Sapphic Voices Romance

She's Like The Wind

WARNING: This Story contains strong language and mild violence.

Her lips brushed against mine as we stood in my candle lit room beside my large dresser. The mirror reflected the orange glow cast upon us, as the flame flickered around us. Stepping back, I watched her, my heart pounding in nervous anticipation. Id known her for years, but it had only been 5 hours earlier that we had met face to face. “Wow!” was the only coherent phrase that managed to escape my mouth, as I gazed into the shining brownish, bluish, greenish eyes of my best friend.

Taking my hands in hers, she led them up to her pink tank top. She urged them on, as I nervously stood before her, and eased it up over her slender body and over her head. My eyes never leaving her gaze. There I stood, hands shaking and palms sweaty as I clutched her shirt in one hand and let the other rest upon her hips.

I had been with others before, her. But in my 30 years … The way I felt with her was something I had NEVER felt before.

Stepping closer to her, I could feel the heat of her breath on my face. My hands still resting on her hips and gripping her shirt once more, our lips met, this time the kiss deepened. It changed direction. With my eyes still closed and my head spinning in thought, I felt her pull back as she led me those few short steps to my own bed. Leaning me down on my back, a move I was sure she had done before. Despite the fact that she was young and innocent looking, one might have thought by merely looking at her that she lacked experience. And, although she had never slept with a man, she had however had been with one other woman.

I watched intently as she straddled me. I saw the glow of the flames dancing on her milky white skin as she leaned in kissing me intently. Instinctively I let my hands begin to roam over her. Her skin was so soft, like putty to my kneading hands. I let them fist into the long brown hair sprawling down over her shoulders. I laughed as she fought with the hair that at that moment seemed nothing but a distraction. Sitting up she let her hands drift behind her to unclasp her red bra, and let her breasts spill forth. They were breasts that Id seen hundreds of times before but up until now had only ever dreamed of touching. Not too big, but not to small. Perfect!

I could feel the desire building in the pit of my stomach to just devour her. But instead I watched as she hovered over me. Lifting herself to a standing position, she stripped herself of the remainder of her clothing. Doing it clumsily, but albeit ever so sexy.

Outside of my family, she was the only naked woman Id ever really seen. She held such innocence and such beauty. Looking at her I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that an angel had fallen from heaven into my arms. Everything about her was so amazingly perfect. Every blemish, and imperfection we both knew that she had, was never before at that moment more perfect in my eyes. And though I knew that this was meant to be nothing more than sex, I had to admit to myself one thing. I was falling helplessly and hopelessly in love with this girl.

As she eased herself into a sitting position before me, she took my hands in hers once more and sat me up pulling me into her, and kissing me softly, I knew what she was going to do next. Giving me a soft smile, she informed me that I was still in clothes that were in need of removing. Grasping the hem of my shirt in her fingers, she helped me out of it, exposing the scars I held on my back, I looked down in shame. Only one other person had ever truly seen me as I now sat. Was the same person who with his words destroyed every ounce of me. I didn’t have to tell her why I was scared. She already knew. I had been engaged to Rodney Hewitt for two months before finding the strength and courage to be honest enough with myself that I was lesbian. Telling him was the hardest thing for me to do. Hearing his reaction though ...I was prepared for his anger and wrath. What I wasn't prepared for though, were hearing his words that even still today, alone in my room with Beth stung.

"There's no way you're a lesbian." He said in disbelief. Rising up from the couch he began to pace the floor of his living room in his small apartment. I watched nervously from the couch. I felt like a reprimanded child, waiting to hear it's punishment. He paused, to look at me before shaking his head. "There's no way." He said, moving quickly he sat down beside me once again "You're scared," he said, taking my hands in his and giving them a quick squeeze. "It's cold feet. You've got cold feet." He said assuringly.

Giving thought to his words, for a moment I wonder if it is just cold feet? Thinking back over my life however, the countless crushes on girls that I had growing up, I know it isn't cold feet. Breaking free of his grip on my hands, I wipe my hands on the sides of my jeans. "Rod, I'm not scared, and it isn't cold feet. I'm lesbian." I tell him.

"You can't be." He tells me leaning his back against the couch. "We slept together." He reminds me. "You just didn't enjoy it, we'll try it again and you'll like it better." He says decisively. "It just takes practice." He says and takes my hands in his once more.

"No!" I say breaking free again, and rising up. "Rod, listen to me, I know this sounds so cliché to say during a break up, but it's not you. It's me. I like girls, I always have. Think about it..." I start to remind him. "Don't you remember when Leslie and I kissed that night we went with her and Neil to the club in Santa Cruz?" I say trying to bring the night out with my best friend and her boyfriend to his memory. "Yes Neil asked us if we had ever kissed when we were younger and I'm sure on her end it was more for his benefit, but I've had a thing for her since we were 8." I confess.

"Now you're just being silly." He says as he gets up and stands inches away from me. "The joke's over babe come on." He says gripping my elbow. Stepping aside, I give the space more for me than him. He looks at me shocked. "You're serious?" He questions, as the reality sinks in. We stand for several moments in an eerie quiet. I move to sit at one of the barstools at the kitchen counter, leaving him standing where he is. "You know why I never looked at you when we had sex that night?" He asks, finally breaking the silence.

"What?" I ask looking up at him in confusion, wondering what that has to do with anything?

"Do you know why I never looked at you that night?" He asks again, his jaw clenching as he stares blankly at the floor. "Because I couldn't bare to look at all the acne on your face and back. It made me physically sick to my stomach." He says coldly before I can respond. "I never liked kissing you either." He says looking up at me for some sort of reaction. "The gap in your teeth, and your soda stained teeth, it's disgusting." He says, as I rise up, refusing to let him see me cry. Refusing to let him see he's hurt me. "If I could take back that night I would." He says. "I can not believe I touched your dirty, nasty, disgusting, fat, acne covered, body. I always wanted to throw up after kissing you." He said, his voice sounding repulsed. I stand frozen, wanting to leave, yet wanting to cry. How someone could be so hurtful ...

Tilting my face up to meet her gaze. Beth shakes me free of the memory. She smiles at me, as she whispers her words of encouragement, before giving me a gentle kiss.

"Cameron, he was wrong hunni." She says, comforting me. "No one is perfect, we all have imperfections. It's the heart sweety. That's what's important." she says to me as she kisses me deeper, letting her hands run over my stomach and sides. Brining her hands to my shoulders, she slides the straps of my bra down, and lightly kisses each shoulder, before encouraging me to remove that piece of clothing. Pulling back and obliging, I toss the garment aside, letting it fall to the floor with the other articles of now discarded clothing.

Kissing me once more, Bethany eased me back onto my bed, pressing her body hard against mine. Her mouth hot and hungry as she parted my lips with hers and let her tongue slip past to tangle with mine. Her hands were a surprising contrast as they roamed over me. Soft, yet rough as they rubbed my breasts and teased my nipples.

We had made a pact before she had come out here to visit. If we had sex, it was just going to be that. Nothing more, and nothing less. She had just ended a relationship with someone, and so had I. We were just friends. Friends who happened to have an amazing connection and even more amazing sex. She wasn't over Janette, and I knew that. And as much as I still wasn't over Lacey, I'd only just really gotten to know Beth in the last six months that I had been back home.

Although Id spoken to both Beth and on a rare occasion, Janette, in the chat room Id been a part of for over a year. From the first night Id entered Lesbian Haven 12 I found myself drawn to Bethany Stevens. Perhaps it was her accent. British and posh sounding. She spoke with such eloquence. Perhaps it was her openness and friendly nature. Everyone seemed drawn to her. Or maybe it was the picture on her profile that had me taken with her.

She was young. 25 according to her profile. Her skin looked smooth and milky white. Her bluish - grayish eyes were expressive and spoke of many things. She struck me as someone who, though young, lived a life beyond her years. I saw happiness and I saw pain and sadness. But most of all I saw strength. Her long brown hair framed an oval shaped face. Her nose, was like a little button and her smile was contagious. She was beautiful, so beautiful in fact, I sat there that first night with butterflies in the pit of my stomach looking at her picture on my screen. And, although Id moved to Nashville to try and pursue my career as a song writer and to work things out with my ex girlfriend Lacey Battencourt, in the back of my mind I couldn't shake the thoughts of this girl I hardly knew.

She and I exchanged an email here and there while I was away. We chatted via I.M.'s, and a few friends kept me up to date on her well being. The day I was called into my bosses office and told I was being fired, I was crushed. Two weeks later when Lacey told me that she had met someone else, I thought my world had ended. At the same time however, I was somewhat happy. Which confused me. Coming back home to Colorado not knowing what I was going to do with myself, was scary to say the least. Now I know it was for the best. From the second Beth stepped of the plane, she and I connected immediately, in every way possible. Even though the pact we made frustrates the hell out of me, getting to know Bethany is what has kept me going. Her encouragement has given me strength and because of her, my heart is slowly but surely healing.


Like a gentle breeze wafting through the trees, she entered my life and she's leaving just as quick. Watching her go isn't easy. And, as we enter the airport, those final hours in the dark, making love to her haunt me. In my candle-lit room, we slowly undress and move to the bed. Lips meeting, bodies moving. She leads me to a new place, of ecstasy mixed with agony. Pleasure and pain surround us as we climb together aiming for that plateau. She guides me deeper and deeper, filling me, blinding me. Burning me, taking me over the edge. Breathless and trembling, we lay together in the stillness of the night. Resting my head over her heart, listening as its beats fill my quiet room, I close my eyes hoping to freeze this moment in time. Though I've tried to deny it, little by little, as our torrid affair these past few weeks has gone on, I've fallen in love with her. A fact she doesn't know.

Taking me by the hand she shakes me from my thoughts. Her palm is sweaty, and her hand is shaking. She's crying. Surprised by this, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her her close as we stand in the line to check in her baggage. Bethany Stevens has always been the cool and calm one. More so since her break up with Janette. Her heart has been guarded. She's built up more walls around herself. Placing her bags on the small counter, and giving the gentleman her information, she gets her ticket. She glancing down she looks at the time of departure on it, as we make our way hand in hand through the small crowds of people in these early hours.

"30 minutes to kill," She says, her accent soft and sweet. Seeing a small empty cafe, she walks over and places an order for an iced tea, and I ordered a mocha, before she leads us to a secluded spot in the corner. Setting her backpack down on the floor by her feet, we sit in silence for several moments, both of us sipping from our drinks. I study her, taking in every angle of her face. Etching it to my memory. Her face is round. Her skin, like porcelain. Her eyes like a chameleon, changing color with her mood and ever so expressive. Her lips thin and wide. Her brown hair hung just past her shoulders framing her face. Nervously she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I noticed her long fingers. "Piano hands" is what my grandmother used to call them. Setting her drink down in front of her, she toyed with the rim before speaking finally.

"I don't want to hurt you." she said. "Don't want to lead you on." Her voice trailed off. She takes a sip of her tea.

"You aren't." I lied. From the moment things took a more intimate turn I knew I couldn't handle the regulations that had been placed upon our relationship before she came out here to Colorado to visit me. I knew I had feelings for her when we first started talking and becoming better friends. But touching her, and tasting her however, for me only confirmed it.

Beth sighed and took a sip of her tea. My gaze was steady on her. It was when she returned the eye contact that I realized this. Why did I suddenly feel as transparent as a glass house? Her eyes were a cool blue-ish grey at the moment. "I'm just not ready for another relationship." She stated. "And I sure as hell cant do a long distance relationship." She confessed. "I just want to have fun right now. I'm young still, yanno?" She questioned.

"Beth I get it, I understand." I felt like a ton of bricks was falling down on top of me. "There's no ultimatums here. You're there and I'm here, and we had a great time these past 3 weeks." I paused. "Plus I've had more action with you than I have in months." I laughed trying to make myself feel better.

"Aye." She agreed. "We had the time of our lives." She smiled a contemplative smile as she once again ran a finger around the rim of her iced tea. We sat in silence for a long while. I watched her again. I wondered what she was feeling. I wondered what she was thinking of as we sat there, the cafe empty now, as the man running it went on his pre dawn break. Rising from her seat, Beth straddled my lap. The kiss caught me off guard. As she wrapped her arms around my neck, and rocked her hips slowly against mine. I allowed myself to sink into it. I allowed myself to fall under her control if only for a split second. Imagining it was her way of telling me she wanted more, that her feelings ran deeper than she allowed herself to reveal... her confession to me. She pressed her body closer to me, took more. Gave more, deepening the kiss, I let my hands run between her thighs. For just a moment I allowed them the pleasure of stroking her. Though she was wearing jeans, I could feel her dampness, and imagined letting my fingers delve into the shaven heat between her parted legs as we sat in the lone cafe. I wasn't sure where the moan came from, Beth or me. When we broke apart, her breath was hot and ragged against my face. Her body still pressed close to mine. She shifted, leaned to look into my eyes. Quickly I glanced away. She's so close to perfect, and I'm not. Every time we've made love I've been reminded of how lucky I am to have someone like her look twice in my direction.

I tried to steady myself, collect my thoughts. Everything seemed scattered. Were her feelings changing? Did she want more? Was what we had just an illusion? Was it something I clung to, to help ease my pain? Was I fooling myself that she could help to stop the hurt? Was she adding to it? I wanted to know. Needed to know. Running my hands lazily up and down the sides of her thighs, I lifted them and gently cupped her face. Slowly I brushed my lips against hers. Soft and sweet, her skin like silk under my fingertips, as I brushed my thumbs lightly over her cheeks. My lips meshing with hers. The kiss lingered, it changed speed. It changed direction. Pulling back, her taste still fresh on my mouth, I feel her breath against my skin once more. I swallow hard, trying to wet my drying throat. She's under my skin and in my blood. I wonder how its possible that she and I can have this deep connection and not take things further. I wonder how its possible to just keep things at a fun and flirtatious level. She challenges me spiritually, emotionally and physically. Now that I've experienced her, I'd go crazy keeping things the way they've been.

I shift under her weight in the chair. She toys with the hair at the nape of my neck. Her nails sending shivers over me and causing goose bumps to rise. I bite my lip nervously unsure of what to say. I let my gaze roam anywhere but to hers.

"Oi wench what ya thinkin 'bout?" She questions.

"Just hoping you have a safe flight." I say, hoping she'll accept that answer.

"I'll be fine ya big dork." She teases, ruffling my hair with her hand and kisses my cheek. Sliding off my lap, she takes my hand and urges me to stand. Wrapping my arms around I give her one last lingering kiss. She's just over an inch taller than me. Slender, with legs that go on for miles. Breaking apart, she grabs her backpack, flinging it over one of her shoulders, we link hands and make our way to her gate. We walk in silence for several minutes. I can feel the tears wanting to fall. I stifle them though. Reaching the passenger check in she sighs. "Well, this is my stop." She says, and pulls me to her. "I'll call ya when I get home and get settled." She says as we break contact. Again my gaze roams everywhere else.

"See ya later goofball." I say trying to sound cool and calm, though my voice is threatening to break as I stand fidgeting.

"Bye Cam." She says, and turns to leave.

"I love you Beth!" I say silently to myself.

I stand watching her for what seems like an eternity as she makes her way through the security check point and finally disappears from view. Slowly I make my way back out of the airport and to my car. Stopping only to watch as her plane departs. For a split second I think I spot her before it takes off. So many things run through my mind. So many questions, and so many things left unsaid.

Opening the door to my car, I slide in and start the engine. Turing on the radio as I drive home, every song is a reminder of her. Things we shared, things we said. Every song bringing it to my mind. One in particular standing out, "Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs." The words echoing my heart as I drive along the empty road in the early morning light, while one question burns in my heart ... Will Bethany Stevens ever know how much I love her?


"What does Janette see in her?" Bethany huffed to me over the phone. "Did nothing we shared matter?" She asked the question to no one in particular, through her tears. I've known she wasn't over Janette from the start. She's been home a week already and once again, like I've done many times since Beth and I have started talking, I sit on the phone listening to her cry over her ex-girlfriend.

"I'm sure it mattered to her Beth." I offer up trying to console her. "She dated you for two years," I say pausing as I pull Beth's picture up on my computer screen. "She experienced you Beth in every way." I pause letting myself get lost in her picture. "I'm sure every moment with you meant the world to her." I offer reassuringly. And though for a moment it feels as though I've been winded by a punch to the gut, as we talk about Janette, my mind wanders back to our nights together, and I wonder how she can't feel what my stupid heart feels? I scold myself silently for letting my heart get involved ... for falling in love, As I sit here looking at her picture, the butterflies are heightened by the fact that I'm hearing her voice.

"Then why'd she go'n throw it away?" She says, her voice filled with hurt, anger and confusion all in one. "Marci." She huffs out and I can almost see Beth's face as she rolls her eyes.

"She's nuts." I say trying to make her smile. "Insane. Mental even." I say hearing her laugh. "Mission accomplished.'" I tease.

"And what was that?" She asks. "To make me laugh?"

"Well," I say "Yea actually it was, and it worked. Damn I'm good." I say playfully.

"How good are ya then?" She says, her attitude suddenly becoming flirtatious.

"I could tell you," I say teasingly. "But showing you would be more fun."

"Well come on then." She banters back. "Me beds cold n' I need some one to cuddle me n' keep me warm."

"I'm on my way." I tease.

"Well hurry then." She says. "Its silly o'clock n' I need my ugly sleep." She says stifling a yawn. "You can call me tomorrow'z if ya want." She says.

"You want me to?" I ask.

"Yea." She says simply.

"Ok then." I say. "I'll call ya. Sleep well."

"You too when ya go." She says and with that the conversation is over and I'm left with the sound of the dial tone in my ear.

"I love you..." I whisper to myself as I push the off button on my phone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

babybrit: That wasn't me lolz.

The message popped up a few days later while we were in the chat room, tearing me away from my newest song momentarily.

Blue_QQ: That wasn't you what?

I questioned not at all knowing what Id done.

babybrit: U said hb 2 me not 2 Leslie. lolz.

Blue_QQ: Ahhhh I did? It was an accident. I wasn't paying attention.

babybrit: Yea yea.

Blue_QQ: What yea yea?

babybrit: U like me Cameron, u really like me. ;)

Bethany typed it teasingly and I felt heat rushing to my face. How did she know? Did someone tell her? Thoughts swam wildly in my head like a whirlpool.

Blue_QQ: What makes you so sure there missy?

I replied bantering back. I wanted to play it cool. Tried to play it cool. I had to play it cool. If she knew my feelings and they weren't reciprocated, I knew Id loose a good friend. Knowing how close we had become in the short time that I had been home, I wasn't ready for that to be over. I knew that there was so much more new ground to uncover. So much more to discover about her. Above all I knew that she wasn't over Janette and I didn't want to go through another rejection. Especially not now that I felt as though things in my life were finally on the right track. Id found a new job, a new apartment, purchased a new car, and as Bethany and I grew closer, it felt like the icing on top of the cake.

babybrit: U do. I'm in ya head Cam, its ok u can admit it. :P

Blue_QQ: LOL! It was a complete accident I promise. I wasn't paying attention to the room. I'm there but I'm not there ya know? I'm working on a new song. That's all. :D

babybrit: Cameron take a breath hunni I'm teasing ya u dork. lolz
babybrit: Or was I? ;)

Blue_QQ: LOL!

babybrit: Its ok I already know I'm in ya head. It happens with everyone.

Blue_QQ: I'm sure it does. I mean Beth just look at ya. ;)

babybrit: Haha yea right. I'm nothing special, I'm just me. Me who needs her ugly sleep.

Blue_QQ: Nerd bomber! If you need ugly sleep I'm the freaking' queen of England. :P

babybrit: Well ur majesty u want to call?

Blue_QQ: Of course! :D

babybrit: K then, gimme 5 mins then call.

Blue_QQ: Sounds like a plan Stan.

babybrit has signed out

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You really don't give up do you?" I said teasingly to Beth on the phone an hour later.

"Persistence is me middle name." She said smugly. "Now are ya going to tell me r' not."

"I thought Michelle was your middle name." I replied.

"Haha" Beth said sarcastically. "You know ya want to." She said playfully.

"Oi woman!"

"Oi wench!" Beth mimicked my tone. "Please Cam?" Her voice took on a sweet tone that, mixed with her accent made my stomach do flips. I took a deep breath and tried to still them. I became very much aware of how much my palms were sweating and wiped them on my pants legs. She wasn't going to make this easy on me. Oddly enough though, I liked that about her. I liked that easy repartee that she and I had. I liked the back and forth banter that we shared. And for some reason I liked knowing that she already knew the truth. Taking a deep breath I sighed.

"Ok, ok." I admitted, my palms sweating more profusely now, heat rising to my cheeks and my stomach now feeling like it was on the worlds largest roller coaster. "I like you. Alright? I hear your voice on the phone and I see you on your webcam and I get the biggest butterflies in my stomach." I confessed quickly.

"Aww you get butterflies?" She sighed.

"Yes I do." I said, feeling quite embarrassed at my own openness.

"Mum says that's meant to be a sign of lovvvvvvve." She giggled.

Katie Martin was a wise woman. Id gotten to know her through phone calls and various I.M. conversations with Beth, as well as sharing a few chats and calls of our own. She had become like a second mother to me, and it didn't really surprise me that she would tell her daughter something like that. She had given me a few words to live by in the short time Id known her, and for whatever reason seemed to think Id be perfect for her Beth. Though I knew it would never happen, I hoped that mothers intuition would be right.

"Beth can we please forget I said anything?" I begged, feeling as thought I wanted to hide somewhere and never come out.

"Ok." She replied. "Ta for telling me Cam, I know your embarrassed, but please don't be. I don't want this to change our friendship." She said earnestly.

"I don't want it to either." I replied. "But I cant promise not to be embarrassed." I said with a laugh. "I mean I just professed my feelings of attraction to someone who is still very much in love with her ex girlfriend, knowing full well there's no possibility of anything." I said sheepishly. "Of course I'm going to be embarrassed." I stated.

"You're right Cam," Beth said softly, hiding a yawn. "I do love Janette, and I will for a very long time. But I know that you've gotten under my skin too. I think you're a wonderful person, inside and out. And yes I am attracted to you. Its all so confusing b'cause I know I don't want to hurt you Cam and I know that's what's going to happen." She paused. "Oi my head feels all buggered up." She said, knowing she was becoming more serious than she wanted to be.

"Well woman," I said decisively. "Lets put you to bed. Nothing has to be decided right now, or ever." I paused. "We're friends Beth, and that's enough for me."

"You're great Cameron, you know that?" She wondered. "You really are."

"I try." I said chuckling. "Now lets put you to bed. Sleep well." I said bringing our conversation to an end for the night.

"You too when ya go." She replied, and once again the sound of the dial tone filled my ears.

Beth and I continued to forge a close knit friendship, despite the distance. She and I spoke over the phone and emailed and I.M.'ed each other everyday, at least two times a day. I read her my stories, poems and lyrics. She gave me her input, and on occasion even attempted to sing some of my songs to me. We became a part of each others life and a part of each others family.There was nothing I didn't tell her, and nothing she didn't tell me. I was falling fast and falling hard. She too was beginning to open up more and allow herself to feel something for me. And it became more and more clear as the days passed by that something was about to happen ... Though at the time I didn't know what it was.

"I HATE that asshole!" I huffed out through clinched teeth over the phone.

"I know you do." Beth said, listening to me rant.

My ex fiancee hadn't come to terms with the fact that I was now a lesbian, and did his best to make my life a living hell since I ended things with him. Constant phone calls in the middle of the night. Drive by's, and waiting outside my home and work. His latest attempt is what had sent me over the edge though. He had signed onto my email and gotten ahold of Beth's number and was now calling and threatening her. He had warned her that if she knew what was "good for her" she would distance herself from me "or else". I knew he didn't have the balls to fly 3,000 miles to follow through on his threats, but just the simple fact that he was harassing her was enough to really piss me off. Messing with me was one thing. Bringing Bethany into it was a different story. He didn't know her, and she had done nothing to him.

"I cant believe he would have the audacity to do what hes done." I said pacing the floor of my bedroom, feeling my anger building inside of me. "God I want to punch something." I stated firmly, my breathing hot and heavy as I searched my room for anything that would allow me the pleasure of being Rodney Hewitt's face for even 10 seconds.

"Cameron, calm down honey." Beth said. "I'm not afraid of him at all. Actually I think its funny." she stated.

"I'm glad one of us thinks that." I said. "Because it does scare me Beth ... the thought of him, hell anyone laying a finger on you..." I trailed off, as my voice began to break.

"Sweetie..." She said softly. "Listen to me," She paused. "NOTHING..." She emphasized the word.

"Is going to happen to me. I'll be fine."

"I know." I said. " Its just ... I..."

"Cameron I'll be fine. Don't worry so much please?" She pleaded with me. "I'll be fine baby I promise." She said, the word catching us both off guard momentarily and turning my insides upside down.

"I... did you just...?" I couldn't find the words to speak. My mouth had gone dry and my tongue had apparently forgotten how to work.

"Yea." She said quietly. "I did."

"What... Why? I mean did you..." I trailed off once more.

"Aye, I meant it. I don't know why. N' I don't know what it means. I don't want to think right now. I have to go." She said quickly and before I knew it shed gone, leaving me to sit with my thoughts and my confusion.

We didn't talk for three weeks, the longest amount of time since Id been back home. She needed her space. She needed time to clear her head. And I wanted to give it to her, no matter how long it took, or how hard it was to do. I knew it wasn't easy being in a situation like this, and I knew that whatever the decision, it wasn't going to be an easy one. Her heart was after all with Janette. And I knew that if she could, she would do whatever it took to make it work. I also knew that Bethany and I had something. What it was I didn't know, nor did I know how to define it. It was a connection deeper than friendship, and I knew whether or not she was ready to admit it, she felt it. I also knew that what she felt for me scared her. I knew that's why she had to run that night. I knew that all I could do now was sit and wait. I just hoped that what she ran from would lead her back.


I don't know how long Id been asleep that night but the sound of the phone ringing had woken me up. Draping my arm over the side of the bed and groping around in the darkness for the light and the phone on my nightstand I knocked a few things off before finally answering it.

"Hullo?" I say, my voice sleep filled.

"Cameron?" The voice on the other end says. "Did I wake you?"

"No." I say sarcastically. "I was in the middle of a really long blink."

"Oh." The voice said, as I grabbed the alarm clock that was now laid on the floor and looked at the time. 5:30 am the red light seemed blindingly brighter than usual, as I tried to figure out who was speaking to. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't 'av called. You go back to sleep." The British accent becoming suddenly more distinct and waking me all the more.

"Beth?" I questioned, sitting up quickly on my bed. "Is everything ok? Did something happen?" I asked becoming suddenly alarmed at the thought.

"No, no. We're all fine." She said hurriedly. "I called ... I just ... Happy Birthday!" She said finally.

"Thanks." I said my voice filled with confusion. "But my birthday was last wee..."

"I saw Janette today, at the pub. I saw her and we kissed." She interrupted me quickly.

"Oh." I said feeling liked Id suddenly been punched in the stomach. "What about Marci?" I questioned, already knowing the answer.

"They broke up." She replied. "We just started talking ...Spent the whole afternoon together. One thing led to another and it just...Happened." She finished.

"I'm happy for you." I said after taking a deep breath. "You guys deserve another shot. I really hope it works this time around. Your a great woman Beth and you deserve to be happy." I said swallowing heard and trying hard to hide the fact that I felt as though I were going to cry. I only hoped Id sounded as convincing to her as I tried to be to myself.

"Thank you Cameron, very much. I know how hard that must 'av been for you to say, but ..." She paused. "We wont be getting back together." I was shocked. I was happy, but at the same time I was sad. I knew how much Bethany loved Janette, and I knew how much she wanted to make things work given the opportunity.

"I'm so sorry Beth." I said not knowing what else to say. Hoping that that simple phrase would make all the pain and sadness I knew she must be feeling go away, yet knowing it wouldn't.

"Its for the best." Beth replied. "It didn't feel right." She said.

"What? Why?" I asked curling my legs beneath me, confusion clear in my voice. "I thought that's what you wanted?"

"I thought so too." She said. "Until the past few weeks..." Her words trailed off and there was a lingering silence. Taking a deep breath, her words came out on a shaky, and fast. "I think I'm in love with you Cameron." She confessed, her words catching me off guard. I spent what seemed like an eternity searching myself for a response. Id waited for a long time to hear her say this, and now that it was here, I thought for sure I was dreaming.

"You think, or you know?" I questioned, feeling suddenly like I was trapped in an episode of Dawson's Creek.

"I know." She said, and for the first time that morning I heard the happiness and relief in her voice. "I know I am." She repeated.

"What about what you told me?" I paused. "I thought you said you could never do a long distance relationship?" I asked, wanting to be sure this was what she really and truly wanted.

"I thought so too Cam, but it cant possibly be any harder to stay together than it was to stay apart the past couple weeks." She said. "Your under my skin Cameron 'n ya in my head." She said. "I want to try it with you." Again words seemed to fail me.

"So ... This being in love with me thing..." I paused. "Can you say it one more time?" I teased. "I mean I want to make sure I heard you correctly." I said playfully being a smart ass.

"Oi." She laughed.

"Goofball." I said before taking a deep breath and allowing her to hear what Id kept inside of me for so long. "I love you Beth!" My heart was beating fast, and my palms sweaty. I felt like Id just taken a massive drop off a rollercoaster. "I love you so much." I said, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Just remember who said it first wench." She said playfully.

"Can you refresh my memory?" I teased.

"Ya not going to let me live this down r'ya?" She laughed.

"Nope." I laughed.

"Fine, fine..." She laughed and I could almost see her rolling her eyes at my smart ass playfulness.

"I said it." She replied, and I felt those butterflies going mad within.

"Tell mum she was right." I said smiling.

"About what?" She questioned.

"The butterflies." I said. "They are a sign of love."

If you have enjoyed Carrie Walker's "She's Like The Wind", then please be certain to e-mail her at  carrie_walker76[at]hotmail.com and thank her for posting this Story.

Click here for a list of all of Carrie Walker's  Stories and Poetry at  Sapphic Voices Authoresses.

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