Sapphic Voices Romance

I Always Come Back

I carefully push away your arm from my bare stomach and stand up from the bed. You move and say something and I stop. I think you woke up, but you only turn over to the other side and continue your peaceful sleep.

As fast as I can I put on my underwear, my jeans and a shirt. I pick up my purse from the floor and walk up to the door. I know, you wanted me to stay for breakfast. You were afraid that in the morning I would go away, like I always do, without saying good-bye and without a note with my new telephone number. And I promised you that I'll stay, that we'll see each other again in the morning and that of course I'll give you my new number. I lied. I lied, because I didn't want to hurt you.

I know, that when you wake up you won't find me beside you and that would make you feel bad. Though you're used to that. I wonder why do you still believe me when I say that I will change? Why do you still believe me when I say that I'll stay for breakfast, though I always leave before you wake up. Any other women wouldn't be so patient with me, but you are. You always welcome me with open arms, with a smile and a kiss. Is it love? Well, I guess so.

You're waiting for the day when I finally grow up. When all my love stories would come to an end and I would stay with you. When I finally would take my private life seriously. When I finally fall in love. You know, I'm waiting for this day, too. But nothing changes. I think I can't love...

I stop in front of the door and look at you for the last time till I leave. Oh god, you're so beautiful! You're lying there on the bed with your hands under the pillow. And your curly hair is spread out all over the pillow. You're kind of smiling, and through the window the sunlight falls down on your face. You're like a little angel. My angel. I wonder what are you dreaming about? I guess about me.

I know, you never told me that you love me, but probably you tried to. You don't have to tell me that. I already know. You love me, that's why you never send me home when I appear in the middle of the night on your front door. That's why you always listen silently to my never ending woman-stories. That's why you hold me tight when I cry. That's why you're waiting for a response to your feelings. You're my only close friend and you know that. That's why you forgive me when I don't call for a week or two. That's why you worry about me. And I know that I don't deserve you. And I thank you for everything. You don't even know how grateful I am that I have you.

I quietly go out the door into the corridor. I put on my shoes and for a couple of seconds, I think if I should write you a little note with my telephone number on it. I look into a mirror - it's hanging here in the corridor. On the side of the mirror sticks an old picture. It's the only one where you and me are together. I do even remember where it was taken - on your 17th birthday. You were so happy this day. And you had the reasons for it: your birthday, an successful school ending, my return from England...Yeah, maybe it was more important to you than anything else, because I was near you again.

I look at this picture for about a minute, but then I turn around and go out the front door. I won't leave you a note. And you don't have to know my telephone number, because when you call me you might hear on the other side one of my lovers. You don't need that. And you know that I'll be back soon, anyway. I always come back...

The End

If you have enjoyed Kattie's "I Always Come Back", then please be certain to e-mail her at  Katharina.Savlukov[at]gmx.de  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of Kattie's Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.