I felt my body react to her and my hands reached out to her, her lips were soft against mine. Her tongue traced my bottom lip and I felt my lips part inviting her in the tip of her tongue touched mine. My head began to spin and I was lost in her, my senses were filled with the smell and taste of her I felt a moan escape me I hadn’t felt this way before I wanted more of her my body seemed to move on its own, react on its own, my heart was pounding so loud I was sure she must have been able to hear it. I felt her weight shift and she was on top of me, her lips never left mine I felt her leg slip between mine and her thigh pressed against me I could feel how wet I was and that slight amount of pressure pushed me over the edge I felt as if I was falling off a cliff I clung to her as if my life depended on it my body had never reacted to anyone in this way I had never felt this type of need and desire before. I wanted to feel her skin touching mine I wanted to feel all of her, in that second she was gone and laying next to me on the bed, my body suddenly felt cold and empty from the vacancy that she had left in moving from me. My breathing was ragged and my skin flushed. I didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure that I could say anything. Her hand took mine ‘I’m sure we will be just fine’ I looked at her and it was clear that she had proved her point. I lay there watching her and felt happy that she was with me and I knew that I didn’t want her to leave me.

The next thing I knew I was slowly waking and could feel arms wrapped around me and a warm body pressed into my back, as I turned I came face to face with Emma her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at me. ‘Things will be ok’ she looked into my eyes as a tear slowly escaped I was happy but scared at the same time and I knew there were things that needed to be sorted out. ‘Maybe we should just spend some time together and see how we really feel, I know I’m attracted to you but being with someone and texting them and getting on are two very different things’ I simply nodded. Things from then on did seem to be simple we spent the next week doing things to get to know one another the sexual tension between us was immense but we limited ourselves to a few kisses the connection between us grew and I knew that I was making the right decision. I wanted to know everything about her I couldn’t get enough the more I knew the more we found we had in common, at times there was guilt and at times it was hard to lie to my friends and I was sure that they could see through my deception but I wanted Peter to know first I knew deep down that we shouldn’t be doing any of what we we’re but I was drawn to Emma in a way I couldn’t explain, it felt as if I had found something that had been missing for as long as I could remember.

And that was how I came to be having the most uncomfortable conversation of my life I didn’t want to hurt Peter but I had to be honest with myself and I knew that no matter what I said to him he would never understand. In that difficult moment when the words finally came out of my mouth I somehow felt free I knew that there was no turning back I knew that I had hurt Peter beyond repair and it hurt me. People may say why? You got want you wanted but I never set out to hurt Peter and I never set out to have feelings for another women in truth that was the last thing I wanted, I had always just wanted to fit in to be ‘normal’ but I guess that I had to settle with just being me. As I watched him storm out of my house the feeling of relief that washed over me ensured that I knew I had done the right thing. The flowers that Peter had brought for me lay on the kitchen table a gift for me on his return from his trip the guilt consumed me. I held my phone in my hand and looked at the message that Emma had sent me ‘THINGS WILL BE OK, I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU. YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART’

The week that had past had been full of so much happiness I felt comfortable in Emma’s company I didn’t feel any pressure and most importantly I wanted her I knew that it would be hard and that we had a lot of bridges to cross and that it was going to be hard for me to tell people but right now all I wanted was to be with her to tell that I had fallen for her and that she too had stolen my heart, too and I hoped that she would be there with me though the hard times to come.

I jumped in my car and drove to her flat my hands didn’t stop shaking the whole way there I knew that I didn’t want to limit myself to just kissing anymore. I made my way up the stairs in her building and knocked on her door I could hear music playing through the door but I couldn’t work out what the song was.

When the door opened Emma was standing there again my breath caught in my throat again she looked so beautiful although she was dressed simply I couldn’t take my eyes from her. I stepped into the living room area and the music surrounded me with its soft tones throughout the flat and candles were laid out around the living room. ‘How did you know I would come here?’ I was so taken by surprise by it all no one had ever done anything like this for me ‘I didn’t, but I hoped you would, I would have sat and waited for you all day’ I thought I noticed a slight blush cheep up her neck at that admission.

Now that I was here standing with her I didn’t know what to do with myself, looking around and seeing all that she had done for me I wished that I had made more of a effort with my clothing my jeans and t shirt didn’t really seem to cut it now but I had been in such a rush to get to her. She must have sensed my hesitates ‘We don’t have to rush, it’s not about that with you, I want all of you. Not just that’ she reached out her hand and it brushed up and down my forearm in a reassuring motion, I felt my body shudder and a sigh escape my lips, I closed my eyes for a brief second. In one movement I stepped towards her and my lips found hers, the feeling was intoxicating as her lips softly touched mine, Emma’s arms wound themselves around my waist I felt myself being pulled closer to her and my hand found its way to her check with my finger tips resting there. My head was swimming somehow this kiss felt different to all the others that we had shared and I found myself needing more of her as our kiss deepen I felt her tongue trace the outline of my lower lip and then part for her, her tongue was now searching the inside of my mouth and I felt as though I would float away had she had not been holding me down. I was both shocked and embarrassed to hear a moan escape me but this seemed to push Emma on her arms became tighter around me and if possible she pulled me even closer to her, my hands began to wonder over her clothed body and every item of clothing now seemed to me to be a barrier which needed removing. My hands found the skin of Emma’s waist and I heard a Sharpe in take of breath as my fingers made contact with her skin. The contact we shared was no longer enough I wanted to feel more, it seemed that Emma sensed this too as we both pulled away are breathing short a ragged, Emma took my hand and led me into another room. Now this may sound silly bearing in mind how sure I had been of what we were doing only a few seconds ago but my heart began to race being in Emma’s bedroom made me feel nervous I had never been the most sexual of people I was worried that I wouldn’t get any of this right.

I sat on the edge of the bed and watched Emma remove her top her breast were full but seemed to me, in my very limited experience to be just the right size. As she stepped towards me I felt the blood rush through my ears and was sure she could hear the pounding of my heart. Emma stepped between my thighs and lifted my t shirt over my head, her hand then lifted my face towards her and her lips were on mine again, her body pushed me back on to the bed and at that moment I felt her skin touch mine, the softness of her skin was a revelation I run my fingers along her side and felt her shiver at the contact. Her lips were more forceful this time there was a need that had not been there before. As her lips left mine I wanted to protest but was stopped by the feeling of her mouth over my nipple through the fabric of my bra, my back arched towards her pushing my breast further into her mouth while her hand worked my other nipple I my nipples were so hard they began to ache I could hear how fast my breathing was and was aging taken by surprise by the reaction my body was having and the sounds that kept escaping my mouth. I found my hands in Emma’s hair pulling her closer to me wanting all that I could have of her, her mouth was gone and my bra was removed before I had a chance to process what was happening, her mouth was on me again but this time kissing my body while her hand toyed with my nipple. I felt her lips on my neck, sucking my ear and when her thigh came into contact with me I felt I was going to explode as she rubbed me through the fabric of my jeans I could feel how wet I was I could feel the reaction that her touch provoked in my body. My hands reached out to her and my hands fumbled with the clasp of her bra, I wanted more of her and when her breasts came into contact with mine I no longer cared about the noises I was making, Emma’s lips slowly travelled down my body and I felt her move the last of my clothing I again began to feel embarrassed not only because I was now naked but I had never had that much confidence in my form, I felt Emma’s eyes all over me were her eyes travelled it was as if light finger tips were touching me. As her head bent down to me I felt myself take in a shape intake of breath as her lips a teeth brushed my thighs followed by her tongue. Light fingertips moved my legs apart and I felt then trace light movements around my core, I couldn’t keep still my body was moving with a mind of its own it was too much I needed more. When her lips met mine I couldn’t hold back the deep moan as her tongue worked the outside of my lips slowly separating them till she found my clit. A full stroke with her tongue and my mind was lost I felt my body flood and my fingers held the on for dear life her tongue continued to work me and I could feel my body trashing. There was no slow build up inside of me it seemed to take no time at all as if my body had been waiting for this release. I felt my body arch and my hands pull Emma into me as my orgasm took over me my body began to tremble as I held my breath my release came as if it had been ripped from within me, my body was shaking as Emma trailed light kissed over my skin and held me as my breathing settled.

We lay that way for some time with Emma’s fingertips tracing light patterns on my skin, it was a long time before we spoke. But when we did the conversation lasted well into the night.

I did see Peter again but we could never remain friends as I had hoped. It was hard to admit to people my feelings for Emma and for many months we kept things to ourselves not wanting what we felt for each other to be tainted by others. I was surprised by the support I received there were some that couldn’t accept me and I lost a few friends but I remained happy knowing that I had Emma’s love and I was finally being honest about my feelings. Emma and I stayed together for many years but as with many relationships we grew apart, I can never thank her enough for that first time or for all the things she taught me I know that that she will always be a part of me.

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