Sapphic Voices Romance

Entering The Rainbow

Eve looked at the cruise liner towering above her with not a little trepidation.. It wasn’t that she was a nervous sea traveller, it was the thought that here, in the last stage of their holiday, was her final opportunity to speak to Daniel. She’d put it off time and time again -- on the beautiful cruise which brought them here to South Africa, on the Safari which she’d loved with a passion, on the flight to and from Victoria Falls and their magical four-day stay there. She’d actually opened her mouth three times to tell him but the words wouldn’t come. Of course it was her choice whether to tell him or not but, having made the decision to do so, it seemed cowardly to back out now. Eve did have faith that Daniel would eventually accept, if not understand, her disclosure but she was scared, oh so scared, of his initial reaction.


Eve was a courageous person but her biggest fears in life were arguments and confrontations, the emotional confrontations where personal and hurtful things are said and often regretted. Personally, she’d always tried to pause before speaking in anger, so as not to hurt others but this wasn’t always the case in reverse. This subject was too important and significant in her life, however and she knew it was essential to tell Daniel and risk the probable adverse reaction.


Eve glanced across at Daniel, patiently waiting for their turn to board the liner and smiled fondly. He’d been a good son to her, a good man all round in fact; a little unimaginative, not very daring perhaps but a good, solid man and she felt very proud of him. At 33 years of age he was making his way up the ladder in the legal world. He was a successful, though rather prosaic, solicitor. He’d never married but had come close a couple of times. His career was his life but he still took time out to visit her three times a week for dinner. Yes, he was a good son but where was the deviltry, impetuosity and fire which she knew was within herself? Had he quashed and denied them just as she’d done all those many years? She’d tried to give him an upbringing which would allow all facets of his personality to emerge but .... maybe it wasn’t that he was trying to subdue anything, maybe her own fire just wasn’t part of his make-up. She sighed.


Daniel heard the sigh and looked across at her, his short, dark hair ruffled by the warm breeze.

"It shouldn’t be too long now, Mum. Our last leg -- a ten day cruise and then we’re back home in Australia. It’s been fun hasn’t it." Her face lit up -- Yes, it had been fun, spending so much time with Daniel, seeing so many beautiful sights. She’d never forget the majesty of Victoria Falls, the sheer force of the water as it plunged down the rocky face, the spray cascading down onto the colourful umbrellas which were perpetually on hire. She hadn’t wanted one as she’d needed to feel and taste the water on her hair and face. She’d lifted her eyes to the heavens and allowed the soft spray to cool her down in the hot Zimbabwean sun. Daniel, of course, had hired an umbrella and was concerned that she’d catch cold. Eve laughed softly at the recollection - she would’ve risked more than a cold for that stirring experience.


As they moved slowly towards the entrance of the ship, Eve remembered the feelings she’d experienced as they’d stood in the minibus while driving in the safari park. The warm wind ruffling her greying short hair, the sounds of the wildlife and the beautiful deer, giraffe, zebras and the endangered white rhino. Later, they’d entered the large, secure lion and cheetah sanctuary and had parked within metres of those beautiful beasts. The huge, male lions with their serene, gentle-looking faces: the lionesses with cubs close by, watching with wary eyes : the cheetahs with the white fur around their mouths stained red with the blood of their last feed. Eve experienced, yet again, the excitement and emotions of that time. The last part of the safari had been the visit to the nursery and Eve’s lips twitched at the memory of the six-month old lion cubs which cavorted around, showing off as they rolled over, insisting that someone -- anyone, scratch their tummies. Eve was one of the few who’d done so and when Oscar, the largest of the cubs and bigger than a full grown German Shepherd, walked between her legs and gave the back of her knee a lick for good luck she’d known the memory would remain for the rest of her life...


Yes, it’d been a magical holiday and she’d be forever grateful to Daniel for spending so much of his long-service leave taking her on this trip. He had insisted, saying that Dad would’ve wanted her to enjoy herself as it had been three years since he’d passed away. Daniel was always encouraging her to see other people but Eve was doubtful whether he’d actually accept her seeing someone else in a romantic way, even though he insisted he would. Well, she’d know one way or another in the next few days, though she knew it wouldn’t be quite as he thought it would be and she still trembled at his possible reaction.


As they entered the cruise ship she looked around at the other passengers, some of whom she recognised from the outward crossing. She waved to Bill and Betty, who’d shared their dinner table, she smiled at little Gemma, who’d attached herself firmly to Eve, saying she was her ‘Gramma’ and had refused to listen to her parents when they reminded her that her grandma and granddad were still in Perth. No -- Gemma wanted Gramma Eve and she’d been very disappointed when they’d separated to go their different ways after berthing in Cape Town.


Now Eve looked at the tentative, shy smile which Gemma gave her and opened her arms out wide. Gemma came running and knocked Eve off balance with the force. Eve took a step back and felt a hand at the small of her back, supporting her. She glanced around with a smile of thanks and found herself looking into the smiling, comfortable face of a lady, approximately her own age but several inches smaller and several pounds heavier.

"I always brace myself when my grandchildren launch themselves at me. They don’t realise how quickly they’re growing!" She laughed. " How old is this one?" Eve explained that the little girl she was now holding was not her granddaughter but a friend she’d met on the way over. "Well, always trust a child’s judgment, I always say. My name’s Meg by the way, how are you?" Meg’s handshake was surprisingly firm as Eve introduced herself and Daniel before Meg continued. "My clan is around somewhere, I’m taking the trip back with my daughter, Carol and her husband, Tom; along with their tribe of four sons. They’ve just had a three-year stint in South Africa and I flew across for a two week holiday and now I’m looking forward to this exciting cruise." Eve just had time to smile her acknowledgement as it was their turn to be shown to their cabins. She looked over her shoulder and said she had no doubt they’d meet again in the next week or so.


Eve and Daniel were escorted to their cabins, which were diagonally opposite to each other and they were left to unpack and settle in. They arranged to meet just before sailing time so, at six o’clock, they went onto the top deck to watch the spectacular cast-off and stayed to watch the last crimson rays of the sun set Table mountain ablaze.


Dinner was delayed that evening due to the late departure and, when Eve and Daniel were shown to their table, Eve was slightly disappointed that they weren’t sharing a table with Bill and Betty but she smiled pleasantly at the youngish couple who were already sitting at their places and John, whom she’d briefly met on the outgoing cruise. The sixth chair was empty and the young woman, who looked slightly familiar, spoke.

"That’s Mum’s place, she’s just saying a last goodnight to our boys." Just then Meg came hurrying in, looking surprisingly fit and agile.

"Sorry guys, late again." Her big smile took in the whole table as she took her seat next to Eve. "Nice to see you again. Wasn’t it just a great send-off. I absolutely loved it and that sun-set......" Eve wondered if the enthusiasm of Meg wouldn’t become just a little tiring by the end of the cruise but then she pulled herself up short. It was always better to have an enthusiastic dinner companion than a complaining or miserable one, so she gave an answering smile and dinner passed pleasantly with everyone starting to get to know each other.


Eve went for her usual early morning swim the next morning and was surprised to see Meg already swimming laps of the pool. Meg noticed the surprised look and laughed.

"Nobody believes I’m a fitness fanatic -- and they’d be right! I do enjoy exercise though, even if it doesn’t keep the extra pounds off. I still play competitive squash and, even if I don’t run quite as much as I used to, I’ve still got a wicked drop shot!" Eve laughed and confided that her tennis had recently been curtailed after a touch of arthritis in her wrist so she had to confine herself to swimming at present.

"To tell you the truth," Meg whispered "I’m getting to the stage where I enjoy the after-game suppers more than the squash games nowadays!"


They lapped the pool in a leisurely fashion for a while then both dried off and sat in the early morning haze, chatting in a desultory manner about African adventures, until they heard enthusiastic shouts.

"Nanny! Nanny!" pierced the air and three boys came running over.

"These," announced Meg, grandly "are my grandsons, Rob, Paul and Steve. Little Nat is a little young to roam unattended." The boys solemnly shook Eve by the hand and then turned back to Meg,

"Tell us a story." they all chorused.

"OK." She paused in thought. "Once upon a time there was a huge African lion ...." Eve tuned out but watched the rapt attention of the three boys as they clung to every word and gesture which Meg made and Eve reflected that Meg’s words were right - children’s judgements can be trusted. She warmed to the woman who was keeping these boys so entranced.

".... and they all lived happily ever after." she heard Meg finish with.

Eve wondered if that were ever true She’d thought that Philip and herself would live happily ever after when they got married but it hadn’t been the case. She hadn’t been unhappy of course, in fact she’d been quite content but there had been the arguments which she’d hated and, of course, over the years this other business had been building inside her. She could say that she’d never been unfaithful to Philip but she wondered if unfaithfulness really started with the deed or the thought. If it was the thought then she had indeed been unfaithful -- twice; and yet, was it the same? Were the thoughts sexual? Yes, they were -- even though they could never have come to anything. What if either of them had made a move towards her? Would she have responded? Could she have resisted? She rather doubted that she could have, so she was glad the question hadn’t been raised. It was different now though, she was widowed. What if she met someone now? Well, first of all she had to talk to Daniel and get that out of the way.


She felt the hand on her arm.

"Breakfast sounds good, don’t you think?" Eve’s brow cleared,

"Yes, it sounds very good - let’s go." She decided she’d worry about Daniel at a later date, when she chose the time to tell him.


The next few days passed pleasantly as they all got into the pattern of shipboard life. Days were spent separately, doing the various organised entertainment with Eve spending lots of time with Gemma. Dinners were spent recounting the days, with Eve and Meg getting into a rivalry as they both tried to outdo each other with the funny stories of the happenings of the day. Over a wine or two the table became quite raucous, with even Daniel at times joining in the fun. Evenings were spent either having a quiet drink or coffee in the lounge or at one of the other entertainments; movies, bingo, karaoke etc. Eve always enjoyed the times when Meg and her family joined them -- everything seemed much livelier when she was there. Eve wondered if Meg was always so jovial or if she had a hidden, more serious side. She was obviously intelligent but she seemed to bring out the funny side of everything.


The opportunity for a serious talk hadn’t eventuated to this point as Daniel had met and seemed rather keen on a young, very attractive doctor and much of his conversation was starting with :-

"Sally says ...." or "Sally and I are going to ...." Eve was pleased and was rather hopeful that the budding romance may continue when they arrived in Perth.

Eve found herself with more and more time to herself which she thoroughly enjoyed but sometimes she missed sharing the little pleasures of the day with someone. One time she saw a school of flying fish and she immediately wished that Meg had been there, as her enthusiasm would somehow have made it even more special.


Nearly a week into the cruise, Meg seemed unusually quiet at dinner and Eve, glancing at her, occasionally caught a stricken look in her eyes. Meg tried to cover it with an occasional burst of enthusiasm and conversation but would then revert to a quiet sadness. There was no opportunity for Eve to ask what the problem was and if she could be of help, as Meg refused coffee. With a bleak smile around the table, she’d excused herself. Her daughter, Carol, explained briefly that her mum had had a shore to ship call with some sad news earlier in the day.


After coffee was finished Sally and Daniel went dancing. Eve excused herself and went to her cabin feeling quite concerned about Meg but, not knowing Meg’s cabin number, there was nothing she could do. On entering her cabin she suddenly decided that she didn’t want the quiet and solitude of her cabin. At that moment she’d prefer to experience them in the open, so she went up to the top deck. There was no wind and it was warm but there was a fine scotch mist in the air. The deck appeared empty, which suited Eve perfectly as she went over in her mind just what words she was going to use, when she finally told Daniel


As Eve walked round the deck to the starboard side of the ship, she saw a lone figure, standing by the rails, with head thrown back as if welcoming the rain on her face. Eve recognised the brown, naturally curling, hair and the soft profile of her friend but she hesitated, unsure whether or not she should intrude on Meg’s obvious distress. She found she couldn’t just turn away though, so she approached Meg and placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. Meg glanced over her shoulder.

"She was so young, Eve. So full of life and had so much to live for." Eve, not fully understanding but totally sympathising, squeezed gently on Meg’s shoulder.

"A relative?"

"No." Meg turned to face Eve, her face wet with rain and tears, "A friend. They’re all friends and all so very young. I’m involved with an organisation called ‘Can-Teen’, it’s ...."

"Yes, I’ve heard of it." Eve broke in "It must be very traumatic for you all the time."

"No, no, it’s so satisfying and rewarding, it’s just when ...." Her voice broke and Eve slipped her other arm around Meg and drew her close, Meg’s bent head fit comfortably below her chin. They stayed quiet and still for a few minutes before Meg broke the contact, stepping backwards and giving a watery smile.

"I’m sorry, I can normally handle it better, it’s just being so far away this time and not being able to help." Eve’s arms dropped down, feeling empty.

"It’s OK." She smiled, wryly, embarrassed at her unusual show of sympathy. She wasn’t normally a very tactile person, especially with women. Her reserve had been brought about in part by her circumstances.

"Thanks for coming and for your support." Meg visibly pulled herself together. "I think I need a drink -- maybe even a good, stiff brandy!" She laughed a little shakily "Would you like to join me in my ‘debauchery’?" Eve accepted the invitation and they spent a quiet half hour in the smallest bar.


The next day Eve determined to speak to Daniel that afternoon so asked if he’d anything arranged with Sally. Daniel sensed that his mother wanted his company and, feeling guilty that he’d been spending so much time with Sally and had been neglecting his mother, he decided to cancel his plans and told Eve he was totally free.


They had a light lunch and Eve asked if they could go down to her cabin as she wanted to talk privately. Daniel was perplexed but obediently followed her down. Eve took a deep breath to steady her nerves before speaking.

"It’s been three years since your father died and in the last year you’ve been pushing me to find another partner." Daniel nodded. "I’m not sure though that you’d really like to see someone in your father’s place."

"Well, not exactly in dad’s place but I do want you to be happy and, as long as the guy is good for you and makes you happy, I will accept him."


Eve took another, steadying breath - this was it!

"What if....? What I mean is -- would you also accept the person if ‘him’ were a ‘her’?" There - it was said! Daniel looked puzzled,

"What do you mean? I always like you to have women friends, though you don’t seem to have too many close ones." This was harder than Eve had ever imagined. She hadn’t thought she would have to explain it in detail.

"No, Daniel. What I mean is -- what if it was a woman that were to take your fathers place?" Daniel frowned,

"You mean....? No, but you’re not....! You’ve been married for thirty six years for God’s sake! You can’t mean ..... that!"


Eve nodded her head "Yes, Daniel, I do mean that. It’s something I’ve repressed all those years, even though I knew, inside me, who I was."

"No! That’s sick! It’s just a phase you’re going through; maybe the change of life! You’re confused because you’re still missing Dad and you’ve not found anyone to match him yet!" Daniel pleaded. "You just can’t be ..... that!" Eve was shaking her head.

"No, you’re wrong, son."

"Do you mean you’re, well -- like -- dual, you know?"

"No Daniel, I’m gay. I’ve always been gay but when I was young; well, in those days, you had to marry, you had children, you pushed it away, pretended it wasn’t there."

"Have you ever -- you know -- done anything? No, no! Don’t tell me, it’s too horrible to even contemplate!"

"No, I’ve never had any sexual relationships with a woman, that would’ve been adultery, in exactly the same sense as having an affair with a man would’ve been. I’ve been in love with two women at different times over the last thirty years though and they never had any idea. Daniel, I’m just not attracted to men in the least. I like them. I’ve got many male friends. I get on really well with them. For goodness sake, I’m always on the same wave length as them but that’s because I feel I’m one of them, not because I want to make love with them!"


Daniel sat with his head in his hands, mumbling

"It’s sick, just sick!" He looked up "God forgive me for saying this but, at this moment, I hope there isn’t an afterlife. I’d hate for Dad to be up there, listening to this!"

"He knew, Daniel. He’d suspected for quite a while I think and, in the end, I told him."

"Is that what killed him?" Daniel shouted as he opened the cabin door and stormed out.


It hadn’t gone well, she hadn’t explained it properly, she hadn’t been able to convince him of anything. Eve’s whole body was shaking and tears of frustration filled her eyes. She turned away from the open, accusing door and sat on the edge of the bed, hurting so much inside at the cruel things Daniel had said -- not meant, she was sure -- but said, all the same.


A soft voice from the door asked to come in. Eve shook her head She couldn’t face anybody at present.

"I saw Daniel come storming along the passage, he didn’t even see me. I saw this door open. Eve, what is it? Surely I can help?" Eve struggled to control her emotions as she looked up at Meg, the hurt showing in her grey eyes, which were awash with unshed tears. Meg turned and softly closed the door before approaching Eve with a little trepidation. Eve hadn’t appeared to be the type to handle sympathy from others She’d always given the impression of being strong, so Meg was unsure of the reception of her own overwhelming sympathy.


She sat next to Eve, not touching her and invited her to talk if she’d like to.

"I’ve been told I’m a good listener, even though I like to talk a lot myself. Please tell me." Eve shook her head, it was too private to tell anybody else but it was so nice to have someone there, close enough to rest her head on, if she had wanted to -- and, with the thought, she found her head was suddenly resting on Meg’s shoulder. How had it got there? Eve didn’t know but it was already there and it felt too comforting to have to lift it off.


They sat for a few moments in silence, broken only by the far-away shipboard sounds.

"Why can’t he accept me for what and who I am?" Eve wondered aloud. Meg, not knowing, was still reassuring.

"He will, Eve. Give him time. Whatever you’ve just told him, it’s obvious that Daniel loves you very much and it’ll only take time for him to accept it."

"Oh God, I hope so!" Eve mumbled into Meg’s comfortable shoulder. She felt the soft pressure of Meg’s lips on her head, warm breathe tickling her hair. She lifted her head and caught a surprised, confused look on Meg’s face. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second, before Meg looked away.

"Would you like me to make you a cup of tea or something?" Meg asked, as she moved away.

"Yes, that’d be lovely." Meg didn’t see the slightly ironic look which Eve cast in her direction.

They had their tea, both making an effort to speak of other things. They talked once more of Africa, sharing stories and memories. When Eve had outwardly recovered from her distress, Meg said she’d better go and prepare for dinner.

"You’ll be there?"

"Yes. I’ll have to brave him sometime and now that I’ve said what I wanted to say, the battle begins to make him understand."

"Well, if you need an ear, I’m always available -- don’t forget." Meg touched Eve on the back of her hand with one finger and walked quickly out of the cabin. Eve watched her go with a slight smile on her lips and an affectionate look in her eyes.


Dinner, that evening, was a very strained affair. Daniel was extra polite to everybody, especially his mother but rarely was seen to smile and everyone sensed a problem. Meg chatted all the way through dinner, drawing on her store of funny anecdotes, earning an occasional grateful look from Eve. Directly after coffee, Daniel got up saying he had things to do but Eve jumped in, quickly.

"How about a turn around the deck, Daniel? It’s such a pleasant evening." Daniel could hardly refuse, so they walked in silence until they reached the top deck.

"Daniel, it’s not what ...."

"Mum, I’m sorry, I ...." They both started to speak simultaneously.

"Sorry, carry on." Daniel said, stiffly.

"It’s not the way you think, Daniel. I told your father two years before he died and, as I said, he’d suspected it for a while. Daniel, your dad had a couple of affairs while we were together. I understood. I couldn’t give him everything he wanted. We loved each other but it was always as friends. We were happy in each other’s company for the most part and, even though there were the odd problems and arguments, I promise you, he accepted me as I am."

"I didn’t mean it, when I said what I did but Mum, the very thought of it turns my stomach over. You’re my mother, for God’s sake!"

"I’m also a person; a woman. I have feelings, needs, loves, just as any person has. I’m now alone and I don’t want to pretend any more."

"Is there somebody, right now?" Daniel asked, reluctantly.

"No." Eve said and then paused in thought but continued. "No, there’s nobody right now." She wondered, ‘Is there? -- Could there be?’ Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Maybe there never will be. After all, Mum, you’re only a few years off sixty!" Eve laughed, a little sadly, at the folly of youth. They all thought that emotions changed, maybe got worn out as people grew older. Well, he’d learn, just as everybody else had to.


There was silence for a while and then Daniel tentatively queried.

"Mum, if you never have -- how do you know you’d like to ..... well....."

"Make love with another woman?" Eve smiled. "I just know it, son. I know it." Daniel saw the far-away look in Eve’s eyes and sighed, hoping with half of himself that he’d never have to face the reality but, reluctantly, hoping also that his mother would find happiness and he’d see her eyes shine again. A more comfortable silence ensued until Daniel said he had to go, as he’d arranged to see Sally. He asked his mother if she was coming down also.

"No, I’ll stay a while, thanks, it’s a beautiful night.

Daniel walked out of sight and, a few minutes later, Meg rounded the corner.

"I’m sorry, I wasn’t being nosy, I just thought I’d wait until you’d finished talking with Daniel and then check to see if you were OK." Eve laughed and, impetuously, threw an arm around her friend’s shoulder and squeezed.

"Yes." she declared, "I think I am OK. and I think things may be just fine." She squeezed Meg’s shoulder again and felt a little tremor.

"Cold?" she asked. Meg gave a half-laugh,

"Yes, I think I am a little." Eve briskly rubbed her hand up and down Meg’s arm to warm her up.

"It’s funny you know, how people react to unwelcome news. I knew he’d be upset but I wasn’t sure how upset or how long it would last." The massaging of Meg’s arm had become slower, softer. "The initial reaction was worse but it then didn’t last as long." She felt a definite shiver travel along Meg’s arm, even though the night was balmy. The gentle hum of the ship’s engines as they drove the massive propellers through the water; the rhythmic motion of the ship as it swayed slightly from side to side; the eternal fluorescent wake which followed them and the starlit sky, all combined to make it a very peaceful night but Meg felt very tense and was unusually quiet. Eve glanced fondly at Meg’s profile and felt her heart begin to quicken.

"Isn’t it a beautiful evening? So peaceful." Her hand continued the current upward momentum and carried on until her hand was touching Meg’s neck, her fingers gently brushing against the sensitive spot, just below the ear. She heard Meg’s intake of breath and saw the involuntary movement of Meg’s hand towards her own face, fractionally before she heard the sound of voices, as a group of revellers came up the final stairs. Meg, also hearing them, moved quickly away, saying she’d just remembered she had something urgent to do. Eve watched her go. On the one hand still thrilling at the feel of Meg, on the other hand scared that she’d frightened Meg away and had risked their friendship. She sighed ‘Well, it can’t be undone. I’ll have to see what tomorrow brings.’ she thought philosophically.


Eve dreamed that night of a soft, warm body. She experienced the thrill of touching swelling breasts, made pliant with the years, of running her hand over womanly hips, of caressing a face, not clear, but undoubtedly that of a woman. In her dream she allowed her fingers to seek, then find the coarse, bushy, triangle of hair. She let them trail down the inside of a plumpish leg and then back up again. She heard the gasp as her fingers found the pulse they were searching for. She felt the spasms through her fingers and called out "Oh God, Meg!" She awoke with a start, her heart pounding, a warmth seeping through her and such a feeling of release. Had she called the name out loud? She didn’t know. She lay there as her heart and body slowly got back to their normal state. She hadn’t had a dream like that for many years and it came as quite a pleasant shock that she could still experience dreams such as these and get the same physical sensations which she’d known as a younger woman. She went back to sleep with a smile on her face. ‘Yes.’ she thought ‘We’ll see what tomorrow will bring.’


The next day saw a slight break in the weather. It was overcast and a wind had sprung up, causing the swell to rise and whitecaps appear. The ship’s stabilisers were having to work hard to reduce the ship’s motion. Most people stayed under cover, so Eve wasn’t surprised at not seeing Meg during the day but she was very disappointed when Carol and Tom arrived at the dinner table alone.

"Paul’s feeling a little unwell and he refused to have anyone but Mum sit with him, so she’s staying there this evening." Carol told the table in general. Eve quelled the rush of frustration which hit her and attempted to be as pleasant and talkative as ever over dinner. It was good to see Daniel making an extra effort to be considerate and loving and this made her feel much better.


Everyone was feeling a little squeamish after dinner, so an early night was decided upon. Eve went to her cabin, hoping that the weather would improve by the morning as she was looking forward to the next day and seeing Meg again.


Once more, the day passed without any sighting of Meg. Eve spent a large part of the day keeping Gemma amused. She was restless, impatient for the dinner hour so, when Carol and Tom arrived alone again, Eve felt the sharp pang of disappointment.

"Paul’s better now but Mum offered to spend the night with the boys as it’s the second last night and of course the farewell dance is on, so we’ve done a swap -- we’ve got Mum’s cabin for the night ....."

"Yeah -- two single beds!" Tom interrupted with a moan.


Daniel had arranged to take Sally to the dance and Eve had hoped Meg would be going, as her sense of fun would’ve made the dance much better.

"Actually, I’m not going to the dance." she heard herself saying. "Maybe Meg would like some company."

"I’m sure she would." Carol enthused, "They’re in cabin number 405. She knows she doesn’t have to stay with them all evening -- just until they’re asleep so, if you wanted to pop into the dance later, or go for a drink, feel free to take her with you."


Eve went back to her cabin to change out of her dinner clothes and put on something more casual and went along the passage to cabin 405 and knocked briskly on the door. The oldest boy, Rob, opened it and, recognising her, invited her in and put his finger across his lips.

"Shsh, Nat and Paul have just gone to sleep and Nanny says we can stay up another half-hour."

"OK. I’ll be quiet as a mouse!" Eve whispered. Meg looked up, surprised, as she recognised the voice. "Hi, I thought you’d like some help with this bunch but it looks as if you’ve dealt with half of them already." Eve tried to be as casual as she could. Rob, rose to his full height in playful affront.

"I’m not part of a bunch." he insisted, "I’m the leader of the bunch!". Eve concurred and said that yes, he was the leader and, in future, she’d show him the respect he deserved. They’d been playing children’s ‘Trivial Pursuit’ when she’d arrived so they continued, with Eve joining Meg against the boys and proceeding to get thoroughly beaten.

"How am I supposed to know Donald Duck’s nephews’ names?" Eve protested as, yet again, they failed to answer the question correctly.


The game finished with a resounding victory to the boys and they went to get ready for bed, happily arguing with each other whether it was children’s superiority over adults, or male’s superiority over females, which won them the game. Meg issued instructions pertaining to teeth, hands and faces and watched, fondly, as they took themselves off for the night.


Meg turned to Eve, still wearing the smile and Eve’s heart missed a beat at the picture she presented; laughing eyes, upturned mouth, soft, feminine, features and the laughter lines which wrinkled at the corner of her eyes. Eve was entranced and it may have shown, as Meg quickly looked away. ‘Settle down,’ Eve told herself, ‘take it nice and steady.’ She mentioned, conversationally, that everyone was dressed up to the nines at dinner that night, ready for the dance later in the evening. The tension eased and they were soon chatting comfortably.


Eve learned more about Meg’s life as a cook.
"Well, chief cook and bottle washer really!". Meg joked - though, by then, Eve knew that Meg was actually a ‘Cordon Bleu’ cook and had worked at various well-known hotels in her life. She had separated from, then divorced, her husband while her daughter was still young. She didn’t go into details but Eve received the impression that he’d been a bit of a con man and it sounded as if she’d been better off without him. There’d been no financial help from him, so Meg had put her talent for cooking to use and she’d worked her way up through the ranks of kitchen assistant, pastry cook offsider, assistant cook and finally cook in her own right. She’d tried and mostly succeeded, in being there for Carol whenever she wasn’t in school. She’d recently taken early retirement but, after sitting at home and being on a few committees, she’d been introduced to Can-Teen by a friend whose young daughter had cancer. Meg had taken to going in periodically to help but in the last few months, she’d been involved every day and Carol had suggested, as a bit of a break, that she take the trip to South Africa as a holiday, then journey back with them.


Meg recounted some of the tales of bravery by these youngsters and her mobile face travelled through a myriad of emotions as Eve looked on, fascinated. The more she saw and learned of this woman, the more attracted she was.


Meg stopped suddenly, saying that as usual she was talking too much.

"Have you resolved things with Daniel?" Eve’s, normally serious, face broke into a wide smile.

"Yes, I think ..... I really believe ..... that things will be all right now. There may be some rocky times ahead but we’ll deal with those as they arrive."

"Good, let’s have a glass of wine to celebrate." Meg jumped up to get the wine and tripped over a chair leg and would’ve toppled forward had it not been for Eve’s quick reactions in reaching out a hand and catching hold of her. Meg clung to Eve’s hand and, without forethought, blurted out a confession.

"I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I’m feeling strange things -- emotions. You look at me in a certain way sometimes and my legs feel like jelly. I’ve never felt this way, even with a man and all the books say that’s what I ought to feel. I don’t want to shock you -- but I think I’m attracted to you!" Eve returned the pressure on Meg’s hand.

"I’m not shocked at all, you know. I think though, that you need to think out these feelings and emotions a bit more -- for your own peace of mind, I mean." she added, hurriedly.


Meg appeared disappointed, as if she’d wanted more but didn’t know what more she could’ve wanted. She released Eve’s hand with an apologetic look.

"I’m sorry if I embarrassed you."

"Never. I’m quite unembarrassable -- if there’s such a word!" They laughed, the camaraderie back in place.


They talked and sipped wine, saying every now and again that it must be getting late and they really ought to retire for the night. Eventually, hours later, Meg went into the bedroom to look at the bedside clock and was shocked to find it was 3.45am ‘God, where had the time gone?’

"I really do have to go now." Eve said "Well, soon anyway!" Meg jumped up,

"Let’s go and watch the sunrise." she enthused, "There’s only half an hour or so to go." Eve took up the suggestion with an equal enthusiasm. Both women were feeling relaxed and happy -- partly the wine but mostly because of each others’ company. They threw on their loose jackets to ward off the early-morning chill, secured the door behind them and made their way to the top deck in the silence, occasionally whispering to each other and laughing, rather tipsily. They walked towards the port rail and tried to pick out a slight lightening of the sky. The ship itself was in darkness and Meg grabbed, then clung to, Eve’s hand so as not to lose her in the dark.


They reached the rail and stood shoulder to shoulder, lapsing into a companionable silence. Eve’s hand was still tucked into Meg’s, slightly plumper, one. The bright stars in the inky black sky, the huge expanse of ocean and the gentle motion of the ship had their effect.

"It’s awesome!" Meg breathed. Eve lifted their intertwined hands and gently kissed the back of Meg’s hand before transferring it into her other hand, allowing her free arm to slip beneath Meg’s jacket encircling her waist. Her hand was enfolded by the soft warmth, her thumb gently caressing the skin beneath the silk of her blouse.


Not a word was spoken as Eve’s hand moved down slightly to rest on Meg’s hip, before slowly dipping lower. Meg gasped as Eve’s hand cupped one buttock but Eve increased the pressure, twisting Meg’s hips to face her own. Their breasts brushed against each other, causing a sharp, indrawn, breath from Meg. The smaller woman’s head was tipped slightly back as her eyes locked with Eve’s. She freed her hand and lifted it to Eve’s face, unconsciously copying Eve’s own action by cupping Eve’s cheek.


They stood together, their hands cupping differing cheeks, for a heartbeat until Eve could hold back no longer. She bent her head slightly until their lips were millimetres apart, their breath mingling. One last pause to savour the moment before they bridged the gap as one, softly at first, their lips exploring, seeking, tasting. Meg’s hand slipped to the back of Eve’s head and increased the pressure as they became lost in each other, desperate to devour, unable to get enough of one another. Long-forgotten, or never known, yearnings to explore with tongues, teeth and lips exploded in them. Passion overcame gentleness as their hands searched, found, then searched for more of each other. Their breathing was ragged as their hands touched, caressed and fondled each other, both getting more and more frustrated with the restrictions of their clothing. Eve’s "Come." was the first word spoken as she grasped Meg’s hand and almost dragged her along. They reached Eve’s cabin quickly and the lock on the door had barely been slipped into place before they were again in each other’s arms, mouths locked together, hands frantically working to slip out of jackets, shoes, shirts, sometimes their own, sometimes each other’s.


Finally they stood, naked, bodies glistening with sweat, pressing against each other with mouths still locked. Eve guided Meg back a step or two until the back of her knees touched the bed and they fell, as one, onto the cool covers.

"Eve I don’t know what ....."

"Shsh -- anything! Do anything you want! Everything!" Was Eve’s desperate reply as she trailed her lips down to Meg’s ample breasts, buried her face between them, tasting the salt from Meg’s perspiration. She moved her lips to grasp a nipple between them, sucking, nipping, drawing moans from deep within Meg. Their hands flew, touched, stroked, entered each other. Their bodies were wet with sweat, breath came in gasps, years of built-up frustration released in uncontrolled passion.


Meg felt Eve’s fingers deep inside her, demanding her final release, which she could feel build from deep within herself. She had to stop her own exploration of Eve’s body, her whole being concentrated on her core, as the first spasms began. She gripped Eve’s hair, oblivious of the pain she caused, as was Eve herself. Her moans deepened as the barely-remembered near-pain hit her and she cried out in a kind of agonised ecstasy. When her breathing slowed somewhat, Meg knew that this wasn’t enough for her. As the last tremors finished, she swung over on top of Eve, her pleasure not complete until Eve had also felt relief from her own, obvious, sexual build up. Meg’s hands and lips covered Eve’s body, her knee was pushed up hard between Eve’s thighs, feeling her rhythmic rubbing against it and she felt the wet heat.


Eve felt the knee pushing her thighs apart and strained, thrusting and rubbing against it, wanting contact, needing to feel warm skin against her inner folds. She cried out in frustration as the knee was removed, only to sigh with relief as she felt the soft, wet warmth of Meg’s mouth and tongue, entering her. Fingers joined the mouth in caressing and stroking the throbbing pulse. She wanted, needed, to be filled, she craved the fingers inside her,

"Fuck me, please!" She gasped, shocking herself with the use of the word -- it sounded good. "Meg, please fuck me now!" She groaned as her request was granted. She pushed her hips up into the hard intrusion and, feeling that her heart was about to explode, finally felt the delicious orgasm consume her, squeezing rhythmically against the fingers deep inside her, until there was nothing left. She groaned once more when the fingers were slowly withdrawn.


They lay together, touching, as their breathing and heartbeats returned to normal and the sweat dried on their skin. Meg was the first to break the long silence,

"I don’t believe we did that!"

"Oh, believe it -- we did it." a pause "Regret it?" Meg rolled onto her side facing Eve.

"I could never regret it Eve but I don’t know how it could happen. I’m not like that!" Eve laughed, gently.

"Oh Meg. You’re attracted to me, you enjoyed making love to a woman. I assure you Meg -- you are ‘like that’."

"But I’ve never ....."

"It doesn’t mean you have to be attracted to all women or want to make love to all women." Eve interrupted. "It just means you have the capacity to be attracted to and want to make love to a woman."

"Hmm -- maybe." Meg said doubtfully, I’m going to have to think things over. God! Look at the time, it’s almost 6 am. I’ll have to go." Eve put a restraining hand on Meg’s shoulder and leaned over, bringing her lips down in a gentle kiss to Meg’s mouth. Lifting her head, she reminded.

"Just remember the feel of that, my love." She released her and watched her retrieve her clothes from the floor, then dress and leave.


Eve’s eyes were bright with unshed tears at the thought that Meg’s ‘thinking’ may lead her to the conclusion that it was an aberration, a mistake, not to be repeated. She tossed and turned a little before sinking into a deep, physically satisfied, sleep.

Eve slept late, lunched and wandered the decks, not seeing Meg or Daniel. She arrived at the dinner table to find everyone already there. She tried to catch Meg’s eye but, after her initial casual greeting, Meg’s attention was kept determinedly elsewhere. Daniel commented on the fact that Eve had slept in late and Carol chimed in.

"Yes, Mum slept in today too. You both look a little tired, were the boys a bit much? Did they tire you both too much?" Eve glanced at Meg, this time being rewarded with eye contact and, seeing the twitch at Meg’s mouth, replied,

"No, they were fine, I think it’s just the excitement of the trip catching up with us." with tongue firmly in cheek. Another look at Meg caught the huge grin before it was covered by a cough. Eve was relieved that Meg could also see the humour of the situation and she relaxed, sure that they were both still on the same wave-length.


Conversation was relaxed and Meg appeared her normal, happy self and included Eve in the general conversation without outward embarrassment, even smiling every now and then directly into Eve’s eyes. Plans were discussed for the evening, the last one on board the ship, as they were berthing at noon the following day. Daniel wanted to see Sally but was reluctant to leave Eve alone on the last night.

"It’s OK Daniel, Eve’s going to come and have a nightcap with me." Meg raised an inquiring eyebrow to Eve.

"Yes Daniel, you enjoy your evening with Sally. Meg and I will have a cosy drink and chat."

"That’s great then but don’t have too late a night, you’re looking a little tired."


They each went their separate ways after dinner but first everyone exchanged phone numbers and addresses, so they could keep in touch with one another when back in Perth. Eve and Meg walked together in silence, wondering what the other one was going to say in the privacy of Meg’s cabin.


The door clicked shut behind Eve. Meg asked,

"Would you like a nightcap? I have duty-free scotch or vodka and all the mixers are in the fridge."

"A vodka and orange would be great, thanks." Meg poured the drinks and passed Eve’s over to her.

"I’ve been thinking constantly since this morning," Meg began "and I know that I’m attracted to you and we both know how much I enjoyed last night," She paused.
"But ....." Eve interjected.

"Yes -- but .....! I don’t think I’m ready to change my lifestyle and I do think I can -- ought -- to put the incident behind me. Basically, I think it was a one-off. I’ve been frustrated for a long time and the circumstances and the romance of the cruise all combined to seduce me into doing what I -- we -- did." She paused for a while then "May I ask you something?" and at Eve’s nod. "Are you ....? or rather - have you ....?"

"Am I gay? Yes. Have I made love to a woman before? No, I haven’t. I’ve only just accepted that I am attracted solely to women, though I’ve recognised it for years. This is my time now, a time for me to do what pleases me. You can probably guess that it was this issue which Daniel was so upset about. It took me a long time to pluck up courage to tell him."

"Yes, you’re very brave to face it. I’m sure I couldn’t -- if, of course, I wanted to ..... if there was something to face, I mean." She stumbled over the words and turned away.

"Listen." Eve started. "If it didn’t mean very much to you and it’s not enough for you to make major changes in your life, then it’s OK Honestly, it’s fine!" She rested a hand on Meg’s shoulder in an understanding way.


At the touch, Meg spun round and looked up into Eve’s eyes and was lost. She slowly bridged the gap between them, bringing her lips up to the level of Eve’s mouth and gently pressed them to Eve’s lips, moulding them together, moving them as one. She encouraged Eve’s lips apart with the tip of her tongue before reaching inside Eve’s mouth, licking and tasting. Eve stood still, not resisting, not participating, wanting any seduction to be solely from Meg.


Meg willingly acquiesced, stroking her hands up and down Eve’s arms and around to her back, gently scratching through the thin material of Eve’s shirt. One hand trailed a path around to Eve’s breasts and cupped one, gently kneading it, rubbing the hardened nipple with her thumb, all the while kissing the passive, though not unresponsive, mouth. She whispered into Eve’s mouth.

"Imagine my tongue inside you, feel it lick, feel the heat, the wet, the movement!" She slipped her tongue inside Eve’s mouth and Eve obediently imagined the movement inside that other part of her. Her heart was pounding but she was determined that Meg had to do everything voluntarily with no coercion from her. Meg’s mouth moved lower and Eve threw back her head to expose the vulnerable throat to Meg’s tender assault.


Meg’s fingers started to work on the buttons of Eve’s shirt. Eve unthinkingly went to help but had her hands blocked.

"No. I’m going to be the one," echoing Eve’s earlier wish. Eve’s shirt was eased off, followed by her slacks; her bra was expertly unhooked one-handed before Meg’s thumbs hooked into each side of Eve’s briefs, sliding them down over her long legs. Eve stepped out of them, feeling the air cool the hot wetness at the junction of her legs. Sensing the focus of Eve’s thoughts, Meg slid her hand back up Eve’s inner thigh and her fingers found the heat, the moisture and the erect bud which pulsed beneath her touch.

"Oh! Yes please." murmured Eve.

"Oh, no -- not yet. I’m not rushing this." She removed her fingers from the inner folds and brushed them, still wet and slippery, upwards to Eve’s naked breasts, causing the nipple to rise again as the now-cool dampness touched them. Meg’s lips followed the trail, ending up attached to the hard nipple.

"I can taste you." Caused a lurch to Eve’s stomach, the erotic words arousing her even more


"You’ve got a beautiful body." Meg murmured.

"Too thin." was Eve’s quick response. "I love your body, it’s so soft and welcoming -- womanly. Please; I want to see you, touch you, love you!"

"Soon, my love." Meg continued to make love to Eve’s body; kissing, caressing, arousing Eve to nearly uncontrollable tremors, while keeping Eve’s own hands from touching her. Finally she divested herself of her own clothing allowing Eve’s body a few minutes respite from the building tension. Then came the moment that they both stood naked, they put their arms around each other and kissed with great tenderness before the tension started to build once again.


Meg held Eve’s hand and said,

"Come!" and led her to the comfort of the bed. Eve lay down and Meg knelt on the floor next to the bed, leaning over, using her lips and tongue on each sensitive point on Eve’s body. Eve was moaning as her trembling body craved it’s release. When Meg moved Eve around, so that her hips were on the edge of the bed, Eve willingly allowed her legs to drape over Meg’s shoulders and gasped with pleasure as Meg plunged her face in the musky mound of hair and pierced Eve’s body with her tongue. This time there was no delay, the orgasm hitting her, wave upon wave, as her fingers buried themselves in Meg’s hair until the waves receded, leaving an incredible warmth and tingling sensation. Meg felt every ripple of the orgasm with her mouth and almost reached her own climax purely from the pleasure of Eve’s excitement. She couldn’t wait for any preliminaries as she lay herself face down on the bed next to Eve and guided Eve’s fingers inside herself. She slipped down onto them and then up again, in charge of the movement; teasing herself with the slow rhythm. Eve’s fingers felt the first tiny quiver, quickly building into the welcome wave of spasms which brought forth low groans from Meg as each one consumed her and then a soft sigh as she was left with the warmth and satisfaction.

"Stay!" Eve looked inquiringly at Meg. "Please, stay with me tonight." Meg pleaded.

"I’d love to but what about ....?"

"I don’t care. No, I really don’t care who knows." Meg laughed out loud as she knew it was true -- she’d found what she wanted and nothing anyone could say would change that. She’d face any conflict later, as long as Eve was beside her.

"I’ll be with you." Eve reassured as she read her mind like a long-married partner.


They slept the night in each other’s arms and awoke to each others eyes in the morning.

"Hi, darl."

"Hi, babe." They hugged and kissed, passion spent for the time being. They showered, dressed and prepared to face the world.


It was after 9 am when Meg said she’d walk Eve back to her cabin. As they passed Daniel’s cabin the door opened and he emerged. He smiled at them and then noticed his mother was still wearing the last evening’s clothes. He looked perplexed and started to ask his mother why. Meg reached for and held Eve’s hand, making him pause as he noticed the motion. He frowned and then looked up and saw two pairs of steadfast eyes watching him -- waiting. He hesitated for a while, the frown still in place and then his faced cleared and he smiled.

"You two ladies are looking very well, this beautiful morning. Isn’t it a perfect day for the start of the rest of our lives?" He bent forward and kissed both women on the cheek.


Meg squeezed Eve’s hand and her lover returned the pressure in full.

If you have enjoyed F.J. Davey's "Entering The Rainbow", then please be certain to e-mail her at  francis7[at]bigpond.net.au  and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of F.J. Davey's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.