Sapphic Voices Romance

The Bride In Pearls And Blood

Conclusion

Catalina opened her dark eyes slowly, squinting at the golden light that showered the room she was in. There were labeled bottles in the table beside her bed, and a plastic container with the serum that slowly dripped into her veins as she slept. She didn't immediately realize where she was, but the pristine smell of sterilized plastic and medicine soon gave her some idea.

"..Where am I?"

She felt on her neck, searching for her mother's pearl necklace, but it was missing. Soon after, she realized her dress was also gone when her movements triggered the soft crinkling of her hospital gown. There was a large needle on her wrist, and bandages around her midriff. She placed her hand on it carefully, expecting painful pangs from her maimed diaphragm upon her inhale, but she felt nothing. Pressing her fingers into the area caused no pain either, and she surmised she must have been shot numb with anesthesia. Following her observations, she looked beside her to watch the setting sun linger halfway above the lush, green canopies, relishing the warmth of the fading light that bathed her. She wondered how long it had been since she had stabbed herself. It couldn't have been a dream that she had spent hours praying, in the middle of a church. She could still remember the scent of the roses mixing with that of her own blood.

"A hospital.. How did I get here?.. Could the father have brought me?.. He's probably let my parents know.. Damn it.."

Her soliloquy was cut short when the door to her room opened. She was surprised to see Damiane walk in. The woman smiled at her softly after adjusting her glasses. Catalina couldn't bring herself to speak, and Damiane said nothing either. It was as if she were waiting for her just as she sat beside her, handing her the bouquet of roses.The girl took them in, all the while looking back at her lover with longing.

"Hi there.."

"What are you doing here?"

"Dropping by.. They've finally allowed me to see you.. You look a lot better.."

".. How did you find me?.. I was at the church.. My parents were having me marry the next day.."

"Hey.. Don't kill yourself.. You need rest."

"No.. Please, tell me.. I thought I was never going to see you again."

Damiane took her hand and kissed it softly before answering her. Her deep green eyes twinkled in the red-gold light.

".. Sunday.. You had told me you would return by nightfall, but there was something that just didn't feel right.. It was becoming later and later, so I went to your place. Your parents were there, and so was your fiancé, and from there on, it just got ugly. Your mother became hysterical, and needless to say.. Your father wasn't too happy about my presence either.."

"..I hope they didn't do anything to you.."

"No.. But, they wouldn't tell me where you were.. I searched all over the house, but they.. Well, your father was in my way.."

"Did he tell you where I was?.."

"Of course not.. I had to force it out of him.. He's been in this hospital as well. All of them have. They came in Sunday night, after I brought you here.."

Catalina looked down at the roses in her lap. Some unwelcome memories of the past few days seeped into her mind while she observed the delicate plant, and she squeezed Damiane's hand with gentle affection, wishing her presence would chase them away.

"..I wonder why they've come.. It would be ironic to find out that they care about how I'm doing after all they put me through.."

"You've got to be the craziest girl I've ever met pulling antics like that.."

"No..You don't understand.. Anyone would lose their mind, even if temporarily in that situation.."

"I can imagine.. The fact that this guy was present is a problem in itself..

".. You saw him, didn't you?.."

"Yes, I did.. You didn't tell me he was in the country.."

"I didn't know it. He arrived from Peru the same day.. Daddy brought him over to get the ceremony over with as soon as he found me, and I.. I just happened to return then, of all possible times.."

"..I see.."

"..I think.. I shouldn't have gone back at all.. It was a waste of my time.. I spoke to mother first, and I told her I wanted to restore the peace, but once I told her I was involved with you, she just went crazy.. Daddy arrived shortly after with this guy.. Mother told him everything and after a short exchange of words, I was getting slapped all over again.. Felicio stopped him in the middle of it to tell him that it was best to marry us as soon as possible.. And well.. Daddy locked me in my room after foiling my attempt at getting out of there.."

The sunlight combined with the memories to make Catalina's eyes water a little, but she fought back the tears, remembering the hours she had spent locked in her room that day. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore, especially not over her family's. She could discern the hatred settling in Damiane's eyes even though her overall expression had changed little.

"..Mother came in hours later, telling me to get ready. Daddy and Felicio were out getting me the gown , and they had arranged everything with the father of the church to have me married the next day in the afternoon.. Mother had me ready in about an hour, and afterward, they dropped me off there.. I think the rest is pretty much.. Self explanatory.."

"..Why a new dress?.."

"..I destroyed the one before that, that night I escaped to your place.. Father had locked me in my room, and I tore it to shreds.. Used it to climb out of my bedroom window.."

"Heh.. You really are crazy.."

"Yes, well.. I'd rather not see any of them again... Please.. Get me out of here as soon as you can Damiane.. They're bound to put me through the same predicament again when they see me.."

Damiane smiled at her, her dimples casting shadows on her elegant face. Catalina felt a little mystified just looking into her eyes, perhaps because of their deep color. It brought her memories of their first night together, that had only been around a week ago, but it already seemed so far away. She had gotten lost in them while Damiane had let her be. She still hadn't forgotten that glance that had both dominance and surrender.

"..The way you tell me that.. It's as if you came to think for a moment that I was leaving you behind.."

"I'm sorry.. All this has me feeling a little surreal still, as if none of it is really happening.. At the church.. It was more the desperation of not being able to stay with you than the marriage itself that lead me to all this.."

" It's very much real.. I would never leave you. As soon as you're well enough to move, we're out of here. Your doctors just told me before I came in that you'll be healthy enough to leave the premises in a bit over a month.."

"I'm glad.. I want to set this all behind me and just look forward to my life with you.."

......................................................................................................

Though her lashes felt heavy, Catalina struggled to remain awake. A minute earlier, she could have sworn it was her father's voice she had heard. She wasn't wrong. Moments later, he stepped into her room silently, as did Felicio. Her drowsiness seemed to subside and vanish as if by magic upon setting eyes on both men. Observing her visitors carefully, she felt herself growing infuriated at their presence while she gradually recollected on the events past. Felicio remained distant, leaning against the door and the look on her father's face would have been intimidating, had it not been for the sunglasses he was wearing. Catalina wondered why he was wearing them, because it wasn't a habit of his, but she said nothing. His icy voice was the first to break the silence.

"Looks like you're going to pull through.."

"What are the two of you doing here?.."

"We came to see you, of course. Why else would we be here?.."

She shot a dirty look at Felicio, repulsed by merely the sound of his voice. She hadn't heard him speak since that night, and she preferred to keep it that way. His presence alone was enough of a bother. She didn't want to think she'd have to exchange words with him during this visit. She sat up in her bed, blessing her medicines for numbing her to all pain.

"Isn't this ironic. You of all people Felicio, expressing concern? After what you and my father did to me?"

"Catalina--

"Shut your mouth.. I don't want to hear anything from you. What are you doing here father? I find it hard to believe that you care too."

"If I were you, I'd mind my manners Catalina.. Don't forget who you're addressing.."

"I know quite well who I'm addressing.A rogue would deserve more respect."

The aged man sighed with clear irritation and came closer. Catalina wondered if he would react in the same savage manner as before, but he didn't. He simply took a seat before her, clasping his hands together.

"..I didn't come here for arguments. I'm glad you're getting better, but I want to know why. Why attempt against your own life? Don't you know it is a sin?.."

"Yes I do. But I don't need your advice or your preaching on that matter. Whatever God plans to put me through to atone for it, I will gladly endure."

"Stupid girl. Is the evil in you so strong?.. You've put me to shame."

"If you're so ashamed, kindly leave me be. Do you think what you did to me was so harmless? Father, I returned to our home to tell you the truth and to ask of you that you accept my choices. Ultimately, I wanted you and I to be as close as we were before I was to be married. What did you do? You bring this man here to have things done your way, you refuse to acknowledge that I love a woman, and what's worse, you arrange everything against my will so I'll be wed to that coward and then forsaken to Peru where I can no longer escape the reaches of your authority. Do you expect me to have respect for you? You sit there and hide behind my faith to justify your selfishness, and you expect me to respect you?"

"Catalina, you cannot be with this woman. What can I do to make you understand that?!"

"Nothing. So give it up. It's because I love her that I'm in this hospital. I'd sooner choose death than to be with anyone but her."

Growing visibly angry, the man took off his sunglasses, then glanced at Catalina. She observed the blue-violet patches he had on both eyes indifferently, recalling Damiane's words when she had told her that she had to force him to confess her whereabouts. She realized her father was looking for sympathy, but all she felt inside was this strange combination of satisfaction and guilt. Satisfaction because half of her felt like her father deserved it, and guilt because the other half was still compelled by her great respect for him.

"Do you see the kind of monster you're involved with?.. How can you hold on so tightly to someone who would do this to your family?! Catalina, you're not an inept. You know quite well what the bible says about homosexuality and--

"Instead of always preaching to me about what the bible says, maybe you should acknowledge the fact that this is the way God made me..''

"What are you saying?! God may love you, but he hates your sin! You think you can form a family with that woman?! You think you can let it be like it doesn't go against our faith?!"

Catalina took a deep breath, feeling both bitter and disappointed. Her father was doing the same thing all over again. She just looked away towards the canopies outside her window and thought back on a poem she once wrote about a romance between the sun and the moon. The moon had once lied in darkness until the sun gave her a little warmth, and since then, all it could do was glow in the sky longingly, sending her love back to the sun. Had it not been the same way with her and Damiane? Hadn't she been the one to suffer helplessly until Damiane opened her eyes? It couldn't be that the Lord she blindly believed in would demand that she give that up. Not what she most loved and valued in all her life.

''Father, is there something wrong with love? I'd be more willing to listen to you if what I felt for Damiane were meaningless lust, but heaven knows that isn't the case here.."

''Catalina, for the heaven's sake, quit being such a fool! God's opposition couldn't be spelled out any clearer!"

".. I remember one of the lines of the bible that plainly states that whomsoever believes in God with all their heart, will never be lost.. Not once has my love for him faded.. What then does it matter if I love her, if not once have I ever given him up?.."

"You--

Her father's words were cut off as Felicio took a few steps forward, pushed by the door opening behind him. Everyone's attention turned to Damiane after she came in silently. She stood before them, looking down at Felicio for a moment with a stare that could have frozen anyone in place. Catalina felt her mood enlighten a bit, and seeing her lover stand before Felicio might have even gotten a small grin onto her face. She had always loved how exuberantly tall Damiane was, and she did even more now, because Felicio looked as though he was this insignificant worm about to be crushed. Her thoughts were thrown off by the silence that seemed to grow deafening, a silence that was broken easily by Damiane's silent voice.

"Who let you people in here?.."

Catalina's father was the first to step up. He seemed bent on voicing a newfound frustration.

"I came to see my daughter.."

"Did you really? She has to try and commit suicide before you show her some regard old man?.."

"Shut up.. You've corrupted her.. Catalina was never like this. You've influenced her to stray from everything that is good. Everything that we've taught her."

"Yes, yes.. I'm sure educating your children to be your docile little puppets seems pretty right to you, but do give up that bullshit. She's with me because she chose to. For once in her life, she made a decision in terms of what she wanted that didn't include you. Get used to it. You've had plenty of fun making all of her choices for a long while."

Damiane walked over to stand beside Catalina. Felicio then spoke up and addressed her, making Catalina wonder what he had to say that mattered any.

"You the so called Damiane aren't you.."

"None other."

"What makes you think you're going to get away with all this? Catalina is supposed to marry me. I'll give her anything she will ever need."

"Have you been standing there like an idiot all this time, or did you just not hear me when I said that she isn't anyone's puppet anymore?"

"She was promised to me! You think you can offer her anything?! I've waited years to have her by my side! I've worked my way through too much for the sole purpose of earning her father's respect, and now that we were finally going to be married, you interfere! I've known Catalina's father for ages, and he has given me the right to be her husband! Who the hell do you think you are, ruining something that has been arranged for so long?!"

Catalina was a bit surprised by the decency of Felicio's English, though that didn't reduce the rage she felt just listening to his words. She was about to snap at him a spiteful reply, but Damiane's reaction hushed her. The woman took slow but heavy steps until she was standing right before him once more. Her voice came off as a bellow, and the girl could have sworn her reason for keeping quiet was the fact that they were in a hospital. Damiane's knuckles were rosy, and she seemed to be crushing something in her hands because her fists were so tightly clenched.

"What makes you think all your 'hard work' means anything? Who gives a damn how long you've known her father? That fool has always treated her like an object. All this time, he's been making decisions about her life that were never his to make! He may have arranged her marriage, chosen you to be her husband, but she never wanted any part of it. He knew of her dissent, yet he never acknowledged anything because he didn't give a damn!"

"These are things that have nothing to do with you! This is what every woman in our land has to live with! All of us have a role in life, and Catalina's life is to be spent beside me! Quit interfering with our ways! You know nothing about her!"

"Felicio, what do you know about her?! What this imbecile has told you?! That she's religious?! That she'll do everything around the house?! That she'll be a great wife to you?! You ever stop to think about what her interests are?! All this time, Catalina has been closer to me than she has been with all of you and I've only known her for months! Why is it that I'm the one she chose to approach? The one she preferred to talk to and confide in?! It wasn't because I forced her, idiot! None of you ever had a meaningful view of her. She's just a puppet! Daddy's little trophy that he's going to give away to uphold his reputation!"

"I love her!"

"If you loved her, you wouldn't have helped her father force her into all this!"

A second later an exasperated nurse walked into the room, and a security guard followed her. Catalina felt relieved to see the authority figures there because Felicio's presence was starting to make her feel ill. The nurse's reproach was soon to follow.

"What is happening here?! This is a hospital! You people are upsetting our other patients!"

It occurred to Catalina that for someone who was so interested in maintaining the silence, the nurse certainly was vociferous. Damiane dug her hands in her pockets before addressing the nurse, and she spoke up in a much calmer voice, but her body still exuded vexation.

"Who gave these men permission to enter?"

"You're ms.Philips?"

"That's right. I'd like to know why these people are here when this woman is supposed to be resting."

The nurse took on an apologetic tone, gesturing the uniformed man behind her to escort the other two out.

"I apologize ma'am. I only recently arrived and the nurse in charge of the previous shift is new to the hospital."

"What the devil are you doing?! You're going to keep me from seeing her?!"

Catalina's father's shouts only received Damiane's cold glance. The last time Catalina had seen her that angry was when her father had beaten her the first time, and even so, she seemed so much more enraged with the man this time around. The guard took both men by the arm while Catalina watched. Her father gave her one last look that had too great a combination of anger and disgust. He snatched himself away from the guard's grip to blurt out spiteful last words to his daughter.

"Catalina.. From this day on, you are dead to me.."

"Come on, sir. Let's go."

......................................................................................................

The sky seemed like a dark, star littered sheet that loomed over Catalina's half closed eyes. She could hardly keep her head still as she rested on Damiane's shoulder. The waiting area close to gates 3-7 at JFK airport was very quiet despite the facts that almost all seats were occupied. One could discern however that the reason for this was the early hours of the morning, for it was probably not a minute past 4 am. Catalina's mind was stocked full of memories of the past few days because they had been both hectic and romantic. She managed to observe a plane take off into the darkness, and for a moment she thought she saw her mother standing before her as she recalled the past week when she had returned to her home for the sole purpose of getting back her certificate. Shortly before her release from the hospital, she had mentioned to Damiane her desire to continue where she had left off academically, and the prospect of studying at the University of Madrid was far too exciting an idea for her to leave without the document. It had meant another encounter with her family again, though her mother was the only one she saw the day of that laconic visit. The woman was not hesitant to let her know that her father was too disgusted of her to even come near, so she abandoned the place silently, trying to set aside all her memories of her family and her childhood. The few nights after that, she had spent with Damiane in her apartment, which had been emptied of everything except the oversized pillow they slept in and the luggage that laid around with new tickets on each handle. Even though their voices would now echo through it, the place was still cozy enough to let them both indulge themselves in their own bodies, and even if the apartment no longer was, neither of them cared. In fact, their lust was likely the greater reason behind the exhaustion both of them felt while they waited for their flight. Maybe half an hour later, Catalina looked up after Damiane patted her gently on the cheek. Snapping to full awareness, she heard a woman over the P.A. summoning the passengers of flight A2035 to gate 4. A line was already starting to form at the entrance, and Catalina grabbed Damiane's hand as the woman stood up, adjusting the strap of her bag across her chest before leading them both toward the gate.

......................................................................................................

Damiane sat still watching the carpet of cirrus clouds from her window. The clear sky was glowing in golds and pinks on the horizon as the sun began to rise, and Catalina thought the connection between her life and the dawn she was seeing was much too symbolic. She closed her eyes for a moment to relish Damiane's perfume, that scent she couldn't get enough of. Even with her lover sitting right beside her, it wouldn't lose its alluring touch. Catalina's mind wondered further, recalling what Damiane had told her about her family. It seemed to her that managing a company was a great task for her lover, although days before, the woman had told her that her father chose her because her other 3 siblings were just slackers and they wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility. The truth was that Damiane's father had grown tired in his old age, and his promising enterprise now had to be managed by someone else. The old man, according to Damiane, wasn't very keen on his associates, so she had been the one given the job. Catalina thought far as skills went, there wasn't anyone more suited for the job really, since the company specialized in manufacturing electronic devices, but still she worried a little about the pressures involved. After all, Damiane was only 24. At the same time, she couldn't help but believe in her, because Damiane seemed so capable, and there had been many times before that she had watched her keep her cool in demanding situations. The girl threw her lover a faithful smile that summoned her attention.

"What's so funny babe? You got a joke to share with me?"

"No.. I'm just glad. At how everything's turned out."

"I'm glad too."

"You know.. I still find it a bit hard to believe you were born in Spain.. Your name doesn't sound anything but American.."

Damiane laughed amused. Catalina could tell that she was about to start bragging a little about herself, and she smiled back at her, because she had grown to love the idiosyncrasy.

"Well.. I suppose you can accuse me of being unpatriotic. I may have been born in Spain, but none of the 4 languages I know is Spanish. 'Course, now I'm going to have to add it to my list."

"You're such a showoff.."

"Heh.. I'm just messing with you.. Though, in reality, I guess I'm only Spanish far as nationality goes. My ancestors have all been American.."

"I see.. Well, I would have just guessed your folks would have at least given you a Spanish name since you were born there.."

"Oh that. Hm, I know it sounds weird you know, but it was my mother's crazy idea of giving me a boy's name because she expected to have a fourth son.."

"Ooh! Well, that explains a bit. You'd think your mother would have had enough testosterone in the family with your three brothers already.."

"Nah. My old lady loves them. Even now she's always going crazy about my nephews. Heck, I think she never thought of me any differently you know. Even though I was the only girl and the youngest, I was never pampered. It may sound funny but mom was the one to always push me to get together with my brothers in their games and such."

"I think that's a good thing you know.. It looks like she didn't want to separate you guys because of your gender.. It's a way to hold a family together."

Damiane replied with a playful smile and a second later the sunlight was bathing Catalina's face. The young woman squinted at this and Damiane tied her arm around her pulling her into a kind embrace.

"See that? I think even that blinding ball of flatulence is happy for you.. Things are going to be very different from now on. I'm going to make you the happiest woman on this Earth.."

"I don't have any doubt about it.. I can't be anything but the happiest woman, so long as I'm with you Damiane."

The Bride In Pearls And Blood - Conclusion

If you have enjoyed Foreigner's "The Bride In Pearls And Blood - Conclusion", then please be certain to e-mail at  SeekersRhapsody[at]yahoo.com  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of Foreigner's Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.